Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 48: Halloween Stores in Virginia Beach, VA
Episode Date: October 23, 2019WHEN YOU YELL, I YELP! Looking for a nose to pick? You've come to the right place. Turn up the Ziggy Idol, put on your star costume, and join us as we kick off spooky-ooky season with Halloween store...s in Virginia Beach, VA! Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy to fulfill our dream of chatting with you live on video. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, tyops, and RichardCulver. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling,
winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do.
Who wants this last parachute?
I do.
Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio,
exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated.
19 plus and physically located in Ontario.
Gambling problem?
Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit
connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Ooh, French lavender soy blend candle.
I told you HomeSense has good gift options. Hmm. Well, I don't know. Mom's going to love it.
She'll take one sniff and be transported to that anniversary trip you took to San Tropez a few years ago.
Forget it.
She complained about her sunburn the whole trip.
It's only $14.
$14?
Now that's a vacation I can get behind.
Deals so good, everyone approves.
Only at HomeSense.
Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet.
A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.
Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast.
But I'd give it zero stars if I could.
It's the ghost of Yelp i should have gone yelp you should have maybe let's just re-record this we're not off to a great start i've never i wouldn't mind going back i've never doing that
again okay welcome to week one of our spooky spectacular. Yes, and this spooky spectacular takes place in Virginia.
Virginia Beach, to be exact.
We were looking at spooky places in Virginia Beach as in Halloween stores.
Yes.
Whether that be costumes or decor, Asians, etc.
Yep, potpourri. Potp Et cetera. Yep.
Potpourri.
Potpourri.
And my challenge.
Potpourri.
Ooh.
My challenge was to find a review in which the reviewer claims to cast a spell.
I'm very excited about that.
And let me tell you, when you try to search for, I put a a spell on you with yelp you don't get good results for this what do you get you get all about the song oh okay i guess
that makes sense yeah it did make sense so i had to be a little creative but i found a handful so
we'll see how that goes okay okay it's gonna be spookyy. Okay. So the first review I have is of a place called Harry Goals Halloween Planet.
Yep.
I have a review from there too.
Okay.
This is a one star review by Larry.
This place smelled like toxic plastic fumes.
The haunted house sound effects CD they were playing was way too loud and not scary at all.
You can't scare me.
I'm Larry.
I picked up a witch nose to smell it.
Never thought I'd hear that sentence ever.
I picked up a witch nose to smell it and an employee immediately told me not to try it on
i replied that i was just looking for a nose to pick and they didn't laugh at all well that's
because it's not funny i think it's hilarious no i think it's hilarious this is serious business. Okay.
Some of the costume packages were not suitable for youngsters to look at.
Sexy nun?
Naughty accountant?
These costumes need to be kept behind the counter.
Costumes are cooler if you make them out of nothing.
Spend some time with your kids and create some crazy costume that can't be bought don't frequent stores like this so landlords will strive to get year-round tenants that actually
benefit a city how about a musical instrument shop in this location instead good quality guitars and
stuff end of review what that took a turn i think larry is the local like music teacher
at the elementary school or something i don't know really just go there to make that joke was
it the only thing that he was going there for he only leaves his house once a year
to release a pun into the atmosphere that one to be fair to him because of our free radio show uh-huh that pun is traveling much
farther than he would have expected way into the atmosphere it worked this year looking for a nose
to pick and um he might have just gained some new fans okay i mean i'm a fan i've been a fan since
day one i tell you that much you tell you tell me that. You sure do. Oh, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry.
All right.
You're up.
My first one is of Spirit Halloween by Michael.
Okay.
One star.
All caps, by the way.
A very important, important classification.
If there's any punctuation, like an exclamation point, there are at least three used each time.
That includes question marks excellent whatever you don't go to this store good start it's already so bad
okay i'm sorry go ahead whatever you don't go to this store the service is so bad from the store manager she is a young kid still wet behind the eats
this is like larry's nose joke but like so not even remotely on point just can't spell anything
i could not believe it the other staff are great whoever responded to these posts i want to talk
to her boss i will not let these go. This need to be addressed ASAP.
She told me she was drunk at work.
Is this the type of people you employ to run your business?
I have been a business owner for 15 years, and I have never been treated so poorly.
End of review.
What in the hell was that?
