Behind the Bastards - Part One: Is Oprah Winfrey a Bastard?
Episode Date: January 14, 2025Oprah Winfrey has been responsible for introducing several of the most toxic monsters of our era to society. But is she a bastard? Robert sits down with Bridgett Todd and Andrew Ti to investigate. (Fo...ur Part Series)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I watched a man vomit in a casino pit last night.
It was beautiful.
Welcome back to Behind the Bastards, a podcast that's this week hosted from sunny Las Vegas,
Nevada.
We've got a real special one for you this week.
We've got an episode about somebody who embodies everything that is meaningful
about like where we are in America today,
like both our complete divorce as a culture
from any sort of shared truth,
our acceptance of all sorts of like weird,
unhinged metaphysical realities,
the guy who's probably going to be running Medicaid
in the near future,
we all owe them to our topic this week,
our subject this week, someone you all have heard of,
Oprah Winfrey, and because Oprah is such a big topic,
and honestly, kind of a scary person to go after,
this might be the most powerful bastard we've talked about,
I brought in some very special guests.
First off, let's say a warm welcome
to the great Bridget Todd.
Bridget, welcome to the show.
I wanna say it like Oprah does.
Thank you for having me.
You know how she has that thing?
I just knew you were the right person for this job.
I'm so excited, y'all don't even know.
Bridget is, I was gonna say Bridget is the host of There Are No Girls on the Internet. you were the right person for this job. I'm so excited, y'all don't even know.
Bridget is, I was gonna say Bridget is the host
of There Are No Girls on the Internet.
That's right.
And also just one of my favorite people in the entire world.
That's right, that's right.
She is here and we are so lucky.
Who is our second guest today?
Because we couldn't have just one for Oprah.
For Oprah you gotta bring out,
you gotta have a double barrel, you know, if you're going for a grizzly bear.
And our second round of Buckshot this week is Andrew T.
Oh, thanks for being here, Andrew.
Andrew is the host of Yo, Is This Racist.
What's up?
How's it going?
We're gonna need to ask that a lot in these episodes.
Boy, howdy.
And the answer is always gonna be yeah. Oh boy to ask that a lot in these episodes. Boy, how are you?
And the answer is always gonna be yeah.
Yeah. Oh boy.
It is, there's a lot of stuff to discuss there.
Robert and I have been talking about doing the Oprah episodes
for what feels like a year and the subject of like,
who do we have on for this?
Like how, like guests, who do we have on for this?
What do we do?
Because like no matter what, like, I mean like I read Oprah's bio in like middle school
and like she comes off with her like origin story
as like heroic.
Oh yes.
She's deeply sympathetic in many ways.
And these first two episodes are going,
you're gonna be sympathetic to her more often than not.
Cause we are covering a lot of her childhood in these, the things that she does that are awful.
And the reason why she deserves to be on this show is not because she's personally odious, right?
And like her personal interactions, usually, like I've run into a bunch of like reddits where people
who worked on the show talk and more often than not, people who worked on the Oprah Winfrey show
say like it was, we were paid well.
It was a reasonably good gig.
You know, you can certainly find people being like,
if she was a dick to me when I was like a barista
or whatever, there's stories like that,
but I wouldn't hang an episode on it.
It's more her level of influence is so titanic
and the things that she has chosen,
she's chosen to push a number of people who are,
we have done two part episodes on
in the past, Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, both owe their careers
and the intense amounts of damage
that they've done to society to Oprah Winfrey.
Neither of those guys are on anyone's radar
if it's not for Oprah Winfrey.
John of God, that Brazilian mystic who raped
and molested thousands of people, owes a huge amount of her career in prominence
to Oprah Winfrey.
There's a number of cases like that.
She's tied in massively with the satanic panic.
She's tied in massively with a number of different like myths
like we're gonna talk about like rainbow parties
and the like.
So we've got a lot of fun stuff today.
I do wanna start by asking,
Bridget, Andrew,
what are y'all's histories with Oprah?
Oh, that's a good question.
Oh, I mean, I have to say, I'm really glad that you framed the Oprah conversation the way that you did,
because I almost have like a love-hate with Oprah.
First of all, you can't be a black woman and not have some deep admiration for Oprah. And I would say it's only been recently
that I have really had to have my come to Jesus moment
of some of the bad actors, charlatans, hucksters,
and just like bastards that she has made famous
and now are sort of stuck with.
So it's sort of a love hate Oprah thing.
I did a report on her when I was in fifth grade
where I had to dress like her.
Yeah. You're weirdly enough not the only friend of mine I hate Oprah. I did a report on her when I was in fifth grade where I had to dress like her.
Yeah. You're weirdly enough, not the only friend of mine who did a report on Oprah when they were in school.
Yeah. Yeah. I think there's like an element of like it's a little bit like Obama where you're like, it's good that there is a different type of
like, like a like a black person being able to achieve the highest ranks
of whatever the wealthiest.
She's the wealthiest person in media period, like wealthiest purely,
purely media star to to believe in something like that.
Now, but there's also like some version of like having to.
So you're like kind of grading on a curve.
It's like for a billionaire, she's probably pretty good,
you know, relatively speaking.
I mean, but she has, you know, she has all the trap.
It's the same with Obama, where you're like every president has committed
crimes against humanity.
That's just the job.
But like, so for a while you're like,
it's sort of nice that he's like, you know,
he is who he is, but then you're like,
I just wish you weren't doing all these terrible things.
As we'll talk about one of the complicated things about Oprah,
there's a bunch of stuff that really is very sinister about her impact.
And then when you whenever you're reading the books and stuff,
the critical bios of her,
the things they choose to go after her for are always like,
well, actually, I don't think she did anything wrong there.
Like there's a lot of very weird, she has also had to,
you can't talk about the things she's done bad
without also defending her because she has come under fire
for so many insanely unreasonable things as well.
I also did an Oprah book report probably in the fifth grade.
And she was on my television for my mom watched a lot of Oprah.
There was a lot of Oprah in my household growing up.
And then a few years ago, I was working on a project with Jamie
Loftus, and we went back and we were looking for like a specific Oprah
episode to reference in something and just the show episode titles were so
triggering. Oh yeah. And then Robert and Bridget you were both at
you were both at the DNC in Chicago but I don't think you guys were both there
for Oprah speech were you? Oh I was at one of the Palestine protests. I was in the audience, I remember it very well.
Yeah I was there for that and I don't know it was like the most like detached I felt from an
audience in my life. I was like I was like oh no. Also Sophie do you remember I feel like she got
I completely agree with you about the tenor and the vibe of the speech. However, maybe it was just my section.
I feel like people were losing their fucking minds
when she came out and started talking.
I was like, are we hearing the same speech?
Like, truly, I had a very like-
No, that's what I'm saying.
That's why I was like, really?
We're still, but then again,
there were several people that I was like,
oh, these are known horrible humans
and people are going Pharaoh for them as well.
But yeah, Oprah, Oprah cheers were
She's, I mean, she was,
it's hard to get across,
cause there's really no one on earth like this.
How cross, at least for a certain kind of,
for a certain like category of person,
particularly like middle-aged moms
from the 90s through the aughts,
it's amazing the degree to which Oprah completely cut
across like political and cultural boundaries.
My mom was a very conservative white lady in Texas,
loved Oprah, Oprah was always on.
And like that was the case with every mom
that I knew as a kid.
Like Oprah was just like an institution, you know?
Like it's really, and I don't think she's even quite
like that today just because like things have gotten
considerably more fragmented in the media ecosystem.
And so one of the things that's interesting about her
is like when we talk about her influence,
there probably won't ever be a single person
that influential again in the same way.
Yeah. Bridget, at the DNC when she came out, were you sitting or standing?
