Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein' Ian With Jordan Episode 081: SNAFU W/ Justice Tripp & Zechariah Ghosttribe (Angel Du$t)

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding back so through the night It's a wild ride when you're being eaten Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride when you're being eaten Being eaten But it's a wild ride when you're being in, being in Life is shit but you're positive

Let's find out what it's like to live a life Being in, being in With Jordan one more. Oh, that was here. I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, we did it. Dog whistle. Welcome back to another episode of B and E and with Jordan. I couldn't be more excited to be here. Patreon.com slash B&E and pod. We got a lot of fun stuff. Extra episodes of just you and I every week. PunchUpLive.com slash Jordan Jensen for her dates.

EandFindance.com for my dates. We're going all over, but right now we're right here. That's true. Yeah. And we were with the cool, our favorite band. Our favorite band and people. And the coolest dudes around. I have to tell the pick story.

Oh yeah, and I have to. What do you have to do? So many things. Justice and Zach. You have to sit your white ass down and listen. For me. No, I did that for all of 2020, I'm done listening. Welcome to the podcast, guys.

Thank you for having us. Yes. Is there something you'd Thank you for having us. Yes. Is there something you'd like to do, Zach? Yes. We want to start it off on a good note. Yep. We had a sticker for expire, which I like the song pretty low, but it expired.

It is now expired. I just informed that they're bad guys. And we're going to support that. Tell you, but it's something. I don't know. I feel better with it. Apparently they've got a tray in the band. Oh, gotcha.

A tray from Green Day. He's a great drummer. He's a good drummer. Dude, did they play in the subway last night? They did, yeah, yeah. What? We like Jimmy Fallon. Wait, Green Day played he's a great drummer. He's a good drummer. Dude, did they play in the subway last night? They did, yeah, yeah. What? We like Jimmy Fallon. Shut the, wait, Green Day played in the subway?

Yeah. Where? It kind of freaked me out looking at the videos because I was like, this looks like it's gonna collapse because there are so many people. It was, it was. Yeah. Wouldn't it be funny if while they were on the subway

still like New York crazies were like eating a pigeon? They were, they were. Like, there's just rolling around in human shit. There's like definitely like some days where that would make me really, really mad. Like if I was on my way somewhere. Yeah, totally. Oh yeah, I get, I mean, well,

you deal with mariachi bands, but what if you started hearing like Brains Do and Jaded on the subway? Wouldn't you feel good? I would feel pretty good, but if I had to be somewhere, I'd probably be pretty upset about it set about it New York will do something to you where that's not even fun anymore you know yeah yeah it's just so chaotic that you're like green days playing yeah yeah a fucking course green

that'd be the craziest thing I've ever seen yeah Baltimore that would be Fallon I think yeah he was I think he like emceed it and like intro them and stuff. I don't like that. I don't like rich guy working at Rockefeller going below down to where the people go and being like, we're gonna clog up the pipes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If it was them doing it, that'd be cool. But Jimmy, yeah. There's like, yeah, there's no way that being in that, in the subway at that time, wouldn't be a huge pain in the ass. What time of the day was it? I'm not sure. I saw it like during the day.

I mean, I have no empathy for people to kill themselves on the train and backup traffic. I don't think I'd like it. You could chuck her on me. Queen's Day did it. There's like puppies, there's like puppy biting, which is a thing that's cute.

This is like violent aggressive dog. It's a puppy. Yeah. Just expressing. It kind of hurts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a wild dog. Yeah. It's like real cute until it's not.

I know. It's kind of like me in relationships. Put her on her back and hold her down. She doesn't. She doesn't like it. Oh, God. Yeah. Breaker. Does it grow?

Life. Does it grow? Does it grow or does it stay small? Eventually. Oh, look at her. Oh, what a cutie. I like biting you. I don't want to bite you.

Yeah. We all want to bite justice. Yeah, I don't really know how to train them. So I have a trainer coming on Sunday and I'm gonna be like, make her stop biting, but I also kinda like just the bites. You know what I mean? It's a cute bite.

And I'm gonna go on record and say that I like it. Here, bite this bitch. You have dogs? Yeah, I'm a dog guy. I've always had dogs. English Bull Terriers, that's my breed. What is that? I had a pit bull. I've always had dogs. English Bull Terriers. That's my, that's my. What is that?

I had pit bulls. Oh, that's a dude that looks like Spud Mackenzie. Right? Spud Mackenzie, yeah. What's Spud Mackenzie? Was he the Budweiser dude? Yeah, Budweiser dog. It's like a target dog.

From the OJ dog. You have the Target dog? Yeah. Whoa, those are- I've got a Target dog. The one with the Target symbol or under eye? Yeah. That's crazy.

Those dogs are so there's a video online of one of those dogs throwing itself down the stairs. It's one of my favorite. Yeah, that's what will tear your style. There's like they don't like understand anything. There's like they just live in their own. Do you know how to play the harmonica? No, hell no.

Really? Got that. I don't know if anybody really knows how to play. Yeah, I think that's the case. Everybody picks it up and they're like, I'm just going gonna do this bridge. There was a guy at my church who was like really good at. Really?

