Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Episode 036: Band Geek Mafia W/ Incendiary // Rob Nobile & Dan Lomeli

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding bikes all through the night It's a wild ride When you're being Ian Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride When you're being Ian

Being Ian And life is ride When you're being Ian Being Ian Life is shit But you're positive Let's find out what it's like To live a life Being Ian Being Ian With Jordan

Oh, are you cagey? Cagey? Are you cagey, John? Cagey Jones. When did we see each other last? Years ago. Years. It's been years.

Has been years. How was the, what was the shows that you did over the weekend? Oh, dude, we'll get into it. We'll get, are we recording? We're recording. Yeah. Damn shofar. That's what I'm talking about. Let's have this whole podcast BS thing. We'll get into it.

We'll get into it until it descends. Be it here with Jordan. I am so glad you're here. What's up? Shout out Pit Viper for the glasses. They gave it to us. They gave it to you You used them for skiing though

You looked like you were ripping up the ski trip Dude I Let me tell you I love skiing And I love shooting guns And it's no Wonder that the sport Where you involve shooting guns and skiing Is called the biathlon

Because I'm bi Skeet shooting. Oh, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet. Anyway, our guest today. There's a sport where you ski and shoot. What is it called? Biathlon. What do you mean? Where do you shoot? While you're skiing?

You have a gun on your back and you ski and then you shoot targets. No way. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. 100% true. It's cross-country skiing and target shooting together at the same time targets. No way. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. It's 100% true. It's cross-country skiing and target shooting together at the same time. That's amazing. I want that, but rock climbing, where you rock climb and then

That's like the movie Cliffhanger. Yeah. Welcome to the studio, boys. Thanks for having us. I am so excited for today. Oh, yeah. Shoot, do you have it too? Yeah, he's the only other one aside from me.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Wow, look at this. Oh, my God. Yes. Incendiary brought it to New York. Cost of living. Ten year anniversary. Wow, we chose the exact same spot.

That's crazy. Pretty crazy. Do you have a partner? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I was going to hook you guys up. What the fuck? What are you just auctioning me off?

That's a sign. I am celibate for the next year. That's what we're doing. Give me more. I like how we're not even here five minutes and your pants are already off. They're always off. Yeah. Incendiary.

Oh, we just saw that movie. That's when we saw each other. Scream. Yeah, that was a horrible movie. I saw it last night. What'd you think? It was a movie. It was exactly what it should have been

It was a fun romp at the cinema Yeah, I think, I don't know if it was too silly about itself Or, you know, like it just felt over the top silly about itself It was very, I did feel like I was in the 2000s It really did pull me back The newest Matrix movie was just a mockery of itself Yes, totally Which I couldn't finish it.

It was so bad. No. No, the Matrix Resurrection. The Matrix Resurrection. It was a mockery of itself. Easy. I haven't gotten around to it yet. I could watch it because there are so many Easter eggs for people who are obsessed.

I'm obsessed with The Matrix. So that's the only way I could stand it. But if I hadn't seen The Matrix 900 times, I would have turned it off. It looked like the HD... It looked like a bad soap opera. You know when you watch a movie high and you're like,

this is so embarrassing? That's how it felt, but not high. You know what I mean? It was bad. I was high when I watched it, and I think I was overthinking it. Totally. I can't handle it. You can't deal with how bad it is. I know. It just jumps right in. It's really.

But the whole. Yeah. That's why Ghostbusters is better than The Matrix. Anyway, guys, we are. Keanu Reeves is a peaceful motorcycle driving. He's the best. Yes. And Bill Murray got me too'd for.

Being too cool. Being too cool. Being a cool guy. Yeah. People were like, right? He's the best. He's up there. He definitely rocks.

He just like goes to places and hangs out. But I mean, Keanu Reeves does that too. I think they both have their equal points. Bill Murray and Keanu, the coolest dudes around. I'd like to see them in a movie together. I think Keanu is. What do we got to do? Keanu's more of a good soul.

Yeah. I think Bill Murray is a drunk, but so fun. Yeah. My roommate was in a movie with him and said he was like the most fun man. Happy go lucky. Bouncing off the walls, telling stories until he kissed a woman who didn't want it. And then I can't. Boo

who, bitch. Gay? You got kissed by Peter Venkman. I know. I guess I did hear like I thought that I was like the kiss wasn't that bad, I think. But then I somebody told me what actually happened and I was like, oof. Yeah. Like, I guess she was like, no. And he was like, yes. And she was like, no. And he was like, the kiss wasn't that bad. But then somebody told me what actually happened and I was like, oof. I guess she was like, no. And he was like, yes. And she was like, no.

And he was like, yes. It's Peter Venkman. Bill Murray is Peter Venkman and then he just happens to be in other movies. That's like, you know. That's his nightmare. The story is that Bill Murray goes up to people

And he like puts his hands Behind their eyes And goes No one will ever believe you Behind their eyes That's the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life Bill Murray digs into people's skulls

No one's gonna believe you He does this weird Cute little thing This little game he plays Called gouging He walks up And he just gouges Some people love him

Super cute No he does the thing Where he puts his hands behind your eyes and goes, no one will ever believe you. What about this? Do you think he went up and kissed her against her will? She said, I'm going to tell it. He goes, no one will ever believe you.

And then he walked away. Does he do that? What about this? He does it all throughout Brooklyn. Where am I holding the cigarette case? In front of my chest, right? Yeah. But now where is it?

Behind your back. Why isn't it in front of my back? You know what I mean? Because it's behind you. Because your back is in front of my chest, right? Yeah. But now where is it? Behind your back. Why isn't it in front of my back? You know what I mean? Because it's behind you. Oh, no, because your back is in front of it. Matrix Resurrection. If your face was your back, then yes. Right.

Why is it behind my back and in front of my chest? It should be in front of my back. In front of your back? Yeah. It's the... How do I hold it in front of my back? In front of your back is inside of you. Ooh, there you go.

Matrix Revolutions Part 2. Yes. Got it. Behind my back because everything is forward facing. Speaking of back, I want to go back to my they'll never believe you joke. Can I wear these? Oh, thank you.

Wasn't it? It was really wordy, I? Well, I didn't. I lost. It was really wordy, I think, so I was lost. We'll fix it in post. Aren't those cool? So you guys just released a fucking single that rips.

Thank you. It's unbelievable. Yeah, finally after a couple years now, we have this new record coming out. And when's it coming out? Couldn't be happier the way it's turned out. Comes out May 26th. What did one of my buddies described it as? He was like, it's like knocked loose, but what you actually want or something like that.

The new song. It's so sick. It's such a good song. That's great. And I always get anytime I post about you guys or like tell i get dms being like when is the album coming out when is it coming out so people are gonna eat this up well now they know yeah yeah i mean i got texted the minute you guys dropped that song but i've been wearing the the sweatshirt oh yeah everybody and it's like it's nuts i get notifications all the time like people

tagging me oh really just like oh look who's wearing your sweater. Oh, I love that. That's so nuts. I get a lot of people being like, wash your clothes, Jordan. And I'm like, it is the best hoodie of all time. Somebody just yelled incendiary at a show to me a couple of days ago. Wow, cool. Yeah.

I love when I see you, you're like wearing it in front of like a tell. Oh, yeah. That alone is just unbelievable. A tell rules. This guy's like looking. He's the best. I get to get him in an incendiary hoodie.

Yeah, he would wear that. I would love to have him listen to it and just like tear it apart. Yeah. Like give his honest opinion. Oh, yeah. No, he hates you guys. I can't imagine. I play him in the car.

Do you actually? He doesn't like it. No, he tells me to turn you off. Like, like legit hates you guys. I can't imagine. I play him in the car. Do you actually? He doesn't like it. No, he tells me to turn you off. Like, like legit hates you. No, the fact that he even knows what it is, is unbelievable. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. That's how I know I've made it.

I always try to get him onto stuff, you know, and I'll put on, and he'll be like, turn this off. What does he listen to? What is with the yelling? I mean, honestly. I want to take this as a clearance. Here's the thing? I mean, honestly. I bet it was a clearance. Here's the thing. We will jam out to White Zombie and Metallica.

But he doesn't like stuff that's too, too hard. That's out of Bracelet. Or Ska. He doesn't like Ska. Not a big Ska guy. I'm not a big Ska guy. That doesn't surprise me. It's very funny because I do put you guys on in the car and stuff.

And yeah, he'll tolerate it for a minute. But whoa, boy. Not too much. But I haven't played him the new single. Oh, well, I mean, or the new album. Which drops when? May 26th. May 26th. Oh, two days before my birthday.

On Close Casket Records. Really? Wow. Hey, well, happy birthday. And three days before my birthday. Really? Wow. Well, happy birthday. We planned that all along. It's a big time. Thank you. Congrats to you guys. You got some entrance music now. You got some entrance music now.

Actually, you might need that. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I know what you're about to say. Fancy cigarette holder. Nice. Speaking of entrance music. We thought that we'd bring you on the podcast. We thought that you'd bring you on the podcast. To ask a question.