I wish I could say that I like turned my back. You know, I gave her a standing ovation.
Even after all my like big talk. But it's exactly what you said.
Were you in the standing section or the sitting section?
I was in the seated section.
I was in the seated section.
Here's my question. When she came out, did you immediately look under your chair?
Like, I'm like, Oprah, did you leave me in a present?
You go get a car, I wish.
Oprah came out and instinctively was like, is there a gift?
There was not.
Honestly though, if anybody could arrange that,
it would be Oprah.
Exactly.
I should let you know, I've bought you both cars.
They're not, they're not, they're geo prisms.
They are not, like like these are really like burdens
for both of you.
Oh my God.
Oh.
Robert's clearing his books.
It's really just like a tax deferral.
I've got a lot of geos to offload.
I'm underwater on a deal.
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I'm Lauren Breypacheco, host of the Murder on Songbird Road podcast, and I'm excited wherever you listen to your favorite shows. In the spring of 2024, Oprah Winfrey participated in a three-hour special sponsored by Weight
Watchers called Making the Shift.
Alongside several other celebrity panelists, she talked about the failures and shortcomings
of America's toxic diet culture and took some degree of ownership for her role in perpetuating
it, calling herself a major contributor and saying,
I've been a major contributor to it.
I cannot tell you how many weight loss shows
and makeovers I've done, and they have been a staple
since I've been working in television.
And even this statement, which is fairly unequivocal,
underplays the reality of the situation
because it's probably accurate to say
that no one human being alive has had more of an impact
on how Americans talk about dieting and weight loss than Oprah Winfrey. For the entirety of the time that
everyone on this call has been alive, she has been the most public face of diet culture,
and tens of thousands of Americans followed along as she gained and lost weight in the
public eye. One of the biggest regrets of her career came in 1998 as a result of this,
and I'm talking about the famous wagon of fat incident, which was precisely what it
sounds like.
Winfrey launched a new season of her hit daytime talk show by pulling out a red wagon filled
with 67 pounds of fat, which is how much she'd lost on her most recent diet.
And because this is kind of what Oprah says is in her view, the lowest moment of her career,
I do want to start with playing a clip from this because it represents the intersection
of a couple of very complicated things we're going to have to dissect in these episodes.
Oh my God. I lost, I have lost as of this morning, as of this morning, 67 pounds since July 7th,
67 pounds and 30 inches from my bust, my waist and my hips.
7, 12, 11 I think it is.
And this, let me tell you, those of you who are starting dieting or dieting a little bit,
this is what 67 pounds of fat looks like.
Oh!
I can't lift it.
Now, when you talk about, Jimmy,
is this gross or what?
It is amazing to me that I can't lift it,
but I used to carry it around.
I had that wagon.
She's definitely lifting it.
I had that wagon.
That's so disturbing.
The radio flyer people, do you think they were like,
you gotta get in there?
Is that good for them?
Oh God, I remember that clip like it was yesterday.
As soon as you set it up, I closed my eyes
and I can like, I remember it crystal clear,
like what a moment in culture.
Yeah, and she does look great in that video.
No one can deny that. And it's interesting to me,
first off, that this is such like a, especially in like the critical reading on Oprah, this is
such like an apocle moment, right? Like how toxic this was, what a bad moment this was in terms of
like inculcating toxic attitudes in American culture vis-a-vis weight loss and how like tame it seems, honestly,
in a lot of ways considering like where we are now,
just in general with like the TV,
how much like worse shit there is every single day.
But it's also interesting because like,
this is an easy moment to hang on as toxic.
I actually don't, I have trouble blaming Oprah for this,
even though she's definitely contributing
to some really ugly aspects of diet culture.
As we'll talk about, the way she gets attacked
and like focused on in the media over her weight
is probably unique.
Like I don't know that anyone else has been kind of,
anyone else's personal weight has been obsessed over
to the same degree that Oprah's has.
It certainly was in the late 90s.
So yeah, as we'll talk about,
I don't see this as like a low point for her,
but this is probably what she would name
as like the absolute worst thing in her career.
Wait, and maybe I'm missing something.
So, and she would say that or she has said that
because it's just like a crass stunt or?
It's crass and she has started to talk about
the degree to which she thinks that diet culture
and our obsession with fat and weight loss is unhealthy
and that she was a big part of that, right?
Like she started talking about that.
Now, she started talking about that
in participation with Weight Watchers.
So I don't know how much credit you wanna give her, right?
Clearly done in good faith.
Yeah, maybe not totally done in good,
maybe more of just a pivot.
I will just say as someone who is like a little more
outside of the Oprah sphere,
I think compared to everyone else here,
I feel like I didn't particularly perceive,
like I hear what you're saying about like,
she was like one of the faces of,
but it was so pervasive everywhere.
Not to like completely let her off the hook,
but it is a little just like,
that's what you did when you were like,
especially marketing to middle-aged women, I feel like.
It's partly what you did
because Oprah was so successful at it.
Like she, it's a road that was there
because she bushwhacked it, you know?
Right, right, right.
Yeah, I actually have a similar take.
I think that why she regrets this is not because of like,
participating in this harmful, toxic diet culture,
yada, yada, yada, which she was.
I think it was sort of throwing red meat to the people,
Robert, that you were just describing,
who obsess about her weight personally.
I think that it's probably a low point
because she was engaging in this like highly personal
public conversation about her weight
and like playing into that.
I would probably, I don't know that she was,
would say like, oh, I shouldn't have been participating
in diet culture writ large.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think that that's, that, that might be a fair critique,
but we'll, we'll talk about it.
But first for these, for these couple of episodes,
we're going to really be getting into like the, the,
the parts of Oprah's crew that are mostly, or life,
that are mostly like a lot more empathetic.
Although, you know, there's some darkness there too,
mainly in like the way in which she has kind of lied
and judged up some aspects of her background
because it makes a better story.
Yeah, this will all be interesting to talk about.
So in 2021, one of my sources for this
is a book that Oprah released about trauma,
much of which she discussed
through the lens of her own childhood trauma.
She co-authored, What Happened to You
with Dr. Bruce Perry, an American psychiatrist
who specializes in child trauma.
And from what I can tell is like one of the less toxic doctors
that Oprah is famous for launching to stardom.
Although again, that doesn't necessarily mean a whole lot.
In an interview about that book for today.com, Oprah posited that her childhood
trauma was responsible for her low moments like the wagon of fat incident.
I think that certainly all of the feelings of not fitting in of my disease to please,
or feeling like if I don't do what everyone wants me to do, I'm going to be rejected somehow.
What I was afraid of in every instance, I'm going to get a whipping.
I'm afraid I'm going to get that whipping.
Thankfully, she adds, the decades of time she spent processing her pain has given her
a sort of what she calls post-traumatic wisdom that she thinks makes her a good spokesperson
for every kind of suffering in America or for a lot, many kinds of suffering
in American society today, right?
Like because of my trauma, that's why I've done some
of the things that I regret.
It's my disease to please.
It's like my fear of not fitting in.
But because I have that trauma,
I'm also a perfect spokesperson for many of these kinds
of like traumas in American society.
And the fact that she thinks that way
is a really important prism to understand what she does.
Cause Oprah, in a lot of ways, if you look at,
especially the first 10 or 15 years of her show,
it's a mirror in some ways of like the Jerry Springer show.
Like they're literally doing some of the same episodes,
bringing like Klansmen out, you know,
to have like big arguments and fights on stage.
There's a lot of like, you know,
bringing out people in relationships who are having conflicts. It's a lot of like, you know, bringing out people in relationships
who are having conflicts.
It is that kind of like trash TV.
And then in the late nineties, she starts to pivot.
