Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Ep115: The In-between W/ Robby Hoffman

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

As always , Thanks for watching! Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content: https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 WATCH DEATH CHUNK HERE : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytsilX-QL3s&t=2s Podcast Merch Here ! : https://www.coldcutsmerch.com/collections/bein-ian-with-jordan-podcast Support the show and get 10% off the VacuGlide or the original AutoBlow Ultra with code SKA at https://www.autoblow.com Support the show and get 10 free HelloFresh meals. Head to https://www.hellofresh.com/FREESKA Follow Jordan Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/jordanjensenlolstop/ See Jordan Live! : https://punchup.live/jordanjensen WATCH JORDAN’S SPECIAL HERE : https://youtu.be/MoBkkw66NWY?si=ffcJnn9HuluWrW4l @jordanjensenlolstop  Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! : https://punchup.live/ianfidance IAN FIDANCE | WILD HAPPY & FREE | FULL STAND UP SPECIAL: https://youtu.be/-30PenMy1O8 Follow Robby Hoffman Here : https://www.instagram.com/robbyhoffman/ https://linktr.ee/robbyhoffman Listen Too Far Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/too-far-with-rachel-kaly-and-robby-hoffman/id1698936800   https://www.patreon.com/toofarpod Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced/Edited by: Ethan Dupree https://www.instagram.com/e.dupree/ 

Hey everybody, come see me live. I'm going all over October 3rd to 5th this weekend. I'm in Houston, Texas at Houston punchline. And then next weekend, Nashville, Tennessee at Nashville Zanies, October 11th to 13th. And then I'm going to Tulsa, Oklahoma, Tampa, Florida, Homestead, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the Pittsburgh improv shout out. I love it there. We're gonna pack it out and have a good time.

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Come see us both. Tell us you love the show. Pick up a piece of merch and live your best life. Enjoy the show. We love you. Bye. Telling jokes and having smokes, riding bikes all through the night. It's a wild ride when When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt So wild ride When you're being Ian Being Ian And life is shit but you're positive Let's find out what it's like to live a life Being Ian Being Ian with Jordan.

Oh, we can interview Coyote. Welcome back to another episode of being Ian with Jordan. Shout out Korn. Shout out amazing concert at the Prudential Center. Will you hand me a military gun? Oh yeah. Shout out military gun. Ian Shelton on the pod. He already did the episode, but I got that for you. Saw them at Baby's All Right. Amazing. Isn't that great? It's your favorite color.

Are you going to cut it? Yeah. Like your little, um, New York parks. Manic. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Robbie, do you want to wear a band shirt and join us? You can wear, you can wear a CMI conservative military image.

Shout out. No? Don't talk until you're on camera, please. Don't talk until you're on camera, Robbie. Robbie, what are your pronouns? She goes, who cares? What if what if Robbie's Instagram profile was pronouns? Who slash cares? That'd be kind of cool. Yeah. Really like yours. She hurts my feelings. Mine are. What's Lucy? dog? They know. You like this, right? Aww!

Oh, sweetie pie! Do you hate this? So, wait, are you guys dating? What's the dynamic here? No. That's my dog. Are you a lesbian? No. Are you, you're a lesbian? Yeah. Are you a woman? I don't, yeah. Kinda. Biologically speaking. Don't abandon our crew, dude.

I'm not abandoning, they're just changing shit on us. No, you stay a woman, say I fucking love being a woman even though I'm a dude, that's what I do. I'm biologically a woman. Yes. And I kind of have a boyish quality about me. Yeah, me too. We don't have boobs.

Yeah, I cut my tits off. Get the fuck outta here, Coyote. You just make friends like that? She's the cutest thing in the world. So wait, you're straight. Yes. And you're a fag, kind of. I'm a fag. I'm not the guy. But do you have a girlfriend? No. Do you have a boyfriend? No. I'm a single guy. Are you on prep? No. I'm not gay like that. Well, how do you tell somebody doesn't care about the cutest puppy in the world? She's nobody. Dogs, it's over.

We don't care about your dog. Can I tell you something? Look at the little baby. It's fine. It's fine. No, I don't. Well, never understand this. Listen to me. It's great to you. It's not to me. I hear you. I understand. But I like I know I can't. You're a grown up. You's great to you. It's not to me. I hear you. I understand. But I like, I know I can't.

You're a grown up. You need to control yourself. Listen to me. There's no judgment coming from me about your relationship to dogs. What's coming from me is curiosity. Okay. Understanding the other side. We understand that you, we understand you like the dog. No, but I don't understand your side. So I'm trying to understand. There's nothing to understand. Just let me ask you questions. The tiny baby fox head is laying in your lap. What does that feel like that a woodland

creature from Narnia is decided to sleep on your lap? It's fine. I've had better feelings and I've had worse feelings. She's nuzzling. Are you a cat person? I have a cat. I love my cat. Fuck your cat. Stop that. Cats. I love cats. Fuck cats. But I don't love all cats. That's a cat dog. The problem with that, I don't like cat dogs. If you're going to be a dog, be a dog. Don't bring me this. Listen to me.

Do not bring me this type of a cat dog. Did you see her Mickey Mouse face? I like, no, I don't. Grownups need to calm down about their dogs. Listen, until you have a child, that's the closest thing that you get. Don't side whistle, don't side whistle. Until you get a child. I have a dog by the way, because Gabby has a dog.

So we moved in with a Labradoodle, thank you very much. And I prefer the cat to the dog, as does she and everybody else. I'll take your dog then, because that's abuse. It's not abuse. For both its mothers to hate it? That's how I grew up. Is terribly behaved and unable to listen to simple commands.

Cannot sit. Wait until going Trump cannot sit. Cannot sit. I might eat the dog. OK, but pause. Just I want you to take one moment and I'm going to stop. I'm taking you look at her head sleeping. I can. It's great. I feel like it feels fine. You know what you have such a jealousy. I do. Can you lean forward and look at her smile? No touching my body's nobody's body but mine. You have your own body. Let me your body. I'm

touching my dog's body sixth grade. I'm talking my body. Nobody's body. That's how they get in. They start with touching the dog's body. The's how they get in. They start with touching the dog's body. The dog has asked me and the dog has consent. The dog doesn't like that you're unconsensually touching us. May I consensually touch the dog? You may.

Yeah. When we don't acknowledge people's dogs, it's as if it's so personal. It's we've infantilized ourselves so much. It's not about we have done this. Oh, Cowboys since the beginning of time. Sturgill Simpson wrote a song called Sam all about his dog and how is the love of his life? You know, it died and he's never going to get outside.

She would sleep outside if we lived outside and it slept outside. She you're an outdoor dog person? Get the dog out of the house! That's kinda bad. I don't agree with that. Get the dog out of the house! We had a friend who had an outside dog. His dog's name was Cinnamon. What's an outside dog? Why are you doing that?

Look at the light. Cover, cover! Also! That'll help. Oh. Oh, my God. Is it? Do we smoke cigarettes inside here? You don't. You don't. We used to.

But we don't. Why you all have butts in there? Because he does when I'm not here. It's unacceptable and it's triggering. Now, you live here. Yeah, I live upstairs. And how long have you lived like this? Since 2007. I've been here.

Do you have COVID? What do you mean, live like this? I don't have COVID. May I share your thing? Say that my dog's perfect? Perfect. Yeah. What do you mean, live like this?

