Beantown Podcast - More Medical Procedures I've Always Wanted to Try (08262023 Beantown Podcast)
Episode Date: August 26, 2023Quinn comes to you LIVE with pap smears, wisdom tooth extractions, catheter setups, and much more. Our sequel to the critically-acclaimed 2021 podcast episode!...
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Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furnace. Welcome to my show Quinn David Furnace presents the bean town podcast for Saturday, August 26th, 2023. What's going on? What's happening? How are you? Last podcast of August?
last podcast of August 2023 is two thirds of the way over. My name is Quinn and this is my show. I am the line producer executive producer assistant producer of this fine program. Quinn David for
this presented me in Tom podcast and we are the 112th ranked comedy podcast in the great nation of Pecky Stan Hello Hydrobad Kiberpass, Karachi, Bombay,
wherever you get your podcast. Thank you for listening to us. Bean Town Networks, Bean
Town Podcasts.com, some real good stuff going on there. And hello to Chicago where we are
recording from. Today I've been scatting and bebopping all over the city. Today I've been busy, I woke up, I'll say
this, I had a decent amount to drink last night just beers out at the bars, watching the
cubs get just not smacked but they lost two to one, they didn't score a run till the
night thinning and they just looked terrible. So that was fun to a miserable sorry franchise franchise like the Pittsburgh pirates.
But had some of those and then you know just didn't get to bed till probably closer to 11-30-ish
something like that.
Rallyed this morning, set the alarm for six that didn't work. Try it again at seven, made it work, thankfully a kind of a cool morning here. We had a whole heatwave
Didn't even get to record during the heatwave. It was like 111
Here on Thursday Wednesday and Thursday were be root hole
Which reminds me before we go any further listen to discretion as and advice, when you're listening to this program, never wouldn't occasionally
some language.
Number two, this podcast is objectively terrible.
And speaking of drinking,
I'm working on a neon.
Nope, this is not the neon.
This is the hazy beer,
hug, a classic Chicago beer,
classic goose island beer.
So just, just tapped into it.
About five seconds before I hit the record button. So we're
working on that. First bev of the day. The woke up this morning said, you know what?
Let's go out there. Let's hit the trails, the lakefront trail and see how it goes.
Good, you know, good people watching on a day like today, which is a little bit
cooler so you can, you know, you don't have to wake up at like 5.30 AM
to get your long run in.
So I was out there, you know, eight o'clock and nine o'clock
or so and I went down to Gold Coast and Backup log nine and a half miles.
It was probably my longest run in,
I don't even know how long.
It's been a while since I pushed myself that far.
I was definitely feeling it.
I forgot my knee braces.
I just neglected to wear them.
And yeah, it was a struggle towards the end.
I'll tell you what, but a lot of good people watching.
And the sun was behind the clouds.
So you don't have to worry about sunburn or anything like that.
So that was nice.
And then I just walked back in about 15 minutes
ago from a long walk around the neighborhood,
went down to campus, scoping out for Monday.
All next week is teaching week here
for the new first year students that I mentored
and shepherded and the like.
So it just wasn't actually,
didn't need to actually scope anything out, right?
I literally worked there.
But it just says, it's a nice day, very windy,
but the sun's out and it's like 75 degrees.
It's muggy, but it's perfect, just walk in weather.
Walk in weather, W-A-L-K-I-N apostrophe weather. And so I logged
another like four and a half miles there. So, good day, lot of good steps. I guess if
you're doing the math between those two things, we're up to, well, would that be like 14 miles, something like that, between the walk and the run. So good stuff. Back home in my
itty bitty blue shorts here. The reason I had time to do all the stuff today, Rachel is out and
about, now in Champagne, visiting future sister in the law, Sammy, his future sister in the law.
It doesn't make sense. Future sister in law of the podcast, Sammy,
who has returned back to school.
So shout out to the whole Rainbow's clan,
Betty Jose, Sammy, Amanda, Rachel.
Hope you guys are having a fun day.
We, one thing I'm gonna get into here,
there is podcasting me a little bit scattered.
