Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - Between You And Us: Episode 22

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:23 Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. Students, get $100 when you open an RBC Advantage banking account, which includes no monthly fee, unlimited debit transactions in Canada, Avion points on debit purchases. And so, so much more. Unlock more perks for less with RBC Vantage. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 30th, 2024. New eligible clients only. Complete criteria by August 30th, 2024. Visit rbc.com slash student100. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello!
Starting point is 00:01:39 Welcome to that time of the month. This is Beachy Sandy Water to it. This is the episode where we read reviews sent in by you via email that you found on the internet that you think were funny and that we then also thought were funny so decided to read them that's a trademark so i would suggest you don't try and steal that phrase i know it's catchy you know the slogan is something you might want to take um but we people have tried copyrighted that people have tried there's a whole graveyard of podcasts out there that we've ruined with our lawyers because they
Starting point is 00:02:10 tried to um steal that phrase we have an entire team of lawyers yeah so this is your final warning final so anyway on that note welcome to our show this is a our march episode that's coming out on this third to last day of march so just don't worry about it it is a monday in march which we release these on mondays usually not the final monday but that's okay what more do you want yeah you get what you get wow we're getting really antagonistic today i also want to add that we just recorded a bonus episode for patreon and it was a saint patrick's day also very belated theme um but it was very fun we did some qbc some apps some common sense media so you know if you're on the good stuff the good stuff all the good the prime content so it's patrons look out for that i'm not i think they're releasing same time i don't know oh true we don't even know
Starting point is 00:03:03 when that's coming out. We haven't. We literally just recorded it. But yeah, probably if it's not out now, it'll be out within the next couple days. Yes. So that's patreon.com slash speech to Sandy. It'll be out before the end of March is why I say the next couple days. Because we owe you a March one. We do.
Starting point is 00:03:21 It's coming. Anyway, I'm going to go first. This one is from Mayab. Mayab?-e-a-b-h she her in the bonus episode you called someone named jean jean so i don't really trust your pronunciation at this point but um i'm just gonna guess what this is of irish origin according to google so uh should i have looked how to pronounce it probably sorry i looked up the meaning and it says she who intoxicates oh okay so why don't you just say this is from she who intoxicates this is from she who intoxicates she her um i was about to say maybe we should check their pronouns before we call them she who intoxicated no i i already read she her pro i said it already
Starting point is 00:04:05 okay so she found this gem of a review in a facebook travel group so here it is this is a trip advisor uh review of the palms it's which is a resort here we go one star my wife and i went to this resort beautiful resort water sand pool and service amazing we had such a good time that i husband decided to fly home to get our son tom i think they should call it dh like we all know it should be there's a certain dh linguistic rule you have to follow on forums yeah fair i'll reach out i'll reach out to this person thanks we had We had such a good time that I, husband, decided to fly home to get our son, Tom, enjoy it also. When I returned, things seemed awkward. My wife eventually told me that she went to a massage while I was picking up our son,
Starting point is 00:04:57 and the masseuse seduced her and spent the night with her. I am not blaming the resort for this. This is my wife's fault but just know that this is the thing that can happen at this resort end of review oh my god what on earth i don't know i really like my jaw just dropped i because i heard like oh i picked up my son and flew back and i was like this is weird and then it is a weird thing and i thought it was going to be related to them being like i my initial thought as i was going through it was this is going to be something where it brings their son and they're like you can't bring a child this is
Starting point is 00:05:41 a couple's resort right like i assume it was something like that, where it's like, this is not an appropriate place for a child. And then that happened. So... This is not an appropriate place for a child, but it is an appropriate place for extramarital affairs. Well, I guess it's not an appropriate place for, or is one for couples who are struggling. Man, this reminds me of my challenge.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Speaking of DH and DS, this reminds me of my challenge speaking of dh and ds this reminds me of um my challenge of finding cruise ship reviews that mention divorce okay remember you brought up dh not me i know but this time like this yes i understand why it would and i didn't i don't want to be reminded of it myself okay well to be fair earlier i didn't even remember the challenge until you pulled out a candle that we got from a lovely gifter the everett candle company the everett candle company who made a candle called it is incredible divorce on a cruise ship i think it was divorce on a cruise a divorce on a cruise i mean that just brought me back to my cruise ship days and this really stop saying your cruise ship days
Starting point is 00:06:46 you literally went on a cruise ship forum like within a week probably a handful of times and now you're talking about it as if it's like your your cruise days back when you were a cool cruiser my ccd um stop anyway this is just so mind but i don't even know what to do with this i'm i'm sorry that's all i have to say yeah and the candle smells incredible by the way yeah i'm really upset because i haven't smelled it yet and i want to smell it so i'm hoarding all of them right now i i have this one and i've baron of cream and i've zandy's praline latte sitting in front of me this is like the biggest three different candles uh compliment and kindness gift i think i've ever gotten so thank you ever candle company anyway let's get back to this i'm
Starting point is 00:07:29 just gonna leave you behind because i can't deal with that review anymore and i feel really sad about it so this is a review from megan and it says i've seen my fair share of crazy reviews but this one takes the cake my sister drove past a sign in this man's front yard that included this web address okay so here's the web address it's alaska airlines scum of the skies.com so now you click on this website alaska a lot well maybe you'll uh here i'll show you the picture it says this, this is the header of the website. It says, Boycott Alaska Airlines, Scum of the Skies. Now I'm going to read you the homepage.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Have you ever been treated like a criminal? Have you ever been mad enough to boycott an airline? Well, I have. Let's imagine having a first-class ticket so you can get a little rest on your flight home from work. You walk up to your seat and find the gentleman next to you has his bag under your seat back. Meanwhile, his legs are stretched out comfortably. You reach down and move his bag from your space. The guy in the window seat flips out.
