Beantown Podcast - 04142019_Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown Podcast

Episode Date: April 14, 2019

Quinn comes to you LIVE from the Hinsdale Oasis in Illinois to ramble about white weddings, April snow, texting while podcasting, and why Target hates the Christians

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furnace, comedy alive from the Hinsdale Oasis over I-294 in Illinois. This is the bean town podcast. How's everyone doing? What's going on? You won't believe it April 14th, 2019. It's a Sunday, Palm Sunday, and I got the best seat in the house here I'm looking over the the interstate going both ways and just snow upon snow upon snow. I don't believe it April 14th literally last weekend in bean town Spent the whole day with Brother Walt thanks to Brother Walt for coming on the podcast and we walked around Baltimore like crazy we

painted that town like you wouldn't believe 70 degrees beautiful summer day and seven days later here we are in Chicago, and it is more or less a blizzard. I mean, I'm not joking when I tell you it's coming down and it's about 35 degrees, so it was very wet, but there is some stickage, and I just, I just can't believe it. I can't believe what I'm seeing.

My name is Quinn David Fernos. This is my show. Quinn David Fernos presents the Bean Town podcast. This is the People's Podcast. Your number one source for missing information probably. We're happy to be coming to you live this morning. Listen to discretion is advised when you're listening to the Bean Tom podcast. Number one, we'll occasionally use some questionable words across the dictionary. And number two, This podcast is objectively terrible and I want to start with this snow So I wake up this morning

Drop Karinaugh at the airport I Speaking of which I don't know if she's getting out hopefully but I'm not driving, I'm thinking maybe I'll hit up a forest preserve or something. I didn't really take enough of the snow seriously, TBH. I say TBH sometimes is just sort of shortened the time period. It stands for to be honest. Sometimes I'll say TBH though. I'm thinking you know I don't have to work till about one o'clock this afternoon.

Maybe I'll walk around, get some nature, you know, get in touch with mother earth. Gaya is what the Greeks would have called her, or their Romans. I don't know, I don't remember. But on that point, you know, you kind of learn growing up that Greeks and Romans worship the same gods and goddesses, they just have different names. My question is how is that possible?

How do you have two civilizations worshiping the same people? Did the Greeks come first and the Romans just copied them but said, hey, let's put our own names on it? Was it like when Isaac Newton and that other guy concurrently discovered calculus without knowing? She get a mythology expert on this being Tom podcast, but so I stop at the Hinstell Oasis after hitting up over here to get some coffee, you know, early in the morning, It had about feels like

now about five straight days. I just very long. Wednesday was about a 16, 15, 16 hour workday. Thursday wasn't as long of a workday but there were some happy hours. Some trivia, a two-mile walk each way after a full workday. So that was a long day. Friday I was up at about 4 a.m. to hit up a flight to get out here and I didn't go to bed until I don't know. Midnight, 1am, Friday night, something like that. So that was what about a 21 hour day? And yesterday, I also had to be up early yesterday, had a college fair that was about an hour drive away from where I was staying. And I tell you what, I leave the house

to go to this college fair yesterday morning, 7.30, 7.45 AM, things at nine. And as I'm tooling down the highway, I realize, hey, I don't have my Johns Hopkins blue tablecloth that's you know you put over your table at a college fair so people kind of know Who you are That like that pen jillette Show what is your identity?

I don't know. I don't think I ever saw a full episode. I can watch it on YouTube. But I'm like, oh geez, I don't have my tablecloth. There are so few things that I have to remember to bring, and that was like one out of the two things that I forgot, the other being business cards. But as I do an emergency pit stop at Target, it's like if you're racing in the NASCAR monster energy cup series and all of a sudden you're feeling a vibration on your left rear tire. And you think you can hold it. But you go down low to pass, I don't know, Eric Almarola. And the whole thing just blows your tire pops. You got to make an emergency pit stop.