We do have a topic towards in here,
but I do have my palindrome for you.
I've got trivia for you.
I have, it's a sequel episode, right?
We don't do sequels too often.
There's, there's shows, annual shows that we do every year,
right, our tax is special, fantasy football special,
which will be next week, you know, Halloween,
Spooktacular, all sorts of stuff,
fun episodes for the whole family.
But this is actually gonna be like a sequel
because this is just a follow up to a show.
I had to look it up, we did it, I think two summers ago.
I thought it was older than that, but it's not.
It's, it was our top 10 medical procedures.
I've always wanted to try.
As you know, I'm officially an unlicensed unregistered nurse kind of a you are and
So one of those degrees you don't really have to go to school for you can kind of watch some videos online, you know, do a webinar
basically it's it's
It's you know, it just you don't really have the hassle of
all the credentials and the you know state laws and federal guidelines and stuff and I you know I don't want to get into that. I'd rather just hassle of all the credentials and the state laws and federal guidelines and
stuff. I don't want to get into that. I'd rather just kind of do the healing and kind of
get in there with some snips. I love referring to scissors as snips because it's like you
could be trying to cut the hook out of a fish mouth or you could be, I don't know,
doing one of these medical procedures when I talk about a second here.
So I'll give you the list of 10 when we get there from last time.
And then this one, I think we have eight going on here.
But Rachel was at Jonas Brothers last night, which was pretty wild from what I heard.
And it reminded me I had to watch this today. So, you can't talk about
the Jonas Brothers without talking about bonus Jonas, right? And I think for a long time,
bonus Jonas was not the butt of the joke, but he was just kind of, you knew he existed,
but you didn't really know what his name was, or what was he doing in life you know he's he's like 14 years younger than the the the other the other ones I think I
think Nick Jonas is the third youngest and I think he's like 36 or something
now and bonus Jonas is like 21 or 22 or something so I actually I looked it up
and Frankie Frankie Jonas if you can believe it. So you got Kevin, Joe, Nick,
and Frankie in order of age, because I'm a total, I'm a total Joe bro ahead at this point.
I know all the ages, all the names. And I had a texted Rachel this from Barless night.
Well, she was at the concert.
I was like, because they were, I was, I was watching the Cubs game, but they were playing all Jonas
brother and Jonas brother and Jason music on the loudspeaker.
And Taylor Swift saw him came on and I had to ask Rachel, hey, did one of these J-brows,
including Franklin ever date Taylor Swift, because that feels right up their alley.
And apparently, she dated Joe Jonas, I believe.
So I don't think they're still together.
I don't think it worked out very well based off of my understanding.
But here's my question.
Does Taylor Swift have a signature song about Joe Jonas because there's, you know, there's all
too well, which was about Jake Jellin Hall, right? There's John John, I think it's
called, which is about John Mayer. There is probably one about, I don't know, who
else did she date, Justin Bieber? It's called, I think it was called, like, hey Justin or something like that.
So she's, you know, she got a lot of songs.
My question, which I've already asked,
is did Joe Jonas get a signature song?
So that's something I'll have to look into.
But my instincts did prove me correct.
She did date one of the Jonas Brothers.
I actually listened to a snippet
because I couldn't, boy, I could not bring myself to listen to the
full, you know, two minutes and seven seconds that this song was, but the bonus Jonas put
out is putting out some music.
He's trying to make it in the industry.
He's got a very deep voice and it's not like a bad voice or anything, but it's not really
like a pop music kind of voice and the style of song he chose that I listen to like was a very strange fit for
his voice so look I don't have any personal of indebted against bonus
Jonas I hope he has a long and illustrious career but I don't know I think
Franklin's fighting uphill battle it did remind me though of a great SNL sketch, which I would encourage you to watch.
It's our bean town featured YouTube video of the week.
This is where I'd play that jingle that I wrote for this recurring segment, if I had one.
But it's a sketch about bonus Jonas, but not about Franklin Jonas.
