Beantown Podcast - Ranking the Best Names from the 2024 NFL Draft (04282024 Beantown Podcast)
Episode Date: April 28, 2024Quinn comes to you LIVE to highlight some of the best names from this year's NFL draft...
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Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show. Quinn David Furness presents
the Bean Town podcast for Sunday, April 28th, 2024. Don't think I forgot about you. Sunday
at 5pm here, seven hours to go before missing our deadline
But not the case we come at you every week with a new episode of bean town podcast for about
330 or so weeks and counting my name is Quinn and this is my show. I am the writer creator producer and
Wardrobe by Quinn, let's just put it that way
Wearing my nice garage beer. It's a bad day to be a garage beer t-shirt that my future in-laws got for me
What's happening my name? Well, we already did that. Thank you to our friends in Pakistan for making us see 112 ranked
Comedy podcast in the great nation of Pakistan. Hello hello Karachi. Hello, Hyderabad. Hello
Islamabad hello, Dakar
Dakar always got the capitals of Senegal and Bangladesh mixed others Dakar and Dhaka, right?
confusing But thank you for listening to this show listener discretion is advised. We're listening to this program occasionally assume language
listener discretion is advised. When you're listening to this program, occasionally you'll assume language. And two, this podcast is subjectively terrible. Stumbling through it
today. I told Rachel we were coming back from Indiana, just a little vacation, getaway, Airbnb
for a couple nights. And you know, coming back this morning, we had to drive back, get groceries, drop stuff
at home, drive the car to sisters, drop off the car, take the bus back.
You know, it's just some some moves.
And just wasn't you know, wasn't feeling it energy wise for the podcast today.
So I apologize.
But I'm here.
I told Rachel and if there was ever a day
where we were gonna have a guest host or just have me write a script and have someone read the
script and that would be the Bean Town podcast today this would be the week for it but I'm uh
I'm here I'm standing tall true and proud we're going to jump into an episode we've never
done before, which is good.
But this is an annual event.
The NFL draft happened over this weekend from Thursday through Saturday.
It was plugged in, man.
I mean, the first round is a Vikings fan, one of the crazier first rounds in history.
And, you know, my podcast that I listen to, shout out to Purple Daily if you're a Vikings fan and you know my podcast that I listen to shout out to purple daily if
you're a Vikings fan and you want daily content the boys over at score north is
the name of like their media company and then purple daily is their Viking show
but they did a draft party up in Minneapolis at the the Fillmore theater
in Minneapolis which would have been fun to go to. But honestly, they've done a draft party
the last couple of years.
I think this was their third time.
And I knew I was going to be in Indiana,
so I wouldn't be able to go up to Minneapolis for it.
I was kind of bummed.
But then as I was watching, it's a concert venue.
They livestreamed the whole thing on YouTube.
Four hours.
Shout out to those guys.
That's really tough to do.
They're sitting on stage with microphones talking
for four hours. And I don't think they had bathroom
breaks either. But for the rest of the people, I'm sure it was, you know, hell of a great
time and it's not, not like you have to stay for the whole time, but for the most part,
you're just kind of like standing there in the concert venue, like drinking and you know,
that's kind of fun for a little bit, but I feel like it would get old after a while.
I did something kind of like that speaking of draft parties I went
with my friends Tom and Matt to the Blackhawks draft party at the Salt Shed this past year
I guess almost almost a full year ago now would have been like June, July, whenever
the NHL draft is and we did that but that worked out well because the Blackhawks had the first pick.
And so it was literally just like got there an hour early, took in some of the festivities
and then like stood inside for about five minutes while they made the pick.
And then I was like, oh yeah, awesome.
That's exciting.
Celebrate.
And then, I mean, we left.
We were there for like two hours total.
So pros and cons, I get it. But I would love to do something like that in the future.
Maybe Bean Town Podcast should host a draft party.
We'll see if Rachel will let me bring some of my friends
to the apartment.
Bean Town Podcast draft.
Maybe we need a Bean Town Podcast fantasy league.
Like draft your favorite things, like the Home Party Oregon
ad read, or this week on the campaign trail,
or even an old veteran like the Samson Q2U series.
Speaking of this week on the campaign trail,
let's Google it to see what happened.
Well, I'll say this.
You know what?
And I don't know if this was this.
I think this was more than a week ago.
But I was telling my friend, my college friend Sam Anderson,
who came down to Indiana to hang with us yesterday and today,
I was telling him about the Trump clip at Gettysburg.
So let's just focus on that.
I want to try to find the actual quote, the actual transcript.
Trump, Gettysburg, quote, never fight.
And I thought of this actually when
I was doing a little bit of research for the show,
because I wanted to do, or we are going to do,
break down some of the best names in the NFL draft.
And we can do it superlative style.
We'll see how it goes.
I think I identified a handful of names.
I'm like, oh, this is a good one.
We got to highlight this.
So that's the plan.
Let me see if there's on Twitter here trying to find if I can get.
Oh, here we go.
It's like a rolling video.
