Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 50: Apartment Complexes in Grand Rapids, MI

Episode Date: November 6, 2019

This week's episode is dedicated to Fat Cat Cora. Remember that time when we exposed a hairy underbelly? Well, this week's underbelly is even hairier. If you're looking for an apartment in Grand Rapid...s, we hope you don't take this episode into consideration (unless you love egg-hair and microwaved cups of pee). And if you believe the earth is flat, we also don't think this episode is for you. Everyone else, please enjoy us waxing "poetic" on the merits and failings of conspiracy theories... or feel free to hate the fact we did that! Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy to fulfill our dream of chatting with you live on video.  Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:23 Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly today something is coming kong godzilla they can feel it fight together it's human up or face extinction godzilla kong the new empire now playing only in theaters. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero stars if I could. Good afternoon.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Good evening. Welcome to BHC Sandy Water 2.11. Oh no, I'm just waiting. For what? For you to get through this. I'm sorry, I just had 8,000 skittles. Oh yeah, I heard you over the mic. Thankfully they're not going to hear that. I have some common decency. Welcome to Beach, Tea, Sandy, Water 2. Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Christine Schieffer. And I'm Alex Schieffer. We're related. We're siblings. I don't think we've done a real intro like that in a while.
Starting point is 00:01:56 I know. I wanted to refresh my own memory as to what we do here. Some station identification, much needed. Yes. Welcome to ABS, no. Those are my initials, abs, for that for a reason. Automatic lock and break system. Anti-lock break system. Whatever. Hey everybody, welcome. This week we are doing a fun thing called Apartments in Grand rapids michigan yeah it was actually a lot of fun and it was thanks to our 30 patron off sheen who sent it in who's on in grand rapids and gave us a bunch of suggestions one of which was apartments um
Starting point is 00:02:39 and i gave you the challenge nope you gave me a challenge your challenge was to find a review written by a flat earther and that's thanks to ingrid and fat cat cora that's right um and i think we should officially dedicate this episode to fat cat cora i'd actually like to dedicate this entire podcast to fat cat that too uh we received some pretty devastating news after the episode was posted. Ingrid reached out and sent a really sweet, poignant email and let us know that, unfortunately, Fat Cat Cora had actually passed away. And it was right before Ingrid listened to the episode. Yeah, it was, like, really weird timing. Because I just, I mean, I just went through her inbox and, like, clicked one.
Starting point is 00:03:21 And it just happened to be that one, and I loved the theme and the name. like clicked one and it just happened to be that one and i loved the theme and the name um and it yeah ingrid said she was um feeling really down obviously and uh was trying to clear her head and turned on our podcast and heard us talking about fat kakura yep it's just wild wild and it was like the same night the same everything it was the timing was my mind. The timing was bizarre and upsetting to me. I cried. Oh, we all cried, yeah. So, Ingrid, we are very sorry for your loss, and we can't even imagine, but I think there was some special communication going on. I think Fat Cat Cora was throwing her hat in the ring here, so to speak.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Absolutely, and I'm excited to see what Fat Cat Cora's challenge idea brought to the table here. I'd like to not dedicate the things that I found. Actually, come to think of it, I'd like to dedicate only our five-star redemptions from now on to Fat Cat Cora. Okay, there we go. That might be better. Because the things that occurred on my computer were really devastating. one of my favorite parts of ingrid's email was when she wrote um she will now be forever memorialized in a podcast about people complaining about nothing which seems absolutely correct for cora who was never happy about anything that's the part i burst into i know it made me so sad oh my god it's just really heartbreaking um So thank you for reaching out, Ingrid.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Thank you, Ingrid. Oy, oy, oy. Hopefully we don't have any more incidents like that. Oh, yeah. Anytime soon. Oh, yeah. Well, this is for you, Ingrid, and you, Fat Cat Corps. That's right.
Starting point is 00:04:59 So I have more reviews than you this week. Do you want me to start? Go for it. So Afshin sent in the theme of apartments in Grand Rapids and said, okay, look into whatever you do, look into Grand Castle Apartments. And so, of course, that's where I went. And within like maybe 30 seconds, I immediately found a really good one. So apparently this Grand Castle Apartments is a thing that went up in grand rapids and people consider it a monstrosity and it looks like they tried to make it a castle but
Starting point is 00:05:30 it's like lovely considered by most to be kind of tacky or no no i mean i'm not speaking for myself i haven't seen it in person but people compared it to like a cross between um an insane asylum and like harry potter like it just looks really in like uh industrial and cold but also like they're trying to be a castle and there's like lion statues it's just very weird so uh this is the review that i found by deb it's a one-star review i've lived in germany and have been inside and outside of both linderhof and neuschwanstein what i know all two of those castles? Inside and outside.
Starting point is 00:06:07 No. Can you believe it? To be fair, I've been outside of every castle in the world. Ooh. Whoa. Whoa. That would be, you know what would be very impressive? What?
Starting point is 00:06:17 If you've been inside a castle, but not outside the castle. That'd be really sad. You know what? You know who had an experience like that probably every victim of some horrible medieval true crime story literally no it was um it was uh russian oh god i'm gonna be bad with names i'm gonna forget the name but one of the potential heirs to uh the russian throne when peter the third and catherine the great were around yes um as a baby was locked in in jail and kept in jail forever.
Starting point is 00:06:47 It's really heinous. I mean, it's pretty heinous. So thanks for bringing that up, Deb. Okay. At least Deb's statement is historically accurate, where there has been someone who's been inside a castle, but not outside of it. Okay, you're not wrong.
Starting point is 00:07:04 This place is not a castle. It's an awkward apartment complex that felt it needed a theme. Castles have luscious grounds. Would anyone actually think this is a real castle in Grand Rapids, Michigan? No offense to Grand Rapids, Michigan. I'd say that with any U.S. city. I learned a lot. No one needs to hear this.
Starting point is 00:07:32 That it's not an actual castle. Someone needs to hear this. And you know someone out there needs to hear this. Castles have luscious grounds of woods, meadows, and landscape. They don't have 750 parking spaces. Actually, I picked a different. I bet you Neuschwanstein has around that many parking spaces. Absolutely. At least.
Starting point is 00:07:52 How do you think they get those big tour buses up there? Oh, God. It's a nightmare, though. Oh, and castles are not situated next to an expressway. Really? BTW, Neuschwanstein was never finished. Fact. End of review. Oh my god, it just got more and more obnoxious. So there's a response from the owner. Well, it was never finished by the person who originally, I mean, I don't know, what a dumb statement.
Starting point is 00:08:19 What do you mean it was never finished? I have a response from owner. Who cares about that fact? This fact is bothering me. I have a response from owner. Who cares about that fact? This fact is bothering me. I have a response from owner. Okay, let me know. It must be nice to be so well-traveled, Deb. Oh!
