Beantown Podcast - 04282018_Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown Podcast

Episode Date: April 29, 2018

Quinn comes to you LIVE from the banks of the Mississippi to ramble about packing the night before, Avengers 3 spoilers, and Mark Twain

Welcome to the Beentown Podcast. Coming to you live from the banks of the beautiful Mississippi River here in gorgeous Memphis, Tennessee, where it is a cool 72 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, beautiful breeze blowing from north to south. I am literally on the banks of the Mississippi. I'm about 15 feet from the water, chilling out in the grass, and we are recording a podcast. This is the first ever Be Untown podcast hits the outdoors. So with that there will probably be some technical audio adjustments perhaps. I don't know what the wind is going to sound like. I've never had to deal with wind before in the Beentown podcast. But yeah, this is the best it's going to get. If

we're doing feedback or listen back playback later and determine that the wind is really crappy, then this audio will never make it out to anyone anyways, and it'll just be me listening to it. So if you made it this far, means the wind is not a major deterrent. My name is Quinn David Furnace. I am the creator host and more or less everything of the bean town podcast. This is stop number two. our bean town podcast spring break extravaganza road trip Maybe throw a couple more Now it's an adjective in there, but that's all right. We'll we'll keep going

Last week if you recall we were come to you live from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania the Susquehanna River runs right through that city, the capital of PA, also beautiful, but week number two, we are coming to you live from Memphis, Tennessee. Right across the river is the state of Arkansas, the natural state, and then south of us about 10 miles is the state of Mississippi, which while I have been to I have never spent much time there. But a beautiful area if you've never done Memphis before and I hadn't until this past fall. Easily one of the most underrated cities in America. So it's about the same size as Nashville. It's a little bit larger, but Memphis is very much blue collar emerging from not the rust belt, but just a very, very much an industrial type of atmosphere,

but it's just a very beautiful city. It doesn't feel crowded in any way. It's kind of like Baltimore, and that the downtown area is not bustling in any sense, but that's, I mean, that in a good way. The traffic is nothing compared to Nashville. If you ever done Nashville traffic, that blows pretty hard. Yeah, you have a lot closer access to a lot of great hiking areas. The Ozarks are only two or three hours away. The great Smoky Mountains are only two or three hours away. So, Memphis really like Pittsburgh, in my opinion, severely underrated cities.

But this one, one part of my job that I really like is being able to go visit and explore new places and through that I'm able to learn what cities I would like to settle down and what cities that I would not like to settle down. And for instance, I would love, well, I'm a Midwestern person. If I wasn't going to live in the Midwest, I would love to live in a Pittsburgh or a Memphis. Even Central Pennsylvania has its perks. Places I don't want to live in include anywhere in the deep south or southeast. Memphis is definitely as far south as I would ever go. I'm not interested in New England.

I'm not interested in New York or New Jersey for sure. Yeah, so that's my little plug for Memphis. You're welcome. We're not getting any advertisement or sponsorship dollars. In fact, you know, we've been trying to get in with Jack Links for months now and email them, try to cut a deal. They have not responded yet. So we will, we will stay hopeful their fingers crossed. I am sipping some iced coffee and I am working my way through a half dozen of the institution itself Gibson's

donuts if you don't know Memphis Gibson's donuts is the place you want to go right when you get here the two best food things about Memphis are the hot chicken there are a number of places you can do that pretty well. But if you want the donuts, tend all donuts as Gibson's, kind of similar to a Voodoo donuts in Portland, if you're trying to think of like, establishment and that important to the city,

it's not a crazy, adventurous, ridiculous flavors, type of thing. Like voodoo donuts is just pretty really good donuts, actually. And yeah, so we are working our way through half dozen of old fashions that is breakfast and lunch put together here got to tide me over until I get through work this afternoon and then potentially until I get to Nashville tonight. I am extremely excited and this has nothing to do

with the podcast. This is just me and my personal life. I am meeting up with about as not long last, but old. A friend is one can have. My friend Matt, who has lived in the Nashville area for, I don't know, probably going on 20 years or so. But knew him for a brief period of time, growing up as a young kid, I'm talking like, I think he and his family moved away when I was probably like, I don't know, eight or nine. So yeah, I have not seen my friend Matt