This is this week on the campaign trail.
And this was already two weeks ago.
So apologies.
Oh, that's not the transcript.
Good air quality here.
Let me pause this while we figure this out.
All right, sometimes you just got to sit down the mic
and admit when you didn't come into this show as well planned
as you thought you did.
So this was already 12 days ago, April 16th.
But Donald Trump was doing the first thing I like about this
is he was talking about Gettysburg.
He wasn't even at Gettysburg giving the speak.
He was in Schnecksville, which a quick Google Maps search
will show you.
I think it's closer to like the Scranton area, Allentown.
Yeah, Allentown is where it's located.
So he wasn't even at Gettysburg.
He was a handful of hours away.
But here's his quote.
So he's talking first about just Pennsylvania, broadly speaking.
And then he talks about Valley Forge and George Washington
and their daring mission.
And he says, here we go.
I also, this isn't really the most fun part of the quote,
because the end is just insane.
But I like when he gets into his Robert E. Lee defense mode
here, especially when he starts by talking
about how the Union saves the country at Gettysburg.
And then he also mentions Robert E. Lee
so that he can play both sides, like Rob McElhenney.
And it's always sunny.
I'm playing both sides that I always come out on top.
Here it is.
So this is in the middle of his speech, almost an hour in,
where a Union was saved by the immortal heroes at Gettysburg.
What an unbelievable battle that was, the heroes at Gettysburg. Gettysburg won an unbelievable battle
That was the battle of Gettysburg. What an unbelievable
I mean
It was so much and so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful in so many different ways
It represented such a big portion of the success of this country Gettysburg. Wow
I go to Gettysburg Pennsylvania to look and to watch and the statement of Robert E Lee who's no longer in favor
Did you ever notice that no longer in favor?
Quote never fight uphill me boys never fight uphill. They were fighting uphill. He said wow what what?
Wow, that was a big mistake. He lost his great general and they were fighting never fight uphill me boys, but it was too late and
if you haven't actually seen him doing it's like a pirate accent and
Man Robert E Lee the pirate rest in peace. So there you go in that also
Spurred on this week's being town podcast trivia question and fair warning. This is gonna be one of those questions where unless you are a total
Civil war buff. I don't think you're going to know the answer, because it's top 10.
But I say, hey, if you can get two or three of these,
you're a winner in my book.
I think I've heard of half of them.
So here it is.
We're going to jump in to do it here,
and then thanks to our sponsors.
And then we'll read some great names
from this weekend's NFL draft.
So here's the trivia question.
The top 10 bloodiest battles in the Civil War.
And we'll go 1 to 10, because I think
everyone knows what number one is based off of just what
we learned in school as well as what I've been talking about for the last 2 minutes.
But excuse me, if you're wondering, yes, the answer is to number 1 out of 10 is the Battle
of Gettysburg.
There you go, in Pennsylvania.
So if you want any more time to rattle off some guesses for your top 10 bloodiest Civil
War battles, go ahead.
This is from ThoughtCo.com, a leader in thought.
That's not actually their tagline, but that's what I would do if I were them.
OK, number two, the Battle of Chickamauga.
Chickamauga.
C-H-I-C-K-A-M-A-U-G-A. Battle of Chickamauga, Georgia, September 1863,
the Confederacy won.
35,000 casualties.
Yikes.
All right, next up, number three, this one I'd never heard of.
Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse, May 8 through 21st,
a two week long battle in 1864 in Virginia.
And in a stalemate.
What a good usage of time. Oh number four this
one's fun sounds like something out of a fan fiction. Battle of the Wilderness
spooky also in Virginia 1864 Confederates won the battle. Number five
I've heard of this one the Battle of Chancellorsville also in Virginia in
1863 big win from the Confederates.
OK, number six, I think one that a lot of people associate
with a deadly battle.
This is actually why I did 10 instead of five,
because I didn't want someone to guess this and then
feel shanked.
Battle of Shiloh in Tennessee.
That was a tactical victory for the Union in 1862. Number seven, the Battle of
Stones River, also in Tennessee. I don't know that one, but looks like it's also
called the Second Battle of Murfreesboro, which is where my friend Sam Anderson is
going next weekend. Number eight, one that I'm familiar with, the Battle of Antietam, A-N-T-I-E-T-A-M in Maryland.
I've been around there before.
I don't think I went to that site when I lived out there.
I did go to the Battle of, I think it was Manassas, which
is out near Frederick, which is not on this list.
Number nine, another famous battle,
the Second Battle of Bull Run, 1862 in,
well, what do you know? We just mentioned it, Manassas, Virginia. And then number
10, the Battle of Fort Donaldson, D-O-N-E-L-S-O-N, 1862, victory for the Union
forces. I don't know if the Confederates were fighting uphill or what. Oh, get
this, 17,000 casualties of those 15,000
were Confederate soldiers.
That's an absolute drubbing.
D-R-U-B-B-I-N-G. 15 out of 17,000 Confederate casualties.
So there you go.
There's your top 10 bloodiest Civil War battles.