The joke is that there's Alec Baldwin plays
bonus Jonas, and it's pretty fun. It's a little, it gets a little stale around like, you
know, 75% of the way through, but it's, Alec Baldwin does this great thing. A couple
times in the sketch where they're like voting on something as a band, and he says, I'm
the oldest, so my vote counts twice. And you just said you'd have to watch it. It's it's way
funnier when he actually does it but he always counts. It's like one two for me. And then
the Jonas Brothers raised their hand and they're like one two three and he realizes out
number and he's like damn. It's a I hadn't seen it in probably three or four years at this
point but it's it's pretty enjoyable. So go check it out.
That's our bean-town podcast featured YouTube video of the week.
You can find the entire collection on bean-townpodcast.com slash videos.
If you go there and you get a 404 page not found just, you know, it's probably, it's you,
you know, it's not me for sure.
But you could always email your complaints to bean-town podcasts at Yahoo dot com again. It's bean-town
Thein podcast at Yahoo dot com. Okay today's palindrome of the day. I was listening to some journey
Which we talked about a couple weeks ago on this program on my walk today and
This song or this this this this word I like it could be the name of a journey
album.
That's sort of the vision I've taken with this word.
So today's Palendrom of the Day Reviver.
Not Survivor Reviver.
Like Reviver, I hardly know her. R-E-V-I-V-E-R. I had to stand up and podcasting
while standing up currently.
That something with these short shorts really was kind of
bunch in my Jimmy's.
Russell and my Jimmy's getting my Jimmy's in a knot.
My Jimmy's are doing all sorts of things.
But we're back to being seated here. Probably should have turned on a fan. I'm just going to be doing some of the things I've been doing. I'm just going to be doing some of the things I've been doing.
I'm just going to be doing some of the things I've been doing.
I'm just going to be doing some of the things I've been doing.
I'm just going to be doing some of the things I've been doing.
I'm just going to be doing some of the things I've been doing.
I'm just going to be doing some of the things I've been doing. But I just felt like, you know, I was keeping the AC at like 74 or 75.
And that's what the temperature was outside.
And it's windy and breezy outside.
So I was just kind of like, you know what, let's just, let's give the old, comed boy a break
and get some all natural stuff going on in here.
But it gets hot when I podcast, you know,
speaking of tens of people, it can be nerve-wracking
from time to time.
Even for season pros, I think we're like nine episodes
or something away from maybe even less than that,
maybe like seven or eight episodes away from number 300,
which is pretty exciting.
I mentioned Jonas Brothers, obviously played
at Wrigley last night, the night before was Guns and Roses.
And I wasn't home much last night to try to hear
that Jonas Brothers.
I heard them a little bit on my walk.
Excuse me, from the last bar I was at Greystone,
back home, a song I didn't know.
But the way the wind was blowing Thursday night
when I was at home, I could hear full on
Axel Rose, Guns and Rose's action.
In fact, there was a point where I opened the window
a little bit, not for too long, right?
Got that AC on, but I caught it in the right,
perfect timing of the ending guitar solo for Sweet Child The Mind. Wow, runnin' down, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Where do I go now? Yeah. Yeah. OK.
That's enough of that.
But it's kind of cool.
You know, kind of cool to hear live.
Those tickets were going super cheap.
I had my finger all the way in the button a couple of times
on Thursday at the office just exciting.
Rachel was going on to dinner, drinks with her friends. friends And I was just like I got a wide open night here
It's you know literally down the street from the apartment all that fun stuff
But I was then I was just like you know what? I don't want to actually like
I don't really care that much about guns and roses. I don't want to sit there for like
two and a half hours
overpriced beer
to know like you know three or four songs right so
and I'll say this I was walking home you know with different concerts at Riggly
it attracts different crowds and types of people right so like we went to spring
steam and it was I would say white people was really the demographic which could be
applied to a lot of the Riggly concerts, including Jonas Brothers and Guns and Roses and Pink and
all that stuff.
But, you know, Jonas Brothers, it was mostly females between like 16 and 30, I would say.
And then Pink, we talked about this a couple of episodes ago, I think. But I was like, to this day, I still don't really understand pink's market.