And largely the thing that she pivots around
is her taking her own childhood trauma,
her own experiences of like physical
and sexual abuse and whatnot.
And using that as sort of a lens through which
to explore those things in American society.
And there's both a degree to which
there are some really important issues
that started getting attention
because Oprah used herself as a lens
to kind of like highlight them.
And also there's this sense of like
almost profiteering from the same things,
which makes this very complicated to discuss.
I feel like it's so weird too, because it's like, at the time, as you're describing it,
I probably wouldn't have perceived it as such. But like, we're also in an era where like,
influencer and just like you like, that is the product
that everyone, you know, the children today are very casually selling.
Yeah, it's almost like the concept of like selling out for like, between the 90s and
the todays of it.
It's like, you know, it's not something that you would bat an eye at everything you're
describing right now.
No, no, no.
But it was really unique at the time, right?
It does seem like she was very ahead of the game on this.
I think it's like the influencer bread and butter today,
but back then, I mean, I do think that it set her apart
from your Jerry Springer's, your Jenny Jones's
to really put these kind of trauma off.
It was like authenticity before that was a thing
we expected from TV show hosts.
Yep.
That's exactly, I think that's exactly it, Bridget.
And what's kind of undeniable is that she was able to kind of get access to a lot of
stories of people's hurting by, from her own background of suffering.
Her old executive producer, Diane Hudson, once told People Profiles, quote,
"'Vulnerability is the key to Oprah's success.
People appreciate when you can be honest.
It lets them feel more comfortable about themselves.
She's got this special kind of connective ability.
I see it happen over and over again.
Everyone who meets her feels like, oh, now I know her.'"
And that's what you're talking about,
that kind of authenticity being the buzzword
that it is today.
It all really starts with Oprah.
And yeah, it is one, it's both, I think there is a lot of vulnerability that she's been
willing to put out there, but at the same time, Oprah is not like, Oprah is a conscious
crafter of her own image and her own story, right?
She knows what she's doing.
She's not like a naive in this kind of scenario.
And that muddles the waters too,
because some of this authenticity is very carefully sculpted
rather than something that's kind of come out purely
just as a natural reaction, you know?
And that's gonna make talking about some of this very hard, because we do have, like,
especially when we talk about the traumas of her childhood, you have different sources
who disagree and who disagree with, like, some of the things Oprah says about what happens
to her.
And as a spoiler, like, we're not gonna know, like, who's actually right here, because I
certainly wasn't there when Oprah was a little kid.
I'm gonna guess neither of you were either.
Right.
The two of the biggest sources for this episode
are first that book that Oprah wrote with a doctor
about her own trauma.
And then there's two biographies.
One was written kind of early on in Oprah's time
as a world famous talk show host, 1999's Oprah Winfrey,
written by Meryl Nodin for People Profiles. the world famous talk show host, 1999's Oprah Winfrey,
written by Meryl Nodin for People Profiles.
And if you want even, like, you know,
that's kind of actually a surprisingly good
for being a pop biography look at Oprah's backstory
and kind of the different takes
on what happened to her as a kid.
A more recent biography is Kitty Kelly's Oprah,
which is another major source for this episode.
Now I'm gonna warn you, Kitty's 2010 book
is a mean biography.
And she is-
The best kind.
It's the best kind.
But Kitty is like, she is recognized as a lover of gossip
and like, you know, there's a tabloid feel to this.
She's also someone who does put in the work
to dig up dirt on her subjects,
but it tends to be like real dirt, you know?
But this is a mean book, you know?
Don't mistake this for a work of like objective biography.
Like, so like all great media figures,
including, you know, me,
Oprah's hometown was a destitute little slice of hell
in the middle of nowhere.
This is something I really identify with her with, right?
She comes up in Kosciuszko, Mississippi,
which is 70 or so miles above Jackson.
She once said of her hometown,
"'That place is so small, you can spit and be out of town
"'before your spit hits the ground.'"
Which I both, I get that feeling, right?
That like, this isn't even, there's nothing here, right?
Like this isn't even a town, which I like empathize with.
That's how I felt as a kid about fucking Ida Bell.
It's a little bit of an exaggeration.
There were about 6,700 people in town when she grew up,
which like isn't huge, but it's not quite that tiny.
Now she was born in the home of her maternal grandparents,
Hattie Mae and Earlist Lee,
who was known as Earless by the family
because he was super old and also deaf as hell.
The town has that weird Polish name
because it's named after a Polish revolutionary war general
who was also an ardent abolitionist.
And as a result, it had a fairly, or not as a result,
but like that, it having that name is a result of the fact
that it had a very large black population.
It was extremely segregated and extremely poor.
So yeah, that's the town that she grows up in.
And it's one of those places that had largely been built
around a cotton mill, which went bust in 1948.
That's when things start to fall apart in her hometown because people start fleeing
for northern cities that might still have work.
What's happening in Kosciuszko is a microcosm of a much larger national trend at the time.
This is a thing that's happening elsewhere to a lot of places.
Meryl Noden writes, quote, Oprah's parents were among those who left.
Military service had already given 20-year-old Vernon Winfrey a ticket out.
He was at home on a furlough from Fort Rucker, Alabama.
On the spring's day, he met Vernita Lee, an 18-year-old high school student and part-time
domestic worker.
The two barely knew each other when they had what their daughter has described as a one-day fling under an oak tree. The encounter seems
to have been a source of shame for the ambitious young man who would go on to become a deacon
in his church and a Nashville city councilman. I'm not proud of what happened with Oprah's
mother and me," Winfrey has said. I tell people today that if something like that happens,
the boy should help take care of the child. So that's the yeah, it's not his.
He's not told until she's born.
Right. Right. Yeah.
And he does like send financial aid as soon as he's told.
But like they don't they don't really let him know until there's already a kid.
And as another spoiler, he might not actually be her biological father.
I don't know that that doesn't really make a huge deal
in this story because they all think he is
during this period of time.
And he's like going to be very much a responsible dad
to the extent that he is like allowed to be.
But it is kind of like a little unclear as to what actually,
like who her actual like biological dad is.
I don't think that there's like a solid answer on that.
Every biography will give you a little bit
of a different answer,
but Vernon is the one that they think
is the biological father, you know,
for most of this period of time.
And Oprah Gayle Winfrey is born on January 29th, 1954.
And the story behind her name is a fun one.
So does anyone know what Oprah's original name
was supposed to be?
This is the one thing I think I know.
Oh yeah?
Wasn't it supposed to be Orpah?
It was supposed to be Orpah.
Yeah, which was, it's a biblical name.
Ruth's, like, if you know, I think Ruth was like Moses's
sister or, she was like tight with Moses,
if I'm remembering the Bible right.
And Orpo was one of her friends.
And this is, it really says a lot about the people here.
Orpo is a Bible deep cut.
This is the biblical equivalent of a Star Wars fan
who names his kid after Kitster Benai,
who's one of Anakin Skywalker's little friends from Tatooine.
So he's gonna pull up a picture of Kitster here, not for any real reason.
I don't know why I thought this joke deserved to be presented.
Cause we're filming, this is the razzle dazzle.
There he is, there's Kitster, look at him.
He looks like an agastire doing like something on FNL. It's a great choice. I'm sure he has like,
I'm sure someone out there has like the original model
from when the Phantom Menace came out of this little child.
Look at this kid.
I love that haircut with the built in bangs.
Yeah, I know, he's looking great.
He's looking great.
Anyway, I'm no more a Bible scholar
than I am a fan of the Phantom Menace.
I did have to look up that kid's name, although I remembered his face.
It's one of those things that's burnt into my head from my childhood.
I got to say though, from what I can read, and maybe I'm missing something here, not
being a Bible scholar, it feels like her aunt picking Orpah as a name might have been her
throwing shade at the baby.