Yeah. That guy Rich who you don't like is good at harmonica. I got to put me on. The guy who, well. Yeah. It's like it's a world I don't even belong to. I don't need to like have like public beef. We won't say his name, we won't say his name,

but Zach and I have been having fun going around to the cellar and like different shows and I brought him over and you Have long hair. Yeah, it's a week ago. Yeah, which is wild that you shaved it. Why'd you shave it? For today. Hell yeah, it was like a pain in the ass. Yeah, just like Um, just like a few things like happened as just like, just like a few things like happen. That's just like, like, just got to call it like a zipper. No, like little things. So I do like a lot of like Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu and stuff. And like, you know, I like, I live a life and it's just like, I was goofing around with a guy and he like ripped my hair out.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude, fucking. Oh, she has a cigarette. It's really cute. Keep it in her. Yeah. That's very cute, dude, fucking. Oh, she has a cigarette. It's really cute, keep it in her mouth. That's very cute, Coyote, but no. Remember those posters that were like, it looks just as stupid when you do it. It was like a horse and a pig smoking.

I'm like, that's cool. I would have looked like a dog and a pig smoking. I want comedian beef. Oh, well, there's no beef, but this guy was staring at you and you were like, it doesn't matter if we say it. He doesn't know him.

He only knows this interaction. It's rich, he's great. He does amazing dancing videos. He's a good dude. He has meltdowns on stage sometimes. Well, I said comics are so used to just being like, I'll say a thing that's whatever. Cause it's in my brain.

My friends meet male comics, like my non-comic friends and they'll walk up and be like, what's up? I want to fuck you. And they're like, be a person. And they're like, oh, sorry, I forgot what that was. Who does that? Like, Column did that to one of my friends. I mean, that's a lot.

You did that to somebody? I jokingly was like, are you single? Mike Rowland went up to Taylor and said, are you into taller dudes? Because he's very short. This guy's probably like, he probably has a lot of people that like him. But I'm not really one of them.

Well, he goes, how did he ask if you were wearing a wig? You were just getting off stage. And it's like my first time at comedy cell. Or whatever. I'm just sitting there alone with a drink. And I look over and just see this guy looking at me and talking. So I'm just kind sitting there like alone like with a drink and I look over and just see this guy like looking at me and like talking Like what like what? Yeah, I'm just like what and then he comes over he's like yeah me and my friend. Oh, no

We're trying to figure out if you're wearing a wig or not. I think it's a wig. I was like it's it's not not crazy thing to do man. Yeah. Right. That's wild. And then you and then I you came and I was like, I was like, what is with that guy? I just came over and asked if I was wearing a wig. And you're like visibly like talking about me and you're like, Hey, did you ask him? Yeah, I go, are you stupid?

He's also a guy who the other day on stage just went into full black voice. Like just started singing. Oh, he's stupid. He's also a guy who the other day on stage just went into full black voice, like just started singing James Brown. And I got up on stage and I was like, that is so not fair that he's allowed to do that just cause he's Jewish. And red was looking at me just like, he's not allowed. Red is like the black keyboard player.

And he's like, no. And I was like, oh, okay, gotcha. We're all upset about it. If I liked him even a little bit more, I'd probably would say that it's fine, but it's like. Well, I had a snap to it with a friend. Our friend. He also looks like he's wearing a wig.

He also has a- He does wear wigs, he does wear wigs. He looks like he's wearing a wig and a face mask. Like a mask. Like a hollow wig. Is he wearing a wig, is that a bit? No, his hair looks like a wig. And sometimes he'll put on a wig with like

Headphones and a headband and yeah, he'll dance in home depot Maybe that's why he feels like he's in a place where he can talk about other people wearing a wig It's like when I was you know, I was I was a little heavier at one point. I felt more comfortable talking about their way You go Hey, dude, you're a fatty, me too. Did you talk about it after you lost weight? Cause that's the danger. I kind of recently realized I was like,

I can't do that anymore. I can't really. We call people big fat fatties. Oh, I've never done that, say, but I probably was like five. That's probably something I would have said when I was like five. I say big fat fatties a lot. She's mentally five. People always try and, they'll be like, I'll be like, it's his girlfriend hot. And people always go like this when they're fat. They lot. She's mentally five. People always try and they'll be like,

I'll be like, it's his girlfriend hot. And people always go like this when they're fat. They'll be like, yeah. And their octave goes up really high. And I'm like, oh, she's a big fat fatty. And they're always like, yeah. I like heavier gals. Yeah, big fat fatty straight ups.

Oh my God. But that's what people do when they're fat. I want to grab onto you like I'm getting electrocuted on a power line and I can't let go. Is that makes sense? Yeah, very strange analogy. I think that doing weight class sports, like fighting and stuff, kind of warped the way that I just see weight gain.

