Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 37: Dollar Stores in Birmingham, AL
Episode Date: August 7, 2019Hello sweet children of a friend of ours, we hope you're having the BDE. Unfortunately ours is the WDE, because our Hot Bunz aren't working and Christine won't let Alex sell his Ten Renaissance Painti...ngs. While we figure this mess out, please enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Otherwise, bad karma is going to happen to you. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy to fulfill our dream of chatting with you live on video. Or check out our new merch designs in our online store at shop.spreadshirt.com/beachtoosandy. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.
need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast,
but I'd give it zero stars if I could. You start it this time. I always start it.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Welcome to Beach 2 Sandy Water 2 Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion.
My name is Alex.
I'm Christine.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, I have a little bit of an announcement for you all.
There's new merch. It's very exciting. Got bit of an announcement for you all there's new merch it's very exciting
got a couple new designs for you one goes is a quite the throwback um it's a baron of cream
reference that says baron of cream for the og listeners yeah all you og folk and then for the ones who started recently
um i thought hmm what episode made me really really upset recently what's the worst thing
christine has done on the show um and it was screeching eek at me during all the cruise ship
reviews everyone loved that so now we have merchandise that has a cruise ship with smoke coming out of
the top that says eek well don't give it all away they have to go look it up ignore what i said it's
not what it looks like go google it it's really cool um actually don't google it go to the website
why don't you go to our straight to our shop it's shop.spreadshirt.com slash beach to sandy coolio cool all right uh this week's theme do we have any
other announcements i don't think so okay thank you to everybody by the way who has submitted a
five-star review because that has like really amped us up in the ratings and it's very exciting
and we're nearing a thousand reviews so yeah woo. Woo-hoo! Thank you. Thank you very much. It means a lot to us, and it's really helping us out.
Super exciting. That means a lot.
It's really helping us out.
And we've got some exciting things planned because of it.
Cool. So this week's theme was dollar stores in Birmingham, Alabama.
Sure was.
And then you gave me a challenge.
Yes, and your challenge was to find a one-star review of a dollar store
where they complain about how high the prices are. This is our
first fully-themed episode
where it's the same location. It was actually, I think it made my
well, it was a little confusing, because I didn't sometimes know where to put one or the other.
Oh, okay, yeah. Because you were like, hmm, I could use this for the challenge, but I also need
more for the regular one.
Yeah, so we're good.
Yeah, I guess at the end we'll see if we want to ever do this again.
We'll see.
We'll let you guys decide.
Yeah, okay.
So why don't I start with a review of A Dollar Tree in Birmingham?
Perfect.
This is a one-star review from Kelsey.
Everything is only a dollar end of review but that's a one star one star of a dollar tree maybe she want i meant everything's only once
she needed to keep in with a theme true one star for one dollar one star for one dollar
all ones but then i got curious about kelsey obviously
what are kelsey's standards what does it take must be very high what does it take to get a
five-star review well everyone i think i found out what i have a five-star review
of chick-fil-a in pelham alabama okay five stars i eat here end of review
stop what is she doing
is she trying to get like the elite status but like just by doing really short reviews guess how many reviews kelsey has written how many
two no are you serious those are only two reviews i love it oh my god yeah maybe it all depends on
her mood that day that's truly the most ridiculous thing's something so weird about that one.
Okay. Does Kelsey have a profile picture?
It looks like a child, so.
Seriously? Oh, well that would explain a whole lot.
But I don't have my glasses on, so I can't really tell.
Well, I would like to think that would explain this behavior.
Let's hope there's an excuse i have a review by crystal um and it's a one-star review of a dollar general
oh i wanted to also add that i uh yelp was limited on the reviews so i kind of
went a little bit outside of Birmingham and did some other Alabama
towns. We love our Alabama towns. So there's Montgomery and Auburn are both in here as well.
Crystal gave Dollar General one star. I went into Dollar General on a Saturday about a month and a
half ago with my sister. While there I spent around $65. Within a few days, I decided to try two of the
products I bought. One was a device called Hot Buns with a Z. Obviously with a Z. I heard it
the way you said it. It's supposed to make the perfect bun, but it didn't work. Huge piece of
junk. It just sheds on your sink and doesn't snap closed ew it sheds i yeah i don't know what that means it sounds foul plastic shedding plastic i don't
know if it sheds the bun you know i don't want to know i don't get it uh yeah why make the why Yeah, why? Make the... What have we done? Like the hot tub bun? Or like a hot cross bun?
