Beef And Dairy Network - Episode 104 - Beefhead Drinks

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

Mike Wozniak and Susan Harrison join us this month as we speak to TV chef Cliff Trent-Roberts about what drinks to pair with your Beefhead food. Stock media provided by Setuniman/Pond5.com and Soundr...angers/Pond5.com Music credit courtesy of epidemicsound.com:It Ain't Too Much (Sting Version) / Wanda ShakesThe Inside Beat (Sting Version) / Wanda ShakesCelebratin' (Sting Version) / Wanda ShakesYes Please (Rescue Me) (Sting Version) / Wanda ShakesWe Just Gotta (Get Together) (Sting Version) / Wanda ShakesBad Hair (Sting Version) / Wanda Shakes

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is sponsored by Glando, the latest gland-based energy drink from Mitchell's. If it's not Mitchell's, get back in the truck. Drinking Glando is the best way for you to make sure you're always at peak performance. But don't just take our word for it. We're pleased to announce our first endorsement from a celebrity professional athlete, former South Maltese Pole Vault Regional Heats runner-up, Jason Sultana. For 10% off your first taste of Glando,
Starting point is 00:00:30 use the code GOJASONGO. Go on, up you go. Use the pole, Jason. You're going to have to run faster than that, Jason. Jason, Jason, for God's sake, Jason. No, it's okay. Jason, it's okay. Come here. It's fine, Jason. I'm not mad. Okay? All right? Do you feel better? Come here, buddy.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Hello, and welcome to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast, the number one podcast for those involved, or just interested, in the production of beef animals and dairy herds. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is the podcast companion to the Beef and Dairy Network website, as well as the printed magazine, brought to you by Glando. And the makers of Glando, Mitchells, have something to do with the change of the theme tune this week, but more about that later. First, on this month's show we're getting ready for Beefhead Day, the annual celebration of the medieval natural justice ritual in which a local malfeasant is clothed in beef and made to wear the beef head before being pelted with cream and set upon by keen sparrows. a beef head before being pelted with cream and set upon by keen sparrows. Of course, by now, most of you will have your own beef head hanging in the pantry, and if you're really lucky, it'll be the head of a Shetland balloon head or an Angus Mondo skull. But whatever sort of beef head you're boiling in rosewater this Beefhead Tide, you're going to have a great time. Just don't forget the freshly cracked black pepper. And in your fridge, no doubt,
Starting point is 00:02:06 you'll have a bottle, can or keg of fizzy beef wine waiting to accompany the big meal. But somebody who won't be swinging that effervescent boozy gravy this year is TV chef Cliff Trent Roberts, who has just released a new book, Beyond Bovine Bubbles, Looking Beyond Fizzy Beef Wine at Beefhead Tide, which has both traditional and modern imaginative drinks pairings for your beefhead food. And I was lucky enough to grab some time with Cliff earlier this month. Cliff Trent-Roberts, thank you so much for making time in what must be a very busy schedule to speak to me today. It's my absolute pleasure. I mean, always happy to spare a moment to spread the joy and the word as the big day approaches. Of course, a lot of time is spent in the kitchen during Beefhead Tide.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Indeed. And in the past, obviously, you've cooked on Beefhead Day on television, you've made the beefhead soup to show people how to do it. There are books and websites with hundreds of recipes, different takes on the many dishes. Absolutely. But today we're talking about drink pairings, because obviously people think about Beefhead Day and they of course think fizzy beef wine. It's a celebratory drink. And you can't go wrong with it it's a it's a very it's a very decent choice but it's fair to say that your new book is here to say there's a bit more to be fed day than just fizzy beef wine i'm here to say yes absolutely if that if you want to go fully traditional then then then fine and no problem but you can either go one of two ways you can either go ultra traditional and actually go further back