Well, that's what i was wondering too so this fellow michael oh this is michael right michael has uh many reviews oh oh excellent and
they're almost all exactly like are they all in capital letters yes caps is stuck on so this is
his review of duncan okay that's in duncan donuts but it just says duncan
they did that right don't you remember that i just haven't really seen it yet it was chaos
i don't know why they still did that okay one star worst place ever charge me for the wrong
order twice no one had a clue what they were doing not Not even the manager. They lost my receipt. OMG, everyone need to be retrained.
I will never go here again.
P.S.
Tell the girl at the drive-thru to pull her pants up.
Pants emoji.
Oh my god.
I'm not kidding.
Wow, he's savvier than I thought.
I know.
Duncan, you guys have to do better.
End of review.
Holy.
I like how he included a pants smudging in case they weren't really sure what.
What kind of pants.
What he was really referring to.
OMG.
OMG, indeed.
Wet behind the eats.
Wet behind the eats.
I can't handle this guy at all.
No, I like Michael.
That's why I wanted to share a little bit of
extra uh something extra with you all michael's been a store owner for 15 years never been treated
so badly and yet every place he goes to he says this is the worst he's treated pretty fucking
badly yes listen he's dry behind the ears eats at point. Oh my God. I know. It's so flaky and dry.
Stop it.
I'm just trying to paint a picture.
Okay.
We've learned not to do that, in case you don't recall.
I should know better.
Yeah.
Okay, is that all that we have to...
I mean, I know that...
Yeah, no, I'm done with Michael.
That wasn't...
I'm over it.
This is a review of Party City.
It's a one-star review by Maria.
My fiance and I went to Party City to buy Halloween
costumes. I wound up getting a white afro wig that's supposed to light up. How cool is that,
I thought to myself. I also had to buy a wig cap and a set of fake eyelashes.
I'm at this point trying to figure out what the hell is the costume. I kind of like this person.
I don't know if they're that excited by this light up afro wig, I'm into it too.
It is pretty precious.
When we got home, I was excited to try the wig on.
Wait.
I figured it out.
Okay.
I know why they needed that wig.
Why?
They're performing at ABBA the concert.
Why did I say ABBA?
ABBA the concert. I think I say ABBA? ABBA the concert.
I think that's how mom always said it.
Actually, ABBA is a third knockoff group.
Oh, yes.
Performing as ABBA at the Mountain Winery.
What was it called?
ABBA the concert?
I'm pretty sure it was ABBA the tour.
ABBA the tour is the real thing.
And then ABBA the concert is...
If you don't know we're talking
about this was in the wineries episode i think last episode we recorded it yesterday but we
don't really remember this is the first time in history we actually remember something we said
in the previous episode um which is a scary scary thing in three weeks when we come back to record
the next episode we're gonna have no clue what this podcast is about anymore um accurate so right i'm sorry i interrupted to uh abba 2.0 to perform as abba okay at like
so you think you could dance or one of those what are they have live shows live performances by abba
so you think you can dance? I don't know.
I don't know. I'm not really hip with it.
You know? It shows.
Okay.
When we got home, I was excited to try the wig on, only to be dismayed
because the lights won't work.
I called up the store in the hopes
that I could talk to somebody and exchange it
for something that actually works.
The line was busy, so we drove back. At the store, we approached the cashier at counter number one. She was very
rude towards us when we said we were going to return a merchandise. She said, we don't do returns
on Halloween stuff, so we said we just got it an hour ago. She left to get her manager, and the
manager inspected the item and agreed to credit me back for the wig.
But she won't take back the wig cap that was unopened.
What am I supposed to do do?
What am I supposed to do do?
All right, I'll just read it the way it was intended.
You're not going to get through this if you keep trying to repeat that one.
What am I supposed to do with a wig cap without a wig question question question question question
anyway we left and we didn't feel like going to our party mood we're never going back if there is a zero star i would
not even give them that end of review i wish you hadn't because that would have meant you wouldn't
have left a review at all i know and we would never have been graced with your presence yeah
which would have been great but um okay that way where did that come
from that kind of seemed like yeah returns oh my god the number of times i try to return something
they're like we don't take it it's a wig i mean just accept the fact that i shouldn't have messed
up and the problem is they return they took the wig right they didn't take the wig cap which i'm
like i understand because they said they don't
return halloween merchandise yeah you were insistent and the manager agreed to accept
the item that was faulty if they accepted that i'm you could probably go get another wig that
actually that's what i'm wondering but no she didn't want to go to the party anymore because
party source ruined the party mood but why is that one light up? So it comes back to your original question.
