Beantown Podcast - 11042018_Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown Podcast

Episode Date: November 4, 2018

Quinn rambles about getting dumped on Halloween, breaking up etiquette, and pretty much nothing else #FriendsofthePodcast

Hey, what's happening? It's Quinn David furnace. It's the beam Tom podcast Sunday November 4th, what's going on? How is everyone? What's been happening? Happy fall. We're finally into the 50 degrees Getting some wind getting some rain. The leaves are a beautiful combination of orange red and yellow always a good time. To be had, this is me. This is Quinn David Furnace, coming to you live from 817 St. Paul Street, the Bean Town podcast, the People's podcast, and one of Baltimore City's top 500 podcasts, as voted by you you the fans. Well first things first. Listener discretion is advised when you are listening to the bean town podcast number one. It is objectively terrible and today

it's going to be objectively sad. This is going to be maybe a rough episode, certainly a candid one. is gonna be maybe a rough episode, certainly a candid one. Number two, the podcast, I mix that up. We use some language here and there. You get the gist we've been doing this for 10 months now. I don't think. I have to explain everything to everyone. So you're probably thinking, because I assume, when you listen to the Beentom podcast,

you don't just listen to an episode by itself. You probably listen to all the ones leading up before it. So if you're on about our 26 now of our anthology, you know from last week that we anticipated coming to you live from the Appalachian Mountains this weekend why? Because we are going to be traveling there with the lady who have been dating for the past several months. And you might notice that we're not in the mountains and that there is no lady involved on the podcast.

So PSA, Tiniwain, listening, hoping to get their weekly chuckles in this episode probably won't have very many chuckles for you. It's been a tough go of things for a lot of different things. I think we'll probably focus most of our attention on the breakup for the next several minutes. But I am pretty sure I have strep. You know, they say if you can shine a flashlight back in there and you see the white stuff all over your tonsils, then that's the telltale sign. Also, for me, I get sore throats always before I have my colds.

But I just had my colds back when we were on Fall Tour, right after the Bulling Green episode, you got sick. No, right after the Rockford episode with Matthew, remember that, because I was sick on the podcast. That was fun, the concert sucked. But I've had this sore throat for probably four or five days now and usually the sore throat is two days, then it goes away and then I get the cold.

Well, this sore throat is just sticking around. So it's probably strapped. I need to go try to get into the doctor. Sometime this week gets him antibiotics, but it's just not fun. It hurts the talk, hurts the swallow, trouble sleeping. You can just feel how inflamed it is in the throat.

So that's just kind of a bummer. You know, it's not a major thing, but just kind of a pain in the butt. And then some other things happen in here and there, since getting back to being town that have been tough to deal with. And then, yeah, so on top of all of that, on, let's see, Wednesday, was Halloween. And you talked about Halloween being super spooky for the ghouls and the goblins and the the tricks or the treats. My Halloween ended up being a lot spookier than that because my girlfriend who had been seeing for a couple of months. It broke it off with me. And there's a lot here.

Some of it just frustration, some of it sadness, some of it. We're going to get a little sign fell deen with regarding some etiquette. But the first thing to know is that it is one of those breakups that came completely out of the blue. And one of those things, that came completely out of the blue and one of those things they don't, I still don't really understand. So I had gotten back from tour

last, 10 days ago, last Friday. And we'd spent lots of time together and everything was going great. We did her birthday party, you know, big house party with all her friends at her apartment, you know, cooking and party with all her friends at her apartment, you know, cooking and getting the apartment ready and all that stuff. And, you know, she went wild and I'm at an age now where I can't, you know, stay up to

to a party like I might have used to been able to in college, perhaps. But so they all did that while I ducked out early and went to bed, but everything was good. And we even hung out early this week. And of course, we had reservations to go to, I believe the site was in Virginia, but we had rented an Airbnb, it was a cabin. And yeah, it was going to be really fun getting away for the weekend, getting to spend some time with each other because I've been traveling seven and a half out of the last eight weeks. So I was really looking forward to that and let's see, Wednesday afternoon at work, get

a phone call and basically the message was Trying to think exactly what it was. I think one of the points was moving Too fast which was strange to me because I'd been away for so long. So I'm not quite sure Maybe she had the wrong guy. I don't know. But moving too fast and she felt really empty inside and like she couldn't be the girlfriend she wanted me to be. So she said, well, we need to slow it down. And I said, well, I've been slowed down before.

