Beantown Podcast - Power Ranking the NFL Franchises by Misery Level (09062024 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

Quinn comes to you LIVE to breakdown all 32 NFL franchises by their misery rating (TM)

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast for Friday, September 6th, 2024. What's happening? What's going on? How are you? My name is Quinn and this is my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast now and it's lucky number seventh season. I've lost track on where we are in a number of episodes. I think it's like 3.30, 3.35, something like that. Very exciting. Still coming off that high of Gerard Butler

not showing up to the 300th episode release party. My name is Quinn. I'm the creator the host the chief mixologist and Chief party planner of this show. It's always a party releasing the Bean Town podcast, but we are going to a restaurant tonight To scope it out for our rehearsal dinner party a welcome party of sorts. So wish us luck our rehearsal dinner party, a welcome party of sorts. So wish us luck. I'm going to explore the space visually, physically, orally. I would like to get a sense of the acoustics, not to prepare for a podcast, but just in case I want to give a booming speech at any point. B-O-O-M-I-N-G booming. But yeah, thank you to our friends in Pakistan. Hello, Hyderabad, Karachi, Khyber Pass. Thanks for making us the 112th ranked comedy podcast in the great Islamic Republic of

Pakistan. And thank you to everyone listening out there in the greater Chicagoland area for making us the, one of the top 500 podcasts on the north side of Chicago. It is, I feel like we don't usually get into the what's you know, news from Lake Wobbagon type stuff until after the entertainer finishes, but we're just, we're up and at it today. Very efficient episode. It's probably the most classic trope in all of Beantown lore to say you're gonna run a tight 30 efficient episode and then go on for 75 minutes. But it's actually happening today because it's 530 p.m. We actually are going to dinner to scope out this place. And so I can't just sit here and read passages from the Book of

Exodus and talk about Mufasa the Lion King for half an hour. But I will talk about Mufasa the Lion King for 30 seconds. A reminder, only in theaters December 20th, 2024. I don't have the counter in front of me. I think it's like, it's got to be what, like 110 days, something like that until Mufasa, the Lion King comes out. Big news this week, Barry Jenkins out there. I don't know if defending is the right term, but he had to like talk about Beyonce's daughter being in the film. I assume Beyonce was in the original Lion King and when I say original Lion King, I mean the one they made like three years ago. Was she Nala? And Donald Glover was Simba? Am I remembering this correctly? Then who played Mufasa? Well, of course, it's

none other than the incomparable James Earl Jones who obviously of course is reprising his role. You know speaking of James Earl Jones and Mufasa the Lion King there are certain scenes that always in Disney films that always spooked me a little bit and I'm pretty there's, maybe I'm misremembering this, but in the original 1994 Lion King, flex on the year because I actually know it. And I think that's right. And if it's not, that's really embarrassing.

But I'm pretty sure Lion King was 1994. There's a scene must be right after he sings Hakuna Matata and before he bangs Nala where Simba like sees his dad Mufasa the Lion King in the stars and he's talking to him giving him a pep talk or something I don't know exactly what he's talking about. Telling him to go back to Pride Rock. The point I'm trying to make is that scene always scared me I don't know what it is, but about his like face showing up in the stars. It's always a little bit spooked. Nothing

will ever beat the grandma tree in Pocahontas though. I don't, maybe I just have a fear of the elderly. I'm not sure what it is, but when she's going into the forest, Pocahontas that is, but when she's going into the forest, Pocahontas that is, talking to, I don't know if it's supposed to be her mom or grandma or if it's just an old elderly tree, but I think it was the, the, the, because it's a willow tree, right? It's a weeping willow and it's just the, the, the tree bark standing in for the wrinkles just spooked me. I can't really explain it. Just as a kid, I got an uneasy feeling. I'm sure there are others out there. I'm not going to try to go through all of this

and dissect it for you. The only other one that comes off the top of my head is at the end of the final battle in Aladdin. I feel like Jafar gets a little bit spooky. And I think the genie, Robin Williams, goes from blue to red, and he gets all buff and stuff. He's got maybe spooky eyes. That kind of scared me, too, if I'm being completely honest

with you. Let us know. Email us, beanthownpodcasts at yahoo.com. Again, that's beanthownpodcasts at yahoo.com. It can be Disney or otherwise. Moments from childhood classics that spooked you a little bit too much. I think maybe when the beast turns back into his human form, that's supposed to be like a tender, triumphant moment. That kind of spooked me as well.