Because it's a really common thing to do with your teammates, be like, yo, you look fat. Really? Because it's like, make weights. It's like, yo, you look fat, you look's like, we have to like make weights. It's like, yo, you look fat, you look skinny. So I like have to like keep not let that seep. Especially now I'm a trainer, since like I have to work with like all kinds of people and like, you know, but it's like a thing where it's like,

if you are like, like I've been told that before, it's like I'm like, I eat a little too much. I got like, but you look fat. You look fat. You eat down the potato. It's just like a, dude, my doctor is my best friend, or my best friend is my doctor.

And he lives in Miami and I texted him and I was like, what do you think of these diet pills? Do you think I should take them? And he goes, I think you should stop shoving food in your mouth, you fat pig. All right, doctor's orders. You know, I had a snafu, not a wake thing, but we had a friend on.

What was a snafu? A second time you said that. That means situation like a full pile, but it stands for situation normal all fucked up. So it's like, it means like we've run into a snafu snappy and little snappy, little snappy taffy. Yeah, I had a little snappy. It's like a full paw or like like messing up in a social situation. We had a friend over, yes. I mean, like one of our mics don't work.

We run into a snafu. Right. Or we have a dwarf who's a friend of ours. And I ask if we can put them up on the counter. That's not a snafu. That's being retarded. No, a snafu is when something happens to make something go to make something a hitch in your step. Yeah. And our step was towards a fun time and I hitched it.

Yeah, you are a snafu. You can say that, but it wasn't us snafu, you saying that. Yeah. Thank you. That was just a cruel thing to say to a little bit. No, it wasn't cruel because we were taking a picture. How would he have gotten up on the counter? We would have lifted him.

That's insane to think anybody would be able to do that. But I thought that if we were taking a picture because of the height difference, we'd have to bend down. This is a very well known, great. He's great. Brad Williams, he's the best. He's a new special.

Check it out, see him on the road. We love you. And Ian's like, we have to take a picture with him. And he's like, would it be weird if I like, put you up on the counter for the picture? And he was like, he was like, yeah, for sure. But I thought, so we could all be level, so we're not like, look at this difference.

And then it'd be like wow same height I understand that your head was in the right place. Thank you. I was a real friend of mine That's the only one on my team. You just don't think before you ask things I think all the time before I talk to you Yes, that's true. You should do that. You should you know exhibit that with everybody Especially a little person, especially if somebody is a dwarf. I recognize it was wrong. And you also, the thing is funny.

I apologized walking and when I had to walk ahead of him and stop because of his little legs. I apologize. The thing that's funny is that you didn't go like this. You weren't like, hey, you would put you up on the counter. You were like, is this weird if we, you know, like you would already thought about it. I can't be seen pictured with this dramatic of a height. I was like, there's a lot of people

who might think less of me if I'm seen with someone who's that short. No, I didn't think of that. I thought it would be nice. You just had a snafu. He just had a snappy taffy. Water fell out of his mouth and it wasn't supposed to happen.

Look at that. Is it hard for you to drink because you're gold teeth? No. Are they gold or metal? They're gold. Did you get him knocked out and replaced with gold teeth? Seven times. No.

That's like my interesting lure. Yeah. Lured up. It broke a lot and then, you know, like gold is more malleable and it won't snap like where someone will. Yeah. Um, but not in a way that's noticeable. I've been hit a couple of times in the teeth since and...

How are you getting hit? It's true. Um, mainly in a mosh pit situation. Yeah. Crowd participation, uh, gotten, got jumped. I fell off a bike the first time I fell off a bike when I was a kid. But took a little while to find a dentist that was willing to put gold. Really?

Gold in your mouth. Yeah, a lot of dentists are like, I won't do that. And I was like, dude, the last dentist I talked to, I was like, this is the seventh time I've done this, please. Like, just give me what works. And that's kind of the goal now. Even rubber teeth would be better. Anything. You're a fucking Bond villain.

That's crazy. With those gold chompers. You're going to keep going and going until they're all gold. That's the game plan now. So, was it super expensive? No, I think it's like really close to the same price. It's been like $100. And why don't they want to do it?

Because they just haven't. I think like dentists have a whole thing with the ideas to like, help reserve your natural state. my natural states long gone. It's like seven is the number. That's a crazy number. That's why I'll just say when it happened more and more, where you're like, oh, there it is again. The one time it was we played a show in Florida in Sampa and somebody spin kick

the microphone and not to my team. We were just in Tampa. Oh yeah. And then I got them fixed. We had a week off, got them fixed. And then we played the next show in Buffalo and that day somebody spin-kicked the microphone the exact same way and in my teeth and took the teeth out. Jesus.

That's crazy. Why are they spin-kicking on stage? I don't know man. Something about what we do just incites spin kicks on stage. They get up and then they just start to spin. It can feel pretty good to spin kicks on stage. Yeah, it does. It feels nice.

I was singing Blink Winnie to the other night at the Goddamn Comedy Jam and I spin kicked. Remember? Yeah, I get it here. But just getting up on stage and spin kicking the lead singer is crazy. I think as time goes on, young people, and I don't even mean this in a bad way, they're more entitled to that space where they're like, I'm gonna get on stage and it's like just getting crazy.