Look, this isn't my first rodeo. So do you want to slow down or do you just want to stop? And of course, you give some of that opening which I'm glad he did because I would much rather be stopped and then slow down. It's over. So my first, my, the very first thing that went into my head which I think just shows where my mind is operating 75% of the time is that you can't, and this isn't like me being super sad, this is just me basically curbing your enthusiasm. You can't date somebody for three months

and break up with him on the phone. Okay, break up etiquette. There have been documented sign-feld episodes episodes on this but allow me to add to The anthology you can't go through with the phone breakup. You got at least give somebody a lunch date Or the afternoon in the park the walking date at least I could handle the walking date, but you can't go Three months where everything is, and this was a, from my perspective, a very good, very solid relationship, and that had been acknowledged by

both parties. Communication was great, physical stuff was great, just really enjoyed each other's company and then just boom, face hits the wall and you can't, I don't know. Not that I don't think it'd feel any better about the situation if I had been broken up with in person, but just PSA for anybody out there. So let's talk but just, you know, PSA for anybody out there. So let's talk about this a little bit. How long before you can't do the phone breakup anymore? I think everyone who's listening here can agree that you can't do three months and then have the phone call breakup. Unless it's always been long distance and like,

I'm in bean town and she's in Dubai or something. Then I get the phone call break up. Unless it's always been long distance and like I'm in bean town and she's in Dubai or something, then I get the phone call break up because those plane tickets, especially around the holidays are gonna run ya, you know, 1,200 bucks, but, but when you live two miles away from each other, the phone call for the break up just seems a little, I don't even know what the right word is because I'm not like

Butt hurt over the fact that I got dumped on the phone. It's just like that's not a thing like you can't do that so I think I Don't know because what's the hierarchy here? Are we thinking ghosting? Then text message Then phone message then in person, I think that's a pretty fair hierarchy. So I think, for me, ghosting is never on my radar if you're in a committed relationship.

So look, we've all had Tinder dates where you might go out once and you just weren't feeling it. So either just nothing happens after that or you send a message saying, I had a really good time and that's it. And I don't think anyone feels upset about that. Now, if you get ghosted when you're in like an actual relationship, so that's not cool. And I don't think that should be ever on the table.

So let's move it to the tax message. I think if you've gone on anywhere from one to three dates, I think a tax message is okay. Because I think three dates, for me at least, is plenty long enough to get a feel for somebody to see if this is actually something or if you need to pursue greener pastures. The phone call, I think, I don't know. For me, and maybe I'm old-fashioned, but the statute of limitations on the phone call doesn't extend much further. I think one to like maybe five dates is OK.

Because look, if you've gone on a six date with somebody, we're already talking about a period of probably three weeks on average. That's almost a period of probably three weeks on average. That's almost a month of you guys going out. That's pretty significant. That's a lot of FaceTime. They're going to have some emotional bonds that have been forged. So I don't think I think five dates, and this is pretty arbitrary because I'm just doing

this off the top of my head is I think phone call. But after five dates or let's say one month of you guys going out like, come on, the phone call is not on the table anymore. And it's not like this is probably a thing that bugged me the most. There wasn't anything leading up to this, you know, I did my research afterwards because I haven't, I haven't been broken up within a very long time. So I just, these aren't emotions that I've experienced in a while. So I research, you know, what are the telltale science that your partner is going to break up with you?

None of them were, were matching. You know, I just don't have any sort of, that's, that's to break up with you. None of them were matching. I just don't have any sort of, that's the toughest thing for me. So there's this nothing that was gonna say, hey, warning sign here. So I apologize to everyone listening. I was really excited for this episode because we were gonna be in a new state from which we had never podcasted before and we're going to potentially get

the lovely lady on the podcast for the first time which would have been a fun dynamic because we always have fun. It's funny to say no. Always had fun when we were together and I think that would have really come through on the podcast. But alas, we are sitting alone in the apartment and by myself. So a little bit different dynamic. It also means that I didn't really prepare anything because I wasn't anticipating having to prepare something. And so now we're just doing the straight talk expressed right like the John McCain 2008 presidential campaign.