in a solid 15 years, and really looking forward to that, So yeah, I have not seen my friend Matt in Solid 15 years and really looking forward to that we are grabbing a drink Kind of just on the fly realize that I was going to have a free night in Nashville after driving there from Memphis this afternoon and said hey, I know one person there from Memphis this afternoon and said, Hey, I know one person total who lives in the state of Tennessee, let's make it happen. So looking forward to that, always a fan of connecting with old friends, whether we've kept in touch or not,

it's just, you know, there's something to be said for sharing that bond when you're very young and growing up, whether or not you've kept in touch. That's just something that life never takes away from you. So I'm very much looking forward to exploring that. Listener discretion is advised on the bean town podcast for two reasons. One, we will occasionally use some adult language here and there, although we have cleaned it up significantly in the past couple of weeks. I'm trying to keep my stress levels low, lower that blood pressure. So holding my tongue is part of that.

And that's ironic because a lot of today's podcast is going to be about rants. So I've got a lot of things that I want to say. That's number one. Number two, the podcast is just subjectively terrible so consider yourself for a warrant. This podcast and not right much for I don't you know I'm not sitting down like oh man like there's this half an hour material that I really want to get through here I've got a couple things To talk about but really it's going to be pretty I know I say we're gonna try to keep it short every week and the next thing. You know, it's like 42 minutes

It's not gonna be 42 minutes today because actually I have to Is a crazy person yelling out the window. I have to go to work, actually. So, we're gonna keep this brief. Let me get a donut here. What's on the agenda today? If you're wondering, it got some rants to get through.

They have some movie action. Haven't been talking much movies lately, but I've got something that I think you're gonna want to listen to. And then have a little excerpt. So normally I try to sing some intro, some outro music because that's what the people asked for, without my guitar in any public place. I think I'm going to avoid the rock songs this week, and we're instead going to read an excerpt straight from the man himself Mark Twain, master of the Mississippi, and the mentor of men, if you will. And we'll read an excerpt from that. It's not anything crazy, it's not anything humorous or exciting, or just going to read it.

And if you've never read life on the Mississippi before, it's a memoir, by Mark Twain, real life stories, his actual experiences. So we'll just read a little bit from that. Hopefully it will just be interesting, relaxing, and there's a good message to be had in there as well. So let's jump right in here. So we don't go waste meaningless time.

And also my computer battery is running low. And it turns out there are no outlets in the Mississippi River. So I don't know what no outlets in the Mississippi river. So, I don't know what they did in the old days to charge their iPhones and shit. Okay, let's start off with some rants. Let me get a bite of my donut. Let me tell you something before I jump in. There's a special place in my heart for Gibson's donuts and really

just donuts in general. Oh man, there's a huge log. It looks like an alligator. I wish you guys could see that. That's crazy. This world, man, but as I was saying there's a special place in my heart for donuts. That place specifically is my arteries in my high cholesterol. So, there's your little one liner for the day. Sybuchoffee, let's start ranting. In the news this week, Bill Cosby convicted guilty on three counts. Man is going to jail. Bro, you seriously need to get better.

Step up your game. The only way you can get with the ladies is by putting stuff in their beverages. And it shouldn't be that hard. Take it from someone who was like, from their beverages. And it shouldn't be that hard. Take it from someone who's like, we were talking about this last week. I'm like a winter six in a summer three on a scale of one to 10. That averages out to a 4.5.

A 4.5 can make it happen. Like once a year, I'm pretty sure you one of the most famous comedians of all time can make it happen once a year if not more frequent. So Bill Codby, FU, good riddance and I was reading about this the other day. So he's 80 years old. I think it's a 10 year sentence, something like that. A lot of people are saying, oh, he's probably just gonna kill himself

before he even sends himself to jail. I was just interesting. And it raises a, I think an interesting point. If you know you're going to jail and that's the end of it right that's where you're going to live the rest of your life. I was having this conversation with my lady friend the other day. How, you know, what's your strategy there? Are you just ready to go right away? Do you want to live it out a couple of weeks, a couple of months, and then be like,

this is boring time to go. And by go, I mean, off yourself. That's a thing, though. It's probably not as easy as one might think to kill yourself in prison. Cosby is home right now. I think more or less under house arrest would probably be pretty easy to kill himself in that situation. So we'll see what Bill does. Pretty sad situation, pretty frustrating for a lot of us. Myself included who grew up with Cosby's stand-up grew up with the Cosby's show Fat Albert. That's her thing.

