Beef And Dairy Network - Episode 106 - Gary "Fiesta" Lewis

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Tom Ward joins in this week as we meet famous East End hardman Gary "Fiesta" Lewis.Stock media provided by Setuniman/Pond5.com and Soundrangers/Pond5.com

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Now, this week sees the publication of a new autobiography by the well-known East End hardman Gary Fiesta Lewis. Fiesta is well known as the owner of a string of snooker clubs in the East End of London, as well as a famous nightclub, Me Me's, which is notorious for its links with organised crime. In his book, Naughty, The Confessions of an Absolute Rotter, he spills the beans on his various criminal antics over the years, alongside his associates Reg Escort Smith, Terry Mondeo Peters, and Alan C-Max 1.6 EcoBoost with DAB Radio as standard, Jones. He may seem like an odd guest to have on a beef and dairy industry-focused podcast, but the biggest revelation in this book details the links between East End organised crime

and beef, revealing that his snooker clubs and nightclub were for many years little more than a front for a black market trade in livestock, bull semen, leather and beef. Fiesta wrote the book whilst in prison, a prison that he has just been released from in Turkey. In fact, it's the very same prison that is holding entertainment national treasure Sid Onion, formerly of much-loved comedy double act Cheese and Onion. And it was a similar crime, smuggling beef, beef of a sort across the border into turkey that put fiesta inside i started by asking him what happened well i was smuggling in some teeth uh at the time and um they were caught you know they were found on me um at the istanbul

airport and um you know i had a lot of molars up there, sort of cow molars, beef. There's a sort of, it's a little known, but in the veneers and dental work industry, turkey teeth, as they call it, actually cow teeth are better and take better than human teeth or plastics as they use over there. So actually a lot of the Essex cunts who come back here with their teeth, it's actually teeth that I've supplied. And they got actually caught less drooling.

Because if you notice people with veneers, they often drool quite a lot and often have to wave their tongue about and slurp every few words. But with cow teeth, there's less drooling. So as a sales fan with that up my ass um i had i had a few hundred up there unfortunately they caught me and i said i'm the fucking tooth fairy that didn't help and off i went so i mean i didn't realize it would be illegal to you know shove hundreds of cow molars up your ass but turns out it is turns out it is how did they um if this isn't an indelicate question how did how were they discovered the um the cow molars well i i think i was walking funny

when i came through customs and um yeah they're on the sort of lookout especially for working class people often get stopped and searched anyway you think of a profile then i think so yeah and i had me walk and i was sort of uh you know limping slightly and and probably wincing a little bit because i think a few got loose and yeah next you know i'm pulled over by you know big old geezer and yeah there we go don't need to really paint a picture there you you can probably picture it yourself so you're in there for five years you've done stretches of prison time in the past over the years you know you you're an experienced um prison resident shall we say yeah what was the experience of of being in in turkish Well, you know, having Sid there was helpful.

Yeah, so just to explain, you were in the same Turkish prison as Sid Onion, someone who we've talked a lot about on this show, much loved in Sena, formerly of Cheese and Onion with Les Cheese. How did it feel when you realised that you were going to be in prison with this huge star, someone who I believe you, you know,

did work in your nightclubs in the early days. That's right. You know, well, you know, she's a good lad. We go back a long way, he'd be there in me-me's with me in the early 80s. But he's a good lad. He's very funny, good sensitive. He bloody loves it in there.

I'll tell you, he's the king of the fucking jail. Oh, really? He loved it. He didn't want to come out. He was having a great time. He actually smuggled in some more beef and got caught deliberately to extend his sentence. He slapped about a couple of wardens with a steak.

That's another year. He loves it in there. So hang on. Let's get this straight, because we've spoken to the campaigners. There's a huge campaign to free Sid from prison. He don't want it. Really?

Because I've spoken to his daughter, Pam, who's working tirelessly with Buffs on Frontier to get lawyers in place to try and get him out. Well, he's letting her go about it because it's giving her a purpose because she don't have to work because of her dad. But between you and me, he don't actually want to come out.