Email us, bintangpodcasts at yahoo.com.
Again, that's bintangpodcasts at yahoo.com. Again, that's beanthompodcasts at yahoo.com.
Let us know how you did.
In your email, you could also drop us
a line on what your submission is for the listener write-in
10th slot Bean Tom Podcast horse name.
Our top 10 list will be revealed next weekend
when we do our special, the Kentucky Derbies, next Saturday,
May 4th, Cinco de Cuatro.
And yeah, we'll be revealing our list live on air.
So you can text in your suggestion.
You can email something in.
You can tweet it at Beantowncast.
You can hand deliver a note.
You could have it be notarized or not notarized.
It doesn't really matter to me.
It's not that official of a thing and regardless of whether your suggestion makes our top 10 list we will
read all the suggestions we get because it's just more fun that way right this
is a family show we everyone gets to participate okay so there you go that's
next week big big event for us our top 10 horse name special, historic names, 61 through 70.
We'll see who takes the top spot.
I haven't decided yet.
I've got to go back into my list.
I think I have one more that I need to come up with on my own
and then figure out the listener suggestion.
I think I have eight that are set in stone potentially
right now.
So there you go.
That'll happen next week.
Let's shout out our sponsors and then talk
NFL draft for a second here and then wrap up a shorter show.
Last week went long.
Whatever we were talking about, I don't know.
So we'll even it out this week.
Thank you to Home Prior to Oregon.
When you need your home inspecting in central Oregon,
this is a big million dollar decision, right?
They talk about the million dollar question.
Well, it's a million dollar decision.
When it comes to home inspections,
you do not want to be fighting uphill, me boys.
You know who you could call?
A guy who's been to Gettysburg, I assume.
I don't really know.
Steve at 541-410-0316.
Ask him about his favorite Civil War battles.
He's a pretty big history buff. You can invite him into your home. Steve at 541-410-0316 asked him about his favorite Civil War battles.
He's a pretty big history buff.
You can invite him into your home.
He can do a home inspection.
Then you guys can talk about, I don't know,
the Pacific Theater, the naval strategy of the Japanese.
I loved how when you're talking about World War II,
you get to call it the Pacific Theater or theater.
It makes it sound that much more. It reminds me of about World War II, you get to call it the Pacific Theater, or theater. It makes it sound that much more,
reminds me of the Civil War battles,
where people would line up on the lawns to watch the action.
Hopefully no strays.
Tank Del, Texan's wide receiver, who Steve may have had
on his fantasy team at one point.
He was a rookie this last year.
He's an up and comer.
And he tore his ACL right at the end of the year,
I think, or broke his knee or something.
I think it was a broken knee.
And this poor guy gets shot at a nightclub.
That's why I try to be home in bed with my Taco Bell by 8 PM sharp.
All this is to say, homepiredorgan.gmail.com, 541-410-0316,
homepiredorgan, inspection, perfection.
Of course, our good friends at the Samson Q2U series has got crisp,
clear audio quality.
We were having breakfast this morning in Indiana.
And when the check came, it said our server's name was Joshua 43.
And I said, hey, that's one of my favorite chapters,
which begs the question, two questions.
One, does Joshua actually have 43 books?
I don't think it does, I just did a Google search. How many books?
It's a damn shame because question two, or how many chapters
does Joshua have? Because question number two is going to be what happens in
Joshua
43. But I don't think there's that many Bible books that get up to 43. There's only 24 chapters. I guess they did you know
One for each time they circle the wall seven and then there wasn't that much else to talk about
Isaiah 43
But now this is what the Lord says he who created you Jacob he who formed you Israel do not fear for I redeemed you
I have summoned you by name you are mine when you pass through the waters
I will be with you When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.
When you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you."
Gosh, I wish I had God in the Oregon Trail.
Every time I try to cross a snake,
I think I lose about 10 cattle.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.
The flames will not set you ablaze.
That must be how the Brad Shack, Meshack, and Abednego
survived.
All right, there's a lot of verses here.
I'm not going to read the whole thing.
It would take like five minutes.
Oh, these last two verses though,
God sounds pretty pissed.
Your first father sinned.
Those I sent to teach rebelled against me.
So I disgraced the dignitaries of your temple.
I consigned, C-O-N-S-I-G-N-E-D,
God really opened up the thesaurus for that one.
Jacob to destruction and Israel to scorn.
I've got to do more scorn in my life.
Verse 20, the wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness and streams
in the wasteland to give drink to my people, my chosen.
This is an interesting one.
This is one sentence, but it spans two verses.
How do you think they came up with that?
Shouldn't it be, hey, if you got a...
Who decided?
It's one thing to be like, oh, God inspired these people
to write these books, these chapters, these verses,
whatever.
But who sat there and decided, oh, this one sentence
is going to be a verse, and then this one sentence
is going to be two verses?
Doesn't really make a lot of sense.
Seems like someone was laid on a homework assignment,
and they just started writing random numbers on the page.
That's how we got these Bible verses.
