Beantown Podcast - Groundhog Day Alabama Rant (02022020 Beantown)

Episode Date: February 2, 2020

Quinn comes to you live hot on the heels of trips to Alabama and Texas to rant about why Alabama is proof there is no God. I officially pulled no punches--Enjoy. #Beantown

Okay, campers rise and shine and don't forget your booties because it's cold out there today. It's cold out there every day. What is this? Miami Beach? Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that blizzard thing, that blizzard thing, that blizzard thing. Oh, well, here's the report.

The National Weather Service is calling for a big blizzard thing. Yes, they are, but you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting, especially cold, especially cold. Okay, but the big question on everybody's lips on their chat blips on their chat blips, right? Do you think Phil is going to come out and see his shadow? Punctitani Phil, that's right, wood chuckers. It's Groundhog Day. And so it is, rise in shine campers.

Indeed, happy Groundhog Day 2020. Punctitani Phil has seen his shadow or whatever the one is where we get an early spring. I think I think that means he didn't see a shadow. I don't know. I don't really know what cloud cover on February 2nd has to do with how warm it's going to be in six weeks. But Punx and Tony Phil is wise. I think I read this as the 21st time in the last 100 years that he's

pretty predicted in early spring so that's that's very exciting. It's been a whale of a day already. Recording this is about 1 p.m. Central time from my apartment up in Rouders Park. And I woke up at about 4 a.m. today in Austin, Texas, or San Marcos, Texas, to be more specific. Woke up, gathered my things, took off for the airport, shot out to Walt and Cal for the ride, and took a flight to Chicago, took a couple buses, got some groceries groceries and came home

cooked, meal prepped and done that all that. I'm on a full stomach and it's it's only 1 pm so it's been a been a very efficient start to the day. If you're wondering, hey Quinn, what were you doing in Texas? I went there for a relevant to Groundhog Day. For the second annual Bill Murray slash Groundhog Day party, that my brother Walt and his girlfriend Kelly throw every year for two years now, down in Austin area. And went down there on Friday night after work and came back this morning. I was there for about oh I don't know 30 hours whatever that

math comes out to 32 hours something like that and it was fun yeah had a good time did some hiking and even got to record a little promo for our pledge drive fundraiser so if you're curious because a couple of you listening even got to record a little promo for our Pledge Dry Fundraiser. So if you're curious because a couple of you listening are probably aware that February is our Pledge Dry Fundraiser month. And you might be thinking, hey, we haven't heard anything. We haven't seen anything. It's February 2nd already.

February 3rd, if you're checking this out in the office on Monday morning. And nothing about the Pledge Dry Fundraiser yet. Well, I'll tell you what, I was going to get it set up this past week and I got kind of called all of a sudden down to Alabama on sort of very last minute emergency assignment for work. And that's what we're talking about today. So a couple of things going on here.

I'm going to finish this thought and then we'll talk about what we're going to be talking about today. So a couple of things going on here. Let me finish this thought and then we'll talk about what we're going to be talking about today. But next week, we're going to be joined by a dear friend of the podcast. We'll have him on anytime he wants to come on. Ryan Austin English is coming on the podcast to do our Oscars special. The Oscars are next week. It's super early this year. It's kind of throwing off our schedule, but you know, you just got to improvise and adapt. Then the Saturday after that, which is Saturday, February 15th, one day after Valentine's day, will be our official third annual Bloodstrived Telephone Fundaries or for the podcast. We're excited this year, we're going to have a live stream. We did that year one.

We're going to bring it back for year three. This time is also exciting because we have a real rotary telephone that we're going to be using to take calls from you, all the supporters. So beyond the lookout, this next week and the week after for an announcement, we filmed a video, plugging or promoting the Pledge Dry Fundraiser, which is really exciting. We got some donor tears that we're going to be introducing to you all the fans. And then the actual Pledge Dry Fundraiser itself will be, will be happening. So lots to come here in February, very busy month. But what's happening today you might ask, well this is going to be a crowd pleaser I think because from my perspective one of the bean heads favorite things for

me to do is just rant. And I, you know, every week's kind of different there's usually a rant of some kind, whether major or minor, talking about something, but most of my episodes these days are not rant centric. They tend to be about one thing or another, and if I get complaining here and there, then you might get it. But today is purely about ranting, and it was all kicked off by the fact that I had to spend two to three days in Alabama this past week and Boy, I got a lot of thoughts and you're gonna be hearing about them. I also Took it upon myself to just add some Notes things that were bugging me concerning

to just add some notes, things that were bugging me, concerning just other things, and it's all written down in my phone. So, we're gonna jump right into it, to give you the scene here, sort of what I was doing. I flew down to Alabama Monday night after work, I actually flew into Atlanta, I stayed in Atlanta, or just outside of it, I'm Monday night.