Dude, Detroit, we were playing, we played with Trotter and Rice played. Oh, it tied down. It tied down, yeah, yeah. And we're playing it. What song was it? Was it Reality on Folds or was it? The Dude Took a Mic? Yeah. Oh no, it was Pleased to Meet You. Pleased to meet you, yeah.

That was the best. He grabbed the mic and started just like, the joy hardcore motherfucker. Like, but kept gong and you're just like, yeah, that's it. There's a part where you gotta sing, dude. He just didn't know. And then I was like, yo, what's good? You good?

He was like, I'm drunk. That's awesome. You handled it like a pro. You were like, my man had a little too much to drink, but that's all right. Let's go. And the band was just playing in the background. Me and Brad were dating.

Look at Brad. Like, what the fuck is this kid doing? It's dangerous giving the mic to somebody. You know, I've gotten kind of scalded for that, particularly in the T UI camp where I put faith in somebody. I'm like, here, do this. And tell the, tell the one with no names. The street lights. Yeah. So, um, we have a song, street lights,

we have a song we audio unfolds. They both have a mosh part where I'm just saying bad ass shit over the mosh part. Yeah. And we were playing in New York and gave the mic to a friend who toured with us and I thought it was safe. He just sang this song over that song. Oh. It's like telling the wrong punch line for a setup. And it's like music drops out like just like vocals. And the whole room was like you know and then obviously

it's my fault I didn't vet the situation so I had a little bit of a I had a little snafu I guess. There you go. A little snafu. I sang the Freddie Manball part during Guilty by Association and there's a video of it and you can see Toby almost praying. Like right before he's like, huh? And then I join and he goes, huh? Oh yeah. You don't know. It's scary because you have it in your mind like, oh, I'm so excited. And then you're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and you mess it up. You look like a fool. Yeah.

And it makes you feel like a fool too. Comedy shows are getting more bold too. I've heard it all in the Will Smiths lap. Wait, how did he, what did he have to do with it? Was he just marched up in the middle of the whatever that was Oscars and just slap somebody and now I think people think that they can just march up at any point. You know what there has been an increase of people marching up on stage since. A lot of marching. Yeah. I feel like people used to get beat up during sets like more back in the.

Yeah. Especially in hard rock. I feel like that was like a Philly thing, right? Is Vans getting beaten up on a couple? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A crowd would get on stage and just just there might be like some guy up there who deserved to really probably deserve this. Do you remember? So this, you know, Earth, Earth Crisis, they were like a vegan

straight edge van like super Militant and Shaw McCabe from Incant Dagger through yogurt at them And there's video of it of like everyone just like attacking him. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Because he's a vegan. No, no the vegans attacked the guy that threw yogurt on them vegan? No, no, no. The vegans attacked the guy that threw yogurt on them. Vegans used to not play. It was different. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. I was smoking a cigarette. There's still vegans in my place. I was smoking a cigarette at a show. I was 14.

And I think the TLA and Philly and a guy came up grabbing around my mouth to go smoking silence is the revolution. I was like, I don't know what the f*** you said, but I'm very scared. His name was Joe Harcourt. I was like, I don't know what the fuck you said, but I'm very scared. His name was Joe Hardcore. 90% chance. There was a guy from Delaware named Steve Paris. Cool name. Yeah, it was part of the Hellaware crew.

Hellaware? That's rough. Hellaware, yeah. Welcome to Hellaware, bitch. It sounded like cool guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Did you guys recover after the, how many cities did you guys just do?

A million. This is crazy. Three and a half months straight, with the exception, like we had like four days off for travel here and like two days off here and. I don't know how you guys do it. Still every fucking night. Yeah. Ian joined us for the last like week.

Yeah. Which I think that's like, you know, there's like monotony and touring where you see the same faces every day and you start to like wonder what's real. You have like existential moments where you're like, am I even, am I really here right now that's happening? And my body was falling apart. I had a quick the gist of that. I got like, um, first I got, I've celiac and I got poison. So I was sick and then he broke my foot and after I broke my foot, I got this terrible fever, diarrhea, nausea. Oh my God. Um, and then I got Mark's all over me that I want to doctor and they diagnosed me with scabies. Oh my gosh. Look at your face. Look at your face.

You didn't think I was going to say it. I didn't think you were going to say it. You didn't have to say it. They said I had scabies. I've had scabies before in the past, like 10 years ago. What the fuck? So if you've never had scabies, tell us. It's really awful.

It's little bugs under your skin. It's a skin-syphrenic nightmare. Two. What? I think I was misdiagnosed. I don't think I had scabies because they gave me, I remectin. That's what kills scabies. It's also really hepatoxic and strong and cured COVID by the way. Yeah, sorry.

That's a whole nother, that's a conversation. That's not happening. I'll go anywhere, but my mom told me my mom's a liberal lesbian and she was like, because I'm always sex, she was like, maybe take that, I have a Mexican star. I mean, that's what like other countries are using it. That's like, I don't think it's that political. I think it's political here where it's like, in America, we just like assign something a political identity and we're like,

what's our green? Trump said it? What's our green? Yeah, Trump said it, so everyone's like, it's bad. If Trump likes green, then I'm like a bad person, because green's my favorite color. You know, it's like, that's how things kind of work in America. But the doctor was like, take this ivermectin and call me in the morning.

