Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 328: Reviews of Beginner Crochet Kits

Episode Date: March 12, 2025

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Because while your playlist screams, I need a vacation, my algorithm suggests book before March 30th. Remember Sunwing, save more, do more. Book with your local travel advisor or at sunwing.ca. Welcome to Beach Too Sandy Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. ["Sandie Water Too Wet"]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. This is the podcast where we read reviews in the, whoa, I lost my place. We read reviews in the most dramatic fashion. Okay. My name is Zandi. And we're here today to talk about beginner's crochet kits. Okay.

Oh, you didn't know? You weren't sure no i i thought you'd say your name first or something but oh i don't know you did i not i was like i'm zandia and you're like we're here to read okay okay right to it right i can't wait uh any longer my name is christine and we're siblings and we read reviews and that's a whole gist of it. So Amanda our patrons suggested beginners crochet kits this week and Ali suggested your challenge Alexander. What's your challenge this week? Has to do with customizing stuff wrong cakes personalizations Customizations being wrong. Yes. I'm very excited. We restart that one

For people who can't follow whatever I just said. Okay, uh, Do you want to say what my challenge is? Oh, no Yeah, I can yes, okay, please do So your challenge Andy was from alley and it's reviews where people receive the wrong personalization Uh, I I can't wait. I hope I mean my My track would be to go find blankets on Amazon But I imagine there were a lot more options than that, especially with all the emails we got. Yeah I'm gonna be honest. I only thought of one kind and only received reviews of one kind cakes. Yeah Wow Everybody I didn't even write cakes in it. I don't think didn't I thought it now. I'm like, is this a Mandela effect?

Oh, it was it was reviews of bakeries. Oh, sorry. I was like hmm. You know, it's so crazy. I was like a little nervous there. I was like, oh shit I didn't believe in Mandela effects until right now. Now I finally get it. It's like oh my god My reality is not this... There's no way you were wrong about something. Yeah, we must have split timelines. That's the only explanation. Can you go first? Yeah of our beginner crochet kits? Yep. Okay way you were wrong about something. Yeah. We must have split timelines. That's the only explanation. Can you go first? Yeah. Of our beginner crochet kits? Yep.

Okay. Uh, I'll do that after I mentioned that we did naughty episode one for patrons. We said we were going to do that and it was so stupid. Well, okay. But weirdly well received. I said, okay, so we just came up with it on the fly, watched it like, you know, recorded. And then as we started the episode, I said, oh, so we just came up with it on the fly, watched it, like, you know, recorded, and then as we started the episode, I said, oh, we did this cool thing on Patreon, and Alexander was like, I haven't uploaded that yet, and now everyone's gonna expect it there.

So he had to like do a rush order on the final product, but yeah, it seems to be getting quite a bit of good reception, unfortunately, for me, because it means Alexander broughtander brought naughty episode two today and we're gonna uh watch that for a future release an upcoming release on i won't say like right now so that alexander doesn't have to yeah we're probably we're gonna we're we're thinking like couple times a month at the start or something but you know we'll see what people how people feel maybe maybe it was a one-off and people are like, please actually never make me watch this stupid weird children's cartoon again

At least the vocal people were Weirdly into it. Right? So yeah, just and I had fun. So whatever I'm watching that take that cat's tail pop Okay, everybody's okay. Everybody's fan theories on patreon of like why if like somebody said like I think it's a wig or like a hair extension That's why she didn't feel it falling off. Yeah, if you're like what's going on Yes, this is a children's television show where a cat's tail fell off, but it's so much more than that really wouldn't you agree Alexander? So I hope I hope you check it out you can go to patreon.com slash bt Sandy, but anyway patrons Thank you for all your input and doing our labor for us as usual and sending in so many reviews of crochet kits and cakes. And I have an email to start us off from

Amanda, she they, who I assume suggested it. So Amanda says I am so excited y'all picked this theme and it is one that makes being a Patreon with videos 1000% worth it, because these reviews slash pictures had my partner and I, shout out Izzy, who is also a listener, I love you so much. That I love you so much was from me. Um. Not me, I want to be very clear, I did not sign off on that. I have no affection one way or the other.

Literally, almost pissing our pants. In these rough-ass times We are in these good laughs were much needed things for all the humor and light you crazy sibs bring into this world Even though it's just us taking your content and if your Izzy is the Izzy that also emails us all the time Thank you for bringing the light to us, but I don't want to give credit for one Izzy to the other. Shout out to both those Izzy's or one. Amanda self-identified as a patron and Izzy. As a Patreon. As a Patreon, I'm so sorry, that's so embarrassing

and so non-PC of me, I apologize. And then Izzy, well, at least Amanda identified Izzy as a listener and I feel like those have very different, like if you're starting off strong saying I'm a Patreon and then you say Izzy's just a listener and I feel like those have very different tiers. Like if you're, you know, starting off strong saying I'm a Patreon and then you say Izzy is just a listener. I mean, it didn't say just but the just was implied. The just was implied. Yeah.

Yeah, you're actually right. So if you are Izzy, they, them who always sends in so many wonderful reviews then I apologize for doubting being a doubting. But otherwise you're standing up for what's right. Otherwise I'm standing up for what's right and that's usually how it goes most of the time. That's like a blanket umbrella'm standing up for what's right. And that's usually how it goes most of the time. That's like a blanket umbrella statement for me, actually. Got it.

Okay. Thank you for clarifying it all. So I have a few reviews for you and I need you to look at my notes for these. Okay. So that's what we're saying is it's, it's exciting to be a patron because Amanda will be able to see the pictures, the cakes. It's TBD weather Izzy will be able to see it. Yeah, Izzy might not be allowed to.

Gotcha. If Amanda is sharing with Izzy, then we're gonna have to cancel the page. Right. We're gonna have to like, or you know what? We'll just get like the FBI involved. Well, I was gonna say I'll just call the police, but FBI is probably easier. And I will also add that I promise we usually get into the theme faster, but I think we're just a little discombobulated. It's a Sunday for some reason. You should not be promising that. It's just discombobulated. It's a Sunday for some reason. You should not be promising that.

It's just discombobulated. And I will say also that we'll post some of the pictures to Instagram or social media, so don't worry, we'll post some of them, but just in case you, uh, you know, have bring 400 cakes to me. Yes, we will have them on the YouTube. Yeah, there will be there. This is a very visual episode, but not just visual and will also describe the images as best. Don't worry, which sometimes descriptions are better in my opinion than the actual image.

Sometimes they're less traumatizing than having to see them. That is for sure. But I'm going to get started here with a five star review. I can't call this a redemption based on the image, Oh, but I'm gonna probably put positive music for you know The vibe here we go This is a review of the bubbles crochet kit bubbles from powerpuff girls So you can scroll down and look at the Finish product if you'd like of what you should look like and here's a five-star review and this is a wubbles

Oh, sorry. This is a wubles. Sorry. If you're like what the hell is a like power like what are you saying any of the things? Yeah I know. Bubbles, Powerpuff. I'm not gonna explain all of that. No we can't. Google it yourself. We don't have time for that. But it is of a Wubles which is a kit that you can buy that basically teaches you how to crochet a little creature of sorts, or in this case, a Powerpuff Girl, a TV show on Cartoon Network from the 90s, 2000s? Five stars, really good bubbles, so cute, and really good for beginners who want to take their whooply journey a step further.