Come and you straight from the heart none of this has been written none of this was really prepared ahead of time and you might think well when this happened on Wednesday it's now Sunday you had three or four days. It's just between some of the other struggles that I'm going through and this happening out of nowhere really a blindside hit and then the strep throat is just kind of really bugging me as well. It's been really difficult to focus

and you know, I even have work that I need to do this weekend to prepare for this week coming up and it's just been really tough to do that as well. So going through a tough time, I don't, I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist so I can't diagnose myself, it probably a mild depressive episode. I don't know if that's something you can get, if you're not already clinically depressed, but it's kind of how we're feeling. Now, there is a great, you know, multi-minute stand-up bit that can be borne out of getting broken up with on Halloween. And I, I didn't actively spend a ton of time trying to think about it just because it's been

feeling a little down. But there are some good things there. I don't know if you want to call them silver linings, but look, yet broken up with on Halloween, you already got a whole lot of candy, so you don't have to worry about going out to the store, to the target or the CVS to load up on the fun-sized snickers because you can already just drown your sorrows and chocolate and you don't even have to do anything. It's already right there in front of you. You were going to drown yourself in chocolate regardless. Just you can just throw that sad emotion in there and you hardly notice it's there. The other thing is that you can go get completely wasted

and it's socially acceptable, even on Wednesday night because it's Halloween and I will say that I didn't get extremely wasted. I had two beers on Wednesday night with a friend and that's far from sloshed, but you know, got a little buzz going, it was nice. One other thing that's made this week, hell, it difficult, and I hate the fact

that they use word, hell, is that getting back off of tour stopped eating like shit. Apologists for my language, which means diet time. You know, they do, and you need to lose some pounds here. So it's been a lot of cauliflower rice, and lentils, and kale, and flax. This week, trying to get back on the wig and get back into running and all that stuff

in a healthy lifestyle. Picked like the perfect week to start dieting. I haven't been amazing with the diet this week, but actually all things considered and the way that this week was just the week from hell. It's been okay. There's only been one or two lapses, two or three maybe. And overall, I feel okay about it and hopefully it will get easier. Although as it gets colder, I don't know. Usually for me, it gets tougher to die when it gets colder

because that's when I really am craving the carbs, but it's been okay. We spent too much time last week on the podcast, talking about the diet, so it's been well-dacumented, but it's, yeah, a lot coming to you at once. But getting broken up with on Halloween, I all I could think of was the episode in season one, is it of, I believe season one, or maybe season two, I don recall of the office the American version when

Michael has to fire somebody by the end of the month and of course it's like to wear 31st And initially he wants to fire I think Stanley and so he does Dwight to go do it and that doesn't work and then he tries to fair creed and so he does Dwight to go do it. And that doesn't work. And then he tries to fair Creed and Creed convinces Michael to fire Devon and then Michael fires Devon. And that's less you ever really see a Devon But that's all I could think of the parallels getting fired on Halloween, which I didn't think would that would be the real kicker As if I got fired from a job in the next week, although I don't think that's going to happen. The fingers crossed, knock on wood, all the good stuff.

So it's been rough. I've got some coffee here. I fucking love Duncan, man. They think the biggest, there are a couple of things that are really tough. One is just there were some things coming up that I was really looking forward to doing together. So of course we were going to spend this weekend together in the Appalachian Mountains,

which I already talked about, but also, we weren't going to spend Thanksgiving proper together, but my brother is coming back to Baltimore for that weekend after Thanksgiving Jack podcast legend you know, I'm saying Wonderwall played cribbits together Maybe we'll do that again except not only have two mics. So you actually be able to hear us. It'll be great He's come into Same Paul Street and part in me after Thanksgiving for two days and I was looking forward to you know introducing him to