Yeah, they gave me the ivermectin. Did it work? So that was the thing, it didn't do anything. For the next week to two weeks, I just started to develop blisters all over like my torso and like my like... You showed me and I was like, are those bullet wounds? I saw scars, everybody thought it was bullet wounds. That's like literally, I'm the second person

who has to buy bullet holes. So I was like, were you shot? You have scars now? Yeah. Take your shirt off. You have to take off a lot to see what some of the scarring is. But I was reading about scabies scars and never like, well, the only reason you have scars

if you're really digging, and I wasn't itching at all, I wasn't digging. And then I read that the most common misdiagnosis is, or scabies is, what is it, shingles. And I start reading my, I had shingles, like 100% had shingles. You start with the violent fever diarrhea nausea and Then you get blisters all over your body for two weeks the last two weeks

I've remeft and did nothing to help because it wasn't scabies It was something else and then the biggest thing is you only get shingles on half your body And I had the right side of my body is covered in fucking Blisters and other people get shingles from your shingles? No, no, I don't think so. Yes, yes. Can other people get scabies from your scabies? Yes.

Positively. Yeah, we had to like, we like pulled the fucking, like we're on the bandwagon. It's like a, like a bus basically. And like we had to like pull everything apart, like doing like laundry, like clean everything around such close quarters. But it just felt so like futile, like while I was doing it, because I was like, I'm just gonna fucking get in anyway. But one thing about like Justice said, like I learned is that like, I feel like when you're,

when you think that something bad might happen or you might be getting sick, you look freak the fuck out. Like if you eat, it's like the wrong thing, you're just like, you don't fucking understand. I'm going to die tomorrow. We can't play any of these fucking shows. But then like fast forward to Salt Lake City, Utah. Insane food poisoning, like diarrhea in the pants. Scabies.

Scabies and a broken foot. He's like, yeah, it's going to be a tough show tonight. We had to like call it. We were like, we can't do the show. Anthony was like, he had my bunk was like, dude, it's so hot in here, what's going on? And I was like, I'm really sick. And he's like, show's done. And I was like, I'm coming out.

Like I'm gonna play. I'm like, let me get out the way. I'm gonna come out of my bunk. And I rolled out and landed on my face and belly. And I was like, get me up. Get me up and play in the shoulder deck. After I broke my foot, they were like, yo, you have to gotta go home in August. I was like, no, I'm playing the shoulder deck. After I broke my foot, they were like, yo, you have to got to go home in August.

I was like, no, I'm going to eat a bunch of mushrooms. And then I was going mushrooms and I was like, I'm jumping off of shit. It was in Denver. And we were just jumping off of shit with a broke foot. Scabies or something. That show was awesome. If you're about to get sick, you freak out.

But once you're already in the shit, you just. Because I've celiac, I'm just like really, I know that I'm really sensitive to, it's like an autoimmune disease. So it's like, if I eat something wrong, which in the case, you just- Because I have celiac, I'm just like really, I know that I'm really sensitive to, it's like autoimmune disease. So it's like, if I eat something wrong, which in the case of we were touring in Japan where- It's everything. They have less white people that deal with shit like that.

Cause I think, if I'm not mistaken, I think that celiac is like a very white thing. Yeah. It seems to be. Yeah. But I feel like biologically it's very white, a white thing. And like people just didn't really know what I was talking about. You know, I'd be like, hey, I can't eat-

Like there's soy sauce and gluten in it. Yeah, there's soy sauce and gluten, all soy sauce, unless it's gluten-free, specific. But that alone isn't everything. If you get eggs in Japan, like for breakfast, they got soy sauce in them. You drink some tea, it's got some soy sauce in there. It's like, it's literally in everything. So you some tea, it's got some soy sauce in there. It's like, oh wow. It's literally in everything.

So you got it and you shit your brains out? Well then I got weak, I lost 22 pounds. So while I got the broken foot and the unidentifiable blisters are my body. And I was like diarrhea shitting everywhere. We got a hotel and I like, so we're like, yo, you just need to be in one spot. I get the hotel and I pooped my pants, I took the pants off and I'm laying naked in the bed

and I pulled the blanket up and I woke up and I'm right. I looked down and I was like, oh, there's no poop. Like it's a good thing I didn't poop myself. It's gonna be a good day. Blanket back and there's just diarrhea like four feet away from my body. Like I like blasted diarrhea off the bed under the blanket. You're getting further away from me, messy dogs.

The next, the next. This is what we're here for, you know? This is a good stuff. That's awesome. The day after we had to cancel, like make an executive decision to cancel that show, which was like, it hurt all of us because it was an awesome show.