Would you guys record our new theme song? Would you guys record our new theme song? Yes! Yeah, we could do that. Yes. I don't see why not. Dave Excel's not going to watch the show, though. He already will never

I don't know I'm going to think about it for a sec but that's wild that's crazy so right now the theme song is the Lumineers or Wesley Schultz from the Lumineers I wrote the lyrics he wrote the song la la la and we were thinking every 50 episodes or so

we shoot a new intro new song and we did that before the the podcast even started it was just like an idea and then like once the lumineers do your theme song you can't like change a name or anything yeah and then so we've been wanting to make it better and you guys are a favorite band and that'd be fucking amazing if like there was like a 30 second just like song yeah half as long as what we have now yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe could write the lyrics. That's even easier. The shorter the better. We'll just do a 30 second ass beater or something like that.

It would be cool to do an ass beater and then just have it be B&E with Jordan and that's it. You know what I mean? Not an entire... You don't want lyrics? No. I don't think I want lyrics. No words, just emotions. Are you guys just singing? No, you guys would sing.

I can't sing. I can sing singing? No, you guys would sing. You would sing. I can't sing. I can sing hardcore real good. Yeah, you just got to yell. How about as a ska song? Send the air to go ska. Would you do that? I love ska, by the way. For the record, I don't know why people shit on it all the time.

People love ska. I've always loved it. We talk about this a lot. We listen to it all the time. Ska is sort of like this weird general uh generational like benchmark kind of thing where you could kind of like tell totally like where someone grew up and the time that they did dependent on that he loves ska i never listened to ska i love hello rock view like less than jigs and such like for me that's like

junior and senior year of high school that's all we did was listen to fucking like Hello Rockview and go to house parties. It was like wild. And like a lot of it gets hate. But I think, I mean, it's supposed to be corny, but it's party music, you know? Yeah, totally. It's to have fun. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you hate? Having fun? Gives band nerds an excuse to be cool. Yes. Scott musicians are incredible musicians. It gives something for the marching band kids to do. Because you can't, there's what? Oh, Yellow Card has the fiddle player and then other stuff.

But you can't have 10 bands with fiddle players in it. But you can have a million ska bands with a brass section. Yeah, that's awesome. The brass section is very cool. A movie about that would be cool. A ska movie? A ska movie would be cool. Starring Ian Finance?

Where you're the teacher of the high school. Oh it's called Pick It Up Pick It Up Yeah and they keep getting bullied so you're like you guys really want to get Or we'll name it after the Voodoo Glow Skulls Voodoo Glow Skulls and call it Band Geek Mafia Hey wow you could probably get some funding some crossover kind of stuff

I think we're on to something I think we are We could do the intro music, me pretending to play the hardcore song and then you coming in with like a ska trumpet and me being like no, no, you know what I mean? And then me kicking you out of the room and the breakdown is

This isn't a fucking ska song! Because that's the whole podcast is him being like positive and me just being Eeyore. This isn't a fucking ska song! This isn't a fucking ska song this isn't a fucking ska and then you just come in and then I come in

and I'm like now it's time for ska having fun things are good Jordan I didn't sleep last night your bits are going I didn't sleep really long I yelled at a French woman on the train

I feel high right now I yelled at a French woman on the train. I feel high right now. I yelled too much in the smoke. I am so loud. You said the same lyric like nine times. And we all were just watching you. But no, that was because it was leading to the big breakdown. We thought it was going to change.

And it never changed. Oh, God. If you're going to be a And it never changed. Oh, God. Yo, if you're going to be a singer, can you bring smoking on stage back? Smoking cigarettes? Let me just say, can I say for the record? I just want to say,

I really appreciate your advocacy for keeping cigarettes alive. Yeah. I truly, I truly love cigarettes. Not many people do it anymore. I don't like how you're smoking them. I really do appreciate it.

I smoke for a long time and then I quit. I love secondhand smoke. I love the smell. I quit cold turkey. After like 15 plus years. I couldn't do it. He would tell us all the time, when I turn 30, I'm going to stop smoking.

Wow, really? We would always rip him about it. Two years left. One year left. What are you going to do? He's when I turn 30, I'm going to stop smoking. Wow, really? And then we would always rip him about it. He's like, oh, two years left. One year left. What are you going to do? And he's like, I think I'm just going to stop. And then he just. And you did it.

How long have you guys been a band? So, yeah. 15 years. Oh, really? 16. And how old are you guys? I'm 41. I'm 38.

You guys look great. So you quit eight years ago. Holy shit. So I think part of it was I had a reason to because of that. Since I was like a child, I smoked in like seventh, eighth grade. Yeah, yeah, of course. And you know,

people would ask when you're stopping, which is crazy to even say that to a kid. That's hilarious. I'll stop when I'm 30. I said that too. I'll stop when I'm 30. Yeah, when I get my married badge. And now, yeah, so I think out of stubbornness or whatever,

I was like, I have to do it. Otherwise, I'm going to look like a fool. Wow. Oh, totally. Yeah. Good to hear. Do you drink and smoke weed and stuff? I drink. I used to love weed. Yeah. I don't do it as much. Shit sucks. I started probably drinking more. Oh, like also quitting cigarettes. I'll just say I didn't really feel any difference. Everyone started probably drinking more. Also quitting cigarettes, I'll just say, I didn't really feel

any different. Everyone's like, how much better do you feel? And I'm like, probably just more stressed and not that different. Okay, tell me. That's what I like to hear. It's not good for you to quit. That's what I heard from his mouth.

I'm just saying. If you could quick cold turkey anyone I don't know I'm on the other shoulder go on like a rampage and then just like stop things that's not how I am at all if there was coke in this room right now

it would be three months of me down here this would be a cool coke basement this would be a real cool basement. This would be a real cool... I've been in a few coke basements. I'm from Selden, and yeah, this would be a real chill one. Yeah, dude, just put on fucking corn like this.

Coke out. Hang out till 5am. That's on the record. Watching like BMX fails on YouTube for like six hours. this one watch this one oh my god this guy gets so hurt all right drugs are bad drugs are bad you ever notice something about i noticed about cocaine if you're talking about it or if the word even comes up people in the room will subconsciously like their nose or like sniffles i really i've noticed this like in real life and then like even watching interviews and stuff. I don't know if you ever have.

People always think I do coke. But if the word comes up, like watch allergies, look at other people around. Next thing I start talking, I'll do that. I'll be like, yeah, really? They're not even doing it on purpose. It's like some subconscious thing. I'm into subconscious things. If you're on the train and you look at somebody They will look at you

It can be 10 train cars down If you look down the tunnel They will turn I'm telling you We're trained to see people looking at us instinctually I also think that we are Everyone Including some animals on planet earth

Is constantly playing Keep the ball up in the air And they all know the rules and they just don't know that they're playing until you throw like a ball or a balloon at them. I've tested this out. Who? Everybody. What?

Everybody. If there was a balloon and I threw it towards you, hit it to stop it from hitting the ground. That's just a human instinct. Right. And you know, you can't hit it twice in a row. You could only hit it once in a row that someone else has got to hit it.

Oh, you know? Oh, you think we're subconsciously playing. We're all playing it all the time. Fuck, I wish I had a ball right now. I used to test it out at parties and stuff. I like doing like human control experiments like that.

Yeah, me too. You know, without people knowing. So like I'll just throw a balloon in a party and just watch and keep people, everyone will keep hitting it. Yeah. Like fucking clockwork every time. Just people are like. Yeah.

If you bring like a beach ball into a bar, you don't even have to go in after it. You just launch it in there. I guarantee you for at least five minutes they're playing. Keep it up. Keep it up is how I felt about becoming sober. That's what I felt when I quit drinking is I was like, this is a game of the balloon. I'm going to drop. That's what I would say to my dick before I'd have sex.

Keep it up. Keep it up. Keep it up. Somebody touch it. Somebody touch it. Somebody touch it. Pass it to somebody else and it'll stay up. No, not one person. Multiple people.

I'm just trying to see how long you can do this for. I've done many experiments. That was the experiment I've been playing. If you just throw it into a bar, people will keep it up. Nice. Okay, so Ian, why are you wearing this suit?

Well, let me tell you. I was just in Washington, D.C., and I got asked to go to the- By who? Nikki. She needed a date? She needed a date. Nice. To go to the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor at the Kennedy Center in D.C.

And they were honoring Adam Sandler. Whoa. So I was not going to go initially because I was like, dude, I don't fucking belong at this. Like, I feel weird. I'm going to feel less than like hanging out with all these fucking people. And I'm going to be like just a fucking weirdo. You know, like I don't like who are all the people small, you know, like celebrities, like fucking movie. Yeah.

Like what's the dynamic? I don't like that. I don't like that. And and I don't like like when like they're like bigger comics, they can like look through you, you know, you. Chris Rock is one of them. If you're at the table, he just acts like you don't exist. He was so nice to me. He was so nice to me last night. But this is before I had the suit.

Wait, he was there last night in D.C.? Yeah, yeah. He's like best friends with Sandler. You did like three movies with him and stuff, right? Yeah. What did he want? I don't know. I guess I didn't think it was that big of a thing that people were going to. Just because of the video

of the shrimp, I was like, oh, I think this is a small gathering. No, it was like massive. It's on CNN. We were fifth row. Cameras on me the whole time. Nancy Pelosi was there with Paul Pelosi and when they announced them, they had the camera on me and I went, ugh. Nice.

