Beantown Podcast - Christmas Special Year 5 (Beantown Podcast 12202022)
Episode Date: December 21, 2022Quinn is coming in HOT and LIVE to expose some centuries-old Christmas myths. We did not hold back. Listener discresion advised....
Transcript
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I'm just not roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nip in that shear nose
You'll tide carols, being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos
Everybody knows a turkey and some this
Oh, help to make the season bright
Tater tots with their eyes all a glow, will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know that Santa goodies on his sleigh, and every mother's child is going
to spy to see if reindeer really know how to fly. fly and so I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from one to 92 although it's been said
Many times, many ways Merry Christmas to you
Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furnace. Welcome to my show, Quinn David Furnace presents the Beentown podcast for, well, we're recording on Tuesday December 20th,
2022.
What's going on?
How are you?
My name is Quinn and this is my show.
I know what you're saying.
Quinn, you just dropped an episode two days ago.
What are you going, what's going on?
What's happening?
And I tell you that, well, I told you we would be doing this. I told you that you're going to be doing this. I told you that you're going to be doing this. I told you're saying, when you just dropped an episode two days ago, what are you going,
what's going on?
What's happening?
And I tell you,
I told you we would be doing this Sunday
when we recorded.
That's just how the cookie crumbles
around the holidays.
There's one rule we have here
at the Bean Town Podcast
and that is we bring you new,
fresh live content every single week
that we are live on the air.
And I believe this is episode 258, that's 258 weeks
where I have been checking in on you.
Never once on this show, although we've mentioned it
and we've teased it, it's never happened.
Never once have we recorded a month's worth of episodes
and then just dropped them periodically.
We, this is 258 separate live installments of Quinn David Fernosper's
Institute of Being Town Podcast. Welcome to our Christmas special for year five.
I am the creator, the missile toer, the chest nutter, all that good stuff.
A chest nutter does not sound appropriate.
Let's cut that.
For this show, Quinn David Ferns presents
the Bean Town Podcast.
We are one of the top 500 podcasts here
on the north side of Chicago.
And we are coming to you live on a Tuesday night,
frankly, just because I'm off today.
I had a little bit of time earlier at a brewery,
the Guile Brewing, to do some writing for this show.
Yes, I prepared slightly, ever so slightly,
around 30 seconds, give or take, 45 to be generous.
But it's just, you know, the way things work
around the holidays, you're busy,
you're doing family stuff tomorrow, going to the suburbs,
and then, you know, you don't wanna be burdened with having to do a podcast out there, and then Christmas is on a Sunday. And I mean,
I'm close. I'm not going to do it because I'm a little bit gassed at this point.
Wrote a big fantasy football note earlier today. So I'm a little bit gassed just creatively. So I'm
not going to do a second episode for kind of our New Year special, which is probably going to be needed at some point though, because as you all know, brother, the podcast Jack furnace is getting married on December 30th, which is a Friday.
We're going to have to find carve out half an hour to do an episode there. It's tough because it's, you know, it's good because you got a bunch of family in town, and you can have a really fun episode, you know, draw, drop a concept or something,
but it's also like, there are so many other things
that we have to do and want to do.
So, not sure how that cookie is going to crumble,
but that's a good problem to have.
Just like listening to the Bean Town podcast,
it's problematic, but it's a good problem to have.
Hello to those of you on YouTube, it's good to see you, what's problematic, but it's a good problem to have. Hello to those of you on YouTube.
It's good to see you.
What's happening?
What's going on?
I decided to go live on YouTube.
So if you want to watch this after the fact for audio streamers,
CastBox, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
PlayRFM, wherever you get your podcast.
I don't care. Apple, Google Play, whatever. I play your FM wherever you get your podcasts.
I don't care.
Apple, Google Play, whatever.
You can watch us on YouTube.
I'll tell you this.
If you are, if you're coming streaming a couple days later, you didn't join our live show tonight.
You're really not missing much.
I didn't even go out and get our bean-town podcast live on air sign so it's in the other room.
It's literally me on the couch with my fancy new Cubs sweater from father of the girlfriend
Shout out to Rachel Raymo shout out to Jose Raymo for his hot new Cubs pullover sweater
It's pretty cool my first time wearing it. I love it. It's kind of it's old school. It's got like the Indians colors
Like Cleveland Indians.
Of course, we can't say that anymore.
We can't say Eskimo's anymore.
Suppose the FCC is going to find me, because I didn't say a list of their discretion
is advised when I listened to the show.
Number one, we'll occasionally do some language, number two, and practice of Jekyll Terrible.
FCC is going to find me for saying Cleveland Indians, because you can't say that anymore.
But it's sort of got the Cleveland Indians colors.
I got my DePaul hat on I got my sheen sweatpants S H E I N their hot hot hot
have sheen sweatpants and probably gonna be breaking out my sheen suit jacket
at some point during the family festivities next weekend just because it's a
great suit jacket that I got for like 12 bucks. I gave it a test run in
Manhattan last month and it killed. I was walking down the street. I was like Toby McGuire and
Spider-Man 3 when he's got the you know the cool new attitude and not look on life and he's
snapped his fingers and he walks out of the bank and he's doing the Dante call pepper you know
celebration with his hands and his arms. It's good stuff. That's sort of how I feel when I'm wearing my sheen jacket.