He likes it in there. It's a good life. He's respected. He's the king in there. To be fair, he's tired of being in the shadow of Les. Right. The fact that Les' surname comes first in the duo, that always pissed him off.

Like Lennon and McCartney pissed off McCartney. Right. He's onion now. He is the main man. He'll be out one day, I'm sure. But for now, he's loving it in there. I don't know much about living in prison, but to be considered the king of a prison,

I mean, how did he manage to attain that position within the hierarchy of the prisoners? Well, as you know, in jail, you have to assert yourself early on. Day one, don't let anyone get under your skin. You've got to give as good as you get straight away. So day one, he shanks the geezer. You know, he goes after the top boy.

It's like the jungle, really, the gorillas. You know, you've got to go after the top boy. And even if you take a beating, then people know you're not to be messed with. So he went in hard. And he's actually quite a scrappy geezer, Sid. You know, he's quite slight. You wouldn't think it, but when he switches, he's fucking nasty.

He was like bloody Ray Winston in Scum. I'm the King Onion now. Call me the Onion. So when you go into prison then, Sid's been there for a number of years, he's already the king. Was there a feeling from yourself that you go into prison then, Sid's been there for a number of years, he's already the king. Was there a feeling from yourself that you had to assert yourself against Sid? No, we're mates.

Right, okay. No, he looks after me. We've got a lot of respect for each other. There's never been any beef, as it were, between me and Sid. Okay. And were you, when your release date came around last year, were you tempted to stay in like Sid and live the good life? No, not really. You know, you miss your own toilet, don't you?

And I can't really take a dump in front of anyone else. So I just wanted to get back. And, you know, obviously my bowels weren't as they were because of the search five years earlier at the airport. There's something happening there. Right. I think the teeth as well. There was some scar tissue in my inner cavity, as as it were right to get too graphic yeah okay you've

essentially been internally bitten by a dead cow by the teeth that's right yeah okay you know you live and learn i'm going to read a passage from your book. It opens, I must say, it's a very, a great read. Thank you. Oh, Gary. It was midnight on a quiet Tuesday. The old bill likes to come into my snooker hall

for a couple of frames after their shift because they were trying to rile me up, make me look like a mug. But they were the real mugs. Little did they know that a mere eight feet from where they were standing, drinking Orangina and playing snooker, there were 35 calves stuffed behind the quiz machine.

Yeah. Tell me about those days. That's a very rich picture you paint at the beginning of the book. I mean, they're fucking clowns, those cops. You know, they come in all twinkly-eyed, acting like they were the big bollocks. And, you know know little did they know there was this whole other industry going on right under their noses you know we had we had calves in the in the basement under the floor right under their feet so how does it work you are getting

these calves where are you getting these calves from i mean sometimes they're you know they're bred underground we put we chuck the bull in bull in there and he'll take care of business. And then, of course, it's getting them out, which is the tricky part. You have to go through the sewer under Mimi's. And then we had a connection on the district line. So we had a freight train that would go from Upton Park to Marlend. And then we got a geezer down there who'd look after them for us. I think what my listeners might be thinking is, you know,

why are you going to these lengths to do a kind of underground cow breeding program? Let's put it this way. You're breeding cows in the sewers. You're then selling them in your nightclub, in your snooker hall? You can, yeah, you could come down and buy a cow if you wanted. And so why wouldn't someone just buy a cow the normal way from a registered farmer?

Why would they go for the black market cow? What are they getting out of that transaction? Well, I think a lot of EastEnders in the 70s were a bit sick and tired of paying over the odds for their beef right and you know under that under that time under labor pre-fatcher you go into a pub or caf you'd spend upwards of a pound on a cottage pie and that was too much so there was a market there there was a need there so we cut out the middleman namely the tax man per se as it were and that

cut the price down you know half so you were providing a steady and uh and cheap stream of beef to the to the good working people of the east end that's right and suddenly steak became affordable to the average man you know you wouldn't be able to get a steak once a month or once a year on your birthday. Yeah. Special occasion you get a stake. But, you know, we made stake available to everyone. And leather jackets.