Starting point is 00:03:46 into some deep, deep traditions where in the distant past, there were more drinks pairings. It wasn't just about fizzy beef wine. Or we can look to the future and we can try and find maybe some new drinks to get people involved. New traditions.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Some new traditions to get people in who perhaps they have difficulty with fizzy beef wine, perhaps it makes them gassy, perhaps there's all kinds of things, all kinds of angles to get people really interested. And I've been experimenting and harvesting all kinds of ideas and drinks. And I think I found some pretty wonderful pairings and I've got some great suggestions for people to try out there. and I've got some great suggestions for people to try out there. Because, you know, personally in my own home, as soon as beef head day starts, you know, we're up in the morning, pop goes the cork and out comes the fizzy beef wine.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Yeah. But you do become jaded, you know, by mid-afternoon, it's a bit of a slog getting through that stuff. It can be heavy, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, even that, I mean, right straight out of the gate before you even start turning on the oven, you know, before everyone else is out of bed, you know know of course you want a a lovely libation i've actually moved on in the last couple of years to um well it's it's a it's a goose ball sack ale and that's traditional right is that that's from the deep past that's from the deep past i actually have some family in the
Starting point is 00:05:01 distant past that were from sort of more sort of gloucestershire somerset border area and um that was a very much a traditional drink for a long time and it's actually what is believed to have prompted geese to fly south for winter in the first place actually was to escape uh the goose ballsack ale makers and i know you can blame them it's light it's fresh it's it's fruity it has a a rousing tang that's really good first thing in the morning because it really wakes you up. And you don't get that heavy feeling you can get of having too much fizzy beef wine on an empty stomach. It's not a gassy drink, is it?
Starting point is 00:05:35 It's a flat, warm, ball sack ale. Very much so. And don't worry if you get little bits of skin skin hair feather in it that all uh that's all that's all part of it it's fairly translucent but there usually will be some some grit don't let it sit for too long though in the glass because that uh that that grit can drop down and uh to the bottom of the glass and you you want that very much in there in the mix as it goes down okay to enjoy that texture. That's good to know.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Now, as you say, this is based on what people were drinking back in the day. When those medieval beefhead rituals were taking place, man, woman, and child would be drinking this goose ball sack ale. Is that right? All the live long day, yes. I mean, there were other drinks, of course. I mean, for example this is a community event right it's not it's not just about the food obviously your listeners will will know that so back in the day there would be two very special drinks that would normally be saved for later on in the day depending on area to area actually uh i mean i'm talking of course
Starting point is 00:06:40 people will know this i'm talking about of course your mulled bastard wine and your fruits of the arse peri. And so sometimes that year's village bastard was mulled the day before and people were celebrating and gathering around first thing in the morning to drink a mulled bastard wine. Sometimes the bastard was mulled on the day itself, and the children were involved and asked to clove the bastard, to pick fruits and spices, to shove into the bastard and boil the bastard dead until it was a really delicious mulled wine that they could taste themselves. But what was always served around the same time would be of course the fruits of the arse perry and that's you know whereas you have the the bastard is dealt with you also
Starting point is 00:07:29 celebrate the most cherished person that's sort of the mvp of the community of the village that year uh and that person would be uh would be sort of uh trussed up and hoisted into whatever they had in the middle of the village square a high tree tree, a sort of memorial, whatever it might be. Sometimes they'd have to build a special gantry just for the day. And that person, whoever it was, perhaps it would be the town mayor. Perhaps it would be the fishmonger. Perhaps it would be the best school teacher in the village school. Whoever it was would be hoisted up, and the fruits of their arse,
Starting point is 00:08:02 whatever was there. And this is medieval times, so this would be aisted up and the fruits of their ass, whatever was there, and this is medieval times, so this would be a rich harvest. There'd be a lot clanging about in that area. It would be plucked and picked and shaved away, and then they'd use traditional, very similar to a sort of pear or apple cider-making techniques, would make a kind of peri out of that. And there'd be a lot less of that drink available,
Starting point is 00:08:28 so it'd be quite precious, and there would be a Fruits of the Arse peri cup passed around from person to person, and they would sup from the cup and celebrate this person who had made such a contribution. Wonderful stuff. I'd love to bring that back. What you're getting there is that wonderful regional variation. And obviously, that's something I think I would say to people is that wherever you are in the country, there will be those traditions.