Those are the only types of buns I know.
Wait, makes the... Yeah, wait, what are we making?
I don't know.
I'll look up the product real quick.
Yeah, maybe that's a good idea, because...
Hot buns.
Oh my god!
What?
It means like for your hair.
Oh.
Hot buns.
The perfect bun on your head.
So where is it shedding?
On your sink?
Okay, yeah, I pictured a kitchen sink, so I guess it's a bathroom sink.
I guess what they mean is your hair sheds, which I don't think is the problem of the product so much as
your head but well i don't know a dollar store thing i don't think i would put something i bought
from the dollar store onto my head would you put it in your mouth would i put that product in my
mouth no but i put something from a dollar store in my mouth? Sure. But not in your hair.
No.
I'm just saying.
I don't, because dollar stores sell like Skittles.
I don't know, like candy, like normal movie candy.
And hot buns.
I wouldn't, if they sold hot dog buns for a dollar, like I probably wouldn't eat them.
Okay.
I think we need to really focus on Crystal here because she had a tough time. I'm sorry, Crystal.
Let me hear more about your buns.
Buns.
Huge piece of junk that sheds on your sink and doesn't snap closed.
That makes a lot more sense now.
The second item I bought was the Potato Express.
That's seen on TV.
Oh my god.
This person spent $65 at the dollar store so like and so this is unless they
bought 65 of these items they were not they were like more expensive two 65ths of her purchase oh
perhaps she said the the second item of many that she purchased was the potato express
that didn't work either that thing couldn't heat a baby red potato.
The potatoes came out raw.
I took them back to the store.
I walked in and the clerk was standing there and said, can I help you?
No.
I told her my saga.
And she said, okay, I need your receipt.
Unfortunately, I had misplaced it.
She said, well, we do not take items without a receipt end of review that is a very standard policy crystal i like that she herself
calls it a saga which it is indeed a saga and i'm glad she's self-aware enough to know that yes yes
oh i can just picture her with the thing like wrapped in her hair, all askew, and then her potatoes.
She's trying to eat the potato with a fork and knife, and it's just raw.
Oh my god.
It's so sad.
Potato Express.
I'm going to look that up.
But that's one of those one-star reviews.
It just makes me upset.
Like, what?
Oh, this is cool.
As seen on TV is right i told you potato express
perfect potatoes in just four minutes cooks all types of potatoes white red yams and more
delicious steamy perfect results washable and reusable they do promise red potatoes insert
potatoes microwave perfect results wait you so you stick it in there and then put it in the microwave correct
it's a little bag it's a little pouch so maybe she needed to put the thing in the microwave longer
just you just put it in there waited it's just a pouch it's a literal red bag with like a little
velcro you just put it in there it says why don't you just put it in a thing of like tupperware i
don't know i think you're gonna really feel silly when you hear that this includes...
No.
Salt.
The Potato Express Gourmet Recipe Guide.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh my god, you can on Etsy buy handmade Potato Express pouches.
Just use a pouch.
Isn't that a thing like just get a pouch
microwavable potato cooker what's special about this pouch how's dinner okay i'm sorry everything
oh god i'm so happy okay maybe i should delete all of this what i just said so that when they
want to sponsor us inevitably like there aren't any negative comments. You're going to really get us in big trouble.
Uh-oh, I'm in trouble.
Okay.
You just have to pay $6.99 shipping and handling.
How exciting.
It holds up to four large potatoes.
Okay, that's a larger pouch than I was picturing.
Right?
And it includes one free bonus Super Slicer.
Well.
Ah, man, this is great. i need to go to the dollar store
okay yeah you go ahead i'm gonna continue reading these please do i'll see you later bye
my next one is of a dollar tree written by kevin one star always like family end of review
there was a surprising amount.
Wait, one star?
Yes.
Oh!
I know, I was waiting for that to sink in there. I was, like, very happy for a minute.
Yeah.
Because there were a lot of positive reviews.
Oh, yeah.
People were very friendly, which was great.
I started looking through those because I was struggling to find one stars, but...
Some of them were really nice, but this is...
I think these are just people who don't...
Your last two were, like, things that don't add up to one star.
Exactly.
I don't, there's a lot to unpack here with Kevin's review.
This is true.
So, it could have deeper meaning.
Like maybe Kevin and his family don't really get along.
Yeah, that's what I, I think that's as deep as it goes unless unless kevin
kevin's last name is tree oh the tree family you're right who own obviously own dollar tree
oh crap and so he sees a dysfunction in his family. And because his family owns Dollar Tree.