End of review, now please scroll down to their review with image Remember that picture that you took with that guy at IHOP who was dressed as a burn victim? Which like again so inappropriate as a Halloween costume, et cetera, but this really takes the cake for melting, making yarn look like it's melting. I'm impressed, honestly. Yeah, and it looks like blood is seeping out of people's eyes. Oh my God, you're right. Okay, wait, why is there even red?

But I don't know where the red came from. There's no red in the picture. I'm hoping... There's no red yarn in the kit, Alexander. That's to have been intentional then, right? I just zoomed in and there's no red ingredients. Because that's hilarious. What the F?

Okay, I don't want to know when they... Doesn't it look like Xs underneath? That's really alarming. I don't think so. That's unpleasant. I don't think so. I'm going to change the tab here for my own sanity. Oh, I want to also add before I go into mine, my first one, I wrote, I swear I didn't plan

this because I really didn't. Somebody suggested it. But Alexander, I actually bought this last week with Leona with the intention of making it for you. Where did he go I've and then I and then I had a full-blown Near like a full-blown neurotic episode like a like a what do you call it? Nervous breakdown I had a full-on nervous breakdown because I want to show you the instructions is it in like crochet notation and

Yeah, of course, you'd have a nervous breakdown. I watched one YouTube video yesterday or two nights ago. I've never been so humiliated in my life is what I'll start with. Reading those instructions? And having my daughter say, mommy, come on, make it. Come on, can you make it? And then having to tell her I've failed monumentally. I haven't even, it's not even that I failed,

I haven't even tried, because I don't know how. It's so, it does not look easy. Devastated, here it is. Oh, it's so cute. This is Simon Sloth, and I bought him at Michaels.com, or at MichaelsTheStore, not dot com. And I thought, oh, he looks cute, it's Simon Sloth for Uncle Zandy.

And so we bought him home. So difficult to make. Yeah, well, it's like intermediate. And I should have known like I'm not, I don't even know how to beginner crochet, let alone intermediate, but I thought, oh, well I can cross stitch. I can do like, I can do, you know,

other other fabric stitching type crafts. And I thought, well, I've done plenty of beginners kits. I don't need a beginner's kit. What a fucking fool I was yeah well I agree I watched I watched the video on beginner crochet and it was like first thing you do is like make a square and it looked so hard they're like don't worry just do it in magic rounds and I'm like what the fuck is a map like what are you even saying to my face right now and everything is in little abbreviations I really it has haunted me and so then when this topic was suggested I was like yeah let's fucking go people let's get into it and

I'm so anyway I want to start with a very negative tone unlike yours which started with a really lovely tone I wouldn't call what we just saw lovely that the bubbles but I wouldn't say that we just saw lovely that the bubbles, but I wouldn't say that it was lovely. I will say though, like the go with the flow, impeccable vibes of the reviewer saying like, yeah, this is exactly what I was going for. Really like set a nice tone, you know, an uplifting tone. And I'm here to ruin that for you.

OK, you did. You did well. Thank you. That's all I ask. All right so if you would go to my notes please you'll see Kiki the chick. This one was sent in by Sarah. She, her. It's just like a little chickie and this review is a one-star review and I want to say it's a little too close to home for me so I'm just this one I took a little personally. The wings were so hard to make. I burst out crying and I still am crying.

I started hyperventilating. I could not make them. I can't do it. The wings are too hard. And now I'm seeing why so many people have pictures of just their thing without the wings because of how fricking hard it is to make the wings. And I don't know how people make the wings.

Like, am I supposed to do six single stitches or four? Because the first round it says four for the magic loop, but the thing it says to do six, so that's confusing. And then making the actual wings is really hard and confusing and it makes you like, it was a big emotional roller coaster for me and I would not recommend it to someone who gets very emotional.

Otherwise, everything was, if I wish I had seen that by the way, before I went to Michael's store and I would have really held off. This is like basically a ball with like two little wings and yours is like a fucking sloth with arms and legs. And a scarf. And a scarf.

Like it is a full creature, not like a ball with little wings. And it's like, what do I think? Like I don't know how to crochet a human-sized scarf. What makes me think I can crochet like a miniature sloth-sized scarf? You know, it's like what in what world was was I gonna be able to do this by myself? But you know she a straight line certainly not or a circle or any of the shapes. Here we go Otherwise everything was pretty good. I don't know how I feel about everything though. I don't think I would buy another kid from them Oh, sorry, it says kid, but I think it means kit. I

Hope so. I Don't know how I feel about everything though. I don't think I would buy another kit from them. I do not think so because they just know it's too hard, too confusing. I just, it hurts me, like it hurts my brain when I make it. No, I'm not buying from them. It's too hard. I'm gonna buy it from somebody else. Sell Magic Loop. That makes it for you because I did see this one girl who makes, like, she doesn't make the loop, but she gives you something to make the Magic Loop and I feel like the woobles if they did that I would start buying from them a lot more than I have because I'm only bought this one and I don't think I could be able to do anything else about

having a mental breakdown if I end up review the most ominous ending yeah that ended not when I expected um wow it sounds like a uh it to, to, to have voiced this either in typing or voice to text. It seemed very voice to text. I agree. And there was like a mix of punctuation. So you do get the sense that every now and then they paused and, you know, offered a comma or punctuation verbally.

But can I show you, so scroll down in my notes and if you see this person's little kit here with a loose leaf paper underneath and on the loose leaf paper, they've drawn two crying faces. Oh my gosh, this is so sad. Or just like the idea, I mean, that's like a tear stained paper, I promise you. Based on the...

That's so sad. It's like these little drawings of like a sad face and then just all these little tears streaming from it. So many tears. So many. Waterfalls of tears. So many tears. Oh, I meant to mention, I'm so sorry, that was from Sarah She Her. I think I forgot to say that, so thank you, Sarah. Wowie.

I just noticed in your notes you have a little symbol next to the name so it's a little ball of yarn. Well it was a gravestone at first and then I thought if I start going down like what is emotionally challenging for me to research each week it's going to be a gravestone most weeks. Yeah I was going to say that's not a good way to do it. So I took my emotion out of it just put a ball of yarn. My next one also from Amanda,

this is of another Wubles, but of Mojo Jojo. Oh, another Powerpuff situation. This is ranked beginner plus slash intermediate. I don't know what the bubbles was, but. Well, so they said step up your game or whatever, and then they put- Oh, true. So it may probably be something similar. similar well here's the five star review well I tried lol this is the face I got after five attempts I did so well on the body but that face just would not come

together lol I'm not blaming the whooble I'm blaming myself just thought I'd give someone a laugh by sharing this end of of review. And if you scroll down, you can see. How meta though that they are sharing a laugh here with everybody. Okay, scrolling down. By the way, the Mojo Jojo is so cute, the actual. Oh my God. Oh, that's it. That does not match the face.

It looks... It's like... You know what it looks like? Like a Lego or something like it like a kid story that's like trying to look mean but doesn't really really scare the kids you know you'll also notice in the other picture there are no arms even though oh see okay so this is a thing because I think it's like attaching the the arms or it's like a totally different type of as if I know

Christine stop pretending you know it I'm just gonna stop myself before I yeah, it makes sense like you're doing just the same Rings around but then you have to like add arms to attach them. Like that's yeah, it feels complicated and Also, just make I don't know this whole thing just looks difficult Like I said, I watched the whole like 15 minute beginner YouTube video on making a square Yeah last night I'm glad you did that because that was my position when Leona was I was panicking because Leona kept saying do it do it Do it and I was like I can't she goes no no just like read the constructions Which is what she calls instructions and I'm like that's cute for a minute

And then once she tells you to read the constructions and starts like actually getting disappointed and distraught with you It's like it's no longer cute funny. It's just now I look like a fool you to read the constructions and starts like actually getting disappointed and distraught with you. It's like, it's no longer cute and funny. It's just now I look like a fool. And then she of course picked out her own kit and it was these little berries and those were beginners. So I thought, well, that that'll be easier. Again, fool, fool, just the fool.