Because in the book of Ruth, Orpah, the person Orpah has a chance to go with Ruth and someone
named Naomi, who are like going down this more godly path or return to her old pagan
gods and like her, you know, her village and whatever.
And Orpah turns back and goes back to like being a pagan, right?
In rabbinic literature, according to Wikipedia. So again, I'm not a rabbinic literature effort.
Orpah is identified with Harappa, the mother of Goliath and three other Philistine giants.
Also, Harappa had a lively social life, by which I mean like got around right the Babylonian Talmud
describes her as being threshed by as many men as a man would thresh wheat
that's in the fucking Bible yeah the Bible the Bible loves doing shit like this
who got threshed and how much? her body count was crazy yeah I'm saying Threshed from now on.
I'm saying Threshed too.
So Altel, yeah, it seems like they're kind of shit
talking this baby by naming it Orpa.
I don't know why else you would go with Orpa.
Like it's not a super nice name to give a little kid
just based on how the Bible talks about this person.
Maybe she just thought it sounded pretty.
In any way- I think it's just that someone else in the congregation
just named a kid Nebuchadnezzar and you just had to like one.
Now, that's a name.
That's a name.
And it's also a size of wine bottle that's now legal in Florida.
Wow. That just happened.
Wow. So that's like the three liter.
Are you sorry? It's massive.
So so if you can pull up a picture of a Nebuchadnezzar of wine, I'm not.
Just imagine a really big bottle of wine.
I'm not gonna let that up.
It's very big.
It's like most of your height of wine.
So this is the first time where Oprah gets really lucky.
Obviously she's born into a difficult situation,
but she gets an early solid in the fact
that somebody fucks up on her birth certificate
and the midwife misspells her name as Oprah.
And everyone just kind of decides,
ah, good enough, right?
And this little error might be one of the luckiest breaks
that Oprah ever received,
because I have trouble imagining Orpo working as well
as a star's name, right?
The Orpo Winfrey Show?
The Orpo Winfrey Show,
I just have trouble imagining it, you know?
Oprah just seems to flow a lot better.
I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe we would all be saying that if she had been named
Orpa and they'd been like, we almost called her Oprah.
God, can you imagine? I don't know.
But yeah, anyway, you know what doesn't have a name is
the nameless horror I feel when I think about you all
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He was a Boy Scout leader, a church deacon, a husband, a father.
He went to a local church.
He was going to the grocery store with us.
He was the guy next door. But he was leading a local church. He was going to the grocery store with us. He was the guy next door.
But he was leading a double life.
He was certainly a peeping Tom,
looking through the windows,
looking at people, fantasizing about what he could do.
He then began entering the houses.
He could get into their home, take something,
and get out and not be caught.
He felt very powerful.
He was a monster, hiding in plain sight.
Someone killed four members of a family. It just didn't happen here.
Journey inside the mind of one of history's most notorious killers, BTK, through the voices
of the people who know him best.
Listen to Monster BTK on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
And we're back.
So we're talking Oprah who has now come into the world.
So once she is born, the job of caring for this new baby
is almost immediately made the work of Hattie Mae Presley,
her grandmother.
And that Presley there is going to be the reason
why Oprah will for years, for a big chunk of her life,
claim that she is related to Elvis.
This does not seem to be the case.
I don't think anyone in her family ever believed that,
but she will make statements like that for quite some time.
And it's one of the things that members of her family
will be like, I don't know why she does that.
We're not related to Elvis in any way.
Does she still do that today, you think?
I don't think she still does it,
but maybe I'm wrong about that.
All of the times I found,
like all of the quotes of her claiming that I found
are from earlier in her career.
Oh man.
That's a truly a wild thing to claim.
Like truly. Yeah.
I could see it if it was like a widespread family myth
that we have, you know, Elvis's kin,
but like it doesn't seem to be,
cause it's always in these books,
it's always her family being like,
yeah, we got nothing to do with Elvis.
I don't know why she's doing that.
Without being too wildly cynical,
the value of being related to Elvis
has also diminished greatly in the last probably 20 years.
So there's just like no reason to keep it up.
Yeah, yeah, it's certainly like there's less,
yeah, you get less credit from being related to Elvis.
Oh, cool.
I'm like, just having the same last, the same common last, it's like me saying like,
my last name is Todd.
It's like me saying, oh, Chuck Todd and I are related.
It's like, y'all have a very common last name.
And what cache would you be trying to get from that?
Yeah.
Or it's like me bragging about my relationship
to Rick Santorum.
I mean, but also like without getting too gross
about American history, the obvious thing is
when a black person and a white person have the same last
name, the antecedent tends to be a different thing
than direct, well, or whatever.
I mean, I guess there's lots of awful ways, but.
Yeah, I mean, one way that, but in this case
there doesn't seem to be any like evidence of that, right?
Like that it's because like Presley's
not an uncommon last name, right?
There's a shitload of fucking Presley's out there.
So Hattie Mae was the granddaughter of slaves.
So that is like how kind of, you know,
we're talking about like the fifties here, right?
And she worked as the cook for the sheriff of Kosciuszko
and managed the household
of a rich white family,
the Linards.
And at this point, we've got two pretty different,
we start to get two very different stories
of Oprah's first six years alive.
She once told reporters, quote,
"'I never had a store bought dress or a pair of shoes
until I was six years old.
The only toy I had was a corn cob doll with toothpicks.'"
This is like pretty consistent in terms
of how Oprah talks about her life. Kitty Kelly writes, quote, she recalled her early years as
lonely with no one to play with except the pigs that she rode bareback around her grandmother's
yard. I only had barnyard animals to talk to. I read them Bible stories. She regaled her audiences
with stories of having to carry water from the well, milk cows, and empty the slop jar, a childhood of cinders and ashes that was the
stuff of fairy tales. Oprah morphed into Operella as she spun her tales about the switch-wielding
grandmother and cane-thumping grandfather who raised her until she was six years old.
Oh, the whoopens I got, she said."
And the degree to which this is myth-making is up for debate.
It is worth noting that a number of her family members
and friends of the family who knew Oprah
during this period very much don't agree
with this take on her childhood.
And I wanna read a quote
from that People Profiles biography here.
Among Oprah's many assets may be a gift
for self-dramatization.
As Vernita once put it,
Oprah toots it up a little.
In one tale, Oprah has often told she has cast herself as a lonely child whose main
comfort was talking to the farm animals.
The nearest neighborhood neighbor was a blind man up the road, she once said.
There weren't other kids, no playmates, no toys, except for one corncob doll.
I played with the animals and I made speeches to the cows.
Esther's, which is her aunt, has a different explanation for the loneliness Oprah remembers.
Right across the road were Oprah's cousins, the Presley twins, who were her age.
They played together when Oprah was allowed to come outside because Aunt Hat was very
protective of her.
It seems that there's at least a good amount of evidence that the real Oprah story, at
least the story for childhood that the majority of the people who were there for it tell, is not that
she was like locked, you know, is that she was isolated because this was some like middle of the
nowhere dirt farm. It's because she had a grandmother who was something of a helicopter parent,
right? And while the family certainly wasn't rich, they weren't dirt poor.
And in fact, everyone seems to agree
that Oprah had a lot of toys.
The whole, I only had a corn cob doll thing
is definitely not true.
But the reason she had a lot of nice toys
is that they were all hand-me-downs
from the rich white family that Hattie Mae worked for,
which is a complicated thing, right?
When you're thinking about like,
why would somebody kind of exaggerate
the lack of stuff that they had as a kid? When it's like, well, but also the stuff that you have
comes to you as a result of this relationship that's kind of very fundamentally unequal and
that you were probably somewhat aware of at the time. And Oprah, in fact, talks a lot about how
she was aware of the fact that like white girls were treated very differently in her town
and wanted to be white as a little kid.