It's not that I dislike her. I just personally don't have a good grasp on like, who is a really big pink fan?
Egy Lesbians, I don't know. I think that's probably a pretty big population, so I get it.
Not disparaging that in any way. I'm just not as perse familiar. The point I'm trying to make here though is I was walking home from the train
Thursday, like an hour before the concert started.
And the crew, I was going to say group and crowd and then it came out as crew,
Columbus crew, MLS legends.
The crew of people that that concert seemed to
attract was a lot of like 50-year-old smoker, biker gang kind of, biker gang kind of
people. And I just wasn't sure like if I wanted to be amongst that, you know, for
two or three hours. Not to mention our stadiums have gotten less safe.
If you went to the White Talks Athletics game last night, not only did you witness the
athletics went 12 to 4, and let's just put it this way.
If you are a baseball team that loses at home in 2023 to the Oakland Athletics by 8 plus
runs, that's about as just bad as it gets. is at home in 2023 to the Oakland athletics by eight plus runs.
That's about as just bad as it gets.
I mean, baseball, we've said this before, baseball is a random sport where you can be a good team, you play a bad team, you lose crazy games, random games, like,
there's always so much you can always control.
The white section on a good team, they're also a bad team, but the athletics are like
The White Sacks are on a good team. They're also a bad team, but the athletics are like historically
One of the worst baseball teams in the history of baseball and so when you give up 12 runs at home It only score four against that type of machine
It's pretty embarrassing, but of course
How does embarrassing is let letting fans smuggle guns into your game.
And the crazy thing is, these people got shot.
During the game was like the fourth inning or something
like that.
They just keep playing.
Now, they finally came to their senses.
They canceled the post concert, vanilla ice experience,
which is, vanilla ice experience, which is vanilla ice
after baseball games, something I'm very familiar with from my time up in Milwaukee last summer
in front of the show, Sam Anderson, and I went to a Brewer's game and then stuck around
for the vanilla ice concert with dancing, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and all that great
fun stuff.
But the fans in Chicago unfortunately last night didn't
get to enjoy that same experience. So they wouldn't post-polling or canceled the baseball game, but
Vinny Lice got chopped. But I mentioned Guns and Roses because that's going to be today's
Bean Tom podcast trivia question of the week. There'll be one trivia question and then I'll give
you a little bonus action if you want to take a guess. Although it'll be one trivia question and then I'll give you a little bonus action
if you want to take a guess. Although it'll be kind of hard to get the bonus question
unless you just know it. It's not one of those questions you can sort of reason.
I guess the first one, the main one, is kind of that way too. But it's one of those things
you've probably heard before. You're probably not going to know it to per se unless you're really plugged into the history of guns and roses
But you can give it a shot. So guns and roses
You might know
Their names or the name of the band was formed because
members of two previous bands came together to form
guns and roses and so
They took their names from the two, they took their
name from the previous bands they were in. So I just want you to name those two bands that
guns and roses were born out of. I will say this, I looked this up. It has to do with the
bonus question, which will not be about Axel Rose,
but at first I wanted to look up just to see what is Axel Rose's real name.
Is it actually Rose, how legit is the Rose aspect of Guns and Roses?
His last name, his birth name is Rose, so it was William Bruce Rose Jr.
So there you go.
It's not nothing crazy. Our bonus question will have to do with his bandmate, however.
So if you need more time to come up with the two bands who lost members to go on to form guns and roses, you can go ahead and
pause. The answer to this one is Hollywood Rose and LA Guns. So there you go. If you had the bands, Hollywood Rose and LA Guns, so there you go, if you had the bands, Hollywood Rose and LA Guns, then you'd be in good shape.
I don't really have a lot of good additional information
about any of these.
Hollywood Rose was formed in 1983,
and they did a couple little,
some minor revival in like 1989 for a year, but that was about
it.
I think Guns and Roses has broken up a decent amount.
LA Guns also formed in 1983, so everyone's kind of on the same page here.
And 1983, it's like the LA Guns stuck around for much longer.
They have a much longer Wikipedia article
than Hollywood Rose.