This is what we just talked about when we went on a walk around the block. Men live. It's inexcusable. We've been tantalized. Oh, here we go. Robbie breaks a dance. Here's the thing about dogs. Women and their pets. Here's inexcusable. We've been fantasizing. Robbie breaks it down. Here's the thing about dogs.

Here's about women and men. Women are no longer having children. They're glorifying pets and men. You're not having children. And I've, what the hell am I? We don't even know. The in-between. Exactly.

I can talk shit about that. In-between. If you're gonna talk shit about my dog love, I'm gonna talk shit about your I don't know who I am thing. That's perfect. Am I allowed? You are, of course. You're allowed to do whatever you want.

Then you should just be a masculine woman who is a man. You know what I mean? This is my thought. If we're gonna attack dogs, I'm gonna attack my jihad on dogs. My whole thing is words have never been the most important to me. Exactly.

Semantics is not something I care about. Some people, they do nothing but the words. Some people, the only thing trans about them is she her pronouns or he him pronouns or they pronouns. Yeah, shave your beard and have some tits. There are people who go by he him and they wear a dress and they're as feminine as they've ever been. And they go by he him and they harp on.

Because those people prefer that other people transition for them. Those people prefer that you do the work for them. I don't live in that space. I don't want anything from anybody. I never have. And I just like to feel how I wanna feel for myself. So as soon as I heard you could get rid of your tits,

perfect. You know, it's like some women want a bigger tits, they get a boob job. I wanted the opposite. So I got my boob job, you know, and, and for me, the most important thing is to feel good being me, to be the most me. It's not what people call me. And it's certainly not a words. It's how you feel.

It's how I feel, but some people, they got nothing else and they need to be perceived. I know, but the way I feel, I don't want to be perceived. I don't care if I'm perceived, if I'm not perceived. And I don't care how you perceive me. Then if you have to choose women and support us. I don't choose any, I support nobody but me. No gods, no masters. I mean, maybe God.

But if you're a woman making these very, very educated ideas around being yourself, don't pull it on my dog's face. I love this. It can go to her. This is an episode where I just watch. You can go wherever she wants. She doesn't know that vape will make her a popcorn lung and she's a baby. Now she's fine.

Oh, boy. She's been through worse in this city. Listen, I'm four days before my period. I'm probably saying, OK, so you get a period. Scissor me. Of course, I get a period. Is there me because we're both women and that's something we understand. So, so you get a period. Scissor me, of course I get a period. Scissor me because we're both women and that's something we understand. So if you've said, I know, but here's my beef. When people say, I just want to be myself,

which is non-binary or mask or not mask, mask is not a mask. But why do I have to say anything? You don't have to do anything. But my jihad is if you are, if you are I am Robbie and I am woman and who I am is this somebody without tits and somebody who loves themselves. You know what, truthfully, I am Robbie and I am woman and who I am is this, somebody without tits and somebody who loves themselves. You know what?

Truthfully, I don't love the word woman and I don't love girly things. Is it because it's man with woe in front of it? Cause it's kind of weird. Yeah, it's just like, we got all the shitty words. Like dudes, they get to have a dick. We have to have a pussy. It's like- That's why I'm asking you.

You think I don't know- It's a little, they get hard. We get wet and moist. The language around it, had I been around thousands of words. I thought you said you didn't care about words. So I don't care that much. But I just like. Seems like you do. I don't know. You have a diet on your necklace.

I've never identified that I'm, oh, I'm a woman. But I also, I feel like it's girls and guys. I'm a girl, if anything. That's fine. But I'm just saying. I don't know, woman feels like a lady. It feels like so demure. That is because up until since the beginning of history.

Nobody says like, oh, you know, I'm going out with this, you know, woman next to me. If somebody is a friend of mine said I'm going out with a woman next to me, I'd be like, what are you? What is she? 73? I say that. You say I'm going out with a girl. Don't yell. You've been yelling the whole time. You're right, you're right.

I thank you for recognizing. Well, my head's here and their head is over there. You can use whatever pronouns you want. Well, you and Coyote, that's multiple people. How about cunt and bitch? All right, welcome to the man hour. I'm just saying if you're gonna be an educated person who makes the decision, then you should, in my opinion,

you should take- Don't say you should. Okay, one, I believe that it would be good for humanity. If you, what would you do? What I do, I don't feel like a woman, I never feel like a woman. I don't feel like a man, I feel like somewhere in between, and people go, that means you're gay. That means you're trans.

That means you're not binary. But why is it hard for people to understand that people tend to vary? And though you feel like that, some people feel differently. I agree that people vary, but I'm just my my issue with it with a lot of people I know doing a thing where they're like, I don't like girly things. I don't like women. I'm like, then be a woman and show that those girly things don't necessarily mean women. They are doing that. I know they are doing that. That's what I'm saying.

So then what's the issue? The issue is if men get everything good, it is up to the masculine women such as us to say, we are also women. I don't consider you masculine. Okay, I bet I'm probably 10 times more masculine you in things that we do throughout the day. OK, let's have a dig off. What do you do? I box, I do carpentry and I ride

a motorcycle and I know everything there is to know about trucks and I don't have a cat. OK, OK, I I don't do such masculine things. I fuck girls. I don't fuck. OK, so it's she chopped her tits off. That's I have no I fuck girls. I don't fuck. Okay. So that's. She chopped her tits off.

That's super masculine. I have no tits. Okay. I have no tits. I also have no tits. They're strapped down every day. Okay. I don't, you know, put sun in my hair and curl my hair.

I don't curl my hair? You know. I don't curl my hair? Do you think I curl my hair? I know about cars and I know about watches. I hung out with her earlier and she had curlers. Thank you. I don't curl my hair.

No, she didn't. Thank you. She doesn't curl her hair. So anyway, but here's the thing. So, okay, so your issue, what do you want me... You put gel in your hair and pull it tight. Mine, this is loose, bro. What do you want me to do?

I want you to say, I am a woman. Fuck everybody. Being a woman can look like why. Why do I have to explain anything for my comfort? I'd like you to go back to the lab and reinstall your tits. No, I don't really get the tits thing. Tits are if you're not having so what are you are you binding? Yes. As much as I can.

No, she's got the Lord's binder. She's got a cup. Yeah, I have a cup. But I also don't bind because it actually can cause problems. But I wear a sports bra every day. Yeah. Yeah, I binded. And as soon as I heard, I don't know, I just I I think it's OK to be annoyed by people and what people are doing. But I don't think it should affect like somebody else.

Like if somebody is a he, her, he, him, you know, feminine dyke wearing a dress, like, yeah, it's not my cup of tea, but fucking do you. I don't, I just don't have kind of any problem with people tending to vary. I don't have a problem with varying. I have, I think what it is is it's like, say it's like you're against people eating meat, right?

Say I'm a vegetarian and you eat a steak. And I say, you know what, it's my job to go, why do you eat that steak? And you go. But see, then it's not your job. I think you gotta get out of people's business. No, I know, but that's what you're saying. That's like the difference of how we're feeling

is you're like, everybody does their own thing. And you poke in, we were always taught not to, you mind your own fucking business. I don't feel that way. You know what I say to you? Mind your own fucking business. Yeah, I totally, that's what everybody says to me. And let's mind our fucking business until.