That's sort of what I did yesterday at Target. And I go in there, you know, it's about 8.15 a.m. Looking for tablecloths. Quinn's on the hunt for tablecloths now, Target at 8.15, it's a very popular item to purchase early on Saturday mornings at Target. I walk in. I know it's going to be a good day because the first song that comes on is such great heights by the Postal Service. Kudos to Target. I mean, who even listens to the postal service anymore?

What do they have two albums? One or two albums? That's a great song. If you have no idea what I'm talking about postal service, one of Ben Gibberds. I don't even know if it's fair to call it a side project, because it's like a full band or it's him and one other person, I don't know. But you know Ben Gibber from Deathcap for Cutie. Anyway, such great heights, good song. He did an acoustic version. He went on NPR, or not NPR, K-E-X-P Portland or Seattle.

I don't remember which one K-E-X-p is with Sharon Waters, is that her name? He did like an hour long set acoustic by himself promoting Deathcabs new album. It just came out two years ago now I think. But he does a cover of such great heights on there. It's really nice. We got to listen to that later. But I finally find my tablecloth. Here's the problem. They don't have any blue ones. Just white and like gray. Like, jeez target you guys know how to throw a party. What would I do if I was needed to get a tablecloth for Palm Sunday today and I needed a green one so that it looked like palms

Target hates Christians you heard it here first So I get my weight tablecloth. I go to this college fair whatever yada yada yada long day Had a wedding as one of those weddings that starts at 5 p.m So you know it's gonna be long Because you got a ceremony You got a cocktail hour. There's mingling, which I thought would be kind of overlapped with cocktail hour turns out they're separate. There is a dinner, a three course dinner, if you will, soup, salad, and breadsticks.

soup, salad and breadsticks. And there's some speeches, there's some toasts. I was prepared to make some remarks. I wasn't asked to. Sip in a Grande Latte BTW. I'll say BTW sometimes as an acronym stands for By the Way, which is also a Red Hat Chili Peppers, is that an album, song, both? I don't know.

There wasn't any Red Hat Chili Peppers at the wedding though. And next thing you know, it's like 1230. Oh, I forgot there's an after party too. Oh, well, it's like 12.30. Oh, I forgot there's an after party too. Oh, well, there's toast, there's speeches, then there's dancing. There's the father daughter dance, which was, I think, talk dirty to me by poison. And then the mother, the mother's son, lover boy dance,

which was a lover boy song actually. And then there's, you know, dancing, no cha cha slide, which was unfortunate. Really couldn't, never really got into my groove, you know, I kind of need that cha cha slide to kick me into a high gear, but never got it. Anyways, I was at the wedding yesterday and I had some thoughts about the racial diversity. And to be fair, this is anyone's fault, I'm not saying anyone's racist. And also there were like a couple of black people there. But I wrote some jokes. It's that format where it's like this and this and this and so I have a couple of those. I don't know why I spoke in gibberish. This wedding house that was so white. How white was it? Well, at first I thought I was at BYU homecoming? This wedding I was at was so white.

They were handing out bottles of SPF 30 at the door. That's a good one. Sweating I was at was so white. How white was it? Instead of a wedding cake they had a giant piece of avocado too. I like that one. I should mention, and I briefly mentioned this two minutes ago, that while I'm making jokes about how white this wedding is, nor was I'm sitting here sipping on a Starbucks Grande Latte.

So normally I wouldn't go to Starbucks Starbucks but I'm on a work trip. And now I'm on a Starbucks power trip. This wedding I was at was so white. How white was it? The dance playlist was just the cha cha slide on repeat for three hours which I kind of after myself over on that joke because I just told you that it didn't play. So let's move ahead here and got three more. The Starbucks I, joke because I just told you that it didn't play. So let's move ahead here. We've got three more. The Starbucks I'm the Starbucks I just basically gave you the punchline. The wedding I was at was so white how white was it? Instead of an open bar we all just drove the Starbucks in our Prius. It's a good one too. Two more the wedding I was at was so white. How white was it? They made it

BYOH, bring your own hood. Now that's kind of, that's a little risque, but I think that's my favorite one. And then I have one other one, BYOH, bring your own hood. I have one more that I thought of later. This wasn't part of the original package. It kind of came to me later in a vision. The wedding house, that was so white how white was it. The bride walked down the aisle to a ukulele cover of Forever by Chris Brown. Ha ha ha! Alright, those are all the jokes that we have time for. But it was a lovely wedding. If it would have been today when it was snowing, they could have played that Billy Idol song White Wedding on repeat. I think that would have been nice.

So uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so uh, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, which is troubling to an extent if I'm being honest because I was I'm gonna try to upload this podcast using this Oasis Wi-Fi and not the fun kind like some might I'd say no, just the hands-dialoacist wife I know Gallagher brothers included. But if I can't, oh no, I'm trying to get on the McDonald's wife I, if I can't even upload a Snapchat video, then I'd kind of be surprised if I could upload a half an hour podcast. So I tried to get into the McDonald's Wi-Fi, but it took me to like the employee login page. And I never worked for McDonald's. I've done a lot of odd jobs.

McDonald's was not one of them. Let's, we're going to continue with the Wi-Fi saga here. If you will, I love a good saga. And while we're doing that, let's go ahead and read some advertisements. You got to pull out the iPad here. You know, I was driving out here this morning and that song, Shallow by Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga came on.

Reminded me of my Oscars monologue, which you can find in my web site, beantownpodcast.com. Don't forget to check that out. And always if you have comments, questions, concerns, email us. Share this email, beantownpodcast.

Yahoo.com. It's beantown, B-E-A-N-T-tinin podcast at yahoo.com. And maybe we'll read you live on the air. What am I doing here? I'm trying to pull up the ads. Before I get into that, hang on. Got a text from friend of the podcast, John Paul Pindowski,

who hasn't been on a while. But he's made a couple appearances appearances if you're curious. We didn't interview about this time last year on what it's like to go to school for music Do-do-do-do-do I'm trying to connect with him because he's actually out in the suburbs right now kind of by where I'm at And then he also came in on the last, like, minute of our farewell, the far-well episode, which was last summer. Tsh, are you free at all before one? I'm just hanging. Okay, let's read the ads here. Home Pride Oregon. Are you tired of selling your house for less than a quarter of what is worth all because

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my place. Anyone a safe, certified home inspector, you can trust, call Steve at 541-207-1101 or visit homeprydorgan.com. That's 541-207-1101 or visit homeprydorgan.com. Homeprydorgan, inspection perfection. Shout out to the Samson Q2U series. Pulled some double duty last week with friend of the podcast, brother of the podcast, Walter W. Fernis. And kind of a triple duty

type of deal. Ryan Austin Liggin got called into the podcast on emergency Ryan Austin Liggan got called into the podcast on emergency Referential duty thanks to Ryan that was the first time in Bean Tom podcast history. We've done a surprise call I think it's Perhaps a little unethical, but you know Ryan's a good sport and if he sues us he sues us Ryan is a good sport and if he sues us, he sues us. It's a good thing brother of the podcast Jack is in law school because we're getting him to defend us. But shout out to the Samson Q2U series for that consistently clean Chris Baudio quality. Remember when God speaks, he uses a Samson.

Another shout out to the TV guide. We mentioned this last week, but we got a new one last week with Peter Dinklage on the cover. Game of Thrones. Is that tomorrow? Is that today April 14, 2019? The premiere? I think so I'm the episodes are in the last season seven eight something like that yeah it's premiering tonight I've never seen Game of Thrones have you I get a lot I tell you what and I'm gonna use language I apologize get a lot of shit from everyone Because I've never seen or read Game of Thrones and you know what I Don't give people shit when they haven't seen the wire or

lost Or breaking bad. That's a big one breaking bad is comparable from like a level of cultural and social importance to game of thrones. And I don't give people shit when they haven't seen Breaking Bad, so yeah, but the TV guide... I was about to say that TV guys pull in double duty here. It's not. I'm trying to text John Paul Pandowski well podcasting and I tell you what man. Easier said than done. We had a hard enough time reading out loud my Northwestern cover letter last week for

the assistant basketball coach position and typing at the same time. Now I'm trying to talk. Into the podcast, producing award-winning show for you all the listeners, the friends of the podcast. And type a completely separate different message to John Paul Pindowsky. If you had notice already. It's not going very well. All these pauses, it's like two or three seconds in the podcast where I'm like mumbling or not saying anything really that's when I'm like shifting my mental focus to try to write this text message. I've been working on this particular message for about two minutes now and all I have right now is six words. Let me church it until the end. Half to be in