Nice. Why were they there cutting it up with Bobby Schneider because it's a huge event in DC it's like a massively prestigious award I think Chappelle won it last year or the year before but yeah it was like huge dude fucking the keynote

speakers were like oh Idina Menzel came out and she sang a song like it was so fun. And David Spade, Ben Stiller, fucking Chris Rock, Conan O'Brien. They all made Steve Buscemi. It was fucking great, man. And we're like fifth row seeing it all. Sandler was like a section over in line with me, so I would just reach over and be like,

dude, I grew up on him. He's like my hero, man. He's the coolest. I am a Sandman purist. I saw Jack and Jill in theaters. I've seen The Cobbler two to three times. I'm obsessed, man. He's the reason why I love comedy, dude. I'll never forget.

This goes back to the Korn thing. My mom's side of the family hated me, and I always wanted them to love me. One way that they liked me was I would play Adam Sandler albums for them, and we would sit around and

laugh. I was like, oh my god, they're starting to like me I'll expose more of who I am to them and I go well if you like this here's another band I like and I put on Korn Life is Peachy and it was like and I'll never forget my Uncle Bill going I've had enough

and he turned it off and went upstairs and then they would keep being like you sure you're not gay and I was like shut shut up, Aunt Carol, you fucking bitch. Anyway. But now you've come so far. Yeah. Here we are. Yeah.

Now you never go over the top with anything. Zero insecurities. That's cool, man. Happy Gilmore. You're wearing a suit. That was my childhood. Yes, yes. That was one of my childhood.

My mom used to have to go to University of Pennsylvania for surgeries and doctor's appointments. And to make me not worry about her, she would get bootleg VHS. We literally, from then on the street. Nice, yes. And the first one she brought me was Happy Killmore. We literally walked into the apartment and for all of us, an hour before we could even record, you were going, this is my cane. This is my little cigarette burner. This is another thing I got. Jordan, look at my t-shirt.

Just like we're at your Aunt Carol's. Oh my God. So do you get to hang out with these other celebrities while you're there? Okay, so let me take it through. So I had to get a suit and everything.

What's the matter? What just happened? Am I all right? Yeah, you just had control. I didn't sleep. I didn't sleep. I almost couldn't check into my hotel because I got there at 3 a.m. And the cutoff was at 3 a.m. And I had to smooth talk.

I'm like, oh, I'm in a suit. Okay, okay. You need oxygen to your brain, all right? You just patted your hair down and then immediately puffed it back up. You're just completely Out of control I was hanging with the same man Okay Alright go ahead and walk us through it

Okay so I get asked to go and finally I'm like Alright you know what fuck it I'll go This will be like a fun thing You know whatever So I had to go get a suit you know what? Fuck it. I'll go. This will be like a fun thing. I, you know, whatever. So I had to go get a suit. So I went to Joseph A. Banks. I'm getting fitted for the suit.

La la la. And then I was like, you know what? If I'm going to go, I'm going to fucking do it up right. So I went to Georgetown Tobacco and I got a cigarette holder for my cigarette so that you can put it here so you can't tell, you know? Yeah. Getting into weird details. Pack a cigarette. Let's expedite.

That's not the question at all. What's going on? What was the question? What was the question? Your Honor. Who you were rubbing elbows with. Who you hanging out with. You smoking cigarettes with any celebrities?

Any other celebrities smoking? Actually, no. Only you. So, I get to the hotel and Nikki's at the Four Seasons. She's this bitch. She sends me a text that goes, come before six and get ready with me.

Okay. So, I show up with my new cane, which I got at Georgetown Tobacco. It's called a Pippi cane because it was made, this is the guy who made it. He has a cat named P Tobacco. It's called a Pippi cane because it was made. This is the guy who made it. He has a cat named Pippi. So he made a Pippi cane.

There's only two of these. And now I have one and I'm going to paint it like Samson. It'll be my Samson cane. That's awesome. I needed that. Want to talk to Samson? Want to talk to Samson? So I get to Nikki's room and she is like aghast at the fact that I am not ready and I'm a mess.

So I'm fucking getting ready. I'm throwing clothes. I'm putting suits on in the shower. First of all, I emptied my cigarettes on her bed to put them in my little case. She didn't like that Dude she had Makeup artist hair stylist And I'm coming in like where can I put my Pippi King

So then I shower Right and I'm like I gotta Trim my mustache so I have mustache scissors So I'm in the mirror and I Cut my lip and I'm just Gushing blood. And I could not stop laughing, imagining on CNN,

them being like, and Adam Sandler and the camera bands to Nikki, who's just gorgeous. Like, and I smile and my mouth is full of blood. And you have a cat cave. Dude, you look like a supervillain. You look like a villain.

Yeah, everywhere. It's better. You look like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar when he's getting out of the bathroom. How did you fix it? I just wiped it off. We don't need to talk about it. I carried Neosporin in my pocket. And my Pepto.

I had gas. So this is yesterday? Yesterday, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. So it's in D.C. So then she goes, hey, let's go down. Spade wants us to say hi.

And I'm like, oh, wants us? I don't think so. He wants you. So we go down and Chris Rock And David Spader sitting there And Rock and I have seen each other a million times But he still was like I will prove myself to you one day Christopher

This guy's gonna bleed all over me I don't need him around right now Yeah they act like I'm the weirdo And I got a mouth full of blood So I'm outside like chain spoke And I come back and Nikki's like Well I cancelled the Uber. Let's hang out for a minute. I'm like, Jesus Christ. I canceled what?

The Uber. Oh. So I'm like fucking starving, dude. And Spade has like a fucking chicken and a burger and a salad and there's fries and there's truffle bread and a fucking thing of prawns and Rock's got soup and a burger. Wait, pause. The first time I hung out with Chris Rock, I was

eating somebody else's french fries at the cellar. They weren't mine. Chris sat down. No, no, no, you don't need more of that. You don't need more of burger. Wait, pause. The first time I hung out with Chris Rock, I was eating somebody else's french fries at the cellar. They weren't mine. Chris sat down. No, no, no, you don't need more of that. You don't need more of that. No, bad boy. Chris sat down and I go, oh, these aren't my fries. And he goes, they're not my fries. And then we both just ate this entire basket of

fries that weren't mine. I like train yarding. Well, yeah, that was my move for a while. What is it? Train yarding? Because like for a while I didn't work enough to make enough money to exist. And so when we would go, if we were like on the road or whatever, I would order like

the $2 like single scrambled egg because it came with toast and hash browns. So it was almost a full meal for $3. Holy hell. And everyone else was ordering like chicken parm and all this other shit. And most of them wouldn't finish their meal by the end. So I'd be like, I'm going to finish that. And so we'd ship it down. I was like, oh, train yard lamelli around the.

Dude, I'm train yard. Yeah, train yard is great. Dude, dude, I'm the conductor. Because guess what I did? I ate all their food against their wishes. Did you really? Nice. Oh, God.

Wait, OK, keep going. All right. So she said we're gonna say Initially Initially What Mine Initially

Nikki goes can you have a chip And they go yeah There were chips on the table A chip Like I'm gonna have one chip And so I started eating it Yeah, have some fries. There were chips on the table. A chip? Yeah. Like, I'm going to have one chip. And so I started eating it. And then I'm kind of like, I've eaten my allotted amount of French fries.

And then I'm just looking at the thing of prawns on a mountain of ice. And David Spade's like, you want some shrimp? I see you eyeing them. And I go, well, I'm going to have some. He goes, yeah, have them. I don't think I'm going to eat them. So I go, okay. He goes, have some shrimp? I see you eyeing them. And I go, well, he goes, yeah, have them. I don't think I'm going to eat them. So I go,

okay. He goes, have some shrimp. So they bring the shrimp over to me. And here's a question. You like experiments and finding things out about people. Someone says, have some shrimp.

I'm not really going to eat them. And they put them in front of you. And there's five. How many do you eat? Three, two, one. I ate five. Oh yeah. you eat? Three. Two. One. I ate five.

I ate them all. I ate them all, and let me tell you, God smited me because of the lemon and marinara got into the cut on my lip. Oh! And the fishy, fishy, fishy. No.

But I think Rock respected it, because after that, he talked to me. You ate all five? I ate all five. All five. They had so much fucking food there. And so what if the guy who owned Netflix named Ted was there? That's all he knows me from is the man who couldn't stop eating shrimp. Wait, there were five shrimp left.

Yes. And you ate all five because you would eat one and then wait and then you would eat one and then wait or did you collect them all at once? They put the plate in front of me. Oh, gone. And I just started eating it and no one was touching it. The fucking shrimp was on the table. Why isn't there a buffet?

Nope. This was at the hotel. This was pre. We hadn't even gone. It was a hang that I wasn't invited to Oh okay And You know We need someone to eat The rest of our stress

If somebody goes I see You want them I'm not gonna eat them Here And puts them in front of you It's rude In some cultures

Not to eat them all Yeah What I would Like You could eat three And then a check in pause Like hey You sure you don't want any

And normally when they see There's only two left They're not to go for two because you already had three i'll concede you're right you know that little check i did the most embarrassing thing the other night who's what's the guy kurt metzger was at the cellar and he was there with a friend and the friend eats half of his plate of food and then he's like um i'm done with this and i the server came over went to take it i pushed it back down on the table and i was like sir i don't know you i i don't know if you're a comic. I've never met you in my life, but I'm going to eat your whole plate.