It was like Fleshwater, Jive Bomb, Harmsway. Like it was an awesome show. And then the next day, like, Justice feels like a tiny bit better We're like Boise or something and like still looks pretty bad, but we're on stage Like I went to the set like playing and like I just smell something like And then the block the block adds like just a chair's rat is like We're cutting like the next block

I'm just committed Shit Shit, you just like getting close to Zach and me like listen we really have to go Out of your pant leg like Andy Dufresne I'm not gonna tell you what happened, but we gotta go take like I know what There's signs Steve even hit me with a look like Steve has a face that you always know exactly what he's thinking. I'm like, don't be cool guys. Steve's like, Steve's face is like. Thank you.

See you. This is so funny. That's from Celia. Well that was from the shingles apparently. We thought I had food poisoning because we ate Subway at 4 a.m. and maybe I have food poisoning too. I don't know everything was It was not as hardcore, but it is like you just are like it could be a million things

Oh, yeah, this is no I see a way that he the subway that he ate though It was like a love station and like Can you tell him your subway? a love station and like, can you tell him your subway? So, um, it was shit. I ordered a human shit. Yeah, it was crazy. First, the guy who served to me had a broken foot as well. And he was drunk.

And he like the subway station was closed down. He's like, what's up, bud? You want a sandwich? I was like, absolutely. Let's go. And he like, we like, you know, we came over there. I had crutches at the time. We like, went over to the spot and he's like telling me like, he's like, your, let's go. And he like, we like, you know, we can't over there. I had crushes at the time. We like, went over to the spot and he's like telling me,

he's like, your old lady pushed you down. That's what happened to me. Oh my God. And I was like, oh, you're, what happened? He's like, my old lady pushed me down the steps and he kept making the joke. And I didn't think it was funny. And then at some point he's like, all right, I'm a drunk.

I just, I failed. I just failed. I was like, oh, I didn't know you were joking. I don't know, maybe, you know. But then he like pulled out the bleakest, like everything was so bleak, like the lettuce was like, lettuce like can transmit bacteria. It's like, it can carry bacteria.

People are gonna like eat whole life from romaine lettuce at Chipotle. Probably eat raw chicken and fucking bad lettuce, man. Look at the little boy, look at the little dog. The dog is just running around Mayhammer. Look at the little boy. The dog is just just running around mayhem. You can put her upstairs. No, I like it. It's a good it's keeping me grounded.

Yeah. Yeah. No, the dog will get the cat upstairs. No, she can go in the great. That's why we have a great year. All right. Anyway, you shit your pants and loves and boysy. Yeah.

Why should I didn't shit my pants and the loves. That was. So you were at the food and it was just. I can't keep track of where I pooped my pants. It just happened. I was really sick. That's the thing is, I was the sickest I've ever been in my life. And the team knows that it's like, I had a broken foot.

I was down 22 pounds. When's the last time you were down 22 pounds? Yeah, that's crazy. And then like people, we cancel the show. It's like, I didn't even agree to cancel the show. And people were like, mad. They're like, there was some dude took a photo with Tommy because we got to the show and he takes photos.

Tommy's like, Tommy's the greatest rock and roll forever. And then he like posted this long thing about how I'm a bitch. You're covered in human shit. He's like, oh, you got a little tummy ache. And you can't, it's like, dude, you can't just go up there and just play a couple of songs. It's like, dude, you've never suffered like this. Like, and I think me more than anybody, it's like,

the whole world to see me have my fucking teeth been kicked out multiple times on stage. And then I'm just back doing it the next day. It's like, I just give it everything. And like, the fact that somebody would doubt me. Yeah. That's why you got to eat mushrooms and jump off stage because people are fucking losers and they doubt you if you're not just fucking giving it everything.

See, there's people that one guy though is like really laying into us on the Instagram comments. Really? It's like, you don't think I, oh, I hate this show with all my friends and bands that I'm like, oh, plain bass, like, oh, I hate money. Like, yeah. No. Why did Code Orange cancel there for some, for sick?

I don't know. You know, some, you know, anything? I think it's like, they're like, I think one of their members is like, like, pretty ill. Yeah. Oh, no. But it was a big tour. Yeah. I think so. I was supposed to be on that. Yeah. I think it's old but I was supposed to be on that.

Yeah, I think it's like a serious health thing. I don't know anybody in that band, but I read a little bit of like... It's not like a tumbly ache. They don't call it like having a little justice in them. Yeah. Cause they're real like... Dude, you were in the hospital

and then you went and played a T.U.I show at Brooklyn Monarch. Yeah, out of mental breakdown. Really? Yeah. Why were you. Yeah, I had a mental breakdown. Really? Yeah. Why were you, what kind? They thought I had a stroke. You know, you're a, Has mental breakdowns?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was symptoms of a stroke. So they thought I had a stroke. Jesus. They're treating me as a stroke patient. But I guess I was like with the team,

I was with the homies and I started just talking crazy, gibberish. And then I was like my fucking brain hurts. And apparently I was driving and apparently I was like with the team, I was with the homies and I started just talking crazy gibberish. And then I was like my fucking brain hurts and apparently I was driving and apparently I just like just went out into the other lane and like was like almost killing everybody in my big old truck, you know, yeah, just why I probably shouldn't have a big old truck. I just started a bicycle. Safer with a helmet. Cautiously. You should be in a side car of a motorcycle.