Starting point is 00:08:38 You are tired and do not want a confrontation, just a nap. So you lean back and close your eyes and listen to his rambling. He makes several telephone calls complaining of harassment and discrimination. After 10 minutes of listening to his accusations, the stewardess approaches you. She asks you to join her. You are escorted from the airplane. After a few minutes, a supervisor joins you. She says you are being removed from the flight for harassing this gentleman. You are so upset you call a lawyer. You write letters to the CEO of the company. You file complaints
Starting point is 00:09:10 with the FAA and the Port Authority. Mostly the complaints fall on deaf ears. Your response from the airline claims you are removed from the flight for endangering the safety of passengers and crew. Yes, you heard me right. Moving a homosexual is back. What? yes you heard me right moving a homosexual's back what
Starting point is 00:09:26 i know he had you hooked huh well get ready wait okay okay i was like there's something happened there this person claims that all of this happened without saying a word right they haven't admitted to saying they tried to take a nap yeah well all they did was ignore them they moved a bag a little bit or something is what they're saying leaned back closed their eyes and ignored everything and apparently that was enough to get kicked off the plane yeah for endangering the safety of passengers that's all you did i'm sure okay especially with that last line holy fuck well not last oh it's not the last but close moving a homosexual's bag from your space endangers the
Starting point is 00:10:04 safety of the flight last time i checked it is a felony to endanger a flight so why wasn't i arrested because alaska airlines lied about my behavior to justify their poor decisions if you are a christian heterosexual male you will have no rights aboard an alaska airlines flight oh is that why you fly what a usually yeah i've never heard you complain, so I don't know how that happened. True. That's true. I got their credit card because of that. Oh, I see. If you're a Christian heterosexual male, you will have no rights aboard an Alaska Airlines flight. I most strongly urge you to choose a reputable airline on your next adventure.
Starting point is 00:10:40 I would also like to thank everyone for your continued support. And special thanks to the individuals that keep stealing my signs. I am happy you like them. God bless. File your airline complaints with the U.S. Department of Transportation at airconsumer.ost.dot.gov slash problems.htm. So, that's cool. That's the homepage. There are more pages? Well, there's two more pages.
Starting point is 00:11:07 One is called Alaska Airlines Sucks, and it's for comments. What's the first page called? Oh, Home. Oh, okay. That makes sense. So Alaska Airlines Sucks just has comments. There are only two. Did you just say Alaska Airlines Sucks?
Starting point is 00:11:24 Alaska Airlines Sucks page. Okay, you did not say Alaska Airlines sucks? Alaska Airlines sucks page. Okay, you did not say it that well. Okay, that clearly. A-S-S. Oh, that's not even right. A-A-S. The page. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:11:34 The page. It's for comments, for public comments. There are only two. So that's good. He's got a lot of traction. Anything good in there? Nothing too? You know, it's just like.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Same old, same old same old well joe wrote sexuals are ruining alaska pretty much yeah joe commented alaska airlines is out of control i too have been screwed over by alaska airlines it is nice to see one to see someone take the effort to piss on their leg my hat is off to you sir for standing up for your rights um standing up to your for your right what right to what be an asshole yep and harass people uh here's another comment by ns this morning i decided i drove past to look up your website as i read my anxiety level skyrocketed i had a situation a number of years ago while boarding an aa flight i hadn't realized it but i have not gotten over how I was treated years ago until I've read your story.
Starting point is 00:12:26 The feelings of being wronged, being mistreated came back. I just want to send you a note to let you know your sign is effective and that you are not alone. So that's probably also written by, you know, the guy who made this website, but I can't prove that. True, yeah. So now, finally, the third page. Here's a description on on home page uh feel free to leave your comments on page two alaska airline sucks and t-shirts and bumper stickers are available on page three oh did you get me one so i clicked t-shirts and here we go
Starting point is 00:12:56 t-shirts and bumper stickers are now available we also have yard signs and magnetic car door signs it is amazing how much attention these signs receive uh he also said that they are a hit at the airport so let me show you here's a t-shirt really professionally um displayed on his living room floor okay nice and then here's the car magnet okay less nice oops it looks terrible it's massive it's like so then a bumper sticker. Then the bumper sticker. But that car magnet, like, took up a big chunk of the driver's side door. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Real classy. Put it on your Honda. So, in any case... Why are you boycotting them? Oh, let me tell you about this homosexual who I... Seriously, can you imagine anybody actually being like, can you tell me more about your car magnet? Insan scum of the skies so anyway thank you megan and your sister for uh finding this disaster the end i for one appreciate it and i will be um
Starting point is 00:14:01 flying alaska even more now with the like renewed fervor it's horrifying i mean this website folks could just go to the website just to look i i don't urge you to buy any merchandise because i don't think we should be sponsoring this fellow's uh quote-unquote mission but probably not you should take a look at the banner the banner is pretty brilliant boycott alaska airlines scum of the sky it's pretty brilliant stuff so it's exactly what it sounds like yeah it's like exactly how you picture it literally just i will say there is a warning on my browser that says this website is not secure not that i'm surprised by that but just a warning and oh the creator of website is called one pissed off customer yeah so let's not send people here thank you okay i mean you can check it out i i've thoroughly enjoyed myself and you know i i'm not gonna tell