And he was like, absolutely. And pushed it towards me. And I could see Metzger want to be like, this is out of control. But he was too deep in a Ukraine conspiracy theory. So I was like, look, we both have our downfalls. We both have our issues here. So you go on about the fucking Jews and I'm going to eat all of this. Look, I will say it like I think it was fine for me to eat them.

But where I did slip up is I put the shells on my fingers and went, well, what's your back rub? Mr. Netflix, would you like a back rub? So anyway, who's Mr. Netflix? The guy who owns Netflix, Ted. His name's Ted? He was at the table. Yeah, the guy's name is Ted. Ted the guy who owns owns Netflix Ted I don't know his name his name's Ted he was at the table yeah the guy's name's Ted Ted Netflix

the owner of Netflix Ted Netflix he's there he invented Netflix he sold me house a bunch of shrimp five shrimp is not that much

I just keep thinking of you keep saying David Spade and shrimp I just keep thinking about the shrimp and Tommy boy where they're at the diner oh yeah Chris Farley orders like the shitty shrimp I just watched Black She the shrimp and Tommy boy where they're at the diner. Oh yeah. Chris Farley orders like the shrimp.

And I just watched black sheets the other night. Best movie. When he rolls down the hill. That is comedy that doesn't, he rolls down the hill and then he just keeps rolling for like, it must be seven minutes of the movie and then just gets up and that's the end of the bit. I was losing my mind.

What the hell was that all about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I must have fell in some mud. Oh, yeah. Yes, you're the first person to find white mud. The bits don't make any sense. It's so weird that somebody was like, have him call it mud.

And have Spade be like, that's not mud. And somebody's like, that's hilarious. Put that in there. It works. It's so good. Yeah, it was like have him call it mud and have Spade be like that's not mud and somebody's like that's hilarious put that in there it works it's so good yeah it was like surreal you know it's like a cartoon and so we go to the event right and it's there's like a red carpet and Nikki was like

I gotta go on the red carpet and I was like am I allowed she's like I don't think you can try but I don't think and I was like alright I guess she's like i i don't think you can try but i don't think and i was like all right i guess i'll go hang out in a cage like what the fuck am i gonna do i'm not gonna sit there like sit in the car i'll call you when i'm done that i'm gonna go chain smoke outside so they let me on the red carpet and uh we went up and dude it's all these flash and they're fucking like over here over here over here and they're like uh asking like

who are you wearing who are you wearing? Who are you wearing? And then for me, because I had the cat game, they go, where'd you get the cane? Like that was their question. I was like, Georgetown tobacco. It's a pippy cane. And Getty Images, you know, Getty Images. So they always zoom in on like someone's purse.

For me, they zoomed in on the fucking cat thing. And my stepbrother's ring is in it. Yeah. So there's a picture of me with my rings and the cat thing, like zoomed in on the fucking cat and my stepbrother's ring is in it yeah yeah i gotta send that to a picture of me with my rings and the cat thing like zoomed in or whatever and i played it like a guitar new default and uh yeah it was so cool it was great so i'm like feeling like a million bucks you know like fucking red carpet finance you know so then we go outside i'm i'm ripping butts and uh there's paparazzi and all these fucking people in a pen wanting to autograph some pictures.

So we just go out, and I hear someone be like, oh my god, Ian Blondblond. I'm like, I'll be with you in a minute. I'm Vedante. But then they see Nikki, and they all forget about me. So then, so then, yeah.

You're like Dice, who walks around. Oh, dude, Dice. Oh, you want to take a picture with me? The fucking best. He's like, no, you guys, I'm really, today's not okay. All right, I'll do it. And they're like, what the fuck, man? What are you talking about?

It all pans to a statue. He's like, okay, okay. It's just a woman standing. It's so good. A heroin addict folded over. He's always got some ridiculous outfit on. He's so good. A heroin addict folded over. He's always got like some ridiculous outfit on, like some bright purple like hood on. It's like a food delivery driver.

He's like, okay. This club I went to the other day, not a club, but like some shitty venue. They played me a voicemail of Dice being like, hey, you guys said you were sending- It's not a shitty venue. They're good guys. Sorry.

But they would like that it's shitty. It's like an Irish fucking, yeah. Somebody boosted another venue to be called shitty. Not shitty shitty it's not a club it's a great place you're right great you're right it's a great place i love that cozy oh you're right it's shitty and i like shitty shitty as in i like people are drunk i know what you're saying yeah the green room is literally like in a crawl space i love it bars but he plays with the voicemail of Dex being like, hey, you know, I said I wanted a limo. You guys sent an Escalade. All the best. I wish. And then just

left and didn't do any of the shows. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't do any of the fucking gigs. Just because he didn't get the correct car. In like bumfuck nowhere. That's awesome. Yeah. In 2023. I was going to say, when? Oh, all right. I didn't. This is like three weeks ago. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was like, say, when? This is like three weeks ago.

No, no, no. It was like not that long ago. That's incredible. What's up, everybody? I am coming to you live from a hotel in Fayetteville, Georgia. Yeah, I'm saying it

quality in. Guess what? Opposite day, because it's not quality. But I am in here. Look, man, it's like four in the morning. I'm not really feeling too creative, so here's your fucking end, okay? Regular nicotine pouches on the gas station are too rash. They're weak. They're flavorless.

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"'Huh. Smells smoke. Smells like fire.' I go, "'I hope not.' She goes, "'Well, it's either outside or inside. We'd rather have it be outside.' Then just walked away." And I was like, "'All right. Well, I hope there's not. Let me even.

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Bye-bye. So the red carpet is like the entrance of the building is here all the people are lined up here and here like picture wanting pictures and stuff and behind us is where the limos and everything pull up with like legit celebrities right so nobody's like pulling up or anything and i hear like ian ian can we get a picture and i'm like no problem where do you want me to sign you know know, I'm just like, I'm the man. And I'm walking up and, uh, they're all looking and they go, there he is. There he is. And I go, Hey guys. And, uh, someone more important was behind me and that's who they were. There he is. And nobody talked to me.

My God, to me. Oh my God. Excuse me. Excuse me. Was his name Ian? No, no. They cared about me for a second and then when they realized more important people were there,

I could not have existed less to them. I even said, hey guys, nobody looked. Wow. I was like Rick Moranis at the end of Ghostbusters when he's like, does anyone want to interview me?

And they're like, come this way. They put a blanket over you like, this guy shouldn't be here. Let's get him into the ambulance. It was the biggest fraud moment I've ever had. Who was it? Do you know who it was? I couldn't bear to look. No, it was Steve Buscemi. It was fucking

important people. Yeah, that's crazy Buscemi. It was fucking important people. Yeah, that's crazy. That's why I like when Jim Carrey was on the red carpet and the woman's like, what are you wearing or something? And he was like, this is the worst place I've ever been in my life and I never should have come here. Is it like that? Is it rough like that? No, no, no. I thought it was great

that I was nothing to them. I thought that was the funniest. Was it like teat gobblers though? Was it cum guzzlers? I enjoyed being the guy that didn't belong. I fucking love that. I was going around. I kept fucking trail mix in my pocket.

I was popping it around. I was having fun with it. I was going around. I told Nikki I was going to go up to people and be like, hi, nice to meet you. 88 million people really voted providing. You really think you really think that, by the way, I have a podcast. Yeah.

Just like like I was at one point walking around. I swear to God, putting my finger on my beard. I have eyes on Obama. I have eyes on Obama. So much fun. It's like going to a wedding. I was like doing inside jokes with myself because everyone there sucks. Did they suck?

It was insane. So you were the goblin. You did feel like the goblin. Were the press cum guzzlers? No, no, no. I sat and talked to the picture guys. But the second someone more important than you is there,

you no longer are human Such a weird job to choose That sucked that made me feel like shit But I was like oh you want to make me feel like shit I'm going to fucking you know Just take advantage of the amenities And sneak in and steal food And eat all your food

At the end of the party You're screaming you've been screaming For a full I don't think there's been one moment I mean it's crazy At the end I had Eight things of shrimp cocktails I kept going back I had six crab cakes

I mean I took them all It's a lot of seafood Oh I was eating hunks of salmon Can I say something I know that's crazy So one time I went in There was all this shrimp backstage When I was eating hunks of salmon. Dude, can I say something? I know that's crazy, but can I say something? So one time I went in, there was all this shrimp backstage when I was with Louie on the road. And I start eating the shrimp

and Louie goes, don't eat that shrimp. That's bad shrimp. And I'm like, okay, absolutely not. You're right. And then he gets on stage. I run back to the green room and eat the entire plate of shrimp. I'm talking like 30 shrimp.

I vomited all night. i was dating a dude i was standing over the toilet naked he walked in sees me over the toilet naked slaps my butt i projectile vomit shrimp out like a little action figure yeah that was like the thing like it was the one thing i needed and then i i mean i vomited all night so that's a hard time to move you can't overeat shrimp this was in Pennsylvania too I was going around flinking my shrimp cocktail with people's actual drinks and I was like I drank the shrimp

cocktail juice people were like what the fuck I loved it I had a blast I would see people I knew people were like who the fuck is this guy? I'd preemptively be like, and give them a wink and stuff. It was great. I fucking loved it. Do you eat the tails of the shrimp or not?

