Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Episode 026 : Cousin Sheri W/ Sheri Ciprane

Episode Date: January 25, 2023

Ian's cousin Sheri Ciprane came by the Delaware Den and things got wild! It's a really fun time, hope you guys enjoy it! As always, thanks for listening! Please Sub to the Patreon for early episode access and bonus Patreon only episodes/content! https://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod Visit http://babbel.com/SKA for up to 55% off learning a new language Go to https://GreenChef.com/SK60 to get 60% off, plus free shipping! Follow Jordan Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/jordanjense... See Jordan Live! : https://www.jordanjensencomedy.com/up... Follow Ian on Twitter, Twitch, and Instagram: @ianimal69 https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69/ See Ian Live! : http://www.ianfidance.com/calendar Follow Sheri on Instagram and see her LIVE! : https://www.instagram.com/sheri_baby11/ Please RATE, REVIEW, and SUBSCRIBE to Bein Ian with Jordan on all platforms! Produced by : Jordan Hayman Produced/Edited by: Ethan Dupree https://www.instagram.com/e.dupree/

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being Ian

Being Ian Life is ride when you're being Ian, being Ian. Life is shit, but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live a life being Ian, being Ian. With Jordan. Yes. You're. I know. Ghostbusters, baby.

I was always Egon or Peter. And I know that Adam was always Ray. Adam loved Ray. Yeah. Yeah. My brother. And you were always Winston. Yep.

The black one. I love the black guy. The black guy was the best. Yeah. He was the best. Cause he was like the blue collar, like rough and tumble guy. Because he just named him J-O-B. Exactly.

Ghostbusters. We used to play Ghostbusters in the backyard at his mom's house. Good old Gale. Back in Delaware. I've never seen the Ghostbusters. What? Nuh-uh. Are you serious?

What? No. Blasphemy. We are going to do a watch thing. Movie night. With Ghostbusters. I don't like watching movies for kids. No!

It's not a movie for kids. Are you serious? Come on. Have you seen The Matrix? I've never seen The Matrix. I've seen The Matrix. I love The Matrix. I don't like watching Louis for kids.

I'm Neo. The Matrix is the best movie that has ever been created. Take the red one. It's not about pills. It's a metaphor for life, bitch. You know what it is? It's very much a straight edge mentality. How? Because it's

get into the real life and don't fucking numb yourself to. Yeah. Not cool. Yeah. Shit. The coolest. You can't say we're straight edge. Sherry don't play.

Can you be straight edge if you used to? You can't be straight edge if you smoke cigarettes or do Adderall. We're not straight edge. Want to hold hands? Yes. Oh. I love you. Kumbaya.

I got this. You got that. You got this for me me That's not $400 That's like $35 What is it? Did you look it up? Is it a bullet? No

My friend Gave that to me And was like This was worth $400 No It's a tie clip It's a tie clip Handmade

Studebaker Metals Pittsburgh Sexy It's heavy too It's heavy Can you look up Studebaker Metals tie clip See how much it is And I guarantee It's not $30's heavy, too. Yep. It's heavy. Can you look up Studebaker medals tie clip, see how much it is, and I guarantee it's not $30 fucking dollars.

Okay, I'm going to guess realistically $65. Okay, I'm going to guess realistically $135. Did you give me a sandwich even though I said not to give me a sandwich? No. Oh. Did you want one? Yeah. You know what's so...

Stop. Stay focused. Studebaker sandwiches. Studebaker. Studebaker sandwiches Studebaker Studebaker Oh You need a new headshot buddy Why?

Because Because you need a new headshot Which one did they use? Huh? What headshot are you using now? It's him smoking a cigarette But the smoke Makes it so he's not very clear

Oh And you really need a Oh is it the one where I'm like It's the one where I'm like... It's the one where you're like... Where am I like... Yeah, that one is fine. Although punchable.

No, that's Ian fucking finance right there. I don't know. He can do whatever he wants, baby. That's right. That's right. Ian Fidici right there. Ian Fidici. Come on.

It's $50. $50? $50. Yeah, that's a damn expensive tie clip. It was literally less than I guessed. You's $50. $50? Yeah, that's a damn expensive tie clip. It was literally less than I guessed. You guessed $35. I said $65. That thing's heavy.

Well, whatever. They also gave me this bracelet and this ska ring. Beautiful. That's really nice. Kiss the ring, baby. Kiss the fucking ring. I want like a nice solid object. Studebaker medals.

We'll get it for you. Next time I do Pittsburgh Improv, medals. We'll get it for you. Next time I do Pittsburgh improv, come. We'll do a live podcast and we'll get you some Studebaker mats. Yes. What's a mat? Medals. Medals. Look, my eye has been twitching for a month.

That's a sign of PTSD. Yeah. Yeah. Don't look at me like that. How do I get rid of it? You're probably stressed. You probably are having some sort of... I think it's because I've been telling a joke about people's eyelids switching.

You have low potassium. That's what I was going to say. Really? You have low potassium. You need to eat a banana. Could it be too much screen time? Nah, you need to have low potassium. Eat a banana.

Low potassium makes your eyelids switch? Yep. How do you possibly know that I know so many things about stupid shit I mean that's a really how did you know that you have children

you're a dad God bless you here's another fact something's wrong over there the light's on is it usually on it was broken for a long time it needs to break again it feels like a walmart over there look at that yeah well good thing it's not on camera and doesn't matter

speaking of kids uh ian you need to reproduce man what yes what the fuck are you talking about just talking to them about that you need to to have fucking kids. Carry out the bloodline, man. No. Yes. My name dies with me. He's the last finance. And when my blood falls into the soil, so does my name. Hey, same.

Yeah. Same with my brother and I, too. Right? Yeah, Darwin experience, whatever that is. Theory is true. What? Just like, that's it. Read off the idiots, you know? Yeah like that's it read off the idiots you know

yeah that's it no more idiots have a lot of kids that's why i'm not having a kid i i i did think about that of like should i carry on my name i'm the last finance yeah but i think it's kind of cooler to have it die with me what do do you think about this? Okay. I keep getting pregnant. I keep checking, double checking, double checking, making sure it's not a Down syndrome baby, making sure it's not. And then the one time it is a Down syndrome baby, I have it. Uh-huh. Okay. What about this?

No comment. I don't want to get canceled on this one. Okay. What about this? I adopt a Down syndrome baby. Oh. Why would you ever do a thing like that? How many Down syndrome babies are put up for adoption?

Zero. Maybe more. Siri, how many babies with Down syndrome are put up for adoption every year? It's bitch fucking. Right? I know. Every episode. Every episode.

Oh, Siri. I'm starting to see. 27% of the total number of Down syndrome children were abandoned. Yeah. That's what I mean. I am going to adopt a Down syndrome baby. I could be such a good Down syndrome mom. You know I could.

Goodbye comedy. Yeah. Goodbye your career. No, no, no. No. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're going to have to dedicate your whole time and your whole life taking care

of this bed the whole time. The whole fucking time you know what I mean? you gotta take care of the sped dog just sped it up but what if speed it up I could do it I'm on speed they're sped we're going places

driving force baby what if I somebody has to do it nah I don't think so you can't just be left to like a dog kennel force, baby. What if I... Somebody has to do it. Nah. I don't think so. You can't just be left to like a dog kennel. No.

No. That's why they have foster care forever. I met somebody who went through foster care like a lot. That's just the kind of vibe.

Well, that's passed around a little bit. Yeah. I was in foster care for a little while. Were you? Yeah.

Nuh-uh. Yeah. Really? Yeah, two, three years. No. I was in foster care for a little while. Were you? Yeah. Nuh-uh. Yeah. Really? Yeah, two, three years. No. I didn't know that. Yeah. From when to when?

It was about from eight to ten or eleven. Did we know each other then? Your dad might have just passed away around that time. In 93.

Yep. Are you guys related? What do you mean know each other? It's my cousin right there. I've told you this a million fucking times. We're Italian cousins. We're Italian cousins.

Poor people have a lot of tires. We're poor, but that has nothing to do with it. Well, yeah, poor people have cousins. What the fuck, dude? Absolutely not. What? Absolutely not. You got great toes. You should sell them one-only fans. What the hell is going on? The two for a man?

Why are you building them up? Those are disgusting. Put those in the slippers. I have a long... Ethan, this can't... I'm not... Somebody, Jordy, this can't... Why are your toenails so long? I didn't see that part. See, that's what I was sharing. She doesn't concentrate

on the negative. I'm very positive. We're going to go get pedicures. I'll get a pedicure. I'll tickle my feet too much. No, it doesn't tickle if you tell me to. And laugh, dude. I went to a jerk-off spot for a massage the other day. Wait, hold on. Back up. You said what?

I went to a jerk-off joint. Went to a rub-and-tug? For a real massage and not a jerk-off? Just left with a rash bean for you felt worse felt way worse they didn't flick a bean there was like a slutty picture of a woman on the wall the woman didn't even know how to give massages and then i stand up her face is just disfigured yeah she it was crazy you told me to go there oh yeah yeah that place it's bad she tried to jerk me off i said no dude that's all she's good at why'd you say no i had such a bad pain in my back that i had to get two massages in one day

and i went to the one place i swear to god the woman was turning me over and i was like ow ow ow she was like no no you walked on you walked on. You need to relax, relax. And I was like, no, it hurts. She goes, no money, not everything. You need a vacation. And I'm like, money, not everything. Tell that to yourself. You're going to be sleeping on this massage table.