And they're still kind of going.
So go to them Tracy Guns,
Tracy Richard Irving Allrich.
No one professionally has Tracy Guns with two eyes,
American guitarist.
There you go.
He was also founding member of Guns and Rose, but left shortly afterwards and was replaced by guitar slash.
So Guns and Rose has had the guns and then Guns got replaced by slash, which brings us to this week's bonus question.
Can you tell me slash, slash is real name, slash is birth name. Okay, there's really no like beating around the bush here.
You either know what or you don't. The first name is biblical. And the last name
is the name of a big bay. Not Lizzo, right? B-A-Y, Big Bay.
The answer, by the way, is Saul Hudson.
Saul Hudson is slash his real name.
Is Lizzo partially canceled right now?
I'm trying to remember exactly,
she's kind of getting the Ellen DeGeneres thing going on
where she's just basically like really shitty
to her
Like backing dancers or singers something like that and trying to call exactly what it was there's a lawsuit
I haven't followed the story. I don't think it's been a huge story, but I can't recall if Lizzo is like
out or not
She Lizzo has two two albums now, right? I think our first one was really big
like five years ago, four years ago whenever that was and then I think the second
one was maybe last year or the year before when it came out and it was like
maybe she maybe had like one big single but I feel like it didn't quite make the waves
That her first one did and now she's like
Maybe partially canceled. Let's put it that way. So before we jump into some medical procedures here I want to give a shout out to our sponsors at Home Pride Oregon when you need your home-inspecting essential organ
You better call someone who's safe
Certified and expert you can trust that would be my dad Steve
Call him at 541-410-0316 or go to
homepriorgan.com to get serviced to get the good stuff.
Homepriorgan.com inspection perfection.
Also a shout out to the Samson Q2U series.
We are approaching 300 episodes here in the Bington Bug
as that's 300 times the Samson Q2U series
has not let me down.
When God speaks, he uses Samson. And then of course, our good friends over at Cuts by Q did some
more significant cuts by Q action. I think a Thursday night this week. You know, I trimmed off the
sides a little bit, not like all the way down or anything like that, just to get rid of some of the kind of like bulk bushy-ness
and then you know, shaving the neck
and taking care of that stuff too.
And it looked pretty clean.
I got a good look going on right now,
just in time for fall, just in time for teaching this fall
and time for our fantasy football special.
Football's kind of a source by today,
the Vikings lost in another preseason game. Which hey, if they keep a football, a football, a football, a a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, football, a football, a football, a football, football, a football, a football, a football, a football, football, a football, football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, football, a football, a football, a football, a football, football, a football, a football, a football, football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, a football, football, a football, football, a football, a football, a football, a football, football a football, football, a football, football, a football, football a football, a football, a football, football a football, a football, a football a football, a football, football, football, football a football, a, football a, football a football a football, football a football, football a The way they do it in preseason is the like national broadcast of the game.
It's not a national broadcast.
It's just a local broadcast, but I think only one of the teams gets at least from a TV perspective.
I think they both get radio.
Well, I think I think only one of the teams gets TV.
And the TV was for the Cardinals announcers today.
And man, they were, I get it if you're a homer and I get it. It's like it's like Cardinals announcers today and man they were, I get it if you're a Homer and I get it's
like a Cardinals broadcast production, you're going to talk all about your own players.
But they were especially their color guy was just a really like one of those guys who
just like an old football player who's just not a good announcer and it's like how could
there not be someone better in the pipeline to call this game?
Because this guy it wasn't just that he was a homer. He was just like a really bad announcer and
Vikings have a wide receiver Blake Prole who's the son of a former NFL player Ricky Prole and
apparently this Cardinals color guy had like played against Ricky Prole and it happened on like three or four different occasions where Blake Prole caught a pass this afternoon. And every time the color guy was
like son of Ricky Prole, that's crazy. He just couldn't believe that this, you know,
guy's kid also went to the NFL. And it was just the first time I was like, okay, yeah,
like it's an interesting, you know, good point, you know, that's cool. But then he kept
doing it the same thing over and over and he was so awestruck.