No, but I eat the shrimp. I eat the tails. You gotta eat the tails. Nelly's mom. You eat the tails? I eat the tails. I eat the tails and the cartilage off chicken wings. No, dude. The cartilage off chicken wings. No, dude. Yes. Cartilage off chicken wings is a lot.

I know someone else who does that, though. Yeah, yeah, you guys. What do you get out of the shell of a shrimp? That's wild. Tons of extra flavor, and it's crunchy and fun. Yeah, I mean, if it's a disgusting- Oh, yeah, I recently stopped. But I don't like-

Where is this coming from? I don't like shrimp cocktail. I don't like that. No, it's cooked. It's hot, yeah. And then it's great because it's crunchy. Yeah. Okay. It's fun. It's a little extra. Yeah, no. I don't like shrimp cocktail. I don't like that. It has to be. No, it's cooked. It's hot. Yeah. And then it's great because it's crunchy. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. It's a little. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I thought you were peeling. Because then it's just eaten. I don't like cold. You take the peel out.

Yeah, you're just like popping in like prawn heads. I don't like cold shrimp at all. Cold shrimp is disgusting to me. Oh, it's cold shrimp. Yeah. I'm not a big without the tail. No, I don't. I'm not into it.

I think because of the vomiting. You know what I mean? It's tough to go back once something was poisoned you that bad. Well, then they had a dessert room. A whole room full of dessert. Tell me about the dessert room. You know me and my sugar battle. You guys are off sugar, right?

I had a green room full of whole candy bars over the weekend. Every drawer, plastic, see-through drawer, cow tails, stacked. Three musketeers, stacked. I mean, I went in and ate a bite of each one and threw the rest away, but I feel bad. I lost my battle last night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I courageously fought, but it's rich people dessert. You can't not. People with money have the most amount of free shit, and it is insane. I mean, the Four Seasons Hotels has a candy vault. That's why I felt like I had to steal from them.

Yeah. And take everything. But that's why it's bad for poor people to be among rich people because we overdo it and we make ourselves so sick. Oh, God, I know. Yeah.

I mean, maybe that's why the rich people have it around. So it's something for the poor people to do. That's why the Romans had the vomitoriums so they could eat a whole bunch then puke it all up and then eat some more because food tastes awesome. It's something for the poor people to do. That's why the Romans had the volatoriums. So they could eat a whole bunch, then puke it all up and then eat some more because food tastes awesome. It's so crazy.

I remodeled this penthouse for this very rich open mic-er and it was like they had a candy stack. Who? Do I know them? Jake Fromm. It's okay. He's quit doing comedy. But I remodeled that thing and they just had just overflowing. Or just in LA, we went to Chris or Evan Williams's birthday party

You weren't there, but I went and they LA people overflowing candy and me and the New Yorkers I was with just fucking sat none of us drink housed all of it Is it is it the people who are sober? It's that the rich people can have it around to be cute. I would never imagine eating candy. I love it. It's fun. What?

That's like a vice. That's all we do. It's like a vice, I guess. I pour candy on my hotel bed. You don't eat candy? Yeah, it's probably like rich people. Oh, we have a candy bed in our hotel and then a non-candy bed.

Yeah. I put candy on my bed and I eat it like a dog eating out of a bowl. No hands. There's a difference between candy and desserts that I think is the fine line.

Well, that's the thing. This wasn't candy. This was dessert. I don't know. I mean, I was housing chocolate-covered strawberries, some sort of chocolate pop things, and I was just eating it like a cake pop. Oh, that'll make his itch. I was just eating it, and there was no

trash can around, so I was just taking the stems and putting them in plants. Just eating more. And then Nicky's like, we need to go see Jennifer Aniston in the VIP. so I was just taking the stems and putting them in plants. Just eating more. And then Nicky's like, we need to go see Jennifer Aniston in the VIP. And I was like, did you see Jennifer Aniston? At the event, but not at the VIP. Did you go to the VIP?

Yeah. What was in there? VIPs. And then they made drinks that were on fire and stuff. More snacks. That shit is so gay to me. The fire drinks is so gay. But I did say, I'll take a seltzer and set it on fire and stuff. More snacks. That shit is so gay to me. The fire drinks is so gay. But I did say, I'll take a seltzer and set it on fire, please. And they did. Did they really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, cool. I'll take a fiery seltzer. And then my back was to Adam Sandler's back, and I so badly wanted to turn around and be like, dude, I just have to thank you. But I didn't. He was like with his family. I didn't want to be like that guy. How tall is he? But he's taller than me. Is he very tall? Rob Schneider's tiny. He and I talked. He was like with his family. I didn't want to be like that guy. How tall is he? He's taller than me. Is he very tall?

Rob Schneider's tiny. He and I talked. He was so sweet. That's awesome. How tall is the Sandman? I have imagined seven feet. How tall are you? He's that short? He's like 5'11". Oh, I thought he was like 6'4".

He looks huge to me. I think he's 5'11". He's the best. I'm 6'1", 6'2", on a good day. You, Rob? 5'10". Yeah, he's about Rob's size. Really?

I thought he was massive for some reason. That's interesting. I think it, maybe I'm imagining this in my dreams, but I think at one point we did lock eyes and be like. Really? I've had that happen with a couple people. This is where the blood on your face would have come in handy You'd be surprised because

if your face is dabbled around people will look at you like that They'll look at you and be like, I kinda and then you're like, I almost had you for a second but there is that feeling And then, oh, I met Alan Cover, which was awesome He was

the, he's like Sandler's best friend. We should talk about Incendiary, don't you think? Oh, yeah. So, you guys. What the fuck? I'm talking about Adam Sandler. You said me the whole time, tell us about this, tell us about that. No, I didn't say that. I was just saying maybe we should pivot now. Yeah, fucking pivot then. Wait, oh, but we

should get to the finish line. Why are you still in the suit? Oh, yeah, you're right. No, I'm not being mean. I was just saying he showed the 45-minute mark. Maybe people listening to this episode want to hear about it, the guests on the episode. Just tell me. You fucking told me to tell the story, bitch.

I don't know if I did, but we can... We'll go back because she said tell about it. Didn't she even? I don't remember. I asked about it, too. I think they asked about it. I don't remember. I asked about it too. I think they asked about it. Bobcat pushed. Anyway, I got back to the hotel late.

I was going to jerk off. I pulled my pants down, woke up with my pants down in the suit and I missed my train. I hate that. I hate when you're going to jerk off and you fall asleep and you wake up boots on, pussy out. Just Winnie the Pooh. It's awful. It's awful.

It's the next level of pressure. You're like, did somebody rape me? Or did I do it again? Did I do this on the TV? I'm like, what have I become? I would feel as bad if I was in a suit and that happens. I feel like I'm in a suit. Like I was doing important stuff. Yeah, but then you remember how good you looked and then you just, as naked as the day God made you.

You know? Yeah. So then I just zipped up and then left and then ran on the Amtrak, and then I got here, and then I did a podcast on the way in the cab on Zoom here, and then Rob showed up while I was at, you both showed up while I was ending it and then now

we're here. So what's it like being in a band? What's that podcast? It was Nicky's podcast. So you slept through and then you got on the Amtrak here. And I yelled at a fucking French woman because she wouldn't shut up and I was making eyes at other people on the train like

You believe this shit? Yeah! And I fucking old uncle Ian did it. What'd you say? I said hey frog girl shut the fuck up. Damn. No I didn't. I didn't. Hell yeah. I said excuse me. I finally told the guy with a bluetooth speaker

to stop on the train. That's fucking suicide. Isn't that amazing? Because there's a homeless guy sleeping and I said you're bothering him. Wait, what kind of guy was he? A little Dominican man. Scary.

I said, I said, what do you, I said, scary. I said, this is crazy what you're doing here. Cause he's blasting music.

That's crazy. And I, and I point to the homeless man who's looking at me and I go, he's trying to fucking sleep, dude. This is, you're in his house. And then the Dominican man got off the train with his Bluetooth speaker.

And I was, it was like a decrepit man no the homeless man was no he was he could have fought me bro i was pissed i always yeah i'm trying to get beat up insane i got a switchblade knife at a gig really yep like a gift like a gift that's great yeah if you have that on you tell whoever you want to shut the fuck up the switchblade knife i think it can be used on me if i carry it around the taser i think you have to be ready, tell whoever you want to shut the fuck up. The switchblade knife, I think it can be used on me if I carry it around. The taser, I think, is what I need. You have to be ready to use it.

That's right. You got the taser, too. The switchblade knife is so addicting. Flipping it open. Oh, I had a problem with a flip out knife. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I yelled at a car, what are you looking at, while I was flipping around.

Not even a button. It was a loose Leatherman. So not a even a, it was a loose Leatherman. So not a single blade on there. A loose Leatherman. That I was pretending was a butterfly knife. And I yelled at a car, what are you looking at? And it stopped short and went in reverse. I'm like, oh, I'm so fucked.

It was me and my friends walking to the movies. We were like 16. And you just have a rusty Leatherman that's broken. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, what'd you say? I was just like, I told them a joke that was funny. And we laughed at it. And he's like, yeah, that's what I thought. And he just have a rusty Leatherman that's broken. And he's like, what'd you say? I was like, I told them a joke that was funny and we laughed at it. And he's like, yeah, that's what I thought. And he just drove away.