This shit's free, right? Like, come on. She's telling me, I swear to God, she climbed on me. She put her one leg over my shoulder and was going down like this. The other worker opened the curtain and was like, oh my God. And she was like, he's hurting, he's hurting.

Power massage right there. That's where you're going to go. Break your back, baby. Yeah, there's a place called Canal Body Works where he truly just rapes you. Oh, I can't rape the willing, baby. Can't rape the willing. Yeah.

Not that you look rapable. She's loud. I want to be rapable. She wants. Don't say that. Don't say that. Leave me alone, podcast people. You raped? Well, not like they knew it was consensual

rape. It was consensual rape. I live on the first floor. I want to pay. Pay? I didn't mean to say pay. I want to date somebody who will sneak in through the window. Oh, I got you. I know a guy for that.

Shut up. It's just you and a ski mask. Yeah. I know a guy. Who's the guy that would do that? Okay, so I know a guy who, I go to this sex club off of Park Avenue. What? I told you there's sex clubs. Yeah, and it's really fancy.

They have like a locker room. You gotta slow down here. Okay, you walk in. It has to be guy, girl. Guy, girl. Right. That's so fucked up. No, no, because then the ratio will be all fucked up.

It would be just all men and no women. If it's just... No, no, I'm saying it's fucked up that you couldn't bring your girlfriend. Oh, she could come too as long as she goes with another guy. Oh, you're saying it can't be guy-guy. What do you mean? What if you're gay? What if you're a lesbian?

I am a lesbian. I know, but you gotta go with a guy and then the other lesbian I'm with goes with another guy. And then you and the lesbian hook up and the two guys go hook up with people that aren't going to hell. Or we fuck the guys too or whatever. You fucked a guy? Last time I fucked a guy, or whatever. You fucked a guy? Last time I fucked a guy was 2012, maybe.

Yeah. I thought you were Gold Star. Fuck no! I'm about to slay the UN, baby. Come on. No, daddy. No, no, no. The UN.

Just like, hello, I am from Nairobi. May I have the floor? No one get down there yes wow so you fucked a guy 2012 that was last time yeah he was an FBI agent

nice at the sex club at the sex club at the sex club he said I'm an FBI agent dude if you go into a what he was Dominican

right sexy as fuck cut up six pack and I probably weighed 50 pounds Dude, if you go into a... What? He was Dominican, right? Sexy as fuck. Cut up, six pack, and I probably weighed 50 pounds. I mean, I still look good now naked. Don't get it twisted. But then it was even better, you know? But his dick was so small.

It was like a finger. That's why he's in the FBI. He's got to keep secrets. He's got to keep big secrets. That's the biggest secret. It's a hard one to keep. It was. Wait, how'd you... How'd you... Take us to keep. How'd you

take us through it? How'd you meet this guy? How'd you know he was in the FBI? So my boy Ramon, I was working as a part-time teller at this bank, and we were talking, you know, just joking around, fucking around, and he's like, oh, you ever been to

an orgy or whatever? I'm like, yeah, I've been to an orgy. He's like, no, like a legit sex club orgy. I'm like, no. And he's like, it's $300. The an orgy or whatever? I'm like, yeah, I've been to an orgy. He's like, no, like a legit sex club orgy. I'm like, no. And he's like, it's $300. The guy will pay for you $150 each. It has to be guy, girl, go. So it's off of Park Avenue, three floors in like a beautiful, beautiful townhouse. Bring your own liquor.

And then the bartender puts it out. We get up there. We get drunk. Beautiful, beautiful, sexy club. You can wear a mask if you want. You're in a bathrobe. They have a shower, locker rooms. What kind of shoes do you have to wear?

You can wear slippers. They have slippers for you. Those hotel slippers that you slide into. They have private rooms where you can just go one-on-one. Then they have smaller rooms where you can do a whole bunch of people. Then they have the big room where everybody's fucking. They have the bigger room where everybody and everybody else is fucking. Bowls of condoms?

So. People hand-hand condoms. Oh, there's condoms everywhere. Do you have to get tested to go? Where are the dirty condoms? No, not back in 2012. You didn't. Maybe now.

I don't know. Where are the dirty condoms going? That's a good question. I didn't. Maybe a wastebasket on the side, on the flip side. You know, just like. Are people kissing? I never kissed a bitch there.

I'll suck your dick, but I'm not kiss you yeah hell yeah okay are people dressed up do people have makeup you can wear a mask if you want they give out masks oh my god it's like that movie with nicole kidman uh eyes wide shut dude it's kind of like that so how did you meet this guy did you talk Ramon oh yes my yeah this guy did you talk to him beforehand no we met on the steps and what happened smoking yeah we're smoking so I smoked he didn't smoke and he's just like hello my name is so and so and I'm like hello hello no no Ramon's my boy the other dude was um and he's like yeah like what do you do for a living he said he's an FBI agent. He said, what do you do? I said, I work for a bank, whatever, whatever.

And he's like, so we're going to have fun tonight, right? And I was like, yeah, let's go. So we just, we go in. It's the first time I was introduced to Mama Wana. You ever heard of Mama Wana? Mama Wana. It's this rum that's with sticks, right? Yeah.

You ever heard of this, anyone? It's sticks. Yeah, right? Cinnamon sticks. Cinnamon sticks, right? And I don't know, They marinated and whatever. Black the fuck out and had the best night of my life. How do you know?

Because I know I did. You know what I mean? Wow. Yeah. Should we go to a sex club? I could bring you. Could I wear? I definitely don't want to see my cousin fucking, but like.

Could I wear a parka? My shit may happen. You could wear whatever you want. They have masks, whatever you want. But could I not be naked? Yeah. You could be a voyeurist. There's voyeurism as well, where voyeurism is where you just watch.

You don't have to touch anybody or anything. That's gross though, because the smells. No, they smell good. Really? Because one time I was at a gay bar and they had go-go dancers. That's different. And this guy had like such a fat ass and I was like, well bar and they had go-go dancers. That's different. And this guy had such a fat ass and I was like, well,

I'll eat his ass. And I took a big old chomp and it was, I mean, whole butt cheese from Munda. No, don't say butt cheese. What do you mean butt cheese? It was from Munda cheese. Right. Down under.

From under where? From under his butt. The goose, baby. The tainted goose. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It was gross. You stick your tongue in men's assholes? No, I don't anymore. I don't anymore. Women, do you do? Oh, yeah. Me too. Tonsil D.

I love that. Me too. Hell yeah. You don't like it? You're missing out. Have you ever had your ass eaten? Yeah, but it tickled torture. No, they're not doing it right.

They're not doing it right. They're not doing it it right. They gotta calm you down a little bit. It's almost like they gotta make out with your butthole. Yeah, nice and easy. But then what if they try and kiss me after? Then you man up and kiss them. That's a coli poisoning. It's illegal. Well, if you're not clean. What do you mean? Everybody is.

I have OCD. I wipe until there's blood. But everybody still has poop particles from every... Well, a guy hit my ass and he tried to kiss me and I was like, please don't. Yeah, dude. You know, it's so weird. And he was fucking me and he kept going, you liked it? And I was like, it's all right. Leave me alone.

Oh, that guy. Shut the fuck up. He put his hand over my mouth. I was like, can you stop? Let me dissociate. That's what I want to fuck is a guy who's doing that. Going, you like that? And covering my mouth. I was like, can you stop? Let me dissociate. That's what I want to fuck, is a guy who's doing that. Going, you like that?

And covering my mouth? That's great. I do that, but I don't like that being done to me. The last guy I dated would perfectly time it for right. I was about to pass out and give me like sips of air.

How do I find that? Yeah. Hell yeah. I know, I know. It was really good. I love being choked until I almost die. Yeah.

So close to death, dude. I fucking love it, man. You start to black out and then you're like, yeah, see the spots, see the spots. Ah, yes, dude. I always cry after that happens.

You do the safe word. Oh, you cry? Yeah, but it's good. Are you in therapy? She broke up with me. She broke, the therapist broke up with you? She said I need a better,

more heavy artillery. Yeah, I can tell you in your head a lot. Yeah, more degrees. Yeah. But I'm not in my head when I'm getting choked out near death and that's why I cry because it's like the one moment, it's like runner's high is what it feels like where you're just like clear headed. Yeah.

But then you're also getting plowed out so it's clear headed and feels good. Right. I think it's like heroin. Sensory fuck. Oh, have you ever done heroin? No, but I watched those dudes fold it over and I'm like,

that's me getting choked, you know? Uh, it's fun. But do you like when you cry when the guy like is soothing and kisses you back to feeling normal? Oh, aftercare.

Yeah. I've been listening to it. Yeah. But after, yeah. Aftercare. Yeah. Aftercare. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. I always yeah aftercare you have to aftercare yeah yeah

definitely i always need aftercare yeah but i really don't want any of that during no no fuck no it can't be during yeah i fucking eat the pussy up you know what i don't like is when people are like you're a good girl i don't like the good girl thing you don't like the daddy daddy dom shit you don't like that i don't that's the problem i was listening to daddy stuff the other day and it was like who's my good girl and i'm like i don't like that i want freaks you out like the punishment stuff is like you're you've been really bad i want somebody to be like get over your bitch like i want like actual punishment like what if what if it was like get over here bitch and they grab your hair and like throw you on the ground yeah i don't like it i don't like like pinching or like biting like

pain where you're like oh but if somebody like somebody hunts. Like leads you by your hair. That was a good hold. But some dudes don't know how to do a good hold. They do. They got to learn. Yeah. Because you can't get it by the end. You got to get it right by the end.