Mine?
Yeah, what the hell were they trying to be?
Because why is it so important that the wig lights up that way?
Maybe they were going to that winery and that's why the band sucked so much.
Oh my God.
When Janet was there.
Yeah, that must have been...
On her broken chair.
Oh, Lordy.
The lead singer was out. And someone was too heavy. That. That must have been. On her broken chair. Oh, lordy. The lead singer was out.
And someone was too heavy.
That was another part of it.
What?
Didn't fit into the costume.
Oh, someone had to wear her costume and they were 40 pounds overweight.
That's what it was.
Why is this one item so interesting?
You know what I'm picturing?
They just wanted to go to the party wearing that wig
yes nothing else just the wig absolutely and fake eyelashes oh sorry what the hell were they
what i don't know but i love it but yeah that's fine that i'm i appreciate the lack of creativity that's like me in my halloween stuff i would
always be like a a mailman and wear a blue shirt and that's it that was it and that's fine i love
this so much but why complain about not being able to return the wig thing i bet they have so many
wigs so many or save it till next year.
Party City spoils the party mood.
And still go to the party.
How is that?
We're never going back.
That's so dramatic.
I don't know why, but this review really bothers me.
I love that if there were zero stars, I wouldn't even give them zero stars.
That's what really set me off.
That's a really next level.
It's beyond what we're used to
it is okay and it started you said you like this person you spoke to soon i know you should know
better than to say that at the beginning of it why would you pick this when this person is like
really relatable this episode is brought to you by tresemme wants silky smooth hair that's still
full of natural movement the tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution.
This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish.
Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection.
Visit Tresemme.com to learn more.
Okay, I have another Spirit Halloween review by Lisa.
One star.
I will not go to the store again.
I went with my kids.
They were not allowed to try anything on, even over their clothes in the aisles.
The staff said they had to have everything
sent back in two days,
so they couldn't repackage the items.
They didn't want to do their job.
They said that everything was
50% off. You had to buy
it without trying anything on and no returns.
End of review.
Jeez, I mean...
You know when things in Spirit
Halloween go to 50% off?
After Halloween?
After Halloween.
Literally, like, clearance, get the shit out of here.
What the hell?
Why would they accept returns?
Well, if they're saying they have to return it to the store in two days or to the warehouse in two days...
Exactly.
That means Halloween is over.
It's over, over.
And it's a good time to get a deal but why leave a one-star review because they
won't accept returns as if that's those employees policy no no no no no no no no you're very wrong
because this person is not upset about the returns they threw that in there the person's upset that
she couldn't fucking open all the packaging of all the shit and then put it on her kids say
nah this lion mask is too big and then toss it on the floor and say hey this is your job pack it up
good point that's what she's mad about yeah and i'm like that's not their job you're also if i
was thinking target at first where all the costumes are like hanging hanging but no these
are packaged they're in those plastic packages you have to tear them
apart and fold them some manufacturing way to get them back in there it's idiotic anyway why why
yeah this is it's an entitlement i didn't think this halloween episode would get me so irritated
i know this sucks okay uh i have one from party city by steffy i feel like this might be another
person you somehow relate to.
I do not like the way you said
that. My eyes rolled real hard. It kind of hurt.
One star
by Steffi.
I am not a fan of Party
City. I was just looking
to get something simple for my Halloween
costume. I just
wanted something related to outer space.
But they had nothing not even stars end of
review huh how many one stars one star not even stars they had no stars she was speaking
foreshadowing that right there the person you you had before this, the one who was like, go make something at home.
Now is the time when this person has a point.
Larry.
If they don't, you know what?
If they don't have anything you need, either go somewhere else.
What do you mean stars?
Like you're going to glue them to your face?
Or just a giant star costume.
Just walk and star.
Like a Hollywood star.
Walk of fame. that could be i was thinking of just a regular star shape but yep that could be it too who the heck knows anyway i just
never heard of anything like this and so to be so angry that they don't have an outer space
star costume shooting star or whatever is so ridiculously outrageous to me this is
specifically like this is party city it's not one of those pop-up halloween store
wow should i tell them should i tell her about the wig and the fake eyelashes you know what
space cowboy i would have looked at that and been like wow wow, you're a star. There you go. The dream. I think we are onto something.