Starting point is 00:14:51 you to do it she's still on it right now like scrolling i can tell she's like looking down at her laptop like i'm planning some things i don't know writing a comment so the end your turn the end okay well i've got one something from kate who uh says i was looking at reviews of a new show my three-year-old is watching on netflix called gabby's dollhouse she and i love it but apparently this little fella has very strong feelings here is a review of uh gabby's dollhouse written by well you'll see one star i am a 10 year old boy i like cats but not teddy bear ones gabby's dollhouse stinks a lot and it literally does i watched the trailer and it's so bad and it's looks totally fake never ever watch this tv show don't listen to those positive comments in conclusion the show
Starting point is 00:15:48 is fake and weird i mean what is a hug attack and why does my sister like it get rid of the show if anyone who is the cast of this show is reading this listen to me that goes to you lila lockhart oh my god plus i like it when cakey cries that's what she deserves one positive comment on gabby's dollhouse i'll find that unhelpful one negative comment on gabby's dollhouse i'll find that helpful it would be better if there was a war on gabby's dollhouse and gabby get badly injured. Cakey dies. That would be better. And also, Gabby gets kicked off the dollhouse and never returns. I'll tell you another reason why I hate Gabby's dollhouse, because Gabby is dumb and weird. The trailer is terrible, the characters are terrible, and Gabby looks terrible in either
Starting point is 00:16:39 ways, either outside the dollhouse or inside. If anyone likes this, they must pay! Why does it have 7.5 out of ten on imdb it must be less than six end of review that's the longest conclusion i know in conclusion let me write the entire the entire following review i'm googling this tv pro was that on uh it was on google google review google has apparently has reviews of shows so yeah there's a google review i can't i don't know seven people found this helpful what it's okay it's all his weird friends who also don't like their sisters apparently that was like probably like send an email to all family members i'm trying to boycott this show please find my review helpful
Starting point is 00:17:25 thank you this is my new essay for school just hit hit like i can't is now in therapy so thank goodness i hope so uh i think we all should be yeah i can't cope with that and how aggressive and violent it is um oh yeah i feel like it was like i like cats uh you know i don't like the show anyway i hope they all die like it escalated so dramatically like cats. You know, I don't like the show. Anyway, I hope they all die. It escalated so dramatically. It's like, what's a hug attack? Like kind of making fun of it. Like this is so stupid. Like my sister, like why would my sister like this?
Starting point is 00:17:53 Like it felt like a 10-year-old boy review. Then it's like, I want there to be a war. A war on this show. A war and I want Gabby dead. I mean, seriously, it reminds me of like if a group of kids were talking about something and they were all kind of trying to one up each other. Like, no, I hate it the most. No, I hate the most.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Well, I hope there's a war on it. Well, I hope they all die. I mean, it's just very dramatic. By the way, Lila Lockhart is a literal child. Oh, dear. Please stop it. Layla. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:21 But yeah, it's a literal child that is the star of the show oh that's the name of the character what no gabby is the name of the character oh never mind okay sorry i'm pretty sure poor leila be nice to leila leila oh my god she's they did not spell the name right now that i looked it up i was like oh okay oh my god she's such a cutie pie oh my god her instagram has pictures of cats maybe that's what's going on here oh no maybe maybe this 10 year old sent a dm has her pronouns on her instagram bio she's so cute i don't know but little she's so young i'm telling you these youths are gonna save us i mean not this one particularly this one we should probably keep an eye on but the rest of them oh yeah i thought you meant leila i
Starting point is 00:19:05 was like what's wrong you mean the one that wrote the review you know the one who's waging a war wow that was just it just kept going i really thought like okay in conclusion nope we're still we're still going got it wow wow well um who sent that again thanks kate i'm glad that you and your family enjoy it because it seems like it needs a little love after that. Yes. Yes. Everyone go watch it now on Netflix. I think it's cute. I mean, what do I know? I've never seen it, but I hear next season there's going to be a massive war on there. I was going to say, I hear there's some drama coming talk about like netflix production value
Starting point is 00:19:45 um anyway what if it just gets picked up by like hbo like and they could do like a total like cinemax 180 with it oh my god it's like a really gritty like a gritty crime thing anyway of gabby's house okay anyway for just 4.99 you can get a Subway six-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh sliced deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest ham. We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami. So you can lunch legendary, dinner deliciously, breakfast brilliantly.
Starting point is 00:20:22 We're talking frigging fresh slicing and i'm yelling yes way get a six inch black forest ham for only 4.99 only at subway price and participation may vary extras taxes and delivery additional expires april 8th today something is coming kong godzilla they can feel it fight together together. It's human up. Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong, the new empire. Now playing only in theaters. Your turn. Okay, so this, Alexander, I just want to say, I was going to say sorry, but instead I'm going to say you're welcome.