To the lady and you know hanging out and just you know having a good time three adults but that's off the table now and then I think a really tough thing and something that I don't feel a resentment towards tough thing and something that I don't feel resentment towards. Again, it's just sadness. I don't have very strong anger or resentment emotions, but I do have pretty strong sadness ones or just depressed, such empty ones. I semi modeled my holiday travel schedule around being able to get back here in order to hang out with her on Christmas. So I'm going to Texas and we'll surely have our Christmas Well, they're okay. There are some Chris. There's one specific Christmas special that's gonna happen on Christmas day

Particular really now There's one specific Christmas special that's going to happen on Christmas day, particularly now, that I'm not going to announce yet because I haven't fully formulated the idea in my head, but we will be having a pre-Christmas special from Texas, which is where my family is congregating. congregating, but I'm getting back to the East Coast on Christmas Eve, the night of Christmas Eve, was the night before Christmas, if you will. And we had planned to hang out at her family's house on Christmas Day. Excuse me. And so that was exciting. I was like, okay, I'm going to get to spend time with my family, then gonna get to spend time with my family Then go get to spend time with her and her family on actual Christmas like this is gonna work out great. Well

now I'm flying to the east coast on Christmas Eve the rest of my family is flying to the west coast on Christmas Eve and Guess which one of those is gonna be home alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day one of those is going to be home alone on Christmas Eve Christmas Day, you know pun intended. So it's going to be, you know, maybe when we get there, maybe you'll be the greatest thing of all time, probably not. Although I do have something in the works for a bean town unplugged special that day. So look out for that. But long story short, instead of the sweaters and the stockings and the fireplace and the hugs and the presents and all that stuff, what you're listening to right now, me sitting alone

in my apartment, drinking coffee and bitching about my life. That's pretty much what Christmas date is going to be like. And for anyone out there who's like, hello, maybe we should invite Quinn to our family thing. Don't worry about it. I wouldn't be much fun to have around. And I've got some artistic creative things as they pertain to the podcasts that are going to be happening on that day. So it's sad for now trying to keep an optimistic look on it. So that's one thing that was really kind of frustrating and has me down tried. And there was there was another point that I wanted to make about it.

The whole experience and maybe it will come back to me. But yeah, just for now lots of sadness. It has been a tough couple of days just yeah. So I'll be okay, but you know, for now, I think there's a there's not a morning slash grieving period. Those words are too strong, but just... Okay, it's going to take a week, hopefully no longer than a couple weeks to kind of just emotionally feel balanced and back to normal. I do remember the other thing I was going to say, so I have, and maybe this is true of you, all the listeners, maybe it's not,

maybe it's just something that's unique to me and is a unique character flaw, but I tend to get into the mode where, so just inherently I'm not the type of person who's always texting someone, always communicating with other people, always having a Snapchat chain going, that's just not who I am because I'm much happier.

Just occasionally I check in on friends who text message or phone calls and all that stuff is good, but I think everybody leads your own lives, connect with the people you want to connect with when it becomes relevant. But, you know, I don't have the energy, nor like the time, or the emotions, to always have a bunch of different text messages going with friends. So what that means is that when I do have somebody who's in my life as the lady I was dating was come into your life and they're like your go to person

and that they become, it's not like an obsessive thing and it's not even that you're spending too much time on them. It's just they're your primary person that you're texting or that you're calling after a rough day or you got a silly photo snapchat thing going with. That's just like, and it's not, it's not neglecting other people in my life because I'm not changing the amount of time I was giving to them. It's not like I was cancelling on a bunch of plans with other friends so I could spend more time with just this one

person. That's not what it's like. But when you lose that, you go from feeling kind of, that's kind of your emotional support. It's a constant in life. I'm the type of person who likes my routines. So I like knowing where the emotional support is coming from. And knowing where the laughs are coming from and knowing where those just amazing,

candid conversations are going to be coming from. And when that leaves you, when that seizes to exist and when it happens and the way it did for me where literally at 4 p.m. on Wednesday, everything was great and I felt great about pretty great about my life in general and then, you know, literally minutes later that happened and then throughout the rest of the week some other personal things happening now having And not having that emotional support, not having that rock that you are used to leaning on, relying on just being able to talk through your stuff with, and there's been plenty of stuff before this even happened,

not related to the relationship, but to some of my own personalized stuff. That is, and it's just completely swept away in an instant. Not even like can we get together, can we talk through this, tell me how you're feeling, just like literally a 90 second phone call, that's something I didn't even mention earlier. This phone call, what it wasn't even like, let's talk through this, let's talk through how we're feeling for five to ten minutes. This isn't happening, it's over. Click.