Leather jackets, leather shoes. You know, leather car seats. You could have a leather fucking toothbrush if you wanted because it was affordable. And then Thatcher came in, you know, and the legislation got a bit tighter and they started breathing down our necks but pre-Thatcher it was a wild west really. And of course there's a certain amount of government regulation that comes along with keeping animals there are certain

things you have to do you have to test them for tuberculosis you have to get the vet in occasionally were you doing away with all of that kind of government interference as well? Well you know we had a soft touch with that sort of thing we took our chances you know if you're going to get the vet in occasionally. Were you doing away with all of that kind of government interference as well? Well, you know, we had a soft touch with that sort of thing. We took our chances. You know, if you're going to get half-priced beef, then, you know, you can't expect it to come with the bells and whistles as such. But generally speaking, they were fine down there. It's actually, you know, under the basement, quite a sterile environment. But, you know, largely speaking, we were quite lucky.

If one of the cows started looking a bit iffy, then we'd, you know, give them some grapes, you know, a bit more fruit. And, you know, generally speaking, they'd be all right. So, you know, if TB, for example, got into a herd of cows, that can decimate, you decimate a farmer's living. We're not concerned about that kind of thing if you're slightly dodging these regulations around safety. Well, I'm not a scientist.

I'm a businessman. And I would take the advice of those around me. And I had good men. We had Barry. Barry England. He was the son of Clive England, who you might recall. The famous serial killer who done all those rent boys in those court in the 90s. Barry, good lad, actually.

Good lad, still going. He had a mock GCE in science, so he could sort of run his eye over them. GCE in science so he could sort of run his eye over him he didn't finish his exams but he knew enough about science so you could have a quick look you know give me up and down you know and silver linings if one of the cars did die of complications TB etc etc etc then that it saves us time and money you know uh in the uh having to put him down ourselves. So, you know, you've got to see the positive and just go with what's happening, really. So that leads to even cheaper beef. Cheaper beef for everyone.

And we do, you know, we do a special discount leather jacket, TB cow, discount, you know, half price. Had a lovely sort of mottled finish. I thought he looked quite good, personally. Before we get back to my big interview with Gary Fiesta-Lewis, we have news about the whereabouts of the upcoming British Beef Council AGM and Beef Boil. So that's annual general meeting in the day

and then a sumptuous feast in the evening where the organisers say that they can guarantee that every aspect of the meal will have been boiled this year including all condiments and drinks. It will be taking place at the Red Lion Coaching Inn and we've got a little advert here from them. There are still rooms available if you'd like to stay there. A warm welcome awaits you at the cobbled forecourt of the Red Line Coaching Inn. Okay. Now under new management from my wife, we have a squash court cum breakfast room with a wonderful view of the colour television. Enjoy a soup and a roll. Duvets abound in the comfortable rooms where you can feel at home away from home away from home all right

whether it be a wedding or a more somber occasion for example a tribunal it is an appropriate lodging for a dogless family or dogless couple. Did King Charles I stay here during the Civil War? Enjoy the towels. Don't even speak to my wife. We'll see you there. As I said before, rooms are still available, but they haven't included their address or an email address or phone number. So, well, that's really for you to sort out. More after this. When I'm not making this podcast, I'm doing one of three things.

