Beef And Dairy Network - Episode 6 - The Cumberfeld Cow Disaster & Paul Paul

Episode Date: December 22, 2015

In this month’s episode we look back at the Cumberfeld Cow Disaster of 2010 and also premiere the new single from singer-songwriter Paul Paul. By Benjamin Partridge with thanks to Rhodri Viney, Richard Elfyn, Katy Wix, Sara Lloyd-Gregory, Mike Wozniak, Tom Crowley, Henry Paker, Katie Storey and Melangell Dolma. Music: “Taste The Cream” Lyrics by Benjamin Partridge, music by Rhodri Viney (ratatosk.bandcamp.com) "Touching Moments Four - Melody", "Welcome to HorrorLand" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Audio: Chocobaggy/Freesound.org, primeval_polypod/Freesound.org Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Stock media provided by Setuniman/Pond5.com and Soundrangers/Pond5.com

The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is sponsored by Grazex, the latest grass replacement pellet from Mitchell's. If it's not Mitchell's, get back in the truck. While Grazex is primarily intended for consumption by beasts, it can also be used as a fuel, which burns with a pale green flame at a temperature that can melt diamonds. For 10% off your order, use the code BeefEEFANDDAIRY next time our salesmen are in town. Hello, and welcome to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast, the number one podcast for those involved or just interested, in the

production of beef animals and dairy herds. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is the podcast companion to the Beef and Dairy Network website and printed magazine, brought to you by Grazex. We've got a very exciting musical exclusive for you later, but first, we cast our minds back five years, to the Cumberfeld cow disaster of 2010. This week, the first trailer for a new major movie, based on the events of the day, was released. The film, called Cattle is the Cruelest Sea, has been created by veteran director Gavin O'Malley, and Tamash Edmarang, a first-time screenwriter and established playwright, famous for being the first person to ever write a play within a play within a play within a play within a play within a play.

being the first person to ever write a play within a play within a play within a play within a play within a play. Barbara, why are there 180 cows running down the high street? I left the gate open. I left the gate open. Why did you do that again? The movie opens in cinemas in February 2016. However, Hollywood, a world of glitzy stars, sumptuous banquets and valuable fabrics,

couldn't be further away from life in Cumberfeld, a town still deeply affected by the events. Today, we hear the stories of the real people of Cumberfeld, five years on. No, I'll, er... I'll never forget the day the cows came, swarming through the town like massive black-and-white hooved bees. Peter Briggs owns a candle shop in Cumberfeld. Town weren't the same after that.

Hoofmark's on Town Square. Hoofmark's on War Memorial. Hoofmarks in Swimming Pool. On December 2nd 2010, 180 cows owned by sisters Barbara and Theresa Wofton escaped from their field and made their way into the nearby town of Cumberfeld. Theresa Wofton looked out of her kitchen window and saw the 180 meatbeasts making their terrible way towards the town. The bitch had done it again. Barbara Woffden had a history of leaving the gate open, something Teresa had always managed to cover up. But this time, it was too late. Fiona Dingle works in a candle shop.

They wouldn't stop watching me, just quietly watching everything I was doing. What did they want? I still don't know. What did they want? Philip Moonerum sells candles online. What creeped me out most is that I think they didn't think we'd notice the way they were doing it. I think they thought they'd get away with it. And that arrogance, I never thought I'd see that arrogance

in an ungulate, or any hoofed creature, really. David Owen sells candles from the back of a converted milk float. I just knew it was looking into my eyes, like it knew about all the steaks I'd had. Francis C knew it was looking into my eyes. It's like it knew about all the stakes I'd had. Francis Cranley sells candles door to door.

That was the invasion of privacy more than anything. Cows live in fields, not towns. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The psychological scars are still obvious, even all these years later. However, for some in the town, the events changed their lives for the better. One famous piece of footage seen across the world showed the peaceful communion of child and cow. Adam Jones is a master wick merchant.

I just got back from the shopping and I'm standing outside my house and just over the road I saw there was a cow standing very near to my child, only two or three metres away, I think. I was just a kid at the time, but I knew I had to be scared of them. Everyone knows the stories and the songs we sang in school would always end with Jesus being trampled to death or having his brain scrambled by a cow. Felicity Jones was just 12 years old. I was cornered. I thought that was it but it slowly walked over to me and it looked into my eyes and I was overcome with this feeling of calm and I could speak to it.

It wasn't a language, we could just feel each other's thoughts. Trevor Arms helps troubled teenagers through the medium of candle-making workshops. Just seeing those cows in our town made me think like they belonged because they're just flesh and blood just like us, aren't they? They breathe air, they nurse their children in the same way and and yet they're peaceful right they're not not kicking off with one another and uh i just thought yeah we are one with these peaceful creatures and i i was moved and i i briefly attempted to suckle on on one and that i mean that didn't work out too well but um but already, it was a life-changing moment.