You gotta learn how to make a square. Yeah. Oh, by the way, she'll be excited by a square. Hopefully. I mean, I'll try to figure it out I I will say we watched a YouTube video also on how to do it and it was not their fault I'm sure they were doing their best but I like they were doing a good job But I couldn't even at my best figure out what was happening

But I did learn something fun about Leona, which is that when she watches YouTube video and they say thumbs up You know if you like this video Yesterday or the other day we were watching this and she looks at me and she puts her thumb up and she goes mommy put your thumb up if you like the video and i was like oh what and so i gave her a thumbs up she's like guess we both like the video and then she clicks on the next one i was like oh okay thumbs up okay got it. So That's delightful Now I have a crochet kit here. This is sent by Corinne. She her if you go into my notes you can see it's from Amazon, it's just kind of a like a

off-brand kind of little whoo-boos looking situation And apparently this is marketed toward beginners so you are sure to find some negative reviews by disgruntled customers like me in the comments. That is the case with John two stars verified purchase and the title is not remotely beginner friendly. Believe me when I tell you this crochet penguin is now the bane of my existence. I can't close my eyes at night without feeling his beady little eyes staring into my soul reminding me what a mistake I am that for the life of me I can't create a magic loop. What started out as a yearning to create a homemade Christmas present has since filled

me with dread. The woman in the tutorial videos, Godlover, makes it look so simple. A true crocheting angel. Meanwhile, I'm a fool. A fool with his hand covered in blue string, which will never look like a penguin. I've sat here for hours. I've watched other tutorials all for naught. KNOT.

Oh, that's actually kind of pretty good. I'm beginning to believe crocheting is a skill some are born with, with infants creating slip knots in utero. There is no skill to learn this. I'm tempted to stick those beady eyes directly on the spool itself, not for me but for him, for I could never turn that blue spool into the skin he's so desperately yearned for. First of all to call it a stuffed animal's skin, okay, you know? Yeah, I feel like they have the wrong attitude as they're trying to make this. Yeah, it feels a little bit like... Pulling its skin just feels like the pressure, the pressure. I mean to be God, you know? To act as God in this scenario.

Yeah. To give a penguin skin, which is what God did by hand. Largest organ. That's right. I'm tempted to stick those beady eyes directly on the spool itself, not for me but for him, for I could never turn that blue spool into the skin he so desperately yearned for. As I reflect on my life and on existence itself, I'm sorry for the penguin that will never be. This spool of yarn could have gone to a fellow crocheting angel but instead this

burden falls to me. I look at the bag full of plastic eyes and see my own tears reflected back Their shiny reflection a glimpse into what remains of my sad soul Arrived quickly all pieces included end of review. Oh, no Oh dear Just like even when he was describing the blue yarn I just had flashbacks of this don't just whip out a penguin's skin what the hell actually it's the largest organ

yeah you're just like fucking squeezing it like it's nothing well I'm trying to uh extinguish it for to put it out of its misery yeah that's good that's probably for the best. I think so. Okay. So I don't know if you all have been there, but I've been there where it's like, you get this meal kit and it's like, oh, it's easy, but then it ends up being really complicated

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Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. So I have another one here from Amanda. This is of, and you can scroll down just to, I don't know, I don't have an after picture, but this is of the easy peasy beginner bundle. So from Wubles and it's like a bunny, a penguin, a chick and a fox. The fox is so cute. Yeah, it's very adorable.

None of these look like a beginner could just make this. Like that's what I, like this looks so difficult to me, especially after watching how hard it is to make a single square. I think it's because they're so cute that to me I'm like, oh and they're so small. I'm like, well, that's easy. I'm sure and it's like maybe I'm just a sucker for marketing I have no idea but to me it just but some people I guess do find it easy Maybe it's just like you have to come with a certain base skill set. I don't know. Yeah, maybe

Well here is a one-star review Yeah, maybe. Well, here is a one-star review. Worst birthday gift ever. I got these for my daughter's birthday and we all later decided to throw them away because all they did was make my daughter cry for hours after listening to the confusing and hard to follow instructions.

Even after looking at the help page for what she was struggling with, she was still lost. I would not recommend buying from this brand and will never again buy anything from this brand and My god, okay But I get it like I remember mom trying to teach me to like knit and I was just like crying and she was just screaming Like how do you not get it? I mean not that the YouTube lady was doing that I hope because that would be a really niche type of like parenting Retropetizing slash instructional video doing that I hope because that would be a really niche type of like parenting slash um retropetizing slash instructional video but wow yeah I can I can I am one to cry immediately when I get frustrated like being frustrated is like my least favorite thing in the world which I mean

I guess no I know what you're saying though. Yeah, common but Immediately would would Calculator his fucking calculator. It's like the tears which it's almost like pablobian at this point. Remember that time I googled uh, Engineering calculators and just started sobbing on air. Yeah It's fine. It was fucking powerful so stressful And it's like oh my gosh, the learning curve just gets steeper every, by every second. And I just keep falling further and further from understanding what's going on. Put it in the box. You got to put it in the box. It's like putting it in the box first. You're really actually getting me upset. I'm so sorry. I don't think I even had that concept conceptualized as words in my mind until you just said that.

I'm so sorry. And you know how you have like a second brain in your gut? That brain just reactivated and got like really upset. Anyway, um, the Wubbles responded to that thing. No! Very, like I'm not even gonna like read it as normal, but I will say they- I know, but do you imagine she just starts crying harder? No.

She's like, the Wubbles responded, honey, sweetie, look. And it's just like now the Wubbles, by the way, are in the trash already, and it's already been trash picked up. Which I will say is very dramatic. I feel like if that's your solution to give it to somebody else to use. Alexander, here's the thing. It's literally the cheapest ass. It was like $2.99 or something. It's like the cheapo crappy.

I mean, I can see why you would get mad and think, well this is not the end of the world to throw away. But I do appreciate that yes, I will find someone on this fucking green planet who can crochet anybody, anybody and give it to you, you can have it. But that is not a Wubles kit. No, it is actually a Michaels kit.

Wubles kits are like $40 plus. Oh, are they? Seriously? Well, yeah, they're expensive. Oh. Like a single, I don't know how much this one is, but like the Modo Jojo was $40. $40? For just the Modo Jojo. Oh, I'm so sorry. This was, I think, like five bucks max.

And this is of the easy easy beginner bundle. Okay, okay. Yeah, so that's gonna be expensive. Okay. I this is like an off-brand one. So i'm sure even Even being off-brand it's probably harder because it's like less Well, this is a hundred dollars Um this bundle that they bought. That's a hot. Oh my god. And no wonder you oh my god And then it's like birthday gift. So I didn't know they were so expensive. I was like, hopefully there were other things in the birthday. A hundred dollar present.

Okay. Wait, what did the Wubles say? I'm sorry. I keep getting distracted. It was actually Justine, the co-founder, um, and the person in the videos. Oh wait, are you serious? She must know by now how many people she makes cry every day. And you know what?

Add one more to the tally Janine That's what she said. She's like It's just it's just your daughter's another one to me and no number She I just hit the million and she got like a pizza party because of it. So you're fucking welcome Justine No, just was very She was very sorry to hear that. I was like, I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter cried over these kids. She must be pretty stupid. Sorry, that's just me reading the comments.