You got to get it by the muzzle. Right. Or by the hackles. Right. How do they get you? You got like a shaved thing in the back. The top, baby. Like a gear shift, you know?

First, second, third, fourth, fifth, you know, reverse. Reverse. Trooper a reverse. Reverse. Reverse, reverse. Reverse. Cousin, I love my fucking cousin. Reverse is so funny for some reason. Just dragging a woman to suck your dick. No, reverse, reverse.

Slurp, slurp. I take it all four tooth drive. I would also like to dominate somebody. I would want. Oh, you've never done that? Been a dom? You know what it is? I get so embarrassed of dirty talk.

You're in your head too much. Yeah. Just let it go. Just get nasty with it. Yeah, I'm serious. Then you have to like, then you have to like go get like a bagel

after yeah that's fine I definitely do that you're just like let's just ignore the fact that I called you grandpa you know what I mean you know what I mean yeah kinda you do you just let it go

Yeah, for sure I do the daddy little girl dom shit sometimes Are you the little girl? Fuck, no So you're the daddy Do you have a girlfriend? I have a wife When did you get married?

Yep, 2014 October 6th 4th, oh my god you fucking know more than i do look at you put my spanks that's amazing yeah yeah but yeah we had our troubles in between you know open and you know we did our thing in between open we're monogamous now we were open oh you were open. How did that work? She didn't know. But I was open. She did her thing, too. Sucking on a lollipop at the bus stop.

You never know. So wait, you guys were open, but it was don't ask, don't tell. Like the army, yep. Or you were open and she thought you were being regular. Probably a little bit of both. She thought you were like here and there if it comes up but then it would come up a lot and you wouldn't bring it up.

That I know about. Where you're like look if you're you know if it's a thing and it feels like you're never going to see him again and it's a wild you know and then it's like no I have a second wife. You know what I mean my mom is a cheater i just found out we were talking about the when i went home about the pig roast uh funeral she fucked a rugby dude that night a man yeah my mom's a lesbian very much so wait hold on hold on. She fucked a man that night. Should I not say this? Oh yeah, because he's-

No. Dead. Alive. Works for her. Is related. Stepson. Step cousin. Was the funeral director.

The pig was the funeral director. Oh shit. What is he? Whisper. He's married. Married to her sister. Dude. I can't believe she fucked a dude.

I knew it. Amy was like, yeah, that was the night mom fucked so-and-so. And I was like, mom doesn't. What? And I looked over at mom and she was like. Oh, come on. I knew your mom fucked. She was giving me a look when she was on the pond the other day.

She's bi. She's for sure bi. She just hates women because she, I read her diary when she became a lesbian. Ooh, boundaries. But that's okay. That's right. Yeah.

I was a kid. And it really was like, I was, she was like bullied. She's so gay that she just like succumbed to the lesbian bullying. Okay. Which I'm close to doing. Thank you. Hey, man, the vagina is made for penetration, baby.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's made for that. It is. Sometimes you need to be beat up sometimes. Yeah. But my mom has these dicks for hands, so I think that's why women go after her so much.

You should see them. They're insane. They're insane. You okay? No, I'm just enjoying this. Ian looks good. Yeah. Thank you. You look good, man. just enjoying this He looks good Yeah Thank you You look good man

Lost weight You look good Yeah he's really skinny He's always been in shape though Yes yes yes He's always been No he got fat for a second I don't think so

Yeah at the end of his Olivia's relationship She was happy Yeah She was plumping me up I would come home at night And she'd have just meat And cheeses for me

Right and why not Yeah yeah yeah And we'd get We'd go out and get steak. And I think she was a feeder, but yeah, it's fine. Well, you've been eating healthier at the cellar too. Yes. I've been eating healthier.

But what's motivating you? I felt like a fat sack of shit. You can feel it. I hated myself. I gained 16 pounds. I feel it. I felt it. I felt it in my face.

I don't like looking at myself. Right. And I still think I'm too fat. But I also know that I think I do have body issues. Yeah. So. In your head, bro. Yeah.

Yeah. Let me tell you, the girls fucking sweat your dick, though. Whenever I mention my cousin, I do. Whenever I'm doing my little stand-up and I mention, oh, my cousin's eating finance, everyone's like. Get out of here. I swear to God, they're on your fucking nuts, bro. I had to stop telling everyone you were my cousin.

I had to stop telling everyone. Why? Because they were all like, oh, that's your cousin? Do you think I can get on his podcast? Do you think he'll come to a show? Do you think I can suck his dick? Do you think I can fucking? I'm like, wow.

Has he ever gotten you gigs? Has he ever done this? I'm like, no, no, no, no. That's my cousin. Like I said, we're not like that. Like, you know, it's really gross that I found the other day. You know, I found a shirt that I appreciate that I bought. Yeah, bro.

You know me. I found a shirt that I bought from Ian's merch. Like I bought it. Yeah. Hell yeah. No fucking years ago. Why? Because I was a fan.

No. Yes. Of course. Shut up. Of course. Oh, John's wearing one of my merch shirts. Let. No. Yes, of course. Shut up. Of course. Oh, John's wearing one of my merch shirts. Let me see. Really?

Oh, that's so sweet. When was this? See? You're one of them girls. When I was opening for you. You were one of them girls. No, I didn't ever want to go near his. He was a crazy person.

But I did buy a shirt. Oh, that's so nice. Absolutely. But I did buy a shirt. Oh, that's so nice. Absolutely. Thank you. I appreciate that. That's so sweet. When we did that gig in Philly. We did the gig in Philly.

Yeah. But I remember being very, even back when we had the podcast with Ryan, when we tested that one out, I was like, he's not going to do it. He's too big. Oh, stop. Get out of here. You're too fucking proud. You were cool then.

You had gotten cool. You were crazy, but then you'd gotten cool by then. But when we were. You're too fucking proud. You were cool then. You had gotten cool. You were crazy, but then you'd gotten cool by then. But we were in Philly. I watched you eat two Philly cheesesteaks in a row. It was so fucked up. It was really traumatizing. We can't get them.

We can't get them up here like we can get them in Philly. But he didn't stop talking the whole time. Right now, I'm sorry. That's okay. That's okay. Thank you for apologizing though. But he didn't stop talking while he was eating them.

It was actually really scary. He inhaled a, you were shaking the bed of my truck. Really? Because you were jiggling your leg so much. I do that too. My entire little truck, the whole thing was shaking. Well, you had a joke where you said my name because I like gave you advice and you're like, you know who told me that?

Ian Farnance. And I remember being like, do you hate me? What was the advice? You were telling me about some guy and I was like, you know what? Don't let him dictate what you want. You do it. You're a sexual being. Go after him.

Grab it. Fucking man. Oh, yeah. You were like, you're a little set. And I was like, yeah, I am a little sex queen. And you're like, yeah, you're a little sex. And I was like, yeah, I am a little sex queen. And you're like, yeah, you're a little sex demon. I was like, yeah, I am a little sex demon. I was trying to like motivate you. You look so enthusiastic about it.

There was something. What was the end of the joke? I don't know, but I remember someone was like, dude. Oh yeah. Oh fuck. That was a good joke actually. What was it? I can't remember, but I remember being good. Whatever it is, you're fucking brilliant. I've seen you live a few times and you are brilliant. Isn't she great? Yeah. She's the fucking I remember being good. Whatever it is, you're fucking brilliant. I've seen you live a few times, and you are brilliant. Isn't she great?

Yeah. She's the fucking best, man. Brilliant. You was on that James Corden. Dude, James Corden. You know what happened the other day? I've been really down on myself about the James Corden thing. Not down on myself.

Why? Because... Crushed it. It feels gay. Why? Because I was... Because it's like... I don't know. The late night thing just makes you feel kind of humiliated. Why? Because I was, because it's like, I don't know. The late night thing just makes you feel kind of humiliated.

Why? Because you're like a beauty pageant and you're like. My name's Jordan and these are my jokes. And he's sitting back there being like. And you're like, well, thank you very much. And I'm like, this is bad. No, I don't want. But they let me say a lot of things.

But the other day, Kendall Farrell, shout out, texted me and said, check. Look who's on the screen. It was a shitty bar with a screen with me in it. And he said the bar people were going. No way. The bar people were like, I hate comedy lately, but this girl's actually pretty OK. That's great. That's better than any.

Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. You're in your head. You're in your fucking head. Let me tell you something. That's a bad neighborhood. And everyone you're living around are a out of your fucking head let me tell you something that's a bad neighborhood and everyone you're living around

are a bunch of assholes yeah get a gentrify get that fucking head gentrify gentrify your head yeah yeah hell yeah

you're great you're on James fucking court yeah but it's really come on the late night thing makes you feel like like what

like a boss like a bitch like a boss ass baller bitch see that's right you're a boss ass baller bitch see that's right you're a sex goddess baller ass bitch oh yeah not it's definitely not a sellout vibe it's like it's like you'll see when you hear me she's ignoring it but she heard me yeah i went like this i know you give it a wink but she has lesbian moms right two moms three got like a third ball yeah it's a three thrumple

dude one night sherry came to see me at new york comedy club when we get out and one of the comics it was on the show was like so nervous and just like her set was like i was sexually abused like all this stuff and she was like this nervous mouse and we're in the street and sherry's like damn girl you looking good like to grab up on that street and sherry's like damn girl you're looking good like to grab up on that ass and the girl's like i'm nervous and then they were like before she came out there were people in the street arguing and everyone's like oh god these peas are gonna be a fight and sherry comes out she goes oh crackheads in the building. Oh my God. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

Crackhead fight. They're the best fights. Crackhead fights because they don't stop. They just keep going. Yeah. That's a good fight. And then I start betting

with my friends too. I'll give you five. If this one wins, I'll give you $2. No. Yeah. Crackheads are the best fights, man. Because they don't stop.