Starting point is 00:20:57 It's a bad sign. Yeah, it is. I'm not even going to lie about that. This is from Rachel, and Rachel basically, I mean, I'm going to read some of the email because it needs context. Okay. This is from Rachel. Dearest people, I don't actually know who deserve a shorter email, but shan't have it because I am the worst and I do apologize.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Please read when you're able to grab some refreshments, settle in for a moment, and enjoy this twisting tale of absolute fuckery featuring cliches aplenty, stirring dramatic soliloquies a mysterious dastardly deed and my personal favorite puns and then says it's probably like too much for the podcast which of course means i was like this is perfect i don't even know what it is yet but it's perfect you don't know what it oh when you read that i'm sorry i was like christina i hope you know what it is by now i'm surprised for all of us no way when i read it's probably too much for the podcast i was like i see what i'm on board i'm on board you're like okay that rachel did not
Starting point is 00:21:50 psychology it works on us apparently yes it does uh you know it does i mean the second sentence is like you can't do this thing i'm like cool thanks watch me do it so this is from rachel she her pronouns thank you and let's see it said some really lovely things and now here is the initial review that kind of started off all of this so she was looking at reviews of a vegas apartment complex and stumbled upon this review it's a one-star review by let's say adam smith okay okay one star of sun chase apartments in nevada extremely discriminatory renting practices. Only accepts elite applicants. Management of these apartments are a discredit to the community. Update after owner response.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Change your criteria. It's nobody's business what happened almost a decade ago. Someone's past does not define the present. I will assume that you do criminal background checks too, but I bet without a doubt I could buy heroin or any myriad of illicit drugs in your complex somewhere criminals are everywhere even those who are not caught or not convicted stop thinking your community is prime and innocent it is not no place is end of review okay so far this i'm i'm just nervous is the only thing i'm feeling right now i think that's what happened to rachel and she's sorry i was just gonna say like the beginning i wouldn't if i came across this i'd like just keep going and ignore it like next like normally so that's why
Starting point is 00:23:15 i'm glad that these episodes exist so people can like that we force us to actually look like triggered people to to read into these kind of things yes she says as you can see it starts out pretty boring but then he says i will assume that you do criminal background checks too implying that they didn't even need to run a check on him before rejecting him she says instantly intrigued who is he what did he do why did the complex blackball him without a background check i clicked on his profile to read his other reviews and began to uncover some interesting patterns and a bizarre amount of unrelated auto shop reviews so i'm so she said for maximum onion peeling value i suggest starting with the most recent negative reviews and scrolling back in time to see the clues so then she says before taking and then take a guess as to what he did before Googling his name plus Las Vegas.
Starting point is 00:24:07 This is insane. Okay. I was like on a fucking journey here. This isn't. Okay. Now I get to be on the journey too. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:16 It's so exciting. Okay. So now I'm going to. So I clicked on this. Thank you, Rachel. And I'm obviously I'm not going to read all of them, but I'm going to read a select few that just kind of give you a glimpse into those persons. Life. One star of Arrowhead Credit Union. Poor customer service. Invasive privacy violating practices. Need excessive documentation to open account. This credit union not only wants to verify identity,
Starting point is 00:24:42 but to also verify sensitive aspects of your life, such as your physical location. Do not use this credit union if you enjoy a private lifestyle free of physical surveillance. And then the credit union responded. Hi, Adam. We are required to collect certain pieces of information to verify identity. It sounds like we could have done a better job explaining that. Please give us a call. please give us a call. That's kind of the pattern that we're going to see here is that really not into the lack of privacy that comes with a lot of modern day living.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Here's a five-star review of Nevada made marijuana. Good deals here. Here's a one-star review of security postal systems. Wanted to set up a mailbox to be able to receive my arizona driver's license and vehicle registration at was told that i needed an arizona driver's license already in hand in order to rent don't look to this business if you intend to keep your home address private uh response from owner i'm very sorry you feel that way but it is our policy this person is on a list very i'm thinking a specific list sorry i'm trying to like skip all the ones that are like good chicken like it's just really vague uh boulder city water mcdonald's oh very noisy inside with urban music playing in background thanks for that large portions uh a lot of like
Starting point is 00:26:02 thrift stores and like whether they're true thrift stores or not. Goodwill. Here we go. One star. Staff colluding with shoppers, giving them an advantage on knowing what the best items are before bins hit the floor. The regulars here are classic degenerates and this is the worst Goodwill in Las Vegas. West Edge Apartments.
Starting point is 00:26:20 One star. Discriminatory rental criteria. Property management steals your money. This company is not transparent regarding its rental policies stay away fraud stout property management company one star a disgrace and discredit to the community for its discriminatory rental practices talk about i have a very specific assumption here oh really okay good but i could be totally way off and then i'd feel really bad if i'm like wrong well i'm accusing someone of something that i don't even all i know is a
Starting point is 00:26:51 couple of reviews that they were well like are they are they like some sort of are they like a predator like like sexual some sort of no that's kind of where that's where my mind went too but that's actually not what it ends up being i know so it is very now i feel bad for saying well i thought too i was like well they're being very vague which like but they did something that led to the consequences of their like so whatever they did there were these consequences where now apartments will not do not want to rent have they gone to prison for like arson or something and like it's like a liability thing well i don't know i have a few more reviews for you and then i'll reveal the ultimate please
Starting point is 00:27:30 four stars of dominoes if you're going to eat pizza from dominoes make sure it's a pan pizza town and country man wait was that supposed to give me a hint no i just i just felt like that gives you some insight okay okay okay uh let's see great chicken tenders the nexus apartments one star discriminatory rental policies stay away hazelwood villas discriminatory rental policies stay away kangamoo indoor playground one star discriminatory rental practices close discriminated extremely discriminatory hiring practices. Kangamoo posts job offers on Craigslist and wants rigorous background check requirements, including credit checks for a wage not sustainable in Las Vegas housing market.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Shame on Kangamoo for not dispensing equal opportunity for employment. It's vague enough where you read this and you're like, I might agree with this person, depending on what they're talking about. I guess, but like every job you job you need to not every job but a lot of jobs need a background check it's not like yeah okay but they're saying they're being discriminated against which like is for sure just on paper is like well that's terrible they shouldn't do that take it at its word no you're totally right and here's what i'm like i have no idea what this person did because they must have done something because like i said normally if i'd read this i'd be like oh okay i'm sorry for this person then i'd move on so i wouldn't include it in the episode yeah well the first one star of lutheran social services we're almost done too many obstacles bureaucracy and hoops to jump
Starting point is 00:28:58 through id and social security should be enough proof of address look on my id if it's proof enough to open a bank account, it should satisfy these people. Proof of income? Look at the balance of my bank account on my phone. Take a copy if you like. Or how about this? Don't worry about it. Obviously, if I had sufficient income, I wouldn't be standing in line putting up with your BS
Starting point is 00:29:15 to begin with. So, yeah, we got another couple. Craigslist. Nobody. Specifically, like their proof of address. Yeah. They can't provide right and they're struggling and they're struggling to find a place to live it seems like based on what they did
Starting point is 00:29:30 yes correct this sounds like something like if this were someone who's homeless that's this sucks like fine trying to find a job completely because you need that's my thought is like so normally i'd read this i'd be like this is terrible like they're in a terrible tough spot so i'm like as you read more i'm hmm, maybe I'm on this person's side. And then you're going to, like, drop some bomb on me. See, it's like a mystery. Like, it's not even like, oh, you accuse this person. It's more just like, there's a mystery that we are trying to solve here of what actually happened.