Oh, you know what the other one was? This is the last thing before we move on because there's things I want to get to in the next 30 minutes. The witch in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves when she goes from the queen to the witch. That's pretty spooky. I think that might be the most spooky. In my mind it was always like, oh Pocahontas, that's kind of like the grandma in the tree is kind of scary, but that was more just like an uneasy feeling. I think I was legitimately scared by the evil queen and Snow White and the seven dwarfs. So there you go. Email us, let us know. I just took a bunch of good ones, but I'm sure there are others out there. And for the new age kids out there, I bet there's ones in May and Kanto or what is it? Is it just in Kanta and Kanto? I don't know, I never saw it. But I am on a hot streak on Duolingo.

Still haven't missed a day this year. Survived week one of being in the Diamond League, which is the top league on Duolingo. Basically, you get a certain amount of XP for every exercise you do. And if you do enough in a single week, you'll get promoted to the next league. It's more basically talking like English premier league stuff. So I finally, just last week, literally after playing for what? 30 some weeks this

year made it to the top league. I think there's like 15 of them in Duolingo. And now I'm, now I'm at the top and I was the last person to avoid relegation. This past Sunday I was sweating bullets but I made it at least one week. I don't think I'm going to stay there forever because I don't like the idea of like doing just what you need to do to get the XP and stay in some sort of arbitrary league. But I'll be honest with you it was a good feeling to get to Diamond League and stay there for a week. I'm pretty proud of myself.

It's pretty competitive in Spanish. Maybe I should try to game the system like all these kids trying to game college admissions by applying as humanities majors. I should switch from Spanish to Haitian Creole or something. Or Wahakin. Oh, god. Can I spell it? I don't think so. It's like O-U-X-A-C-A-N. Is it that simple? I feel like it's not. But don't quote me. That's Mufasa, The Lion King, only in theaters December 20th, 2024.

This week on the campaign trail, there was a lot of stuff going on. And I tried to write down what I could recall. I think first and foremost, we'll look back first and then we'll look ahead. All the way back, so this wasn't this past week, but the clip resurfaced and I had never seen it. So it was from a couple months back. JD Vance was on the campaign trail doing some union work. Cuz no one's ever been more pro-union than Donald Trump and JD Vance was on the campaign trail doing some union work. Because no one's ever been more pro-union than Donald Trump and JD Vance.

And there was a lady trying to give him a fist bump, and he shook her hand. So he's got her whole fist just in his handshake. The best part is, OK, you make that. It's kind of funny, whatever. But then he tried to fist bump her, and she wouldn't do it. And it was just very awkward. Then I heard, I didn't see this, but I heard Tim Waltz was mocking JD Vance's

donut store trip, which we highlighted on the show a couple of months, or a couple of weeks back. So I got to go try to dig that up. There were two great JD Vance things I saw this week. One, as so after the unfortunate, the tragic school shooting in Georgia a couple of days ago, JD Vance was giving a speech where he said something along the lines of, you know, it's just one of those things

you can't control. And of course he's behind bulletproof glass as it's happening. And it's just, oh man, it's just funny and tragic all at the same time. And then he also, this was like Tuesday or something, he was giving a speech to, I don't know, it was some sort of union something. And he was talking about childcare, they asked him, hey, you know, like, what's, what's your plan for,

you know, childcare reform, not necessarily the right word, but like, you know, making it easier to be a working parent and have a kid, which is something I'm, you know, in that stage of life, I'm very, um, whatever the op- I'm, I'm, I'm finally tuned into this, whatever the opposite of immune to this is. Uh, that's how I feel about this. Not that I'm paying that much attention to what JD Vance has to say about it, but his, his, uh, sentiment was essentially, well, you just try to use grandma and grandpa to watch your kids and that could be a good childcare strategy. And then he got booed, which was hilarious.

It's just, I don't know, man, between Trump getting booed in Chicago and JD Vance, his childcare policy getting booed. I got to give these guys, at least JD Vance, go home and he's like, he's got terrible ideas and policies, but he's not lying about them. That's just what his idea is. That's what his vision is, that your wife can just stay home and take care of the kids,

or grandma and grandpa can do it. Not that there's actually substantive reform we could have. I feel like Trump's going to lie about that stuff. JD Mansell will just tell it like he feels. And that's why it's pretty shocking that there's still, I saw some polls, like 15% of voters across the nation are still undecided, which I don't know, man. Just forget about Kamala Harris and Tim Walz for a second.