Starting point is 00:08:38 I'm sorry, it's so funny. That is funny. It must be nice to be so well-traveled, Deb. As we are, are in fact an apartment complex we don't claim to have all the markers of a historic german castle however we think we do have a lot of amazing amenities that make our community very special and we try our best to make our residents feel like royalty every day if you'd like to schedule a tour we'd be happy to show you what makes us great end of response can i just say i'm ready to schedule a tour, we'd be happy to show you what makes us great. End of response.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Can I just say, I'm ready to get a tour. I'm ready. That convinced me. I already signed a lease. Our new studio's in this apartment complex. Perfect. It's just funny because most of the responses from the manager were very like, we're sorry to hear you, because people were like, this is fugly, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, we're sorry to hear.
Starting point is 00:09:23 You know, we're really proud of it. End of response. But you know they read this one like oh it's good it's good deb's gonna get it get it deb all right anyway that's the first one thanks afshin for sending that yeah oh that's funny okay my next one is um of richmond hills apartments It's by Anthony. One star. Place isn't as nice as advertised. The hallways are always dirty and smell pretty bad. My toilet would sing every time I flush it. The walls are super thin so you hear every conversation taking place in the hallways.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Outside, the apartments smell like microwaved dog poo. Dog pee. I miss dog poo. Dog pee. I misread poo. You just sort of corrected it. I don't know. It's just as bad. It's pee. I was wondering because then I read that and I was thinking, oh, I wonder if they have experienced microwaving dog poo.
Starting point is 00:10:18 But now I have to wonder if they have experienced microwaving dog pee. Makes a difference. Either one's really problematic, I think. But the pee is a lot harder to collect don't you think yeah actually yeah and it's a little more messed up yeah you're you're right it has to be in a container of some sort you have to contain it so how would you know also what do you know anthony oh god anthony are your is your toilet okay also that is another thing. Seems to be a lot of pee-related problems.
Starting point is 00:10:46 I saw that, and I'm like, what? The toilet sings? I mean, I know toilets make noise. I don't think I've ever flushed a toilet that didn't make noise. That seems more like a you problem, my friend. But what is the singing thing? And there is a manager response. I'm not going to read it, but I want to say that in there,
Starting point is 00:11:02 they called Anthony out and said they performed a history search. And there were no previous maintenance requests for their apartment. For a singing toilet. There were no previous issues with that toilet reported. And also, they were like, hey, if you see problems with the pets, let us know. Like, specific things. Like, people not doing their duty properly. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:11:28 They're going to go into his apartment to fix his toilet, and there's going to be cups of dog pee all over the counters. Yeah. Wow. Yummy. That's a scam of the century. That's heinous. Okay. I have one that was also recommended by another listener.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Stephanie. Yes, you are so astute. This was Stephanie, who I believe was also, you said, on Patreon live. The same Stephanie. It's funny because Stephanie and we, this was after, you didn't know this at the time, but Stephanie was in the Patreon live chat talking about doing apartments in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Oh, I thought it sounded familiar.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Well, yeah, and then, but at the time, I had already planned on doing that because of option suggestion. You should have given them a little wink wink. You know, I should have. Future patrons. I was going to say, you make it sound not very appealing. I know, but. But we did have a really fun time.
Starting point is 00:12:22 We found out some really fun facts about some of our listeners. Oh we had a celebrity listeners celebrity whoa okay miley cyrus was all over that patreon chat that's right mc finally got her um okay so anyway stephanie sent an sent in an email and suggested york creek apartments and so i found this one-star review and i didn't write who wrote it oh maybe it was stephanie stephanie wrote this one-star review about york creek apartments i will never recommend york creek to anyone the staff is extremely rude and does not listen to concerns halfway through my lease a friend was cooking on the stove while i was at work and caught my apartment on fire. My insurance covered all damages, but I was very displeased with the communication between maintenance and the York Creek staff.
Starting point is 00:13:17 They did a horrible job repairing my apartment, and when I asked for new carpet since the fire damaged it, they declined. Even though my insurance probably would have paid for it. Four months left on my lease, I found two bed bugs. They sent people to treat it who never came. The next month, I received a letter saying I need to move out when my lease is up due to the fire and the amount of complaints I had received. Oh my god. After moving, they said I owed them $120 in addition to my security deposit because of the damaged carpets and their friend set the apartment on fire i mean yeah what do you expect so funny that they were like listen you can't live here like there were people who were saying this is the
Starting point is 00:14:00 shadiest place like people just are constantly like in and out and they just accept anybody and it's hooligans and ruffians and then they're like she's like they asked me to leave like i was not allowed to live there anymore if all of these red flags pop up and your thought isn't maybe i'm the problem one of the red flags being your carpet is in flames because your friends i love how it's like their friend i know while i was at work like so weirdly like why is your friend setting your apartment on fire while you're at work what's going on there and then how are you blaming the apartment complex and the maintenance people for that she's like i was displeased with the way they fixed my
Starting point is 00:14:39 apartment i was like you set it up it's not apartment. Also, it's like you're setting their property on fire that you rent. Literally. Oh, my God. And then you're shocked when they're like, please don't return. Please get out. Can you please pay to fix this? At least they didn't. At least they let them finish their lease.
Starting point is 00:14:56 I was very impressed that they were like, you know what? You can stay till the end. Seriously. Till the end. Four months left. Just please don't let your friend back in here. They're really bad at it. They keep putting dog pee in the microwave and it always ends with flames. Oh no. Okay, I've got another one of Richmond Hills Apartments. This is by Diane. Two stars.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Drove around all the buildings. Some are nicer than others. It's sort of back in the woods, which I like like do not think this place suitable for me as i am disabled and cannot do stairs have a walker end of review have a walk like i have a walker like here i assume diane has a walker oh okay unless they're offering a walker to the i thought maybe um yeah it sounded very generous um so diane drove around and was like you know what this place isn't for me two stars too many stairs yes yes um two stars well it didn't even mention stairs specifically okay it just like it did it did but it says do not think this place is suitable suitable for me as i cannot do stairs so i assume that but they responded and they were like please come back and like give it a chance if
Starting point is 00:16:12 you're really interested in moving in here they did respond so she didn't like go in or anything no didn't leave the car presumably it's they just do you think she just drives around with her walker and it's like well not for me what can i review today i with her walker and is like, well, not for me. What can I review today? I have a walker, two stars. Yeah, which, I mean, hey, could be doing a good service if these places are like, you know what, we need to be more accessible. That's very, very true. I mean, I guess it's hard to tell if you don't actually go into the complex. It was weird that Diane didn't seem too unhappy about this place.