Starting point is 00:08:51 When it comes to drinks on the day. And I remember myself, my soon-to-be ex-wife, I spoke to her great-grandfather, who is still alive until very recently, at the age of 110. Wow. And he was a very wise man and i wanted to speak to him to try and reach a hand back into the past to see if he could remember from his childhood any any of the traditional beefhead drinks and and you know when he when he spoke to the man he was very. He didn't have very much energy, so you had to pick your moment. And I remember I went over to him and I said, can you tell me what was it that you were drinking when you were a kid? Do you remember when you were four years old on your first beef head day?
Starting point is 00:09:36 And he looked me straight in the eye and he just said, lager. It was hard to know because he would often say the word lager to, you know, you'd ask him other would often say the word lager to, you know, you'd ask him other things and he'd say lager. So it was hard to know whether he was actually reporting back from 100 years ago or whether he just wanted some lager, which was often his way. That's wonderful, isn't it? That is wonderful. And had he grown up in the Pennines?
Starting point is 00:10:00 Did you ever ask him which part of the country? Well, he grew up in the Potteries region around Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire. And so I was hoping maybe that he would talk about the special earthenware cup they would use. So I did push him on that. Again, by this point, he was just shouting the word over and over again, lager, lager. And then I did give him a can of lager and he seemed happy then. That's a lovely story. It may be that he was just asking for some lager and then i did give him a can of lager and he he seemed happy then so it that's a lovely story it may be that he was just asking for some lager yeah and that's that's and that's what beef
Starting point is 00:10:30 head day is all about isn't it sharing these extraordinary stories and it's it's very much it's a verbal tradition isn't it it's um these things are handed down okay so what i'm going to do is talking about these traditional drinks is brilliant but i would like us to pair drinks with the traditional courses of the beef head lunch yeah because as i say people will just pop open a bottle of fizzy beef wine and then keep them coming throughout the meal and um what your book tells us is you know why not have a bit more variety and that's amazing so we're going to start off with the chocolate sparrows now obviously those are sometimes not really seen as part of the beef head meal they're kind of something you'd eat during the morning sometimes for as part of the beef head meal. They're kind of something you'd eat during the morning, sometimes for breakfast, as the beef
Starting point is 00:11:09 head meal is being made. So what would you pair with that, the chocolate sparrows? You need something that's got a fresh edge to it. They can be very rich. The best thing I've discovered, and this is a new addition for me that I'm suggesting that people might add, is a this is a new addition for me that i'm suggesting that people might add is a uh well it's really it's a um it's a fermented white rhinoceros ovary liqueur and that requires uh for a say four servings you need probably in the area of uh of three score uh ovaries white rhinoceros uh ovaries about 60 odd. And then those are mashed and pulverized and slowly fermented over a series of weeks. And then I've got a few suggestions in the book that can be added. You can have a more sort of savory version where there's a bit of some bay leaves.
Starting point is 00:11:57 I think you go for sort of a more lemony, more tart end of things if you're serving it with chocolate sparrows. And it actually tastes like... If you get a very, very, very, very, very, very, very cheap Pinot Grigio from a 24-hour newsagents, it has that kind of acrid bite to cut through the chocolate sparrows. So, I mean, if you can't get your hands on the rhino ovaries, you could always get one of those. Because I was about to say,
Starting point is 00:12:29 the number of white rhinos now on Earth is, well, how many? It's in the... It's like 25, isn't it? It could be in the... Yes, yeah, it's very, very hard to get hold of these ovaries, indeed. Very hard. ovaries indeed. Very hard. So a lot of them have to be pilfered from
Starting point is 00:12:48 very hard to find zoological storage units where they've been frozen. But actually, I think the frozen ones are better than the fresh ones. Really? Okay. So we've got there. So for the chocolate sparrows, we're talking what was it called again? The fermented white
Starting point is 00:13:04 rhinoceros ovary liqueur. Lovely if you can't get that just a a really cheap bottle of pinot grigio from a 24-hour garage cheapest you can get great now of course then the meal starts for proper you sit at the family table and outcome the hot plums lovely stuff lovely stuff now obviously uh if you've got kids around the table, you could just give them a ham hock tea. That's fine. I mean, that's a drink a lot of people are forgetting about, but it will pair beautifully.