For those of you out there bitching, first of all, it's Christmas, get over it, second of all,
I know it's apparently it's shine. I was not familiar with this retailer, shine,
up until about a month ago, I guess,
a month and a half, two months at this point
when I made the purchase, I don't really recall
how I ended up, I think I was looking for just like a
solid pair of, you would call them sweatpants,
I would call them swishwishpants,
because that's the name, the onomatopoeia, onomatopenomatic, it can't spell that.
Adject sound they make as you're walking, sweatpants can refer to a lot of things but if you
got kind of that soft cotton vibe, that's what I think of when I think of sweatpants,
these are kind of the thin synthetic kind kind of fabric, if you will.
They just serve different purposes.
Anyways, I think I was shopping
and just looking for a solid pair of those
because I had a good pair of kind of the softer ones,
but my best swishwish pants, which are blue,
which I still wear are in the house.
They have a hole in the crotch.
So I said I needed some new ones.
So I was shopping the clearance section.
Somehow I found this retailer called Shine, So, I said I needed some new ones. So I was shopping the clearance section.
Somehow I found this retailer called Shine,
which looks like Sheen on my Google search or something.
So I found some pants there.
They have this, if you're not watching the YouTube stream,
they're just like regular kind of grayish, blue,
swish-swish pants, but they've got this hell
hell of a kick-ass rainbow kind of stripe going
down the side. It's like the next best thing after the Rex Kwon Doe pants from Napoleon Dynamite,
whatever that actor's name is. Not John Grease who we all love from White Lotus, but he's in
he's in office space to a cantedric bader. It's got this cool stripe going down. It likes it's
blue and purple at the bottom,
then it gets kind of red and pink,
gets back to blue at the top.
It's awesome.
And apparently, I really don't have any memory of this.
Maybe I was drunk high, both, I don't know,
when I was shopping.
I also found this kickass kind of plaid suit jacket.
For, I think literally, I'd go back and look at the order.
I think the two of them together were like 25 bucks.
And they're both really like, maybe I'm just stupid and not fashionable, but I think they're
awesome piece of clothing.
The sweatpants are just like very standard sweatpants, but they have a cool stripe on the
side, which is a good conversation starter.
And the jacket is totally kick ass.
I know some family and friends are probably going to see it in a week here.
I'm thinking rehearsal dinner.
I'm thinking, you know, reception for dancing, you know, the possibilities are endless.
Before we jump into our show here, but anyways, that's what you're missing on YouTube.
So not much, to be honest.
I wanted to mention what we're drinking on tonight's show.
We've got our Pendleton Whiskey.
I got some new whiskey last week.
So this is Pendleton.
It's pretty smooth.
And then we got the last of our six 2022 peanut butter porters
from Sogutuck brewing.
It's delicious.
You know what I really, what I need to do,
one of these days, I think maybe just like next time
we go to Sogutuck.
So I guess next year,
this time, well, I don't have to go to Sogatox to get the peanut butter portal, but I think I have
to go to Sogatox to get the Cracker Jacks beer from Mitten Brewing Company. It's also it's like the
peanut butter portal, but even stronger peanut kind of effervescence, E-F-F-E-V-E-R.
For... wait. E-F-E-F-F-E-V-E-R.
V-E-S-C-E-N-S-E, I think, effervescence.
Effervescence. It's only...
That seems like a lot of letters for four syllables.
That was pretty tricky.
Oh God.
Popcorn.
Colonel stuck in my teeth, how did that happen?
We're not gonna be able to go on with this show until we fix this.
I had a little bit of like two bites of popcorn last night, but I flossed it through a brushing
all that good stuff twice.
Well, it's really sneaking.
It's really lingering.
Hmm.
We're so close.
It's all the way up there. You know, if this were just a regular old podcast, we weren't doing a live audio stream or
a live visual stream.
Oh, we got it.
We would have just paused right there.
Apologies for that last 30 seconds.
That was crazy.
But for me, and that's one of the reasons I don't eat popcorn often.
When you get a colonel in a bad spot, you gotta, for me, it's just like I gotta do it.
I gotta take care of it.
Because who knows, maybe you forget it tonight.
Next thing you know, it's three years later and there's still, I don't know what, what
do you call that?
A popcorn, everyone's like, oh, it's a popcorn colonel kernel, but a kernel is like the little unpopped thing, right?
This is like the stupidest shell that comes on the outside.
I don't consider that a kernel.
And I'm someone who knows corn and kernels,
I always play as kernel mustard and clue,
and I have corn for seven summers.
So sort of a kernel expert, if you will.
Sort of a kernel expert, if you will.
But I wanted to mention what we were drinking. And I want to do to finish the thought on the beer.
I want to do a like an ultimate peanut taste test
between the Sogtech Brewing Peanut Butter Porter
and the Mitt Brewing Company,
Pena and Cracker Jack, I think that's what it's called.
I think I might honestly, I might be a bigger
Penets and Cracker Jack fan, it's just stronger,
it's a little bit saltier.