Donald Trump's been in the political spotlight for about a decade now. I don't know how you can, good or bad, love him or hate him. I don't know how you can sit there and just be like, yeah, I'm still not sure about this Trump guy. I don't know. I could use another three months on top of this past 10 years to really figure

things out. That's one legitimate question I have about this upcoming election that I don't understand and I wish someone could explain it to me. I don't think someone can explain it. How are there so many undecided voters still? It's weird to me. I don't know. Apparently, I just saw sort of the headline.

I didn't do research into this myself, but maybe you all can. Melania Trump, who is still alive. I think a lot of us forgot that she existed, but she's still out there. She has a new memoir, which Michelle Obama wrote. It's fantastic. It's $30 on Amazon, but I'm not joking. If you buy it on the, this is in quotes, premium art paper, which sounds like, I don't know, HP printer jets

new strategy for staying in business premium art paper, it's apparently $150. Oh, it comes with her signature as well. So that's the premium art paper is $1 and the Melania signature is another $119. So why get your Melania ghostwritten memoir on Amazon for $30 when you can get it on premium art paper for $150? Maybe there'll be a Trump NFT thrown in there. You can use it as a bookmark. It's a physical NFT. Just wrap your head around that. And then finally looking ahead, I think it's Wednesday. Excuse me, I don't have this in

front of me. I believe it's the, well, they wouldn't put it on Monday and they wouldn't put it on a Thursday with Thursday Night Football with the NFL season started. So let's fact check this presidential debate. 2024. I think it's Wednesday. Is that September 11th? Oh no, it actually is Tuesday. Okay, it's Tuesday. It's one day sooner than I thought. Tuesday, September 10th is the next debate. The first one between Kamala and Trump. And I was just getting this secondhand, so I don't know exactly where things stand right now. If you remember from the first debate back in June,

I think it was, between Biden and Trump, Biden's whole thing was that, and this is what happened, that the mics have to be shut off when you're not talking. And that was to prevent Trump from interrupting. And now the tables are turned, Kamala says, oh, no, we want the mics to be wide open, because I think she wants to go on the attack and take out Trump when he's lying, which will be,

she's never going to stop talking if that's the case. But Trump is pushing back, saying, no, no, no, we need the mics to cut off when you're not talking. So there's just been a lot of flipping and flopping. I don't know where things stand right now, but we will find out. By the way, not drinking a beer right now, already had a shower beer. I had a, I got a nice little damaged beer discount. The cans themselves aren't damaged, they just came loosely from packages. Four pack for three dollars, so whatever that comes out to 75 cents a beer and it's not going to blow

your socks off. But when you see a bundle like this for three bucks, it's just you grab it. So it was a Modelo, which I had today, a Budweiser or PBR. I don't drink Budweiser very often, but it's a fine beer, especially if you want to make a Boilermaker out of it. PBR is one of my favorites. And then a Goose IPA. So three, I would say like two average beers, one premium average beer, and then an IPA for three bucks, 12 ounce cans. I'll take that. And now I'm sipping on a, it's not your traditional Jack and Coke.

This is Trader Joe's brand Kentucky bourbon and diet Coke. That's what we do to get by, you know? The diet Coke was like 150 for a one liter. And the bourbon at Trader Joe's is like 15 bucks. So we probably got, I don't know, conservatively, probably like a $ 25 dollar 50 cocktail going on right now good value that's what I'm all about here in the Beantown podcast speaking of good value or good friends at home pride organ when

you need your home inspection in central Oregon call someone safe certified an expert you can trust could very well be my dad here's a number you can dial into your phone right now phone if only. If phone lines are busy, keep trying. 541-40316 or email homepartorgan.gmail.com. Again, that's 541-40316. Homepart Oregon inspection perfection. Of course, our good friends at the cuts by Q, the barbershop boutique, Northwest Indiana, Northern suburbs of Chicago, all the way up to Lake County will even cross state lines to Kenosha as long as you agree to buy me a spotted cow from New Glarus brewing company

I never got it I know there's a subculture of people who are like all into the spotted cow and it's like every time you go to Wisconsin you got to get it. You got to bring it back across state lines. And I'll personally feel the way. I think it's a good beer. I think it's a solid beer. But there's a million great beers right here. In my neighborhood by itself, we've

got Burning Bush Brewery, who released a brand new strawberry basil ale today. It's called the Eden. We got Dovetail. We got Beguile. I think Dovetail is doing their hefeweizen release party tonight. We got Demo. We got Dovetail, we got Beguile. I think Dovetail is doing their Heffa-Visin release party tonight. We got Demo, we got Is Was, we got Forbidden Root, we got Hot Butcher. You go West Center Irving Park, you got Aris out there, so a lot of good options.