And then just said like, the Wubles, we made the Wubles to spread joy and stuff. So they were like, very positive. Yeah, right. I find this to be such a, I'm starting a conspiracy theory that the Wubles people just did this to cause like mass war and like civil war and chaos because there's no f-ing way. Oh, here they are. Sweet snuggles by loops and thread. That makes me feel so condescended, too. You have no f-ing clue. B. Wait, the YouTuber I watched? It was amazing, like watching that beginner. It made me appreciate how difficult it was, but like the instruction itself seemed like useful if I want to learn which I

kind of do Be so careful Really not for emotional people. My plan would not be to start with a large sloth figurine It would be to get a single ball of yarn and a single crochet hook or a couple different. I don't know the different types I know there are and then like get the first basics and just see how I feel about like just doing it. Just see how it feels. About venturing into this space. Yeah.

Okay. I can understand that. Just do something very simple and be like, does this feel like something I want to continue doing? Wow. Well, I will say if anybody wants to try out the ones from Michael's, they are $11.99 but they're always like 30% off. We got them on clearance so they were even cheaper i think they were 60% off but um there's a reason for that i want you to know that now and maybe the woobles are like easy or something and i'm like now i just look again

like a fool but i they're obviously not based on these reviews so or you can just go to watch good knit kisses. Oh That was a plan B. Yeah, that's the video I watched. It was a 16 minute video How to single crochet beginner crochet lesson one right-handed with captions and I was like this sounds great Anyway, and it was good. Oh, she's so sweet. So, okay, so Oh, I'm so sorry. No, you have I I'm so glad you're watching, Kristian. This is so personal. And I didn't mean for everybody to hear that I was, I was already moving on from Simon and Simon Sloth and Justine. No, this is just taking a step, many steps back. Oh, I just have to move the finish line a little further. Okay. Yeah, so good knit kisses

Good name. This is very very good. Very good One video and I was like, you know what? I'd like to try this no notes Not yet once I'm once I'm an expert Yeah, I won't be watching it so I won't have any notes because I'm actually already too scared to start crying again because I'm actually already too scared to start crying again. Speaking of which, this is from Taylor, they, them, who said, the amount of children crying reviews that I read was vast and sad.

I remember crying a lot as an adult learning to crochet, so it is very relatable. Shout out to my roommate, Carol, who taught me to crochet even though I was crying. So Taylor must have like a more more grit than I do. Well most people do but it's not hard to achieve but this is a one-star review by George and it is of a Fox kit on Amazon and this is a Wubble as well. I bought three of these for my ten-year-old owing to our spending two months in Italy and her needing a source of private time other than reading and videos.

She watched the Wubbles videos and spent quite some time trying to get off home plate, but never could. And she has some experience with this sort of needlework. Then my wife tried it. She's a radiologist. She spent quite some time with the video and she could not do it. Wubbles are not for everyone. End of review.

That was very validating to me, which is why I appreciated it. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna read a review that was sent in by Jacqueline, she her, and has something to say. And this has been kind of relevant throughout this episode so far. Said, I recently learned to crochet with the Wubles, so was very excited for this theme. My general observation is that people really don't enjoy being a beginner, lol. Oh my god.

And I was like, yeah, that's kind of the attitude I've been seeing. Did you already call the FBI? Because I want to call them on this person because I was like, did you already call the FBI? Cause I want to call them on this person. Cause I feel like they're attacking me. Yeah, that was, that wasn't an attack, but not necessarily wrong. That makes it work. You realize that makes it worse, right? That's why it's an attack on me specifically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who is this again? First lesson? I can't. I can't. This is from... I don't know.

This is a Harry Potter crochet kit. Okay. Okay. From the Wimples. Two stars. Fun but confusing. I'm semi-new at crocheting and while the start of the video was great at explaining everything, it got really confusing. I did not like how to would change from the blue thing to Harry Potter. If you're going to show me how to make Harry Potter, please stay with that. Also I feel like the further you got into the directions, the more confused I got. I went from making a body to then making

Slipknot and other things with no idea if I'm making something else changing yarn color, etc. Is this like a brag? Like, oh look at me. I just accidentally started making slipknot. Oops. Sorry I'm getting again very very triggered. I have no idea. I don't know how to make a slipknot. That's not true I learned from goodnight kisses. CINNAMONS I think that I do. From goodnight kisses? Good good. BOWEN I've only gotten to his ears, but you're told to make a magic loop and fasten off, but the fastening off part is completely different. Then the next video is to make a second ear.

I got confused because when did I make a first ear? I'm going to finish this, but I'm not sure I can do another one. End of review. CINNAMONS It's like so upsetting, especially when you buy it as something to do, like as a like I bought this for you and I was like I'm gonna make this for Alexander and then we got this like theme and I thought oh perfect you know it'll be like I can display Simon the Sloth on camera and like now I just have his skin to show you and his unraveled scarf Wow, yeah again just really relatable Wow, so I have one from Julia She Her it's a one-star review

I believe it's supposed to be of a frog question mark. I'll be clear I don't totally know and you'll see why in a moment question mark I'll be clear I don't totally know and you'll see why in a moment I'll have you pull it up after I'm done reading the review okay okay I'm sorry I hate myself for doing that but that's what okay not good again then don't say what that's not what I meant that That's not what my what meant. No Okay, I'll just read it occur occur Well, that's a little bit worse. Just We all know what you what what what goes there? Can you move on?

It was really hard for me to do and I bought it at Barnes & Noble. It was so hard I cried I then decided to just make a blob aka. Mr. Goats, man so hard I cried, I then decided to just make a blob, AKA Mr. Goatsman, and in review, now I just- Mr. Goatsman? Now scroll down and see. I'm afraid, I don't know if I wanna see this. I think you do. He's just, he's just- What?

He's just a blob with eyes. A green ball yard with eyes. She literally took like this, and just like somehow wrapped it over and over and over into a ball and then like somehow stuck the eyes in it and he made Mr. Goatsman. And he doesn't look like a goat or a man. It's because it's Mr. Goatsman. That's right. So, yeah, I'm glad you understand. Yeah.

It speaks for itself. Oh my god can we do a challenge? Somebody write this down. Reviews where the someone says this picture speaks for itself or something but it's like doesn't. Oh yeah I like that. The picture speaks for itself and is this confusing. It's just like has nothing to do with anything. Adds more confusion yeah. Okay I like it. I have a review or an email here from Denny He-they who sent in a review for the yarn store at Nob Hill in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Oh, okay. This is a fun little twist. And Denny says, this isn't exactly a crochet kit, but it is a store that sells yarn.

So it's not exactly a crochet kit. It's not even remotely a crochet kit. Just wait. Just, hey, you don't know that yet. Listen to what Denny has to say. I don't actually know anything about crochet, but isn't a building full of yarn kind of like a giant kit that anyone can use? I stand corrected and I owe you a handshake.

Not you. I don't want it. Yeah. Okay, why a handshake. Not you. Ben I don't want it. Cristine Yeah. Ben Okay. Why a handshake? Cristine Because I've been proven, I've been, I stand corrected. Ben Oh, and that's the punishment? Is it a punishment to have to shake someone's hand? A listener's, a filthy listener's hand? Is that what it is? Cristine It's a punishment for them for making me

confused. I have to shake my hand. Ben Oh, that makes more sense. for them for making me confused. I have to shake my hand. Oh my god. That makes more sense. This is a two-star review. Excellent selection of yards. That's why I'm always trying to shake your hand. What the f- as an insult. As a punishment.