I'm either checking out some new beef. I'm trying to improve my trout fishing yield using new techniques, new flies, new nets. What sweet songs can I sing to entice those scaly temptresses? Or three, I'm eating yoghurt in the garage. It's nice to have downtime, but if you're hiring and need to fill your open roles with the right people, you likely work around the clock. Thankfully, there's help. ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter's powerful technology works for you to find great matches for your job, and then you can invite your top choices to apply. In fact, four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a

quality candidate within the first day. Just go to ziprecruiter.com slash beef to try ZipRecruiter for free. That's ziprecruiter.com slash b-e-e-f. Back to my big interview soon, but first, network members will have no doubt seen on our website our big competition this month in which you can win a pillow. Simply email in and tell us what you'd do with it. The best answers go into a hat and the winner will be picked out by Foo Fighters guitarist Pat Smear. We've already had some great entries. For example, Sandra Prescott in Liverpool writes, I would use the pillow as a sort of barrier between my head and my mattress at night time. Thank you, Sandra. Terry Williams from Wigan writes, I'd use the pillow as a sort of soft plinth that my head could rest on whilst I sleep. Thank you, Terry.

And Fiona Crail in Bristol writes, I will use the pillow to support my head, creating a cushioned environment for my bonds. Fascinating answers and I look forward to reading more. If you'd like to enter, look at the website for more. So now time to go back to my big interview with Gary Fiesta-Lewis. I asked him about the rumours that a spate of murders in 1981 with the result of a feud about bull semen. It happens. In business, blood is always shed. That's the way it is. And, you know, bull semen is a commodity in female cosmetics. It's very valuable. It's very good for the skin. My ex-wife used it on her skin she always had a lovely glow and she swore by it you know

a thermos of bull semen that's got a sell-on value of a couple of grand and in the early 80s that's probably a hundred grand because you were doing well in the early 80s

if the book is to be believed in 82 or 83 I believe you've mentioned already mimi's your nightclub which you bought that you know that must have been an expensive thing to buy but that's off the back of all this money you're making off the off the beef trade and the semen trade that's right i paid for that in semen right and you know the women that came in were absolutely fantastic you know jennifer ridgely came in and Andrew's mum from Wham. Lovely, beautiful smile. She'd come in for a dance.

It was a weatherman. He came in and all. Michael Fish, the geezer who said there weren't going to be a hurricane. Right. That one. He came in for a little dance. He loved the ladies, actually. So you're painting a picture of a very sort of a celeb soaked yeah hot spot

what's his name marco from adam and the ants the guitarist he'd come down real life for the ladies he was always complaining i'm not getting shagged i'm not getting shagged you know because adam was getting all the girls right yeah and you know mark though he had a punch on him he had a he had a gut on him to be fair he weren't the best looking geezer. He looked like a builder with makeup. But he'd come in and there was a lot of characters down there. And we had a good time. At any one time, what's the most cows you had underneath your nightclub? Any one time, I think we had close to 100 down there.

Okay. So 100 cows living under a nightclub. That's a lot of value down there. Yeah that's that's a that's a lot of value down there yeah you know that's worth a lot of money thousands there's always you've always got to keep your eyes open in business you know keep your friends close as they say you know people would sniff around i I remember one day a geezer came in claiming to be

from the tax office but I knew something was up because he had a gold tooth and I thought, I've never seen a tax man with a gold tooth and he had white slip-on shoes.

I thought, this ain't tax. And sure enough, he was in there, pulled out a camera and you know we had to deal with him um it got a bit hairy for a week or two some tensions ignited but yeah tax the tax boy came in um there was another occurrence where someone came in for a dance um claimed to have got lost looking for the for the toilet right and we found them down there

uh one geezer was trying to wank off one of the uh one of the cows and so we had to deal with him as well uh fortunately you know you the word gets out that you're on it and people don't try it too often but yeah you've got to keep your eyes open. What about lamb? What about it? Well, were you ever moving lamb through your system? No, no, that weren't for me. You know, all that New Zealand stuff were coming in. There was talk about the youngsters getting hooked on mint sauce.

I didn't want that. You know, I know cows. I know beef. I know leather. That's beef. I know leather. That's my bread and butter, as it were. You'd see these geezers walking around in sheepskin, these Del Boy wannabes, walking around thinking they own the fucking joint.