AWEST, RUC, I don't know,
and 297 episodes of the Binton podcast,
if we've ever used the term awestruck before.
But it's a pretty fun one.
Anyways, Vikings go on to lose.
They were up 14 to zero, five minutes into the game
and they lost 18 to 17.
So that kind of tells you what, 5 and it's ended the game and they lost 18 to 17. So that
kind of tells you what like the excitement level of the game. But the Vikings haven't
won a preseason game in like what four years, five years, something like that. It's the longest
streak in football. So, hey, it doesn't matter. But it's it'd be fun to win, you know. I think
that'd be cool. But cuts by Q and you need to fresh to use something snappy
or new call the experts at cuts by Q.
Okay, so to give you, last time we did this a couple years back,
it was a top 10 medical procedures I've always wanted to try.
Number 10, appendectomy, number nine, lobotomy,
number eight, organ transplant, number seven, vasectomy slash hysterectomy, Number 9, Lobotomy, Number 8, Organ Transplant, Number 7, Visectomy,
Slash, Historicomy, Slash Circumcision, that was a three-fer, which is fun because they're
really not, you know, Visectomy and Historicomy, I think you can like, call similar circumcision
as kind of its own little thing there.
Six, C-section, five, boob job for separation of controlling twins.
That's a must have been a fun episode.
Hey, if you're new to the show and you want to listen to just kind of a quintessential
emphasis on the Quinn, being town podcast kind of stylistically, that sounds like something
that would be up your alley.
Number three, Traky Outami number two, Tons Select Me number one, of course, everyone's
favorite, open heart surgery.
So we have eight here.
I did not rank them.
And this is just gonna be quicker
unless Formle I got nine minutes
for this Cubs game starts.
But the reason I thought of this for today
was Rachel had a visit to the OB-GYN the other day.
And I, you know, she was telling me a little bit about it,
and I thought to myself, you know, this is something
as an unregistered nurse myself.
Something that is interesting to me, it intrigues me.
It peaks my interest, it gets my, it wets my willy.
I would love to try out a pap smear, okay?
So the pap smear, of course, you gotta,
first you gotta be a woman,
but then you gotta lie down, you know,
back down to the table, put your legs in the cool stir-ups,
like if you're riding a horse at a 90 degree angle.
And then my understanding of the pap smear
from, you know, some videos I've watched online,
a lot of videos actually, but that's besides the point,
the pap smear seems to be you kind of
get in there with, you know, almost like a scalpel and you kind of just go to town on the land down
under as Colin Hi would say. Any time I see Colin Hey's name, I always think of the Spanish word for,
what does it say? Is it there? Is, is I there? H-A-Y?
Something like that.
It's been a while since I took college Spanish.
Although I got an A in all my Spanish classes.
But you kind of get the scalpel going.
And then my understanding with the pap smear,
I don't really know where the pap comes into play,
but I think you basically grab some eggs from there.
And on fertilized eggs, I should specify.
And then you kind of smear them onto,
I don't know if it's like one of those like strips
that you put in the pool, the test, the chlorine levels,
or what kind of thing you're smearing this on.
But my understanding then of the difference between a pap smear
and like freezing your embryos
is the pap smear is just like it's for the doctor, you know, you test them and then you
probably, you know, recycle them or compost them or something.
If you want to like freeze the embryo as the eggs, obviously it's going to cost you extra
because they got to, you know, put them in the ice tray and then you're you're paying
them for the storage.
I think that's really where freezing the eggs
becomes more expensive, which is understandable, right? Like storage isn't free, nor is cold temperatures.
So unless you live up in like Baffin Island
or something, Greenland, it's Fawabard,
that's a VAL, B-A-R-D.
So that's a perhaps smear, I think that would be fun.