So this is all very messy.
Yeah, it goes back to what you were saying, Robert,
about how a lot of her early story is quite sympathetic.
And it's very easy.
On the one hand, it's easy to say, oh, well,
she was doing some myth-making and saying
she didn't have any toys. But it's also more complicated and sort It's easy to say oh well She was doing some myth-making and saying she didn't have any toys
But it's also like more complicated and sort of truer to be like well
She had toys, but they came from the white kids, and she didn't maybe maybe was aware of the the dynamic
They're like it's less satisfying and more complex, but it doesn't make it any less true
Right right, and it's it's it And it's also one of those things where,
like she talks a lot about being whipped and switched
and how like she didn't feel like the same thing happened
to the white kids.
Now does that mean like, I'm white kids in Alabama,
I'm sure plenty of them got beat by their parents too.
But what kind of matters more there is her feeling on it,
right, that there were these kids
that my grandma's job is to serve
and they clearly get these much nicer things than I am.
And it's not surprising to me that that would color her,
her like concept of her childhood,
much more than like what her older aunts
would have picked up on, which is like,
well, she always had the nice things, right?
Yeah, like neither of them can be lying
and there can still be a discrepancy
between what they remember, if that makes sense.
But it feels like mythmaking is sort of a fair way to say it.
Like this is just kind of like the exact shorthand,
especially in a like entertainment capacity.
Like the whole, I only had the cows to talk to thing
is definitely a bit of myth making.
Cause like everyone does, no,
she had more family around her than that.
Yeah. That's a little,
that's a little bit playing it up, right?
That's like straight out of the movie Pearl.
Like, oh, I was putting on speeches for the pigs.
So yeah, Oprah, one of the stories she tells is that
tells us that she was like forced to make friends with cockroaches,
which is actually like a reoccurrent bit of hers
in her early years.
Quote, we were so poor we couldn't afford a cat or a dog.
So I made pets out of two cockroaches.
I put them in a jar and named them Melinda and Sandy.
And Oprah's sister Patricia Lloyd
does not entirely agree with this take.
Oprah exaggerated how bad we had it,
I guess to get sympathy from her viewers
and widen her audience.
She never had cockroaches for pets.
She always had a dog.
She also had a white cat,
an eel in an aquarium,
and a parakeet called Bo Peep
that she tried to teach to talk.
And-
She had an eel?
She had a parakeet?
Come on.
I'm sorry, it's hard, it's hard to,
you really blasted past the eel part.
She wasn't like,
she doesn't have an eel at a point.
Well, here's the thing though,
because like Patricia Lloyd is telling the truth, I think.
I'm sure that Oprah had those pets,
but Patricia is younger than Oprah
and doesn't meet Oprah until Oprah is not living
with her grandmother anymore.
Patricia and Oprah never get along.
And a big chunk of this is,
I'm not gonna throw out stories like this
from family members who were like,
yeah, it wasn't as bad as she says it was,
because there's definitely a good amount
of myth-making going on here.
But also there's a lot of people who are angry
that Oprah got rich and that they didn't get
as much of that money as they wanted to get.
And so that's also a factor in some of these like,
like Patricia doesn't know what was going on
in that farmhouse, cause she wasn't alive then.
And she's probably just a hater.
She, that's not 0% of why she's saying this, right?
Yeah.
Now that said, there's also some evidence that like,
Oprah really pushes aside how doting her family was to her
because that's not kind of the conception she,
she always has this sort of like, I've always been alone attitude. And maybe that's not kind of the conception. She always has this sort of like
I've always been alone attitude and maybe that's how she felt. But her maternal aunt, Susie,
said this to Kitty Kelly, we all just adored her. We just worshiped her and everything. My mother
Hattie gave Oprah everything she wanted her to have and everything Oprah wanted. And so we were
poor people, but we got it for her. She claimed she had no dolls, but she had lots of dolls,
all kinds of dolls.
And I don't think that's lying either.
I don't think it's uncommon for a kid to be like,
well, I felt alone.
And for the people around that kid to be like,
but you weren't, you know?
And again, neither of those people are necessarily lying.
That just gets down to people taking very different things.
And like childhood, you're not aware of the stuff
that maybe adults see.
Yeah.
How old is she in this time period?
One to six.
Oh my God, yeah.
Or birth to six, I should say, right?
I feel like that's exactly the type of disagreement
that you always have with you.
You don't really remember how nice everyone was to you
when you were six.
Yeah, because I have a lot of complaints
about my own childhood, like one to seven or eight.
And I'm sure my mom would say,
well, we were all working our asses off
to take care of you.
And it's like, well, yeah,
but also you weren't around a lot of the time, you know, like,
that's just a nobody's wrong there as the parent.
You're like, but you understand that what I was doing was trying to take care of you.
And as the kid, you're like, yeah, but I was still really unhappy, you know, like that's
just childhood, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, Kitty makes an interesting note here, pulling from a 2009 interview Oprah did with Barbara Streisand
in which Barbara, who grew up in poverty,
talked about the fact that her only doll
was a hot water bottle.
Oprah, who had previously claimed to only have a doll
she made from a corn cob, replied,
"'Wow, you were poorer than I was.'"
So again, myth-making is going on here.
She's not ever totally consistent.
How poor she was depends on who she's talking to.
When she's talking to somebody who was like really growing
up also very poor, Oprah maybe like,
eases up on the throttle a little bit.
She's an entertainer.
Yeah.
I remember that Barbara Walters Oprah crossover very well
because it ends with a very good performance
where Barbara Walters
painted Oprah's microphone white.
Because she was, not Barbara Walters,
Barbara Streisand painted her microphone white
because her thing is like,
wait, are you talking about Streisand or Walters?
I think I'm talking about Streisand.
Let me double check in this.
So I don't have to fuck this up.
If it's Streisand, that was like a very big moment
in Oprah lore.
Yeah, I think it's, I'm pretty sure it's Streisand.
It's just that she also talked, she talked to everyone.
There's, because we just talked about Barbara Walters
in here, who she mentioned like wishing that she had been
white as a little girl to Barbara Walters.
Barbara Streisand, I think is the interview
about how poor they were.
Yeah, yeah.
All the Barbas. All the Barbas how poor they were. Yeah, yeah. All the barbers.
All the barbers.
Too many barbers in this story.
If they were famous in the 90s or early 2000s, Oprah had a tearful conversation with them.
So yeah, Kitty Kelly quotes from a Life article in 1997, which includes this line, Oprah was
the least powerful of girls, born poor and illegitimate on the segregated South on a
town in Kosciuszko, Mississippi.
She spent her first six years there,
abandoned to her maternal grandmother.
And so you can see that like this spin on the story,
which is parts of it, I'm sure are emotionally true.
Some of it is certainly literally true,
but also the idea that she was abandoned,
I think it's more, I think that doesn't quite get at the truth,
which is that her grandmother took her over
because her mother was not a reliable parent.
And this was, she benefited a lot from the fact
that she had her grandmother during this.
Very similar actually to Clarence Thomas's story, right?
Where you had this kid who was growing up
in a very impoverished background,
but wound up being taken care of their grandparent, who was the absolute most responsible person to raise
them in that period of time.
So it is the situation where that's both, I'm sure, very difficult for the child who's
not being raised by their parents, but it's also not the situation of like, this is an
example of there being a strong safety net in her childhood that
a number of, a lot of other kids in the same situation wouldn't necessarily benefit it
from.
And both of those things are, I think, critical to talk about, whether we're talking about
Thomas or we're talking about Winfrey.