Napier. That's not right. Naperville by one. So, I don't know. I think it'd be nice. I don't know if the status of the Connerz is on ABC. But if they ever are thinking of doing a TV guide spread with John Goodman on the cover and he's kind of wearing his red and white flannel hands on his knees, giving you that signature John Goodman smirk and it just says he's back. Big bold letters in all this glory.

Conner's Returns to ABC this Tuesday, 8th, 7th, central. Last ad here, I feel like I've been reading ads for about 15 minutes. Okay, Cuts by Cube. Bob and Weave, we all know the hairstyle, we all love it. But how many midtown Baltimore-based independent barbers can actually give it to you the way you deserve? Enter Cuts by Cube. It's like enter Sandman, but different. Cuts by Cube has been independently owned and operated since 1995 and it's probably one of the better barbershop operations serving Baltimore City, Baltimore County and Cook County, Illinois. From B-Highs, the Bangs, Fahok, the flat tops, and everything in between called Cuts by

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Buy Q. All right. How much longer we got on this podcast? 23 minutes. St's Jordan's number. Considering I've said more or less nothing in the past 25 minutes to be able to get this far is pretty impressive. And honestly, isn't that just how the bean-town podcast is in general? It's a microcosm. That's a good word. Microcosm on the bean-time podcast, we've been going for a year and a half now, about 15 months to be exact.

And we've produced one episode a week with six specials, I think. So that's something like, seven, we're close to about 75 episodes of the Bean Time Podcast. How cool is that? 75 different unique things. And in all of that, I've managed to say pretty much nothing in the whatever, like, I don't know how much I have, probably like 60 hours of recorded footage.

So, it's amazing that there are still people who listen to this too. I don't know. Really just shows you that when you're white in this country, you can really go places. That's kind of been the theme today. White privilege, white weddings. This is going to be nice. So these people off to my left, I'd say about 20 feet, so not

too far away. They're sitting in these massage chairs here at the instill oasis, but you know they're just sitting there to sit there. They're not actually getting the, they're not paying for the massage. So the machine keeps barking at them. I don't know if you could guys could pick that up on the audio, but machine keeps barking at them to insert cash or select payment type. Anyways, well, I'm out here kind of an interesting trip. I flew into Chicago on Friday morning, did all the wedding stuff.

Friday night, yesterday, working in about four hours here to give a presentation to high schoolers about my school. And then maybe driving into the city tonight just for like an hour or two to see some friends, but honestly, if it's snowing like this, it's not worth it. And I hate to say that, but like, I don't want to to it's one thing to drive in this and traffic won't be bad because it's Sunday it's another thing to actually like do the whole parking and like have a drink or something then you got to drive back it's just I don't know we'll see I'm not not saying right now I'm not going to do it but if it's like this then we might just do a face time or something

Also, I drink a lot yesterday, so Might not need another drink tonight, but tomorrow morning do another college fair And then driving to Milwaukee Doing a presentation there tomorrow night and then getting a drink with old buddy you'll college or mate Sam Anderson who has never made a podcast appearance but he would be primed for the podcast one of these days Sam it's gonna happen you my friend would be a being town legend Tuesday's a big day driving from Milwaukee to Kansas City about eight hours. Never made that drive before. I've never driven to Kansas City in any capacity. May or may not have been there once as a toddler.

Never been there as an adult, though. So I got three days posted up in Kansas City doing work out there. Yeah. I've never been. If anyone's legit listening right now and they any of the like 300, 400 people who listen per week, you've been in Kansas City. Shoot us an email or a text or tweet at me at bean town cast or my personal one at white buns.