This business has torn us apart.
Yes.
And it reflects itself upon every location he visits.
Dad, I don't want to inherit the business.
He goes into one.
He was like, it's always like family.
I want to become a lawyer.
Yeah.
And they say, no, you're a tree.
Kevin Tree.
Kevin Tree.
You listen to me.
Wow.
This is your destiny. Please don't flee. You must. Kevin Tree. You listen to me. Wow. This is your destiny.
Please don't flee.
You must inherit the mantle.
What rhymes with mantle?
Okay, oh.
Or our family will be dismantled.
Okay, we'll work on that.
Okay.
Jim gave the Dollar General one star.
We'll never shop here again.
Owner wouldn't let us try on a pair of baseball pants for sizing for a team order.
I told her I needed to see how the pants fit for a team order.
She refused to let my son try them on.
Little did she know, but we were going to buy $3,500 worth of equipment from them.
She thought I was trying to save a few bucks and order them online.
Not the best way to treat people.
No reason to drive across town just to be treated like this.
WDE.
End of review.
I had some things to say, but then you said WDE, and that threw me for a loop.
Worst day ever!
That means nothing to me
it does now wow it means a lot to jim apparently um what does dollar general do that
do what whatever he just said i don't know allow you to spend 3500 on baseball equipment for a
baseball team i don't know.
And by the way, he said she just assumed we were going to buy it all online.
I'm thinking that's what he was actually going to do.
Well, I mean, yeah.
Does he expect this one store to be able to fill his order?
Do they have that many baseball pants?
I somehow doubt it.
And also, if they're a dollar, gonna he has a very big baseball team hopefully jim found what he was looking for online i think jim's gonna
be seeking what he's looking for for the rest of his life whoa jesus wd wde
okay i have a review of a dollar tree by dorothy two stars
bad experience the store had no bags for your purchase items to be put in
they used garbage bags shame and a repeat this was a thing at this store really that they just
gave out at least five other reviews mentioned
that they had to use they were given garbage bags instead of regular bags like just trash yeah
that's like do you think they just went over to the shelf like all i do a box and was like oh i
guess we'll use these for i hope they were the febreze scentedcented ones. Oh, Jesus. Oh, man. That sentence. Hey, those are very strong.
I mean, if you, I mean, maybe not.
You go home, look, you go home with your garbage bag, take out the stuff, and then put it in your trash can.
Yeah.
Like, you get a free garbage bag out of it.
I don't really understand the complaint here.
No, me neither.
Also, if you're going to buy $3,000 worth of equipment, you're going to need bigger than a shopping bag.
Just saying.
Yeah.
Okay.
Shirley gave Dollar General one star.
I was very disappointed with service on September 16th, 2018.
Love it.
The cashier did not greet the customers.
I have never in my life had this type of experience before.
So disappointed.
What?
That's it?
Yeah.
Talk about standards.
Jesus.
I wonder if she went to Chick-fil-A.
Because they do greet their customers.
It's part of their work policy.
Oh, yeah. That's a scary thing what are the dutch bros what's oh god what's the thing they say my pleasure they're not allowed to
say yeah you're welcome yeah they say my pleasure because uh you're not everyone's welcome at chick
fil a no um wow could you imagine being so upset about someone at a dollar store not
greeting you she's gonna have heart issues if she keeps this up because
i mean i'm gonna have a heart issue hearing these people complain
shirley shirley shirley shirley yeah shirle can i call you that i want i want you to i have a
feeling she wouldn't approve of that either no you're gonna send her to her grave an early grave
okay an early grave for shirley my new children's book can we move on from shirley yes
oh thank god my next review is written by james of a dollar tree i think mine are all dollar trees
three stars i kind of lost track of what is which is which at this point like i don't know i stopped
writing them down i know i checked more than dollar trees but i somehow only got dollar
trees it's not important okay it's not your fault dollar tree here's a three-star review by james i love the dollar tree really i do only this particular store always has some kind of issue
i know it's not just me i mean four years ago the roof blew off the place
it's not just me the roof itself didn't even want to be there. Even they didn't.
What the fuck?
I should have seen the signs.
At any rate, on my recent trip here,
I was forced to leave the store
and go to an ATM to get cash
because their credit card machine
would not accept my card.
Give me a break.
This is 2016.
Who uses cash anyway?