Here in North Center, Chicago, when you need a fresh juice on the snap, you're new, call the experts at Cuts by Q. And finally, our good friends at the Samson Q2U series. Doing a lot of double duty, in fact. Last week when I was at that Presbyterian church paging through the Pentateuch, that could be my, that could be a good biblical series for me, or at least a sermon series.

Everything's in series these days. I was watching an old Mike Breaux, not old, that was current. Mike Breaux, not old, it was current. Mike Breaux was our former teaching pastor in Rockford. And now he's at a mega church in the Dallas area. And I was watching like two minutes of his sermon last week. And he was wrapping up a series on, I don't know what it was, love, patience, kindness,

respect, courageousness, godliness. It was one of those church terms. Everything's a series these days. So basically you can write one sermon and you can just break it up into five weeks, five chunks. So you're doing 20% of the work and you can just intersperse anecdotes, you can tell jokes, you can you can read a one verse from a chapter very slowly and say now let's reflect on that, let's expand on that. If we delve, it's like a dill pickle that's diving, if we dive in or dive or delve into the text, what does that mean for us as Christians? And then you gotta do long pauses so that it really lands.

And then, you know, 20 minutes into your sermon, you can bring the band back and you get a little soft guitar going, you know, to kind of transition you into that closing song. And then these fancy megachurches now, they've got great audiovisuals and excellent videography teams. So you could even take up another two or three minute chunk of your sermon just to have some sort of inspirational video filled

with a lot of people in communities staging a volunteer act. And make sure you throw in a lot of diversity in there because you're not going to see it in the crowds and the pews at the megachurches in Dallas, but you want to see it on the videos. It makes you feel good about yourself. Next thing you know, you just wrote a five-week sermon series in like five hours worth of time and that's your job.

So there you go. by Q no wrong one Samson Q2U series when God speaks or Mike Bro speaks he uses a Samson I think Mike Bro is a big LSU Tigers guy I think he's more of a like a Texas or Kentucky guy but I don't know what the B-R-E-A-U-X spelling in his last name, like bro, go tigers, G-E-A-U-X. It's Kismet, K-I-S-M-E-T, listening homework for the week. We already mentioned weeping willow, that's a Scotch Alpyn rag.

There's also the Kismet rag. So I would sing them on the air for you, but I promise you a tight, efficient episode. I'm a man of my word. So Kismet and Weeping Willow, great rags. Okay, what I wanted to get to here. So the NFL season started last night and we are going to, cause this isn't a,

I could have an NFL exclusive podcast, a sports exclusive podcast, but I like to make it open to all. But I did want to go through quickly because there's 32 teams. We are power ranking going into the 2024 seasons and the 32 NFL franchises based on how miserable their fan bases are currently. And this is inclusive of last night's game. So this isn't like the season. It's like after the first game of the season, which will impact not one team, but the other team, the losing team.

If you missed it, the Baltimore Ravens lost the chance to win or tie the game by literally a toe, which was brutal. Good for my fantasy prospects, but bad for just about everything else. War or peace, goodwill towards children, you know, all that stuff, seeing the Chiefs win again and get, I'm not a ref, I do believe in some ways the NFL is fixed. Specifically thinking about officiating. Last night did not help the cause. Nothing to do with the last play of the game. But I will beat this drama until the day I die.

Their right tackle, Jawan Taylor, fall starts on quite literally half or a quarter of the chiefs offensive snaps and he gets called, you know, one out of every 10 transgressions. Then the other times I feel like the down judge, the side judge, it's just like, you know what, he falls started, but I called it two players ago. Like Andy Reid's going to get pissed if I call it again so let's just it's okay this time and he just gets a step on you know the left left end I Joanne Taylor I don't know anything about him personally but just the fact that he gets away with a false start like ten times a game makes me my blood just

boils so and it last night was a great display of that. I think he got called once, and then like six or seven other times just didn't get called. And you're just sitting there watching. It's so obvious. It's so blatant when it happens. And you're like, oh, that's a false start. Are they going to call it?