And then Rachel was telling me something else
that didn't happen at her appointment
But apparently there's this kind of cool thing where you like press your boobs into like some sort of metal plate or something
Which I mean I don't have like
Female boobs would have man boobs and I feel like I could do something similar
But one thing I think would be really nice is I remember when our dog died
I think would be really nice is I remember when our dog died
They did this cool thing Where you like press the pot into wet cement or something and so then you kind of have that
like
The the paw print forever essentially. It's almost like a fingerprint or something like that
But it's like in the in the concrete in the cement whatever
So I'm wondering you know,, if we're pushing our boobs
into metal plates, what if we push boobs into
like, you know, wet cement or concrete or something.
And then you kind of have that shape, you know,
that way, you know, you wouldn't even like,
if you wanted to go like, by,
if I want to go by Rachel Bra,
I was at Target earlier, you know, getting garbage bags and toilet paper,
but I was like, you walk through,
obviously you intentionally walk through
like the lingerie section to try to get some action and stuff.
But it's like, hey, if I had a little cement boob
in my back pocket, then I think it would just be easier
to be like, oh, let me whip this baby out. You
know, hold it up against, you know, or we're talking A cop, we're talking F cop, J cop,
where, you know, and then you got the numbers, you need a small medium large, a venti, but
it would be a lot easier personally for me as someone who doesn't buy a lot of intimits
if I may say so,
to just kind of whip that out, I think something to consider,
maybe there was more lightweight material.
I think if you, I imagine if you were dating someone
with a larger bust, I could see that concrete getting pretty heavy.
Although at the same time, there would be less concrete
because the boob would push further
in and it would take up more space.
So there's probably some sort of like mathematical equation that like shows you the perfect size
versus way, I don't know, but some things to consider.
So not only would we be interested in the medical procedure, a pap smear, but I think Quinn's
boob memories could be an interesting business, maybe pitch on shark tank or something.
Other things that could be fun, setting up a catheter.
I don't really know the medical terminology for this,
but it's something I'd like to just like set up.
I'm more familiar with the male experience,
although I don't think I've been
you know, cauterized myself in the past,
but you basically stick the tube up the urethra and
until it locks into the ureter, U-R-E-T-E-R, and then basically that urine can just freely
flow, which is pretty nice.
So, I think setting up a catheter could be pretty
cool and you could while you're doing it for like increased accuracy you can
listen to the smash death cab hit Cath from the album narrow stairs. Cath she stands She stands with a well-intentioned man,
but she can't relax with his hands on the small of her back.
And so on and so forth.
So something to consider,
I don't know if there's a more medically appropriate,
if someone appropriated a name for the catheter setup, but that's what I
have written in my notes here.
Next up, last episode we did this, we talked about the tonsillectomy.
This is in the same kind of ballpark, but wisdom t3 removal.
So what I like about this is you got to kind of slice into the gums to, you know, have
first contact.
Rambo first blood, right?
There'd be, there'd be first, second and third, and much more blood if I was extracting
your wisdom.
That's the other thing too.
When you take out wisdom teeth, you don't just get them removed, they're extracted.
So I could enact my scalpel and I could extract your wisdom teeth.
And it's like, you can take one, two, three, four, some people probably have like five
or six, I don't know.
But my thing too is like, what do they actually do?
So you slice open the gums, you see the teeth kind of hiding up there.
Then it's like, you know, they're probably like any other tooth, right?
So they're kind of connected to the root, the roots and all that stuff with the quest
love, etc.
But then you got to, you know, what do you do to like cut that baby out?
Do you just yank them with pliers?
Like if you were taking out your own teeth, or is there more of like a cutting kind of action?
This is one of that I haven't watched a video on so I probably want to do a little bit more research before I get in there but
But then you stitch it back up just like tying shoelaces and then you're
You're good to go. So wisdom teeth removal
Extraction rather I should change what I have written in my notes
teeth removal, extraction. Rather, I should change what I have written in my notes.
Cornia transplant, this is kind of an interesting one, right?
You've heard the stories now of people who they're blinded,
maybe, excuse me, solar eclipse or something,
I don't really know what you did to get blinded.