Starting point is 00:16:43 It was more like, hey. Maybe it's like that castle. They just have a big moat and you can't really get across you know true um okay so the next one i have is called icon on bond and it was definitely one of those like cool you know like on over the rhine when they're putting all these like condo complexes yes yes banks yeah very like uh millennial fancy type stuff the ascent in uh the ascent is that covington newport where is that one of those places i think yeah um so this is icon on bond in grand rapids richard gave this i'm already laughing i have not even started uh richard gave icon on Bond one star. Since I moved here in April of 2018,
Starting point is 00:17:32 the maintenance man, Mike, has let his two chihuahuas run off-leash through the halls, common areas, and elevators of the building. They bark continuously at other residents. This bark is an obnoxious ferociousness that is ear-splitting. Several complaints have been made to management, but the off-leash behavior continues. In fact, one evening, I opened the door to my apartment, and the dog struggled to enter, so I slammed the door behind me and waited for the ruckus to pass. I wrote to management, who stated they would fix the problem, but clearly my complaint has fallen on deaf ears. So now I am forced to listen before I open the door of my apartment
Starting point is 00:18:08 to prevent another attempted entry by rogue dogs. Some would say Icon on Bond hosts a hostile living environment. End of review. Oh my god, that was dramatic. All the wowies! The little wowies. Running through the hallways. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:25 I listen. If Olive showed up at my door, I'd'd be like i'd force her in to hang out with me rather than the other way around um very true i do like the part where the dogs apparently run around the elevators of the building it makes me feel like like what's that bever Beverly Hills Chihuahua. It's just like taking the elevator. Oh, yeah. They're doing their thing. They live there. They live there. They have every right to walk up to your door.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Absolutely. And to go inside your door. And to cause a ruckus. He slammed the door. He's living in fear. He's living in a hostile living environment. Wowies. I love a good wowie, though. can't do okay we can't live without him huh no i would i want to move there too so we'll get one place at the castle okay we're gonna have one place at icon on bond or spread out our
Starting point is 00:19:15 recording sessions yeah we'll figure it out okay here is a review of 20 fulton east apartments by matt one star just wait till you get a load of lindsey of 20 Fulton East Apartments by Matt. One star. Just wait till you get a load of Lindsay. I screenshot this one before I even finished. I read that sentence and I'm like, yep, that's it. I cannot wait, by the way, till I get a what? A earful? A mouthful? A load.
Starting point is 00:19:44 A load. Oh, bad, bad. Bad, bad. I am not sureful? A mouthful? A load. A load. Oh, bad, bad. Bad, bad. I am not sure if she is incompetent or just incapable when it comes to communication, but either way, she has no idea what the term customer service means. She's one of the most obtuse people I've ever come across. She called the police on me because I moved out on a cold day after I was told by the leasing agent to move out whenever. Very disappointing,
Starting point is 00:20:11 considering how great the rest of the staff is at this place. End of review. Somebody explain that. Believe it or not, there's another side of this story. Shocking. Written by the owner.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I wish it was the police report because I really want to hear that. The owner had this to say. Matt, we apologize that you were disappointed when moving out. However, using profanity on the staff is not acceptable or tolerated. You did not schedule your move out in advance and or follow directions to work with the staff. Furthermore, the manager did not call the police. Neighbors of 20 Fulton East called and complained when they couldn't get around your moving van and the staff advised them to call parking enforcement. We wish you all the best. End of response. We wish you all the best with a big
Starting point is 00:21:01 middle finger. Yeah, the thing about the cold day, I just don't understand what that has to do with anything. That's the thing. Is it probably was just trying to get pity points or something? I'd like to imagine that every day in Grand Rapids is pretty fucking cold. So I think it's kind of a hard thing to complain about. And especially when he said, oh, they told me I could move out whenever. So I moved out on a really cold day. Get over yourself. And then they're like're like well that's not how it happened but well it's really weird that you read that
Starting point is 00:21:30 because the next one i have is like shockingly similar but of a different apartment and a different person oh hello darlings this is lisa van der pump will you join me in france for a new reality show meet my hand selected staff as they, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests. And of course, they'll have to meet my standards, and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st,
Starting point is 00:22:06 streaming on Disney+. This is a review of the Ramblewood Apartments, affectionately known by many as the Ramblehood Apartments. Uh-oh. That is something that I came across in dozens of these reviews. And Jake had a one-star review. Do not even talk to Rachel Dorfman in the leasing office. By the way, I changed her name because I didn't want to put her real name out there.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Do not even talk to Rachel Dorfman in the leasing office. She is illogical, ignorant, and should not be allowed to socially perform a job that doesn't include the use of a plastic utensil for flipping burgers. Actually, I take that back. The grill would pose a threat to someone of that intelligence level. She lives in fear of her, quote, manager, and her, quote, pleasantries could be compared to that of a dying animal. Again, talk to anyone else but her.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Sincerely, a concerned citizen. Oh my god. What? That's so mean. There was no response there was no response why would you use a plastic utensil on a grill i was wondering that too i was like jake so you clearly your intelligence level is not much higher yeah oh yeah that was really weirdly specific like the dying animal and it was not well like it it like her pleasantries were of a dying animal. That doesn't even really make sense.
Starting point is 00:23:28 The grill with the plastic. I'll tell you something. It made me very uncomfortable. Something about it. Oh, yes. It's highly uncomfortable. Didn't like it. Thanks a lot, Jake.
Starting point is 00:23:39 All right. I have a one-star review by Adam of Springs at Knapp's Crossing. Lived here for three months during the summer with a friend. Nice complex, but the staff and maintenance are far less than expected for the cost to live here. The dog poop is everywhere, and the maintenance guys don't care. I complained to the clubhouse desk and was ignored. Ruined my new patent leather Jordans.
Starting point is 00:24:06 And that was the final straw. Get your grounds cleaned up and this will be a better place. End of review. I just picture that step and just the, what's it called? The vein coming out of his forehead. Oh, yeah. The rage building. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Final straw. What? Yeah. I don't't know watch where you're walking bud i mean honestly though watch where you're walking in those patent jordans and i think it's like i really this is one of those things that we i saw so much the dog poop problems and like i feel like there's only so much you can ask maintenance to do. Blame the other dog, the dog owners that aren't picking up their dog's poop. Yeah, that's kind of a problem. I mean, if they clean it up at all, I think that's great.
Starting point is 00:24:53 And like, I think I would appreciate that at all. But like constantly to make sure that your Jordans aren't messed up. Jesus. You have like a small complex with 100 units and like 40 of them have dogs because it's a pet friendly unit. Like all of those people are taking the dog out multiple times a day. And if many of, if even a portion of them don't pick up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Then maintenance has a terrible job. Exactly. And who wants to do that job? Nobody. And yet they're doing it anyway. So be nice. Maybe you should be a good Samaritan and just pick up the dog. And maybe take some responsibility.
Starting point is 00:25:25 You're the one walking. Watch where you're walking, Adam. They were there first, Adam. Adam, the poop was there first. I know a guy looking for some specimens to microwave. Ew. Ew. I have one more by Ramblewood.
Starting point is 00:25:43 I mean, of Ramblewood. This is a one-star review by Joe. Don't trust any five-star reviews from October 17th to November 17th, 2018. They are currently soliciting fake five-star reviews in exchange for a gift card raffle. Now this is where the mystery deepened. There is a conspiracy afoot. There was a response by Ramblewood. Ramblewood would like to apologize for any confusion surrounding a recent SMS message that was delivered to residents regarding a sweepstakes referencing a chance to win a $500 gift card when you enter a five-star review.