But the only way to mind my business, right, is if, is, would be to shut up. Yes. And that's not gonna happen because that's everything I'm against. So if you, if we sit down and I'm like, we're're two masculine people and I get I did get consent. Can we talk about this? You said yes. Yes. No, I would have dropped it. We would have gone. I don't care. Right. But because you don't care. It goes like this. Because I don't have such a strong opinion about the woman

like I get the woman thing. I know people who have a strong opinion. I just don't. I have strong opinions on many other things. I have strong opinions about animals. I have strong opinions on many other things. I have strong opinions about animals. I have strong opinions about lots of things. That one, it's just not one that roughs me up like it does you. There might be some projection on your part, and I would encourage you to look in words about what you're feeling

that you're projecting this outwardly onto others. Because is there an insecurity? Is there inadequacy? Is there a masculine insecurity? Is there an adequacy? Is there is there a masculine insecure? Is there some type of insecurity about the ways that your masculinity isn't being seen and you want others? You want other people to not be seen the same way? I think you oversee your masculinity. Probably. I don't know what it is. I'm just spitballing what it could be. My that your behavior is such that you need to get into people's business. It's kind of like, you know, some guys they talk about and you see them on podcasts.

Some guys will go on a tangent talking about if you kill an elk and, you know, a polar no, men will talk about random things like aliens, or they'll talk about, you know, just very random things. They want to focus on, on, on aliens and AI and hunting game. And it begs the question for me, why are they talking about all these other things instead of going inward, talking about themselves and figuring out what the real issues are. Well, you've been hanging with the wrong fellas. Thank you, Ian, because it's interesting when there's a zeitgeist shift

and every one of my masculine friends who is on the job site with me all of a sudden is like, you know what, I'm a man or I'm trans and I'm I don't want to be a woman anymore. I go away, but we were the ones we were these masculine women. I understand. But things change. And some people will still be with you for that. And some won't. Right. I totally get that.

And I'm not going to let you leave here and like give you a brochure or anything. But I am when I have the option to have a conversation with somebody who's open. Very few people are. Yeah. I'm really going to do it. Yeah. I mean, I'm fully comfortable. This is something that I'll agree with. I'm fully comfortable disagreeing with people. Um, I, you know, I am very okay with conversation. I was born. I'm one of 10, 10 children. I have nine siblings and I was born in a house with, you know, nine others already there. I'm raised with, you know, I had no, I'm saying, oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm seven. So I have three younger six older. But basically my whole life shared a room with a few of my sisters. And it's basically like we were all very different. And at the end of the day, we have to go to sleep. I couldn't go to my own room if I disagree with some sense like, OK, we have to agree to disagree lights off. Let's fucking sleep. So I am very comfortable. Yeah. Having conversation.

I think what the elite do and what rich society does is they impose their way of living on the greater population, which is typically poor. So because they have space, they can shut down things. They can police what you talk about, what you don't talk about, because if they have a disagreement, they can shut down things. They can police what you talk about, what you don't talk about. Because if they have a disagreement, they can go to their own quarters. If you have a disagreement with their sibling

and you're rich and you have your own room, okay, you go to this room, you close the door. I can't just get away and close the door. I have to be confronted. And the poor you are, and especially in urban environments, you're living close together. So conversation is more required or talk, you can't get away necessarily.

But I find that this idea of censorship is dripping down mostly from elites who would prefer to have censorship because they're uncomfortable. So it starts with things we grew up that everybody accepts as things not to talk about. We don't talk about politics, we don't talk about money. Well when you're poor you don't have the luxury not to talk about money or not hearing your parents talk about it because you maybe share a room with your

parents or they're one wall over and you hear everything. So you don't have the luxury of not knowing about some topics. So you have to talk about money because you're asking for it. You're asking for it, it's a part of your life. And and politically, you don't always have as much luxury because it affects you more, whether you're I grew up on welfare. So food, you know, different programs like that. I went to Head Start social programs. So it affects you more politics, whether you know it's politics or not. You end up talking about.

There's also an intellectual level. You can get people if you're around a waspy dinner, you know, in the Hamptons or something. And you're talking about programming. That is- And rich people, if you're around a Waspie dinner, you know, in the Hamptons or something, and you're talking about politics or especially money, the reason they don't wanna talk about it is because it would be so embarrassing for them to talk about it. And we've just had to live shameless lives of,

you know, of living out in the open with stuff we may be uncomfortable to talk about, but we have to. Same goes with my gender identity crisis stuff or whatever. It's like, you know, in my family, me doing this, my brother Shane is like, what's this you're cutting your tits off? There's no not we're gonna talk about.

He's like, ah, I think it's sick. And even Catholic people who are poor don't talk about it. I mean, there are Irish Catholic poor people that don't talk about shit. A lot of it is just like, I think there also is like an intellectual bandwidth, because even like if like Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson will get into a drag out fight about it, Peterson is like, what dumb people think is a smart person. Oh boy. That's her favorite. That's her favorite. No, but he really,

you know, he really speaks in such words, salad that he goes out of his way. He was a he's an intellectual religions professor. But now with all this crazy shit, he's completely retarded. Yeah, he's not speaking properly. There's something really off. Called being addicted to Xanax. No, it's called having to preach shit that you don't actually. I mean, when he talks about religion, he can talk about tales and history and stuff like that. being addicted to Xanax. No, it's called having to preach shit that you don't actually,

I mean, when he talks about religion, he can talk about tales and history and stuff like that. And now that he's going on his own. I don't believe him a lot of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you should. He talks out of his ass and he talks in word salad. That's like somebody who's lying. Like you can tell somebody doesn't know

what they're talking about the more convoluted they make the sentences. I think he doesn't believe in what he's talking about. I think that he got dopamine hits that he's not getting from his clonopin fix anymore from people going, yeah, all right, all right. Because when he was a religion professor, his whole thing was like, I'm getting these incels

to believe in something so that they get out into the workforce. And now he's like, and he used to be like, that's supporting. And trying to get in. Huh? But that is, but now he's like, I'm in a different world.

Down the full thing. But I think it's how you were raised. But I also do think that there's like I there's a culture that is not educated and wealthy. And that's who can't talk about it. There's elite liberals who can talk about anything and who are all about transparency of the money they make. There's, you know, altruistic businesses that are like, I give this amount, you know what I mean? But it is just like rich people who are born into money can't say they were born

into money so that we don't talk about that. Yeah. But I also think, yeah, I think when you're when you're poor, you have to work with, you know, 900 illegal immigrant Mexicans in the kitchen. So being like, I'm against immigration becomes weird because your buddies in there, like you're way more meshed in so many different cultures. I do agree with that. weird because your buddies in there like you're way more meshed in so many different cultures. I do agree with that. Anyway, folks, if you want to see stars, you need the VacuGlide by AutoBlow, classified as a male milking machine. Interaction is

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berries by plant. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals just by going to hellofresh.com slash free ska. F-R-E-E-S-K-A. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. I think everything is true. I think everything is true. Yeah, everything is true. So this is the issue with me. There's almost no perspective I don't understand or I don't, you know, if I, you know, this is an extreme, you know, like the Israel-Palestine, let's go there.