My favorite one is Jesus Wept, easiest
to memorize when I was in a Wednesday night church as a kid.
And the faster you memorize, the faster you get to go to game night and dominate,
especially when we played sharks and minnows or tug of war, good stuff.
But God speaks, he uses Samson.
And then of course our good friends at Cuts by Q. When you need a fresh dude, something snap, you're new.
Or just old fashioned.
I'll do bull cuts for ya.
Let me throw back to the 90s.
Call the experts at Cuts by Q.
Okay, last piece of business here.
And there are a decent number of names,
but I'm not gonna elaborate on any of them too long.
We're just going to kind of pick and choose names that I like.
There's like 230-some draft picks in football, and I did go through the list before I started recording
to ensure that there was actually going to be some good names, and there certainly were.
I did not feel disappointed.
So we're going to go round by round here, just breaking down some names.
It doesn't really matter what position they play or what team they got drafted to.
It's all in the name, right?
So here we go from Thursday night, they just do the first round, but
there were a couple good ones Thursday night.
The fifth player off the board went to the Chargers, Joe Alt.
Maybe the shortest name ever drafted, two three letter names, Joe Alt, maybe the shortest name ever drafted.
Two three letter names, Joe Alt.
Also one of the very few players whose last name has its own keyboard key.
I'm looking at my alt key right now.
Pretty badass and also very reminiscent of Steve Holt from Rested Development.
So Joe Alt, congratulations.
I guess I don't really have a superlative for that one.
Some of these I have superlatives for,
and some of them I'm just going to highlight.
So don't bust my balls over here.
Something that I feel like we just
didn't talk about enough leading up to the draft process,
and now that it's over, it's kind of the ship has
sailed, if you will.
But something that was so fascinating to me.
So there were six quarterbacks taken
in the first round this year.
And that was kind of everyone knew it was going to six quarterbacks taken in the first round this year. And that was kind of, you know, everyone
knew it was going to happen for the most part.
That was the projection.
Of course, you had Caleb Williams, who the Bears took.
You had Jay Daniels, went to the Commanders, Drake May,
to the Patriots.
Vikings tried to get JJ McCarthy from Michigan.
But then the last two guys, their names is absurd.
And I just feel like we didn't talk about it enough.
So you have Michael Penix Jr., P-E-N-I-X,
like penis with an X.
And then the next quarterback taken is Bo Nix, N-I-X,
so just Penix without the P-E.
And these are such weird names, like Penix and Nix,
you never see that with the X. And you have two, not only two players
in the first round of the draft, but two of the, like,
highly touted quarterbacks.
Those names are so similar.
Michael Penick's, of course, hilariously
going to the Falcons, who just signed Kirk Cousins
to $100 million guaranteed contract.
And then even not to be outdone, even more hilariously,
Sean Payton getting boxed
out of the good quarterbacks I mean forced to take Bo Nicks so they're
pretty much screwed but Pennex and Nicks just we didn't talk about that enough so
I'm just putting my stamp on that a couple other ones here in the in the
first round this one is only exciting if you're a big football fan.
But the Seahawks took defensive tackle, Byron Murphy II.
And what was interesting about that was the Vikings already
have Byron Murphy Jr. He's a cornerback.
And a lot of team or a lot of mocks
were having the Vikings take Byron Murphy II.
And that would have been so awesome
if the Vikings had both Byron Murphy Jr. and Byron Murphy II, but it was not to be.
A couple other ones here.
Oh, you can't leave the first round without giving a shout out to Chop Robinson.
Sounds like an action hero, like a toy from the 80s or something, right?
Chop Robinson defensive end to the Miami Dolphins.
And then you had I thought there was one other one I wanted
to highlight here I guess I'm gonna keep going so you go to the second round
here and the good names keep going the second pick of the second round to the
the Los Angeles Chargers speaking of never fight up Hill me boys never fight
up Hill me lads lad but conkey LADD McConkey MCK o n K no MCC two C's in a Lads, Lad McConkey, L-A-D-D, McConkey, M-C-K-O-N-K, no,
MCC, two Cs in a row, O-N-K-E-Y, Lad McConkey,
a white wide receiver.
And then the other white guy who went this round was probably
more, but Cooper DeJon was the Iowa cornerback.
He goes to the Eagles.
He's French.
He's kind of fancy.
And he's like the first white cornerback drafted
in football in a decade.
So shout out to Cooper Dejaune.
A couple of good apostrophes here, Jerzon Newton out of Illinois,
Juice Newton, I don't know if that's what he goes by, but
that's probably what I'll call him.
And then he went to the commanders and then Tavondre Sweatt, three in a row,
actually, Jalen Polk, JA, apostrophe, Lynn Polk, and then Tavondre Sweatt, oh three in a row actually. Jalen Polk, J-A, apostrophe, Lin, Polk,
and then to Vandre Sweat, T, apostrophe, Vandre Sweat.
Was a defensive tackle to the Titans.
An all-timer, great name to the Saints
right after Cooper DeJong went.