The peanut butter, I mean, the peanut butter
porter is vintage, it's classic and it's absolutely delicious.
I love it.
And I fell in love with this first.
And for what it is, it's amazing.
It's, I think the peanut butter,
or the peanuts and cracker jack is a little bit
like fuller body, if you will.
If that makes sense,
the peanuts stronger
and it just has a little bit more backing
to the peanut flavor.
So they're just kind of different,
but I think I like the peanuts and cracker jackalwood.
Better granted, I've only had it twice in my life.
So it's kind of hard to know.
I wanted to, before we get into it,
we're talking Christmas,
Christmas myths today, Christmas myths live on the show.
And we're gonna try to keep this from being crazy long.
I know we were shorter last week, longer the week before.
I want this to be a very standard solid episode.
We don't, spoiler alert, there's Santa Claus
is not coming to town.
We don't have any special guest lined up.
No one's calling in.
This is just me, you and myself today on the show.
Excuse me. But I did want to shout out to our sponsors real quick. This is just me, you and myself today on the show.
Excuse me, but I did want to shout out to our sponsors real quick.
Thank you to our friends at Home Pride, Oregon.
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see if there, you know, you get some sort of rewards points,
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The number is publicly available,
so I don't feel that bad about it.
When I go shopping at the Julesco here in Chicago,
division of Albertsons, I use Betty and Jose's home phone number,
and that gets me all the sale prices. I use Betty and Jose's home phone number
and that gives me all the sale prices.
I don't feel bad about that.
They're the ones getting the points, okay?
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Perfection.
That it's been a frantic start, 15 minutes into the show here and you might think,
go out, Quinn, you're blasted. I'm not. I had two rounds at Begyle Brewing while I was
doing some writing. And it was a holiday flight, which was three, five answers of different
holiday flavors they had. Two of them were very kind of tart and sweet.
I thought they were very similar and unnecessarily similar.
And then I had 16 ounce of an IPA essentially.
So that was my math, 31 ounces, which is basically two pints.
And now I'm drinking my whiskey and my peanut butter powder.
So it's like, yeah, that's a healthy amount for a Tuesday in the late afternoon. But hey, I'm off, man, I'm just I'm living life. This is
my third straight day off Friday, Monday to day. And then technically the university's
closed beginning now, essentially. And I'm still doing some little things here and there for my other two jobs,
but frankly, I kind of set my own hours with that stuff, and I can sort of determine how
much or how little I want to work. So I'm really just leaning into it. I will say I was
going, we've, you know, before I finish our ad reads here, I have to mention that Rachel,
my lovely GF shout out to
Rachel this morning when she asked me what I was going to do today or last night I don't remember
I said well I'm thinking of going to see because we've talked about this many times on the show
in last month Avatar 2 way of wartime way of the wad of
way of the water. And you know, Rachel's been making a lot of fun of it saying I don't like blue people, they're stupid, you you don't know what you're saying like you don't want This to go live on a podcast or something, but I said I think I'm gonna go because Tuesdays apparently at the landmark centuries cinema is at Clark and diversity
Right where I used to live
Apparently they do $7 shows all day. So I was like boom Matt and they I'm down. Let's do it
It's a three hour movie way of Wata here. I. And Rachel said, well, no, I'll go see it with you. I think Rachel's in it for the Diet Coke and the popcorn,
which is fine. But all that is to say is I was going to go see way of water today. And then I
didn't. So we're so yet to see it. So please know spoilers. When if and when you email Bintam
podcasts at Yahoo.com again, let's be in the podcast a yahoo.com.
Please do not spoil Avatar 2 way of Wata.
My prediction is that one of the kids dies at the end of the second act.
Maybe one of those heroic patriotic Marines played by Stephen Lang takes them out and that
sends Sam Worthington who apparently is still an actor, into a fury.
But here is my question.
They're already working in Avatar 4.
Where are they going to go from here?
I've heard that Avatar 2, the visuals are great,
but the story is just kind of like whatever.
My question, that's not a surprise.
That's kind of what we all expected.
So my question is Avatar 3, Avatar 4, and I think
they're going up to 13, I think is the final number.
What are they going to do with these stories that's interesting?
Because Avatar 1 was literally just dances with wolves, and there's like a million other
stories that are that exact same plot.
And Avatar 2, I actually don't know anything about the plot, no one's really spoiled it for
me, which is good.
But I've heard there's not much of a plot, the third act is great, but mostly it's just visually stunning.
My question is, we've had Pandora, which is land, we've had Wata, which is water. Where are they going for episode three? The sky, presumably.
But they already did some flying around in the Avatar 1, so maybe they could go to outer space, blue people in outer space.
That'd be pretty spooky.
I don't know what James Cameron has up his sleeve, but I know he can't do Wata again.
But maybe he will.
Who knows?
Because that first movie made like a billion dollars actually.
So one of these days, hopefully around Christmas time, I know our days are limited, but maybe
we could go on like, I think Rachel still has to work through Friday.
I don't know when we're going to go.
I'm getting stressed out thinking about this because every day that passes by that I haven't
seen way of Wata, I feel just left out from society in a sense, which I'm a societal guy.