We need to get all these Yalpers to meet each other.
Billy Idol.
Live in concert.
What?
Billy Idol tour.
I think that person would look like Billy Idol.
Who?
I'm sorry. I? I'm sorry.
I think I'm like 10 steps behind you here.
The person with the wig.
You know what?
I'll give you this one.
Isn't that who I'm thinking of?
Google Billy Idol.
I don't think I've ever seen Billy Idol with a white afro.
So I really don't think so.
Well, he has ridiculous white hair. Okay. Who's the guy I'm so i i really don't think so ridiculous white hair okay well
who's the guy i'm thinking of i don't think they exist i mean look at this picture of billy idol
oh thank you okay thank you okay looks like a star to me i mean billy idol's a star. Absolutely. I'm definitely not thinking of Billy Joel. Okay.
Who's the one mom likes?
Billy Idol.
White Wedding.
Yes, that's the one I meant.
Who's the one that sings about the spaceship, though?
Are you talking about David Bowie?
Yes, that's who I meant.
Oh, dear. I think for your sake, we should just edit all of this out.
David Bowie also doesn't wear white afro. Okay, never mind.
But Ziggy Stardust.
That's what I was thinking.
Google Ziggy Stardust. There you go.
Uh-huh.
There you go.
That's where I was going with all of this.
Ziggy Stardust. Okay. Yeah, I was thinking that combined with David Bowie would make quite a costume.
There it is.
Ziggy Bowie. I mean, well, Ziggy Stard combined with David Bowie would make quite a costume. There it is. Ziggy Bowie.
You mean, well, Ziggy Stardust is David Bowie.
Sure.
Are you thinking about Billy Idol?
Ziggy Stardust and Billy Idol combo.
Ziggy Idol.
Ziggy Idol.
Okay.
Sounds like the next new reality series that no one's going to watch.
Everyone has already left this episode, and I'm so sorry about that.
Let me reel him back in, shall I?
Please try.
It might not work.
I've got a one-star review of Harry...
How do you pronounce it?
Harry Gould?
Harry Gould.
Harry Gould.
Halloween...
Planet.
Planet.
I see PLA.
I'm like, what's the rest of that?
Playground.
Harry Gould.
Play-Doh?
Halloween Playground.
This is a one-star review by John.
Platypus.
No return policy.
20 minutes after purchase, my three-year-old changed his mind.
Manager told me, tough luck.
End of review.
You know this.
All over those stores it says no returns or exchanges it just says it
it is a very that is a very common and understandable thing from my perspective
yes and i get that like your kid changed their mind but like that's not that's not even a valid
excuse you're not saying like it was broken or, like, it didn't fit.
Like, could he change his mind?
He suddenly didn't want to be Ziggy Bowie anymore and suddenly.
Ziggy Idol, but yeah.
It's just beyond me.
Well, I have a review of, this is a costume shop, actually.
And this, it's a costume shop, so's not technically a halloween store but they
definitely sell a lot of spooky stuff and i think i read some reviews of that place i don't have any
but it wasn't like floor to ceiling like people are saying how it's insane huge costumes yeah
and it's like massive so it's called echoes of time two stars by jen i used to love this store however i tried to drop by today and instantly
left the policy of customers surrendering their purse to a locker is a terrible idea a better
store would focus on outstanding customer service and securing any high theft items
instead every customer is being treated as a problem and a
hindrance. Here's another idea. Create a shame board. A shame board where you post pictures of
shoplifters caught in the act. Anything is better than treating everyone like a criminal for no
reason. Very unwelcoming and not a pleasant environment to be in end of review
you know what that gives me an idea we should create a shame board and this person can be
number one i'm just creating a gen board is what i call it board yeah yeah basically the same thing
gen board shame board what's the difference shame board i like how she's like i can run this store that is a terrible idea you should secure all high theft items which also like jewelry is high theft item you can't
just like yeah padlock it all yeah and i read a lot of people who were writing positive reviews
that were like a lot of stores have this policy especially thrift stores where there's only one
person working at the time you can't see everybody throughout the store if they're saying it's a high theft area a high theft shop
then leaving your bag up front makes sense i think absolutely i think this person jen
uh came in planning to steal something turned right around realized when uh realized they
couldn't anymore oh her toddler had changed his mind about wearing a Ziggy Pop costume.