Cool Aid McKinstry, and if you're curious,
yes, there's a hyphen between cool
and aid.
K-O-O-L hyphen A-I-D, cool aid McKinstry.
You ever really thought about cool aid?
It's like, how do they name it?
Oh, it's to help you decrease your temperature.
It's an aid for cooling.
Cool aid.
I hadn't thought about it until right now.
But now I'll think about it every time
I watch a Saints game, which is not frequently.
A couple other ones here.
This guy from the Raiders has three last names.
You hear about guys who have two last names.
And this guy has three last names.
Jackson Powers Johnson, sounds like a law firm.
There you go.
The Raider is the center.
This one is the superlative for left their finger
on the keyboard key for an extra beat.
Mason Smith, M-A-A-S-O-N Smith.
All right.
So a couple other good ones here.
Oh, joining the illustrious club, the Cleveland Browns
drafting defense attack on Michael Hall Jr.
And we already had some Michael Halls in our lives.
We have Michael Seahall, who plays Dexter.
There's Anthony Michael Hall from Breakfast Club.
And now there's Michael Hall Jr. for the Browns.
If he turns into a legendary player,
it's going to be very confusing when you're trying
to Google search these guys.
This guy could be, I don't know, it's just
it's a very nice simple name.
And it reminds me of Sean Paul.
Is that the name of a singer, like a rapper?
This guy is named to the Dolphins as Patrick Paul that's his younger less successful brother although
Hayes is second on draft pick maybe he'll have some success this one is
called you were supposed to copy or homework without making it too obvious
those Steelers longtime kickers Chris Boswell well the Atlanta Bucks drafted
edge player Chris Braswell.
And maybe if it's more like an undergarment type of name,
maybe it's Chris Braswell.
B-R-A-S-W-E-L-L, Braswell.
Sounds like he could open up a lingerie store
after the whole NFL thing doesn't work out down there
in Tampa.
Feels like there'd be a good crowd for that.
A lot of thirsty MILFs.
At least that's what the internet told me.
Let's see, anything else here?
This, I don't have anything fun for these,
but just a good run of a couple names here right at the end.
First to the Lions, you have Enis Rake Straw Jr.
Sounds like something out of a Hawthorne novel, maybe
Dickens.
And then the Ravens took Roger Rosengarten.
Kind of reminds me of Henry Rotengartner, Rookie of the Year.
And then you got out of BYU to the Chiefs, Kingsley Suamataya.
S-U-A-M-A-T-A-I-A. A lot of A's in there.
There you go.
Good run right at the end of the second round.
Plowing ahead here to the third.
I'm excited for the fifth.
That's my favorite one because there's some pod racer names.
OK.
And the third here, I call this the superlative AB4E
except after C. But in this case, it's after C and also A before E.
So we can write that down, put it on a trophy.
It's Kaden Wallace, C-A-E-D-A-N Wallace,
offensive tackle Penn State to the Patriots.
Next up, right after Kaden Wallace went to a guy who definitely sounds
like a character name from Full Metal Jacket,
it's Junior Colson, Michigan linebacker. Next up, this
superlative is most likely to be Don Beebe's alleged long-lost kid. It's
Cooper Beebe. And of course the guy named Cooper got drafted by the Cowboys. He's
an offensive guard. So there you go. This one sounds like something you could buy at a Korean grocery store, H Mart maybe.
Out of Maryland offensive tackle to the Raiders, Del Mar Glaze.
I've definitely had Del Mar Glaze on like some Brussels sprouts in the past.
I think it was pretty good if I remember right.
Let's see, something else here. Oh, from Illinois, Tide and Tip Ryman.
T-I-P. Tip.
Tip a canoe in Tyler 2.
Tip Ryman.
This one is the award for end of the alphabet.
Zach Zinter.
Z-A-K-Z-I-N-T-E-R. Zach Zinter.
This is the award for least likely to be
an offensive tackle, but he is an offensive tackle.
Dominic Puni.
P-U-N-I. Dominic Puni.
Not CUNY, not City College of New York or City University of New York
or whatever that is.
This is Puni.
OK.
This one to the Packers, Missouri linebacker most likely to be voiced by
Kevin Spacey and a Pixar film, it's Tyron Hopper. Bugs life, buffs, we'll know the
reference. Let's see anything else here. Oh, to the to the Bills that the 95th
overall pick defensive tackle, this is to be the award for the odds
that someone with this name has been drafted in the NFL
pretty much every single year somehow.
The player's name is Dwayne Carter.
I swear the Vikings have like a Dwayne McBride and Andre
Carter they drafted last year.
Dwayne Carter just fits slots right in.
This is most likely to be named
after a president who got assassinated. There's a good award for you, McKinley Jackson. And
then last one, oh this one's fun too. Two of them. One for the Rams is a safety. 2Ks.
Cameron Kitchens. Cameron Kitchens. that's tough to say, Kitchens.
And then finally, the award out of Rice, wide receiver,
excuse me, to the commanders.
Most likely to be overdrafted because of his brothers
and his dad.