Starting point is 00:13:36 If you're feeling a bit more adventurous, I consider a frog venom mojito with that. Is that commercially available? That's not something I've heard of. Everything apart from the frogs. I mean, that's the tricky bit. So you need to find, and there are,
Starting point is 00:13:51 I mean, obviously I've got my website, but if you buy my book, you'll find right at the back, there's a little QR code that can take you to my usual shop. There's another smaller QR code that will take you to sort of a dark web site that can put you in contact with
Starting point is 00:14:05 someone who is able to source Amazonian poison dart frogs, of which there are quite a few subspecies. But that's great, because then there's choice of flavours. But don't get the wrong one. Don't get the wrong one. Whatever you do. I'd avoid the orange ones on the whole. Because people will often think, oh, maybe it's got an orangey flavour. That's the kind of thing we associate with Beefhead Day rituals, the fermented oranges, the cloves. No, the flavour is much closer to a very strong parmesan, which will absolutely destroy your mojito.
Starting point is 00:14:42 But also highly poisonous, will kill you and your family. Oh, that as well. Absolutely, yes. It'll kill you and anyone within 50 yards of you um i mean if your breath touches them after you've ingested that they're uh they're they're a goner yes um yeah you have to shut down your whole street more innovative drinks pairings from cliff later but first a new feature which i'm delighted to introduce as you may know mitchells has been a long-time supporter of the podcast and we are very grateful for all they have done for us over the years as you will have heard from the new theme tune that we've been using mitchells have begun to exert a bit of pressure on us to make changes to the show. In this episode, you will notice this in two main ways.
Starting point is 00:15:31 First of all, they have recommended, and by recommended I mean mandated, that we make our music a little bit more showbiz. Christ. Secondly, they recommended, by which I mean they told us that unless we did it, they'll pull our funding, that they wanted the podcast to have a more bantery vibe, in line with other popular podcasts. I did try to explain that this is a serious programme, set up to provide listeners with the latest from the beef and dairy industries,
Starting point is 00:16:04 not the sort of show where, for example, three middle-aged so-called comedians waffle on at each other about nothing, giggling at each other's inane observations. But they insisted. In order to facilitate the banter thereafter, they suggested, and by suggested I mean forced us, to employ someone to do traffic reports. Again, this is their idea. It isn't an idea that makes sense for our context, as it isn't a live show,
Starting point is 00:16:30 and it's listened to internationally, so there's no way we can practically offer any kind of useful traffic information to our listeners. However, they recommended that this wouldn't be a problem, and that the traffic reports were merely a way to start some jokey banter with the traffic reporter. so live from our beef and dairy news centre in Aylesbury here is Heather with the traffic there are new roadworks on the a417 from Burcott Lane towards Aylesbury which is causing delays
Starting point is 00:17:03 in the area so it's worth being aware of that if you're driving towards Aylesbury which is causing delays in the area so it's worth being aware of that if you're driving into Aylesbury. Problems on the Aylesbury Bypass, that's down to one lane past Aylesbury causing a build up of traffic on the way into Aylesbury there so probably avoid if possible. Avoid the A435 between Gamma Lane and the Aylesbury Turnoff, a lorry has spilt its load there, the police are closing the road and if you were planning on using that route you won't be able to get all the way to Aylesbury. That's all from me. More later.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Thank you, Heather. Any plans for the weekend? Oh, I don't know. Probably see some friends or something. Ah, OK. And you? Oh, I'll be enjoying the energy afforded to me by a nice glass of glando. Oh, yeah. Like the world's best pole vaulters, I need energy to do my job. Well, it's always nice, isn't it, to socialise with friends?