I'm social, I'm sociable, and I just want to feel included.
You know, I haven't been able to tweet about way of what, even though it's been out for almost a week here.
And feel kind of like a loser, honestly.
So that's where we're at.
To finish our ads reads here ads reads
Adreads we have our good friends at Samson
We're talking into it right now our good friends the Samson Q2U series
From Genesis to Exodus Leviticus numbers to youronomy and then the actual one where Samson shows up
Which I think is first Kings or second Kings either one doesn't matter. I don't know why we needed two, like we already have some long ass Bible books,
like Psalms, Lamentations, Joe I think has like 40 chapters.
So why did we need a first king and a second king?
So there's no reason for these arbitrary splits.
Let's just throw them all together.
We can have one kings, one Chronicles, one Samuel.
Well, how did, you well, how did you know?
How did these people decide that Samuel was gonna get two books?
Honey really remember who Samuel was obviously not important
Daniel is that a Bible book. I can't remember. I think so I think Daniel is one of those where he goes to the lion's den and
there's You know he's working with
King Darius who is Xerxes dad and Daniel sees a writing in the wall.
I don't really know what the writing said. It was in Hebrew. You know, we never got that translated.
Speaking of writing on the wall, great okay, go song, amazing Music video. It's got one of those rubbed goldberg machines. Don't let me forget
I got to listen to it later and a brief side note to just say and I think about them actually
Frequently
Okay, go
Chicago band who one of my favorites. I've seen them live before actually I think they're at the Vic. I'm not sure
one of my favorites. I've seen them live before actually. I think they're at the Vic, I'm not sure. But the thing with okay go is like what like what happened to
them? They're still semi active and stuff. And they made that one song, excuse me,
they made that one song during the pandemic all together now.
But they just like haven't done anything.
Not to disparage them. I think, you know, multiple of them have young kids.
But I just, yeah, and this has meant to be,
sorry, I got sidetracked for a second.
This has meant to be disparaging at all.
It's literally just curiosity.
Like you're a musician is your thing.
And I know they've done some creative stuff
that's not just music.
They've done some art stuff.
But I just wonder from like a financial perspective,
obviously they're making it.
But if you're like the drummer Dan Kepp go whatever his name is in okay go
and you like they haven't put out a record in
five years, I think
It's been more even more than that eight years. I'm not sure
They're not playing shows. They did one really random ass show at Niagara Falls, like six months ago or something like that,
but just one show, it's not like,
oh, okay, it goes on tour.
And they put out one single in early 2020,
mid-2020, whatever that was,
not part of a larger project.
It's like, what did these guys do to survive?
Do they make enough when they were a hot band
that they're just like not really working.
They got to be doing some things music related or otherwise to like keep their lives afloat,
right?
I don't know.
I would love to have, you know, Damian Koolash or DePaul Alomteon Nordwind on the show
or Dan Kepka or whatever the guitarist name is.
The second one, they had two guitarists.
The original one and the new one, Andy Buckley was the old one and the new one is Andy
something else. Two Andes.
That's what they put on their cricks of sad.
We're looking for a kickass guitar player. It must be named Andy.
So it's not to confuse our fans too much. All this is to say when God speaks, he uses the Samsung.
We got to hurry up here because we haven't even gotten to what we want to talk about. We're
26 minutes in. This is ridiculous. Finally, our good friends, the Cuts by Q just did a
little fresh Cuts by Q today. I might need a slight touch up. I caught it. So I just did
the back because the back was kind of all over the place. It was a jungle out there
like Randy Newman says and
I kind of got unintentionally like the crisp Bryant like point going on in the back
So I suppose if I want to be like a kick-ass third baseman for the Rockies who's off injured. I love the word off to OFT
You usually have to use it with a hyphen.
Then I think I look good, but I don't know. You know, I was gonna say we need a second opinion.
Well, I know exactly what it looks like, because I did some funky shifting around with the mirror.
So I just have to decide if I'm satisfied with it. Do I want the point? Do I want it straight?
I think the point is kind of new.
It's kind of modern.
It's kind of trendy.
It's kind of edgy.
And those are all words that most people used to describe me.
But I don't know.
We're going to have to decide.
Straight is just so boring.
But I kind of, you know, if I didn't have a brother of the podcast wedding coming up
in 10 days a year, then I wouldn't have thought twice about it.
But I just, not that anyone's taking pictures of me from the back, hopefully.
But, you know, there's probably gonna be
a lot of famous people there,
esteemed dignitaries.
What do you think you gotta do just in life in general,
they become an esteemed dignitary? I don't know. When you need to fresh do some of the snappier news
called the experts that cuts by Q. Alright welcome to part two of the bean
town podcast. We haven't stopped once because we've been livestreaming on
YouTube and there's not really a good way to like pause that and resume. So we've been live streaming on YouTube and there's not really good way to like pause
that and resume.
So we've just been firing it up.
And garage band seems to be working great.
The Mac has been very responsive today, about to finish out 258 episodes here, knock on
wood.
Oh, last thing I want to mention before we get into exposing Christmas myths and I know
we, it's just the time of year when like football is on my mind a lot, if I mean completely
honest with you.