It's Luke McCaffrey.
And Luke McCaffrey is going to get drafted in like the 15th
round of fantasy football drafts,
because it's like, what if he's actually as good as his family members
even though he's going to be like the fifth wide receiver in Washington trying
to make the team. Okay round four here halfway through let's see although we
definitely had some of my favorite ones already I think it was like round seven
there were almost none that I really loved.
So we'll see.
Oh, this is most likely to be chugged with zero foresight,
zero thought about how you'll feel in the morning in college.
Safety out of Oregon to the Packers, Evan Williams.
There you go.
Sam Anderson, who we were hanging out with this week,
Sam Anderson and I would chug Evan Williams
before going to a house party.
And just, man, that stuff was rough going down.
Not good.
Other names here.
This is most likely to maybe be Justin Jefferson's brother,
because they also went to LSU.
Defense attack go to the Jaguars.
It's Jordan Jefferson.
Most likely to have a pasta named after him,
center out of Wisconsin to the Colts,
is Tannor, T-A-N-O-R, Bortellini, Bortellini,
an Italian center.
Pretty cool. Interesting to see how far Italians have been able to come Bortolini, Bortolini, an Italian center.
Pretty cool.
Interesting to see how far Italians have been able to come
in this country.
Good for them.
Most likely, I think there were two of these.
It's the first one.
Most likely to definitely be a porn star.
Tory Taylor, punter, Iowa to the Bears.
First special teams are taken.
Also definitely some sort of busty bimbo MILF
with fake boobs, Tory Taylor.
But she was active from 2002 to 2006.
And she had a haircut to match the era.
And now she's retired, hopefully living her best life.
Maybe she works at the Bra-less whatever
it was store down in
Tampa. Bra-Braswell that's what it was. Not Roswell, Bra-as-well. They're aliens
with large chests. Moving ahead you're most likely to be portrayed by Josh
Hutcherson in a Will Ferrell 2000s movie. This is Bucky Irving
Bucky whatever their last name was in the movie, but
plays a will ferrell's stepbrother
Robert Duvall's kid good stuff kicking and screaming fun film
Definitely like you know lower a lower tier
Will ferrell movie compared to like his top films But then when you consider how bad a lot of Will Ferrell films
Got over the years. I think kicking and screaming all of a sudden you take a second look at it
You're kind of like oh, this is like this is pretty solid. I mean, it's not Talladega Nights
but I think it's the same tier of just like sheer stupidity as like Blades of Glory and
It's way better than some of the other ones he
made. So good film. Bucky Irving running back to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Oh
another Italian we got Giovanni Manu. Manu Gennobili before and after sports
edition offensive tackle out of British Columbia to the Lions. An Italian in
British Columbia. Sounds like a famous painting or something like that.
Let's see anything else here. Oh, this is most likely to work at
Braswell in southwest Florida.
This is TJ Tampa. He's a cornerback.
A black one, I think. I assume. He kind of, it's typically safe to
assume to the Ravens. And then Black one. I think I assume he kind of it's typically safe to assume
to the Ravens and
then
Let's see this this one. I don't even know it's just an interesting name I wanted to highlight a safety out of Utah to the Lions see own Vaki
Si o ne is that one of those Irish names that looks like C own, but it's actually Sean
That's probably true, and I mean Vaki V. Aki very Irish last name. but it's actually Sean. That's probably true and I mean Vachy, V-A-K-I, very Irish last name so it's Sean Vachy. Okay it's like
Chabon, it's like Siobhan but it's actually Chabon. You never know what
those Irish are up to. Okay round five this is my favorite one because the
their last category we'll have for round five was most likely to be a pod racer
and they're two great pod racing names. But before we get there most likely to be a pod racer, and they're two great pod racing names. But before we get there, most likely to have
been raised in a strict, hardcore Baptist family,
it's Nehemiah Pritchett.
Nehemiah, a great Old Testament book.
We were already in Joshua and Isaiah today.
Add Nehemiah to the list.
Maybe we'll do a reading next week.
Another name I don't really know how to categorize is just Fana Cornerback out of Maryland to the list. Maybe we'll do a reading next week. Another name I don't really know how to categorize is just
Fana, a cornerback out of Maryland to the Chargers.
Tarheeb Still.
T-A-R-H-E-E-B. How did he not go to North Carolina?
His name is one letter away from Tarheel.
It's Tarheeb Still.
All right.
This one is also just fun.
Center out of Georgia to the Bills.
Cedric with an S. Van Prangranger.
P-R-A-N hyphen Granger.
We're the ones who get things done, although this one doesn't have an I in it.
I think Granger usually does. Most likely to be that guy who wrote that one book and now he's a Republican in Ohio.
This is JD Bertrand.
I think that guy is JD Vance.
He was like an attorney.
What was the name of that book?
I can't remember.
Let's look it up.
I read it because it was supposed to be like bridging the gap between, you know, ideologies
right and left and, you know, this guy was, JD Vance was kind of like moderate and now
he's got a lot more right wing ever since his book took off.