No. Oh, rachie rice, 30 yard reception. Well, that could have been negative 5 yards, but instead it was 30 yards. And why is Patrick Mahomes helmet so high on his head? Right? I can't be the only one who notices this. No one else looks like this in football.

Why is Patrick Mahomes helmet so high? It makes me irrationally angry. Okay. So again, this is a sliding scale of most miserable to least miserable and I think it is more accurately it's like most miserable to most hopeful because you're going to see there are some franchises up here I think that are high, you know closer to hopeful than or closer to less miserable than the more miserable and it's not so much because their teams are awesome.

It's just because they got some hope for obvious reasons. So number 32, the most miserable franchise, and we're going to go through this quickly, I promise. In the NFL, the New Orleans Saints, I just got little unplanned blurbs or anecdotes for each one of these. But considering they're the most miserable, we'll give a little bit of extra attention to the Saints. What do you even have to look forward to? You're overpaying Derek Carr. You've got a young receiver, Chris Olave, who's fantastic, but he's going to want to get the bag in two or three years, like two years here. He's a third year receiver now.

He's going to want to get paid this off season. And you've got an aging running back, Alvin Kamara. You've got a bad head coach, Dennis Allen. You've got a defense that is nothing special. And your gadget player, Taysom Hill, is a 34-year-old Mormon. I just don't know what you have to look forward to as a Saints fan. Number 31, the Giants.

People thought, oh, maybe this past draft, they got a good draft pick. Maybe it's time to move on from Daniel Jones. He tore his ACL. He has not been consistent. But no, not only did they not get offensive help, they lost Saquon Barkley, their most impactful offensive player since probably other than, you know, well, Eli Manning, Plasko Burris were like the same year.

So yeah, you lost your, I'm not saying it was a bad decision to not overpay Saquon, but now you're rolling out there with Devin Singletary. Look, Malik neighbors is going to be good, but other than a solid above average defense in Malik neighbors, I just don't know what, what they got. And it's just a competitive division, so good luck. Number 30, the Patriots. The Patriots have Drake May, although he's not starting to start the year, which I think is a good thing long term for his development. But the Patriots, let's remember before Tom Brady, other than

popping up once or twice, like I think they went to the Super Bowl, a couple times they lost to the Bears, they lost to the Packers, I believe. Other than those two years and then the Brady era, they have been one of the most terrible franchises in football. And they're now getting some palindromic action. They're back to being terrible. And it's not a pretty future for the New England Patriots.

Number 29, the Raiders. I struggled with this one because they got a new coach, a smart guy, but when you actually break down the Raiders, there is not a lot to be optimistic about. They don't have a quarterback. Their best player on offense left, Josh Jacobs. Their best receiver, Devonte Adams, Adams is not happy nor has he really

ever been there and their defense is not bad but not great. Max Crosby is not getting any younger. So what are we really looking forward to other than this sphere in Las Vegas? I don't know. Raiders and you're playing the same division as Patrick Mahomes so good luck. Number 28 I got a little bit of a shocker for you. Gotta have some shock value. The Buffalo Bills. Here's why it's miserable. You you've been to the mountaintop like Moses and you saw the promised land but then Patrick Mahomes came down from the heavens and smote you with his staff of justice and Juwan Taylor's false start of good hope.

And if you're the Bills now, you're off the Stefan Diggs experiment, which I think is a good time for them to do that. But your defense is not as stout as it once was. Josh Allen is still a fantastic quarterback, but he's still got that fervor in him. He's still going to make boneheaded decisions from time to time.

And it's like, I'm not saying if you're a Bills fan, you go into the season and be like, oh, we suck. This is going to be bad. You're probably still going to make the playoffs. But I feel like we've seen their ceiling. And we're adding historical context into this as well for a team with so much just pain and destruction and four straight Super Bowl losses over the years.