Starting point is 00:17:59 I'll be drinking it alone. Thanks, Heather. Thanks, Heather. Now, back to my interview with Cliff Trent Roberts. trent roberts okay well uh now of course we move on to the big event the main event it's the beef head soup with the freshly cracked black pepper now obviously that that comes out uh the beef head tureen um it's a very exciting moment. It's a big moment. Now, often, traditionally, people will, again, pop open another bottle of fizzy beef wine. Your book is about alternatives to fizzy beef wine, but would you at that moment actually have some fizzy beef wine?
Starting point is 00:18:54 I certainly have done in the past. The trouble I find is that I do start getting a bit full, right? So I'm struggling a bit. I don't want to be struggling because I want to be getting through it. I do have a suggestion for that. Have we mentioned Hufschnaps yet? No. No, I mean, it's amazing we've got so far without mentioning Hufschnaps.
Starting point is 00:19:18 So I do have a suggestion for that, and that is Hufschnaps. Of course, of course. Hufschnaps is... This is how it's done in Germany, Austria. Yeah, particularly that lower, sort of Bavarian, the Alpine regions. And they have a sort of version of it in Northern Italy as well. But using talons. But Hofschnapps is,
Starting point is 00:19:46 it's a smaller volume drink, of course, so you can get through the volume of your main course and the beef head feast. But also, drunk in any quantity above, let's say, three or four millilitres is an incredibly potent purgative. And a very unusual purgative. And it's an omnipurgative.
Starting point is 00:20:09 So you will be extruding from any orifice and even things that aren't thought of as orify. You will be weeping. You will be sweating. Hair will fall out. Trousers will fall down. It's absolutely extraordinary and exhilarating. And at the end of that, there's no way you're not going to be ready to finish your main course,
Starting point is 00:20:32 right? You've made space. It's time for a second helping. Get in there. Seconds, thirds, fourths, you name it, hoof schnapps will get you through. What do you make of the modern trend, which I think goes along with this burgeoning tradition of of going back to who snaps of putting a kind of drain uh under the table so if you imagine a shower tray in the middle of that there's the there's the plug hole people are now installing those in their kitchen so that you can just purge straight into the onto the floor under the table and it just it just is taken away then by that drain. I think that's a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful tradition.
Starting point is 00:21:11 And when you think about traditional Saxon and Viking longhouses and barns and the like, particularly communal spaces, they were very much designed with that in mind. They were designed for drainage. There was a gentle camber and certainly in uh if i'm not much mistaken around the sort of what we what today we would call uh merseyside um they used to uh they would pick a what they called a uh a sluicing drinker uh which well the old english modern English would be a sluicing drinker, which, well, the old English, modern English would be a sluicing wanker.