I woke up on Tuesday morning, drove to Tuskegee about two hours away, did some hike in around the National Forest, saw some interesting stuff on my hike, and then worked at Tuskegee on Tuesday night, then after work on Tuesday night, drove to Tuscaloosa, which is about another two to two and a half hours, sort of the the University of Alabama is worked there on Wednesday. And then after that, drove to Talladega to see the race tracks I've never seen before. And saw it, took a picture, couldn't get very close. We'll talk about that in a little bit here.

Jorback to Tuscaloosa and then Thursday morning woke up pretty early, drive with Lanna, and fly home. That's what I did in Alabama. That's the time I spent there. And no lie, I would wake up on Tuesday and Wednesday nights while I was sleeping in Alabama with like very clear thoughts, rant material in my head. So thankfully, my phone's next to me on the nightstand,

so I pulled open my notes app, wrote some stuff down. I haven't looked at the full note that I've written since it typed a lot of it out in the middle of the night, but we're just going to go with it. And I got a lot of thoughts, and I hope you're ready to hear about them. So here we go. Okay, so Alabama sucks. And I think we all sort of know that just kind of inherently, but let me tell you some reasons why. Okay, so I'm single, I'm ready to mingle. I haven't really talked about my dating life much lately. We'll see in someone for a couple months,

got ghosted, the whole thing, just a fun, a fun activity, very family friendly. So you know, you go down there, you're hot on the, the bumble, the hinge, and you get an abandoned tinder, I think I've told that story, but maybe we'll retell it again some other time. So, I'm killing in on those two apps traditionally. You go down to Alabama and you think, okay, when you're going to the right spots, right?

Because not that Alabama really has good spots for meeting ladies, but if you're gonna go somewhere, go to a college town or the big towns. And I was close-ish to Birmingham and Montgomery as well, and drove through each one of those cities. But man, and I'm going to be doing a lot of over generalization in these rants and that's okay for the sake of argument. The ladies in Alabama were just, I swear to God, 75% of the ones that come across just

overweight and I'm not saying you're worthless because you're overweight. I'm just saying like, it's one thing to be like a little overweight, but it works well. It's another thing if you're like rocking the mom from Gilbert Grepe look or like the Jesus warrior from that wife swap knockoff trading places, I think it was called, just really people who don't look like they're that interested in fitness and look like they're a little bit more invested in chicken wings and mountain dew. Everyone is like Christian down there in like hardcore Christian. They're putting it in their, you know, profiles.

They got Bible verses. You got your John 3, 16s, your Philippians 4, 13s, your Exodus 2, 9s. I think that's something about circumcision. I don't know. I haven't read it in a while, but are Joshua 2, 9 maybe? If you're going to put in fun Bible verses, I say go to Revelation, get some fire in Brimstone, and it called action for the fans. What is Brimstone? Because I have an idea. I'm thinking of stone that's kind of ashy and flaky. You don't really hear about Brim. I don't think you can go to the grocery store and just

get brimstone. I think you got a special order of that. But pick a Bible verse from Revelation or there's some good stuff in Exodus where, and we talk about this on the podcast here and there where the Pharaoh's magicians, Pharaoh's got like these magician dudes who just perform casual magic, when they're like trying to one up Aaron and Moses and stuff and their staff's turning to snakes. Like, no one talks about that.

You never hear sermons about that, but it's always first Timothy 7-1 or whatever or Colossians this and this or Y yada, yada, yada. And I'm not opposed to dating a Christian, but it's just like, you know, it's not a one-to-one thing, it's one-to-two because it's you and her and Jesus, and it's just, you know,

I don't know if there is that much room in my relationship. The profiles themselves are bad too. It's like girls are really taking it upon themselves across the border dating apps, but it seemed even worse in Alabama to just put like zero effort into the dating profiles. And then they wonder why they never meet anybody cool. Well, the cool people, unlike myself, are more selective with their swiping. You know, but the amount of profiles that I saw down there,

and you see this, you know, occasionally here and there, but just like, seemed like a third of the profiles, where it's just every girl is just rockin' the selfie game. And that's it. And it's like, what are you hiding? You know, what? Or you get the, especially you go to college times, you get the girls who are just like, every photo is a group photo.