And this is where you get kind of a lot of the discrepancies because the Winfrey family
historian, Catherine Esters, who is, I think think technically a cousin, but one of those cousins who Oprah grew up seeing as an aunt, has really taken a lot of issues with Oprah's description
of her childhood.
And she told Kitty Kelly this, all things considered, those years with Hattie Mae were
the best thing that could have happened to a baby girl born to poor kin.
Oprah grew up as an only child with the full and undivided attention of every one of us,
her grandparents, her aunts, uncles, and cousins, as well as her mother,
who Oprah never mentions was with her every day for the first four and a half years of Oprah's life
until she went north to Milwaukee to find a better job. And when I read this, I was very surprised
because all of the other things I'd read about her childhood said that her mom had left immediately,
but Esther's claims like, no, her mom was there for four and a half years and then just bounced for like 18 months
to try and set up a life
and does eventually bring her up to Milwaukee,
which is a different version of her story, right?
Like, again, there's a lot,
there's less abandonment here
than at least certain versions of the story.
And obviously I wasn't there
to tell you who was lying or not, but yeah.
I don't know, just,
that feels like exactly like perception though.
Like if between zero and four, if your mom leaves,
how would you materially know the difference between four and one?
You know, really, you're barely there as a kid.
Right, and that is kind of the difficulty of how formative that period is,
and then how like shitty our memory is of it.
Because like I always would like, especially when I do stuff like this and I read about
like, well, if I were to write my own recollection of like my early childhood out and then talk
to my relatives about it, how many of them would be like, no, that's not what happened.
No, right?
You're a kid.
Yeah, you're, you're a small child. So again, I don't even know how much of this is mythmaking and just that was her, she felt
abandoned.
And so maybe then it is like, is that even more accurate than the truth that her mom
was actually there most of the time, if that's what she took out of that period of time?
I don't know if you know the answer to this, but are the family members that are speaking
on this sort of correcting the record, are they alleging that Oprah is sort of outright
falsifying what her childhood was like?
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Aunt Catherine definitely is.
She is very much, she's talking a lot of shade about Oprah.
I think she takes it very personally because she was one of the people helping to raise
her that she talks about her childhood this way.
There's always the question of how much does money and people being unhappy about money
play into some of this?
I can't answer that.
There's been allegations of that too.
Nobody's coming into this without an angle,
but Aunt Catherine is definitely alleging Oprah lies a lot
about her childhood.
That is her, that is precisely how she frames it.
Is that like, she's telling a lot of tall tales, you know?
Yeah, complicated.
So-
It's just like when the successful person in your family is the most like
the richest person in media, that's that's what it becomes a thing.
That's a complicated.
This sounds so standard to any talking family, I have to say.
Right. Right. Such a hater.
If my sibling became Oprah famous, anybody who put a microphone on my face
and I'll say whatever, I would be such a hater.
No, just buy me a vineyard and I'll shut up.
You'll never hear from me again.
Go date Stedman, we're good.
So there's also another aspect of this
that didn't really come out until more recently.
Abhi Oprah was open a lot about physical abuse
that she endured. Although I should say, when I say physical abuse a lot about physical abuse that she endured.
Although I should say, when I say physical abuse,
it is accurate to call it abuse.
It is also totally normal corporal punishment
for the time, right?
Like the stuff she is talking about,
my grandma would make me go get a switch
and then would beat me if I did things that were bad.
That is extremely normal for this place and time, right?
I have to say, like, that is how I was raised.
I grew up in the South.
That's, I mean, that's just like, I know a lot of people.
I was spanked at my public school.
Same, like, I know a lot of people today
for whom that is like a normal vibe,
even though it is abuse.
And it's one of those things people will critique her
for like, and be like, ah, she wasn't really,
she wasn't beat more than anybody else.
Like, you know, Hattie was not particularly violent
for a parent in that era.
But also I don't think Oprah's wrong for being like,
this is really fucked up
and you shouldn't hit kids with switches.
So I think I give that point to Oprah on the whole.
Yeah.
And especially making the kid go out
and get their own switch.
Oh yeah.
If you've ever had to do that,
that's like a special kind of psychological torture.
A lot of it does sound very familiar.
You'd yeah, just growing up in the South,
like I got smacked, you know,
I don't think more than my fair share.
And it's the kind of thing where like,
there's a part of me that wants to be,
if I were to hear someone else complaining
about the kind of stuff that was done to me as a kid,
I'd be like, well, man,
that she was just growing up as a kid
in rural Oklahoma in the nineties,
but it's also bad.
You should do that to kids.
So maybe I'll just shut up about that, you know?
It's that kind of like, it's that attitude
where like if you went through something
and you never really thought of it as that bad,
then you get kind of offended when other people speak up,
even if they should be, you know?
It's probably just a thing we have to get over as people.
I don't know. Yeah, well, see, I went through it.
I paid off my student loans.
I did X or Y bullshit. And it's like, well.
Yeah. Why should everyone be hitting me as a kid, I guess? Yeah.
Earlier, I mentioned that 2021 book with Dr.
Bruce Perry, who by Oprah standards is a pretty good doctor,
but also seems to think ADHD isn't real.
So again, by Oprah standards does a lot of heavy lifting
there, like I was reading through this guy's bio
and I was like, okay, he seems like a real,
oh, he doesn't think ADHD is a thing, huh?
Okay.
Cool, we've got some RFK vibes coming off of this fella.
In that book, What Happened to You? Conversations
on Trauma, Resilience and Healing, each chapter opens up with a brief vignette or essay by
either Oprah or Dr. Perry. And the rest of each chapter is literally just like a conversation
transcript between the two written out in Q&A format. It is a very lazy book in my opinion,
right? It is the easiest way to write a fucking book. Everyone does like 10 pages of essays
and then you just fucking record a conversation.
Man, how do I get that job, right?
Like that's beautiful grift, beautiful grift.
That said, there's also some like pretty poignant vignettes
from Oprah here, which I think maybe fills it out
a little bit more that includes some stark claims
from her childhood.
Now we should remember this book came out just a couple of years ago.
So this is a senior citizen reflecting half a century later on things that would have
happened when she was six at the oldest.
So the best case scenario here, there's no way, even if we discount some myth making,
you're never going to be perfectly accurate in your recollections of stuff that happened
in this time.
But here's how Oprah writes about the way in which discipline was done when she was
a child.
At the time, it was accepted practice for caregivers to use corporal punishment to discipline
a child.
My grandmother Hattie Mae embraced it, but even at three years old, I knew what I was
experiencing was wrong.
One of the worst beatings I can recall happened on a Sunday morning.
Going to church played a major role in our lives.
Just before we were to leave for service, I was sent to the well behind our house to
pump water.
The farmhouse where I lived with my grandparents did not have indoor plumbing.
From the window, my grandmother caught a glimpse of me twirling my fingers in the water and
became enraged.
Though I was only daydreaming innocently, as any child might, she was angry because
this was our drinking water, and I had put my fingers in it.
She then asked me if I had been playing in the water and I said no. She bent me over and whipped me so
violently my flesh welted. Afterward I managed to put on my white Sunday best dress. Blood began to
seep through and stain the crisp fabric a deep crimson. Live it at the site. She chastised me
for getting blood on my dress, then sent me to Sunday school. the rural South. This is how black children were raised.
Yeah, and it's one of those esters, aunt Catherine takes a lot of issue with this.
She was like, had he made it not beat Oprah
every day of her life.
And like, I'm sure it wasn't every day,
but I don't think Oprah's probably,
it's a very specific story to have lied about.
And it's like so visceral that if you, if that happened to you while you were a little kid,
no shit it's gonna be memorable.
No shit it's gonna be something you can recall.
That'll stick with you.
Yeah, of course that would stick with you.