You know, when I hear it from the Israeli side, I go, I hear you. You're totally right. When I hear from the Palestinian side, I go, can't argue with that. Everybody is 100% right. And I can, I think perspective has a lot to do with everything and I just, I don't know.

I think anybody who's trying to get everybody onto their side or the, I don't know that that happens. We just need tolerance of all the sides somehow. I don't know if that's possible. I think nothing is possible. I think everything is possible. I believe everything and I believe nothing. Yeah.

There's a few things that you care about deeply. Yeah, my girlfriend. Yeah. There's a few things that you care about deeply. Yeah. My girlfriend. Yeah. But rape probably like some there's nothing that you're like this. Oh, the only oh, you mean like in socialist shoes? Yeah. Like there is there something that has not been a massive concern for me.

Unfortunately, nobody's really looking at me that way. Not that I want them to, but it is a little insulting at the level it's happening. Well, hey, I know. You know, give me a minute. Thank you, Liam. No, I mean, socially, I'm only concerned with poverty and income disparity. So when you talk about these issues being big issues, I do think a certain way you've taken the bait.

When you talk about a Jordan Peterson who jumps on every piece of bait, any small lure. I feel like the only person who hasn't taken the bait. That's how I feel. You take a lot of the bait because you talk about gender stuff and whatever as if it's like a massive thing until we're talking about income disparity and poverty, we're really talking about nothing in this country. Because that affects everything. I agree with you. I agree that talking about that is important.

And I also agree that taking the stance not as a poor person, but as a woman, that's from which I can talk. And that's the thing where I get most activated because I am. But I think that that was fed. We forget that the powers that be put these issues on the table for us to squabble about while they distract us from the fact that the rich continue to get richer. I agree with that. And I think that trickles down from the media.

But, you know, in to maybe distill what Jordan's saying, I do think there is a thing in the zeitgeist with, you know, gender, sexuality, and maybe it's, you know, because we live on the coast or the industry we're in, but it does seem like it's this groundswell of happening more than it ever has, and it's hard not to take the bait when you do see people taking extreme action in, you know, having surgery where they get rid of their tits or they're having surgery where they're getting rid of their privates or this becomes surgery where

they add giant tits. Yeah. Or what's the issue with these people doing this? Well, I think I would just say that I think that is a distracting force in a way where that's in the zeitgeist and it seems to be pushed along in a way it never has been under the guise of like, no, we need to accept this and accept this. It's like, well, at what point is... But I wonder why this is so talked about. Because non-glitzy issues are not able to be talked...

Poverty is not fun to argue about. People are like, yeah, well... Well, exactly. It's sexy. We're talking about the minutiae of chopping someone's tits off. And so that's more interesting than going, yeah, we're all fucking getting our throat stepped on. That bothers you. If a grownup gets massive tits. So you don't like when grownups do things. Grownups? Like if a grown person wants to get a massive boob job, that's a problem for you? Yeah, unfortunately. Okay, well. I think women are changing themselves out of being women.

I think they're becoming cut. But let's say they are. That sucks. Why does that suck for you right now? They might not cut, they might, you know, we've ebb and flowed for years and years. There's always been different kinds of revolutions, culturally, sexually, politically.

Specifically women have gone through a lot of it. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Women are put upon and we're, you know, there's, there's, there's its own thing, but you know, it's like people go, well, trans kids. I also don't take the bait on that. I don't care about kids at all. I don't really care about the kids. I will be honest with you. It is a woman thing for me. Yeah, because it's like, it's like people go, well, trans kids. I also don't take the bait on that. I don't care about kids at all.

I don't really care about the kids. I will be honest with you. It is a woman thing. Yeah, because it's like, it's like, okay, if you transition your kid and they regret it, I'm like, okay, there are people, you know, that's the whole point of this country, you can basically have kids and do whatever you want to them. And we don't, we don't stop parents, you know, we keep kids poor in this country. So it's, oh, okay. The, the, the few rich kids who have the ability to transition

and maybe they regret it. I'm like, there are parents who let their kids have McDonald's every day and give them diabetes. Because it's cheaper to do that than to make a roast at home. There are parents who let their kids ski, go down a mountain on two sticks. I think they should be denied access into the hospital for any injury. I mean, this is a what did you think would happen?

You went down a natural resource on two sticks. I mean, it's just so parents get to do whatever they want. Grownups, in my opinion, can do basically whatever they want, except kill people. You know, I don't really, if somebody wants to get huge tits, I'm like, okay. And well, I like me cutting off my tits, did that bother you? It doesn't bother me because I've had so many thoughts about it.

And I've been like, that would be sick. But see, imagine, but then why can't you extend that grace to somebody who's had so many thoughts about wanting tits? I can, and I do. They're my friends, I do. And I get it, and they explain it. It's more so the big-

But why does, yeah, go ahead. It's more so the like extreme forms, the getting the lip filler, stuffing your face with Botox, getting all of the tits. Why? Why is it more so? Why do you get like? Because we're falling into the biological imperatives

of men in order to survive. Men, women are trying to make themselves look more and more attractive because of the gaze of men. Yeah, but also I'll say men are also doing this now more than ever where they're getting surgeries, they're getting hair plugs, they're getting these implants. My girlfriend loves all kinds of enhancements and stuff like that. And she's, I think it's less,

she's actually dressing sluttier, she said. And she likes like, you know, she loves getting her nails done and she loves getting facials and just all these kinds of beauty things, you know, that we're speaking to beauty things is like self care, but I'm saying that she says she dresses way more for herself now that she's dating me and way less for guys she wears and she wants to, you know, be sluttier. So I don't know. I think maybe that's for you. But I think there's been shifts in that mentality, too. Can I say I think

the shift is less under the male gaze and more of the absolute self-involved, narcissistic world that we're increasingly seeing ourselves in, which is, you know, if I'm changing my gender or I'm getting enhancements, it's more eyes on me. It's more, you know, self-obsessive thoughts. And we look at someone, an older woman that's getting a million facial surgeries to the point where they look like they're a fucking puffy faced cat. And we're like, clearly she'll never be happy. This isn't going to fix anything. But then if we

see someone, you know, having a transgender journey, we're like, well, they're doing it. So they it's good for them. And it's like, no, you'll never be happy with these exterior changes that you're making. You have tattoos all over. And it's like, no, you'll never be happy with these exterior changes that you're making. Yeah. Because I was masking emotional pain with physical pain and I keep getting them done because I'm not happy with the visible skin I have and it's not making me better, but I keep doing it. Okay. But these people have their own journey to go through. Right. And I'm saying that's fine, but I feel like we are. And some of them do say they're happy. Right. Like I got top surgery.

And if you're thinking about it, it is way better than I even thought. And I'm somebody, I'm somebody. I'm somebody who I really gave it a lot of thought because with the tattoo, I said, you know, if you want a tattoo, you wait a year. If you still want it, you get it. So I've never gotten a tattoo.

I've also never even wanted a tattoo. So that a year. If you still want it, you get it. So I've never gotten a tattoo. I've also never even wanted a tattoo. So that was easy. This, I heard about it. I was like, well, Robbie, you want this? You wait, not one year, two years, this is surgery. Wait two years of development. It's the best thing. It feels 10 times better for me for whatever reason.