Dollar tree my foot. Problem tree is more suitable end of review problem tree i think that's what kevin was thinking too that's a slang going around the
streets oh my god the freaking building exploded and he was like i should have seen the signs
the warnings were there written on the wall
well the roof it's like people who review who there are so many reviews of one of the dollar
trees it was like this place gets robbed all the time one star like then don't go if you have that
problem and it's not even their employees fault god unless the employees are the ones robbing it
could be actually well there was one review i read where the person said they went out to their car realized the 20
dollar bill felt weird and then they looked at it was counterfeit and they accused the cashier of
like exchanging a fake 20 dollar bill um i don't know what happened with that but
they threatened to call the police and i was like, I mean, yeah, actually this is one of the few times where that's probably warranted.
That's probably smart.
Um, okay.
Now you're going to be dis,
you're going to be dismayed by what Lydia has to say.
Oh, not Lydia.
I know Lydia.
Let's just say she's changing the world one review at a time.
This is a review of, oh, the 99 cent store.
Lydia says, one star.
I recently shopped at my neighborhood 99 cent store,
and while in line to pay, I watched a little girl of about eight or nine years of age
pick up some fuzzy handcuffs.
And I couldn't wait to go home
and tell the entire internet about it.
I was videoing it,
videotaping it for Vine.
She ran over to our
mom to see if she could buy them.
We as a society
are...
No, I hate where this is going. I know, it's so stupid. We as a society are so desensitized that we don't think anything of these types of toys anymore.
It deeply saddened me to see that this innocent young girl, who didn't know she was holding a sex toy in her hand...
I hate this.
sex toy in her hand i hate this this is so much more uncomfortable than the actual situation she's describing who didn't know she was holding his sex toy in her hand thought of it as just a
fun toy which like so great that's perfect a little girl should think of it as just a fun toy
if a little girl knows is thinking of this as a sex toy.
Little girl, little girl, don't you know what you have?
It's a sex toy.
Don't you know what this is used for?
Let me describe it to you.
Let me show you what mom and dad use that for.
I mean, like, what?
If an eight-year-old knew what it was, that would be much more disturbing.
What does this have to do with being desensitized?
I don't understand.
Like, we should be sensitive to this and be, like, really upset and, like. upset and like yeah you should be why i think we should go the opposite way you'll find out
it deeply saddened me to see that this innocent young girl who didn't know she was holding a sex
toy in her hand thought of it as just a fun toy i was with my husband so as he stayed in line i
walked over to the display which is right in the front of the cashier so as he stayed in line, I walked over to the display,
which is right in the front of the cashier station as you walk in, along with some cute
Valentine decor. I asked an employee about it, if possibly they had made a mistake by putting it out
on display that way. She said it was on their map of merchandise to stock right there in the general view. Wow! End of review.
We're desensitized because we put it on display at the front of the store with the Valentine merchandise.
I fail to see the problem.
In case you don't understand Lydia's point of view. I don't. Okay.
Me neither. And presumably this is a much
higher up decision than the cashier she's bothering i mean
if the mom doesn't give a crap if her daughter i mean it's not her place your goddamn business
first of all it's not her place at all second of all maybe you have a dirty mind lydia what if
that's just a kid's toy i had a um i had a set of handcuffs as a toy when I was little.
Right.
I had to get some lube and get my hand out of there at one point.
Alex and I were like, stop it.
It's true.
I got stuck.
No, it didn't.
Are you serious?
I was going over to Logan's house.
Oh my god.
And I put the handcuffs on myself in the car.
And then I realized I didn't have the key they're like plastic they were
plastic like from like a police officer set or something and like i had a doctor set and you had
a police set and they were so then i realized i didn't have the key so we managed i managed to
squeeze one of my hands out because i hadn't tightened it too much but the other one was stuck so we had to
like so I ended up breaking off the chain and just walked around with like how old were you
old enough oh too old yes okay I was not little oh oh well I was like in middle school oh god okay
yeah you were not an innocent child you were just an annoying child yes um i mean to be fair like i had a one of those doctors push cart kits thingies and it came with
like a fake syringe and i find that a little more disturbing to give a child a fake syringe but it
had like a spring action it did and i would syringe everything in the house like a psycho i would walk
around and give shots to everything nothing wrong with that yeah sounds fun to me maybe they'll start selling syringes at dollar tree
for children just saying giving away all of our good ideas yeah speaking of new merch tmtm
we've got some syringes on on our store some sandy syringes oh yeah what i don't know okay your turn okay
my next one is of a dollar tree three stars written by albert
i think they were doing the best they could the cashier that checked me out
looked and acted very tired end of review. Oh, come on.