Yeah. So mental breakdown is a stroke. I mean, that's like a seizure. It sounds like when you start speaking gibberish. Yeah, I don't know. Did you smell toast? No, I didn't. That's a thing that I've heard.

Nobody asked me about that. And I wish I would have remembered that. That cue. I always smell toast down. I'm like, I'm having a stroke. People are like, I'm making toast. Calm down. Here, stop. Don't give her the cigarette. Don't come on in. It's cute. It's you. I always smell toast down. I'm like, I'm having a stroke. People are like, I'm making toast. Calm down. Here, stop.

Don't give her the cigarette. Don't come on in. It's so cute. It's cute. It's just one cigarette. No, you can give her a bone. Which we call it. So you got you were in the hospital.

Yeah. And then did you like rip your IVs out? You're like, no, I was a chill patient. I was relaxed. Yeah. And the doctor was cool. There's like another some like rockers at the hospital. They just tell me about and I was like, yes, I was like, thank you. But I'm supposed to stage in like 30 minutes and he was like, oh, you're X-rays and CAT scans and all that shit. Your blood work.

It all looks good. He's like, you're in pretty good shape, man. Like, he's like, are you stressed out? And I was like, yeah, he's like, I think you had a mental breakdown. And that would explain like talking crazy. And my head was like pounding. Well, were you talking crazy? Like the billboards are talking to me and I want to pay everything.

I wasn't saying words, it's just gibberish. So you were trying to talk and in your head, you didn't know you were speaking gibberish. I had no recollection of anything. I was just driving with the team and I looked over and I was looking at me like I was crazy. Like imagine that you're hanging out with your friends and all of a sudden everybody's like, yeah, that's my worst nightmare.

I was like, what the fuck is wrong with y'all? And they're like, the fuck is wrong with you, man? Like you need to pull over right now. And I was like, I just thought they were crazy. And they started explaining. And I thought I was being trolled. I was like, man, you guys are put this little idea together before we got in the vehicle.

But then my head hurt real bad. So then I started being like, maybe there's something what they're saying. I've never felt this feel like a knife in the head. Jesus. Were you there? No, I wasn't. What did you sound like? Like I don't know. Yeah, just gibberish. They said I was just saying noises and shit. Like grunting. It was a it was just driving me like, we were filming for hard lore. Shout out, fellow podcast. Oh, yes. Shout out, Colin and Boe, Hard Lore, big fans. Yeah. He's got to air that episode with you guys.

That moment. Was it a long point? I don't want camera with this. I think we were filming when that happened and it hasn't been, if we were filming and it hasn't been aired, shout out to Colin, respect for not putting me on blast, but also, maybe that's something we should air. That'd be fun.

I'd like to see it if that's... I don't even remember, but my brain was so... I was in such a crazy place. Like a lot of that weekend was a blur, literally. And I felt like everything was falling apart and like I felt really like a lot of weight on me. And then we like pulled up. You were getting fucked up.

What do you mean? Like you were getting fucked up. What do you mean? Like you were drinking? No, no, I don't really drink very much. What? You had a stroke or something. Smoke, a smoke pot. And even the doctor was like, he was like, do you smoke cannabis? And I was like, yeah, he's like, have you because he was like,

you see, he's under a lot of pressure. He's like, have you been smoking recently? And I was like, actually, no, I've been too busy to smoke. And he was like, you should probably get back when you're regiment of smoking regularly. Oh, shit. Yeah. That's crazy. But I've, you know, I've have, I'm like human. It's interesting because you see like, and I don't, I don't want to like, take away or minimize anybody's suffering. But you see bands that are like, especially new bands that have been doing this shit for like a year or something. And somebody's having a thing and they're like, yo, mental awareness is important.

And it's like, it is, it is important. We talk about these things. But it's like, I've just been touring since I was a child. I started touring as a child. And I've like had mental breakdowns and like I've had broken feet and broken teeth and it's like, I'm still going to do this shit. It's like, this is crazy. The show must go on. Yeah, I keep tracking. The show don't make me shit. It's like, this is making me crazy. The show must go on. That kid tracking. The show don't make me crazy.

It's the world. It's like, if I go home and there's no show, that's what makes me crazy. Dude, that's when I'll snap. That's when you think there's something really wrong with you. You have to like, I have a feature specifically who knows when I have a panic attack to underplay it. Cause I have panic attack.

I just randomly, I was like in this horrible relationship where he would spontaneously break up with me and I would get these weird panic attacks out of nowhere. Not even related to the breakup. I just, I was like in this horrible relationship where he would spontaneously break up with me and I would get these weird panic attacks out of nowhere. Not even related to the breakup, I just, it was like weird. And I have my feature nose to be like, you're gay. You're being stupid and dumb and gay because it makes me pull it together and get on stage. But if people are like, oh my God, are you okay?