That is tough. That's really tough. That's when you become, it turns into a dangerous time when you might slip into really, you know, really bad eating or severe drinking or just like not being able to get out of bed and neglecting work, which is a whole other story. So I've been pretty, pretty proud of myself for balancing the emptiness and the depression and the sadness that I've been feeling and the sickness, my stupid throat in the past couple of days, with knowing that in order for my life to continue to have some sort of semblance, some sort of purpose I need to keep going

and keep doing well the things that I have control over and understanding that it's gonna get better eventually. It just blows right now, man. It really sucks. So that's sort of what's been going on. If you have any condolences or if you're just wondering, dude, what the hell is with this podcast? It's like the most depressing thing I listen to all week.

You can always, always send your emails to bean-townpodcast at Yahoo.com. That's bean-town, B-E-A-N-T-W-N podcast. A-Yahoo.com, you can always tweet at Yahoo.com that's bean town, B-E-A-N-T-U-W-N podcast, A Yahoo.com, you can always tweet at us. We are at Bean Town Cast, we're on Facebook. One of the year two projects is potentially looking into getting an Instagram page since that is seeming like it's becoming a pretty big thing. a pretty big thing. I manage the Instagram page for my position, my professional position, and it's been a big learning experience, but it's been lots of fun as well, lots of hard work. So maybe that translates to the Bington podcast Instagram page. It's one of the year

two projects. We're going to be going through the entire list of year to ideas, visions, goals, projects, and a later episode because I don't have the full list yet, but you can always, soon you'll be able to find us on Instagram. If you're listening, maybe you're coming to us from YouTube, maybe you're coming from SoundCloud, iTunes, Apple podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Player FM, everywhere where your podcasts are and nowhere where your podcasts aren't. So regardless of where you're listening,

go ahead and throw us a like button, share it, comment, subscribe, rate us on iTunes. I believe we're still at 40 stars, which is pretty good. It's a biblical number. Most celebrities only get one star. So pretty pleased with that. Also my Uber rating, it's like 4.94. So I think we talked about that when we were in Chicago

with our friend HB94. But that's all the places you can find us. So I'm gonna wrap it up. There was nothing crazy fun about this. It was just a very candid, very raw isn't a great word, because I never feel like I'm that raw, because I have a certain emotional balance that I try to bring to my everyday life regardless.

Apologies for just spending half an hour being really real and having nothing prepared, some circumstances, beyond my control, unfortunately. So, hope everyone has a good week. I went it saw mid 90s Jonah Hills movie yesterday. It's solid. It's not gonna change your life, but it is a, you know, it's worth going to see or seeing on Red Box or DVD whenever it comes out. Just 90 minutes, pretty quick, little slice of American life. So good stuff. This has been Quinn David Furnace.

Thank you for listening to my podcast. I hope everyone is having a lovely autumn. I hope no one else gets strep throat or Dumped on Halloween all in one week because that's just kind of a Tough thing that I wouldn't wish on anybody else. So happy listening. Don't forget to use the hashtag friends of the podcast Not friends of podcasts. That's fake news Hashtag friends of the podcast when you're talking about the bean-ton podcast with your friends and your family. So

Takeaways if you are going to break up with somebody don't do it on a Halloween. Don't do it over the phone if you're dating for three months and Go check out mid 90s. Don't hell's new movie. So thanks everyone for listening. Sorry for being such a bummer And I hope everyone has a good week. Thanks everyone for listening, sir, for being such a bummer, and I hope everyone has a good week.