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
At least it's three stars.
It's like, they're doing the best they can.
I know.
It's like, I guess they at least had a little bit of humanity.
Yeah.
But some of them were very much like, they were like, accusing the people of bad service, the employees.
And then they were like, anyway, this is just a minimum wage job you
have and it's like wait so then don't you understand why like it's just like a twisted
argument to be like you don't even make any money at this job yet you need to treat me
like the princess i am yeah they're definitely not getting paid enough to deal with these people
i don't think anyone does the problem with this review is this very general and there's nothing like nothing happened in this it's just a sad
review about them doing the best they can reminds me of a friend i had still three stars what was
her name who's the first reviewer kelsey reminds me of a friend i had named kelsey who she went
sometimes to places. Oh yeah? Yep.
Do you want to do Chick-fil-A?
End of story.
She ate at Chick-fil-A. End of story.
I ate there.
I ate there.
Okay.
This is my
last one star review.
It's by Rosanna. Oh, oh i'm dumb i just realized something
what the review by albert was actually four stars oh so he's a little more empathetic than we thought
yeah sorry albert albert we painted you in a bad light you know you no longer remind me of my
friend kelsey yeah you and kelsey different pages
different pages different life stories rosanna gave dollar tree one star
i went to purchase one pack of cigarettes and the employee said she needed to see my id
so i says it's 102 temp outside and my dog is waiting on me. So I asked her to please
use her judgment this once because I do not look young. I have gray hair and I'm 36. I simply left
my ID in my purse with my dog. So manager comes and says they are not losing their jobs over me.
So I got back outside in 102 Temp, grab my wallet and go back in then she says i have to wait i said no
i'm not waiting so she rang up the other customers and i said bad karma is going to happen to you
and if there's one person here that deserves bad karma it's that moment don't put your dog in your
car if it's 102 it takes minutes less than how can
you possibly write that review and sit there and think i'm in the right here my dog is waiting for
me in a 102 degree car i left it in my purse so it is that poor dog in fact she insisted that we
recognize how hot it is yeah it's terrible it's really bad that's sickening don't leave your dog
in your car i don't do that i don't care if it's not 102 cars heat up fast yeah they do and dogs
die no no they don't i mean they don't actually die but thank goodness
just in case oh jesus okay um i have a five-star review now oh great a redemption a redemption
from betty
they didn't have what i wanted so i put the basket down and walked out
i wanted some spicy chicken finger.
End of review.
What?
That's how you write a five-star review, if you ask me.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
I mean, you're right.
It's not negative, but it clarifies to the reader that they don't have,
in case you're looking for spicy chicken finger, don't have it they're not shaming the store
they're being they're being helpful an asset to society if you ask me now i know where not to look
for my spicy chicken finger wow good on you what's her name betty good on you. What's her name? Betty. Good on you, Betty.
Well, I have a five-star review from Nancy.
Oh.
It's a five-star review of the Dollar Tree.
Yeah, you're right.
We really didn't stray far from the, get it?
The apple doesn't stray far from the Dollar Tree.
From the problem tree.
From the problem tree.
I do get it.
The cashier, Debra, was, oh wait, sorry.
Did I tell you this is five stars?
Yes. I did.
Okay.
Redemption.
Redeem me.
Nancy gave the Dollar Tree five stars.
The cashier, Debra, was very friendly and very nice and very attending.
She is the cashier.
She waited on customers.
Kudos to her.
End of review.
I love that. That made me so happy. She is the her. End of review. I love that.
That made me so happy.
She is the cashier.
She is.
She is the cashier.
Yep.
Trademark.
And she waited on customers.
Kudos to her.
Sounds like a movie.
The cashier.
The cashier.
All about Debra.
I'd watch that.
Just putting that out there.
Kudos to Debra.
That's what I always say.
Debra's got good karma coming to her.
Bad karma is going to happen to you.
Oof.
Anyway, that's my last one.
Well, I have one more.
Do you?
Another five-star review.
Oh, good, great.
This one is of a Dollar Tree by Sharon.
All caps.
But not enough basket.
Need more.
The review.
Sorry.
Both of my five stars had these caveats.
I'm going to cry.
No spicy chicken finger.
Not enough basket.
You know, these people are providing a service.