Starting point is 00:29:58 What happened? So here's a one survey of Manor Suites. Very rude front desk representative would not even show me available room because she claimed I would not pass their eviction or criminal background check. See, and this is the thing is that what Rachel pointed out is it's not after a background check. Yeah, true, true, true. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's like they already know, oh, you're not passing this. Yes, exactly. Which is why it's like, what the hell is going on here? What did they do? Here's a one-star review of Regional Justice Center. Had a bad experience with a court deputy marshal.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Very rude and unprofessional. Filed a complaint with court administration and I'm still waiting for a response. This court has no supervisors immediately available to address problems. Immediate recourse is necessary in sensitive situations. One-star. This is just a one-star with no review. One-star rating of U.S. District Court, District of Nevada. What happened?
Starting point is 00:30:47 Hold on. I'm so sorry. This is a one star review of an attorney. I'm not going to say the name. I hired him back in 06 on a criminal case in Jacksonville, Florida. I subsequently will now call him blank got me as he essentially stole my money and did not provide any representation or defense. He simply handed me over to the prosecution for a plea deal that resulted in the lifetime stigmatization of a felony.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I was innocent of the charges then, as I continue to be now, but because of his poor-slash-scheming performance, I am paying the consequences for the rest of my life. So you're just getting a lot of, you know, something's going on, right? Yes, yes. I've been thinking that from the beginning sorry so now we're at the end here i i gave you a aggressive overview i'm so sorry of this person's reviews
Starting point is 00:31:34 over a span of two years okay i do want to say like i'm wondering if this is some sort of high profile um criminal case that this person was involved in i mean florida like it could be a number of cases oh and like that they recognize him or something so yeah i like i feel like how else would this person be so notorious it must be something high profile but like i don't know but then again i'm like well wouldn't they shouldn't they be in prison if it's something that terrible so i have no idea well i had no idea either apparently this person's lawyers suck so this person they be in prison if it's something that terrible so i have no idea well i had no idea either apparently this person's lawyers suck so this person would be in prison in prison if they did something really bad but then again all these people know that okay i'm so lost i know it's very
Starting point is 00:32:16 confusing so rachel says you know try taking a guess what he did before googling his name plus las vegas so i'm gonna search this uh and she said it's the first search result and probably the reason no one needed to run a background check have you searched this though before yes okay first search result fbi.gov oh las vegas division man convicted of possessing thousands of stolen credit debit and gift card numbers and using them to buy electronics. A federal jury has convicted a man of felony charges for unlawfully obtaining thousands of credit, debit, and gift card numbers and using them to obtain cash to buy electronics, which he later resold, according to the U.S. Attorney for the District of Nevada. So this person, I mean, it is public, but i'm not going to share the name yeah was convicted of one count of conspiracy four counts of possession of 15 or more counterfeit or
Starting point is 00:33:11 unauthorized access devices one count of aggravated identity theft and criminal forfeiture okay yeah i i mean okay no wonder all the complaints about the credit cards and stuff and like the credit unions like i won't give you let you do a background check oh my god um he was in custody was scheduled to be sentenced um and he faces up to 10 years in prison on the conspiracy so this is all is this ongoing this was from 2012 so i don't think so okay um and these reviews for were from like two years ago okay uh it says two additional years in prison on the aggravated identity theft count plus fines of up to 250 thousand dollars so this person i believe did their time and paid whatever fines and is now struggling because they have a past where yes they stole credit cards or gift cards and like
Starting point is 00:34:08 which is ironic because they were charged they were convicted of aggravated identity theft and now are saying why doesn't anyone respect my privacy yes very much so no i see that is that is beautifully ironic and i don't listen i fully agree that everybody should have the right to housing. I believe everyone should have the right to lawful employment. I'm not saying this guy should be banned from, you know, a home and work. That's not at all what I'm saying. I just really enjoyed the journey of like trying to guess what was going on and clearly not getting the information and then finding an FBI
Starting point is 00:34:45 article at the end of this journey. And if these private credit unions do not want to do business with someone who has this kind of past, I mean, I don't blame them either. Or if a local playground is like, I don't know if we want to hire you. I mean, I applied for a job at the Ikea Children's Center in Burbank, California, and i was rejected so you know and you and you wrote a one-star review about it i did and the fbi i had tried to hide the fbi article about it but he couldn't but anyway yes that is kind of the the gist of it so my god i'm glad for that journey that was something that was good that was unique like this this felt like we went a step beyond of what we usually do kind of thing rachel was just looking at apartments it wasn't