I don't know why. Maybe it was society, maybe it was, doesn't matter. I feel great. Yeah, but I'm not against, I'm not against doing that. I'm not against changing your body in every way. I've had plastic surgery. I'm not against, what is? So you're just into hypocrisy as a-

It's not hypocrisy. But it is hypocrisy. It's being a woman. You can only understand your exact same experience. And if anybody varies from that, it bothers you. It's you biologically are a woman. Yes.

Right? I agree. So you saying I'm biologically a woman, but I am a man, right? Say you say that. You don't say that. You don't. But say all of the people that I know

who remove their tits are usually like, I'm a man now, right? As I go, no, you're not. You're biologically a woman who wants to present mask. Sure, but well, okay, they can, but you don't get to. I don't get to do shit, dude. There's nothing I can do. I only get to talk.

Let's say they say that first of all. We don't know. Maybe there is something in their head that's a man. We don't know. I know plenty of people who are actually like phantom limb style. I mean one of my basically my best friend's sibling, who's like my sibling, full trans, could not fathom the idea,

when you said, hey boy, get over here, it was like a double take, oh me, you know? That makes total sense, I'm talking about people who are like, I never really felt like a woman, and being a man is better, I'm gonna be a man even though I'm, I'm like, you can make there's a there's a conscious choice that you can make to expand the perception of what a woman is.

And if you can do that, if you're in that vicinity, do that. Because being a woman is becoming your girlfriend. That's that that's what it's shifting to is is why you're so you're existing with her. I'm like the last one. You're not, I'm right here. Okay. Yes. But if, if. But it's not true.

What do you mean? So you're not the last one. I'm not the last one, but it is, but you are shifting. Aren't you they, them, aren't you non-binary and. No, I'm anything. I I'm she, her, I don't give a shit. You're anything anybody wants. I don't. Yeah.

I really don't care about doctors paperwork. Female. OK. I think I believe that or anything. Just don't call her late for dinner. Guys, I like that and I like that. But I know. But but so what if you don't

like something like it feels like I'm getting pressure to either be trans or be more feminine? OK, but see, That's how I feel. Okay, but see, that's a you thing. You've got to look at yourself. I'm looking at other people and going, stop getting big, big titties.

But you are thinking too much about other people. You are letting them have an effect on you that is unhealthy. No, I'm looking at the zeitgeist of society. No, no, no, no, no, no. You've gotta learn. The zeitgeist says choose to say gender. You've gotta learn to trust yourself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Keep it inward a little bit. I can't do that. That's not who I am. You sound like you have a lot of internal struggles and it comes out.

So many. And, you know, but one of them has to do with a lot of this stuff. And that's why it does make you angry. And other people are maybe living the way that you would maybe want to live, but you can't because feel inhibited. You might want kids, but you don't want your tits. So if other people can't have their tits, nobody should. It just there's something conflicted personally.

I don't know exactly what I want. Women to stop abandoning being a woman because being a man because you've abandoned it a little bit. I'm a woman still. But you've abandoned it. I was abandoned being a woman. Well, you're wearing men's pants. These are women's pants.

Whatever. These are women's shoes. OK. OK. So you OK. So you what? You fix trucks. It's manly. Everything I do is manly. Okay. Great. So you're abandoning being a woman. I'm not abandoning. You should get in the kitchen. A woman does certain things and you are abandoning in small ways. You're abandoning being a woman. You're abandoning. You're abandoning. You're abandoning.

You're abandoning. I you're abandoning and you're making loopholes for yourself while you're, you agree on one love that you're very manly, you've abandoned certain ways, womanly ways of doing things. Yet at the same breath, you say you hate when other people do that in their fashion. You've decided to abandon certain norms. They're abandoning the semantic term woman.

And you're abandoning, you know, the role of being in the kitchen woman. That is also a woman. We are all women. We are all women. If you have a vagina, you're a woman. But you are abandoning, and people who abandon women are also women.

Exactly. So why are they abandoning women? Because they're women. They can. They're a woman. They're allowed to do whatever they wanting women? They can. They're a woman. They're allowed to do whatever they want. But they don't say they're a woman. They say now I'm a man. Because you know what?

They get to do whatever they want, just like any other person. So get the bitch about it. I think you I think you'd bitch a lot less if you looked internally. I look internally. I think if you took off that, if you if you didn't worry about the the side effects of binding, you'd be thrilled. Binding, you'd be thrilled with no tits. But because you can't do it because of the prospect of maybe having children, you're fucked and you're angry. I'm not I'm not fucked.

You are. You are. You don't get to do everything you want to do. That's not true. I do get to do everything I do, but I'm watching. Would you cut your tits off if you weren't going to have kids? I wouldn't. I wouldn't cut my tits off because I have a huge surgery scar and I don't like the way that it feels. OK. But if you didn't, not for any reason. Can you get. If I went like that. Vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. OK.

I don't know if that's true. I kind of like my tits. There's something there. No, there's something there. I like my tits, I like them small. No, there's something there. You don't like them. You're justifying.

You want them gone. And you have all these hangups about it. It's not true. I think you know what I'm saying. And there's a slow migration where all women are becoming cum girls and the rest of them are becoming non-binary or trans

and the masculine women are having a fucking flame put to their throat being told that they're lesbian or they're trans. I think it's a small amount of the population. I think most people are poor. I do not think the hysteria that you're exhibiting. I'm not in the poor zeitgeist, that's a whole different world,

they don't have time to think about these things. That's what I'm saying. Well, they're- Yeah, they do because they're not working. Anyway, go ahead. Anyway, I'm happy that we're starting to crack you. And I'm excited to see the growth that comes. That's because all your type people are groomers.

Anyway. Okay, so it's the faggot on the couch. Yeah. So Ian, you've been living like an animal for how long here? type people are groomers anyway. OK, so it's the faggot on the couch. Yeah. So, Ian, you've been living like an animal for how long? What the fuck is that? What do you mean? Go back to this whole fucking boring

talk. OK, so you tell do you have questions? I've invited to this pod. Nobody has questions for me. I like them to be in a sports show because I like athleticism. I just love being a guy. What? Yeah, but it must be amazing to be a man, though. No, it sucks.

It's everything sucks to be a woman, to be you, to be me. Everything sucks. We all have our own form of suck. Everybody has their own form of struggle. It's I do feel like any time a man expresses some sort of thing that deviates away from any sort of perception of what we should be. We get shipped for it. And maybe I'm projecting because I get shipped. Can I say one thing? You can say whatever you want. There was one moment in which we connected on an intimate level, which is when we said we both were PMSing. That's all I'm going to say. That

was the one moment where we physically touched. We had other other moments. No, that was the biggest moment. But there's some other moments. That was the biggest moment where we physically touch. We had other other moments. No, that was the biggest moment. But there's some other moments. That was the biggest moment where we touched and said, we both have reproductive problems right now. And that's being a woman. That's important to for me to look at you and go, I'm four days off my period and you to go, me too.

And that's to be we are fucking women, dude. I have no tits. I fucking box. We are women. That's important. It's so. No, it should be important to all women. But it's not that important to me. Poverty is very important to me. You're not poor, so you're not looking within.