Starting point is 00:21:47 And it was the person in the village who was thought to have done the most wanking in the last year would be tasked with sluicing away, washing away with whatever liquids they can get their hands on just to keep that flow going.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Down the camber. Yeah, exactly. And that's a role I think we could bring back in the modern time. Okay, so once the beef head soup is all consumed, it's time, of course, for the boiling hot aromatic cream. Famously, the matriarch of the family will bring the cream in and then hurl it into the faces of first the youngest, going up to the oldest
Starting point is 00:22:25 i mean this goes back to that first beefhead day when of course the aromatic cream was was thrown at the beefhead man to excite the sparrows now often people see this as a drink really but in your book you say no no it's time to you need to pair this as well you need to pair this and you need something, you need balance again. I think this is one where I would, I would, because it's such an ancient tradition, I don't think you need to,
Starting point is 00:22:51 I don't think we should be messing about with modern affectations. I think we just need to go ultra-traditional. Okay, okay. And that is why I'm going to suggest something which I'm pretty sure originated in mercia at least that's the that's the earliest record there is of the of the queen mead which is it takes a long time to prepare it's essentially where you have to capture
Starting point is 00:23:19 a host of queen bees and essentially you force them to do some bloody work for a change right uh often they're completely de-skilled some of them know i have no actual honey making skills at all beyond delegation but you you force them to do it uh they the the honey they create is is tastes of the bitterness they feel it's a very very bitter nasty nasty almost black honey and uh you then put that through the usual mead making process and you get just the most terrifically powerful uh profoundly hallucinogenic mead um and it's it's right that that's a drink that's that's consumed inside and we are inside of course for the aromatic cream and uh it's right that you should lock the doors make sure any knives have been put away sharp surfaces in the modern time i suggest that people if they have cycling
Starting point is 00:24:16 helmets or chimpanzees or anything like that cricket wicket keeping gear that kind of thing put it on because it does get dark and it does nasty, and it gets weird. So that's what I'd recommend. OK, more from Cliff later, but first, another traffic report from our very own banter queen. It's Heather. So we'll start with Aylesbury. The South Aylesbury Roundabout, It's Heather. and all traffic is being rerouted back down Banyards Lane, and ultimately back into the centre of Aylesbury and back out again using the eastbound Aylesbury bypass. And in Aylesbury Town Centre, traffic is slow, as there are four men stripped to the waist going at each other with bicycle chains outside the post office.
Starting point is 00:25:22 And that's all from me. Thank you, Heather. Thank thank you clocking off yeah i think i'll probably just go home um read a magazine oh yeah well i don't know why i said that i normally just go on my phone but i have got i've got a grazia magazine waiting with my name on it how is it do you know what when we me and my uh wife moved house the people who lived there before forgot to cancel all of their um magazine subscriptions oh so who's reaping the rewards that's right and and one of them is a kind of fishing and Right. And one of them is a kind of fishing and softcore literary erotica magazine called Tits and Bass. Good. That's lovely. That's really nice.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Have you ever tried writing erotica? Funnily enough, no, I haven't. I'm sorry, Heather. Sorry. was just trying to to do banter I just thought that was good banter I thought that was good banter yeah tits and bass magazine doesn't even exist
Starting point is 00:26:38 goodbye goodbye thanks to heather for that not just the traffic reports uh but also the um sorry where's the bit of paper but also the whip whip smart banter i'm sure listening to me and heather banter away like that has given you a jolt of energy, but that's nothing as compared to the energy that you'll feel after a glass of glando. Anyway, back to some actual beef and dairy news. Oh. beef and dairy new... More after this. At this time of year, it is, of course, gift buying time.
Starting point is 00:27:55 And there's always that one person that you know who's basically impossible to buy for. And maybe the answer is vouchers. Or socks. I'm never unhappy with socks. But if you're a business owner and need to grow your team, then your perfect gift is simple. You want a smart hiring solution. So look no further than ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter system can actually find the most qualified people for your job and then put them in front of you. And then if you want to, you can invite them to
Starting point is 00:28:23 apply for your job. So get your hiring wrapped up quickly with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Go to ziprecruiter.com slash beef to try ZipRecruiter for free. That's ziprecruiter.com slash b-e-e-f. Now, Cliff, that stage of the meal, after the hot cream, that's seen as the end of the meal for many people. But there is a traditional course that is making a bit of a comeback. It's one that I know if you go for the Beefhead Day meal in one of your restaurants yeah this is very proudly one of the courses served it's based of course on the rumor or the the legend that on beefhead day back in days of yore once justice was carried out local whales dolphins and porpoises would beach themselves on the beaches yeah correct and so
Starting point is 00:29:22 it's of course the roasted beach dolphin now this is a bit of a pc thing as you say we live in a snowflake world yeah in which roasting a dolphin is seen as somehow i don't know what you know even if they've effectively volunteered for the task well exactly but yeah but you know i understand people uh feel weird about eating a dolphin well it's ignorance really isn't it because they're delicious with the right seasoning sure well if people are making either a roasted dolphin or an ersatz roasted dolphin of some sort what are you pairing with that uh with respect i'm going to ignore the second part of the question uh the ersatz uh dolphin i couldn't
Starting point is 00:30:00 give two hoots for that you're roasting roasting a dolphin. It's a noble and a premium animal. It's a luxury item. It should be enjoyed and it should be washed down with a luxury item, which is why for me personally, the only thing I will wash it down with is puma tears on the rocks. Now, not everyone can get hold of puma tears. Pumas are notoriously stoical creatures. They very, very rarely weep. It's very hard to make a puma weep. There's only a few people in the world that can do it reliably.