Starting point is 00:26:24 To alleviate further confusion, we are canceling the sweepstakes. Please look for more information via other channels. And that was the response they wrote on every one-star review that said, fuck you, you asked me for a five-star review. They did that and everyone was like, yeah, screw this, I'm writing a one-star review because that's not fair. Correct. There were these people, all these people were like, I was not even going to complain.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Like, I'd already moved out and moved on. But when they started soliciting fake five-star reviews, I was like, screw it. Here's your one-star. And it turned on them so hard. I'm going to actually read the text. Somebody, like, copy-pasted the actual text message. I'm sorry, the SMS message. And this is a text.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Residents, starting today till November 17, for every five-star review you submit online for our property on Yelp, Google, etc., you will be entered into a drawing for a $500 Visa gift card. Wow. So basically, they were like any five-star views you submit on any platforms the number of times you you get more entries if you do it more and more yeah oh it's pretty shady that's pretty shady and the ones that were in that month were so stupid they were like love this place smiley face it was like five stars yeah anyway oh boy let's just say it turned on them so don't try to buy fake reviews yeah but don't try to buy any reviews there you go it just doesn't it it doesn't work yeah unless you're us then we'll pay you for some solid we gave you a little prize thing for that but we gave like
Starting point is 00:27:57 three of you that true and it was only if you actually liked the podcast. That's true. Because we got plenty of one-star reviews, whatever. We do. I have another one. This is by Melina. One star. Of Emerald Creek Apartments. I can't believe we haven't had any crossover yet. I know.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Huh. Yeah, that's impressive. There were a lot. I mean, that's part of this. There were a lot, yeah. People, this is a thing. Yep. So anyway, here's a one-star review.. There were a lot. I mean, that's part of this. There were a lot, yeah. People, this is a thing. Yep. So anyway, here's a one-star review. Lived there a year.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Woke up one day with the maintenance slash ant spray guy just standing in my room. Oh! Maintenance requests were never fixed either. End of review. Oh, no. Yep. That's not okay. That happened to me in boston oh man this guy was touring my i guess i was living in like a bu sponsored apartment and i was in the shower and i suddenly hear a man's
Starting point is 00:28:55 voice and i like don't know what to do i'm literally about to call the police in the bathroom but i didn't have some phone service in my apartment unless i was sitting on the window so i lived in a basement anyway so i was like holy crap it's like texting blaze like there's someone in my apartment and i look out and there's just this man with this woman and her like teenage son touring the apartment what and this was a studio apartment there was not a bedroom there was not another room it was literally one big room and i walk out and they're all just like oh and they like left obviously what it was traumatizing and i talked to one of my professors about it and she had written for law and order svu for like 15 years and she's like she was so upset she like went to i don't know administration was like you can't have strangers walking into students' apartments.
Starting point is 00:29:46 That's so not okay. People have trauma and people have like, you can't do that. You literally can't. And then they were like, oh, well, part of the deal is that we show your apartment like two months before you move out. And I was like, but you have to tell me first. Yeah. And they were like, okay, next time we'll warn you. I was like, what in the goddamn hell?
Starting point is 00:30:04 Anyway. That's fucked. So it was not what in the goddamn hell? Anyway. That's fucked. So, it was not someone in my bedroom, thank God. Like, I didn't wake up to somebody. But still. I was in the shower. I mean, that's not okay. I was ready to, I couldn't even call the police because I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:30:15 I would have, yeah. I mean, if you had, you would have been totally in your right to call the police right there. It was frightening. That's terrible. Anyway. So, that's not okay. And I love that, that like in the end she didn't even get her aunt problem fixed or whatever the hell was going on yeah it was very like
Starting point is 00:30:29 nonchalant thrown in the middle like i was living there a year then one day there there's the antsberry guy oh by the way maintenance requests didn't pan out by the way I still have ants. I don't like that story. No, no. I really don't, actually. I really don't. Okay, I have one review, I think. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Yeah, I have one review left and then a redemption. So this review is by Jodi of Aspen Lakes Apartments. Now, this comes with a photo of her. I'm going to text it to you. It's a one-star view and it says, door handle fell off. What? Did you get the picture?
Starting point is 00:31:19 Oh my God, it did. Wow. Is that what that, okay. Wow. It's one of those like cheap metal metal like um metal like like those yeah like as a handle yeah it's like a handle and it's just in her hand popped off she has like this adorable hot pink uh french manicure definitely lovely acrylics on and she's just holding this uh half of a doorknob, and one star door handle fell off.
Starting point is 00:31:46 And then there's one sandal, and one, like, one of those hiking-looking- Like a Teva sandal, or a Teva hiking shoe. Hiking shoe. A Merrill, if you will. Not matching, but both just kind of in not-so-good places. Wow. This is a mystery. This is baffling.
Starting point is 00:32:06 The door handle's just in her hand, and the door just doesn't have a handle. It made me laugh so hard, because it just was so... Four words. And Blaze looked at it and went, well, yeah, I mean, you can't argue with that.
Starting point is 00:32:21 I mean, it's true. There's proof. It explains the whole story. Oh, my God. Yes, it does it explains the whole story oh my god yes it does except the whole sandal and hiking shoe there's a little bit of a mystery and french manicure i don't know if she's going hiking i don't know if she's on on a bachelorette trip there could be a lot happening here um speaking of blaze he's on his way home from work and he just said i said oh we'll be recording and he said okay let me know if you need me to do a another reading and i was like this is going to his head oh um he's one
Starting point is 00:32:50 twitter post apparently like lauded him for oh i know i saw it i didn't tell him well i'm sad he saw it he found out so unfortunately blaze says let me know if you need another celeb reading and i said we're actually really, really busy. Thanks anyway. We're pretty booked up. We're pretty booked. Miley Cyrus is coming on soon. Yeah, you kind of had your shot. She'll be here in 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Yeah, you really warmed us up though, thanks. All right. Okay, I've got one more review. Perfect. This is a one star by Callie of Arena Place Apartments. This is my grand finale. Oh God, help me. Last night, some residents of the Arena Place Apartments
Starting point is 00:33:28 were throwing eggs at people standing in line at the Grand Woods Lounge. Set in the scene. Beautiful scene. They were in an apartment that was facing the Grand Woods Lounge on one of the top floors near the corner. I was one of the many people who was hit with an egg. Bullshit. She was the only one hit with an egg. And it, in fact, hit me right in the head. I would just like to say to whoever you are, you are extremely lucky I didn't get a concussion and no one else was hurt for that matter.
Starting point is 00:34:06 The incident was reported to the Grand Rapids Police Department. Fortunately, the staff at the woods were nice enough to waive my cover charge to get in, as I was one of the victims in this situation. And covered in egg, and they were like, please just get away from me. You're dripping everywhere. The people who did this saw others out enjoying their night and had nothing better to do with their time than try to ruin that however you didn't ruin my night and in fact gave me a crazy story to talk about i still went in and had fun danced and i rocked my egg
Starting point is 00:34:37 hair for the night so jokes on you and a review what in the goddamn world roller coaster what um is this like an event space? Like what was happening? Yeah, I think it's like a bar, Grand Woods Lounge. And people were in line to get in. Oh, and it's like next to the apartment complex? It's like presumably across the street. I see.