And I feel like I'm playing Clue just to figure out who it was. You know, it's Bleach Blonde in the Roll Tide tank top in the Bryant-Danny stadium, right? It's got to be it because that's that's literally every picture of everyone's dating profile down there. We're gonna be talking about females and pictures in a little bit here though I got something else for you there. Oh I saw this a couple times with big on like conspiracy theories. I'm trying to remember some of the big ones like moon landing was fake. I saw that a couple of times, big on conspiracy theories. I'm trying to remember some of the big ones.

Like moon landing was fake. I saw that a couple times, 9-11 was fake. I don't even really understand the association because it seems like a somewhat of a right-wing, conservative Christian thing, not across the board, but just more than anything else. I see that kind of group prolificating

prolificate PR O L I F I G A T E that sort of message and I'll take a brief pause here to mention today is the first Paladromic date in 909 years today is 02 02 2 0 2 0 February 2nd, 2020. Same forwards as it is backwards.

Now that is pretty damn cool. We're back to the rant here. What's the game there? What's the angle? Is it just like trying to so distrust and what we're told, but like why I don't get it. If we could get a conservative Christian, right, talk show radio host on here

to answer some of those questions, that would be much appreciated. And they're God-fearing, you know? Which I don't even, why would you, like, what's the appeal of a God where you want to be God-fearing? Right? Who wants to live in fear? And there seems to be, like, God can just go for any emotion that he wants, because you're

supposed to be God-fearing, but he's also a loving God. There's a whole Bible verse that just says, God is love. It's three words, like someone is feeling lazy that day, not as bad as Jesus wept, but still. This balance between loving fear, those are not, I've thought about this every which way in the last five seconds. And to me, those just seem to not be compatible.

So why are you talking about your Tinder profile? You know? All what I'm getting at here is I feel like anytime you hear Alabama or you see Alabama and TV show or movie, you're getting like the bleach blonde swimsuit models, cheer leaders, OMG Southern Charm Southern Bell, Reese Witherspoon, Josh Lucas, Sweet Home Alabama, and frankly that was not my experience. It was just man. So I ran the numbers. I actually found a list of US states by percentage obesity.

And Alabama is in the bottom five. So these things I found to be true. The other thing about this is I'm not immediately turned off by overweight women, myself being an overweight man. I feel like I've got to kind of keep all my options open here. But there's a difference between being overweight but knowing your good angles and how to work it and wearing a great outfit and you can still look super cute and all that stuff.

And just like being overweight to the point where you're just, man. Not trying to do any sort of fat shaming here, you don't think overweight people are worth less than thin people or athletic people is just you got to get you know you got to know and I take the pictures right right that's all I'm saying. These college kids man they'll learn. Hey when I was 18, 19, I didn't even have a tinder and I wasn't banned from tinder yet. did have, this is still a somewhat ongoing conversation, which is silly, because I'm in Chicago now. But I was on Bumble and Bama, and speaking of overweight, ladies, I matched with this one lady who was overweight,

but I found to be very cute. And she was basically the amalgamation of all the things they just talked about. Had something on her profile about conspiracy theories, but then everything else is like Christian, Christian, Christian, boom, boom, boom. And the picture is actually nice, she's very cute.

But I decided because I didn't really get going with a conversation with her until after I'd already left Alabama and Alabama's one of those states where I just see you know you don't really want to go back anytime soon if ever. I think I've been there two or three times in my life and that just it feels like two or three times too many. I'm gonna leave it at that but I was talking to this one one girl and I figure you know if I'm not serious about meeting with any of these girls I'm going to this one, one girl, and I figure, you know, if I'm not serious about meeting with any of these girls, I'm talking to you down in BAM but because I'm not there anymore. You might as well have some fun with it, right?