Yeah, it's tough. My bigger question here though is why is Bill Cosby getting sent to jail and Donald Trump is president? There I said it. Probably not a popular opinion in Memphis but Cosby's getting accused of sexual assault, getting convicted of sexual assault, is now going to prison. And Donald Trump has been accused of sexual assault. I think about the same number of times, if not more, is Bill Cosby, and he's the most powerful, most important man in the country. So, I'm not a legal expert, never claimed to be. Although we have given some legal advice on the podcast here in the past, but maybe somebody can explain that to me. Is it erasing? I don't think so because Bill Cosby is so prominent, so powerful himself.

And I know it's apples and oranges to an extent, but at the same time it's, it maybe isn't that way. So if you have some legal expertise and you want to give us an update on why Cosby is going to prison and Donald Trump is president, please email us beantownpodcastyahu.com this beantown, B-E-A-N-T-O-W-N podcastyahu.com or if you just have relationship questions or any questions in general, like what's the deal with guys eating donuts on their podcasts? You can email us as well. You can also tweet at us where at Beentowncast Twitter, please follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, subscribe on YouTube, SoundCloud, iTunes, wherever.

You guys listen to your podcast, because that's what brings in the money. That's what makes this podcast work. That's how we potentially get more sponsors or just a sponsor. So you guys make it work. I love you. I love hearing from you.

That's rant number one. Rant number two is, is gonna get a little personal. And if you're listening to this, you probably, there's the potential that you've given me this excuse in the past. So first and foremost, I want to preface this by saying this is not a personal attack because I've known so many people who do this And it's not I'm not attacking a person. I'm attacking this excuse because I don't think it's a valid excuse and I'm calling bullshit on it Again happy to have people reach out and explain what they mean when they use this excuse But on its surface level, it's it's total crap. So here it is

people who excuse, but on its surface level it's total crap. So here it is. People who kind of either cancel plans or just say that they can't do something because they have to pack, that's it. How, okay, I know that I'm a man and I am not like a neat freak. I'm not at super well dressed. I'm Pretty low maintenance But come on I was doing this weekend trip to Memphis and I recognize some of you have longer trips and you're going to different climates That's fine if I was coming to Memphis for a week, seven days, even two weeks, this would not change my process drastically. We're talking plus five minutes, perhaps.

I woke up yesterday morning, before coming in to work at 8.30 a.m. I wake up in extra 15 minutes early, 15.15 to pack. Why? Because here's what that process looks like for me. And please reach out and tell me what your process looks like for you because I just don't get it.

I pull out my suitcase. I pack any work shoes or gym shoes that I might need, depending on what I'm wearing before my flight a pack one or two pairs of pants depending on how long I'm going for I Pack one or two shirts depending on how long I'm going for and underwear and socks and a belt and ties and In terms of like what I need while I'm actually traveling I have a

book I make sure I have my music I have all my chargers and my toiletries what else are you guys packing that is taking your whole at thing night I don't I don't understand like are people am I just weird and then I'm not standing in front of my closet for half an hour just standing there like, hmm maybe I'll wear this this day or I don't know if that matches. Get your pants, get your shirt, as long as you don't look like a German tourist I guarantee you're going to be fine. I just I don't get it. If you can shed light on that, please go for it. I know 15 minutes is on the short end of quote unquote packing, but who's not doing something fun, social

or whatever the night before they're traveling because they have to pack. I just don't get it. The way I see it is just an excuse or not wanting to do something. If you don't want to do something, that's fine. Just say, I don't want to do it. I think people try to be a little bit too nice sometimes and dance around the bush, say, hey, I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. But I have to pack, can't be the, you can't lead with that, right?