We didn't know we needed but live and you learn
you gotta learn to live to live with the with the dollar tree the dollar tree's shortcomings
which seem to be a plenty yeah um kudos kudos to her kudos to kudos to sharon kudos to betty
for good karma is coming at you or to you taking
a problem tree and finding a solution tree beautiful i i do appreciate the five stars
that's what i like the best we love a good five star if these were one star reviews i wouldn't
have read them i'm gonna be honest that's not that interesting but because they were so good about giving five stars i want
to basically have a parade for them that's what we're doing here on this podcast shout it from
the rooftop but not the one at dollar tree because that one blew off true a year or two ago true
so time for the challenge yeah okay we're just gonna still hang out at some dollar store we're not really
going if i hope you guys are really loving the whole dollar store thing we're doing the same
thing but not with my voice so i know that's a little disappointing but um my challenge your
fucking voice gonna be inserted into this anyway so don't worry i'll make sure of it my challenge here was um for her to find
one-star reviews of a dollar store where people complain about how high the prices are
carlos gave dollar city in san diego one star well it not exactly dollar city most of the stuff is over a dollar and change and i'm not
talking about taxes they should call it over a dollar city end of review we need to write a list
of all of the new names that reviewers have given to establishments. God, there are so many good ones.
Skank of America.
Skank.
Oh, well, that was just a whole cycle full of them.
Problem Tree, Over a Dollar City.
I mean, these people should become writers.
They really should.
I guess they are writers.
Yeah.
And then once we have all of these listed out, we can just start our own town with our
own businesses.
Yep.
Yep.
We'll just steal them off the internet.
Perfect.
Uh,
this next one is by Leah.
It's a one-star review of Dollar Tree.
Never opens on time.
And the old woman who works there yelled at a friend's child of mine for
touching things.
How rude.
Some items are okay,
but very expensive.
I bought an item in which it had bugs not pleased
end of review what item it was probably a hot buns
it had lice the shedding was yeah after crystal returned there was some lice in it oh god that's
a that's disgusting could also have been the potato pouch or whatever it's called yeah
yeah um well wait what was the relationship to that child?
I read it out loud and I realized it really didn't.
Didn't sound right.
It didn't link up.
Something about it didn't sound right.
Yelled at a friend's child of mine.
So, it was supposed to be friend of mine's child.
Okay.
Because I'm like, child of mine?
Oh.
A child of mine.
Sweet, sweet child of friend of mine child child of leo's friend um
cool now i have two more okay i'm trying to decide there's one that's like a saga
and then there's one shorter one i'll save the I'll save the saga for last because it's a lot to take in.
Okay.
I need to prepare myself now.
So I'll just read Peter B's review of...
Is that like a character from Harry Potter?
Peter B?
Yep.
It is.
Okay.
A review of the Dollar Tree.
I find picturing them as fantasy characters makes it just so much better.
Because it feels fictional to you?
Yes.
Got it.
So Peter, in his cape, says, one star.
How do you know in my head you have a cape? Oh, sorry.
I think this might be a positive review but one star i think
this was a four star review sorry okay the dog do you need me to count them for you like i can look
at it there's something wrong i didn't write it uh i'm just trying to remember the dollar tree is The Dollar Tree is a store where they sell trees that sprout dollars on them.
What?
The Dollar Tree.
Maybe it is Harry Potter.
Yeah, where are we going with this?
That's about right.
The Dollar Tree is a store where they sell trees that sprout dollars on them.
Well, not exactly.
Oh, thank you for the clarification.
It's a dollar store. I'm sorry. Well, not exactly. Oh, thank you for the clarification. It's a dollar store.
I'm sorry.
Well, not exactly.
It's a dollar store.
If one eats dollar store food, they are a brave soul indeed.
I must point out their ample supply of Rippet energy drinks,
which are the cesspool of soft drinks.
They rock!
The Dollar Tree has the best selection of fake rubber bugs what what is this person buying i think it's very clear alexander do you need me to list
the items again wait that one that last person said they got bugs too but they weren't happy
about it they seem to have been i don't understand these people's standards the dollar tree has the
best selection of fake rubber bugs which come in handy for putting in your boss's desk.
This guy's poor boss.
I know.
He's like, please stop.
Peterby.
My only problem is the prices at the Dollar Tree are way too expensive.
Just kidding.
Oh my god.
End of review.
I don't know what just happened it was a roller coaster i didn't enjoy it you got me he got you so many times it got you good peter b
oh peter b you little prankster you little prankster he's gonna go buy it to that like
fizz whiz shop was this something we mentioned in the podcast or is this no i just okay
because i'm like i thought this about harry potter when fred and george have that shop
but what what happened with us last week where you said fizz whiz i did someone did oh maybe
that's what i'm thinking of it It was like with Rachel or something.