I saw a crackhead in Detroit screaming at nobody. He was just screaming at somebody that wasn't there. Just yelling, barreling down the street. And then a group of dudes were like, Hey Jimbo,

come over here. And he was like, no, I'm dealing with some. And he goes back to, I, and I was like, I've never seen a homeless guy turn down actual friends for an imaginary

one. I have a theory. I have a theory that crackheads and like people that talk to themselves are just replaying conversations they've had with like their ex wives or something like like because like i should have done this and you know you they're just having an argument with someone that once existed their traumatic past yes going over and over and i agree because you hear them and they're like that's fucking my you know i get welfare and from this date to this date my ebt food stamps are up my My EBT food stamps are up. I saw one guy typing a letter with an imagination.

I swear to God. Yes, he was going, and this piece of fucking shit, and I'll tell you, you think you can... It was crazy, right outside Penn Station. And I was going through it too at the time. And I was like,

write my name at the end. Write my name at the end. Write my name at the end. I'm right there with you. Have you written that down? No. Write it down. Put it in your notes. Put it in your notes.

Yeah. Ian's really bad at saying bits and then not turning them into stand-up. I'm bad about that too. So yeah, Sherry got into stand-up. You're crazy. My inspiration right here. Oh, get out of here. Give me that pound, bitch. All right, Sherry got into stand up. My inspiration right here.

Oh, get out of here. Give me that pound, bitch. All right, you got it. You got it. So yeah, you said it before. Are you writing it down? Yeah. Write it down for me.

Thank you. You're a good friend. You're a good fucking friend. You really are. She is. She's the best, man. She got me such a nice coat for my birthday. I get good vibes from her too.

Yeah. Vibes is a gay fucking word, but like I get good vibes from her too Vibes is a gay fucking word but like I get good vibes from her Yeah right? She's the best man I'm writing down a joke that I said earlier I'm stealing I am texting you Hey what's up gang it's your old pal Ian here

And uh let me just tell you Green Chef is here to help you Eat better and feel better, dumbass. Every week, Green Chef sends you new recipes. I'm tired of the old recipes. I want new ones. Thank you, Green Chef. Thank you, Green Chef.

Oh, I love you, Green Chef. Suck a little in your teeth, Green Chef. And I will do it daily with love, pleasure, and look forward to itiveness. Because you get over 30 meal choices every week and you can switch plans easily. Always find a healthy and tasty meal. They have options for every lifestyle. Keto and paleo, vegan, vegetarian, Mediterranean, gluten-free, being a pussy. Green Chef is a USDA certified organic company that makes it easy

and affordable to eat well i got body dysmorphia between you me and the lamppost i think i'm fat all the time and i kind of i am when i look in the mirror and i grab my belly and go you little oinky motherfucker and green chef is the guy i tap on the shoulder and say, make me feel better about my body. And Green Chef says, oh, I'll put some greens and some stuff in the stewed apple. Let's go. I'm a prison chef from the South. You get handpicked organic veggies so you can feel great about what you're eating and how it got to your table. And Green Chef shows up right at your door

with everything you need. If you're busy like me and you need to eat healthy, Green Chef fits perfectly into your lifestyle. So go to greenchef.com slash ska60, S-K-A-6-0, and use code S-K-A-6-0, ska60, to get 60% off, plus free shipping, 60% off. Plus, free shipping.

60% off to eat healthy and feel better about yourself. I cut out sugar and I feel fucking amazing. Don't you want to be like me? That's G-R-E-E-N-C-H-E-F dot com slash SKA60. And use code SKA60. Green Chef. The number one meal kit for eating well let's get back into the ian sanity we'll be right back after this hi everybody it's your old pal ian here

my hair is wet and i look like a wet dog i showered uh you, if your New Year's resolution is to better yourself, listen up! Nothing makes you sound smarter than learning a new language. That's right. Como se dice? Smart as fuck. Use Babbel. Babbel is the language learning app with easy, bite-sized, yank, yank, yank language lessons. I love Spanish. I love Spanish.

I love French. No, I don't. But I'd like to learn it so that I can impress people and make them think I'm smarter than I am for 10 minutes. And why can't you? Lessons take as little as 10 minutes a day. So you start having real life conversations in as little as three weeks.

Trace años. Años is years. That was a trick for you. And if you knew Babbel, you'd know it. Choose from 14 different languages with lessons voted, voiced by real native speakers, not computers,

none of this beep-boop-bopping, just some natives. Support indigenous people, dickhead. With Babbel, you can access podcast games video stories and even live classics to help you on your way plus it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee that is a viente dies dias day guarantee uh start your new language learning journey today with Babbel, B-A-B-B-E-L. Right now, get up to 55% off, 5% off your subscription when you go to babbel.com slash ska, S-K-A. That's babbel.com slash ska for up to 55% off your subscription.

Babbel, Language for life. Till your Dios de muertos. Let's get back to the show. Thank you. Hell yeah. Typewriter. Whatchamacallit. Oh yeah, just arguments with people in their past.

Oh, so, yeah. Sherry and I. So like, yeah, you were like poor people have a million cousins. It's true. Like poor people have cousins that aren't their relatives. Right. So like our dads are best friends. Her dad, Clyde, my dad, John, best friends.

And so her and her brother, Adam. Don't say my last name. No, I don't know your last name. We're not that close. And so we grew up together. And they grew up like down the road and spend all the time together and everything. So much time together. Every fucking weekend.

How old? Young. I remember him when Gail was in the womb with him. Really? Yeah. So then. I was jealous when he came around. Why?

Because John, your dad was my motherfucking uncle. He was my uncle. Really? Because his dad was so much fun. John spoiled me. His dad was so much fun. Oh, God. John was the fucking man.

Really? Yes. And I know John is I'm from Ian's dad's side. I love go to death. That's my aunt. But John is my dad's best friend. They grew up together. They were in a band together.

They lived together. Yeah. And he was the fun uncle. And then he had his own kid. So much fun. Really? Mm-hmm. Amazing dude.

Funny as hell. Hard working. Blue collar. Punch you in your fucking face if you fucking come at him the wrong way. Uh-huh. Like strong alpha male. The the best i don't want to get teared up thinking about it wow apple fell pretty far from the tree huh no no ian's like that man he was also like a sweet um deep like gentle deep like journals and diaries yeah yeah

really poetry and like yeah yeah he was And like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a very good musician as well. Him and my dad were in a band. What music? They played rock music. Your dad was in a rock band? They played music. Mike Scott.

Mike Scott and him. Yeah. And he wrote poetry? Yeah. And he was funny? So funny. Ian used to crack us up as kids as well. Wow.

Like we would always be busting up laughing. You know that he's the good know that he's good when the... You know the people in your life when they have a kid and you're like, oh, I will literally smother this baby if you take this man away from me. Right. You know what I mean? That is the good uncle.

Totally. Yeah, he's a good, good dude. How close did you guys live together? We lived about two miles away. We saw each other every weekend. For years and years. Our parents never moved out. Did anybody have an above ground pool? No.

Fuck no. No. But all wood paneling in the houses. Our houses were just one big wood panel. Our houses looked like this fucking basement. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So your dads were friends. How did they meet? In the band. They were kids. They grew up together when they were young. They met dads were friends. How did they meet? In the band. They were kids.

They grew up together when they were young. They met in high school. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And then what are, and then, so you're not related. And then do you have siblings?

I have a younger brother. Right. Who sucked compared to him? One thousand percent. I love you, Adam. If you're going to gonna watch this you fat fuck Okay You fat fuck who only fucks married women

And he's not I'm the fucking dyke And he's straight Can't get a bitch knocked up to carry out the name God damn pussy Anyway He only fucks married women? Yes and he won't get them pregnant.

Whatever. Anyway, long story long. Well, they wouldn't take the name. Right. As they shouldn't. But, you know. You know what I mean? They would keep their husband's real name.

They probably should. Yeah. And pretend that it's their kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just pretend that it's the other guy's kid. Like whatever the fuck her wife is doing.

What? Whoa. Don't. Baby. That's not. He cut it. It's not really a black baby. No.

But it looks black. It was just lighting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Lighting. Oh, God. Anyway. I don't know what's happening.

There's just a comedian who posted a photo of himself with his new baby and the baby just does, just because of the photo, looks a little black. But his wife is also very white. You know what I mean? It's like that.

So she fucked an NBA player, basically. We're gonna cut, you're gonna cut all this shit out. We're not cutting it out. He should know. You are not the father! Okay! Motherfucker, manspread it and everything. You are not the father. Okay. Motherfucker. Man spread and everything. All right.

You are not the father. Sherry grew up in Claymont, Delaware. Claymont. Claymonsters. So we live like a mile and a half away from each other, but it was like different worlds. Yeah. I lived in Wilmington. North Wilmington.

And I was like five minutes from the city. So I lived behind like a shopping center. And she lived on like a road. We I live behind like a shopping center and she lived on like a road. We both lived off like main roads. There it is. There it is. Road murder dirter. Yeah, there it was. It came out.