And Jen said, I know where I can get him a Victorian dress.
Oh, so he can be Norman Bates?
Norman Bates.
Bathrobe.
Just stuff it right in my Louis Vuitton and no one will know.
There you go.
Mm-hmm.
That's actually a creepy costume.
Man.
Norman Bates in a Victorian dress.
Actually, I would die if somebody dressed up as that.
I'm considering it now.
I'll be, um...
No, I don't want to be involved, actually.
Please don't say whatever you're about to say.
I'd rather not be involved is what I decided.
Please don't.
That would be so funny, though.
I always thought you were kind of like Norman Bates.
Remember when we watched that show, Bates Motel?
Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking of.
Mother.
Mother?
Mother?
Mother?
Mother?
Oh, my God, I love that show.
It's so funny and creepy.
Those are the best.
I have literally photos or like videos that we took when we would watch that of him in
the pink bathrobe like and the one son coming down and going, mom?
And then he turns around like, yes, dear.
And he's holding like a frying pan full of eggs and he's wearing his mom's like night
gown.
It's the strangest show.
It's one of those shows.
It's super creepy but you gotta
laugh at those times because it makes it so especially when we're watching it really
intently and then like yeah and that shit happens what's his name norman yeah the guy
the actor i had such a crush on him remember and lisa was on the good doctor yeah i forget
how am i blanking right now real life he
has a british accent yes high more teddy high more yes so anyway wait teddy isn't no no freddy
freddy high more okay teddy is the character in bob's burgers the character in abba abba
the concert abba the concert it's all very confusing all the different layers knockoffs okay
so you that's all you have right i
have one more oh you do okay it is a redemption oh perfect of harrigal harrigal halloween placates
to customers just say platypus it's a lot easier platypus this is a five-star review by amber
i went in there to get a costume for my son, which can be a daunting task by itself.
My son is nonverbal and autistic, so finding a staff member who interacted with him and took the time to find what he wanted was amazing.
Quinn did that, and it made my day.
Thank you.
I'm definitely going back in to find my costume.
End of review.
That made me really happy.
Yeah.
I forgot that this was a redemption until i was like oh i don't like
where this is going and then it was just so positive that make okay it's like a light
in this dark cruel world yes it's it's a spooky ooky episode but we needed some light out of that
jack-o'-lantern if you know what i'm'm saying. I was trying to say something about stars, but I got lost, so jack-o'-lantern is better.
Okay, I have one more review by Tim, and this is a review of Spirit Halloween.
One star.
Too spooky.
End of review.
Love that.
Quite literally just said too spooky. that means they're doing their job i wish
that were a redemption but it's not because it's one star yeah it should be however i do have a
redemption this is another spirit halloween review by fox five stars oh my god, this one is... This one's clever. I'm ready.
The only thing they don't have is real pumpkins.
Unless they're... I'm nervous.
The only thing they don't have is real pumpkins.
Unless they're under a pile of bones somewhere.
What?
I don't know. Okay, I was like like can you explain this to me i think they're saying like this place has everything doesn't i guess they don't have real pumpkins maybe it really
maybe this one's just that spooky where they actually have like human bones lying around
he walked into a graveyard like i'm not digging through all these bones oh there might
be a live pumpkin under there live pumpkin oh god okay um can we have a pumpkin sidebar yeah sure
maybe more like a gourd sidebar um i went to the grocery store and i wanted to get ally something
special and sprouts had all these different kinds of gourds.
They have a green apple gourd.
What?
Have you seen these?
No.
It's a gourd, but it looks exactly like a giant green apple.
What?
It's incredible.
The best thing.
Did you buy one?
Of course.
Where is it?
I bought her one.
It's at her place.
What the hell?
Yeah.
Where's mine?
Um, I didn't think you deserved it. I bought her one. It's at her place. What the hell? Yeah. Where's mine?
I didn't think you deserved it.
The green apple gourd is my new favorite gourd.
I call it the gag.
The gag?
I can't even call it that.
Yeah, you're gagging.
It doesn't even come out of my mouth.
Does it taste like a green apple?
I took a quick bite.
It did not.
And then you put that one back i did i took another
i did and then left a one-star review about false advertising oh sure sure sure sure pumpkin sidebar
over pumpkin gourd sidebar over sidebar over so uh i have one more redemption oh you have two
redemptions i didn't know my goodness i didn't know. I forgot. My goodness. I didn't know either. Novelties Unlimited. Just kind of like a gag shop, if you will.