Starting point is 00:35:02 I mean, that does... They have like music there. That does make for some prime Target practice. Yeah. So, the one... Like, so this is terrible. I would hate it if someone threw an egg at me. No, I would be, like, so beyond furious.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Like, I don't think I would have enjoyed the rest of my night good for her. I would have been fucking pissed off. But anyway, go on. But what you do is you call the police you contact the the apartment building complex get the police talking to them whatever and do that why are you writing a one-star review yeah it's not the complex but also writing it as if you're talking to the people living there as if they're affected by this one-star review they're not gonna go on yelp to read reviews they're busy throwing eggs at strangers those but i don't know those those people they might be listeners and they might be like oh good now we're being talked about on this podcast yeah as fucking egg heads rapscallions
Starting point is 00:35:55 rapscallions is that a word i don't know i hooligans can't stand these people oh no the egg throwers they sound like big bullies yeah no that's terrible but also the apartment complex responded and said we are like they apologized refused so they said they're working with the police they're trying to yeah they're they want to figure it out they don't want people like that living in their place hard objects at people i'm sorry it's just not a thing that you can do yeah especially from a height like that i swear to god you probably could have hit someone and gave him a concussion it's it's not okay no it's not although there was that one video i just saw recently where someone was throwing like their friend was in the kitchen and they were like had a bag of marshmallows but they put an egg in there
Starting point is 00:36:39 and so they were like oh hey catch this marshmallow and they would throw a marshmallow and the guy would catch it keep cooking whatever a little bit, hey, catch this marshmallow. And they would throw a marshmallow and the cat should keep cooking, whatever. A little bit later, oh, here, catch another marshmallow. Caught it, like kept cooking. Then he's like, oh, here's another marshmallow. But he'd throw the egg and it hit him right in the mouth and got all, it was disgusting. Absolutely nasty. Okay, well, in that case, it's allowed.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Yeah. If it's your friend in the kitchen and you're playing a prank, that's one thing. If you're throwing eggs at strangers who are trying to enjoy their night. Also, if you're putting it on YouTube for viral content that I will enjoy it to in the morning, then go for it. Maybe. If it's all staged. Maybe check with us first. Just check with us.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Why not? We're the authority. We're the authorities. But yeah, Callie, that was not okay that that happened to you. I'm sorry, Callie. I am sorry. It is a little funny. Good on you, though, for going out, enjoying your night.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Rocking that egg hair. I love that. I was like... Rocking that egg hair. That made me feel a little bit better at the end. Yeah, I feel bad. That really sucks. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:37:35 It is not the best way to go about it, because I guarantee you those people in apartment 605 are not on Yelp looking at... Wait, how did you know? Was that you? Fuck, why did I give it away you we have a place at the castle we have a place at the something on bond that we've got a place at arena place now that was supposed to be my she shed your she shed just for me oh no that's from the state farm commercial just full of eggs all state or state farm it doesn't matter. It makes me laugh. Full of eggs. Oh, so many eggs. Only eggs. Allie's mom has a she shed. I love a she shed. I want a she shed one
Starting point is 00:38:09 day. I don't think I'm allowed to have one, but I want one anyway. I love a she shed and now it's covered in eggs. Okay. All right. Wow. That was a wild ride we just went on. Grand Rapids, you sound fun. Yeah, I mean, this was, it was fun. Illuminating. And it was, a lot of them were kind of just enjoyable reviews, and it's like, huh. Like a lot of the ones I read, it was enjoyable. Good people. I hope you enjoy that, because it's about to go way downhill.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Okay, so before we get into our... What? okay so before we get into our um what before we get into our uh the challenge i'd like to give a little shout out to miranda uh in washington what did we do no miranda recognized me oh gosh i heard about this oh my god and i felt so bad yeah well so i was in line in like kelso washington okay yeah because i was just got home from a weekend away with Allie. Yes, literally today after our flight got canceled. It's been a freaking weekend. But I was in line at the haunted house with Allie and her family.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Maybe we're about to have some fun. No. No. We're in line at a haunted house. I'm so scared of haunted houses. Yeah, Alexander and I don't know why you did this. We don't do those. So I was scared, but I was also less than sober i was
Starting point is 00:39:26 not sober at all i was so out of it yeah i didn't really know where i was i didn't know what was going on i wish i could show y'all the text and all of a sudden i hear are you alex from beach water to it and i am like i'm not sure me um no at least they didn't say bad boy of pot it would have been so yes that's true it would have been so much no that was also funny when that happened but um ali's family was just like oh my god oh they were losing their shit were they all dad was like literally cheering oh yeah okay good so you weren't the only odd one in this scenario yeah and ali was like hey you want a picture with him or you can get one with my dad like she made this like joke i thought it was really funny i mean and later she was like i can't believe i said that and i was like oh it was funny and like i think we just made her uh very uncomfortable well
Starting point is 00:40:18 yeah i mean she did walk into an entire uh family affair a less than sober family affair she was very friendly it was really well that's sweet yeah no it was nice um and then i i did some instagram stalking and found the picture well i didn't think we were gonna say that but yes he did yeah he found the picture like a crazy person and i looked just as sober as i was and he zoomed in on the face and sent me the picture of just the face and said when someone at hold on i'm gonna read it verbatim when someone asks are you alex from bhc sandy and you don't know the answer and it's just alex like have i i think that's gonna that should be our instagram um and i just wrote back pick for the week idiot because i was like i'm going to bed okay that screenshot is gonna be that our
Starting point is 00:41:03 pick for the week okay good it's a good one um so thank you miranda for making my brother uncomfortable it makes me no i was fine i just felt bad i was like did i make her really uncomfortable because i was really out of it we usually make most people uncomfortable so i laughed the whole way through that haunted house so that was hilarious oh good it was a lot of fun by the way that was a really cool one i don't like that no i have laughs they were really good about it they were really good it was really creepy maybe i'll go to that one they breathed on me a lot ew fun in my ear and stuff what the fuck okay um all right should i do my challenge i think we're ready all right ingrid thank you for sending this this is uh a challenge to find a review by a flat earther it was too easy really so easy that it actually makes me a little bit upset and i had to
Starting point is 00:41:57 watch the office before i went to bed it's one of those things that like scares you that it exists it got too far prevalent on the internet it's like when you find one of those yelpers where you're like wow this person is like detestable toward humanity um did you ever get to a point where you're like you know this guy has a point no she's literally sitting here wearing a sweatshirt that says space camp oh my god i didn't even realize so not sure what that means i'm so happy i wore my i got this at the huntsville space center and small writing it says that the moon landing was faked i don't know why that's written on there well see there's a camera on the side of this little drawing is that stanley kubrick is that yes wow how did you know yeah oh yeah you're wearing your space camp
Starting point is 00:42:42 i am and i i've supported nasa with purchase, so actually that's such an interesting connection you just made there. Okay, so I... Oh, God. Blaze literally had to set a timer. He set a 10-minute timer on his phone and said, after 10 minutes, you need to close these tabs. What? Because I was getting so worked up. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Yes, it's bad. Okay, so let's just go. Flat Earther. close these tabs because i was getting so worked up oh my god yes it's bad okay so let's just go flat earther i found a review by a guy named x broker let's just say this man has many things and one of those things is a flat earther or a what do they call it a globe earth deny global earth denier or science denier there's all sorts of words for it so ex-broker wrote a one-star review of back to health chiropractic if you're a male and you have any evidence that you even might have a spine on your social media get it off of there if you want to be treated here how creepy is it that they would look up my information on social media and i get the impression they've researched where I live,
Starting point is 00:43:47 which happens to be a very nice community. This is not the first time locally that this has happened to me. Oh, by the way, he's also very paranoid. You'll catch on to that. There is an extremely weird level of materialism here to the point they will do things like this. I don't know what... What is happening? I don't know what that means. We'll get to the flatter stuff will do things like this i don't know what is happening i don't
Starting point is 00:44:06 know what that means we'll get to the flatter stuff soon okay can't wait i started to notice they were looking at my facebook page when my massage therapist started trying to debate me by saying the earth is a ball parentheses while giving me a massage. Seriously? This is just a coincidence that you'd bring up things that are all over my Facebook page, and that a flat earther doesn't want to hear when they're trying to relax? I could care less if you agree with anything I've researched or put on my social media. Then, the next week, I asked for a form for the VA and the pissed off female at the desk scribbled her name on something and basically threw it at me. It wasn't dated and
Starting point is 00:44:53 didn't say why I was there so it was basically worthless for VA purposes. Which by the way I'll be contacting the choice program about this and see that you get kicked off of the program. I sent an email to the chiropractor that owns the place and told her what her receptionist did to me. And the next time I went there, the chiropractor tried to dress me down and act all condescending and self-important. She said, we don't tolerate angry man syndrome very well here. I wasn't aware she had a degree in psychology. I told her, well, I don't do well with angry female syndrome. Ha ha. So, saying your receptionist didn't give me what the VA asked for is angry man syndrome?