That's a poe as a punishment. And when I was little, you would just be like so upset. I'd say I'd just like put my hand up and be like nope too slow. So then it became a punishment for you. It just always backfired. Oh my god. Yeah I remember that. Okay. Put in the box. What box? I don't know. What? The engineering calculator. No, no, I forgot about it. Now you brought it back. That's your punishment since I killed you. Consider that a verbal handshake. A purple handshake? A verbal handshake. Oh, I thought you said purple. I was like, what does that mean?

Don't worry, we haven't reached threat level purple yet. I'll tell you when we get there. You'll know, actually. I'll know. That speaks for itself. That's so stupid. This is a review of the yarn store at Nob Hill, two stars. Excellent selection of yard, but extremely rude and unwelcoming staff. Upon walking into the yarn shop, I was greeted with a passive hi.

First of all. Did our father write this? Dear God, that's horrible. Can you imagine just the experience of someone saying hi to you at a store? What's a passive hi? That's insane. I mean, I guess it's like this, hi.

But even then I'd be like, are you having a hard time with a crochet kit or something? Or what's going on? Like I wouldn't take it personally. That's a lie, I would immediately take it personally. But you know. This is just the beginning. Upon walking into the yarn shop,

I was greeted with a passive hi. I was then immediately told that the ugly cat sitting on the front desk was waiting for me to pet it. I had no interest in petting it as I am deathly allergic to any and all cats. And it was so ugly, why would I pet it? I responded with a polite no thank you and continued my browsing for a navy blue yarn.

The next 10 minutes were the most awkward minutes of my life. The old lady at the front desk proceeded to tell everyone in the store and new customers who just walked in that that guy refused to pet her cat and that I somehow offended the feline, which one can only assume is her only true friend. I still ended up buying some yarn and checked out as the woman did not say a word to me the entire transaction.

I would like to remind the reader that I'm allergic to cats. I have to imagine that this woman was the type of bully in school who pressured the different student at the lunch table to touch peanut butter until an allergic reaction occurred. Hey! Is that a personal experience? Yeah, like, hey. It seemed very specific. I'm sorry that happened to you, but I don't think that that's what's you know I mean, I know that that's like hitting an old wound but man

and the owner responded and And like I'm not gonna read the whole thing But it wasn't that long but they basically just said like please like that's not what we're about Like I'm so sorry. Like how can I make it up to you or something? so I think the owner was not involved in this or like thought the interaction went different. I don't know if this was the person there, I don't know. But-

My cat's ugly and also a bitch, sorry. It's not my fault. The cat's just like really, really- That was really sad. You didn't have to hurt the cat. You know, it's like the cat didn't do anything here. Yeah. The cat just existed.

Just like leave the cat out of it. Okay. This is from Stacy. It's of a Hobby Lobby dog crochet kit. And the title of this review is $6 Brain Lobotomy. So they do sell like cheapo ones is the vibe. Like six bucks at Hobby Lobby and they are always on sale. So I feel like you could get these for ultra cheap which I was hoping for that one girl's birthday present but it sounds

like that was like her only birthday gift or a big one at least cuz that's anyway it's just it has me reeling the price point you told me from earlier I'm not against it because hopefully they're just easier to use than these but a six dollar one boy oh boy does it it have some haters for good reason. So $6 Brain Lobotomy, here we go. Hey, so this product made me wanna physically rip off my hands and cry, smiling face emoji. Great product for anyone looking to experience

overwhelming emotions of anger, sorrow, and despair. Really recommend for people who hate themselves. End of review. Jesus. Yeah, just a little bit intense. Okay, yeah. For such a lovely, seemingly lovely hobby. I know, for something that's supposed to be very relaxing.

The rage it brings out. Right, it does. I mean, you know, they do sell those things like, I punch, what is it, like, I stab things like a thousand times a day. Like the needle things and it's like, you see like older women on like the bus or the plane and they're like, and then they look closer.

You're like, what are they stitching? Like a little card and it says like, I stab things thousands back off. I stabbed things thousands of times. I'm like, okay, I get it. Yeah. So maybe there is some underlying wage. Maybe that's part of it.

People listening to true crime podcasts, what are they doing while they do that? They're freaking crocheting. Stabbing, stabbing. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. Playing with knots or stabbing. Yeah. Making slip knots. I mean, hello. This is all very violent if you think about it. Yeah, so true. I have one more thing. And this was sent in by Stephanie, she they, who sent in something on this website called cruise critic dot com. No, don't say it like that. You tricked me. And the title is Voyager embroidery kits. OK, and this is what Steve has to say.

We are sailing on Voyager in a few days time. Last time we sailed on her in 2018, there were complimentary cross stitch kits available on board, which DW enjoyed working on with the S&B crowd. Does anyone know whether this facility has survived the- Sons of bitches? No, sorry.

That survived the intervening difficult years. This was posted January, 2024, by the way. I can promise you they no longer give out Okay First of all S and B. I don't know what that is. I know they were like S cabin type I was trying to Google this like S and B If DW means dear wife then S B must mean what's like the ratio? what's like, you know, those things, those math problems, those math problem or those ratio problems they used to give us in elementary school

when they were testing us. No, what are you talking about? I don't know, I also recently saw TikTok. Is that when you went to that, like, they brought you that like lab downtown? Okay, no, I'm literally not fucking with you. I found this Reddit post recently that was like, does anybody remember these weird weird tests they would do?

And I'm like, yes. I mean, not in a lab, but like. What test? Can you explain it again? I just wasn't listening. This is different, I think. This is just, it was a standardized bubble test type thing, but it would be like, I mean, I don't know.

But it would say like, apples are two cores as like blank is to whatever's in the middle, you know, and so you'd have to like kind of reverse engineer the problem. So I was just trying to figure out what it would be. I already forget what we were talking about. S and B. That's right. So I said if D, W means dear wife, then S, B must mean, and I was asking if that helped, but obviously it did not. Okay, got it, just check it. Are you talking about like the ERBs? Oh my God! No wonder that was in my head, EB.

No, that doesn't make any sense either. I thought maybe that was the connection. Those are like the specific standardized tests that our school gave us. I think I was like the only one who didn't get to go to the cool lab and get tested like all this because I clearly I was not answering the questions correctly. My so we had to wear uniforms at our Catholic school if you didn't know that and the ERBs were standardized tests we'd get and

Oh my god, you're triggering so many memories. We didn't have to have to wear our uniform those days Which was called an out of uniform day And guess what? My birthday was always during the erbs and guess when else you could be out of uniform on your birthday So everyone was out of uniform on my birthday. So they wouldn't know it was my birthday. Oh, wait. Oh, wait That's actually way sad. I'm sorry. I thought it was gonna be like a fun thing for you and then it wasn't i'm sorry No, it never was I'm sorry. No, it never was. I'm sorry. Anyway, I don't know what S&B crowd is. I saw something about like a soul and blues like cruise but I don't think that's

right. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway. I love that fact because that means that you looked it up and that makes me happy. Yeah, I try. I usually do. Okay, I don't know about usually. But yeah, so then someone says, yes, it has survived. And someone else said, just a correction so you are not disappointed. The kits provided are for needle point and not cross stitch. It will be announced in passages when and where to meet up to collect your kit and work together on your projects. And in response, Steve who originally posted this said,

thank you for that info. My wife will be pleased. The distinction between cross-stitch and needle point for me, start and end with a sharp thing and colored thread, a bit like knitting and crochet are organized tangling. End of post. Yes, okay. I can, that's how I feel about it.