And I try not to make this a football podcast.
I know we talked, but because it's just not that interesting.
I talked about it for a hot second because that Colts Vikings game last week was crazy.
And then we did a whole episode dedicated to the Colts or the Vikings bills game because that was just ridiculous. But I did just want to very briefly shout out
the entire furnace family this past weekend. As of, you know, the end of the Packers Rams
Monday night football game last night, five for five in fantasy football wins this past
weekend, sister of the podcast Abby Fernis was in the toilet bowl
against cousin of the podcast Hunter Denison
who won our league last year.
He got married in the labor day this year.
He represented our division and Abby kicked his ass
in the toilet bowl.
She had her highest scoring game of the year.
And then the four Furnaiai yours truly in Walt, brother,
oldest brother podcast. We play in the same division. And then Jack and Steve, brother
and father of the podcast also play in the same division as each other, not as us.
Excuse me along with Abby. So Jack, Steve, Walt and I all had our individual games.
with Abby. So Jack, Steve, Walt and I all had our individual games. I played Steve Johnson, Walt played Cousin of the podcast Jake, Jack played first Cousin once removed of the podcast,
Kyle and my dad played our commissioner, Uncle Andy, who's been on the show before you
all know. I'm Jack Links. Anyways, we crushed them.
It was ups and downs roller coasters, things that take way too long to explain, but all you
need to know is we have four teams remaining in the Great White North's historic and storied
17th season.
This weekend, beginning Thursday night already, it will be Jack versus Steve and Quinn versus Walt. Winners will square
off in a championship game. If I win then my, which I really don't think is going to
happen. If I win then I will be playing against either Jack or Steve and both of those teams
are the two teams I've played in the championship game in my two wins.
So it won't be anything too new.
And all four of us have won before multiple times, I believe.
None of us, we all have at least two championships.
I think Jack has two championships.
I know my dad and my brother Walt have three, I think.
So it's the rich getting richer here in the great white
north and no complaints here
Because I worked my ass off for it
I don't think I get a lot of
Credit because it's just like a small family. No money on the line. Just breaking rights and
You know, there's really only like two or three of us who are really just like
Super invested and trying to do well weekend week out
And this isn't like a hyper self-up podcast, but I work my ass off at this stuff put a lot of time into it
Very proud of the results. It has been a just the rockiest of rocky rows of a season
Literally lost my number one draft pick this last week
after one touch, Jonathan Taylor Thomas,
Lion King, and home improvement fans will know
and Wild America, Oscar winner.
Lost my after one touch, lost my second running back
in the third quarter and was still one
and what that means for this week is I have no clue what we're going to do.
We could realistically lose to Walt by about 75 points that wouldn't surprise me. feel like the Black Knight and Monty Python and the Holy Grail where he gets one arm chopped
off, second arm chopped off, both legs chopped off, he's still ready to go.
That's honestly how I feel about my fantasy team.
My wide receivers have been pretty stacked all year and to be perfectly honest like Joe
Burrow is consistently awesome even with the sliced pinky this last week in the Bucks game I'm not sure if you're going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be
going to be going to be going to be going to
be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going looked good on paper. So it's just like, I really thrown the kitchen sink at the
great way north is this year and it's got me this far. So we just keep keep doing
crazy shit essentially. And I don't know, we got lucky this last equals. It happens
this week. I wanted to get to our, the meat and potatoes,
the actual topic of today's show, 33 minutes in,
which isn't so bad.
And this is the last thing we're gonna talk about,
and then we're gonna finish up, I promise.
Mostly because I wanna eat supper.
I didn't eat, let's see, I had coffee for breakfast
and I ended up having two slices of bread from our
soup on Sunday for lunch.
And so I just like kind of went through today without eating accidentally.
So I'm excited for supper.
Let's put it that way.
But I wanted to expose some Christmas myths and I wrote Christmas myth and I wrote enough down here to
Go an entire hour with just this stuff, but I'm not going to and the Christians in the room the
right wing nationalists are really going to want to turn it off here
But I wanted to mention and some of these are probably things I've said in the past, some of these things might be brand new,
but these are really in no particular order.
I was just doing some brainstorming earlier today.
I was mentioning I was doing some writing at the brewery.
And these are not really like, I literally just wrote down random things in my phone's
notes app as I thought of them.
Number one, Mary being a virgin.
Okay, you are not convincing me. It's never happened before. It's never happened since where someone
asexually a human asexually produces. Dude, Mary and I'm just okay, a quick time out for like
the prudes listening right now. No offense to you. I'm just gonna let you know that I'm from here
until the end of the show.
I am just going to like use whatever language
I am feeling in the moment
and I don't apologize for it
because it's just how I feel
and that's how my internal monologue runs.
And this is not a show that is trying
to protect people's feelings.
This is Quinn David Fernsby,
that's the Bean-Town podcast. Okay is Quinn David Fernsbyth and it's the Bean Tum podcast.
Okay, on pause.
Mary Joseph, we're totally fucking like not a question.
They weren't careful.
They ran on a condom.
She wasn't on the today's sponge.
He didn't pull out in time.
Look, I'm not here to judge.