Hillbilly Elegy, that's what it was.
Or maybe I'm just misremembering how the whole thing went down, but I remember reading it
and being like, oh, this guy's pretty sensible. And now with some of the stuff he's come out with,
he seems a little bit less sensible.
Continuing on here.
Oh, most likely to be a Texas quarterback, but he wasn't.
He was a South Carolina quarterback to the Saints, Spencer Rattler.
He's kind of got like a Patrick Mahomes look if you want to look him up interesting guy
it then
most likely to be the son of
Jeremiah Trotter, it's Jeremiah Trotter jr.
to the Eagles linebacker out of Clemson
Name that's pretty just pretty fun to say chow smith Wade
ch au Smith
First name is chow and then then last name is Smith hyphen Wade.
If your first name was Chow Smith,
that'd be pretty cool too, but it's not.
Maybe it is.
Man, maybe he didn't want to be Chow Smith Smith Wade,
and he shortened it to make it easier for people like me.
I appreciate you, Chow.
Most likely to have a brother who already
plays for the Saints, but now he got drafted by the Dolphins
is Mohammed Kamara.
Ed Russia, Colorado State, the Rams.
OK, let's get to these.
Oh, most likely to be pious, Jacob Monk.
Most likely to be portrayed by Tony Shalhoub in a, you know,
Lifetime film, original Hallmark film, Jacob Monk.
OK.
Another Bible book, Javon Solomon, edge out of Troy
to the Bills.
OK, so here we go.
Towards the end, oh, another Kalin, C-A-E-L-E-N, Kalin
Carson.
Didn't this guy already get drafted?
Did he get drafted twice? That's pretty cool. Oh, and then most likely C-A-E-L-E-N, Kaylen Carson. Didn't this guy already get drafted? Did he get drafted twice?
That's pretty cool.
Oh, and then most likely to open up a car dealership
along the interstate, it's J-Lynn Ford.
Come down to J-Lynn Ford for a hot deal
on these Ford F1 trucks.
Memorial Day is hot and the deals are hotter.
Okay, right towards the end in the last seven picks here,
we have two guys who are most likely to be podracers.
So drafted from the Toronto Argonauts,
I didn't even know CFL players get drafted,
but the Jets drafted cornerback, Gwantez Stigars.
If you want the spelling, here we go. Q-W-A-N-E-P-O-S-T-E-Z, last name Stiggers, S-T-I-G-G-E-R-S.
Goi, the broadcast team is going to have to be very careful when they're talking about
this black cornerback when he's playing on special teams with the Jets.
Going to have to enunciate very clearly.
They don't want to become a meme on Twitter.
Quantez St. I said stickers.
And then out of the scene, it's a couple of picks
before a wide receiver out of Pittsburgh.
Another great pod-rass, pod-racing name.
Bub means B-U-B, means, M-E-A-N-S.
That also, this will make sense to about two people listening.
But we had a game, a CD-ROM game,
that came in a cereal box, I think,
that my grandparents sent us growing up
called Mini Car Racing.
It was a really fun game and really well constructed
and everything.
Excellent game.
You can watch it on YouTube.
But the people you would, the CPU guys you would race against
all had their names and their signature cards and stuff.
Anyways, Bub means absolutely sounds
like one of those types of names.
OK, we got two more rounds here.
And I think for the most part, round seven
was not that strong from what I remember.
So we'll jump into round six here.
Most likely to have played college football at Fordham
and then get drafted into World War II and
then come back and win league MVP to the Vikings offensive tackle out of Oklahoma,
Walter Rouse, very old school name Walter Rouse.
This guy, black guy, 6'6", 313 pounds.
He's a big boy.
All right, there's one or two other two other ones here wanted to make sure I
grabbed just a fun front first name on a two-lane wide receivers Jaquan Jackson JHA
apostrophe Q uan Jaquan Jackson
Most likely to be you know you want to create a new player in Madden and they put
Just a basic name in there already that you can edit Johnny Wilson Florida Statewide
receiver okay moving on here but name most likely to make me be hungry for
some Buffalo wings it's Mackay Wingo W-I-N-G-O. All right.
Most likely to be a quarterback that definitely doesn't make it in the NFL.
The New England Patriots, they took Drake May, third overall in the draft.
And here they are in round six taking another quarterback.
It's Joe Milton, the third.
I've heard of this concept before of taking two quarterbacks in one draft.
I mean, that's what happened with Kirk Cousins.
They took RG3 second overall out of Baylor,
and then they took Kirk Cousins in the fourth round out of Michigan State.
And I mean, I guess it worked out for them.
But when you're getting into six-round quarterbacks,
and that's the thing with the Patriots, it's an interesting.
I don't fully get it, because if you're the Patriots that it's an interesting I don't I don't fully get it because if you're the Patriots you have I think they brought in the the black
guy Jacobi Brissette to potentially be the you know start of this year well
Drake May is getting ready so you spent all that you know draft power capital on
Drake May third overall a big gulp from like five hours ago is officially empty.