I've been that person. I've been the person to pull up on. I've had somebody yell shit out at me, like on my motorcycle. And then they stop at a red light and I pull up and I'm like, excuse me. What did you just say just now? And I make them repeat it or something. It's my favorite thing to do. I've done that on my bicycle with my bike lock

and I've circled around them like a shark. Isn't it? That is fucking tough. What the fuck you want to say? I've done it to ambulances. One time that a guy came back and he smacked my coffee out of my hand and he was like, you're an asshole!

And I go, I'm an asshole? Fuck you! And he pushed me and I spit in his face. I had a guy spit on me. That was my big repercussion as I chased him down. And I was like, what the fuck? Are you fucking retarded? Because he almost hit me. And he spit right on me and I was like, that was a mistake. I spit on his face. I was ready to

fucking go. I spit on an audience at the cell last night. You're crazy. What? I forgot. On purpose? Why? Wait, while you were on stage. In a fit of rage. You went like, fuck you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, like while you were talking. No, no, no, no, no. What? I was talking about men making women cum and I was doing a whole bit. And then at the end of it, I went and spit on the ground. But some of it got on the audience. It was awesome. Interactive.

It was awesome, actually. Did anyone get upset? No, no. Maybe I'll get that tape. I should get that tape. Yeah, you're the new Gallagher. And then I hope you die soon. I hope you guys are in a band. Tell us about it in Cedary.

It's cool and fun. You get to do fun things for like a half hour with your friends and then you just travel for like six hours. Yeah. You got to unload. You got to pack up. You got just travel for like six hours. Yeah. You gotta unload. You gotta pack up. Yeah, yeah. You gotta do sound check. We do all that stuff. Crazy. Yeah, but it's fun. It's fun because you're hanging out the whole time. Yeah. We're lucky. All of us in our band, we're like all good friends

first, which kind of just worked out. Yeah. So that's a big thing. I can imagine like being in a band with people that like you know, you're a hired gun. Hired guns are just people, I don't know, some people just in bands. You know, like you broke up and you're just guns are just people, I don't know, some people are just in bands. You're like, you broke up and you're just doing it for the money, but you hate each other still

and everything. So like the whole process is fun. Yeah. And then how'd you guys start the band? What happened? Well, it was a band before me and Bob joined. For like a few months. Yeah, and then like two-thirds of the band moved out of state. And I was playing in a joined and then for like a few months for a few yeah and then brendan started it like a third like

two-thirds of the band moved out of state and i was playing in a christian metalcore band at the time not really just at all but i played in a christian i used to love zeo oh i played in love for enemies sacrifice would you play with a love for enemies no shit yeah i played with them for like a year it was pretty tight but then i got fired from that band why uh because i got the door girl in georgia pregnant and she got an abortion and i can't be on a christian record label with an abortion on my record so they were like it's nothing personal we love you i'm literally friends with all of them still today but they were like uh we can't have you in the band because you got one of those. I was like, that's fair.

And then I was fired. And then they broke up like six months later. I fucking love that. Jokes on everybody. Holy shit. You got the door girl pregnant. That is like a fucking four hour story, but it's pretty wild. Oh, dude, that's so great. So I just got fired from that band.

Hey, you're our best friend, but we're a Christian metal band. We can handle our abortion. Literally, it was that. If anyone ever found out, we'd all be caught. There's some joke in there about her being bad at security. You know what I mean?

She's not keeping everybody out. You know what I mean? She didn't check a few wristbands. Yeah, yeah. There it is. There it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.

At least one little guy got by her. You know what I mean? You're on the guest list, I guess. But then she kicked him out. Three months later, hey, let me see your wristband. Yeah, that's what I thought. No handstand. Okay, cool.

So I had just gotten fired. My friend Tom, who plays in Straight from the Path, was like, hey, Dan Turr, you remember him because you used to work at Hot Topic with John Lewis. And we all were like friends together. It was just like, oh, they need a drummer. You should talk to Dan Turr. And I hit him up and he was just like, yeah, come in and try out. And then like you were there and there was another guy who played guitar before Brian, but he wasn't around too much longer.

And then then it was just us. All that was in the first handful of months. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then, yeah. So four of us have been in the band pretty much the whole time. Since 2007. And it all started to just like play locally once in a while.

A lot of our other friends are in full-time bands. Play Strife covers. I was listening to Strife in the hotel room i was getting ready hell yeah our other band played with strife recently really yeah oh my god that was awesome so yeah that's how it all starts to hang out and honestly do that and then yeah and then you know write a few songs write a few more and then like our friends dig it and then like our friends started booking shows at places so like we would do it and like you say we all have jobs so this was just like a fun like side thing i think brendan was in uh graduate school at the time i was finishing up college we were all finishing school yeah so like we had no plans

to do like full-time touring it was just like do as much as we can with the time that we have and then uh and then like people like us you know so then you just pound the pavement on weekends go up to fucking new england down to balt everywhere, you know, like in that area. And then it was just like, you guys should go to California. And we were just like, yeah, we should go to California. And this is like, let's just go to Europe for no reason. All these opportunities. You know, like we don't know if anybody likes us.

Fucking go. You guys have that special thing. You have the weird guitar thing that comes in out of nowhere. It's so sick. It's like you've broken up the monotony that can happen a lot with that type, with that style of hardcore. You know what I mean? You guys have like figured out how to make it not.

Oh, thanks. You know what I mean? Honestly, it's just an amalgamation of all stuff that we listen to. Or that's where like said. Derivative. Honestly, it's just an amalgamation of all stuff that we listen to. Or, you know, that's where, like, all the inspiration comes from. And, uh. Like, what bands? Who are your guys? Oh.

So. Mark Maron. WTA. We all listen to all different types of music. Fair enough. We all agree on, like, the same heavy and hardcore bands. So, I. Probably Vision of Disorder.

VOD. Oh, yeah. 108. Strife. Snapcase. So like that's like those are probably all the bands. Yeah. Like originally. It's also odd that me and Bob on here because I think we're the two like biggest new metal fans out of everyone in the band. So I mean we all we all dig the early Korn stuff.

There you go. Limp Bizkit, Umpto Significant Other and stuff like that. I mean that's what I got. How'd, I'm just significant other and stuff like that. I mean, that's what I got. How'd you get into like corn and stuff like that? And then how do you make the leap from corn to fucking strife? I feel like I grew up just listening to music like very early on,

like an actual child. My uncle used to listen to like Slayer, Metallica, Anthrax, all that. And I was always drawn to that. So I just loved music and like heavy music before I even knew what it was. And then I think because of,

it was like MTV and like the radio when Korn came out. I remember when Korn came out, everyone's like, oh my God, there's this band and the guy sings nursery rhymes, like Shoes and Ladders. The song is called All Day I Dream About Sex. Yes! I've seen all that video on the Tinks video.

When they're in the easiest body bags. Oh, that's victory. When they're in the Adidas body bag. Oh, that's cool. When you're in fifth grade? Yeah. Sixth grade? This is like the sickest thing ever. I used to twist my hair to try to get dreads like Jonathan Davis. I had like head.

I had those hair twists. They had super long hair. And so I had a friend come over and do it one time. Like I was like balls deep in new metal. But it was mtv k-rock and then i worked at hot topic and like that's where i kind of like found hardcore um i remember finding my bands from the spencer's gifts wristband yeah there were all these wristbands and i was like what a system of a down and then i would look it up and then you know what i mean

it was like a pre-internet world. So there wasn't like, oh, just stream this. You'd find a keychain and be like, what is this? If you were going to buy a CD, you're like winging a Hail Mary that it's good. Well, like MTV and all that, that was like kind of easily accessible.

But I know with hardcore, like VOD and then Sick of It All was like the other, one of the first records I bought in the hardcore world. And I remember you just read, reading the booklets. The thank yous.

Yes. That's how I would find bands. They shout out different bands and you look up those bands and it's just this whole outlet to a whole other world that you didn't even know existed which you know like that's all I like really did. You just literally sit there read it all and then I'd ride my bike

to Tower Records. Have like a list. Yeah. Don't buy it all. And then even if it, even if I didn't like it originally, I just played over and over, which I feel like I don't do anymore. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I do that now. And that's when you kind of get hooked into that world without like knowing. But it was always that thing, hardcore, and then always listen to everything else. Like mainstream metal and all that stuff.

I've always just loved it all. Yeah. I mean, Dan too. But yeah, it was cool. Like eye-opening to see that whole world. And then I don't know if you've ever seen

this New York hardcore documentary that came out in like the mid-90s. 1995 with like 25 to Life, Crown of Thorns. I just saw Crown of Thorns. That is the hardest man I have ever seen in my entire life. Oh, Danny DeOz. He's sick. Holy shit.

He's a pisser. That's what also weirded me. It was the first time I saw it very young. You see what the shows look like. How fucking wild and off the wall it is. Nothing like a concert or anything else that I've seen.