We both have it. Because you're talking about it, it's coming out more. I know, yeah. Whoops. The Delaware den, baby. Wait, so road. But she grew up in Claymont and they, but she grew up in Claymont. Yeah. And they call Claymont, people that grew up in Claymont, Claymonsters.

Claymonsters, shout out. Claymonsters, baby. Which one is Claymonsters? Why'd they call them Claymonsters? Because we're fucking monsters. How so? I don't know. I think it just rhymed with Claymont and they put stirs on the end of it.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It was just like, that sounds cool. Okay. No, I think it just rhymed with Claymont and they put stirs on the end of it. You know what I mean? It was just like, that sounds cool. Okay. Yeah. No. Yeah. Claymont was like a.

White trash. Yeah. Yeah. I dated a guy who's a Coke dealer and very funny. Kind of sexually assaulted me, but you and him would be best friends. I need to introduce you guys. I actually do need to introduce them. I love being friends with people who sexually assault women.

He didn't mean to do it. They're the fucking best, baby! He's a good time. He actually is a very good time. Like Ramon? Holy shit, you guys would be best buds. I am going to introduce you guys. Ramon. No, I'm down to meet him.

Yeah, you guys would get... Is he a comic? Oh my god, no. Gonna get me gigs. Give him a little pussy for some gigs. A little road head for some road work. What gigs are you doing? Where do you live right now?

I live in Brooklyn. I've lived here for 18 years. Really? In New York for 18 years. Yeah, and this fucking bitch, she drives a car everywhere. Everywhere. Never ridden the train. I have. I've ridden the train.

But I fucking hate it. What do I look like? I'm poor. Yes! There's a lot of Chinese tattoos on your body. I've noticed. Just one Chinese. There's a second one. That's a dragon on the other side. Oh no, the girl with the dragon tattoo.

I got that before that book came out. But that's a China dragon. Yeah, and you have a tribal tattoo. Listen, I'm from the 90s. You belong on a subway. I was born on a subway. You were baptized on the two dragon.

Your tattoo is fucking sick. Which one? The Sharpie. The one that looks like a Sharpie. No, the tiger tattoo is amazing. Oh, nice.

I want a tiger tattoo yeah yeah that's one that is beautiful other ones are from the 90s early 2000s as you can tell uh they look like they were drawn on with a sharpie but what's that one say no sin is greater no sin is greater or lesser in god's eyes oh and the eyes are actual eyes they're actual jesus's eyes from a portrait my wife I got married, made me put an apostrophe. That's awesome. Because it was grammatically incorrect. That's awesome.

That fucking tattoo is grammatically incorrect. You see the white track, bitch? He didn't make you cover it up. She wasn't like, dude, this is not. Just put an apostrophe in it. Wow. And she did. Look, I came out in 1996.

I was 14 years old when i came out so it was hard back then in the 90s you know so i was like fuck y'all you don't want to cheat on your wives and murder people well i'm gay and no sin is greater than that oh i see like we're all oh i see we're all sinners and it doesn't matter you stole Whole Foods, you're also going to hell. Exactly, we're all in the same boat. That's so funny that the greatest sin in your wife's eyes is an apostrophe missing. That's awesome. She's a teacher too.

That is so cool. Just don't spell it P-U-S-S apostrophe Y. It also is wild that they forgot the apostrophe, the tattoo artist and you forgot. Claymont, baby. I mean, that is poverty. Writing out a script on your forearm and spelling, literally spelling a four-letter word wrong is amazing.

That's really good. It is poverty. So you came out when you were 14 in high school. Yeah, freshman year. To who? Everyone. I went to Padua Academy. All-girls Catholic high school.

All-you-can-eat buffet. I went to Padua Academy All girls Catholic high school All you can eat buffet I went to You guys and your fucking rings Look at these rings baby And they're heavy That's right We know Delaware

I'm scared Don't be scared Delaware I'm scared 302 302 just kidding you're beautiful by the way you're beautiful look at your eyeballs both of you have these glittery blue eyeballs

show the camera he wears them glasses look at these glittery blue eyeballs they both have really something I'm pretty scared because we're the Delaware blue hands. Yeah.

You want to get fucked up in Hella wear bitch. Yeah. The deli. What's happening to you? It's coming out. I always know. You don't know. We leave you butt naked on I-95.

Yeah, that's right. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Butt naked. Butt naked. I'm just kidding. On I-95. It for your mama. I'm just kidding. Butt naked on I-95? It's a shame. I'm just kidding. It was back in the day. We're going to take you out in a canoe and drop you in the lake.

Just kidding. That's a saying. Get some water and don't worry. You're going to swim from a rover and have to try all new shoes. That's just a Delaware idiom. Wait, which one of you grew up more poor? Kelvington, Delaware. He lived behind a shopping center.

I grew up more poor only because of dessert. It gets a little dicey. What, somebody killed somebody? Close. Gambling? No, we won't get into all that. Yeah, we don't got to talk about it. We won't get into all that. This don't gotta talk about it we won't get

in the hold but this is how every fucking episode is ian goes i was raped by a hot dog guy i go what and he goes nothing if i say something i never omit anything and if i do that's why you're great right but if i don't want to talk about it, I don't bring it up. I didn't bring anything up. It's fun to put a little salt on it and then... No, it's not fun. Now I have to know. I will be silent until I know. Good, that's what we wanted. Anyway, Sherry, first time you licked a puss, go.

No, seriously. Did a hot dog man rape you? Not rape, but I remember touching. Anyway, go ahead. First time I licked a pussy, okay? It was the summer going into ninth grade. It was 1996. She's just rescuing him immediately because she's so used to it.

Exactly. Moving on. I'm throwing him the motherfucking rope because that's my cousin right there. She pulled me out of the Brandywine River. Exactly. The river. Down by the river. You know I used to live off River Road?

We're going to make a video of literally them going off and me just... With my little harmonica. Did you know, so I lived on River Road, which was down the street from Lore Avenue, which is the house I was born in. Oh, listeners love hearing this. Oh, sorry, Jordan.

Let's hear more about... being on national television is tough. Where, where, where? All right. Touche. Touche. Touche. I'm going to take this out. I will take this out.

I will take this out. It would suck Jordan's dick to get to Ethan to possibly get a tape to the book or a fucking blah, blah, but it was tough. I'm so famous. Where, where, where? I deserve this. I deserve was tough. I'm so famous. I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this very much. I deserve this.

This lashing, I have brought upon myself. You're fucking with the real ones right here. You're right. You're right. You're going to leave me naked on I-95. North, not even south. Yeah, you don't want to go south, dog. Jordy, I'm very scared.

Jordan, we love you and you are hilarious, no bullshit You're the best When was the first time you licked a pussy? It was in 1996 True story It was 1996 I was 14 It was the summer going in

You licked a pussy at 14? I guess I was playing lions with a girl at around that. No, yeah. I mean, I shot heroin at 15. What? You know what I mean? Shot?

Bang, bang. Bang, bang. I know shot what it means, but that's intense. Yeah, we won't get into all that. But so anyway. See, I just pulled an Ian. Fucked a hot dog cart guy

while I was shooting heroin too, by the way. The same guy who fucking molested him. I'm just kidding. As a reward. He got heroin in his hot dog cart. Exactly. On the side. One pickles of ketchup. There's her little relish.

Relish it up. Now, but the first time I went down on a girl and my first thought was, oh my god, I'm licking the pussy. Oh my god, I'm licking the vagina right now oh my god i was freaking did it taste bad did it smell gross she was completely bald completely bald it was nice and soft it was like all right huge butch maybe you know what i mean okay yeah yeah completely bald licking the back of my hand didn't know what the fuck i was doing not a clue what I was doing right so I went to

Borders the next day which is you ever heard of Barnes and Noble on 202 yep I know where Borders is why are you explaining

Borders books and music because we didn't have the internet back then I know what Borders is oh alright some people don't know you guys are the really poor ones

I know what Borders is let me pull up my pants because I didn't wear a belt you know but anyway went to Borders and up my pants because I didn't wear a belt, you know. But anyway, went to Borders and I sat down because I couldn't afford the book. Okay, I couldn't afford to buy the sex book. So I picked out five sex books. I know the sex book.

And there was five of them. There was a big one, a little one, a small one. And I'm in the corner and I'm reading How to Lick Pussy. You know, like I had to read it because there was no Google. How to Lick Pussy for Dummies. Hey, there was no Googles back then. No Googles, you know. Had you sucked dick before the pussy?

Oh, no, I sucked dick first for sure. How old were you when you sucked dick? 14. It was a busy year. 12. Got you beat. You sucked a dick at 12? No, 13.

Hey, you guys. What? What's happening? You sucked a dick at 12? No, 13. Welcome to Delaware, baby. 99. Wait, you sucked a dick at 12? No, 13. Welcome to Delaware, baby. 99. Wait, you sucked a dick before you ate pussy?

Uh-huh. Yeah, same, same. Yep. It's kind of not the same. You went gay before you went straight. I went fun before I went. Anywhere. I went fun before I went anywhere.

So crazy. What are you gonna do when you're on a trip in Florida with your grade school buddies? And your uncle's there and he needs his dick sucked. Were you like, let me put that in my mouth or were they like, want to see what this is? No, he was like, we had talked about it for a while. We fooled around in fifth grade.

Yeah. And we would like talk about it. Isn't it weird when you run into those people now? No, we don't talk. Right, but when you're like, there's no running into each other.