I'm just saying They were totally banging and instead of
Welcoming the ridicule that they were responsible for you know bastard child hookin up before marriage whatever yada yada
Yeah, I I don't cast judgment
If you want to get you know, you want to bang before marriage, like, who cares?
I don't care.
I think you should.
Imagine getting married to someone you never had sex with and then finding out you're
not sexually compatible.
It'll be like that, that Sersher Ronin film on Chessel Beach, which is just a nightmare,
and that was one night, right?
You can't have that.
So Mary and Joseph, I'm not calling you out
because you wanted to, you know, your horny.
I'm saying like don't create an entire religion,
you know, based on it and be like,
oh Jesus is this miracle child.
He has this magical father who no one can see,
named God, all because you were like afraid
of being chastised by whomever the
Bethlehem star or something which is the newspaper back in those days. On parchment, Mary was not a virgin, okay?
Like the Catholic church is gonna blacklist me for this, but I've said what I want to say. Okay, remember that Randy Moss press conference
when he decided I decided he was or not decided he was, dude, Mary Christmas to you, Kyle
Lingen. Thanks for tuning in my old basketball coach, believe it or not. You're coming in at
a great time because we are just railing on the Christmas search. Much like Joseph was railing Mary behind that shepherds in.
But what I wanted to say was,
oh shoot, I lost my train of thought here.
I don't even know.
Oh, when Randy Moskot traded back to the Vikings in 2010,
in 2009, whatever the second-farve season one,
which was an absolute disaster here,
that press conference on,
and press conference seems like,
pull your 84 jerseys out I'm coming home and then they made a
like remix song out of it it's pretty good it's it'll take you back you know
15 years 13 15 years to better times Brett Farmer rest in peace is I don't
think he's actually like going to prison is he obviously he like nothing's been charged yet
He's just in like shit-crick without paddle, I think with all this stupid welfare stuff. How can you be?
Well, I'm not gonna say like how can you be the stupid like you're that rich. I understand it because
There's always more money to get like I totally understand that it's a human thing
But just how can you be that
rich and be like, you know what? Let's scam some elderly people so we can have more money.
Like, what do you, what is there left to do if you're Brett Farb where you're like, you know what, these old people, fuck them, let's like,
swindle them out of money, swindle SWI N-D-L-E,
so we can say like, what do you need at that point?
I don't know how much money Brett Farve made in his career.
You know, it's not as much as, you know, like,
Brady, obviously, and then my homes
and these younger guys are getting crazy contracts,
but let's just figure it out right here.
Brett, and he loves and misses Sippy.
So my rent up here is 2,300.
Brett Farve's rent is probably like 700 a month.
Brett Farve, how much money, this is hard to do with one hand.
How much money did Brett Farve make?
Well, we'll just find his net worth.
According to sports key to whatever that is,
net worth 100 million.
This other one says 110 million.
He earned apparently about 140 million in contracts
as an NFL quarterback.
For context, base salary, all three my jobs
from the time I started working full time when I was 22,
that's been almost seven full years now.
Best guess, Quinn has made around, I don't know, conservatively
300 to 400 thousand dollars and Brett Fard made 140 million dollars. What do you need
to scam elderly people for? I don't remember how that relates to Mary not being a burden,
but that's the point I wanted to make. We're exposing Christmas
Miss we're exposing Brett Farve here on the show. It's a whole separate episode moving on here
Okay, Mary Joseph, they're right donkeys into town apparently. I don't know why they were living in the sticks
Anyways like you should be in the center of town close access to buses, subways, trains, light rail, whatever
There was no room at the end, okay?
This we mentioned the mythical being that is God, G-O-D, five minutes ago. So you're telling me that
Mary Joseph get to the end, you have Jesus who's inside of Mary, who is also God, which is weird. Try him for it. God had three
and one, three some, four some really three and one, three and Mary, woof. But God is omnipotent.
He's omniscient. He's omnipresent, which I always felt was weird to say omnipresent,
like it's just a weird word. There was always a, there was like a Bible verse and second Timothy or something.
We had to, you had to memorize it at wins and eight, a one as class.
And that whole, that old premise was flawed.
It's like you memorize, you have to memorize that whole thing.
Okay, time out.
You go to class, you go to have fun on wins and eight.
There's three parts. There's games led by Tom Perkins or Commander Bob.
There's the message, if you will, which was like a guest speaker every week. You know, John Sprecker, son-in-law, Brad Wetz's name, the guy who got arrested for, you know,
lusting an underage girl or whatever it was. Good stuff, you know, love the church.
But the third part is where you like go into your group like so it's like all the third grade boys together, all the fourth grade
boys together, you know, there's five, six, seven kids in there, whatever. The whole thing is you have these books
there's five, six, seven kids in there, whatever. The whole thing is you have these books
that are like adventure books,
but they are interspersed with Bible verses.
And the way you like level up, the way you progress,
is to memorize a Bible verse.
This is, you know, a lot of times when we talk about
like the church and Christian things,
it's like, oh man, that's fucked up.
This isn't fucked up.
This is just like very unproductive.
The whole thing you were supposed to do
during that half hour or whatever is like read your book
that has the Bible versus in it, read it to yourself.