They sell a lot of green apple gourds. They sell novelties.
Yep. Redemption by Mary. Nope. That says Marv,
but it has a squiggle line under it because Macintosh Pages does not
want me to use Marv as a proper noun.
Fair. Redemption by marv five stars some buddies of
mine went here and bought some fake mustaches for a party it was hilarious
we're laughing all the way from. Sounds hilarious. It was hilarious, so I decided to do the same thing.
The prices were fair and they had plenty of supplies.
If I had to prepare for a party or even get a prank, this is where I'd go.
The cashier was also very helpful and friendly.
End of review.
Love that.
Love that, Marv.
Hello, cashier.
I'm seeking a mustache.
Well, we have a big supply oh it just made me very happy yeah i feel like marv is just one of those people who's like love it like
he's just like so positive what a what a guy all right your turn for your challenge.
My challenge this week was to find reviews in which the reviewer claimed to cast a spell.
Oh, I'm so excited.
It was difficult.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, it was good.
It was difficult, but it was good.
Okay.
So, my first one, and it was bad also.
Okay, it was good and bad. bad okay i will tell you about that it was the best of times and it was the worst of times i will tell you about the underbelly that
i uh discovered oh oh no my first review is a five-star review oh of love solution spell in
los angeles is that a place it's aelp page, so it seems to be, yes.
Sure.
Five stars by Tiffany.
My husband's secretary placed love potion on my husband coffee.
Ever since my husband's company employed this secretary,
my husband comes back home with lips kiss on his shirt on several occasions.
My husband didn't deny. That was what
got my heart broken. My husband moved out the last time I confronted him about it and went to stay
with her. He will not even pick up my calls. I was broken and shattered. It was like I tore my
marriage apart due to the improper way I handled the situation. I'd cry every day and night,
swollen eyes to work,
and friends started asking questions.
My elder sister told me about Love Solution Temple
to get my husband back.
So, I went.
Surprisingly, just a single spell
was what turned everything around.
My husband came home this morning
with all his belongings.
End of review what what it's a freaking weird underbelly christina this is a thing alexander i don't know this is
a thing if we should have gone in this direction no it was at times very uncomfortable and a lot
of the five-star reviews were under the not recommended section,
which makes me believe that they're less than accurate.
But...
You mean like there's some collusion happening?
Yes, or some like, yeah, false reviews happening.
But who knows?
Got it.
So here's another one of the same place by Hollingworth.
Five stars.
It works.
The spell brought back my husband.
He just found out that his ex is five months pregnant for another man.
Same woman he left me for.
Thank you, priestess, for your great love spell.
You have done so much for me and my family.
He came back to me crying.
And a review.
Oh my gosh. Is this a real thing these are reviews
that i found on yelp that is what i can say you're not gonna make any further i did not make these up
i these were already there they've uh what if you did make them up that would be really funny
you're on final draft that difficult that yeah difficult that, yeah. Just writing. It was like just my weekend.
My husband was crying.
Here is my, here's another one.
This is from California Witch.
Okay.
It has four one-star reviews and that's it.
And then.
Four one-star?
Yes.
Oh, no.
It was all about how much of a scam it was and all the money that people lost.
Thousands of dollars. dollars oh my gosh
so apparently uh what this woman would do would tell you that if you don't give thousands of pay
thousands of dollars your life will basically go to shit blackmailing you basically with her
quote-unquote abilities black magic black magic yeah black magic a. Black magic mailing you? Black magicing. Yeah, black magic ailing. Black magic mailing you.
Yeah, black magic mailing you.
Wow.
I never thought I'd see the day.
Yes, well, the day is here.
You know California is a liberal cesspool.
Yeah, and this was in Los Angeles.
Even worse.
California Witch is the name.
I hear it's awful.