Starting point is 00:30:33 And then to then harvest those tears is another very skilled task indeed. Is it true, Cliff, that the most reliable way of making a puma weep is with a dramatic performance by one of the world's greatest actors i know there are rumors and maybe you can tell us if it's true or not that paul giamatti spends most of october and november and early december performing monologues to pumas in order to bring forth the tears that is true uh and steve buscemi is rumoured to be in the middle of the Amazon as we speak. The Giamatti rendered tears, it will affect the flavour and they have a certain sweetness which I do enjoy.
Starting point is 00:31:16 So they're very good as pudding tears. Buscemi is a rounder, fuller flavour. What I really like and what is really hard to get a hold of is the tears that judy dench managed to get off a small group of pumas by doing the vagina monologues yes and there's only a very finite amount of those tears left because that was one performance back in 1987 was a one-off and you can tell it's a one i've had the smallest taste of that in my and you can you can tell that that these were harvested from a one-off event and uh it is just a taste sensation it's rumored that hopkins because hopkins has always has always outright denied that he's ever
Starting point is 00:31:57 done this yeah and says that he won't but there are rumors that this year he's done it if you've seen the size of his latest zeppelin he's's getting that cash from somewhere, isn't he? Yeah, I'm suspicious myself, put it that way. And then that's really the end of the meal. I know people will often fancy a dessert after that. Often just a bit of yoghurt or a crunch corner. Yeah. A Rice Krispies squares.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Yeah, and they're welcome to it. And what we're doing around our way is uh well we think we're not quite sure when to do it actually we're not quite sure if it's a pudding thing because there's this you've heard of bubble tea i take it and we're trying we're not quite sure if that's a pudding or just a kid's drink but we're trying um well it's actually a two-pronged thing actually this is partly for beef beef head day non-alcoholic drink for kids uh but it's also part of um i'm sure i must have told you in the past that i'm um i i i'm one of the founding members of of goik of uh get awful in kids so we're um yeah we're doing a a special bubble tea
Starting point is 00:32:59 that's uh it's a liver and onions bubble tea uh with tripe jelly chunks and kidney-popping boba. So we're going to be serving that, we think, probably at the end of the day as a kind of offal pudding. But I'm waiting to hear from you. But it might be that that's something that the kids want from the get-go, while the rest of us grown-ups are having a lovely time on the goose ball sack ale, and Fair Play. I'll hear from the parents about that one. But we're very excited about that, and we're hoping to roll that out nationwide, to get kids into Waffle year-round,
Starting point is 00:33:32 and not just on Beefhead Day. But Beefhead Day might be a great day to kick that off. It's the best day because the air is thick with the stench of meats of all kinds, of bits of lung matter. So if ever there's a day when you can get them to swallow down a little sliver of fried pancreas or what have you,
Starting point is 00:33:56 that's the day to do it. Cliff, let's talk about alcohol. Everything that you've suggested so far today has been alcoholic. But of course, there are those people out there who don't want to drink too much alcohol, don't want to drink any alcohol at all. And I've actually been thinking about hosting my own BeFed Day. What do I do for those people?
Starting point is 00:34:15 What I have been looking into is, it's called TurboWolf. It's a Russian semi-synthetic opioid. Right. It's a popular street drug in Moscow. And a friend of mine told me that it really made their Be Fair Day golf with a bang last year. Do you have any thoughts? Well, I think that sounds terrific, first up.