Cause I went in and I even took needle point lessons and I was like, wait, I can do this cause I can cross-stitch. And they're like, yeah, it's like sort of the same thing But not and I was like that's really a little too much for me to handle. Thank you. I need a lot more like clear You know Guidelines, but there are a lot more complex things you can do with needlepoint But the base at the base six it's very like similar Which is why again, I thought I could crochet and i was boy boy boy that's so sad but it makes sense that you would flake well i guess it doesn't though if you really

think about it for more than 10 seconds i guess if you had knit before even this guy knows the difference like he's even saying it's a difference like it's it's punching holes and things and then it's like a ball of tangled mess like that is already a distinction more than I considered. So true. So that was like the last comment I'm gonna, or post I'm gonna read. But a couple people shared examples of the needle point that they did, that they received on the cruises.

Okay, I was gonna ask like what do you think it is, but we already know. Oh my God, these are beautiful. Yeah, see this is needlepoint. Yeah. Even I know that and I'm clearly not adept at any of it. That's adorable. Okay, so basically there are these beautiful little,

you can kind of needlepoint these little, they look like pouches, like zippered pouches. They are pouches, yeah. And they say things like princess cruises But they're pretty they have like butterflies and a sunset and that's a really fun idea I'm actually like I take it all back. I'm very into that Someone also shared another kit that they got but they were sad that it didn't have any branding on it Which makes sense like like it was just like a bird. If it's a memento. Yeah, then it would be then you know

I mean you can probably try and put that in the back yourself. Oh and uh, like, like it was just like a bird. Yeah, it feels like if it's a memento. Yeah, then it would be, then you'd know where you got it from. I mean, you can probably try and put that in the back yourself. Oh, and that's actually the person who did the Regent one said that underneath they put seven seas cruises and that wasn't supposed to be there. Oh, cool, so they added that. They added that themselves.

So that's kind of fun. Wow. Yeah. Man, I mean, imagine being on a ship and trying to learn how to do crochet, or needlepoint, you don't even have a fucking YouTube video. I mean, now you would, but like back, back like 20 years ago or whatever,

I just imagine like the wifi, it like buffers and you're getting like two minutes and you just want to keep watching the same clip cause you're like, what's a magic circle? I think all the old people would just talk to each other. I think they would just have to teach me in person. Back in the day when people would just communicate. But no, a lot of people did say they loved going to,

like, it was a great thing to start conversation on the cruises. That's adorable. They would bring whatever project, either this or whatever they were working on and sit in like the public areas and doing their project. And other people with projects

would also stop by and stuff. So so sounded very cute. Let's do that What? What part of that? I'm not going on a cruise Well, that would be the first step. Yeah, I'm trying to get me up to go on a cruise. I can't stop. Okay, you should stop I know that Uxener. I'm not denying that it's just that I can. Okay. This is the last thing I have. This is from Sarah And it is a Wubles collab with BTS not me choose the auntie but the band. Less nice. Less nice. This is Chimmy Can you open my notes and see what the finished product is supposed to look like of Chimmy?

Chimmy is so cute. Yeah, he's like a little dog derpy dog with his little pung out. kind of looks like a bumblebee. It's like a bumblebee. Dressed as a bumblebee. It is. So here's what it says, well yellow there Chimmy, it sure is nice to meet you. We can't help but be chimpressed with this universe star and here's why with that signature yellow hoodie. That's a hoodie apparently. Oh okay. And adorable tongue, Chimmy is passionate, pure at heart, and a hoodie, hoodie life, oh my God, hoodie lightfully hard worker. That hoodie, oh, D life, hoodie lightfully. Okay, forget it. Wow, that was something.

This is how I'm starting to feel the way those instructions, those constructions made me feel. I better move on. This is a one star review. And after I read it, I'll have you look at the picture. So the title is bruh and the review says bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh. Now please just open the picture. Oh no oh no Chimmy. Chimmy. Chimmy, what did they do? Also, get those fucking dogs out of here. Why is this person's feet like...

Yeah, this is definitely one where we'll have to zoom in or... I can't. I think the feet. The feet are weird, but it is just kind of dead on the floor in between his hands. It's like a pancake. It's like a Chimmy pancake. Melted pan, like a cartoon character under an anvil is what chimmy looks like right now.

Yes, flattened like a pancake. And like certainly doesn't look like a dog or, I mean, sort of a bumblebee, but like a really defective bumblebee. Yeah. I mean, there's string coming out of his head. Defective is right. Talk about like having to put it out of its misery

You know yeah, I did not like that. I do not like what happened to that Chimmy Sorry, and then it had feet I'm sorry yeah, and this it's it's planted between the person's feet the person is taking a photo down between their own feet Oh, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. It is awful. It is the worst okay. I'm done with my notes I'm good good get him. I'm closing them. Good. Get them out of here. Before we get to the challenge, it's time for a voicemail from a listener. Yay! Somebody else can talk for once. This one is from Liz. Are you ready?

I'm ready. Hi, my name is Liz. I work at a pet store. What? I was like, I name is Liz. I work at a pet store and I'm a dog department. A lady walks up to me and she says, Do you have Ebola? I said, What? Do you have Ebola? Um, no. What? What is it that you're looking for? Ebola. Do you have Ebola? Oh my God. I finally, after a little bit of back and forth, I asked, what is that?

Like, what are you, describe it for me. And she said, she sighed, it's silver. And I thought about it and it clicked. And I said, are you looking for a Bala shark? And she said yes. What? So Bala shark is spelled B-A-L-A and she was clearly pronouncing an O, hence my confusion. So I gave her the fish, sent her on her merry way, and then the next day we got a survey saying that I was very rude. I tried my hardest to be so kind, but she asked me if I had Ebola.

I think she went home and just felt silly and blamed it on me, the retail employee, because you know, what else would you do? But that's just retail for you. Do you have Ebola? Thank you guys, I love your show. You're awesome, thanks. Wow, at this point I'm like, do I have Ebola? If somebody asked me that many times, I'd be like, I mean, maybe.

Should I? Do you? Is my first question, can you back up eight feet? Maybe? Yeah, I don't know what yeah And then when they go, oh, it's a shark and then they're like anyway, so I gave it to her and I'm like wait You had that I thought this is gonna be I did look it up. I'm assuming it's like a Something a pet store would have but it's a fish. Yeah, it's a cutie. It's a cute. It's also known as a Silver something so I'm sorry about, I'm sorry about the, I'm sorry about the bad review or feedback. Yeah, you were exactly right.

They're clearly projecting because they were asking around if everyone had Ebola and must've felt very embarrassed as they should have. So, yeah, oh, I'm sad that they retaliated. Me too. That's what else is new. We're not, I'm sad that they retaliated. Me too. That's right. What else is new? We're not so I'm not surprised though. Time for my challenge.