He acts like I don't exist every time I try to catch up. I used to fool around with, I see him and I'm like, nope. Wait, you used to fool around

with girls? Oh yeah. Yeah? Totally, because it's the same. What's your type? Huh? What's your type?

It was just whoever my best friend was at the time. You guys seem pretty close. We pretend to be, she seems pretty butch. I don't know. Why do people.

I'm not butch. I am mask. Oh. Are you? It's the same fucking thing. No. You're butch. I'm mask.

I'm masculine. I'm M-O-C. Masculine of center. What the fuck is that? I'm some Gen Z bullshit. Who the fuck is that? See, I like Sherry because she's like an old dyke and doesn't go along with this like, you know. Non-binary.

Another one. Another title. Another title. Another title. Yeah, the non-binary thing. It's starting to piss me off. It's a lot. And pansexual.

Yeah, all that bullshit. That one's really crazy. Demisexual. I hate it. What's demi? You have to be in love with the person first before you fuck them. Yeah, and here's why that doesn't work. Because dating apps don't have blank profiles, bitch.

Exactly. Bitch. Dating apps don't have blank profiles? Yeah, this whole thing of pansexual. I'm attracted to personality first. Oh. Then why are you on there? The gender doesn't matter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. It's fucking fake. Anyway. Demisexual means I have to be in love with you. I've got feelings for you in order to fuck you Type thing and I'm just like well that's fucking boring That just means your parents gave you love

You got a hug You got a fucking hug when you were a kid Good for you That's rude That is rude actually There was something else that I was thinking about That was like this is offensive To poor people

I'll remember what it is keep talking Keep talking you poor people i'll remember what it is keep talking i don't keep talking you poor people i know yeah yeah maybe our poor talk will no jog something have you ever licked a puss jordan i've had a threesome with a woman i went down but i couldn't do it wait wait wait why not i don't she had a crusty bitters down no she was so okay. This was a cold vagina girl. Crusty bitters! That's the name of the episode. Crusty bitters. What is a bitter?

You know when you got pubic hair and you're a little wet and your pubic hair starts to stick together and it's a little crusty? Mine have never done that, but I've seen it before and it was... I left her there and never spoke to her again. Really? Oh, yeah. Damn. What about a little ball of toilet paper? What? I left her there and never spoke to her again. Really? Oh, yeah. Damn.

Anyway, so you went down. What about a little ball of toilet paper? What? Oh, a dingleberry? Oh, who cares? You can flick that away. No, like just a ball from wiping vagina. Oh, you can flick it away. That's not a dingleberry.

It's a dingleberry scoop. Or you go. Yeah. I just invite. I've tried being gay so many times and it's incredible. If you have to try, you're not. Yeah. Yeah. You just invite, I've tried being gay so many times and I'm, it's incredible. If you have to try, you're not.

Yeah. Yeah. You're definitely straight. It's pretty crazy. Although your outfit is pretty effortless. We'll be right back after this. I, I am a free spirit.

So you think you're a mask and not butch? You're not mask. You seem, you have feminine energy to me. You seem very feminine. You're very feminine. You have feminine energy to me. You seem very feminine. You're very feminine. You guys are the one who hurt my feelings, and now you're saying the opposite. I didn't hurt my feelings.

You keep calling us poor. I'm poor also. I'm sorry. But you guys are very. No, you didn't hurt my feelings, but you guys called me names, and now you're going, you're not the names we said. I know I'm not butch. Wait, what is butch?

My mom's not butch. She's mask. Okay. You're butch. I'm butch. But you what is butch? My mom's not butch. She's mask. Okay. You're butch. I'm butch. But you have, but you have. I wear makeup. I wear a regular bra.

Yeah. You know. But if you were coming out today, people would be like, you're trans. It almost feels like butch just means short hair. I don't want a dick. Okay. I love my pussy and I love my tits. All right.

Sing it from the rooftops. I want a dick, but I also am not trans. You can buy a dick. Yeah. I just want tits. All right. Singing from the rooftops. I want a dick, but I also am not trans. You can buy a dick. Yeah. I just want one for, I just think it's good to put it inside. Yeah.

I think it would be nice to not be penetrated, but to penetrate. Cause it feels fun. Yeah. Oh, it's so fun because it feels very like I'm letting you, it's just, it is inherently more vulnerable to let somebody in you than to put yourself inside somebody.

Correct. I think, although if you think about a bear trap. You know what I mean? Like if you put a bear trap. Would you rather be the bear trap or the foot? The paw. The trap. But the trap allows in. So you're saying you'd rather be the pussy that lets in. I'm just saying I'm disproving my own point. Still feminine.

Still feminine. You still want that trap and not, you know. Mm-hmm. You at your core are feminine. You're very feminine. You are feminine. Look at the way you're singing. Yeah.

Thank you. And your voice. And your, you know. You seem like you'd be a good, like, cuddler. I've been trying to figure it out on stage how aggravating it is i said it last night where i was like all the women in my life like i'll be like i bought a motorcycle and women are like you're a lesbian i'm like you're just a coward you're a cowardly person you can be a badass crazy how many people do it like anything that is cool to do people like it's because you're gay and i'm like i think it's you are too scared

to do things you just have to call yes you know? 100%. You can be a sexy striker with a fucking motorcycle. That makes you even more hot that you're not fucking gay. But it is crazy how fast they go there. I've also been. Well, the blacks last night at the cellar were really getting a kick out of your choice in men. Oh, what's your choice in men? Well, our guys, like, you know. I don't know if you can say the blacks.

Why not? They were a black audience right but i think comics comics okay okay man well you know what i called you know what you are what a brown noser but it's actually a black noser you you will literally leave me at a table alone in order to hang out with them i was sitting at the table and you came up and then you left. And I always go, sit, sit, come sit. Yeah, he would do that. And you left. You, every time

you've left. You like being the white boy that they love. And ain't nothing wrong with that, baby. It's so gay. Gotta be the token. No, you'll see. We'll come in there. You'll see. I've seen it. I know him. You'll see. It's like people. I can't help it that most of my friends are black. Same.

Same. Not true. At the cellar. That's not true. Because they're taking over. We'll be right back after this. The final countdown. No, but last night.

Wait, what did they say about it? It was funny because they were like, that's her guy? Because everyone expects you to have like a guy with a leather jacket and, like, is in a band and stuff. And then your guy is like, I'm here to do your taxes. Yeah, what's your guy look like? He's here. Yeah. But he's like a secret blue collar guy underneath.

He's two people. He has split personality. He seems like a daddy underneath. Well, he just is a carpenter and a comedian. Oh, none of my friends are black? Okay, hold on. Text message from a black. I'm talking about the guy that I'm dating because we break up every other day.

So I'm not talking about that. Me too. Hey, look at that. Two for one. You're just such a little fucking bitch. They're all over there. They're all over there. Freaking out, being mean.

Talking about my cousin over here. And then you are just Yoda in Luke Skywalker's backpack, just yeah. That was a good one, not gonna lie. You should have come over. You should have come over and sat with me for a second. No, you were with him. I invited you to sit, and the

second your dude showed up, you got up and fucking floated over. Yes, I did. I offered you my wings. I offered you my hummus. And you got up and left when he got there. I can't sit at the end of the table. They don't like it when you do that.

What do you mean they don't like it? I do love Derek Gaines. No, not the seller. Oh, okay. He is Black Kramer, dude. The other day he comes in. He just comes out of nowhere. He's like, bleep, bleep, bleep. He rises up from nothing,

appears out of nowhere in a flurry. And I was like, oh man, you're like Kramer. And then he goes, yeah, Black Kramer. And then four people around me went, he's Black Kramer. And I was like, wow. I want to meet him one day. Dude, he rules. I love him.

Derek Gaines. Oh, I want to meet him one day. He's the best. He's coming next week. Yeah. Oh, yay. Yeah, him one day. Dude, he rules. I love him. Derek Gaines. Oh, I want to meet him one day. He's the best. He's coming next week. Yeah. Oh, yay. Yeah, him and Dave. Dave.

Oh, nice. Crossover episode. Me and you are doing Eric Gasparro's podcast. What? When? I don't know. I'll figure it out. But we're going to have to do it.

We'll do it on a Tuesday at six. Cool. Oh, we're doing Sagalos this Wednesday. Next Wednesday. I'm going to Mexico. Will you just come? All right. I'm the only person at this wedding who doesn't have a plus one.

That's how I was at our friend's. I'll be a plus one. And you confuse everybody. It's like, oh shit. Oh yeah. She had lesbian moms and now she's a fucking dyke. Look at this bitch. They would be like, oh, this is blowing my mind right now.

Surprise, motherfucker. Surprise. No way. They would fucking. I think I'm sharing a room with a gay man. Yeah. Oh, motherfucker, surprise. No way. They would fucking, I think I'm sharing a room with a gay man. Well, I tried. You should shop my show. Holy shit, what if you end up

with Sherry? Wouldn't that be amazing? She would have to show her tits a lot more to be with me. I don't know. I literally am wearing like a breast binder right now. I am so, they're deep in there. You like big titties? No, tiny, but I hate that.

I just want nothing. I want to just be a lizard. That's really what I want. I want to be an amorphous lizard. Slithery little lizard. Yeah, totally. I'm trying to think of who. That's fun.

All right. I want Jack Comstock's body. He's got a hog. You're telling me. Yeah, she sucked it. Now people are hitting me up on the podcast. Also, my email's out there somewhere and I keep getting like stocky.