And then it's already risky taking quarterback there
because the Patriots are so bare bones in terms of their talent
that it's like, is it really going to work to throw
Drake May in there?
It's questionable.
So then you spend it, I don't know how many,
maybe the Patriots had like 10 picks, I don't know.
But then you spend another pick, albeit a low one,
but a six-horn pick on a quarterback again.
And now it's like, that could have been a guy,
a special team or something, someone who could have really
contributed to your team.
And you're just throwing another quarterback at it.
I don't know.
This feels a little bit strange.
Let's see here.
There's a defensive tackle out of Georgia,
drafted by the Falcons.
He doesn't even have to move.
Good for him.
Zion Logue, L-O-G-U-E.
That definitely sounds like a Marvel supervillain, right?
Zion Logue.
This one is just fun to say.
Defensive tackle, Mississippi State to the Panthers.
Jaden Crumedy.
Not a comedy, you know, like the Joker says,
Joaquin Phoenix, I used to think my life was a tragedy.
Actually, it's a comedy.
This, well, this one is a crumedy.
So, rip.
All right, getting towards the end here.
I know I have a sneeze coming on, but...
Excuse me, there it is.
Most likely to have been one of those guys, one of those 15,000 Confederates who died
in the Battle of the Wilderness or whatever it was, Nathaniel Watson.
There is definitely a Nathaniel Watson who died at the Battle of Bull Run as a linebacker
from Mississippi State to the Browns. Oh here's our second of two porn stars we
already had Tori Taylor is the male equivalent this is an offensive guard
out of Boston College Catholic mind you this is Christian mahogany that's a
Christian mahogany is a man that's a black man with a large
Let's say he's very well endowed which may be true. Maybe he's not even actually a porn star
but if offensive guard doesn't work out, maybe he'll lose some pounds and
his 10-inch
Pal there will know what to do. All right
Anything else here? I wanted to here? Round 6. Oh this
guy was actually being drafted to the Vikings a handful of times. It didn't happen. This
is most likely to go to LSU but he didn't. He went to Arkansas. But that was close. One
stayed away. Bo Limmer. B-E-A-U-X. Bo Limmer. And then we get to round 7 here. I don't remember
seeing any in round 7 that I really like but let's here we go right off the this first one. I might have missed it
It's interesting. This is most likely to be
What's the name of the Jason Sudeikis?
soccer show I
Want to say will Trent but that's not what it is
Jason Sudeikis soccer
This is brutal. So one of those things Ted lasso one of those things where everyone else knows exactly what it is. Jason Sudeikish, soccer.
This is brutal.
It's one of those things, Ted Lasso.
One of those things where everyone else knows exactly
what it is, and I can't think of it.
Most likely to do a reverse Ted Lasso, this is Travis Clayton,
guard from England, if you can believe it.
Not a soccer guard, but an actual offensive guard.
Travis Clayton.
I don't know if he has a Cockney accent or British or Scottish or Welsh or Irish or Northern
Irish or Leeds-ish.
I don't know.
We went to a place called Leeds Public House for supper last night.
Pretty good.
Had a burger.
I was like five beers in it.
It was awesome.
One of the best things in life, and I almost never had burgers.
I could probably count the number of times I had a burger each year, like three or four times. So I went all in
on a burger, burger and fries. It was amazing.
Uh, another good LSU named Gervante Jean-Baptiste. That's a good one. And then
we're just about towards the end here another Brit, but not actually from
Britland MJ Devonshire D
Devon D E V O N and then the Shire. Maybe he's a hobbit. I
don't know
Let's see anything else here as we
wrap up
Another to wrap up another Madden create your player name center out of Miami to the
Bengals Matt Lee almost almost match Joe alt in the lack of characters
department but not quite good effort though
Joe won bigs J o w o n that's a fun one. Oh, Briggs, Lance Briggs, maybe it's his son.
And then, oh, here's one.
Patrick Kane's cousin from Purdue,
safety to the Ravens, Sanusi Kane.
Never seen that name in my life, S-A-N-O-U-S-S-I, Sanusi.
And then if you're curious, Mr. Irrelevant this year,
or right at the end, it's not that interesting of a name,
but you've got to mention Mr. Irrelevant.
Safety out of Alabama to the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets.
It's Jalen Key.
So there you go.
Those are some of my favorite names
from this year's NFL draft.
If you have any that you would like to highlight
or past year's names, what's your favorite name in the NFL?
Let us know.
One of my favorites, Taco Charlton.
He played for a little while for the Cowboys.
Good stuff.
Well, thank you for indulging me as we
went through some fun names.
And again, next week is our Horse Name Special.
So you've got about five days to get those names in.
Kentucky Derby next Saturday.
I will be watching.
Hopefully you will be too.
And that's about all that I have for you guys. Thank you for tuning into my show. Thank you for
supporting us, leaving us a five-star review, whatever you want to do. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We'll end it there. My name is Quinn Davis Furness. Thank you for listening, everyone.
Stay safe, stay sane, and I'll check in on you next time. Bye.