I think Rachel was at once.
Oh, wait, that's what it was.
It wasn't this weekend.
It was there.
It was at dinner with you guys.
That's what it was.
Yeah, we were at dinner.
I said Wizard Whiz or Fizz Wizard Whiz, and everyone was mean to me about it.
That's all.
That's all?
Fizz Whiz?
Yeah, you said it as if everyone listening would know what the hell you're talking about.
I know.
Not even I know what you're talking about.
I was there.
I also don't know what I'm talking about.
It would shock you to learn.
Okay, the next review I have is by George.
Oh, incidentally.
Tell me.
George Weasley.
Stop.
Okay.
I regret bringing up Harry Potter.
I'm sorry.
George says, now this one's, is dark?
This one's rough.
Just buckle up, okay?
Okay.
George gave Family Dollar one star, and this was on Consumer Affairs or Reports.com.
Really?
Yes.
Interesting.
It's not really about, okay, so I had searched for expensive and overpriced and whatever,
and this came up, and it's not technically that the dollar store is too expensive, but
I heard saga, and I'm ready for it.
Yeah, it's worth a read.
I'm ready.
I heard saga and I'm ready for it. Yeah, it's worth a read.
I'm ready.
Since taking Family Dollar Store's sleep aid containing 100% diphenhydramine.
Now I want to explain to you that diphenhydramine is the active ingredient in Benadryl.
Okay.
And it is present in every sleep aid.
I mean, not every sleep aid, but, you know, like Z-Quil and even Tylenol PM and NyQuil and etc.
Since taking Family Dollar Store's sleep aid containing 100% diphenhydramine on and off for several years,
I increased its nightly use because I was getting used to the addictive drug and it stopped working as well.
and it stopped working as well.
Sunrise Hospital, October 28th to the 30th,
kept me under medication in an unconscious state for three days,
creating an extremely expensive bill of $60,000.
I am not sure if this was actually medically necessary,
even though I am 61 years old.
The drug caused seizures, nosebleeds,
and spitting up clots of coagulated blood.
What?
That is not a side effect, by the way, of Benadryl.
Okay.
To be clear.
So I should contact my doctor about those symptoms I was having?
To the Benadryl?
No, yeah. You should keep taking Benadryl.
Oh, okay. I'll just keep taking it.
Diphenhydramine is a dangerous drug and should not be taken by people over their mid-40s.
CVS television commercials also state that it is dangerous.
And I think what they mean is, like, at the end of the commercial of any sort of drug,
they list the drug interactions and risks.
Well, two months of fresh pear juice what well two months of fresh pear juice therapy flushed the drug from the lower extremities of
my body what's going on this all caused the executor of my mother's estate, my sister Debbie, to doubt and instill her
narcissistic temper on me, asking me to leave my father's house because she did not want
to be responsible for me. Now she will not allow me to try to sell our collection of what wait what where are we oh my god
wait this is a dollar store we're writing about here
yeah i looked at the dollar store sleep aid it's like off-brand benedro basically or like off-brand
uh z quote and now she will not allow me to try to sell our collection of
10 renaissance paintings i mean considering what this guy's writing i wouldn't trust him to sell
a fucking like but if you think about it all the people in them are moving around so that's kind of cool stop the fairy potter i regret
it i'm sorry debbie weasley oh my god because she does not trust me in this mental state
also the ambulance attendant caused damage to my right arm while attempting to restrain me
why did you need to be restrained sir because? Because he took some Benadryl.
Obviously. Gets me going, that's true.
Making it difficult to even write my own name.
I believe this dangerous drug should be taken off the market,
or at least labels adhered to the boxes containing this drug.
This company and the pharmaceutical companies that make products containing diphenhydramine
should be sued by anyone who has had these symptoms and been hospitalized,
or by the family if the person then died the fda has been warned and med watch said they'd look into it but nothing has happened the drugs continue to be sold and they do not have
adequate warning labels end of review i don't can i put something out there yeah i know i put a lot of things out there but i want to put something out there? Yeah. I know I put a lot of things out there, but I want to put something out there.
I think there's more to this story.
No.
Than just putting that out there.
Wow.
I'm going to check the estate sales online to find that.
Debbie's like...
Renaissance painting.
Debbie's like, George, this has nothing to do with your Benadryl.
George, stop trying to sell mom's horse paintings on the internet.
They're not from the Renaissance.
And you can't keep telling people that they are.