They're all just in warehouses and stuff. That was insanity. It's completely different. It's always punctuated. I remember at your guys' show, I talk about it on stage sometimes, how you guys are like, you would stop singing the hardest music ever and then be like, by the way, all of our merch,

a lot of the proceeds goes to Briarpatch, Little Sheep, Baby Farm. You know what I mean? Like, there's so many vegans. There's so many, like, straight edge people. And there is always, like, even the Crown of Thorns guy was like, don't let people hurt your feelings between a song. And I was like, even the Crown of Thorns guy was like, don't let people hurt your feelings between a song. And I was like, what's happening? Isaac is one of the funniest characters in the world.

He's insane. And he's amazing in the documentary. The shit he says in the documentary is so hilarious. It's such a quotable thing. You should get him on this. It's on YouTube for free if you want to watch it. Dude, that'd be unreal. I'd love to have Isaac on. You should do it.

He's got tattoos all the time. The guy who tattooed our incendiary tattoos is boys with him. Yeah, you sent me a pic and I was like, man, I recognize that guy and I realized who it was. Because Rich is in a band. He's in a hardcore band too. Yeah, I forget what band he's in. I recognize him more from just

shows. Really? Yeah, well dude. That's so cool though Doesn't he tattoo all those guys? Yeah he does Rich said that He's like hit him up and was like There's these comedians wearing Crown of Thorns shirts So we gotta get him on

I saw him going into Billy Joel At Madison Square Garden Whoever his friends were with He's wearing this huge fur coat. And I'm with my parents and my brother. We got him tickets to Billy Joel for Christmas. And I'm walking up and it's just like, oh, yeah. I wasn't going to say hi.

My parents introduced Danny Diablo to my mom. That's so funny. It's like, this is my mom, Linda. She enjoys cleaning and cleaning products. Wow. Yeah, I went to the Crown of Thorns and I was like, this is who was it was trapped on. Trapped under ice in Crown of Thorns. Yeah.

And I remember just being like, this is like this guy. I mean, first of all, the mosh pit he was demanding was amazing. It was like he was creating something that was it was so like he would he had like a perfect flow of people would start ripping each other apart and he would get it to chill and then bring it back up again. But there were no 19-year-olds that you see now. You know what I mean? It was just all people above 30 and it was just chaos. People with not enough health insurance to be dancing that hard. Yeah, and with chunks of just missing teeth, gold teeth, hard as fuck.

Some would say some of them are mentally vexed I remember just plastering myself up against The post I guess on stage They are pretty much a really big juggernaut The sunglasses are going back on I love that though Especially those bands

They're all getting older we're all getting older yeah the crowd that is too but you see people still bringing it yeah in good and bad ways

but it's that alone is entertaining but that like fear I had going to shows like that tapped into something inside me

when I was younger that I fucking loved and needed me too I'm like insanity just like this uneasiness. Yeah.

But you like, you enjoy it. Right. I remember that with concerts too. Like being, being a kid, like 12 years old, going to go see Smashing Pumpkins.

But it like, I remember reeking of cigarettes. Yeah. I think that's part of why I love cigarettes too. But going to that, you see all these older people, they're, they're just,

you know, scary. Like, you don't know what's going on. You're like a kid. And then like, there's this, there's like tension that something's gonna go wrong yeah and then hardcore shows were like that it was like that under a magnifying glass it was like going to

the foot layer you know and it's just like oh yeah okay this was going on yeah i still feel that too yeah but in in like a weird way of like safety as well because everyone else is like and also you see like when somebody gets injured, like everybody makes sure they're okay and everything, you know. Me running under Ian the other day going, he has a bad back. He has a bad back. That's just kidding. Not serving at Angel Dust. You guys had a kid who came up to me at your show who was like, hey, I just want to say like I've been trying to quit weed and it's really hard for me because all my friends are cool and they smoke weed and you and Ian think weed is really gay so I think that's really cool. It was really sweet. It was adorable.

We're seeing more people at our shows wearing your guys' gear and stuff like that. This guy was front row at my show the other night wearing a Terror shirt. Hell yeah. Oh my god. I like in the middle of the set. I was like, you know, I like to do stuff that it's, you know, fun and I'm always going to have my friends back

because we stick tight. Oh my God. Your brain's broken again. We can't let it break again. This will happen. It will break. That's so cool. I guess we just got to be keepers of the faith. What? Oh.

Now you're just saying band names. Now you're just saying title. But you're not integrating it into the conversation. We've all got to be keepers of the faith. We're just saying band names Now you're just saying No, no, but you're not integrating it into the conversation You just literally It's just words, we're all saying words But you know what And we always gotta talk and make noise Because silence is a sentence

Hey That's like my favorite song on that record that we never play I love that song Why don't you play it? Why don't you play that song? What is the biggest one play that song? I don't think people really liked it. Yeah, we tried. What is the biggest one,

Family Tree? We tried. What, the biggest one live? Zeitgeist. Like from House of Living? I don't know the names. We don't know the names of any songs. Yeah, I know. We just use our working titles.

We have all of like working titles. I've had people hand me back set lists and be like, this is not your guys' song. Front Toward Enemy. I think that's the most played one. Oh, yes. The third song.

Primitive Rage. Yeah, that one does well played one. Oh, yes. The third song. Primitive Rage. Yeah, that one does well, too. That one does well. Zeitgeist? You don't fucking... That we play a lot. Unfortunately, most of the songs at the front of the record do very well. Oh, really?

But you guys on Spotify, you do have the thing where your most played songs are your most recent album, which is really great. Yeah. Yeah. That's very fortunate. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I mean, there's a couple dabbled in there. Yeah, that's true, actually. Because, yeah, I guess there's no one still, like, people aren't just dwelling on their early stuff. Yeah, yeah. You see that a lot with hardcore bands where you go to the most played and it's, like, deep in their shit. Because they don't like the newer stuff that comes out. Right, right. But for you guys, it's Zeitgeist and then the rest is all the most recent album.

Yeah. Which is sick. Yeah, it's cool. That's why, the rest is all the most recent album. Yeah. Which is sick. Yeah, it's cool. That's why, yeah. Coming out with this new record after all this time is exciting. And we just have the cost of living 10 year anniversary, which is wild. Yeah. That's even 10 years.

That's actually also cool that you guys got the tattoo when you did. Yeah. Because that's like 10 years when that was created. Right. Oh. That was the record where it came from. Yeah, that was the record where that logo came from. Nice. The timing was cool.

Yeah, I fucking love that. That's awesome. And how, like, when you did that show, you still didn't tell anyone, like, we're popping off with a new album? No. We were kind of, like, teasing it. We've been playing some new songs live. You had played this one at Amityville, right? I think we played another one.

Another one that was in the works. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Dude, also the. Another one that was in the works. Oh, okay. Dude, also the cover art for the new album is fucking sick. Pretty crazy, right? That's really bad. So sick.

So well. So the artist's name is Daniel Danger. And he's done artwork for a ton of like bands. He does like tour posters for like Nine Inch Nails and Primus and stuff like that.

It's wild. So just to have him want to do it. Yeah. And he was down with our band. That in and of itself was amazing. And then it came out so well. Like he was like invested in it.

He was like telling us like, I'm listening to the record and like drawing it out. And I'm like, so, so crazy. That's awesome. We were all fans of like his artwork prior. And when we were recording Will Putney, he had a bunch of uh you know just band posters like tour posters that that uh that the dude did and um that's so cool that yeah that that same thing kind of happened with uh contino with um cost of living yeah where he was like uh an old like long island hardcore new york hardcore guy he knew of us and we hit him up and he was like

excited to work on it yeah and like and now he's like the homie you know he's like yeah i was yeah like no business doing stuff for us he does and we get so lucky he does lettering for like nike and sports illustrated and major league baseball and stuff like that and then he's just like yeah i'll do your record out layout you guys are awesome he just fucking did it yeah that's the best i mean that happens in comedy too where some you're like no way are you willing to do this you work with the biggest people and they're like yeah dude but i've your your guys's podcast keeps me alive you're like how is this possible yeah how do you have time to do this i'll make time yeah i won't jerk off once and i'll make

you a poster you know what i mean i got sent like a list i was like getting into hardcore and I was like going through the dark times. And I asked my buddy, shout out Josh Wagner, got me into hardcore, amazing comedian. And he sent me a list. And I was like, you guys,

I was like, incendiary, send me more like this. And he was like, you chose the one band that is from New York. That is so funny. Oh, yeah,

yeah, yeah. That was cool. So I wonder if there's just like a New York, because there's also an LA who's from LA. Is Bad Brins from, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's cool. So I wonder if there's just like a New York, because there's also an LA. Who's from LA? Is Bad Brins from LA? No, Bad Brins was Washington, D.C.

Terror's LA. Terror's LA. Zabalba. Although isn't Vogel from Buffalo? Vogel's from Buffalo, married alive, but he moved out of Buffalo a while ago. Is there like a New York way of hardcore? Oh, very great question.

I think there are some definitive elements to New York hardcore that you could like listen to a track and be like, oh, that's a New York hardcore band. Or they're trying to sound like a New York hardcore band. I think it's a little more like bouncier hip hop, not like rap, but like it definitely has that kind of

like swagger to it. You know, it's like you know, like that kind of thing like and you just kind of get like that bounce and flow with it. I think that's what kind of makes it New York hardcore. But it's also like, knock out the teeth of the two people

standing next to you. You know, like it's that kind of feel to it. I wouldn't really label us New York hardcore. I think we're more like Long Island hardcore, which is like an even smaller subdivision because it's like New York hardcore

but with like, I don't know, band kids, you know, like people who like affects pedals. Right, right, right. I feel like Long Island, yeah. I guess VODs. VOD, Glass Draw. They have more technical stuff going on. I feel like... I thought VOD was Jersey. No, Nassau County.