And then I'm not kidding you.
I don't know how common or popular this is,
still among church groups, like kids groups,
youth groups, I would estimate that it's still a thing.
It just feels really weird.
You are just supposed to memorize it,
like you would memorize a piece of music,
memorize a poem, like memorize a Bible verse.
Hand your book back to your group leader or whatever,
recite that verse to them.
And if you get all the words correct in the right order, then you get to
progress to the next verse. But you never go back. It's not like, oh, you have a
test at the end of the semester. Here's like, what did you remember from the
verses you memorized? Quote, because you would just memorize it in that 30 seconds,
say it, and then you get to move on. You don't retain that.
They just feels like a really, I know you're young kids, you know, you're like sixth grade and under,
but that just doesn't feel like if I was, if I had like created my own religion and I wanted to like
spew my beliefs upon kids, that's not how I would approach it.
Maybe that's just the masters of science and education policy in me.
I took teaching and learning class, but I don't know.
It doesn't feel right.
Basically what I was trying to say is there's no room in the end.
God is omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient. He couldn't afford 40 shuckles a night for, you know,
the radicine, the four seasons, the holiday in Bethlehem.
They could have definitely afforded
the America's best value in that Rachel and Amanda,
Rachel's sister and I stayed in.
The three of us at, in champagne, when we went for dad's day,
we came back in November because that place was a just,
excuse me, a dump.
Shower didn't work.
It was spooky, but we made it.
We survived.
I think I would be less critical of it
if it was more affordable, because it was like, I don't know,
like 230 to 50, 300 a night, something like that,
something absurd.
Moving on here with furthering, exposing Christmas myths,
every time I say it is not purposeful. It is an accident. And I end up
listing it. The shepherds here from an angel of the Lord in all
caps, L-O-R-D, in a field, you know, when the angels like do not
be afraid, yada, yada, yada. Okay, those shepherds were
definitely hallucinating.
There's no magical angels in the sky.
I'm thinking like they were smoking some dubies,
maybe some grass, maybe some fermented hay.
Like, Colin Hay.
I can't get too sleep.
I think about the implications of diving in to deep.
For any people out there who are not fans or unaware of men at work, the famous band of
Colin Haye, go check it out.
I mean, overcoals a great song.
You all know land down under from this radio play
There's a couple other songs that are pretty well known by those guys, but I think overkill is great
You played it on an episode of scrubs basically those shepherds were totally high and
Absolutely, there were not just these magical angels just roaming throughout the sky being like,
hey, go to Bethlehem, like, dude, no,
those guys were smoking some serious joints.
Okay, the wise men, that's gotta be like,
that's, you know, that's like a stripper, like,
group name, like, welcome to Chippendales or something.
Okay, the wise men were definitely gay, right?
I think wise, they're, you know, how do you even know?
Like what are you doing in BC times to be characterized as a wise man?
Like you could call me a wise man.
I got multiple degrees.
I know a lot about fantasy football.
Am I a wise neuroscientist?
No.
Although I know that you got your DNA, your RNA,
there's like four things in DNA.
There's like a T, a U, some other ones.
Then you got your cell wall, your mitochondria,
your Golgi bodies. So I'm a wise man. ones, then you got your cell wall, your mitochondria, your
Golgi bodies. So I'm a wise man, I guess in neuroscience too, but not, you know,
probably not other things like Russian. I don't know much about Russian, so I'm
not a wise Russian, but I'm wise in other areas. So what are these guys do to
become wise? I think it's a mis-translation. I think they're gay. And once, you know,
the translators, whoever it was, Peter Paul or Mary, figured it out, it was like, well, we can't,
you know, because we're apparently, even though Jesus didn't say anything about this, apparently,
we're doing like an anti-gay agenda, which, uh, dude, at the church way back in the day had been pro gay they would be so powerful
now can you imagine ruPaul
and hosting the seven hundred club
i don't even really know anything about ruPaul i know that there's ruPaul's
drag race i think ruPaul is a person
i think ruPaul is gay but i really have no idea i've never seen the show i
don't know anything about RuPaul.
I don't even know what RuPaul's real name is.
The church would be unstoppable.
So the three wise men were definitely gay. And then also you're doing like flame boy and guests like, okay,
most of you go to a baby shower and you give them a bib.
You give them a cute onesie.
You give them a fun winters hat.
You know what the three wise men were doing?
Gold frankincense and murder.
You, I mean, you might as well do just like,
gonna pause myself there
because I can't think of anything good.
Also don't wanna like anger the gaze.
Seems like a bad career move for the bean ton podcast.
But I just want to say like,
gold-fanging sense and mer what do you,
like what is a three-year-old kid supposed to do with that?
It just seems very flashy, a little flamboyant,
nothing wrong with it,
but what is a three-year-old kid supposed to do with,
like, mer?
I don't, I'm 20 20 about to be 28 years old. I don't know what to do with Merr. I can barely spell it. Merr. M.Y.R.R.H. It's one of those words with no vowels.
Speaking of which, I've been played into my word games today. I have a three for one, I go world, I go world, I go world, I quote,
Quarital, and I haven't done it yet.