But, here are a few five-star reviews that were not recommended
that's how i found them i see this is one from jen hello everyone i'm jen and i'm here to share
the wonderful work dr tundi did for me doctor interesting but dr tundi i don't think has
anything to do with california witch so i think this is somewhat of an of a recommendation of someone else online and she just saw california which went oh that's fun
dr tundy has a nickname like i said this is a really weird underbelly okay got it after four
years in marriage with my husband with two kids my husband started acting weird and going out with
other women and showed me cold love weird i know and i hate how in that like
first or second one they say i was doing everything wrong handling this situation yeah exactly as if
they were at fault that's what i was confused i thought they meant they accidentally a spell
backfired like they did a spell no okay but what probably happened if this if that was a real thing
was whoever they went to basically told them you're doing everything wrong and blamed them so that they would pay money black magic
to get it fixed got it on several occasions he threatened to divorce me if i dare question him
about his affair with other women i was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of
mine told me about a spellcaster on the internet called Dr. Tundi, who helped people with relationship and marriage problems
by the powers of love spells.
At first I doubted if such a thing ever exists,
but decided to give it a try.
When I contacted him, he helped me cast a love spell,
and within 48 hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing.
Now he has stopped going out with other women,
and he's with me for good and for real.
Contact this great love spellcaster for your relationship or marriage problem to be solved today also
specialize in treating all kinds of illnesses herpes virus cancer brain disease infertility
diabetes and more cancer end of review infertility this is terrible oh yes thank god this is under this is the first time i've ever
been thankful that yelp puts things in the not recommended section yeah and part of it which i
didn't include was um because they included an email address a phone number so this person's
just owning the company or something and yeah or is dr tundi or is trying to and i i hesitated to say dr tundi yes um the
scammer tundi wow that's rough yes i like how it goes on and on about the love spell and then it's
like oh he also treats cancer if you're looking for that that's just yeah as a side note just as
a side note holy shit herpes cancer here here's a here's another one from adam five stars it was really
great how their love spell brought so many men into my life in a short span of time then i chose
one of them whom i really liked a lot and fell in love with him he's perfect for me and loves me a
lot but you're now thinking of spending the rest of my life together end of review what this is clearly made up here's one from jill five stars jill okay she
helped me i was at my lowest point i was a guy the last one was adam no i mean no dr tundi is a
totally different person that's what i was saying was i don't think is related to the california
witch it's not california wizard freaking bizarre okay well maybe warlock warlock succubus no oh oh you never know you
never know yes christine i know what i'm saying this is a halloween episode okay i say things
like that don't say that spooky ooky go on she helped me i was at my lowest point i didn't think
i could go on i had several tragedies in my life whatever spell she gave me has helped a lot
i have a job now my boyfriend is very supportive now and things are looking up end of review
so whether or not these are all fake scam things yeah i did meet the challenge i thought you're
so you met mr tundy i was like no i went out there, found this guy, Mr. Tundey. It is LA.
He could be here.
You never know.
Let's hope not.
You met the challenge.
You absolutely did.
And I'm uncomfortable about it.
I have one more.
Okay.
This one is a little bit different and is very much a legitimate person giving a review.
This is of Ancient Ways.
It's a cosmetics and beauty supply, spiritual shop, candle store, etc. in Oakland, California.
This was written by Eyes.
One star.
Okay, look, I've had it with them.
I used to shop there when I was younger and was first getting into my religion.
First of all, I want to say the only person who was cool there is Mike.
He's a bigger guy, white with glasses.
I used to shop there every day, and I know he used to have a crush on me.
Oh.
Yeah, I knew it all along.
I even met his girlfriend.
Whoa.
They have classes there filled with people who can't even pronounce what they are teaching.
I used to bring my friends to this store, and now I see why they never wanted to continue.
I just left the spot 20 minutes ago.
This white-haired lady had the nerve to yell at me.
Let's get something straight.
When you yell, I yelp.
A yelp?
Like yelp on yelp?
Yes, like actually going on yelp.
I thought she meant like yelp!
No.
I did it first too.
It took me a second.
Okay.
I hadn't.
You yell, I Yelp.
This is my, this is exactly our new catchphrase.
I think we should just put that in every episode description.
Just steal it.
I hadn't been there for over three years, with the exception of the day before yesterday.
And guess who was there?
Mike.
But he didn't recognize me.
You see, unlike
ancient ways, my spells
and candles really work.
So there's my challenge.
I did that. Absolutely.
And let me point out that this store has a lot
of negative energy around it.
A few years ago, there was a car
that rammed into the store.
May I point out, you get back
what you put in?
So they're victim blaming them for getting hit by a car.
Yeah.
I recommend buy your oils here.
And then included a website.
Their oil actually works and you will see results fast.