This is from Allie and it was of a challenge to find bakeries with wrong personalization stuff. So it's the first Beach to Sandy Mandela effect also. At least the first one I've noticed. Write it down people. I'll probably notice a bunch more in the coming weeks. Now that I believe in them, I'm gonna see them everywhere. I hate that. Are you excited? I hate that so much. My first one was sent in by Stephanie, she they, who sent in a review from WeddingWire.com of edible art. What? A place called edible art. Oh, oh, oh. Sorry. Yeah. I assume this is in North Carolina based on the content of the review. This one is amazing. Like so different. Like it's just so good. Here we go. And it's from 2009. This is probably my toughest review to write. Although the cake was delicious and was beautifully

decorated, we did run into a few issues. First and foremost, my husband-to-be is a loyal North Carolina state fan, which means UNC is the worst thing that a state fan could deal with. When we met with Edible Art, we knew which cake flavor we wanted from a bridal show, so the main thing was the design. My girls were wearing a blue-gray dress. The base icing was to be the same color,

more gray than blue. We told them specifically, and it was even written on the order form, that it could not be anything even close to UNC Carolina blue. I even gave them a swatch of fabric for my bridesmaid dresses which was attached to the order form so it could be matched correctly. Imagine our surprise when we walk through the front door of our reception to see a UNC Carolina Blue cake sitting for display. My husband of five minutes about had a heart attack. This was the one thing. I became a widow. I became the world's quickest fucking widow.

Oh no. This was the one thing he was adamant about and was with me when we met with Edible Art to design the cake. He got several ribs from our UNC fam friends at the reception about our Carolina blue cake. The shame of it was the design was beautiful and it was so good but this one specific detail still can get his ire up and was very disappointing. They offered us $75 back on the cake, but we spent over $500 on it. It would have been one thing if we just mentioned in passing, but we were very specific, had it written on the form and provided a fabric swatch, all to ensure it was what we wanted.

The other issue was that the cake arrived late, driving behind our outside ceremony and barely made it into the reception before we walked in the door. Overall, as much as I liked the design and the flavor, I would be hard pressed to recommend them, especially to someone who is particular in details and is spending a small fortune on a wedding. Even if you liked the flavor, I would shop around.

End of review. Jesus. That was fucking crazy. is i mean i hope i just don't even know what i just don't even know i mean i think what happened is one of those things where you said it so many times they're like got it got it don't do that and it was almost like reverse psychology subconsciously like that's my only guess as to like how on earth this could have happened or they're like big unc fans Or that and they wanted to prank you. Huge awful prank.

But every time you buy a wedding cake, it's fucking expensive. So even if it's in a different budget range, it's fucking expensive. So they offered $75 back. Come on, that's rough. I love how there were UNC fans at the wedding. I just think it's so fucking funny. The fact of it, I mean, it's unfortunate.

You know that it became like the story from the wedding, you know, like, which is hilarious because it's like sad if it's sad, but it's also hilarious if you can, hopefully, hopefully by now, hopefully they've had many years of marital bliss and they can laugh it off now. But I imagine it was very disappointing. Especially like if it's his only fucking request. I'm glad he was there though.

Probably because it was his only thing he participated in. Not to me. I don't know. Maybe not. What the fuck, Alexander? I'm sorry. He's a feminist. I'm a feminist. No, not you. Oh, he's a feminist.

You're obviously not. I'm talking about this UNC fan. I'm being a fake feminist. See, I did it. What? What did you do? I called him the UNC fan, he's a feminist. You're obviously not. I'm talking about this UNC fan. I'm being a fake feminist. See, I did it. What? What did you do? I called him the UNC fan, the UNC guy. See?

I think it's like, it's so- Oh, you did it. I think they just mentioned it so- Maybe you're just an asshole, Christian. No, that can't be it. I'm just kidding. I don't think that could be it. I don't think that really tracks for anybody, actually.

I'm sorry. I'm just being a feminist. We might call you that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Don't worry. Well, what I'll say is, I think it's just you just being a feminist when I call you that. Oh Well, what I'll say is I think it's just you've implanted yourself as the UNC people because you hate them so much Or your husband hates him so much. Yeah, you're the UNC guy and it's like, all right, you know, they're like, oh wait That's the UNC guy. It's like You know anyway, yeah, go on

My next one here was from Caitlin She Her, who sent in a review of Piece of Cake Bakery in Portland, Oregon. That's ironic already. And here is, okay, don't look at my notes yet, but it'll be the first cake picture you You see my eyes went straight to your notes. It's like you tell somebody not to do something in your brain goes, do what? Oh, yeah.

It's only jerk like assholes do that. You're right. All right. So I'm trying to trap me in a weird, like backwards insult. Like, look, when someone tells me don't look now, someone's behind you. I know people look, I don't look. No, no, I don't look. No, no, I don't either.

It's so easy not to look, just respect that they're telling you not to look. I mean, it's also easy to look at a piece of fabric in front of you and go, okay, I'll try to make it that color. But I mean, maybe they're colorblind, I don't know. I think I'm just trying to find some sort of rationale. Doing the customizations for a wedding cake. No, you're right.

That's over $500. I don't know why I'm victim blaming this poor person. I don't know either. I think I was on her side for a minute. And then I was like, I better defend the other side too. You were so on her side that you got confused. They were kind of rolled around just like everything else. And then I realized I started calling them the UNC couple.

And I said, I've gotten way too close to this case. And I had to, that's off. It's still legal proceedings 16 years later. Yeah, somehow I got involved. Here's a one-star review. I paid $200 for this naked cake. I knew what I asked for wouldn't come out exactly like that picture I showed them,

but how exactly did $200 go into this cake? Is it made of gold? This was the biggest disappointment of my birthday It just looks like two unfinished cakes stacked on top of each other not only that but the rosemary She said that grew outside of the bakery would be perfect on my cake I went into the store to pick up my cake assuming she would have put it on the cake wrong I had to go outside and snip off pieces of rosemary because I had no other choice That's fucking great.

That's great. Decorate your own cake at my bakery, yeah. I respect that so much though, that they like actually went and just did that. When I saw my cake, I was in shock. I had three hours until my birthday party and decided to improvise and get my own cake decorations. I wish I had hung up the phone,

just bought cupcakes from the place down the street from my house. I was so upset that no time or care was put into my cake. Would it have killed them to add even the rosemary themselves? So disappointing. Wish I could get my money back. End of review. Now please look at this picture of these cakes. I will say I thought naked cake at first like, oh, it's supposed to look like boobs or something. And I realized they meant naked like a frosting. Yeah, so it's like the outside isn't frosted the raw edges Yeah, it's raw. It's a raw cake. See some egg yolk in there. Which picture?

the first What in the No, like they're not wrong like yeah, it looks like two unfinished cakes and the- It looks like really deranged. It looks like- They didn't like cut it properly. I don't think they had any clue what you were talking about. Yeah.

I think they thought, oh, you want a cake that's not frosted. We're just gonna like- So then you can frost it yourself? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But they gave that picture and that picture is like nice. I love what they took from the picture was, oh look, there's Rosemary. We have that outside.

Yeah. In the picture there's Rosemary on the cake. It's not going to go on your cake, but we have it outside. Yeah. And also a lot of other plants. And I'm like, I hope they didn't just make you go pick a bunch of plants. Like I don't love that. Cause it's like, what are you, what are we picking? I don't know. What if it's poison? That's so silly. Oh my gosh.

This cake is with the gold thing. It's not great. It's actually like, it looks like when I tried to make a cake for M that lumberjack cake, but like before it fell, like before it fell into a million pieces, like it looks like an unfinished cake. It looks like an unfinished cake, exactly. My next one here is from Jill Sheher, who said, I love this challenge because it happened

to one of my friends. Instead of happy birthday, Chris, the bakery wrote happy birthday, Christ, which we all found very entertaining. That's good. We still ate the cake. See, that's fun. That's a fun one. When you said the wedding cake, I was like I hadn't even thought of wedding cakes. I'd only

thought of birthday cakes and like weddings are so much more high stakes. Yeah. Mostly. Yeah, mostly. So this is a one-star review of a place called Baker Wee in Phoenix, Arizona. Baker Wee? Baker Wee. Baker W- or Baker's- Baker Space W-E-E. Baker Wee. That's really strange. I think it's so funny. I was thinking like, we you, like we, like the we bakery.