Starting point is 00:45:32 Well, saying you're wrong is probably sexist too, right? Ha ha. These females have had their ass kissed for so long by morons, they don't know how to act around a man who has a mind of his own and is professional enough not to bring up private topics in professional settings. Too bad they don't have such reserve. I could see they were getting progressively more pissed off with each passing visit, but I didn't put it all together until they made up an excuse to no longer treat me. She said her email must not have gone through so we had to discuss it in person,
Starting point is 00:46:03 with her hand on her hip probably, haha. what she really wanted was for me to drive all the way there and back and leave without being treated can you say passive aggressive stay away if you still have your balls can you imagine if an all-male business did this to an organization that had mostly females that is what she's trying to do here by using the Veterans Choice Program to bully people who believe things she doesn't agree with. Anyway, that's the review. Ew. I see what you mean now. At the beginning, you're like, well, he's a flat earther and he's a lot of other things. I thought you were going to say like, he was going to talk about all this stuff he knew about that he was like, no, he was going to talk about all this stuff he knew about.
Starting point is 00:46:45 That he was like... No, he's terrible. He's just a bad guy. That was icky. I actually found out a lot of things. And I feel a little bit ignorant and, like, kind of embarrassed that I didn't know these things about flat... Like, I've watched... Oh, that it's deeper than just...
Starting point is 00:46:58 Yes. Than just thinking the Earth is flat. It's not just, like, goofy, haha. It's, like, there's some really dark shit that these people because it's one of those underground communities where you find like-minded people yes and and it seems to crop up it's like it becomes a cesspool of like yes and i think that happens with a lot of different fandoms with different yeah it kind of draws maybe a certain type of person and then they they kind of pull into, pull their not so favorable thoughts and beliefs. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Into their rhetoric and otherwise. So I obviously went on his Yelp page. A hairy underbelly, I'm sure. Oh, it's so hairy. You should see this guy's face. No, I'm just kidding. I'm talking about his belly here. Oh, yikes.
Starting point is 00:47:44 I didn't look at that. i bet that chiropractor did we should probably call that's probably why she was like god this an underbelly so hairy this guy probably thinks the earth is flat she was right she's like i give her credit i just think this guy thinks that she's stalked there so his social media like i bet honestly he probably brought it up some way or somehow because it seems like he relates it to every conversation he ever has and so the fact that he thinks oh well she said the earth is round she must be stalking my social media it's like no there's probably a reason that this came up i don't know yeah i don't think that someone would randomly say
Starting point is 00:48:20 the earth is a ball yeah did you know that do you agree because normally that shouldn't be said it shouldn't need to be said also like if i were a massage therapist the last thing i want to do is start like arguing with someone so like i would not bring that up i don't know but maybe they're just bored and wanted to have some fun with someone who had problems sounds like they had some fun in one way or another all right so now the onto the hairiness so went on to his yelp page now one of the things i'm just going to describe some of the shit that he's written he also has a blog obviously um one of the things that i found on his blog unfortunately is that quote i can no longer post amazon reviews as they blocked me because I tend to tell the truth. So unfortunately, all of his reviews on Amazon have been blocked.
Starting point is 00:49:08 So this person has some agenda and is reviewing things based on an agenda and not due to anything factual. Oh, yeah. A lot of the things he reviewed, he seemed to have no relation to. He just went through and was like trying to spout his weird ideology. So, however, there was another chiropractor that he reviewed. Oh, okay. Seaside Family Chiropractic. One star.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Could be the greatest chiro in the world. Any man with any self-respect would never know. Couldn't get past the nasty attitude and non-existent bedside manner of this feminazi gatekeeper he white knighted for her when i started to call her on her man-hating bs i walked good luck with that heartburn doc end of review wow yeah you know what this person has issues i'm gonna tell you something please i'm i'm not i feel like i'm worse off than i know this information but too bad you're gonna have to learn it um i learned that uh this man uh ex-broker is part of something called migto m-g-t-o-w have you you heard about this? No. It's called Men Going Their Own Way.
Starting point is 00:50:27 It's an anti-feminist... Oh, it's like the Fleetwood Mac song. Got it. Yeah, but it's covered by Abba the Concert. Not Abba the Tour, not Abba the Concert. Got it. Fleetwood Mac the Concert. Men Going Their Own Way is an anth... This is according to Wikipedia. Fleetwood Mac the concert men going their own way
Starting point is 00:50:46 as an anti-feminist mostly online community advocating for men to separate themselves from a society which they see as harmful to men and apparently it goes beyond MRA like men's rights activists because it's like they literally separate themselves from all women. Like that's the goal, like completely.
Starting point is 00:51:08 And on his blog, he also uses the term Jewtube. He also believes that the mosque shootings in New Zealand were a hoax perpetrated by Verizon Wireless. Wow, that's specific. I haven't heard that theory. I don't want to either. Actually, he puts all the words, he put all these words into like a calculator that like gave you a a numeral and then if you add them up they add to the same number and so he was convinced that like so he typed in like
Starting point is 00:51:35 mosque killer serpent verizon and then it all came back like 34 and he's like this proves oh no collusion it's really why i mean i had to get off there what about a cesspool you're what the hell did you get into this is why i promise i get back to like flat earth soon i i just i i had to i don't know i don't know why i did this this is hairy you you got into something hairy. I got into something hairy, and it's hard for me to get out. You mean you're one of them now? And you just can't get out of there? I'm not one of them. I just signed up for the newsletter, but I promised I would just go enjoy a free appetizer and leave.