It's not my eyes, But then you can actually transfer cornyas to a new person with
bad cornyas. See, my thing is, though, who's given up their cornyas? This would have to
be like one of your like, you die, but they check your wallet and you're an organ donor
kind of thing. But how good, you know, how long do corny's last? I assume you got to put them on ice. Tom Cruise
kind of did this in Minority Report. He gets the new Cornia's. So I think I wouldn't
probably need to watch many videos because they're seeing that probably one and a half times.
Minority Report. It's a Spielberg film based off of a Philip K. Dick short story.
It's Tom Cruise and Colin Farrell.
It's a great kind of sci-fi thriller, good, solid movie.
But I would probably watch that to get you some new cornyas.
A couple more here.
I don't really know what this is, but spinal fusion is what I have written in my notes.
I guess you gotta like, you know,
make an incision in the back,
and then I imagine, you know, you got the welders,
and they have like the cool welding tool
and the whole like face mask looks like iron man or something.
I suppose if you were fusing something together,
you would probably want to do something like that.
Now the question I would have with that, which relates to the next thing we probably want to do something like that now the question for I would have with that
Which relates to the next thing we do want to try which is burn
Debridement I don't know if that's how you say it
The word maybe think of debris, but this has a DE not an S
Debridement DEB are IDE
MENT So if you're if you're fusing the spine together with like a blowtorch kind of tool, it doesn't have to be able to torch but a similar tool.
Then, you know, you'd probably have some burns elsewhere on the skin.
And you might need a skin graft, which is the last thing we wanted to do, and there's one more thing too. But burned abridement is kind of when you like are trying
to like fix an open wound,
but there's like other specks of stuff in there,
you know, bones, cement, nerds, the candy.
You know, so if you need to deep ride that region.
And so you probably need to do that if you with the blowtorch
First bundle fusion, but skin graft, anything is kind of cool too. It's where I can like
I
Can turn you over. I can get your big old booty
Probably want to wax it first to make it look nice and then you just kind of slice off that you know
Epidermic region
EPI DERMIC
epidemic region, EPIDERMIC, and then you just kind of transplant it, you know, to wherever it could be your throat, you know, your left ear, your, the back ear knee cap, not the
back ear knee, the back ear cap, specifically, which makes a lot
of sense.
But that's getting grabbed.
And the last one, gastric bypass, right?
I just imagine like, you know, when you're, you got a vacuum and it has like the attachments
and one of them is got like a cool little tube.
I kind of imagine like, what if I just like, I don't know, like kind of, kind of hold in
like the belly or the butter, wherever they're, you know, bypassing the gas from any just kind of, uh, kind of put it in there and then,
like, twist clockwise, probably to like lock in and then just, uh, you know, turn your
vacuum on high or something.
I don't know.
We used to have that cool vacuum system in our house grown up that we never actually
used, but it's like, you can like connect a hose or a tube to the wall and I don't really know what happens
after that but we never use it I thought it was I was kind of cool though when
wasn't supposed to open it and like throw stuff in there but I might have thrown
a nerd nerds in there once or twice just a grape once I don't care for those as
much but those were my medical procedures part two I've always wanted to try. Pap smear, boob mold, quins, quins,
boob molds. Trademark you heard of here first. Catheter set up with some teeth
extraction, cornea transplant, spinal fusion, burn, debridement, skin graft,
end gastric bypass. So there you go. As an unregistered nurse, I am officially unlicensed to try these things, but that doesn't mean I won't try.
So if you, I mean, if you lose your corneas or something or you want me to shave some skin off your butt, just let me know or attach
Attached the vacuum hose. We'll see what we can do. Thanks for tuning in. Those were some medical procedures. I would like to try.
Thank you for playing trivia.
And you can always stay in touch with the show.
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That'd be great. That's what I got for you. Cubs game is starting up here in Pittsburgh. I'm going to keep going on my hazy beer hug, make some supper, and I'm done walking for the day, okay? 14 plus miles, although I will go listen
to the James Taylor song Walking Man,
because that's a great song.
That's what I got for you.
Let's queue up the outro music here.
My name's Quinn David Fernos, everyone.
We'll see you in September next week
for our Fantasy Football Special.
Everyone stay safe, stay sane.
I'll check in on you next time.
Bye.
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Thank you.