So that's what I wanna say about that. We're gonna move on. This is a brief one, but hopefully this might be a PSA for some people out there. People other than my dad, because that's a clear, kind of superiority relationship relationship but don't call

other people buddy or bud and I've said this to people in the past and they seem really confused like oh I always just call people that like casually just as a whatever it's it's not like I just don't really know how to say it any differently. The connotation of calling somebody bud or buddy is like a clear, you're talking down to them type of thing. Now here's what I want to clarify about this. If you're 30 years old and you're a waiter and you're serving a kid who's 10 years old, I don't see an issue with calling him bud or buddy, right?

But when I walk into a coffee shop, and I don't know, there's a guy who presumably looks the same ages me, and so I'm 23 years old. I think that with my looks, I can range anywhere from about 22 to, I don't know, 28, 29. I don't think anyone's mistaking me for 30, but I think I could easily pass for, you know, 28, 29.

And that person calls you butter, buddy. I'm confident that not everybody is doing it to like establish that power, that dominance, in that interaction, but I know a lot of people are. So just cut the crap. You can call me man, you can call me sir. I'll even go with a dude sometimes. But if that's a man, hey man, here's your coffee.

If it's a lady, I don't think many ladies are getting called butter, buddy, but miss, here's your coffee. It's just a little thing. It's like, I don't, we don't need to do it, right? We can change, we can be better at that. So don't call people, bud, or buddy. It's just not best practice. Where, man, the rants, this is just a rant podcast I apologize here.

We're almost done with these, then we're going to go into the movies. When you email somebody with a direct and clear question like, hey, can you do this on this date? Something like that, that's just an example of what's been going on with me at work lately and they just don't even respond. Like, I don't know what what else to say. You out you can say yes you can say no, but just not responding like that's not chill. That's not cool. So if you get a question via email or text don't just ignore it

Try to be a decent human being Oh, this happened to me last night people who line up at their flight gates of the airport Like 30 minutes before boarding because they want to get the best seats Even it's it's not seats. Even it's not Southwest, right? So it's not like if you go on earlier, you get a better seat, right? We've all got our assigned seats. You're either sitting comfortably at the gate or you're standing in a line uncomfortably at the gate.

I don't, I don't get it. For a lot of people, it's the overhead thing, and I understand that. But I don't know. I just can't be everybody's experience. Something else that I really love is when you have a suitcase or something that you're bringing on board to put in the overheads. You know, you're bringing on board to put in the overheads and the flight attendants are the lady at the gate says, we are an overbooked to whatever so we're going to have to check some luggage. I know people who hate that. I love it, right?

I get to check my luggage for free. I feel like losing your luggage on a domestic flight from point A to point B is not a thing these days, especially when you're checking it at the gate. Like, how is it? I would love, again, if you've had that happen to you, then email me, but I have never had that experience just going from one flight, right? You're not doing any crazy connections or anything. I know people who hate that. I love it. It's complimentary. I don't have to lug that stuff around. Anyways, last rant here, Graceland. How expensive it is. Graceland is like five miles south of Memphis. It's like 40 bucks for a tour.

What the hell? That's not what Elvis would have wanted. Not my America. Okay. We have to move on here. Movies, spoilers for Avengers Infinity War. If you have not seen it yet, close your ears as I get another donut here. We are doing spoilers for Avengers 3.

Number one, Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. Number two, Han Solo dies. And it's Adam Driver who kills him. Number three, Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are the same character. Number four, it's Gwyneth Paltrow's head in the box, prize. Number five, Teddy Daniels is an anagram of Andrew Latis.

Number six, final spoiler, Jigsaw's in the room, the whole time. That's the end of the spoilers. Want to get through that quickly. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I've heard good things. I can't stand these like 30 superhero movies. I don't get it. I don't see the appeal.

Ant-man's not even in this one. Neither is Jeremy Renner. Neither is Clark Greg. Is that his name? Agents of Shield Guy, I don't know, from New Adventures of Old Christine. I love that guy. So yeah, there are your spoilers. The last thing we want to get to here is Ask Promise, the excerpt from Life on the Mississippi. from life on the Mississippi. So, before, oh man, look at the size of that boat. It's like 200 yards long.