Yeah, and I think this might be again when we talk about because it'd be very easy, especially
since this is a bastard's episode, to just lean on Esther's being like,
she lied about this, she lied about that.
But like, well, she was one of the people
who was taking care of Oprah
when Oprah was getting smacked around as a kid
and maybe did some of the smacking
and maybe doesn't wanna think about that
as having been a problem, right?
Cool stuff.
I think Oprah does genuinely care about child abuse.
It's something she has devoted a lot of her life to trying to fight, although in ways
that have been imperfect, there's criticisms of some of the stuff that she's tried to do
for this.
But it is something that she's put a lot of time and effort into.
And that kind of does make me think she's probably telling the truth all in all
about like what she experienced as a kid.
And what's interesting to me is that Oprah,
while she's all, you know, been mostly seems
to have negative things to say about her grandma,
she's also very clear that like Hattie Mae
is the first person who inculcated within her
the behavior that made her a success later on.
Quote, I developed a keen sense of when trouble was brewing.
I recognized the shift in my grandmother's voice or the look that meant I had displeased
her.
She was not a mean person.
I believe she cared for me and wanted me to be a good girl.
And I understood that hushing my mouth or silence was the only way to ensure a quick
end to punishment and pain.
For the next 40 years, that pattern of condition compliance, the result of deeply rooted trauma,
would define every relationship, interaction, and decision in my life.
The long-term impact of being whooped, then forced to hush and even smile about it, turned
me into a world-class people pleaser for most of my life."
And I think Oprah would suggest that part of why she got to be so good at what we call
myth-making at
entertaining people because what is entertainment but people pleasing is that she spends so much of her early childhood
Trying to keep her grandmother
Happy, right?
Yeah, I I mean I not to be sympathizing with our bastard, but I
Yeah, I mean like that is my that is Yeah, I mean, like that is my childhood, right?
Like I think that is like classic kid who grew up
getting that kind of punishment in a household
where even as an adult, you become so perceptive
to like the tiniest little changes in someone's demeanor.
And you kind of had to be to survive in households like that.
Like that is like, that rings true to me.
Yeah, my childhood, I wouldn't say was as extreme
as what Oprah has related,
but I definitely vibe with the feeling of like,
there is someone in my house who gets angry at me easily,
and I'm going to get very good at like people pleasing
and at lying in order to avoid pissing them off.
And I have to ask Robert, like as a like podcaster
to podcaster,
do you kind of feel like this is like why you are good
at like storytelling and entertaining
and keeping people happy and laughing and smiling with you?
Right? Like she's not wrong.
I don't think she's wrong at all.
And like it's all of that.
And it's also why I've always been really good
at talking to the cops, at like lying to the cops,
at getting out of trouble with the police
is that I know when somebody has been dead to rights,
I know how to weasel out of it.
Like allegedly lying, yeah.
Like you learn to protect yourself.
Like why do the cops is not a crime?
Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly.
Allegedly, yeah.
A lot of successful entertainers
have something like this in their background, right?
I actually had this written out. Like you learn to please people
and that teaches you how to please crowds, right?
Speaking of pleasing crowds.
Fuck the crowds, let's please our advertisers.
Yeah.
The only crowd that matters.
Yeah.
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Hey, listeners. I'm Lauren Bright-Pacheco, host of the Murder on Song get your podcast. He was a boy scout leader, a church deacon, a husband, a father. Crime Plus and subscribe today. looking through the windows, looking at people, fantasizing about what he could do.
He then began entering the houses.
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He felt very powerful.
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So on the whole, you know,
I think Oprah lies a lot about the specific,
I think there are specifics that get exaggerated
and just specifics that are misremembered about her past,
but I don't think that means her,
we should discount what she says, right?
And I think particularly we should pay attention
when she says, quote, the most pervasive feeling
I remember from my own childhood is loneliness.
And I can believe that at the same time as I believe her aunt Catherine when she tells
Kitty Kelly, quote, Oprah makes her first six years sound like the worst thing that
ever befell a child born to folks just trying to survive.
I was there for most of the time and I can tell you she was spoiled and petted and indulged
better than any little girl in these parts.
Every parent knows that a child's first six years lays the foundation for life.
And those first six years down here with Hattie Mae gave Oprah the foundation for her self-confidence,
her speaking ability, and her desire to succeed."
I don't actually think both of those things are in conflict the way that they both think
it does.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's exactly like, like as, as we've been saying, like these are all the skills you gain.
I do feel it's worth saying that though sometimes you gain these skills,
also the majority of the time people are crushed and hurt by this type of
it can be. You can be crushed, but also a good entertainer.
You could be, you can be both. You can be crushed, but also a good entertainer. Yeah, you can be, I mean, yeah.
But it's not like a magic spell.
No, no, I would not recommend.
This is not how I would recommend raising a child.
Even for entertainers, but in more cases,
like if you're an entertainer,
like this story still ends in a place
like the fucking floor in front of the Viper Room
as opposed to having $2 billion, you know?
RIP River Phoenix.
So there's another story Oprah tells in this book,
which again, I don't like this book overall,
but this passage struck me.
And if it is accurate, I think it's something
that may hint of some darkness buried in the family history
that its historian Aunt Catherine
may not be willing to see.
Quote, growing up in Mississippi, I always slept with my grandmother. family history that its historian Aunt Catherine may not be willing to see.
Quote, growing up in Mississippi, I always slept with my grandmother.
My grandfather, who had dementia, slept in a side room.
One night I was suddenly awakened to see my grandfather standing over the bed.
Even before I opened my eyes, I could sense my grandmother's fear.
I could feel her heightened awareness as she slowly repeated, Earlest, get back to bed.
Earlest, get back to bed. He wouldn't go.
He was trying to choke her,
fighting to get his hands around her neck.
When she finally managed to push him off of her
and run to the door,
she cried out for one of our neighbors
called cousin Henry, who lived down the road.
Henry, Henry, Henry.
Henry was blind, but without hesitation,
he came in the middle of the night to help my grandmother
put my grandfather back in his bedroom.
My grandmother then wedged a chair under the doorknob to her bedroom door and found some cans to put around the door.
The next morning she tied those cans together and hung them from the door. And every night for the
rest of my days living with my grandmother, the cans were on the door and the chair was up under
the knob. I would try to sleep while listening to make sure that the cans didn't move."
Fuck.
Yeah.
It's so dark. That move. Fuck. Yeah. So dark.
That's so scary, yeah.
It's interesting.
She tells this anecdote in the book because it goes along with another story she's telling,
which is that she's talking about like this school shooting, right?
In 1988, when a girl, a woman named Lori Dan entered a second grade classroom in Winnetka
and started shooting,
killing an eight-year-old and wounding five other kids.
And Oprah tells her own story because like,
in the aftermath of this shooting,
there had been like a discussion about whether or not
to like chain and lock the school doors
and have them manned by security guards.
And the principal refused to implement these changes
because he was like, if there's a chain on the door,
it sends a message to the kids that they're unsafe.
And kind of Oprah brings up the story to be like,
I really feel that because of these cans hung from the door
that were supposed to make us safer,
that just reminded me that there was this constant danger,
you know, from my grandfather.
So yeah, anyway, interesting.
I don't have children, but it is so fucked up to me
that it's like, I mean, we're not gonna make them safe,
but we don't wanna make them feel unsafe.
Which they are.
Yeah. Yeah.
And it's, you know, Aunt Catherine, I think,
would probably say again, would doubt that that had happened.
One of the statements she made to Kitty Kelly was, I've talked to her about this over the years, probably say again, would doubt that that had happened.
One of the statements she made to Kitty Kelly was,
I've talked to her about this over the years.
I've confronted her and asked, why do you tell such lies?
Oprah told me, that's what people want to hear.
The truth is boring, Aunt Catherine.