I thought about doing it live on air, but then I realized I have to pee.
And I don't really want to extend the show longer than I have to.
Oh, and also it took apparently according to historical records.
For my research, I didn't my head.
It took the three wise men like three years to get to Jesus.
What were they doing?
Babylon or wherever Jesus was born, Israel,
Israel didn't exist until the 1940s.
We can't call it that.
Judah, Judea, Philistine land. I don't really care. Then the
Middle East, I guess, it doesn't take, it's not that big. You
look, pull it up on a map. It's like, Oh, yeah, you can go
you're boom, boom, boom, three days, you're done. Donkey, foot,
that cool speeder bike that Anakin Skywalker, race on on
Tatooine to go to see the Tuscan Raiders
when his mom, me, my Skywalker was captured
by Tuscan Raiders and he went into the camp
and he killed them all, not just the madam
but the women and the children too, like animals.
Whatever you're riding, it doesn't take you three years
to get to Bethlehem, okay? So they were lolly
gagging. I don't really know what they were doing all that time. It seems like they hesitated
a little bit. Maybe they said, no, we don't want anything to do with this random ass brown
kid. And then the spirit of the Lord all all caps LORD, maybe blackmailed
them. He said, if you don't come out to see my son, then I'm going to expose your coming
out party again, because they were gay apparently, which doesn't really tie in with the rest
of the conspiracy that I'm exposing, but it just seemed like a good thing to throw in there.
Last two things here, we're moving away from the Christian tradition.
Where is Hanukkah in the Old Testament? We got a whole bunch of Christmas, we got the
four Gospels, which three of them tell the Christmas story, I think, all but Mark maybe, I don't know, Luke definitely does. Matthew does, I think.
It's either John or Mark, I can't remember. But Hanukkah, you know, you got your eight candles,
you got your menorah, your Bar Mitzvah. Did, here's a question, did Jesus have a Bar Mitzvah?
Obviously, if yes, it's something the Christians
don't want you to know about, but if no,
where is this kind of Jewish agenda
pushing the Jesus Bar Mitzvah?
That's absolutely something we need to know more about.
And it's Hanukah's felt with an A-Juris C, okay?
Let's get to the bottom of
that maybe next year's show. Finally, I am
convinced that there is a new Rudolph, the
Red Nose reindeer every year, much like
Punxitani Phil. Look, reindeer are real,
they are not magical mythical creatures who live on year after year without
aging like Benjamin Button. They, you know, every, I don't know what I, let's. I love Google, man. The average longevity of reindeer is about 15 years in
the wild to 20 years in captivity. Every 15 to 20 years, Santa Claus says, goodbye, takes them out
behind the wood shed, all the elves sleep in their slave bunks. He shoots root off in the head
and they breed a new one.
They bring in the new Rudolph and no one bats an eye
because Santa's a fucking white dictator, like EDM mean.
Go check that out.
And boom, you got a new reindeer every year.
There are new Rudolph every year.
So those were some Christmas myths. Finally said a right that I wanted
to expose live on the bean-tongued podcast. I said we were going to keep it shorter, but
then the whiskey kicked in and I got into the exposés and just I think it was a good
episode though. So, Mary Christmas, happy holidays to everyone, whatever you celebrate. Christmas, Hanukkah.
I really don't mean to offend any religious groups or people who identify in certain religious ways.
I just think that organized religion is bullshit. I think community is amazing. I think
I think community is amazing. I think believing in some sort of unseen mystical power
is just stupid as hell, frankly.
Again, not attempting to criticize or offend any individual person.
I just think certain beliefs are shortsighted
and can lead
to negative real-world impactful consequences. That's how I feel about
organized religion in case you were curious. Merry Christmas to all. Good luck to
the four Ferni left standing this week in the Great White North semi-finals
as we look to crown our 17th champion
or year 17 champion if you will,
because it's not gonna be a new champion.
And that's more or less what I got for you.
I got some chili Mac in the fridge that is calling my name.
I got a P like a race horse like a reindeer and
Thank you to our Mac for just being a total
Trap professional
Throughout this entire podcast no no bumps no freezes. No nothing sounds great and
Finally and most importantly, thank you to the listeners are beanheads
And finally and most importantly thank you to the listeners are beanheads. Amanda you can always check out new episodes of the show at soundcloud.com slash
beantonepodcasts or beantonepodcast.com slash podcasts.
You can also email us beantonepodcasts at yahoo.com, that's bean town, be and you don't podcast at Yahoo.com.
Thank you to our sponsors, Home Pride organ,
Cuts by Q and the Samson Q2U series,
we really appreciate you around this time of year.
I do not know exactly when we are coming out
with our new years, Eve New Year's Day special.
That is TBD, but I hope you get some time to spend with your family,
with your friends, and certainly most importantly,
I hope you get some time to spend with the Bean Town podcast.
So I hope that everyone has a great day.
I hope that you have a great holiday. My name is Quinnade Fernos. I
want you to stay safe. I want you to stay sane and I will check in on you
next time. I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to, I'm just going to, I'm just going to, I'm just going to, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to, I'm just going to, I'm just M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M- nd
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