Yes, but I'm very concerned with the people I come from. Very concerned about the poor and where the country is going. Is that concern or is that guilt? No guilt. I want to be as rich as humanly possible. I'm in this system. I must play it. But I really think we have to change the game so more people can play. I really think if it's the focus on things like this, the trans

the trans community, which is a very small percentage of the population, extremely small. And not as small as it used to be. Sure. And and the poor is only growing. Right. The amount of poor is exponentially grown in a way that is really so jarring. So, yes, this is a distraction, but at the same time, you can't blame people for being distracted when there's such a fucking like, I don't blame. I blame the powers that be.

I blame the media. I think it's all not necessarily that it's puppet mastered exactly, but I think it's all inherent by design to have us in fighting instead of working together on helping each other. I think we're all poor is the truth. I think, yes, I'm not on welfare, but I think, you know, unfortunately in the grand scheme of things,

if you're not in the 1% or the 5%, you are poor in this country. Middle class is beyond, beyond shrinking to the point that we have- It doesn't exist anymore. Most people are poor, then shrinking to the point that we have most people are poor, then there's the uber rich, and there's a few in the middle, we need to bring the rich down to the middle and have the poor lifted up to the middle. I do I mean, I do think we need to tax the rich. And I think we need to

de bloat the government. And I think we need to de-bloat the government. And I think we need to go in there and just somehow. You're Bernie, you're pro-Bernie. Very pro-Bernie. Me too. I write Bernie in every year for every election. No, I was beyond pro-Bernie and yeah. Yeah, the DNC fuck Bernie and then everybody thinks the Democrats are their fucking best

friends. And I saw someone, I saw a t-shirt with the bad brains logo that said Kamala Harris. And it made me want to fucking puke. The fact that we've all been tricked into thinking that this is the new cool thing and that the Democrats are the answer and they're texting us every day asking for money is so fucking gross and disgusting. Democrats, established Democrats, established Republicans, that is the same team. This is the rich versus the poor. They control the poor. They work for the family.

And anyone that thinks differently is a fucking mark. I'm okay with pushing Tom at this point though. Yes. I hate both. Do I think she's an increment better? Sure. But I really think until the government works for the people. The government works for companies by way of lobbyism for people who don't know, but basically companies pay

people who work in the government to push through their agendas, which happens to give them more money. So the people raise all the money through taxes. So all of your money goes to the government for taxes. Instead of dispersing that money back to people who need all of your money goes to the government for taxes instead of dispersing that money back To people who need it. It's dispersed to the government. So we pay we subs Sorry, it's dispersed to the company. So we pay companies on top of it. Never mind that there's more egregious and you know systems like That even have the public financing companies even more.

For instance, people know about if you work at Walmart and they don't give you full-time, they don't give you full-time shifts. What that means is that you're also on welfare and you're working on at Walmart, which means that we subsidize through welfare wages for Walmart. Right. So I talk to this stuff a lot, unfortunately it's not as fun as well. People are getting double D ticks, you know? And that's, I really wanna bring it back.

You know, issues should be more boring again, and they should be issues and they should be problems. And if we don't focus on all this distraction stuff, we have a lot more in common, which is that we're all poor. The issue is you're talking about the seed in the center, which has basically created a vault, right? I mean, trying to overturn the electoral college

would help, and we've tried to do that. They don't let us in. Trying to deal with taxes, trying to reduce the amount that we put into the military, all of this stuff, there have been so many things, and they've vaulted all the doors on it and they've left people and they go, now people, you do weird stuff.

And then that we do weird stuff and I'm on the outside going, hey, the people are doing weird stuff. And then we bump up against the vault occasionally. Yeah, but the weird stuff is just not, is a red herring, it's just not the issue. May I just say the thing about the weird stuff I think people are getting up in arms about and the trans issue is becoming bigger is because now instead of elective surgery, people are looking at it

as a life saving surgery, which would then be covered through health insurance or taxes. And so people don't want to pay for your surgery from their pocket. And I think that's why it becomes a bigger issue. Right. People were not outraged that we paid Wall Street when they crashed it from our pocket. I agree. Yes. And Obama bailed out the banks. But that is way, exactly, that is way more money than 20 trans surgeries a month.

I understand, but again, it's another thing that is useless to distraction. I understand, but it's useless because it is so immaterial. I don't care about trans surgery money. I don't even care if women become... It's so immaterial when we're talking about the amount of money that goes to companies who have the money to begin with. It is so immaterial, but also it is not worth talking about. People get upset about the lobbying from the Trevor project and other LGBT funded areas. I don't get worried about that because that's always going to happen. No, but I understand. But I think that that's why people get upset because they see that if you get hooked to transition

as a child, you're on the hook to Big Pharma for the rest of your life because you need medications to then align with how you feel. Because if you do not take them, then you start to become dysphoric. So you are just hook line and sinker along for the ride, which is why I think a lot of people are against the whole trans idea. I know while they are, but I need these people to outwardly look. So to pull out, I need these, what I would want from people is, okay, this is a small issue. There's a thousand issues like this. We need to pull out what would help everything on that issue. If the medical is

yours, the medical system. Why is it for pro? If it's for profit, then you encourage this type of behavior. Why is it for profit? Because they take they take for granted the poor. Well, just like the jail system, it's completely for profit. And there's nothing done to rehabilitate and incorporate these fucking poor men and women that go through the system back into society. And there's, I mean, even the simple fact of getting prisoners, fucking cats to tell them to get them to take care

of something that's not themselves and they get a cat to have on good behavior. And then that can help them reintegrate into society. They don't want to do that. Reintegration is not the issue. I exactly don't want to do that. They don't want. We could do. We have. These are for profit. Wait, what's wrong with that idea? No, that's a simple fix to help people to get back into society. I was going to say that's a bad idea. I don't know. That's a great idea. I saw you look and I was like, am I hitting something weird? The idea is to keep people incarcerated. Yes. So they're not focusing on reintegration. I'm in agreeance with you. Or we would. Yes, it's to keep people incarcerated and it's to keep legal slavery going. And I also think-

We have full slavery in this country and it is mostly black people and they are in prison. We have more black men enslaved at the prison system than there was involved in slavery. Literally. I would believe that. I didn't know that. No, it's the truth. But I assumed that. Yes. The only way you can get the oodles of money you want is off the back of that system. Capitalism is the big. Yes. Like you said, the seed and it's so incredibly important to try and get the reins on it. Try and. What are you going to say?

Vote local elections and shit. I mean, that doesn't do anything. No, it doesn't. Oodles of money. I want it now because I have to be in the system. Yes, it's way better to live in this system. That's why we're in this system. It's not because of that. Yes, it is. No, we have it's corruption.

People who move to Texas to dodge taxes are saying the same thing you're saying. I'm in the system, therefore I want, therefore I want to make the most money. But we're not. I don't work in politics. I can be corrupt. You work in politics. I can be corrupt. You work in politics by wanting to be wealthy. The desire to be wealthy is what keeps people poor. That golden carrot is what keeps people poor. There are people who are supposed to be keeping the reins on this thing, and that's what government

should, it used to look out for the people, looks out for companies now. So we're totally off the deep end. When it was a turd off of England, just so we could do it. No, it's fucking SDR and fucking before the Federal Reserve and everything. We let the government, we were driving for the people to keep safeguards so that people like me who are trying to like sling, it's like, oh, actually, you can't sell that diamond because it's not registered, whatever the thing is. And so, yeah, you can, you know, it keeps you, it keeps rails, guard rails on things.