Starting point is 00:35:29 like she was like searching for a you know a tail yeah that's how i feel on human seeking human when i actually search the person's name in the newspapers and like get some like deep dive into like a narrative and stuff yeah yeah oh and then i get all excited and then i'm like this is fun yeah um yeah that was this had this had a narrative exactly it did i mean i'm glad there wasn't any like ours usually don't it's usually quite the opposite certainly not we have whatever the opposite of a narrative is we make up the narrative right we create a false one very false um anyway so this is very fascinating it says according to the superseding indictment and the evidence presented at trial he purchased stolen credit debit or gift card accounts from a
Starting point is 00:36:12 person in pakistan and used them to purchase things of value primarily electronics which he later resold he obtained thousands of pages of customer records including credit card numbers stolen from a hotel in las vegas yeah i If you, yeah, you're worried about your employee's personal information. Right. If you hire this person. And there are, I will say, there are also five-star reviews where he did find a credit union that took him on. You know what I mean? So it's not. See, I'm sure it's probably just harder for him. Like I'm sure, okay, maybe I'm being naive or just
Starting point is 00:36:43 optimistic, but I'm sure he can find employment. I'm sure he can find all this stuff. But I imagine that because of his past actions, it's a lot harder for him than other people. But maybe he also shouldn't have done all that. Maybe he maybe shouldn't have stolen a bunch of people's identities. My, at least based on how the courts processed it, it sounds like it wasn't a false accusation. Yeah, he definitely said like he was charged oh it was i'm still innocent of it i mean he yeah according to the law he's not innocent of it i'm
Starting point is 00:37:11 not saying like he's lying to me because i don't know but yeah he also used computer software to predict gift card numbers issued by card companies then use the money before the true owners of the gift cards could use them so i mean I mean, he's stealing from people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty outright. So, very, very interesting tale. Wow. Now, I don't want anyone going and finding all this and bothering this person.
Starting point is 00:37:36 But please. Of course not. But, because I'm sure it's, I mean, it is public record, but it is quite a tale. So, Rachel, thank you for sharing this journey with us. That's what Between You and Us is all about. Weird shit, right? Whatever we want. Whatever you guys find, and then we just take it and run with it.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Whatever you want, sure. And Rachel, I hope you found a lovely apartment to live in. Oh, yeah. The end. You don't have to struggle alone. Get free confidential mental health and substance use support at Canada.ca slash mental health. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text 988. A message from the Government of Canada.
Starting point is 00:38:16 We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share. To each other. I am future. I wait in the world we share to each other i am future i wait in the world of echo discover the extraordinary with echo the spectacular new show by cirque du soleil opens may 8th under the big top at toronto lakeshore boulevard west tickets at cirque du soleil.com the world is yours to create echo thanks it's presenting partners on life and its official partners air canada and mastercard well i my follow-up i mean no offense to this person elizabeth here sent a review but like it's not a saga so my next one's not a saga either so don't worry this is just in the middle
Starting point is 00:38:58 i just wanted to you know fuck shit up well here's the review that elizabeth sent in elizabeth says i was shopping for a birthday gift for my roommate came across this review of some moscow mule mugs and apparently his was the only one star amongst a bunch of five star reviews this is of cool brew moscow mule copper mugs gift set of two hundred percent solid handcrafted copper mug copper cups 16z food safe hammered mug for mules. Here's a review. One star. These are not copper mugs! You're buying from liars!
Starting point is 00:39:33 This is straight up BS! This is not 100% copper! Look at the photo of the indents as it came to me. Your product is not as advertised and this mug is copper coated not pure copper i hope the next time anyone who advertised this product had to go to a doctor they end up at a witch doctor or holistic medical expert crux end of review what a weird insult what a weird someone who's complaining about witch doctors quote witch doctors they're like putting a fucking hex on these people cursing them they are literally
Starting point is 00:40:12 putting a curse on these people so hey it kind of balances out so now those people will go to the doctor with this curse and the it'll be a witch doctor who says let me lift this curse now the next doctor you go to will be normal. It's like, great, okay. Some guy on the internet put this curse on you, but he did give you the instruction to have it reversed, so it's okay. It was like a little bit of an inconvenience. So, you know, it's like instead of going, next time you go to the doctor,
Starting point is 00:40:36 you go to a normal, like whatever, like just your normal doctor, you suddenly end up at a witch doctor, and then you're like, oh, I got to go next week to my regular doctor. Like I didn't, I mean, obviously i didn't expect that how could i but okay i expected it to be which is horrible but i expected him to say like i hope next time i go to the doctor they have cancer or something yeah something horrible which thankfully they did not say but it just was such a weird threat very unfortunately 17 people found the review helpful. Did they?
Starting point is 00:41:07 I don't know. I don't know why. I don't know how. Wow. But something I did say, didn't not say because I didn't want to spoil the review, but Elizabeth says, love the podcast and you guys. Hope you're staying healthy and safe. Don't let the holistic medical experts get you down.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Oh my God. Oh my God. I mean, and also like. Because technically, I mean, he said next purple who advertised this. Technically, we're advertising that product in a way. You're right. So that might be us. Well, I mean...