So I started, I remember how we got on the topic, but she said something about public school and I mentioned, and this is true, oh, the only public school I've ever gone to is a community college, well, I was in high school for a couple. And I was like, oh, it was awful. They taught evolution in biology class. And she was into it. She was like, oh my God, that's awful. I'm a big, you know, clearance Darrow fan, or William Jennings Bryan, whichever one is which.

And we really hit it off. I think really turned her on, frankly. Turn me on. All that evolution talk and dinosaurs and humans roaming the earth at the same time. That's good stuff, man. But that's Alabama. And that's how easy it was to just really get the conversation going.

So I don't know if there's something like that in Chicago, you'd be like free book Goivitz or something to really get the ladies going. That hasn't traditionally worked for me in the past, but I'll keep trying. The towns themselves in Alabama are just men, like total, just garbage, like. And I have friends who have somewhat positive opinions

of Birmingham, and to be honest, I didn't spend more than just a couple minutes in it. So this is, we'll exclude Birmingham from this, from the rest of this rant here. But driving on to Skigee and a little bit of Tuscaloosa, it's like the rust belt, but way worse. I mean, just so rundown. Just like the streets are dead.

Like, tumbleweeds rolling in the street, no people. I mean, Alabama might be the least redeemal state in the union. You think about like, what has it got? Leonard Skinner wrote a song about it. And Reese Witherspoon made that movie with the same title, Sweet Home Alabama. And Scott Joplin has a rag called a breeze from Alabama, which is pretty neat. Otherwise, it's like, what, I mean, this is just like, what is good about Alabama?

There's just nothing, man. In fact, when I was talking about it to people this week after I got back, I was like, oh, yeah, it's got some national forests, I had to round one, you know, they're kind of neat. But it's just like, there wasn't anything actually great about the national forest. It was just like any other forest. But when you're in Alabama, that's like the highlight. That should be a, that should tell you a little something about how I felt. I mean, I drew on Tuskegee for like half an hour before I got there and I was kind of,

I was intrigued. I had never been to Tuskegee before but you know, it's a very historic name in place. And, I mean, I'm not even joking. Tuskegee literally looks like Sherman's march to the sea just went right through yesterday. Because it's just, everything's run down. Every shop looks like it's been closed since 1957. And I mean, that type of like town to me is really interesting. And you can see that in Chicago for sure, and way more in Baltimore. But you have these storefronts and you know many malls and stuff where you know the places inside look so beat up and run down. And you

can't tell if they're open or closed, but the bigger thing is you're like, how do these businesses afford rent or just pay their bills? How do you have someone who works in there and makes a living by working there. Granted, you need like seven grand a year to live in Alabama. And I think the medium income is like 14,000 or something. But there's this one barber shop that was like, boarded up, but it had a sign that said, come on in, we're open, it was like very, very flickering lights and stuff.

So I looked it up, and according to Google Maps, it's an actual place. You don't have a website or anything, but it's real. How do barbershops, here's a question for you. The barbers shop model historically, but more specifically, currently, does not seem like a sustainable business model.

Like if you're a barber, I mean, who's a bar, like, could barbers pay the bills? I feel like you're not able to give enough haircuts in a day at, you know, a whatever price point to pay the bills. Maybe I'm wrong, but especially a place like that. You know, obviously you're just catering to the locals and people who know you no matter what.

And it's not people who are just wandering around town looking for a barber shop and they're like, oh, this place looks like it might be open. Because if you're just wandering around, you'd be like, I'm going to stay as far away from that place as possible because it looks like I'm going to get, you know, shaken down or something if I step foot near there. But Tuskegee is like a town full of a hundred of those barber shops, not literally, but that's what it looks like, and it's just, I just don't get it. I don't know, maybe I don't have the firmest grasp on city

planning and business organization and structure and all that stuff, but it was fascinating to me. It literally looks like William to come to Sherman just went through their torches of city and it was the day after. Except, I don't even think Sherman's March to the Sea wasn't even at Alabama. My analogy really makes no sense, but that's how I feel anyways. Alabama makes no sense, but that's how I feel anyways. Alabama makes no sense. The food, I mean, the circles back to me feeling like 75% of the people I saw down there were overweight because you look at the food they're serving.

And when I was at Tuskegee, I think it was. Yeah. You get dinner served to you beforehand. There's like a restaurant attached in the student union or wherever we were. And you go there and you look at the options. And I'm pretty confident that no one in Alabama has ever had a healthy meal in their life.