Oh yeah, people keep messaging like, where can I see that video of Jordan sucking a dick? Oh yeah? Why are you saying that? Yeah, put that on your early fans, baby. That's my joke. You said 25. I punched it up. Up it up, yeah.

Let's talk about the roast jokes. Make a roast, Sherry. Okay, you're right. We already did it. I have to roast my friends at their wedding. Is that the one you're talking about from Philly and all that? The Eagles fans? Yeah. They met on a coke binge in Mexico. Sherry could

roast people but it just on the spot oh yeah what's going on with your comedy career what is your job you got into comedy when Ian try not to talk through her no no I go to see Ian at the cellar 7-8 months

maybe 9 months ago or not the cellar New York Comedy Club and we're outside with his friends and we're talking shit. And I think I was like, oh, let me grab your dick. Not to you, to your friends. Yeah, she grabbed my buddy's dick.

I almost grabbed his dick. Oh, did you grab his dick? Yeah, see? I think you should grab James' dick. And Sam, Sammy Rubinoff. Shout out Sammy Rubinoff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and like,

we're just joking around. And then somebody says, you should be a comedian. And I was like, really? They're like, yeah, you should try it. So I was like, all right, I'll try it. So I did some open mics and here I am seven, eight're just joking around. And then somebody says, you should be a comedian. And I was like, really? They're like, yeah, you should try it. So I was like, all right, I'll try it. So I did some open mics and here I am seven, eight months later. Wow.

And I'm doing pretty well. Really? I'm doing pretty good. I love it. Some days I fucking crush and I kill and it's so much fun. And then other days I cry in my car. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Cause I'm so sad. Oh yeah. Yep. It's a lot of hustle. It's a lot of grind. It's a lot of work. Yep. You're doing it in Delaware. No, you're doing it in New York. I lived in New. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of hustle. It's a lot of grind. It's a lot of work. Yeah. You're doing it in Delaware.

No, you're doing it in New York. I lived in New York for 18 years. You're doing it here. What mics are you doing? Oh, I just did New York Comedy Club. We wear Pig. I've done QED, Eastville. Is Pine Box still going on?

Yeah. Pine Box Rock Shop. Oh, yeah. I've been there a few times for some open mics they're good what's the best open mic and tiny i like east a tiny cupboard's fun i like tiny cupboard um i like eastfield open mics on monday night okay yeah oh dude there's one um next to joey rose's sandwich shop shout out joey rose's nice uh on like tuesdays it's seven it's in like a coffee shop it's really fun i'm down you should do it yeah i think it's seven. It's in like a coffee shop. It's really fun. I'm down. You should do it. Yeah. I think it's like Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I'm down. Yeah. But yeah, it's fun. I'm getting paid like 25, 35 bucks for seven minutes. Whoa. That's great. That is. Follow Sherry.

What's your Instagram? Sherry, S-H-E-R-I underscore baby 11. I also have a podcast, Degenerate Boomer, with Cindy Arena. You ever heard of Cindy Arena? She's a great comic. It's called Degenerate Boomer, and we're going to be talking about boomer shit. Where does Cindy live? Rochester. Todd. You know Todd

from Rochester? Oh, yeah. Bye, guys. That's her friend. No shit. What does Cindy look like? She's a heavyweight lesbian. Is she blonde? She was at Fortune? She's a heavyweight lesbian. Is she blonde? She was at Fortune? Yes, yes, yes. She was.

That's my girl. Shout out Cindy Arena. Oh, yeah. She was the host when I did Syracuse Funny Bone. Yeah, probably her. Yep. Yep. Wait, how old are you?

40. 40. Wow. You look good. Yeah, truly. That's crazy. That's a good skin Thank you

I've been putting lotion on my skin Since I was a kid You smoke right I do I do I smoke She just goes You gotta shut up

How much do you smoke I used to smoke a pack a day But I have COPD now So I smoke like a half a pack What is COPD What do you smoke I think it's like emphysema I think

I don't know Something like that How'd you know you had COPD Cause I cough and can't breathe. Oh. But, you know. Damn. But you have like a rattle.

I'm raspy. No, no. A rattle when you cough. Yeah. There's stuff in there. Yeah, yeah. You should smoke mullein. It'll clear it out.

What's that? It's an herb. It doesn't get you fucked up or anything. That's fine. But you buy it in a pack and you roll it with rolling papers. And if you smoke it it like every other cigarette you want to have you smoke a smolding cigarette and it helps you get all the gunk out yeah you're the best i'm gonna do that yeah why did you ever told me about

that because you don't have what she has if i heard a rattle in your chest it's called the death rattle from what i hear do you know what a death rattle really is? You die right before No no no It's when you're on the Fuck that's a death wobble It's the wobble wobble wobble It's when you're on a motorcycle and you get your wheel Oh yeah the speed wobbles I know what you're talking about So have they given you a timeline on when they think you're going to die?

No they just said you have to quit smoking No it's true I don't know if they're like you CPOD Have they told have to quit smoking no it's true no i mean i don't know if with if they're like you cprd you're like no have they told you to quit yes and i went from a half a pack a day and now i'm down to like seven a day 20 to seven that's good and then eventually be three and then eventually hopefully your mom still smokes have you yeah have you read it on cars right here my mom quit. Yeah, I haven't seen your mom smoke in a long time.

Are you willing to cut to a packet? No. You don't do nothing else. You don't drink, smoke weed. Like, you've been sober. Have you read Alan Carr's Quitting Made Easy? It really helped me. I've heard of that.

I audio taped it. I did not read it. And I'm telling you, I had to lose it quick, the habit, because I had to get surgery. And they were like, you'll have a black scar. You only have three months. So, I mean, you have to quit three months before it. So I just immediately had to. I read the book. Helps so much.

I've heard that before. I probably should read it now that you've said that. Just listen to it because he almost is like hypnotizing you. I've heard that. The people that read it and then just quit. All right. I don't actually really want it. I have it. You want it? I mean, I'll take it. Someone said it to me. I've heard that the people that read it and then just quit. All right. I don't really want it. I have it.

You want it? I mean, I'll take it. I've never opened it. Do you think it goes into your personality and you'll lose some? Yes. Yes. Especially when I'm driving and someone cuts me off and I'm smoking a cigarette.

It makes me look tougher, you know, cause I'm smoking a fucking cigarette. I just love it. It's relaxing. It feels good after a fucking cigarette i just love it it's relaxing it feels good after a meal i look forward to it that first one in the morning before i go to bed i it's a part of my life i enjoy it i was uh from the morning i woke up to when i passed out drinker and i just need something that i enjoy that fine, but can you cut down?

Eventually. What do you smoke, a pack a day? Two. Two? Ian, you're going to get the COPD like me, motherfucker. Come on. You will get it. Clean it up. I'll get COPD. We're stealing our deathbeds together, man. Cool, awesome, pecker dick. What if your career really takes off and you get going

and then... That scares me. That's you get going and then that scares me that's what i'm saying like i i'm like everyone like that scares me but what if even like something small like they're like your career is taking off we have to do lung surgery chemo and that scares me that scares me yes yes enough about death we all want to die what about the minor inconvenience you know what i mean i know i know i think about that it scares me and I'll deal with it if it happens but you don't do shit else bro and you work out, you're healthy there is such a thing as training as a smoker

there is, because I do, I train as a smoker I box, I work out, I try we need to start boxing Maddie's been telling me about it and I've been kind of on the fence about boxing with Sergio, but then she was like I was like is it sergio's the best maddie goes he doesn't do bits and i was like perfect yeah no he's the best yeah he's so fun he was one of my first friends in comedy he did a gig in wilmington i was down there and he's like yeah if you're in new york hit me up and i did and he

would say i started in hood rooms and he took me we would do like hookah lounges in the bronx and fucking har Harlem and all these shows. Cause I didn't know anyone else in New York. And so like, that's how I, when I came up here, I didn't do regular shows.

I just did like all black rooms and Spanish rooms. It was the fucking best. Yeah. Yeah. I love he's a, he's so funny and like just such a good, good guy. I go to his house and play like Uno with his family every Christmas.

It's the best. He's such a sweetheart, man. We gotta do it. Let's go. We gotta set it up. We can film it too, because he's a comedian. Yeah, yeah. For sure. How long have you been, you drank, but you don't do hard stuff anymore, right? I've quit. I quit all that. Yeah. I've quit all that

probably for the last... She hands me 30 milligrams of Adderall. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 30 milligrams in non-time released, by the way. That's unheard of. Don't eat the whole pill at once. Never. Never. Because you're going to be fucking cracked the fuck out.

Have you done it? Fuck no. Maybe once or twice, but not in a long time. I mean, they shouldn't make that. You know what I mean? Are they like pressed by some... No, no. They're from a legit pharmacy. I've got the bottle in the car if you want to look at it, if you don't believe me. You have what I mean? Are they like pressed by some American guy? No, they're from a legit pharmacy.

I've got the bottle in the car if you want to look at it, if you don't believe me. Do you have to take it for... Like, are you prescribed it? I'm a sped. So, um... I mean, not really. Maybe Jordan will adopt you. Bringing it back.