People don't want to be bored.
They want stories with drama.
And so it is like, you can't help think to a little bit like,
well, did she make that up or add to
that in order to have something that was relevant to the story of a shooting from her own life,
which is like a thing, you know, being able to like, and it's like, you can't know.
It is kind of worth stating that like a lot of the people who will argue that about Oprah,
and these are arguments coming from members of her family, Aunt Catherine ahead of them,
are also people who probably have a deep emotional interest in remembering, you know, Grandma
Hattie and her husband as one kind of person.
And Oprah, the fact that Oprah doesn't remember them that way is probably deeply
offensive to these people.
And maybe, yeah, I don't know.
There's like no way to know what actually happened, right?
None of us were there.
But the fact that this conflict is present is as much a part of the story as what actually
happened, right?
I would also say just growing up in like a Southern black family, I do think there might
be some aspect of like,
you're not meant to talk about whatever happens in our house. And so the like, like her aunt being offended that she would even be talking about anything that went on, you know, behind closed
doors in their house that I could really see that. And like, again, I don't think it's all one or the
other that she's just like, callously making this up because people need a story.
Probably some of that, but that doesn't mean
that her family members would not be invested
in these stories that paint them in not so great light,
you know, not so great light,
be not something that's talked about on a national stage.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, and I think that's like,
that's a pretty important part of it as well.
I will say, another thing that is kind of weird
and partially because I'm relatively not versed in Oprah
and the elements of her bastardiness,
the ones that I know about mostly seem to be about
elevating horrible men,
which you can almost sort of do,
I could see paths to that.
Anyway, I guess what I mean is like none of these like.
Trauma, not even not the traumas,
but none of these like lies or like questionable stories.
It's like weird, because that doesn't seem like the dimension of which
like like the type of bad person that does those things
tends to be more of like just a general asshole or a liar in some way.
And it's just interesting that I'm like,
this doesn't seem to be the bad part, I guess.
No, no, sir.
Well, also she's six up to this point in the story.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, so of course.
No, no, but even in the retellings, sorry,
even if they are exaggerations, like it's so weird
cause it's like she could do all that stuff
and still not promote Dr. Oz.
Like, she could be a weird kind of like shady,
you know, Hollywood person, which happens.
And-
Most people who lie about their childhoods
don't also start Dr. Oz's career.
Yes, I think that's like maybe what I'm saying.
Yeah.
So, you know, the attitude of her,
a number of members of her family, including her mom
Vernita and her aunt Catherine, is that, and this is aunt Catherine again, she always wanted
to have the spotlight.
If adults were talking and she couldn't get their attention, she'd walk over and hit them
to make them pay attention to her.
And I think that that's, you know, that's probably true because I have seen other kids
do that. You know, it's a thing you have to like stop have seen other kids do that.
It's a thing you have to stop when a kid is doing that.
But that's not an uncommon stage of development, or for kids to scream and pout when they don't
get attention.
They're small children.
They are still learning these sorts of things.
That said, it's not inconsistent with what Oprah says about being lonely or about wanting
to be a people pleaser.
This is also a kid that is obsessed with having people pay attention to her.
And as a result, she is from a very early age a performer, which is really interesting to me.
She, like every black church in her hometown, she's given like speeches at and like read poems at and whatnot.
By the time she is six or seven, which is a continuing thing in her life.
When she moves to the big city, she'll be doing the same thing, going at every single
church she can find and like doing these kind of live performances.
She's doing that from the age of like four or five.
And this appears to be something in which she is entirely self-motivated to do.
Like she is pushing for her family to take her
to these churches so that she can do like live performances.
Like this is always a thing that she wants in her life.
Which is interesting to me and something that's gonna be
a bigger thing in part two of our episodes.
But that concludes part one of the Oprah Winfrey story.
our episodes, but that concludes part one of the Oprah Winfrey story.
That's wild. I didn't realize that the church circuit was basically like open Mike Knight for being a talk show host.
Oh my God. It's a specific kind of open Mike Knight.
But yeah, it's yeah, it definitely is.
I have seen the folks who like, if you ever meet, it makes sense.
Yeah, like people who speak at a certain kind of cadence,
you're like, ooh, you're a church kid.
You were like raised given to be to the church.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it makes, it's really interesting to me
that like she has,
cause like this does kind of speak to some of the things
her aunt was saying about like,
you know, we were all really focused on her.
There was so much attention that went her way because,
well, yeah, I mean, it would probably be pretty hard
for her to have gotten taken
to all of these different like places, right?
To all of these different like churches and whatnot.
If her family wasn't interested in her
and like focused on her success,
that said it also, that's exactly the kind of thing
a kid who was deeply lonely would really want to do, right? Like that's, that's exactly the kind of thing a kid who was deeply lonely
would really want to do. Right? Like that's cause those are the kinds of kids who become
entertainers in a lot of ways.
It is a pretty unique thing. I can't imagine. I mean, I don't think I got comfortable speaking
publicly till I was like 28. So like the fact that a six year old was like,
let me, I just need some stage time this Sunday morning. I loved it.
I was a little, church wasn't where I did it,
but like, yeah, I was attention.
I guess I was, I liked attention,
but like truly public speaking is I think different.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what she's doing, the fact that she is like,
she has the confidence in her speaking abilities
to want to get up at church,
which is like a big thing in a lot of ways,
especially to a little kid.
That's really interesting to me.
Yeah.
Anyone surprised about anything so far?
I think it's surprising to see the like,
conflicting stories.
Mm-hmm.
There's... hmm. Yeah.
Yeah. I will say, I don't think anyone's scrutiny of any of the tales
they tell about being six or younger would hold up to anything that's
been put through this.
So like every every knock against Oprah in this capacity,
I am wildly sympathetic to. I'm just like, I don't know.
You're talking about when you were six and you're doing it in front of presumably
a bunch of like white producers and network executives mostly.
So it's like, you got to do what you got to do sometimes.
I am surprised that I pretty much uncritically just
every thing that Oprah ever said about her childhood,
I believed, I repeated it in my fifth grade report.
Sophie, I don't know if you did too,
but like the thing about the dolls
and her first getting her first pair of shoes at six,
I specifically put that in my report.
And now I'm like, dang, should have fact checked that.
Five grade us.
I know, terrible journalists. Should have fact checked that. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Fifth grade us. Ha ha ha.
I know, terrible journalists.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Oh man, yeah, it's a, I'm always fascinated
by like the vagaries of memory, you know?
Like the past is not just a foreign country.
It's, it didn't happen.
It's a fantasy. Yeah.
It's a fiction.
A little bit of a dementia.
Right?
It's a fiction novel that you've been writing
your entire life without even knowing it.
Anyway, go sleep on that everybody.
We'll be back in a couple of days.
Oh wait, Plugables.
Yep.
From us?
Yeah.
Yes, yes, yes.
Plug.
I'll just go.
You know this is racist.
That's my podcast.
We have the premium shows at suboptimalpods.com.
I'm trying to think. Mostly just been talking about this amazing celery salad
I made the other day. I've had it three times since I made it.
Well done.
Celery, lemon, shallot, and dates.
OK, that's it, actually.
It's pretty... It's a crazy ass salad.
I put blue cheese in it too, but, you know.
And walnuts
Bridget
Definitely making that salad
Yeah, listen to my podcast
there are no girls on the internet about the exploration of the intersection of identity and social media and
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Listen to Nocturnal on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
He was a Boy Scout leader, a husband, a father.
But he was leading a double life.
He was a monster, hiding in plain sight.
Journey inside the mind of one of history's most notorious killers, BTK.
Through the voices of the people who know him best.
Listen to Monster BTK on the iHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Hey listeners, I'm Lauren Bright-Pacheco,
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