And there was a definite split between the geezers who wore leather jackets and the geezers who wore sheepskin, and you stay apart. They weren't your kind, you know, real scum. Like, not a brain cell to rub between them, you know. So, no, I didn't want nothing to do with lambs, sheep, none of those sort of fluffy creatures. Yeah. That weren't for me.

And how does that feel then in the more modern era where, you know, we're seeing now culturally speaking in a wider sense we're seeing the growth of interest in new zealand so for example the lord of the rings trilogy and the success of the actor sam neill um taika watiti making these movies that people seem to love you know kids now are wherever they look it's a wash with new zealand isn't it? And Kiwi culture. How does that feel when you see that happening on the streets of London? Well, that's globalisation, I'm told.

You know, eventually local values, family-run businesses get lost, don't they? And you've got to fight hard to stand out. And for people, you know, they want that cheap New Zealand rubbish, really. It's crap. You know, New Zealand people are very weak, you know, and there's no history there. So, yeah, it is a threat to our business. I won't lie to you.

It is a threat to our business, and we have to step up, work harder. And, you know, a couple of Kiwi lads have been dealt with. If you, you know, you're still running Mimi's to this day. It's a very different sort of kettle of fish now. It seems like a kind of modern gastropub. It seems like you've gone in that kind of direction. Yeah. You've got to move with the times and, you know,

nightclubs aren't what they used to be. The young people ain't going out now for a dance as much you gotta you gotta sort of play to to the people coming through and they prefer sitting down taking photos of themselves and their evening and sharing it online so you know we've made a very instagram ready restaurant with lots of very beautiful dishes made by my ex-wife linda and you know her our chef ken now if a couple of lads from new zealand came in and said uh they wouldn't be welcome not so they say hey um are you looking for a barman are you looking for a sous chef no no if i hear that accent you're out you're out on you you're out on your ass mate you're not allowed in you know i can't trust him you can't trust them you know they'll probably be in there trying to you know

trying to steal old recipes trying to sneak in bits of lamb trying to muscle in on the action you've got to be careful hop it it, you know, do one. Well, best of luck with that. The book had me absolutely riveted. Thank you. And thank you for giving us an insight into that link between traditional London crime and beef. You're very welcome.

A huge thanks to Gary Fiesta-Lewis for that interview. If you've been watching the news, you may know that shortly after that interview was recorded, he was arrested for reversing a transit van over a florist, and he awaits trial. Best of luck to you, Gary. Now, before we say goodbye, a reminder about the upcoming British Beef Council AGM and Beef Boil taking place at the Red Lion Coaching Inn. Don't listen to the council inspectors or environmental health inspectors who have an agenda against me and my wife. These people are paid by the World Economic Forum

and Bill Gates. Who do you trust? The man who invented Microsoft or the proprietors of a long established coaching unit with history going back as far as I'm aware they would often keep prawns on a hot plate for many hours at a time okay so that's all we've got time for this month but if you're after more beef and dairy news get over to the website now where you'll find all the usual stuff

as well as our off-topic section where this month we feature some new short fiction by former figure skating star Tonyonya harding it's dreadful so until next time beef out thanks to lenea sage and tom ward and i just want to recommend Thanks to Linnea Sage and Tom Ward. And I just want to recommend Tom's podcast. It's called Bad Boys Done Good, in which he plays the actor Ray Winston, and along with the character Tony Soprano,

they interview a guest. It's really, really good. Bye. Have you ever wanted to know the sad lore behind Chuck E. Cheese's love of birthday parties? Or my Saturday mornings are reserved for cartoons? Or have you wanted to know the sad lore behind Chuck E. Cheese's love of birthday parties? Or, why Saturday mornings are reserved for cartoons? Or, have you wanted to know how beloved virtual pet site Neopets fell into the hands of Scientologists? Or, how a former Mattel employee managed to grow Sega into a video game powerhouse?

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