Could you imagine if we go... What if we all lived in a house together, I would have to get a lobotomy or at least a partial lobotomy in order to do that. Could you imagine living with you? Come on. You would have so much. Oops. You're stuck in there. Sorry. I mean, it must be really fun. Fuck off. Hey, I'm a lot. I I know I like living alone upstairs because I sing to my cat I love your cat I need that but when I live with someone I feel embarrassed

not like a roommate like a partner I feel like embarrassed that I want to talk to the cat and not them and your voice too your little voice like hello yeah yeah yeah yeah then you subject us all to it through your Instagram stories anyway so them and your voice too your little voice like hello yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah then you subject us all to it through your instagram stories anyway so you might as well not be alone

because we're all i love your cat content i do love the cat content i do love the cat content i look forward to it thank you my mom and i talk about it too about your cats and shit oh that's nice yeah we do samson looks exactly like him. Uh-huh. Yeah, me, yeah. Oh, my God. When David told you, it was like, you look like that cyber girl who did that cyber thing

with that cyber guy. Oh, yeah. Dude, we were outside the cellar and we were all hanging out and Adele goes, Jordan, you giggling idiot. I was giggling because he stomped on a New Year's hat

and goes, oh, I'm sorry. I thought there was a baby under there. And I lost my mind. I lost my mind. What the fuck? I also, before you got there,

it was New Year's and I didn't want to hang out with anybody. I just glued myself to a tail and he could not shake me off. He could not. He would disappear

and I would pop up next to him and be like, found you, buddy. It was so, he's the best. Yeah, he's the best. I fucking love David's tail. One day I will meet him.

You will? Oh my God. I can't believe you have it. You should come by the side. I know your other hair is good friends with him. I fucking love David Tell. One day I will meet him. You will? Oh my god. I can't believe you haven't. I know your good friends would know me. I saw that. They love each other so much. Dave loves you so much. I love him. I can see that. You can see it in the social media. I can see that he loves you so much.

He's a sweetheart. He's become a very dear friend. I heard he's like a comedy guy. He's a comedian's comedian. Yeah, like all your favorite comics. He does this thing that we all try and do where we manically throw things out on stage and a lot of times a little bit of self doubt kicks in and you don't say the thing that you want or you bail on it absolutely and he has removed that self-doubt so he just spills out with whatever it is and it's gold like he'll do

things where he'll be like ian you've been you know a 95 year old orphan since the age that you were four you know like he'll say things that are like, but then I'll keep going and be like somehow accurately describe like an essence of Ian. And he's a Jedi. He is a complete Jedi. One hundred percent. He has made me so much better because of how funny he is and bringing me on stage. And he'll bring people on stage and he's just so giving with his laughter, even like hanging out. So it makes you feel as if like, Oh, I'm not afraid to try stuff. And so

if you do try and fail, there's no failure. Cause he'll take whatever you say and make it funny. Fucking brilliant. So it's made me like so much better in the sense that I'm not like, Oh, shouldn't I? You know what I mean? And then other people go on stage with him and they're nervous because they're like, well, I feel like this won't be and you can literally say anything and he just turns it into a joke. He's truly the best. He's also trained you to be able to deal with

getting ribbed, which a lot of people aren't able to deal with, which makes them really cringy on podcasts or on stage. Or agitated. Yeah, agitated or it gets pent up and then it spills out and it makes them kind of hard to like even book

right because you're like you're too fucking much yeah but you are very good at like like I know comics who are so good at comedy

but they can't take a punch oh I can take a punch yeah you have to be able to take a punch and you're so good at taking punches because Adele is just relentlessly punching

yeah yeah totally yeah nah he's the best man man. I love him. He got you that smug thing. That was such a good gift. Yeah, it was so kind. Yeah. And he got me a birthday card that's recordable, and when you open it,

it's him playing the recorder. That's so fucking cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should go get it. That's awesome. I want to hear it. Yeah, alright. Here you go. Pause it up. Pause's awesome. I want to see it. I want to hear it. Yeah, all right. I want to hear it. Go. Pause it up. Pause it up.

So, Jordan, where are you from, sweetheart? It's all right. It's all right. It's fine. No, fix your accordion. It kind of looks like one of those things when you're a kid and you got to wear, like, braces, like the headgear. You know?

Yeah. Like, night gear, headgear, whatever that is. Hell yeah. Do people still have that i don't know i think technology might have eliminated that but maybe not you know i've been seeing a lot of grown people with braces and audiences and it is hard to not tear them apart yeah especially they got shit in their teeth too like in the rubber bands like i had braces for a while i thought i looked kind of hot with them on for some reason I remember being like this is pretty okay

But then I took them off immediately Once they said I had to start wearing the rubber bands I was like get this thing Really the stretchy You have good teeth though You think I don't think so You got the fangs Those are good

Those are great No they're not they just shaved them down like a normal person and I would have had square teeth. Instead, I have vampire teeth. No, you want the vampire teeth. Vampire teeth are attractive. Some women like that. Who doesn't?

You've met a woman who's like, you should have square teeth. No, no one ever said that. You know what's crazy? Nobody's ever said that. Yeah, everybody wants that. They're like, oh, you got vampire fangs. I'm like, oh, yeah, I do.

You know, but that's so good. Play it. People are attracted to massive teeth. What do you got? Whenever he brings me on stage, he goes, come on, Ian. Come on stage with father. Nice. It's fucking awesome.

You did it. Happy birthday. David's home, ladies and gentlemen. Isn't that amazing? David's home. Dude, I still have a birthday card in my room from him. December 31st, 2019. And it goes,

Happy birthday, Ian. 2020 is your year. And it was the worst year of our lives. No, that's crazy. So it was your year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The worst year. This has been fucking awesome. No, that's crazy. So it was your year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The worst year. This has been fucking awesome.

Oh, it's been great. Sherry, you're the best. You're the fucking best. I love you, cuz. Give me a hug. I love you, cuzzo. I love you, man. Come on.

Thank you. Yes. Give me a hug, too, you sexy bitch. I would smack your ass, but I don't know you yet. Next time. Well, if you want to smack. Oh, get out of here. You got a dumper. I'm sure you got a little something. Yeah. I would smack your ass but I don't know you yet next time next time oh get out of here you got a dumper

I'm sure you got a little something yeah I'm sure you got a little something come on show that thing off let it percolate it's time for the percolator it's time for the percolator it's time for the percolator

it's time for the percolator oh wow that's okay I just talked in the room no but you are hilarious you're gorgeous and it was a pleasure to meet you

you're also hilarious and gorgeous I didn't know that you lived here and were doing comedy I thought you were in some comic book somewhere you know what I mean I've been doing comedy

eight months I'm still doing my thing but you know book me when you feel as though I'm good enough can you send us can you send us might not be the good enough yet

but I'm working on it Motherfucker Do you tell people About the apostrophe Because that's the funniest thing In the whole world I probably should tell that joke Yes

You should I'm only doing five now Fives and sevens Can you send us a five minute set And we can put it on the Patreon Yeah Oh that's cool Yeah

Five seven yeah Okay cool Nice Even if it's a three Even if it's a clip Short clip One joke Put it on the Patreon Yeah That's what people want Meet her and then see the stand up yeah okay cool nice even if it's a three even if it's a clip yeah I got some clips yeah we'll put it on the Patreon

yeah that's what people want meet her and then see the stand up it'll be great hell yeah awesome do you have any shows coming up I have a bunch of shows coming up

I don't remember when they are but you can go to sherry underscore baby 11 on Instagram and find that cool and Degenerate Boomer our podcast is coming up.

Yes. And that's about it. Nice. We gotta come back to the den and hang again, man. What do you got? Fuck! I'm at Laugh Boston soon. I'm trying to get back there. Really? When are you there? Because you liked it? I loved it.

They were great. Alright, I'm going to Mexico and then'm going to mexico and then i'm at belmore and then i'm at uncle that'll be fine don't go to that yeah uncle venez and then laugh boston is the february 9th 10th 11th and then um what's this or if you don't want to go out to boston february 10th and 11th i am at brokerageage governors. Oh, I'm doing that too. I don't think, I don't know. And then,

uh, February 15th, Fort Worth hyenas, February 16th, Dallas hyenas, February 17th, 18th, McAllister,

Oklahoma. Cause I'm smart. And, uh, finance.com. Uh, come on out and, uh,

yeah, it'd be great to see you guys out there. Thank you also for the support. Really, a ton of people have been like digging the show and like loving you and us together. And it's just really nice. We really appreciate it. And wait, shout out. Yes.

Oh, yeah. We had someone come up to us on the street. Me and Ian were, which is what the name of the podcast should be. We're having a meltdown. I, me and Ian. I know. Oh, shit. I know. Fuck you. Me and Ian. I mean. It's already me and Ian. Me and Ian. When you're dancing

in the beginning. What I'm saying is we wouldn't even need to have it say with Jordan. It would just be me and Ian. So your name would be the main name. Yeah, who's me? Yeah. It's better that your name is be the main name yeah who's me yeah it's better that your name no it doesn't have to say the name in it i'm just saying me me and ian whatever you're gay me and ian um okay john you've been here the whole time what do you think all right thanks for the work came up to us we were freaking out about our respective

non whatever the fuck relationship is happening and we were bummed out this girl walks up to us and goes are you guys famous and we both went

no and looked back at each other and then she went but aren't you Jordan Jensen and Ian Fidance and we were like

yes and she's a big fan and it really made her whole night and Shelby Burke thank you so much you have beautiful boobies. It was amazing.

She was so nice. You were nice. She was stumbling and slurring and we were like, what do you do? And she was like, I'm a therapist. That's the best kind of therapist right there. Anyway, we love you. Patreon.com slash B&E and pod. We really appreciate the support and we'll see you next time.

Bye. Bye.