Merrick, 516. But I noticed that hardcore just in on the East Coast, the Northeast, has a certain bite, grit to it. Yeah. And then on the West, it's laid back. Not in a non-heavy way, but it's slower and heavier in a way. It's looser, yeah. It's like hip-hop. The way hip-hop works. Right. Oh, interesting. It's like hip-hop. The way hip-hop works. Right.

Oh, interesting. Like West Coast hip-hop, it's very laid back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chill and awesome in its own way. And New York's more like staccato. New York is like... Who's a West Coast hardcore band? Yeah.

I feel so. West Coast hardcore band? Drain? Yeah. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Where is Angel Dust from? From Maryland. All over.

Baltimore. Yeah, Baltimore. Okay, okay. Where is Angel Dust from? All over. Baltimore. Okay, okay. Baltimore. Because they have almost like a spacier kind of feel. For sure, but I think that's just the style of music that they're going for. All the bands now, it's awesome because there's just more of a mix. And once you get to a certain age,

you start fucking around. You're like, I want to make this weird and add certain shit in and you get the mixing pedals and all that. I mean, that's what he was talking about. The lead singer of Angel Dust was like, getting into weird shit. You guys like Zababa? I don't know. They're our friends from the West Coast. They started when we did. They're like one of my favorite bands.

Oh, I gotta check them out. They're unbelievably heavy. Oh really? I'll send you the record to listen to. Nice. But yeah, so we always, you know. We just got into Kublai Kai. Oh, okay.

Very similar. Kublai Khan and Zabalba. Oh, Kublai Khan. Kublai Khan's like a... And Samurai? Is that what it is? Nope. Tsunami.

How did you know? What's that? How did you know it was Tsunami? Oh, I... I said Samurai and you were like Tsunami. I don't know why I keep calling them Samurai.

Tsunami is so fucking good. They are very good. But they have a similar thing with Kublai Khan. Kublai Khan, similar style, like heavier beat down. It's beat down. It's like beat down hardcore is like more, I feel like West Coast. Now it is. Now it is. But it's without like, there's a lot of semantics but i think like i love this during lockdown i think when everything came back like music wise west coast hardcore was just like boom out of the gates so fucking hard like huge shows bands blowing up and like i feel like for the you know like east coast couldn't really like keep up initially because of stuff um but you know i think it's kind of more leveled out now but they came out of the gates like super swing because you had drain Gulch tsunami like all these bands, right? like specifically the Bay Area, but California just like thousands, you know thousands thousand people like going nuts and then he's because you got like pain of truth and

What other bands were coming that were East Coast coming up kind of big now, but um regulate regulate. Yeah, yeah Really like around a bunch, but they're great. They're not awful. I really really awesome. Yeah that we're east coast coming up kind of big now but um regulate regulate yeah yeah regulate's been around a bunch but they've been great they're jumping off a lot very awesome yeah um i've really gotten into zulu lately they're fucking wild i've gotten into akulu oh akulu yeah that's great um what you would call when you guys are like working on albums do you uh does one person or do you all go, alright, so this part we're going to need like a do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Actually, Brendan, our singer, always has a riff or an idea in his head, and he'll scat it to me. I literally do that, and then I'll start playing it. It always ends up being some new metal thing.

In a cool way. Actually, the beginning of Zeitgeist, Brendan just was humming. Is that the beginning of Zeitgeist? Yeah. But that happens sometimes. Brendan does that because he doesn't play an instrument. Yeah. but that happens sometimes brendan does that because he doesn't play an instrument yeah but then writing wise all that stuff is rooted in me uh dan and then our other guitar is brian

three of us we sit there and it all starts from like guitar riffs yeah someone will have like a riff idea yeah we have an idea and just hash it out with the drums and we just kind of grow this fuck around and just like all right what do you think we should do next and like we'll kind of just like all just move on to the next part you know like while we're playing sometimes just like all right what do you think we should do next and like we'll kind of just like all just move on to the next part you know like while we're playing sometimes just like okay like i'll just change the the way the drums are going you know to like either a breakdown or like a verse or whatever and then start playing something i was like oh that was pretty cool and it's a lot of just like guesswork and who's writing the lyrics brendan okay because he's he's singing them yeah so we kind of like music first then lyrics yeah yeah oh like leave that. So it's music first, then lyrics. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So that's how it's going to go with the theme song when you guys do ours?

Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, that was good. That's how it goes. Put it back in their mind. Trying to paint a picture on our practice. Oh, my God. You guys are like, it's kind of close to our practice space.

I was going to say. Yeah. You are close to our practice space. Six blocks away. Yeah. It's wild. Look at that. Yeah.

Uh-oh. Seems like it's pretty easy. So you throw something together. You know? Maybe you start being scared of growls. There could be meows. Next Thursday, 830, we get a knock on the door. Hey, how's that theme song coming, boys?

Is he going to call? Is he like scatting? He's just tap dancing outside. We don't know who he is. We don't know who he is. He's still wearing the suit. More blood is coming from him. More blood. Just shrimp tails hanging out of his pockets.

Sticking like seafood and sweat. Yeah, you might need to shower here, boy. How are we doing on time? Let's wrap up. We have to wrap up, don't we? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Wow, this is fucking great. Yeah, this is what this was. Thank you, guys. Yo, seriously, thank you so much. Like, this is so sick to be here. Yeah, absolutely. We're fans of the show, so it's crazy to be here. Oh, that's awesome.

Like I said, I'm also a contractor not professionally but i was telling him before i did contractor work with my dad from when i was like nine years old same dude 30 hell yeah so like when i heard you talking about it like oh yeah i could build a house it's like i know how do you have stuff too i know it's so crazy like the fucking same life it's crazy hell yeah yeah it really is the crossover between the the our fans and your fans crazy. We live like the fucking same life. It's crazy. Hell yeah. Yeah. It really is. The crossover between the, the, our fans and your fans is so it's like the best thing ever. The 13 year old in me is freaking out.

And I was just like, Oh, I used to work there when it was cool. That's how I found out about like a lot of hardcore bands. Me and my friends got kicked out of Hot Topic in sixth grade because Mark Gordon farted. Hysterical. Anyway, anything you guys are involved.

You guys, well, Gordon farted. Sterical. Anyway, anything you guys are involved in. Check us out. Incendiary HC is our handle. Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. Dan started TikTok for us. Web Maven. IncendiaryHC.com. Our record comes out May 26th. Change the way you think about pain.

I think I will. Hmm. You should. Thank you. Don't mind if I do. Our record release is June 17th in Brooklyn. Yes. At Monarch.

So, yeah. Yeah. The Brooklyn Monarch. Come hang out. Is it Combust Four Hands? I love the Brooklyn Monarch. And his bed. I'm just high.

So. You won't be there, but I'll be there, right? I'm not going to be there. I foolishly bought tickets to Bain in Boston. Cancel it. We're going. Maybe I should. Yeah.

Maybe I should. Yeah. I should have gotten tickets for fucking Sunday, the 18th. Well, swap them out. Swap them out. You guys change your thing. Yeah. All right.

All right. You heard it here first. We're playing Tied Down Detroit. We're playing that Atlanta show. Oh, yeah. I'm going to that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Me and Chappelle Lacey. Oh, it's going to be fun, man. Come hang out. Yeah. And I also love those Hardlore dudes. Yeah. Their podcast is great, man.

Yeah. They're going to be there. That'll be really fun, man. Yeah. Those guys are the homies, too. I cannot thank you guys enough for coming here and hanging out with us. We have loved you guys for so long. You've both been the soundtrack to so many cool things in our lives.

Yeah, it's crazy. It's so cool to have you guys here and have you dig our stuff and we dig yours. And, you know, thank you. No, likewise. Thank you guys. So cool. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and be like, no fucking way. Stop it.

I know. For sure. Yeah, do to wake up tomorrow and be like, no fucking way. Stop it. I know. For sure. Yeah. Do check out their new album. They fucking rip. They're the best. It's crazy. You guys are going to be on my top Spotify,

whatever the fuck I'm sure of it. Yes. And I'll be too embarrassed to post it. I'll post it. I have nothing. No shame. Ianfinance.com for my live dates. Holy fuck. Chicago Zan dates. Uh, Holy fuck.

Chicago Zanies, Nashville Zanies, comedy on state. I'm coming all over your face. No, I'm not. April 12th, Philly helium,

Austin, moon tower, JFL live B&E and majority. It's going to be fun. We're going all over. We're doing some fun shit. What's JFL. It's a moon tower just for last festival.

It's both? It's a crossover? I had no idea. Where is it? We're not the only ones doing crossovers, bitch. Austin, Moon Tower. Oh, yeah. I'll be there. Yep. Okay. Oh, I thought you were going to queef

because you put the thing up to your pussy. That'd be incredible. For next time. because you put the thing up to your pussy. Can you imagine? That'd be incredible. That'd be incredible. For next time. For next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.