Also, you're writing a 10 paragraph review on the internet.
Your arm is fine.
I mean.
Also, stop drinking all the pear juice that sounds pretty
good right now it's very expensive even at the dollar store dollar store pear juice to flush
out the dollar store of fresh pear juice therapy i asked blaze earlier i was like hey so
what does fresh pear juice therapy exactly do and he looked at me like
like i was trying to sell our mom's 10 renaissance paintings like that's the kind of look he gave me
you weren't though right we're keeping those keeping those in the family
my god keeping those in the problem tree dollar tree yeah this this is this review was a problem tree
I feel very bad for him I know what's going on it's very sad and scary but I don't have any
understanding of what the hell is going on and I feel a little helpless yeah to be totally honest
but I think that it sounds to me that he's seeking solutions in the wrong places.
Maybe a little bit.
Maybe a little bit.
I mean, and also he admitted that he was increasing the dosage himself, which like, obviously, no, he's not going to win a lawsuit if he says he took the wrong dose.
Yeah, don't put this out there.
It's not going to help.
I mean, like, if there's an actual problem, contact your lawyer, George.
Lawyer?
I mean, George. Sorry. But then actual problem, contact your lawyer, George. Lawyer? I mean, George.
Sorry.
But then going into the estate and everything.
What?
No.
I mean, Debbie kicked him out of the house.
Then there's a lot more going on.
Unless she just needed an excuse.
The drug costs spitting up clots of coagulated blood.
That's not a side effect I found on the internet of diphenhydramine diphenhydramine well
that's the point he wants the labels to say that oh i see so george is so he would be fine with it
as long as they had told him ahead of time it was gonna happen you might spit up all your blood
yeah through your nose and your mouth okay also you might lose inheritance of your mom's paintings, horse paintings.
See, now that is something I'll push for.
That's a warning the FDA needs to...
Warning labels.
Oh, I agree.
Yeah.
I agree.
My sister Debbie, insert, what is it?
Instilled her narcissistic temper on me.
Like, obviously that has nothing to do with your Benadryl.
But it does she asked him to leave
their father's house because she did not want to be responsible for him in this state
like okay debbie is a narcissistic bitch you know what your words not mine according
they're george's words no no he didn't say that you did i'm reading between the lines
let's let's move reading between the lines.
Let's move on from the lines and stop reading them.
All right.
That's all I have. I mean, I know that it was sort of like Dollar Store was not expensive until it was very expensive.
Yes.
I mean, that is a fair...
Very affordable until he lost literally everything.
God.
Except those paintings are still technically...
He still has those paintings.
Technically there for him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hopefully he's doing all right.
Hopefully you're all right, George.
Hopefully they remind him of Mama.
Oh, Lordy.
Okay.
You ready for your theme?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Your theme. We're going to a new state. Oh, yes. Yeah. Your theme.
We're going to a new state.
Oh, gosh.
Okay, I got to write this down.
Your theme for next week is McDonald's in Billings, Montana.
Didn't we already do McDonald's?
Oh, no, we did a challenge with McDonald's.
Billings, Montana.
That's random.
It's the most populous city in Montana.
Is it really?
It is. Oh, yeah. I guess I don't know anything else about Montana. That's random. It's the most populous city in Montana. Is it really? It is.
Oh yeah, I guess I don't know anything else about Montana.
It's not Bozeman. It's not another city.
That's the only other town I know.
Missoula.
Yeah, I guess I know that one too.
Okay, it will come as a massive shock to everyone that I was not prepared with a challenge today.
I always forget to do it in advance.
To the jar.
To the jar we go.
All right, Nurse Kelly and James.
Thank you.
What do you have for me?
Find a negative review in which the reviewer's complaint is largely based upon astrology.
That's a really good one.
Love that.
I'm excited about that.
Libra season's approaching, guys.
That's mine. It mine it is it really is
okay you guys send in more theme and challenge suggestions because i need all the help i can get
mostly challenge ones because themes are easier to come up with yeah themes we i mean we have
used your suggestions in the past and they have some good ones but yeah they're more straightforward
are a lot harder for us to come up with because we're not that clever
we're pretty dumb we kind of just steal your ideas if we can so give us something to steal
if you don't mind and don't miss our episode monday it's our august edition of between you
and us oh yeah that's where we read reviews that you guys have sent in that you've found on the
internet and we're very excited because that's one of our favorite things to do every month can't wait okay thanks everybody for listening thanks for listening we'll be back
we'll be back we'll be back next week Bye.