I mean, you go down the buffet options and here's what you got. So kudos to Tuskegee because they had iceberg lettuce versus just no vegetables at all. They had iceberg lettuce and just this huge had to have been two gallon. I don't want to call it a bucket, you know, a bowl is more appropriate, but it felt like a big old bucket of ranch. So just, you know, you look at the size of the salad bowl compared to the bowl for ranch,

and that's an early indicator of sort of what you're dealing with here. You move on. three kinds of protein, you got fried chicken, different kind of fried chicken, and another different kind of fried chicken. And it's like, I know, look, we're in the deep south, mom is cooking fried chicken, but, chicken, but just like what's the appeal of having fried chicken all the time. This is tough on your gut.

It's just so much extra necessary. You take a food that I have all the time chicken and something that's pretty damn good for you and essential protein amino acid building blocks for your muscles. Let me kiss my bicep there. And you take it and you just drown in a oil. And I'm not sitting here like, ah, fried chicken, gurus, I hate it. No, it's delicious. But apparently in Alabama people are having that like every day instead of just regular

chicken. And you're adding, you know, hundreds of calories each time you bite in. And it's just... I don't know how can you do that. Two dessert tables. Just every kind of cake and pie and sweet cream custard and pie and sweet cream custard and cheesy grits, whatever. I don't really understand grits and I don't want to. You could ever imagine. And then you got your picture of sweet tea on the table. Every picture had a thing of sweet tea. And there is no, this was fun, there was no like water option, nothing on the table, nothing hanging out around the buffet, just nope, you got sweet tea, which is basically water,

but with flavor and you know, another cup of sugar in there. And it's just like this is, this is the option. This is Alabama. Let me take a second here in my rant here. To just give a shout out to Mississippi because in here is why. It's still one of my least favorite states Mississippi. But I think a lot of people just lump, especially people who weren't from the South, just lump Alabama and Mississippi together.

I mean, to be fair, they're almost identical. They're also like mirror images of each other. If you just look at the, they're like geographic shapes, it's really fascinating. But here's the thing. A lot of people think Mississippi is the worst, and to be fair, it's the absolute pity of everything that's wrong with this country. But here's the bottom line. Mississippi is very aware from my time spent there of just how I was about to swear. But I realize we haven't given our listener discretion as advised to listen to the

bean town podcast. Number one, we'll case and use some foul language. Number two, podcasts are directly terrible. Mrs. Sippy knows they're like completely shitty and they embrace that fact. Alabama on the other hand is just as completely shitty as completely shitty as Mississippi, but they think like, oh, sweet home Alabama, welcome home y'all, like, oh, Leonard Skinner, we wrote a cool song about us, Reese Witherspoon made that movie 20 years ago, our football team, Roll Tide y'all, and like, what Alabama doesn't realize is they're actually the worst state

in the union. And in their defense they didn't even want to be part of the union, but thanks to Abraham Lincoln, they still are, or welcomed them back in. So that's the big thing between the big difference between Alabama and Mississippi, because if they both just embraced how awful they were, then they could be tied for, you know, number 50 in the worst state of all time. But Alabama thinks they're cool. Alabama thinks they're actually like a fun place to be.

When in reality, it's a God for saking land. I did, I mentioned earlier, I went to Talladega. It's about a 90 minute drive from Tuscaloosa. I learned in a conversation this morning with someone that they didn't even know Talladega was a real place. Yeah, it's a city in Alabama, a pretty small city, probably like 20,000 people or something.

And the race track is Talladega International Speedway. a pretty small city, probably like 20,000 people or something. And the race track is Taladega International Speedway. It's the biggest track in NASCAR. It's about 2.7 miles, something like that. Try oval. It's huge. It takes like a minute to get around a little bit longer than that maybe.

That's one of the tracks where you can hit 200 miles per hour when you're racing is pretty neat. But I go to Talladega because I've never been before and I do like NASCAR, day 200 to 500 is in two weeks maybe. And you drive out there and you can see it from, you know, a mile away, right? It's this huge grandstand that fits 80,000 people. But you can't really get close to the track because you turn in to the drive. Looks like you're about to go into an airport or something.