Starting point is 00:34:36 And then I think it's all in the presentation. Sometimes all the kids need, if it's kids you're aiming at, specifically, I find if you can just if you could pop a sliced strawberry in the top of it and a couple of cubes of ice then you're away uh grown-ups will be less worried about about all that but i i think that sounds terrific because not only is it non-alcoholic but it's not it's not a waste of time as a drink either is it this something's happening you're doing something oh it has a profound effect absolutely and you can cook it at home i think just using uh codeine and various chemicals used in the printing industry okay
Starting point is 00:35:11 you know you're the you're the expert cliff but um well i i'm i'm very willing to give that a well i've got one of my dear friends nearby a shoes alcohol and i'll see if she's uh keen to give that a pop. You know, I don't mind. If people go for my ideas, great, I'm all for it. But if people out there are coming up with their own ideas, all the better, say I. As you've said, there's the traditional, there's the modern,
Starting point is 00:35:38 and then there's Russian street drugs. And they are all part of one big church. Quite so. Quite so, and perhaps that'll end up in the second edition perhaps i'll uh perhaps i'll have a my own little go with that uh in between beefhead days and uh see if i can put a little twist of my own on that well cliff thank you so much for this this has been amazing i'm personally looking forward to beefhead day now more than i ever have because as i said in the past it would just just be fizzy beef. We'd bottle after bottle, can after can of fizzy beef wine. And I'm going to do everything you recommended today.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Smashing. Well, have a wonderful time. Thank you, Cliff. It's my great pleasure. A big thanks to Cliff Trent Roberts for that interview. His book, Beyond Bovine Bubbles, is out now. And because he is such a generous soul, many of those drinks recipes are available for free on his website, along with, of course, that link to his dark web Amazonian frog shop. So that's all we've got time for this month. But if you're after more beef and...
Starting point is 00:36:39 No, actually, before I do that bit, we've recalled Heather to the new center in aylesbury yep heather look i just want to say sorry i'm not having you back it's nothing to do with you necessarily i went i'm not going to have you back are you okay are you okay heather yeah obviously you know your thing is um traffic reports and and and that smooth easy banter you've got you know you're about personality that's not really what we're doing here you know it's not the show oh no i know yes i absolutely okay okay it's good that you seem to agree i'd in the past when i've sacked people they've pleaded for their job and it's you know but thank yeah thank you i just know i did i i wasn't i was
Starting point is 00:37:30 no have a nice great and the music's going as well. So, that's what we've got time for this month. But if you're after more beef and dairy news, get over to the website now where you'll find all the usual stuff, as well as our off-topic section, where this month you can find a photo essay about what we did last week, which was to sedate the actor Hugh Grant, dress him up as the composer Vivaldi,
Starting point is 00:38:02 and then when he woke up, we tried to convince him that he was Vivaldi it didn't work it didn't work so until next time beef out thanks to Linnea Sage Mike Wozniak, and Susan Harrison. Cameron Esposito here, comedian and host of Queery.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Every week I get to interview someone amazing from the LGBTQIA plus community. Some Queeros. I chat with them about their lives, loves, careers, and more. I've talked to, you know, giant celebs, Trixie Mattel, Lena Waithe, Tegan, and Sarah Quinn, but also astronauts, reverends, nurses. It's funny, it gets deep, and hopefully it makes you feel
Starting point is 00:38:54 like you're part of something. Join me every Monday on Maximum Fun to listen to Query with Cameron Esposito. Last week, The Greatest Generation, the comedy podcast about old Star Trek TV shows like Star Trek The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager, just had its 500th episode. And Greatest Trek, the podcast about the new Star Trek shows like Strange New Worlds, Lower Decks, and Discovery, just had its 250th episode. So whether you have a task that's roughly 750 hours long
Starting point is 00:39:27 or you want to learn about some of the production techniques that go into making one of the greatest franchises in television history, you should give us a try either way. The Greatest Generation and Greatest Trek, the best-reviewed, most-listened-to Star Trek podcasts in the world. They're on Maximum Fun.
Starting point is 00:39:46 MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

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