We don't have guard rails because the government- Yeah, and JFK tried to do that and they shot his fucking head off. The government was supposed to be guard rails. It no longer is. It's now a pusher for companies. Agree with me in the comments. We agree it's far.

It's like Reagan. It's very far, but I'm not gonna stop crying about it because it's far. I'm not gonna go further down. Yeah, but what does crying about it do? I just think America is built off of slaves. Well, we had a Bernie movement. And that's never gonna happen again.

We had a chance as R.F.K. Jr. and he decided to tell everyone he had worms in his brains. He's rich-hearted. Yeah. And he also can't speak. I can't listen to this man. I know. I'd rather listen to Biden's Sutter through.

There's never going to be a third party Bernie candidate ever again. No, Bernie was out of chance. In 2016, I feel defeated. But you're so short sighted. I am a short sighted guy and that's why I have glasses. Is he yelling? I have glasses.

Can I have your vape? Is this pod going well? I can't tell. Yeah, it's great. Really? I mean, it's my favorite type. I like it a lot. I like this. Ian, I wore this necklace for you and I've gotten zero compliments. I like it. I said I liked it

because it has a dog on it. It has a dog and it's supposed to be a productive dog and I wore it and because Ian inspires me with his jewelry. He has such nice jewelry all the time. And you wear it good. Thank you. Like you wear it good. Some people in jewelry. It's not a good. I don't agree about the. His rings are great, but I don't agree about this necklace. Oh, let's see the necklace. No, it's terrible. It is pretty bad.

Don't need you to like everything. That's terrible. But I wore this for you and I'm getting no like you're looking directly at me. I haven't had a chance to get a word in edgewise. It's not fitting perfectly yet. Can I tellwise, and that's fine. Perfectly yet. Can I tell you, it's because your whole outfit is perfect. Oh, good. So to point one thing out, the abacrombie over the white shirt with the worn thing is perfect, the loose jeans and these shoes, all of it's

the glasses. I mean, I can tell you went from a Brad Summer to a cunt fall. OK, you how many times you want to say cunts again? Are there any words? Bitch. Faggot. Dyke. Are you a dyke? See, they're going, no.

You're not a dyke? Nope. Tried. Don't like it. You fuck men? Yeah. Don't like that either. So what do you do?

Crisexual. She's like Zool. Wait, are you asexual? I'm as either. So what do you do? Crows, she's like Zool. Wait, are you? I'm asexual. Oh, you are. No, no. Wait, are you asexual? I fuck men. But you don't like it. They hurt my feelings a lot.

She's got a bad picker. I have. Are you two getting together? How do you guys know each other? We're best friends. Since when? Seven years. Seven years. Six other? We're best friends. Since when? Seven years. Seven years? Six years.

We've been friends for that long. Do you do comedy? Yeah. What the fuck? We haven't never crossed paths. You don't know I do comedy? No. I know Ian. I didn't even know you were here.

He tells me nothing. You just let me come in hot like that, not knowing that- Let's go. I thought you work in mechanics. You said you work on trucks. You let me attack you like that? Just thinking that I'm a dock worker.

That's what I thought. You said you work with all those Mexicans and your buddies on the trucks. Am I wrong here? I'm a comedian. Let's see who has more followers. You probably have more, I'm not so. I'm gonna check. I'm gonna check. Cause I know You probably have more. I'm not so. I'm going to check. I'm going to check.

Because I know about Robbie. Well, I, you know, people know about me. Let's just check. People know. She has a lot of insecurities. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of insecurities. I knew Ian was a comedian. I've loved you for years. I don't believe you. I've loved you for years. I've heard your name a million times.

A joy to watch. You've never heard my name anywhere. I've loved you for years. Every time you come, a joy to watch my name anywhere. I've heard your name a joy to watch. We have mutual friends. Any letterman's are mutual. Very nice. When I first came to New York at the Creek, she's lying. No, I'm not even joking. You never always was a good guy. You've never heard of me from any friends.

I was always a little intimidated, but you were always wonderful. Oh, you're sweetheart. Thank you. Why were you intimidated by me? You've never seen you just so many in. No. You've never. None of our friends have been like Jordan. Nobody. Never come up. There's no way we have so many mutual.

I know. But you know what? You know, Ian's name has come up and I know Ian. You're and we know we ran into each other at the store. I begged him to come on the. I didn't know it was your. Give me my vape. Did I not? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You didn't know it was what you don't know about.

You never saw me do very well. It made me feel very good. Yeah. Because you want to do well in front of your, you know, people that you like. And that's what happened. I said it's time to be on the pod, but I didn't know about you. Thrilled to know about you. Now you didn't know about the pod. You never seen a clip of the pod. I saw a clip of the pub. I thought to know about you now. You didn't know about the pod. You never seen a clip of the pod.

I saw a clip of the pod, but I thought maybe you were a guest. I don't know that I knew. Okay, so you have seen me. Who'd you think the Jordan? I don't know that it's you. No, you knew I did comedy. In being in with Jordan once.

You knew I did comedy. Who'd you think the Jordan was? You've walked through the cellar when I'm in there. We've been at shows together. We've seen, we've been around each other a million times. We performed together, you think? No. Oh, okay, I said. We've been around each other. million times. We performed together, you think? No. Oh, OK. I said, OK, I don't I wouldn't know.

Unless we're on the lineup, how we never talked. Did we ever talk? No. So then how do I what would I know? Because you've seen my face in multiple comedic places. I would be able to point you out. That's fine. So I don't know. Don't come in here and say you don't know.

Do you do comedy? You knew I did comedy. I promise you. You swear. On my mother, I did not know you did comedy. I promise you, I thought you worked in mechanics on trucks. We've literally been in the same venue.

I thought she was a female mechanic lesbian. This is what I thought. You don't want you wouldn't even think Ian would have a podcast with a mechanic. I did think you said best friend. So I said from where? Because I I was like, if it's not comedy, what's it from? Maybe the neighborhood. I thought we were dating at first.

Yeah, I thought maybe you were dating. Oh, that is true. Oh, they dated. We've been in the same place multiple times. But you've never said hi and you knew me and you know what? That's rude. If you knew me and you liked me, why not pay me a compliment? I never liked you. Why not pay me a compliment? I just know about you because people go, have you seen Robbie Hoffman?

I know because you were at the cellar yelling at somebody some days, a couple days, a couple weeks ago or something. What was I yelling about? I don't remember, but they're like, you Robbie was yelling at somebody. I know because you're dating my favorite bachelorette. That's how I know you. Yeah. Shout out to Gabby. I love you, baby. Ian was just so wonderful to watch every time I see you doing stand up.

I'm thrilled for you. You're sweet. And we've talked at the cellar. We've eaten together. Yes. We've had meals. I mean, broken bread at the table next to you've eaten together. We've had meals, I mean. Broken bread. I know, I've been at the table next to you. No, I don't think she was. Why wasn't Ian talking to you?

Huh? Because he was talking to you. And I'm not rude and I let him talk to other people. Appreciate it. Yeah. We got a thing going. Yeah, this is great. We got a thing going too and it ain't good.

It ain't good. I don't know if I will say hi now. I don't think you should. I'd be a little nervous. I'd be a little nervous. You should. May I please borrow your vape? No. Do you live in L.A.?