And all of a sudden, you can't even get closer than a couple hundred yards from the track itself before they got the toll booth looking thing. That's like the entrance. And of course, I'm, you know, I'm rolling in there at 6 p.m. on a Wednesday night. Like, it's closed. You know, you can't, there's no way around it, there's no way through. So, yes, if you're putting it together and you're thinking, gee, did Quinn drive 90 minutes, one way to get to a racetrack that he likes just to barely see it from a couple hundred yards away

and then take a picture and then drive 90 minutes back. The answer is yes. The answer is absolutely yes. Here's the thing, I'm into other NASCAR tracks. And, you know, I'm not expecting to be able to drive my personal vehicle on the tracks, although that would be a nice perk. But, like, you go to Dover, the Monster Mile, out there in Delaware, you can just drive right up to the track, and you're just looking at, you know, like, you know, you go to a football

stadium or something. No, I'm not going to be walking around around the field, but you can get up on the outside and take pictures. And it's cool. Daytona Beach, you can get pretty close. It's just like, why does, you know, what are you hiding, Talladega? That's my question. This is supposed to be like a mecca for white people,

like myself. But I can't even get close. So I got a picture and that was it. Disappointing. One highlight was that I did get to see it actual real-life plantation with working black slaves. That was pretty neat. Only in Alabama. No, I in Alabama. No, I'm kidding. It doesn't exist, not overtly, at least. There's a lot of implicit stuff going on there, but I mentioned how bad the online dating was,

I'm just reading through my notes here. Again, a lot of this was written half asleep. I got a lot of this was written half asleep. But yeah, I, there wasn't a lot of online dating action. Even in the college towns, I was getting almost no matches. Now, it's worth mentioning that that's not like a specific to Alabama thing, that's been true at all the states have gone to, all 49 of the states have gone to, but I wanted to mention to anyways

Just in case anyone's thinking you know, hey Quinn look you've had a rough time in the dating scene lately Maybe Alabama's gonna be the spark you need to really kick your love life into high gear Well check it off the list cuz or cross it off the list cuz we've by process of elimination effectively eliminated that one All I'm all I want to say here to finish up is that very simple, one word statement for how I feel about this state, and it is as follows. Alabama is proof that there is no God. All right, that's my rant on Alabama. What we're going to do right now. Apologies to anyone

who lives there who is actually like, oh, but I actually think it's kind of cool. Because when you live in a place long enough, you discover your local hangs and you figure out what you like, what you don't like, and your barber shop is boarded up, but it's still open because it's a port local business. I get it. But it's just like, man, that whole state is just. Again, going back to what I said earlier, there's nothing redeeming about it. The best part was the forests. And you can get forests anywhere.

These ones just happen to be nice in comparison to the rest of the state. And you know, fried chicken is cool, but I can eat fried chicken in a lot of places. I just, I don't, I've thought about this for like 20 minutes, both on and off the air, trying to think like, what is there in Alabama that's actually like, oh, this is, like, oh yeah, this is cool. I got nothing.

I got absolutely nothing. I'll keep thinking. I don't, they got a lot of cool Confederate enslaved history, okay? Preferred and I think about that stuff. Jesus Christ, all right, let's read some ads here. Do this quickly and then got a couple of their rants, you know. I'm on the war path today, all right? So shut up and listen.

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home Pride Organ.com. Again, that's 541-410-0316 or visit HomePrideOrgan.com. Again, that's 541-410-0316 or visit HomePrideOrgan.com. HomePrideOrgan in perfection. Shout out to the SAMHSA Q2U series. We talked about the Bible a little bit earlier today. Fun Verses. You're going to get a fun verse in Genesis 1-1. You're going to get a fun verse in Revelation 25-11 or whatever. The last verse of the Bible is, I don't know. I never sat down and just

read Revelation. I bet there's some pretty trippy stuff in there. A lot of brimstone. I feel like we already talked about this today. From Genesis to Exodus, Leviticus numbers, Deuteronomy, all the way to 1st and 2nd Peter, 1st, 2nd and 3rd John, and do a white. Here's a quick question. So John's got four books to himself in the Bible. He's got John, 1st John, 2nd John John, third John. But who decided, you know, because you know, this John guy's probably writing a lot. So how did we decide that John's going

to get three letters? Peter's going to get two. But then, you know, Timothy gets two. Jude only got one. Philemon only got one. Philemon is the shortest book in the Bible, I think. You know, it's like Colossians, Colossus of Rhodes. Anyways, you get it. You know, why does John get three?