I don't know. And then I was like. WEE, which is. Doesn't like help, I guess. Yeah. Baker we. Baker we, okay, sure. I love it for some reason.

Okay, here's a one star review. I can't believe this place. I went to pick up a cake on Sunday for my daughter's third birthday. We asked for a Batman symbol to cover the whole cake and to put happy third birthday, Kaylee. They were supposed to put sparkles into the buttercream. One, the sparkles looked like an afterthought and they just threw some on after the fact. Two, the Batman symbol was so amateur and small it looked like my three-year-old made it. Three, they spelled my daughter's name wrong.

Oh. When we told them how disappointed we were in the cake, they told us that no one could help because there was no baker on site. Not even one of the- There was just a three-year-old drawing all the frosting in the back. Yeah. Not even one of the two people behind the counter can fix the name. We had to take the cake to her party as is. This poor three-year-old, I hope she can't read yet.

Do you know how embarrassing it is to take a cake that's misspelled to your own daughter's birthday and have everyone say to you, did you know her name is wrong? Jesus, that's so mortifying. Yes, Sharon, yes, I know. Thank you for telling me again. We have been trying to get a hold of a manager since Sunday.

Today is Wednesday and they finally called saying they will refund us $25 of the $100 cake. Are you kidding me? I'm a great baker and the only reason I did a professional bakery was to get the perfect design and they ruined it. This cake wasn't worth $100 nor was it even worth a seventy five. Have a five year old make a cake for you. It will look better than this. End of review and you can scroll down. Oh, I'm so excited. So Kaylee is supposed to be spelled K-A-I-L-E-A. K-A-I-L-E-A. Okay. And they spell it K-A-I-E-L-A. Oh gosh.

K-A-I-E-L-K. Oh gosh. That's rough times. You really got to just, and you know what the problem is too? It's written on the plate or whatever, or whatever that is. So you can't even just cut part of it. You can't cut into the name. It'll be there the whole time.

It's just going to say her name wrong for the whole party Yeah, which sucks They were not wrong about the sparkles that are just like Sprinkled a little bit on the cake. I will say like I probably couldn't do well. No with a stencil. I could do that actually It's really it's not that it's rough. It's not great. It's pretty rough, especially for how much was it? $100 $100 It's not that it's rough. It's not great. It's pretty rough, especially for how much was it? A hundred dollars a hundred dollars um, and I for a moment thought this was like uh, like kind of a grocery store bakery, but this is like a Like a standalone bakery and there was nobody in the store right to like help. Okay, because that made it

For a second. I was like this must be like a ralph's or like a croaker, you know, and it's like no No, no, don't you remember? It's from baker.e. Yeah, of course I remember. I should have known. I should have known, I apologize. Wow. You know what this reminds me of? Do you remember that meme that would go around? And then of course I forgot about it by the time I had my child and named her Leona.

But there was, and so then people started tagging me in it again, but there was this meme of this Lion King birthday where the girl like wanted the lion the scene from lion king where the dad dies or whatever or something like that and it's like the trampled lion on it it says happy birthday leona and every time i get tagged and i'm like one of these days like for maybe for 18th maybe i'll bug her about it enough that someday it'll be funny to her i think now now it would be like, why is the lion sleeping? But, um...

Yeah, give her some time. I feel like it won't be too long. Yeah, yeah. So, uh, that's what this challenge reminds me of. And it really is like pretty epic because, you know, Leona does love lions. And I'm like, one of these days it's gonna, uh, it's gonna become a meme, I'm sure. Anyway. Uh, I've got one more for us and this was sent in by

Stephanie she they this is a five star review a redemption this is a more ready bakery on Staten Island New York the saga of the wrong named birthday cake no as my daughter's birthday is on Christmas Day the family is always looking for a special birthday cake for our double celebration. Chris, and then you could just have a double cake. I'm serious. You just like put a T in beginning. Oh, that's a cross, not a, you just like,

you just like close one eye and it just says Chris. That's true. You could do that. You could line it up. I should name my next child Chris and have it be born on December 25th Perfect plan good plan. Christian. I can't wait for you. I Thank you. I might not

Be I might not allow myself to be an uncle to that child. Oh, here we go Just for personal reasons, but oh really Leona's still cool with me. This says my niece turned three today She asked for a lion king cake But specifically the moment where mufasa dies because quote everyone will be too sad to eat the cake and it will be all for me and It says leona is three and it's literally just a dead Bottom of the cake and then like Simba looking over the edge of the cake down at his dead dad So anyway people are constantly

And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know one of these days my child will become disturbing and have Right now I love that they executed her vision perfectly though. Whoever made this Okay Okay, sorry go on As my daughter's birthday is on Christmas day, the family is always looking for a special birthday cake for our double celebration. As her name is not common,

yet close in spelling to a very common name, I take great care in making sure the name is correctly spelled on the cake. The pick-up date was Christmas Eve. The shop was hopping. The cake was in their fridge ready for pick-up. In the holiday rush, I did not look at it before it was packaged and handed to me. On the appointed day and time,

the cake was de-boxed, candled, and presented. Only then was it discovered that her name was misspelled. We took a photo and ate the cake. No one wants to waste a well-made carrot cake. I returned to the bakery with my receipt in hand to let them know of the error, not expecting anything. To my surprise, the owner refunded the price of the cake. Talk about good customer service. This was above and beyond my expectations. Thank you, Moretti's Bakery for your customer care. Well done. End of review. I hope they spelled Moretti's wrong just for like one last little punch, you know? A little dig, yeah. And this was written December 30th of 2023. So I really like, I forgot we were in a redemption and I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh, like you ate the, they're going to

say, well, you ate it. So you can't have your money back or something. But yeah, what a lovely, uh, turn turn of events. I know. And like, it's funny, like a lot of the other ones, like, I was kind of like, yeah, like that sucks. And it's shitty that they didn't give you more money back if they've really fucked it up that bad and did the literal opposite of what you asked for. It feels like that's a pretty easy situation, but you know, yeah. But anyway, this was nice to see someone who like was just so kind about it. I love it. And it's like, uh uh the daughter's just at home sobbing to herself that her birthday cake birthday was ruined again was overshadowed by Christ

again like every year Christ every year gets all the attention and Christa sits and lay there and just be sad and her mom's like it's fine we're not really worried about her cake anyway it's more about Jesus for us you're projecting all over this episode. I am? Christine. I haven't noticed. I haven't noticed.

You mean you haven't been noticed your whole life. Yeah, that is what I meant. On that note, do you want to wrap up and watch Naughty episode two? I don't. Thank you so much for asking. If you would like to watch us watch that and watch the saga, the continuation of whatever is about to honestly,

the most like unhinged storytelling I've ever witnessed. And that's coming from this podcast and podcast. I just got to let everyone know this next one's called Naughty and the Goblins. So, you know, it's going to be. All right. This is already a bad idea. But if you want to somehow involve yourself at patreon.com. If you want to submit reviews or see the upcoming themes and challenges, you can go there as well.

Or if you want to see this on video for some reason. Yeah. It'll probably be up in like within the next week from this episode being released. Fantastic. Well, it's about to happen to me right now. So I want everyone to remember that as they listen. Don't forget. Fantastic. Well it's about to happen to me right now so I want everyone to remember that as they listen. B. Don't forget.

C.F. Okay, have a good one! B. Bye! C.F. Bye! you