Do you live in New York? I live in L.A. All right. Well, that makes more sense. Weren't you just out there? Didn't see you. I was at the store. I saw you. Yeah. Wonderful. We performed at the store again.

I did a hat trick at the store when I was out there and got passed. So you'll be seeing a lot more of me, Robbie. OK, well, you know, I'm not past at the stores listening. Oh, is that right? Oh, is that right? Excuse me. Let me call them and ask. No, they said you're still not past. It's such a shame because that guy, Adam, really liked me. He's now at Mothership, he's put me on there,

which is nice. Wait, is that true? You're not past? I'm not, no. Oh, that is crazy. It is a little crazy, but you know what? I didn't know that I was supposed to be showcasing. I just do shows there.

Oh. It's Whitney's show, it's Annie's show. So, but apparently Emily just spoke to me that I should be showcasing. But I always thought that when we're in that little room, that it is a showcase room. They told me that was a showcase room. Everything's a fucking showcase. So I thought the belly room that they're watching you because I thought that was

the showcase room. But so I didn't have the process down. But you're both wonderful standups accomplishing your own rights. Good. Good. So who had more followers in the end? Me. And. Bucker. By how much? A lot. Well, you're posting clips. Followers post a lot of clips of me making fun of trans people. Thank you.

Well, it's because you, by the way, you have internalized transphobia. No shit, Robbie. No shit. By the way, I have it too. Because shit, Robbie. No shit. By the way, I have it too. I hate your girlfriend because she's beautiful. I've never been a beautiful girl. I was a big fat whale, okay?

I can never take my shirt. Huge. I can never take my shirt off, so I'm mad at every woman that can. And it'd be easier for me to be a boy, but unfortunately I'm not a boy because I love boys, okay? But none of the boys love me because I am a boy. So yeah, I'm a little pissed

that you get to have your cake and eat it too, okay? Okay, there we go. There we go. There we go. Give me my vape and dog. The dog doesn't want you. The dog has the dog. The dog wants me.

That is a line I will not cross. The dog. Coyote, Coyote. Hey, she's not listening. She's not listening. She's not even responding. Coyote. The dog has chosen. It's okay, coyote. I know. Yeah, I know. I'll look into into the paperwork.

Let's see what we can do. I don't know if you can move to Galveston. I don't know. I'll have to look into it. I'll kill you with that knife in front of me. I'm sorry. She has she's such a jealousy. It's crazy. I love your necklace, Robbie. It looks great. I think it's stupid and dumb. I do have to leave soon. Well, I think we're at 60 minutes. I think we covered a lot. And I I'm surprised because I thought this was your podcast yet. We've talked zero.

It's our podcast. It's all of ours. But I didn't know you would be here. I thought Ian and I would catch up. Well, I'm leaving. So you have plenty of time to catch up. No, I'm taking. I got to call this Uber.

So y'all have plenty of time to catch up about your gay shit. OK, what are you doing tonight? You want to go see a show? I'm going to see Angel Dust tonight. You want to go? No, you know what? Gabby is at the hotel and this hotel, they're forcing us. Your bachelorette is at the hotel.

A bunch of women hating women is what you are. Yeah, there is forced to we have to spend thirty dollars a day to stay at this hotel. An ad charge. So we're going to each get a glass of wine. Hopefully it's a charge.

Like they say, you have to spend thirty dollars at the hotel. Maybe you give us like people. You want so much. Well, you're leaving now. OK, give a hug. Give a hug. You're so nice to me.

Such a fun. I'm a huge fan now. Oh, the dog is. Oh, OK. The dog. I OK. I love you. I hope you get that. No more than many people. OK, thank you so much. So follow for a follow.

It seems follow for a follow. Follow for a follow. follow for a follow. It seems follow for a follow. Follow for a follow. Follow for a follow. Did you know she did stand up? I just found out. I just found out. I'd love to see her one day. So you're not dating anyone? No, you're on the apps.

I'm a single fella. I was on the apps and I Think I'm done. You're done. Yes. So how long are you gonna live here for? Well, I've been here since 2007 and I Moved out in 2008 moved back in 2012 same apartment same room. Why? Cuz I love it cuz my name was on the lease. the lease. I was the first leaseholder in this place. And you live here alone now? What are you paying? It's pretty good. What are you paying?

You can bleep it out. Very good. Yeah. Very good. Yeah. Two bedroom, two bedroom upstairs. This whole subbasement for years. We had four guys in here. This used to be a bedroom. That was a bedroom.

That's two bedrooms upstairs. Did you ever hook up with any of them? No, they're all my friends. I've never been more of a crush on boys or girls. Girls. Really? Girls love girls girls. Love women. But you could have a wife. I could picture this for you. You could get a girl.

I'm always nervous about long term. Why? Trying to get to the bottom of it. I fall really hard and then I, you know, I isolate a lot. So it's hard to navigate. You know, I want my cake and I it's hard to navigate. You know, I want my cake, and I wanna be able to eat it too. I wanna-

But you would fit in with this poly disgusting community. Yeah, yeah, I think I would. And I have some gripes about it because it seems so disgusting, but in a way I've always felt that love is something not reserved for one person always, but multiple people. So then are you going to do poly? You should find a polycule that'll have you. I don't know. I just think that again, I mentioned it earlier,

but I fall prey to it, but there's such a narcissistic feeling of the polycule where you're just obsessed with yourself the entire time. Cause it's all that talk, like you have to just. Yeah. And it's like this is what happens when people don't have a traditional family, is they have to find these other things to distract themselves from just like working and raising. Do you have your cat here? Yeah, he's upstairs.

OK, I think we've done it. Fair. I started to lean in and get excited. OK, well, do you have any questions? Any further questions? I mean, honestly, no. Honestly, no. But you know what? We love each other and that's all that matters. And I've always had an I've always just enjoyed you. I've always had admiration and respect for you as well. And it's always a pleasure seeing you and spending time with you.

Can't wait to see you at the cellar and the store and all the places Jordan doesn't go. And I really enjoyed hearing you and Jordan discuss in an open- She has a lot of insecurity. Honest way. What do you think her most, her biggest insecurity is? Well, that's about the show.

Well, I am Robbie Hoffman. What do you want to plug? What do you want people to get eyes on? Follow me on Instagram at Robbie Hoffman, R-O-B-B-Y. I'm going on tour in Canada for a month. And I got a lot of interesting stuff coming out, television-wise, that I can't speak to now. Amazing.

You'll see a couple of deadlines. You'll see the Hollywood Reporter. Amazing. We're on top of it. Fantastic. So follow me for all the updates. Robbie Hoffman. Yes. Yeah. And subscribe to my podcast, which the New York Times calls Addictive Too Far.

We will be back with Too Far in October. Wonderful. Yes. And you can see me live in your town, Houston, Texas, Nashville, Tennessee, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Denver, LA, Baltimore. I'm just booked out a bunch of funny bones coming up in 2025 and I'm going to be at a bunch of improvs. Oh, Pittsburgh improv, Cleveland hilarities, Ianfiedance.com for everything. Punchup.live slash Ian Fiedance to get my mailing list and for all my tour dates and tickets. Patreon.com slash B&E and pod. We love you. Thank you

so much. Thank you. And Punchup.live slash Jordan Jensen for her dates and tickets. We love you. See you next time. Bye. That was great, thank you.