Like plus a gospel. Man, this guy is caching in. He's got like a quarter of the, your testament on lockdown. Bastard. The Scott Ferrell audiobook is coming along. I was home. You guys will be proud of me.

And it's hopefully show my dedication to this project. I was in Chicago one night this week, right? Because I flew to Atlanta on Monday night, Tuesday, Wednesday, in Alabama, Thursday, Chicago, Friday, and Saturday, and in Texas. Thursday night, I spent doing a couple different things, but I was at home the whole time, and I recorded an hour of the Scott Furrow audio book,

which comes out to like 20 pages, something like that, 20, 25 pages. So we're about three to three and a half hours in something like that right now, which considering this is a project I started at the beginning of January, you're probably thinking, G Quinn, you're slackin', you're lazy, that's not a lot.

Let me tell you something. When you, if you've never recorded an audio book before, and I never have until this project, it's a bitch. Really hard. Just like, I mean, the book itself sucks, and it's really not that entertaining. But also just doing it that long, you're not used to talking as much as I do talk out loud for this podcast, I can say whatever I want, whereas I'm reading this book I gotta be laser focused.

And what doesn't help, here's something no one's talking about, is I lost my glasses. So after a while, stuff just starts to blurt together. So I'm doing my best. Maybe not every line is 100%. But we're doing it live anyways. Cuts by Q. Oh, here we go. This one has a song attached to it.

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then I can take a quick shower followed by hopefully a nap. What time is it right now? 138. I gotta leave it like 4. Let's time that I wish I had. If I can get a 60 minute nap and I'll be happy. I went to bed at like 11, something last night. We'll come back for this morning. So it's not like I didn't sleep at all, right? I got four plus hours of sleep, 45 hours. Which in grad school is a full night sleep. No, it is not so much.

I just the whole week with the Alabama stuff and while I'm driving, I just haven't felt well rested in a while here. So taking the sleep when I can get it. OK, these are just a couple more random thoughts. And they're not related to Alabama, but I just want everyone to know about them anyways. I'm gonna move through them pretty quickly.

You can love me or hate me, but this is how I feel. Starting off, if you fly to St. Louis from Chicago, then you deserve everything you get coming to you. Like, just, you'd be like, I was in awe in this morning, and you see flights to Houston, and it's like just stop. Just make a different choice. Marco Rubio, you probably saw his quote about impeachment stuff and here's how

I feel. Marco Rubio is a little bitch not because he's you know, a Republican, not because he's, you know, every Republican, but because he claims that the president commits impeachable offenses, it doesn't matter as long as it's for the good of the country for him to stay in power. Which, I mean, what, like, what the hell does that mean? I thought, you know, Derschowitz made the whatever his argument was earlier this week, he was like, oh my god, no one's going to top that. That's like the worst thing I've ever heard. And then Marco Rubio just came out and was like, hold my beer or whatever he drinks. Marco Rubio was the guy with the glass of water.

Remember he gave the Republican response to the state of the union address back in whatever that was, 2012 or something like that 2011. You have to watch this on YouTube if you don't remember. Just search Mark will be a water. I'm just going to let you discover it for yourself. Take 30 seconds out of the list and the podcast. We're almost done anyway. so you can just watch it afterwards. Oh, here's something. Okay, so Instagram fitness models, it's a big thing. I get more of it on my Instagram page than I want to, just from ads and then the recommended searches and stuff. I think what happens is you click on one of them and then it just floods your like recommended search with all that stuff.

Like give me a you know you know read it up a little bit here you know give me give me a little bit more diversified portfolio with my recommended searches but no they're not really interested in that. Okay so here's how I feel about Instagram fitness models. If you're able because they're always super dolled up all the makeup hairs on fleek as they would say if you're able, because they're always super dolled up, all the makeup, hairs on fleek, as they would say. If you're able to keep all that makeup going during your workout, then you're not doing a real workout. I'm not saying you can't be pretty and have a good workout, but if you look just as