Starting point is 00:52:20 This is the last review of his. Okay. This is a review of Brian J. Attorney. One star. I think this about says it all regarding what appears to be the focus of this guy's law practice. Child support and alimony are unconstitutional. End of review. So he also believes like giving money to women to support raising children is unconstitutional.
Starting point is 00:52:47 money to women to support raising children is unconstitutional um definitely he is bitter and divorced and his son doesn't speak to him i found out that in some other reviews so it seems like there's some trouble happening in his life and he found a community that accepted him um just the way he is yes which is and probably made him worse yes Yes. That's terrible. It's pretty bad. Now, where's the last one? Oh, no. Did I lose it? Oh, maybe I didn't even put the review. But it... Shoot.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Well, I have the photo of it. It was a review of a local school district. And it was basically like Wi-Fi burning the children's brains or something. If they don't get that Wi-Fi out of their school system. And then this is a picture. It's a picture of two children holding what seem to be razor flip phones. And it's a drawing. And the children have tumors in their brains.
Starting point is 00:53:43 Oh, Jesus Christ. And the caption is ATN tumor. That's a Nokia. He is. It is a Nokia, huh? He is one of those people that believes that electromagnetic frequencies are killing us all. You're missing out on the, there's a radio tower in the background. Oh, I see it.
Starting point is 00:54:00 A cell tower, I mean. I see it. Is that what tumors look like? Interesting. Yeah, I asked Blaze and he said, wow, that's Like a cell tower, I mean. I see it. Is that what tumors look like? Interesting. Yeah, I asked Blaze and he said, wow, that's really a great rendition. I mean, I'm going to print that out so I can use it at work. Smart. It also is interesting that they're both left-handed.
Starting point is 00:54:17 So it's their left side of their brain receiving the tumor. Oh, I mean, that does make... Receiving, is that the right word for this? I think so. Receiving? Yes. Yes. Downloading? Yes, there it is. One might say? the tumor oh i mean that does receiving is that the right word for this i think so receiving yes yes downloading download yes there it is one might say yeah oh um well this is bad yeah this person has gone somewhere somewhere somewhere somewhere far away um geez here's Jeez. It's of Cave Creek Unified School District. This is what accompanies the photo.
Starting point is 00:54:51 Typical smug attitude. Too bad we can't have these people arrested for sterilizing and dumbing down the children with the Y-fry in the public schools. Y-fry? That's what it was. That's catchy. I knew there was a clever pun in there somewhere. That's catchy. Oh, yeah. Anyway. why fry that's what i knew there was a clever pun in there somewhere that's catchy oh yeah anyway that was credit scores 806
Starting point is 00:55:10 that's cool that's impressive he reviewed something called puppy zone and wrote why am i not surprised okay okay where's blaze to snap you out of this i know i was really bad i'm sorry. Okay, I'm going back to like the more like lighthearted stuff. Oh, nice. Thank you. Well, actually, no, not quite. But we're moving away from X-Proker.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Okay, moving away from X-Proker. Thank God. So then I went on Amazon because I was like, I'm sure there's some fun stuff about globes or, you know, who knows. I found a book called The Greatest Lie on Earth, Proof that Our World is Not a Moving Globe. And I found a lot of five-star reviews. This five-star review is by Ryan. The final half of the book turns toward the pervasive influence of Judaism throughout the world, including science. This was an unexpected twist, but it fit perfectly fit perfectly and again it dovetails nicely with my research
Starting point is 00:56:07 into the holocaust zionism false flags etc but the book's primary shortcoming is that it does not address the issue of satellites end of review but i'm glad they talked about judaism oh yeah these people are in this the people that i read on these five surveys were hardcore anti-semites yeah i did not know this was part of the i did it all part of it this is all fucked up it's bad and that whole pizza gate thing yes you know like that whole i mean it's it's this is all like it seems funny all the false flags like it's so scary this shit it seems funny on the surface until you really are like hold on oh because it's weirdly hand in hand you're right yeah yeah that is something that a lot of the reviews were like oh this is thank god this is biblically based to finally like shut down all
Starting point is 00:56:54 the like youtube media that tells i mean it's it's like literally youtube is where you see all this bullshit flat earth stuff so i don't understand they put their free crazy i don't understand um what's like weird mental gymnastics they're going through just to like just to like i don't know well and then the funny thing was like reading it it's like oh you sheeple like believing i know that's one of your favorite words believing everything you hear and it's like that's not the case that's not what's happening you're just being convinced to like uh support some horribly hateful underlying beliefs you have that align with they already have these beliefs and they want to find anything that supports it oh yeah even if it's the loosest thing possible oh yeah and if they find like-minded people they
Starting point is 00:57:42 cling to them and they're like yeah you were right the jews oh my god it's out of control and so i found that all over so i got really depressed but the last two are just very light-hearted there is no more anti-semitism in these okay particular reviews okay because my stomach hurts i know i was very ill last night um so this is a review of the flat earth map. There are many of these. It is called Map of the Square and Stationary Earth, poster 24 by 18. Now, I don't know if you know what the flat earth looks like. I believe there's ice underneath.
Starting point is 00:58:18 So there's ice walls. Ice walls around it. Polar walls that surround it so that we don't fall off the edge. Last I heard there were like military, like government military blocking. Yeah, they want to keep us from the ice walls. Yes. This sounds much like Game of Thrones, which interestingly it said related products, George R.R. Martin. That's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Books, but that's fine. But so it had these ice walls and then underneath it's kind of like this big rock that's right okay yeah if you if that makes sense like it looks like an iceberg sort of and then with ice walls and then we're all on top and then the moon and the sun just kind of rotate up there hang out with us up there so uh md gave this map five stars the map is well made and i give it five stars but it was all creased when we got it because it was mailed in a flat bubble mailer not everything needs to be flat guys oh no like maybe he has some hope oh no, no. Maybe. Oh, no. The saddest thing was when I read, yeah, my son-in-law told me about this, and I'm starting
Starting point is 00:59:29 to find it pretty interesting. And I'm like, no, it's spreading. I see people, like, falling into this kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Anyway, so that one was kind of funny. I was like, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Yeah. That's you, MRD. Now stop it. I was like, okay, okay, I see you, MRD. Now stop it. Okay, this last one is of the Armagh Astronomy Center and Planetarium. I believe in Scotland. This is a four-star review by Discman1978.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Oh, no, Discman. Tim, step down. Is that you? Discman1978 says, Great day out with the family. I particularly enjoyed the solar system display and the moon landing portrayal. As a flat earther, I was disappointed not to see the great polar ice walls which hold the oceans in,
Starting point is 01:00:22 but the gift shop was adequately stocked with soft toys for my young daughter which more than made up for it end of review poor child i know i was like they're procreating it's spreading yeah uh i liked how like he was like well i loved the portrayal of the moon landing god that was entertaining and i love the it's so weird the solar system is in quote unquote solar system like it makes you wonder like is there anything that i'm that wrong about and i'm gonna be i'm gonna be on this they're just wrong this is just stupid sorry to me well i don't know give it a give it no i've i've watched all of that shit oh i watched a lot of it i'm totally fucking kidding.