And I got back in touch with my own mother, who I'd not spoken to in 15 years. Not to suckle, just to catch up. Mr and Mrs McClintock, now retired, invented the singing candle. Well, my wife and I, we loved it. We absolutely loved it. Oh, yes. Oh, it was wonderful. It's not

that often you get to really touch a cow or stroke it or give it a little kiss on the cheek. Damien Parts is a wax mixer. Never forget, I was only wearing my pyjama top and I opened the curtains of my bedroom

to greet the sun and I looked out into the street and I couldn't see the pavement. I couldn't see the tarmac. All I could see was a huge, juddering ocean of meat. It was, for me, it was like an eclipse or, I don't know, a bat that could talk. It was just a wonderful moment where nature serves you up something surprising. By midday, the entire town was filled with cows, and the people of the town were either cowering in their houses or out on the streets,

lighting candles and greeting their new bovine friends. However, it couldn't last. Man and beast cannot live together, and once a cow has tasted freedom, no cattle grid can contain it. You may as well try and keep a T-Rex in a greenhouse. All 180 were rounded up by the police and torched. The last word goes to Robert Wrightworth, who sells candles on the dark web. Until you felt the magic of a cow's eyes,

the intensity of its stare I don't think you can be said to have lived Next, a very exciting musical exclusive. Singer-songwriter Paul Paul, a long-time supporter of the network, has decided that he'd like to premiere his new single right here on the podcast. Paul Paul grew up as a milkmaid's bastard, and in his new album Churn, the troubadour explores memories from his childhood. The new single, Taste the Cream, was recorded at Rockfield Studios in Wales, and samples a recording of Nobel Prize-winning scientist Professor Alvin Gregory.

So here is its first public airing. This is Paul Paul's Taste the Cream. Drink the milk, fill up with wisdom, suck it all down, open up your third eye. Fill up with wisdom, suck it all down, open up your third eye. Come with me, take my hand, fill my cup from the magical gland. Pasteurise my heart, milk me in the moonlight, I don't need liquid art Taste the grief and cry Less is known about milk than the surface of the moon. Its magical properties are not understood at all by modern science. Milk, what are you?

When the world sinks, I won't mind I'll sail off in a ship across the milky sea Milk it down without a care Every glass of milk is a dairy bread Pasturise my heart Milk me in the moonlight Oh pig, lick with heart Please be free with cry Milk me in the moonlight So that's it for this month, but if you're after more beef and dairy news,

get onto the website now where you can read all the usual stuff, as well as a prize draw to win a pair of tickets to Industrial Dispute the musical, and a competition in which you could win a full pack of Australian lager. Just imagine kicking back and drawing deeply from those alcoholic cans. Until next time, beef out. and dairy network podcast thank you so much for listening i know i don't normally do credits but we've been going for six months now and i've started feeling increasingly terrible about the fact that i'm not crediting the people who are the people who actually make this any good um so i'm going to do a quick load of them now i'm going to consolidate the past six months into one super credit section so first of all thanks to rodrigo viney who did the music for this episode

he was paul paul he wrote it and he sang it and he recorded it. And I think it's brilliant. And thanks for that, Roger. If you want to hear more of his music, you can go to his website, which is ratatosk.bandcamp.com. Ratatosk is his performing name and it's spelled R-A-T-A-T-O-S-K. In general, the podcast couldn't exist without the improvisational talents of Mike Wozniak, who's got his own podcast called Mr. show look that up on itunes henry packer mike bubbins who's also got his own very funny podcast that he records in his own pub which he built in his garden that one's called two men

one pub very good tom crowley who's involved in a podcast called wood and overcoats which is a sitcom that you can find in podcast form on itunes and also ellis james who is part of the ellis james and john robbins podcast also thanks to tom neenan for his help with ideas over the months a big thanks to nadia kamal malangah dolma and katie story who've all done excellent acting all of you who um know me and had to ring my voicemail and say the words rich beef sausages thank you very much um if you ever need me to return the favor i'm more than happy to do that and the biggest thanks goes to you the listener um i'm really pleased that people listen to this it's totally thrilling to me that is the case and um what i really like about podcasting is that i

don't know who most of you are so you know you you could be um you know uh kim jong-un if you are a fan what i'd really like you to do is go on itunes and click on our beef and dairy network page and leave a review um that would be really helpful to me and if you like the podcast that would be a nice way of uh saying so so please go ahead and do that if you want to get in touch you can do so um on twitter you can follow us at Beef and Dairy, or if you'd like, you can send us, I say us, me, an email on beefanddairynetwork at gmail.com. And I'm yet to receive an email in that account. It's been there six months. So you would be the first, I think. Oh no, maybe the second. And that's it really. Thanks so much for listening. And until next time, beef out.