There's a lot of misery here. So the Bills are number 28. Browns are number 27. And I know that they had a highly successful year last year. They got Kevin Stefanski who's great, probably a top two or three defense in the NFL. But your franchise core, Nick Chubb, just tore up his ACL last year. And then your quarterback is a rapist and you gave up like

100 first round picks for him. And even when he's been back, he hasn't been good, nowhere near how he was when he played for the Texans. And so it's kind of just like, what, what are we doing here if you're a Browns fan, you're gonna have a bunch of like, 13 to 10 games this year, and maybe sneak into the playoffs, maybe not. But just there's no chance that you could like go to Arrowhead in January and beat the Chiefs. So I don't really know what the Browns are doing here. And they're historically a very miserable fan tries. So that's why I what the Browns are doing here. And they're historically a very miserable franchise. So that's why I have the Browns at 27. Number 26, the Panthers. It was pretty miserable for them to have the worst record in football last year,

but then the number one overall pick they sold to the Bears the year before. So they didn't even get a cool draft pick. So they don't have a lot of help for Bryce Young. Look, they're propped up a little bit cuz they got a new coach They have the number one overall pick from the year before Bryce Young Heisman winner Like at some point you think it's gonna pan out, right? You just there's a lot of like freshness renewal in Carolina after yet last year is absolutely bad taste in the mouth But it's also like well, you didn't really give Bryce Young very many weapons to play

with even this off season. So I don't know. We'll see. I don't have a good feeling about Carolina. And historically it's been a rough, rough go of things for the Panthers. One really good year, they were 15 and one, almost won the Super Bowl, but it didn't happen. Number 25, this was a tough one to rank because they've got a good history lately and a good fan base, but I put the Seahawks.

I just feel like they're stuck in the middle. Now, they got some newness, they're off the Pete Carroll ride, they're off of Russell Wilson, but they don't have a quarterback figured out. Geno Smith is not bad, but he's not, you know, he doesn't have much tread left on those tires. Their defense is not legion of boom anymore. And you're playing in a tough division where you're probably realistically the worst team in the division, you know, or at least neck and neck with the Cardinals. And so if you're the Seahawks, I just don't really know what the like, what the goal is, what the path forward is right now.

Tough spot to be. Number 24, a lot of history goes into the Sea Atlanta Falcons. Look, there's undoubtedly a lot of excitement for this year. Like they have the offensive pieces. It should come together. Like it should, it should come together. It should work this year. But what if Kirk Cousins is just the same old Kirk Cousins

he's been? What if Penex's injury woes continue? What if their defense just doesn't get better because they didn't really invest in it? So you're playing in a weak division. I could see them getting propped up in the regular season, but I think it's fool's gold. That's the Falcons, number 24.

Number 23, the Dallas Cowboys. dropped up in the regular season, but I think it's fool's gold. That's the Falcons number 24. Number 23, the Dallas Cowboys. They have been at this elite regular season level for like five years now. And they just every year find a new embarrassing way to lose in the playoffs. Last year, this past year, they just got smoked at home by the Packers who were like nine and eight. So Dallas, I don't know what the like Dak Prescott's gonna be a free agent after this year ends. They just gave CD the bag. They're running

back is Ezekiel Elliott somehow. Their defense is elite, but now they got Mike Zimmer in there who's very toxic. I don't know. I don't feel great if you're a Cowboys fan. Number 22, the Broncos. You got Bo Nix. I don't think he's actually that good, but it could give you some spark. The defense, solid, not terrible. The thing with the Broncos, they're a completely average team. That doesn't mean they can't get better. It doesn't mean they don't have something to look forward to, but it's like, you're always going to have Patrick Mahomes in your division. You ever going to be better? And then also just, I would think if Sean Payton were my head coach

I would be relatively miserable because he's just kind of like a he's not like a fun person to be around He's just kind of terrible like if my team Decided oh, we're gonna get Sean Payton because he's a really good coach. I would just be kind of like oh, yeah He's really good at coaching football. He's also just kind of not a great person. So that wouldn't be very inspiring. That would make me feel a little bit miserable. Number 21, we have the commanders.

They finally got off the Ron Riverboat Rivera experiment. They got rid of Dan Snyder. They got the highest winner, Jaden Daniels. That being said, they got Dan Quinn, new coach. He was the coach of the Falcons when they blew the Super Bowl game. He's been the DC and Dallas for a while. I don't know if he's gonna be the guy to bring them to the promised land, cuz their defense has been atrocious.

So what is he gonna do to fix it? And also Jaden Daniels, is his game gonna translate to the NFL? I mean, we're gonna find out in 48 hours. I think there's some hope for commanders fans, but it's a lot of wait and see. Number 20, we got the Titans. It felt like they had kind of reached their ceiling with Mike Rabel, so they let him go.