Starting point is 00:41:31 Which I'm down for. I was going to say, I probably will. Whatever. You know, why not? Google somebody. Oh, lordy. This is a review from Brielle, who uses sheer pronouns. This is a redemption as well.
Starting point is 00:41:43 And I got very excited by the subject, which says, Cricket Review, Christine Between You and Us. Brielle says, I, too, share a newfound love of cricket machines. My fiance works at a library and brought their cricket home at the start of the pandemic to complete some work projects, and I instantly fell in love with the machine. I was looking at their website to see how much it would set me back if I ever wanted to purchase my own. Parentheses, woof. Yeah, I bought mine on Black Friday, but it was still very expensive.
Starting point is 00:42:08 When I came across this lovely review, if I hadn't already wanted to order one, this wholesome review would have sealed the deal. Love, Brielle. So this is a review from the Cricut website. Yikes. So their bundle, their bundles are very expensive, by the way. Oh, really? I know you're interested in that. I am.
Starting point is 00:42:27 I have no idea. The bundle Cricket Maker plus everything materials bundle, champagne, is typically or is usually $647.82. Six what? $647.82. Jeez. And on sale, it was $ 469.99 yeah i didn't buy a bundle because i did the math and i was like i'm pretty sure just buying the vinyl on amazon is cheaper and buying the cricket machine at like michael's machine then i feel like that's and how much that includes
Starting point is 00:43:00 the machine though yes that doesn't see i don't know i mean it's expensive because the cricket machine is like would i spend that yes at target right now the cricket machine is 200 okay that seems well actually you know there's different kinds of crickets so i don't know it's all very confusing you've got the the special no i don't i have have the middle one, the most popular one. It is $249 on their website. The very expensive one, which is the, it cuts wood. Like it does like professional shit. Yeah, it cuts wood. It engraves like metal and shit.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Like it's very, very, very fancy. Like laser engraving and stuff? It's not laser, but it's like, I don't know. Flames? I don't know. That one is $400 400 so just to give you an idea 400 that seems reasonable i got mine on sale for 200 that seems reasonable but it's expensive if you're just using it like for fun you know like just to like play i mean fair yes
Starting point is 00:44:00 yes it's very it's expensive if you're just like if you make a living making sure then i can understand that it would be like printers like like that print on to sweatshirts and stuff have you seen those like thread printers i don't know what they're fucking they're so cool though like embroidery yeah it's like a shirt i don't know but it's like a printer though it looks like a like a regular printer but you put the thing on and it goes like a, I don't know. It's really cool. Whoa. Embroidery. Embroidery machine.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Computerized. Computerized embroidery machine. It's like a computer thing for sure. Yeah. And they have, you put the design in on the computer and then it prints it on whatever you want. It's actually like very similar.
Starting point is 00:44:40 And I think those are super expensive, which is why I think I had that in my head. Well, that thing's 250 bucks on overstock oh really that's it yeah oh but some of the fancy swiss ones are 700 so okay i guess there's a variety here anyway i'm getting ahead of myself anyway point being like for like a fun craft it's expensive for have you even read the review i'm sorry i've gotten but but basically the cricket the the cricket bundle typically is like 700 bucks which got it if you think about that the cricket is 200 on sale that doesn't make sense right yeah i don't think so so here we go what
Starting point is 00:45:18 do i know nothing not much so here's a five-star view by bucky barnes really what that's the name of the user do you know what yeah isn't that a character from something i would be so mad at you right now yes christina it's a marvel character oh well this is just the name of uh the user the username that this person picked hold on aha well, then that also makes sense. Do you know who Steve Rogers is? Yes, Christina. Captain America. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:49 I'm trying to get it. My friends who listen, who are making me, and by friends, I mean Dee and Marilyn, making me watch like Falcon and Winter Soldier, are so mad at me because I have not watched most Marvel movies. Well. But I'm trying. So now I'm trying. Look, I'm trying. I know these things. I thought look i'm trying mr rogers yeah i was confused by that so i just googled it it looks like
Starting point is 00:46:11 everyone it could be worse i could be her who doesn't even know yeah it could be me and it would be really bad for everybody it would be five stars subject is title is i love this more than i love steve rogers okay you thought they meant mr rogers yeah because i didn't know who buddy bonds was oh my god okay that's hilarious i just assumed someone who uses a cricket would be like into mr rogers like i am okay anyway okay okay being dead serious i love this machine It came early and I nearly exploded with joy all over my sister-in-law's wedding prep. And it just, I know, I just realized that saying that out loud is not really appealing. Ew, ew, ew, no.
Starting point is 00:46:53 It came early and I nearly, yikes, even that part. Yeah, stop. Maybe just don't read this actually. I'm going to skip this sentence. And it just made things better. Just to be helpful, I started printing her petals for paper flowers because her leaf punch had not yet arrived her large leaves were the size of my let me test this blade and make something cute in miniature leaves we mind melded and had a moment of pure joy where i was almost crying with the prospect of creating i'm sorry i think from everything that
Starting point is 00:47:18 happened the beginning with it like this seems really gross and filthy why this review i don't know everything about it. Like, the mind meld thing. Like, they're like, we became. It seems really sensual, the whole thing. Stop it. Doesn't it? I'm not crazy.