Hashtag flawless at the start of your workout, as hashtag flawless at the start of your workout as you do at the end of your quote workout, then I don't really know, you know, you probably, you're not really getting anything out of that workout other than just likes from all the, you know, horny men watching your stories and stuff. And okay, another thing, can we quit it with the whole just work out the ass in nothing else routine? Because I feel like that's 95% of the Instagram fitness pages I see it's all just gotta get

as big of a butt as possible. And I don't really under it, like, I just, I don't get it. All you do are, you know, glute workouts, hamstring workouts, and squats, and every million variations on squats that there is. There are so many other things to work out. Look, when these Instagram fitness models die of heart disease at 85,

because they never did any real cardio, I'm not gonna come in there funeral. And I mean, so okay, so I wasn't gonna be invited anyways, because I died 25 years ago in it, but it's our competitive baking accident or something, but I'm still not coming, and I wanted them to know. Here's something I feel very passionately about, and it's relevant to something I've mentioned

probably a year or two years ago on the podcast. Sidewalk etiquette is what it's related to. I'm gonna expand it more broadly, but in general, I feel like people, and I notice this a lot because I live in a big city with times of sidewalks, and I also spend a lot of time in the airport. But people gotta learn to walk like you are supposed to drive on the highway, right?

If you're gonna change lanes, you don't just change lanes, right? You check your mirrors, check over your shoulder to prevent blind spots, you signal, you make a controlled lane change. I can't tell you the amount of times every week, either on the sidewalk or every week either on the sidewalk or at the airport or wherever you go where people are just all over the walkway. They're just migrating from one end to the other. Sometimes they have music going, sometimes they don't. But they'll just change through the different walking lanes without any, you know, no checking,

no always somebody right behind me and I just can barely not see them. Maybe this is just me, but anytime, you know, or like, if I, you know, okay, let's say let's do this. I'm walking in the airport and I'm walking behind a person who's going slower than me. So naturally you're going to go around them, right? Well, you don't, at least I don't, I don't just go around them looking ahead the whole time. If you're gonna move slightly to your left,

you're sure, right? Well, you should look because if, you know, what if someone is running up behind you with a big old cup of coffee and you, if you move out at just the right time, boom, you're going to nail them and everyone's going to be upset and it's going to cause a lot of problems. I can't tell you the amount of times I get cut off or bumped into because people are just changing lanes

without looking. Is it so hard to just, you don't even have to do a full head term, we're talking, I'm doing it right now. We're talking like, I don't know, they're what, 90 degrees in a half angle. All you need is a 45 degree turn to just you give your peripheral vision just a little glance over the shoulder, just to make sure there's no one who's like,

right on your side, and then you just do it. I do that when I'm walking, I do that when I'm running. You don't just move into a new lane of traffic without checking. It's just terrible practice, and it happens so much. We're trying to live in a society and people just don't care. Here's my last thing I'm gonna say because this podcast went like 48 minutes longer than I thought it was going to. Okay, and this has been this way for a couple years now, but on United you all know this. You have to pay to bring a carry on bag,

which is not the way it's supposed to be. United, you are spirit airlines, but you just paid more money to have rhapsody and blue be your theme song. Get the hell out of here. Okay, all right, sound good, good. I needed this. It's a good release.

Hey, whenever you're listening, whether it's before after the Super Bowl, maybe it's Monday morning at work, Quinn Port is hard out, so you don't have to. And that's my rant episode. Happy Groundhog Day. It's also Super Bowl Sunday. I didn't want to just spend a podcast talking about that

because I'm really not that, you know, I think it'll be a fun game, but I don't care that much. I try to remember what I said for my final score prediction. I think I'm calling 35-34-9ers, is what I'm saying. We'll see, it should be fun be fun something like I would be surprised if there were more than two or three field walls in the entire game So I'm thinking either I'm picking Niners regardless, but I think think like 35-34 or like 38-35 something like that Want the chiefs to win? I won't be

upset if the Niners win. I think the Niners are going to win. But we'll see. It should be fun. Okay, everyone, that's what I got for you. We're going to turn it over to yours truly to play us out. If you have any questions, email us, beantownpodcast. Yahoo.com, and it's beantown, B-A-N-T, and a podcast at Yahoo.com. And we'll love to hear from you. Ask your special next week, pledge-drive funders or annual telephone in two weeks. That's what's coming up here on the podcast. Be nice to everyone else. If you go to Alabama, just good luck and Godspeed.

Okay, that's all I want to say, everyone, take care. Have a good one and I'll check in on you next time. I'm going to miss you. 1.5% de la cacura nd Thank you.