They got Will Levis in there now. We think he's pretty good. We don't know for sure. Titans could be sneaky. They could be scrappy. They upset the Dolphins late last year. But it's also just kind of like, unless Will Leves becomes really good at football, we don't have a great receiving core.

We kind of got running back mercenaries and we just got rid of a good, like a very good head coach to kind of start over. So I think there's some renewed optimism in Nashville, but it can't be that high. Number 19, you got the Steelers. Tough franchise to rank because you got a team that has a winning record every single year and every single year just loses in the first round. So to me, that's more miserable than hopeful, especially now that your quarterbacks are Russell Wilson and Justin Fields.

I mean, that is the exact opposite of hope to me. But I don't know. It's like as long as you got TJ Watt, you always got a chance. So I think if I was a Steelers fan, I'd be pretty infuriated at this point. Like what is your, what's your quarterback plan? You just went out and got two new guys and neither of them are a long-term solution. It's not a great feeling. Number 18, I got the JETS, JETS, JETS. This is such a one-year window right now. It was supposed to be a two-year window and then Rogers got hurt and it came down to a one-year window, aka this year. If it doesn't work this year, where do you go as a JETS? You need a new quarterback. You're going to start paying guys in defense. You're going to have to pay both Garrett Wilson and Bryce Hall.

Probably not going to be able to do that and have a franchise quarterback. So it's kind of like this year a bust, but it's funny because it's not like they're this team that has been so close to just going all the way. And if they got the quarterback play, they would go all the way. It's like, though they've been really bad, maybe Rodgers in there will fix everything. We'll see. I think I'd be pretty suspect if I was a Jets fan. Number 17, my hometown Vikings. It's pretty miserable for 2024. I mean, it's gonna be fun to watch football, fun to watch the team see how the players progress, but you know it's gonna be bad because you got Sam Donald and you're just hinging on JJ McCarthy being fully recovered from his knee injury in 2025.

Lot of knocking on wood going, but it's better than rooting for Kurt Cousins. I'll tell you that much. Number 16, another tough team to rank, the Buccaneers. Okay, they won a playoff game last year, but they got Baker Mayfield following the Geno Smith path. So it's basically Buccaneers and Seahawks, same spot in my opinion. I just don't know, like, do you really think you can go all the way with Baker Mayfield when it's Super Bowl?

And if not, there's a little bit of misery there. Number 15, the Cardinals. There's more optimism here. You got Kyler is healthy again. You got Marvin Harrison Jr. generational talent. And you got no defense. But you got Trey McBride. So every Cardinals game this year

is about to be like 42 to 40. And even if you lose that game, it's not really miserable. It's kind of fun. So that's why the Cardinals are 15. Number 14 is the Jaguars. You got Trevor Lawrence, I think he's better than people give him credit for. You got a revamped wide receiver room this year. And just a coach, Doug Peterson, who knows how to win. So it's probably tough. The Jag,

but the reason they're hopeful is they were so good last year until Lawrence went down. And so they're hoping they just step right back in the saddle. Number 13, the Colts. Kind of some tepid optimism, right? They were so close to making the playoffs last year with Gardner-Menshue. Now Richardson is back healthy. Jonathan Taylor's got his contract, he's back healthy. Defense needs some work, but you know, it's serviceable. It just feels like, hey, with Anthony Richardson, the sky is the limit. Number 12, the Los Angeles Chargers. This felt kind of high, but I don't know.

You got Jim Harbaugh, who has only ever been successful in his career, and you have Justin Herbert, and the rest is a big question mark. We'll see if it falls into place. Number 11, I think in hindsight, it would have put lower, but you got the Eagles. Last year was just such a weird end to the season where they just tail spun so hard.

You still got Jalen Hurts, you still get AJ Brown, and now you got Saquon Barkley. And I feel like the Eagles fans out there are too drunk to not be optimistic, so that's why they're 11. 10 is the 49ers. Kind of similar to that other team I mentioned who reached to the mountaintop but then couldn't quite knock down the door I don't remember who that was get Cowboys maybe but the 49ers just keep going to the championship game keep going to the Super Bowl keep finding a way to lose and I think that's just got to be depressing after a while so there's still some optimism in San

Francisco but it's it would have been higher this time last year. Number nine is the Ravens. We alluded to them earlier. They're, they're very clearly one of the top two or three best teams in the AFC and they very clearly keep finding ways to lose to the chiefs. So I think if you're a Ravens fan, it's like, okay, yeah, like who route let's go. You're all excited for last night, like payback for the AC championship game, and then you lose again. And you're sort of like, hurrah, let's go. You're all excited for last night, like, payback for the ASE Championship game, and then you lose again. And you're sort of like, are we ever going to do this? We have Lamar Jackson, who is amazing until he's not,

and he misses wide open guys in the end zone. Number eight, the Rams. I think Rams fans are very quietly expecting this team to be Super Bowl competitive this year. They're running it back. They won the Super Bowl, what, four years ago? Matthew Stafford is no spring chicken, but they got Puka, they got Kyron, they got Cooper. And I don't know.