That's so cool. Let me get a bite here. Coming up next couple weeks on the Bean Town Pod Cafe. Next week, we're super excited. We're going to be live from Boston, Massachusetts. That's going to be lit. We're going out there to do a podcast with Ryan Liggin and Chris in English of the Car Ride Convose podcast,

very funny people, very well-produced podcasts. Check that out. If you get the chance, we're going to be guest-starring on one of those. Week after that we will be live from Washington DC. That should be a lot of fund nations capital. Maybe we'll talk politics. Maybe we'll get Chuck Todd on. I don't know. Sleepy eye chucked Todd is that what Trump says. Damn these donuts are good. So yeah, this was stop number two on the bean town podcast spring break road trip at Shreveganza. This has been Quinn David Fernos. Thank you for listening. We are going to close it out Thank you for listening. We are going to close it out

with an excerpt from life on the Mississippi It's it's fairly long actually. I was trying to find one that I really wanted But that was brief and I couldn't find exactly what I wanted to say so We're gonna go a little bit long with the excerpt. We're not talking like 10 minutes, but That's all that's gonna be left on the podcast here. That's how we're going to close it. So if you're not interested in wit and wisdom from the Twain master himself, thanks for tuning in. And we'll catch you next week live from Boston, Massachusetts. Without further ado, here's Mark Twain. This is an excerpt from his memoir Life on the Mississippi. Now when I had mastered the language of this

water and it come to know every trifling feature that bordered the Great River as familiarly as I knew the letters of the alphabet, I had made a valuable acquisition, but I had lost something too. I had lost something which could never be restored to me while I lived. All the grace, the beauty, the poetry had gone out of majestic river. I still keep in mind a certain wonderful sunset, which I witnessed when steam-boating was new to me. A broad expanse of the river was turned to blood, when steam-boating was new to me. A broad expanse of the river was turned to blood. In the middle distance, the red hue brightened into gold, through which a solitary log came floating, black and conspicuous. In one place, a long, slanting mark lay sparkling upon the water, and in another,

the surface was broken by boiling, tumbling rings that were as many tinted as an opal. the boiling, tumbling rings that were as many tinted as an opal. Where the ready flush was faintest, was a smooth spot that was covered with graceful circles and radiating lines ever so delicately traced. The shore on our left was densely wooded and the somber shadow that fell from this forest was broken in one place by a long, ruffled trail that shone like silver and and high above the forest,

wall, a clean stemmed dead tree, with a single leafy bow that glowed like a flame in the unobstructed splendor that was flowing from the sun. Their graceful curves reflected images, woody heights, soft distances, and over the whole scene, far and near, the dissolving lights drifted steadily, enriching it, every passing moment with new marvels of coloring. I stood like one bewitched, a drink it in, and a speechless rapture. The world was new to me, and I had never seen anything like this at home. But as I have said, a day came when I began to seize from noting the glories and the charms, which the moon and the sun and the twilight

brought upon the river's face. Another day came when I seized all together to note them, then that sunset scene had been repeated. I should have looked upon it without rapture, and should have commented upon it inwardly in this fashion. This sun means that we are going to have wind tomorrow, that floating log means that the river is rising, small thanks to it. That slanting mark on the water refers to a bluff brief, which is going to kill somebody's steamboat one of these nights. If it keeps on stretching out like that, those tumbling boils show dissolving

bar and a changing channel there. The lines and circles and the slick water over yonder are warning that that troublesome place is sholding up dangerously. That silver streak in the shadow of the forest is the break from a new snag, and he is located himself, in the very best place he could have found to fish for steamboats. That tall dead tree, with a single living branch, is not going to last long. And then how is a body ever going to get through this blind place at night without the friendly old landmark? No, the romance and the beauty were all gone from the river. All the value any feature of it had for me now was the amount of usefulness it could furnish

toward composing, compassing, excuse me, the safe piloting of a steamboat. Since those days, I have pity doctors from my heart. What does the lovely flush and a beauty's cheek mean to a doctor but a break that ripples above some deadly disease? Are not all her visible charms so thick with what are to him, the signs and symbols of hidden decay? Does he ever see her beauty at all? Or doesn't he simply view her professionally and comment upon her unwholesome condition

all to himself. And doesn't he sometimes wonder whether he has gained most or lost most by learning his trade?