Their money draw oil is very light and won't work.
Or if it does, it will take over a month for it to do so. You will see
results in the next few days here. They will sell you anything. They will sell you black magic ritual
items, even though that may not be what you wanted. Their readings are inaccurate and suck.
The owner of the store is a stuck-up prude. They always have this arrogant attitude,
like they are better than everybody. Oh, i've never heard of someone like that interesting when you yell i yelp oh you don't want to shop at a store
like that do you i don't enter enter i'm updating this the guy i said was cool is not he's what do
you call it yeah dick van dyke end. What? I don't know.
So she wrote a...
He's cool.
He's in love with me.
I met his girlfriend.
And his store sucks.
Yeah.
What?
Why?
Okay.
I mean, I guess we're never gonna know.
But why did she say,
Oh, I always came to the store.
I always brought my friends.
And then just suddenly it was like...
Because apparently the people who were teaching things, like in their classes, Oh, I always came to the store. I always brought my friends. And then just suddenly it was like.
Because apparently the people who were teaching things like in their classes didn't know what they were talking about.
Couldn't pronounce the things they were teaching. Couldn't say, even pronounce it.
So like they weren't good at what they were doing is what she was saying.
This expert of all of it.
Wow.
Because her spells work and theirs don't.
Wow.
And then she didn't go for three years
and then came back and it seemed like she came back and started a scene correct yeah she drove
her car directly into the side she ran it in and said you get you get what you put out there not
my fault this is karma i actually did a spell wishing a car would drive into your building
and then lo and behold look i happen to be a car that ram drive into your building and then lo and behold, look. I happened
to be in a car that rammed into
your building. My GMC is stuck in the wall.
Now how does
that feel, Mike? Oh man,
poor Mike. Never return my calls.
Poor Mike. I even met your girlfriend.
Your fiancé. She didn't know who
I was, but I found her.
My spell. I found her. That is
just the most disturbing. I do not want to run into this
person ever i don't want to run into any of the things that i just read i feel like i'm gonna
need to sage this room you just brought in all of this person's negative energy and that's what's
crazy this is part one what there's more of this no of our two-part halloween special thank god i
was like i need to get in this room yeah yes we have a special
special halloween episode lined up for you next week with a special guest very spooky guest this
guest is going to be reading narrating a couple reviews in a segment and it is our first guest
ever um just gonna do we didn't have lisa's voice on here
once we did do that lisa lampinelli we do have a loud german man also on most episodes yes that
is true but i i would argue all the episodes pretty much all the episodes uh but yeah we
will have somebody um if you maybe know a thing or two about the history and background of the show,
you probably might know who this might be.
It's Spooky Yuki season.
You're making this very interesting, the way you're describing it.
I'm making it very long.
No, it's going to be a lot of fun.
And with that, I think we should reveal the theme for next week.
Oh, okay.
What is it?
I also feel that we were very fortunate in receiving this request from Amy, our $30 patron.
It is.
It's kismet.
It's serendipity.
Much like a GMC driving into the side of your building.
This is the energy you get back.
driving into the side of your building, this is the energy you get back.
And Amy sent us some great energy
by suggesting Salem, Massachusetts.
Yes.
As her hometown.
Yes.
And this is perfect timing for our Halloween episode.
And Amy, we are going to do you proud
because we are going to just be,
it's kind of a free-for-all,
but we're basically going to do attractions in Salem.
Yes.
So we're going to try to look for the spookiest reviews we can find.
Spooky spots in Salem.
Spooky spots in Salem, Massachusetts.
Triple S.
Yes, as long as it's not two.
We need at least SSS to make it okay for us to read these.
Correct.
Did not think of that.
Spooky spots in Salem,achusetts is our theme for next
week so we're just gonna do a bunch of fun reviews and uh and kind of just have fun with that'll be
the challenge in and of itself and maybe in the challenge section we'll just read some other
random spooky things we find we're just gonna make it really halloweeny we'll also have a halloween
guest which means uh that's a challenge in and of itself oh yeah it will be very challenging it's a challenge in and of itself. Oh, yeah. It will be very challenging. It's a new concept for us.
So I'm very excited.
No, it's going to be so much fun.
Very Halloweeny.
And thankfully, we're going to have a nice three-week break before we record it.
We have plenty of time to research.
But you'll be hearing it next week.
Bye, guys.
Bye. you