Starting point is 01:01:06 It's actually really sad because you watch it and you're like, oh, there's, like you said, so much deeper shit going on here. And it's all pretty dark. Like, it's not like lighthearted fun and games. It's like these people are trying to prove something to themselves. Yeah, it's not harmless. No, it's not harmless. It's not harmless. And it's actually like quite disturbing. and especially on the internet nowadays when they
Starting point is 01:01:28 can find their communities i mean we know what happens when yeah people find their awful compatriots on the internet um but yeah so i like that this guy was at least like oh they had great stuffed animals true even though the earth doesn't revolve around the sun. I was like, oh, I mean, okay. At least they have, you know, polar bears. Did you see that conspiracy theory about the Titanic? No. That, like, the Titanic wasn't actually the Titanic. It was one of its sister ships.
Starting point is 01:01:58 And it was like, but they had all the advertising and they, like, used the parts. It was like this whole thing. And I got really into it. I was reading it. And then I actually found some, like, someone had evidence. they had all the advertising and they like use the parts from it was like this whole thing and i got really into it i was reading it and then i actually found some like someone had evidence so it was like well actually this picture was not real and this is proof that it was the actual titanic right doesn't make sense and i was like oh shoot that was fun while it lasted i mean it you know like conspiracies are so fun stuff like that can be very fun and sometimes sometimes conspiracies
Starting point is 01:02:23 turn out to be true and i there are some conspiracies that i fully believe have at least like a foothold in some truth and stuff still happens like that today absolutely today's government stuff comes out and absolutely i totally believe in all sorts of shady shit in the cia and elsewhere so i'm not saying every believe everything you hear but like there's a certain point where you have to kind of step back and look at yourself and look at what you're reading and think like and it's it's very obvious that a lot of this is so much deeper than oh i believe that the earth is flat it's like i believe that there is a massive cover-up by the jewish media and it becomes very very troubling problematic
Starting point is 01:03:01 and and science is all lying to us and it's like that's just a dangerous path to go down friend yes and i'm not saying the government is our you know life savior but i'm not also not saying like i know fucking hide out in your basement and post horrible things about women on the internet and that'll help i mean i don't know buy your daughter a stuffed animal be like discman 1978 that'd be like discman 1970 find find a line where you can go into a planetarium and have a good time yes i mean come on it's like it's like a creationist who goes into like a evolution museum i was like huh that's interesting they had a nice gift shop you know or like go i feel like come on come on come on that should tell you
Starting point is 01:03:48 enough yeah we're done do you like hearing us what's the word proselytize sure that seems about right yeah that got out of hand yeah sorry i i i don't think i realized how out of hand it would get. I mean, but that is a troubling topic. It is. And one that isn't, not on the surface. I mean, on the plane I did draw. On the very flat surface. I was going to say the surface. On the plane I did watch one of the documentaries.
Starting point is 01:04:18 I forget which one it was. It came out pretty recently this year. And it's fascinating because they're like interviewing one-on-one all of these people and their families who are like i don't know like he just got into this weird thing and like you know my son he lived like literally i'm not just poking fun but she's like yeah he lives in the basement he got all these drones he's been flying them around collecting evidence that like yeah and it's just angry and so. And it's like, I think this is some sort of deep seated issue pointing in other directions.
Starting point is 01:04:49 So that's that. If you're a flat earther, whoops. Bye. Bye. Just listen. Just listen. Go to space camp. Oh yeah, go to space camp.
Starting point is 01:05:02 Go to Huntsville, Alabama. They have the funnest space center or better yet just skip this episode i mean it's too late now or that but or hopefully you forget your itunes password so you can't leave us a one-star there it is the dream yes okay good all right so that's that anyway oh that was fun while i lasted though it's sort of sort of all right so do you want to give me my theme for next week? Sure. Let me think of one.
Starting point is 01:05:26 Great. In the meantime, you can find my blog xbroker.blogspot.wiki.com I hope that wasn't real. No, it wasn't real. In the meantime, you can find us online.
Starting point is 01:05:40 We are Beach2Sandy on all social media. You can find us on Patreon at patreon.com slash beach2sandy Thank you. We are Beach Too Sandy on all social media. You can find us on Patreon at... Patreon.com slash Beach Too Sandy. Thank you. You can find us on YouTube at YouTube.com slash C slash Beach Too Sandy. Water Too Wet.
Starting point is 01:05:55 And you can email us at BeachTooSandy at gmail.com with any theme suggestions, challenge suggestions, or Between You and Us reviews that you find on the internet that we might feature in the next episode yeah what's my theme your theme is golf courses in des moines iowa okay golf courses that's fun we haven't done that yet that seems right down your alley it is i i will be golfing twice between now and next episode so oh, God. So you're going to really be in the... Oh, I'll be in the mood. In the spirit. Okay, so I had written one down.
Starting point is 01:06:30 I'm not kidding, Alexander. And it was from the same email from Ingrid and Fat Cat Cora. Really? Yeah. So I was like, oh, dear. Well, this is Fat Cat Cora and Ingrid's episode. Yes, it is. That's true.
Starting point is 01:06:42 And so this is one that I'm really excited about. And I'd put it in my notes without even remembering so this is one that I'm really excited about. And I'd put it in my notes without even remembering where I came from. I just searched for it. This is your challenge. It is to find a review from Florida where an alligator was somewhere it should not have been. Oh, good. That actually goes hand in hand with mine. With alligators? golf courses yeah um and also i also happen to type in alligators in our we type in the weirdest shit in our uh search bar yes but in our gmail but um jamie also had sent in this idea in january to to look at alligator encounters okay so i think that's kind of hand in hand well ingrid and jamie thank you very much
Starting point is 01:07:24 ingrid we're probably going to mention you every episode from here on out sorry sorry about that um but we are we love you a lot and we're sending our love to you we are um anyway so that's that i'm excited golf courses and alligators yep as we head out of summer deep into winter perfect um oh and we're migrating to florida oh perfect speaking of which are you gonna do that whole thing where you tan your entire body and get a really leathery so you look like an alligator i got a spray tan today oh no joke i'm so leather you couldn't tell earlier you were like holy shit there's an alligator yeah in my podcast room yeah and i was like i have the perfect challenge idea um yes i'm going to be floating around like a log. Perfect.
Starting point is 01:08:06 But you'll actually be an alligator. Because I'd like to watch your nuptials. Yep. Listen to like four episodes or five episodes ago if you want to know what's going on. Hope you're not new. Okay. Okay. Talk to you next week, everyone.
Starting point is 01:08:19 Bye. The earth is flat. It's round. It is a ball. I did get confused. It is a ball. I did get confused. It is a round, round ball. I knew they sucked you in. Bye.

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