I still think they can make it happen. And I think if you're just listening to living in Los Angeles, the room for the Rams, you almost beat the Lions last year in Detroit. I think vibes are good. Number seven, this is just pure copium, the Bears. You got Kayla Williams. You got Kenan Allen. You got DJ Moore.

You got Roma Dunze. You got a good defense. I think the Bears are going to be solid this year. But if you live here in Chicago like I do, people think the Bears are like Super Bowl contenders. So there's a lot of hope here in Chicago. Number five, the Bengals. Speaking of the Rams, the Bengals were that close.

They very nearly beat the Rams in that Super Bowl. People are hoping, hey, Joe Burrow is back. It's been a while. We'd like to see him come back to his Heisman form. And with Jamar Chase hopefully playing, T. Higgins hopefully playing, it's just there's been this sense ever since the Bengals had that shock run to the Super Bowl. Where it's like, we are still that team, we're just getting unlucky. So that's why there's a lot of hope for the Bengals. Number four, the Dolphins.

It was a weird ending to the year, having to go to frozen arrowhead and losing to the Chiefs last year in the playoffs, but like Tuwa, Tyreek, A-Chan, and Mostert, and Waddle, like their offensive core is ridiculous. Now they lost a lot of defensive pieces this year. I'm not a huge Dolphins guy, but I think if you live in South Beach, you got no worries. You're just going to try to win every game like 70 to 60. They did score 70 points last year, so anything's possible. Number three, the Texans. They got CJ Stroud, they got Stefan Diggs, they bolstered their defense, they got Daniel Hunter.

I mean, it's nothing but just pure elation for the Texans now after, you know, no one expected them to do anything last year, and then they make a surprise run to the divisional round. That's what hope is all about, going into year two with your quarterback. Number two, the Packers. Packers fans waiting a long time. In fact, they're playing about an hour here. Fort Jordan loved to arrive, and the first half of the season

was not good. And then he just kicked everyone's ass at the second half of the season. Now they got Josh Jacobs. They got a good defense. Yeah, LaFleur is still doing his stuff. So the cheeseheads are feeling good. And number one, no surprise, Kansas City Chiefs. No explanation needed. All the attention, none of the false start penalties, all the Taylor Swift. So that's why the Chiefs are number one. So there you are. I'm not going to read 32 through one all over again because that was exhausting.

But we're just going to finish up with this day in history trivia question and then we're ending the show. Trivia September 6th is what I was trying to say. 1916. This grocery store chain and I don't know if the I assume this means the chain is from this city Memphis, Tennessee, but the store was opened in Memphis, Tennessee. It becomes so I'm looking for the chain, it becomes the first self serve grocery store in American history. self serve meaning not like you self checkout, but you physically walk into the

grocery store and you can pick out your own goods and items whereas before you would walk in and tell an employee here's what I want and they would grab it for you and then ring you up. So 1916 120 excuse me 108 years ago this grocery store chain in Memphis Tennessee becomes the first ever self-serve grocery store, allowing people to pick out and gather their own groceries. If you want a clue, which I think is pretty telling, if it pops into your head, here's your clue. It is a rhyming name. And when asked why he chose this name for his grocery store, the owner said it was something along the lines of it's memorable and just you asking that question makes it stand out. So if you want any more time, go ahead and pause because we're going to reveal the answer and close the show. The answer is Piggly Wiggly becomes the first self-serve grocery store chain in 1916 in Memphis, Tennessee. So there you

go. That's our Bean Tom podcast for the day, for the week. Thanks so much for tuning into my show. My name is Quinn David Furness. I hope everyone has a safe and happy start to the football season. Good luck on your fantasy lineups. My name is Quinn. Stay safe, stay sane. I'll check in on you next time. Bye. so so

so So Thank you.