Starting point is 00:47:36 Like, it's literally like. Well, I thought it was about Mr. Rogers. So, I had a different mindset going into it. Okay. Yeah, you're right. Okay. I'm just going gonna read it again anyway we mind melded and had a moment of pure joy when i was almost crying see because this is not like
Starting point is 00:47:53 this there's more going on here than just i don't cricket stuff like this is this is there's much more happening okay with the prospect of creative possibility and joint Christmas card making sessions, mommy slash baby slash auntie shirt ideas, holiday party decorations, and making hats for the pets. This is perhaps the greatest thing I've ever brought into our house since I adopted a Chewini. I can't wait to make chibi stickers of friends to decorate our cars and homes. I'm even thinking about making some amazing things for the really terrible people at my job.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Maybe it'll bring them out of the dark side. I truly believe the Cricut Maker has that kind of power. Buy this. From Cricut.com, $400 for this ultimate bundle with a $10 coupon and free shipping, or $400 for just a machine at the store. Yeah, no, I'm a wise cookie. I love you.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Okay, it got cute. I know. You're right, the beginning was rough i like like with just comparing the size of their petals and it was it was just a lot there it was for something something about it was just like well it started with i exploded with joy yeah you're right that's not good but and you even skipped a sentence because i had to skip the connotation um but i do like that it was immediately like my first thought was making hats for the pets like okay and also making things for all the terrible
Starting point is 00:49:13 people at work and this cricket machine's almost as good as my chawini um yeah which i that's so cute so brielle if you i would recommend buying the $200 one at target if you have like a coupon or something because i was really hesitant to buy it because i was like it's just such a large chunk of cash to buy on yourself or to spend on yourself but then i made so many like christmas and birthday gifts with it that it's actually come in handy as far as not having to buy really good oh thank you i don't know i was impressed by it. So that's why. So I've seen what it can do. And then I've just found out the price and was like, oh, okay. But maybe it's because you always said, oh my God, I spent too much money on this.
Starting point is 00:49:51 But I made such a big scene about how much I spent on it that I think I just talked it up. Because the reason was because it was in the midst of my Christmas shopping. And I was like, why am I buying myself a $200 thing? Plus all that you have to buy all the supplies. I was like, why am i spending this on myself i have a cardboard cutout of myself i i paid $50 for that thing to be put out in the since 90 red stadium last season 50 bucks right anyway i too have a cricket review actually for
Starting point is 00:50:18 real by carrie yeah oh my god so here it was hello she for sibs so i recently rescued a pet lizard and with that comes having to buy live food oh as a vegan and overall bug hater i do not enjoy buying live crickets oh no but if i have to get them i want to make sure they're the best possible quality which led me to the weird world of cricket reviews including my favorite here from the self-proclaimed cricket girl herself i was wondering when when when it would click for you i didn't get it until you're just like oh oh yes cricket reviews well i thought oh we're making hats for pets we're making lizard hats that was so funny though because you said something about cricket reviews and i'm looking at my email like you're probably like christine stole my review yeah and then i was like oh that
Starting point is 00:51:03 cricket okay i have the other cricket i don't know how much crickets are either so it could be even more i don't know carrie does carrie said 200 per cricket yes shut up the high quality ones only only the best so let me read this five-star review from petsmart.com of these crickets. Actually, whoa, this is funny. The username is 15 cents per cricket. Wait, really? So I guess that is our answer. Oh, okay. I thought you were going to say the username is like Marvel fan or something.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Never mind. I was like, I'm done with that topic. Me too. Here we go. Exemplary crickets with some personal issues. I recently purchased a couple small crickets. They came out great. However, I don't know if all of them like me. One of them gave me stink eye this morning over breakfast. Some of them stopped moving. I think they are asleep. Recommendations for group therapy for me and the cricket who gave me stank eye?
Starting point is 00:52:04 All suggestions considered, but I would like a human therapist cricket not necessary but definitely preferable xoxo cricket girl ps very yum for humans end of review no um and they spell cricket c-r-i-k-e-t c-r-i-k am i missing every time i maybe is she eating them maybe crickets are yummy for humans is that what she said yeah they purchased a couple small crickets and they came out great so in a dish maybe oh but then one of them was looking and then but then some of them stopped moving so were they eating them live so i don don't really know. And they want a therapist. Nothing good is happening. Which is probably the only reasonable thing in here. Under this roof, there's a lot to unpack.
Starting point is 00:52:51 They want therapy for themselves and their crickets. Wow. And what's funny about this, I mean, it's like, this was a review. And like, obviously, like most likely it's a joke review. But they just like posted this on freaking like pet smart.com like a handful of people normally would have just seen it like oh okay that's kind of funny and then like carrie stumbles on it looking for actual crickets and probably got a laugh out of it it is he sent it to us it's weird right yeah it is because i like it though i feel like on
Starting point is 00:53:22 amazon people try to write like reviews that'll get them like shared around and stuff but you don't really see like it's like that person who wrote the lean cuisine review on the lean cuisine website where it's like what is the intended audience for this exactly exactly oh good girl i appreciate you i hope that you and your crickets are doing much better, have strengthened your bond. I hope they started moving again. And I, Carrie, I hope you bought the same crickets. Wow. Well, that was fun.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Yeah, that was my last one. Okay. Well, I guess we're all done here then. That was something. That was something, especially after that saint patrick state bonus episode i feel like we've had a we've had a day kind of have a headache yeah enjoy everyone we'll see you probably less than a month unless we take our sweet time again yeah yeah we'll do one of these in april and again if you're a patron go to or want to be a
Starting point is 00:54:21 patron patreon.com slash beach to sandy you'll'll see our St. Patrick's Day episode on there. I hope you enjoy that. And we'll talk to you on Wednesday about churches. All right. See you at church. Bye.

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