And let me know where I should eat. So I've actually been asking around like legit, a lot of people, and I am yet to actually get something from anyone that says, you gotta try this place. So everyone says, Kansas City barbecue, okay, we'll try it, but where to go? Where Kansas City barbecue, and what else is there in Kansas City, not just food-wise, but life-wise

in Kansas City, what should I be checking out, so. We'll do that. We'll be back in Beentown Friday night, conveniently have to work on campus on Saturday. So I've, let's see, I didn't work last weekend, but starting this past Monday and going through next Saturday, that will be, or I guess this upcoming Saturday, that's what basically 13 straight days of work, I think. So we're in the, we're in the thick of it right now. We're on day like six or seven straight seven, I think. And we got another six or seven ago. So next Sunday, Easter Sunday, got it circled on my calendar.

It'll be the first day off, two weeks. We'll be coming to you live from bean town next week for our Easter special. Had a lot of fun with that last year. Gave God a hard time for killing those Egyptians. And I don't know, they will bring that back. They will do some passage reading. Maybe we'll have a Passover dinner.

And maybe this year's the year that I actually stay awake to watch all of the Ten Commandments, probably not, and also I don't have a TV. But if I had a TV, maybe this year would have been the year for me to stay awake. So never happened as a kid. I think one year like we taped it and it woke up in the morning to watch it. I don't know. The just the like from a critical move film perspective, that's the exit is stories so odd because you would think the climax would be leaving Egypt, right? And in a sense it is, but it's not a climax in like a traditional three-act movie structure sense

they leave Egypt and then there's like a solid hour of the movie still left for them to do Mount Sinai, Ten Commandments, Golden Calf, all the good stuff that they just smushed together in the movie. So that's crazy. You'd think like for everything that happens, Burning Bush, Ten Plagues, those cool magicians that turn their staffs into snakes, which is one of my favorite overlooked passages in the Bible. Casual magic, we've talked about it before, we will continue to talk about it because

it's fascinating. No one seems to care. All that happens, and then they finally get to leave and there's a great you know final chase sequence the Egyptians trying to run them down in their chariots part the Red Sea. Gipsens are right on their tails but God smites them down with the waters of the Red Sea and all their horses and stuff drown. You think okay happy ending right well. You got another two hours of TV time coming to you. So get your bathroom break in there. Okay. This has been somehow a 31-32-minute episode of the Bean Tom Podcast. First Sunday April 14th live from technically Hinsdale, Illinois, Chicago, and an Oasis. Never done a podcast from an Oasis before.

I don't often do podcasts in public spaces, but it can be kind of fun. I hope the audio turned out okay. We got ambient noise in here, music playing overhead but I think, I don't know, I did a test before this but then when I did the test I didn't have my headphones and so you can't actually tell because you're getting the same ambient noise just in your surroundings that you would on the recording so how do you actually know if it sounds good. I don't know, long story short, hopefully this sounds okay. So, that's about all I got for you. I don't forget all our newest updates,

bean-town blog, all our podcasts, all that good stuff. You know where to find it, it's bean-townpodcast.com. Shoot us an email. If you'd like it any points, comments, concerns, grievances, bad breakup stories, tender dates dates take all that stuff and Yeah, I wish I wish us luck on this road trip Long drive on Tuesday I'll walk you to Kansas City, so

Should be good. That's all I got for you Hopefully we get this uploaded. I don't know about this upload speed here at the oasis, but we're gonna do our best Can't post a snapchat video, but I might be able to post a 35-minute podcast, so we'll see how it goes. Okay, that's about all I got for you. Be safe. Use a hashtag Friends of the podcast. When you're talking about the Bean Tom podcast live on social media, everyone have a great week. Hopefully it stops snowing. And next week is Easter. So let's celebrate. We'll come to you live from Bean Tom next week, Easter Sunday. It should be a good time. Bring your pastel suits. I'll be wearing mine. So for all of us here, the Bean Tom Podcast is Quinn David Furnace, host creator, producer, best boy, being Tom Podcast. Thanks again to everyone for listening.

Thanks to the friends, thanks to the fans, and well, check in on you next time.