Just big deep breaths. Then I'm like, I spin out and they get way worse. When you broke your foot in Chicago, like I've seen people get hurt a lot, like just in like in my life and like, like, you know, like more high-digit, like whatever. And it's like, dude, like his foot was fucking broken, but it's like in the green room, everyone was like,

yo, what the fuck? That must hurt so bad. How do you feel? How do you feel? That's crazy. It's like the bone was sticking out. You can see the bone visually. No! He's like, yeah, hurt so bad. How do you feel? How do you feel? That's crazy. It's like the bone was sticking out. You can see the bone visually. No!

He's like, if that happened to me, I would have known. But I was just, I was just like trying to come in there and just be like, shut up. You're like, yeah man, if I was your coach, like I'd let you step into a cage tomorrow, bro. Just ice it, I'd be propin, like you're fine. You could fight on that thing. Like I'm like two days.

That helps. Doesn't it help? Like when a kid gets hurt, they don't start crying until everyone's like, no, no, no, no, no. But if you're like, you're good, yeah, you're great. Dude, right? And the kid's like. Did a test of that online where they brought babies around

and then they would hit the wall next to them and they'd be like, oh my God, are you okay? And you could see the baby be like, eh, you know, and freak out. Just because they're like, I guess I'm in a lot of pain right now. Dude, there's a, I hate to bring this book up because it's, I only read like the first 30 pages of it, but Infinite Jest.

It's a lot of pages to read. Oh, come on. What's that about? Infinite Jest. He goes, he's like in front of this board. I think about it all the time. It's my worst nightmare where he's like a 900 page book. I, yeah, it's, it's crazy.

I suggested a book to you and you go, hey man, I'm going to be honest. I don't read. It's kind of my brand. We've already taught you like three new words today. Yeah, I should probably read. We taught you gesticulate snafu. Yeah. He's a dude, why is he gonna read about someone doing

something when he could just go out and just do something? Like a smart, here's the thing. Somebody, you'll be punching somebody. Stop punching me, what's that mean? What does punching mean? Oh, I'm sorry. No, I didn't know. You should read James on the Giant Peach. Fuck you, I'll be punching somebody. Stop punching me. What's that mean? What does punching mean? Oh, I'm sorry. No, I didn't know. You should read James on the giant peach.

Fuck you, I'll find a peach. I'll get my own giant peach, dude. I'll get my own giant peach. I actually read it. I had a moment where I was reading a lot, but I just like, I'd rather go, like I spend so much time reading. It's like, it doesn't matter if it's fucking 2 a.m.

I can go out and do something. I can experience it. No, me wrong, I think reading is cool. It's like kind of a joke that I've been dragging out because years ago a girl was reading a book in a mosh pit while we were playing. No way. What? And then she was complaining about, like she was trying to read.

No. It's like, take your dumb ass somewhere else. Like this, you're in a mosh pit. That's a crazy sentence. Like you're gonna get moshed on. That's wild. I spoke about an interview and people were so fucking stupid that it's like, everybody's like, he doesn't believe in reading books.

We can't read books. It's like everybody's like he doesn't believe in reading books It's like Attention grab move exactly way of saying like I'm more important than this moment. That's insane. Yeah Actually wasn't us playing it was somebody else playing. I don't remember, but it was at Rainfest in Seattle. Oh, I got, I got chewed up for that for real. Not liking somebody reading in the mosh pit. That's crazy. What if somebody was reading at one of our shows? I lose my mind when someone's on their phone.

You would kill them, dude. Yeah. It happened to me once a guy was on his laptop and I was performing and I flipped out at him and then he talked to me and he was like, well, I'm doing work. And I was like, fuck, you're like fully retarded autistic. You're like, oh, you're deep in the spectrum. You know what I mean?

You are a low functioning autistic. And he was like, I have to play minesweeper for six hours or else my dog will die. And he took a little time off from minesweeper to play minesweepep in a different place. To order the two drink minimum. But you should read the first 20 pages of Intip because that happens where he's like in front of a panel of people and they're deciding whether or not he gets into this

like elite academy and he like gives them this whole speech being like, I really think I should get into this. Like I'm really good at tennis. I'm a D1. And then all of the panels are like, what is coming? And they all start freaking out. And apparently he had just been spewing gibberish and had just been making noises and insanity. It's really crazy.

Heavy, very heavy aridation or what is it? Like it's a it's like a weather newscaster and she's she's and she's she's like, there's a heavy, very heavy, very day. She's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A combination of letters. Did she get stuck in it? Yeah. And she says like, there's a heavy, very heavy validation. Or that is a right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Combination of letters. Did you get stuck in it?

Yeah. I think that's kind of like the vibe I had too. That happened to me when I had too much of an edible. I passed out of the creek in the cave and I hit my head on a mop and a bucket and cut my head open. And then I didn't talk for a half hour. And the first thing I said was,

Leonard Skinner was on the radio. The first thing I said was, uh, Leonard Skinner was on the radio on it. The first thing I said was a rumor of people crowd around me being like, are you all right? I go, this song fucking rips. And then I would only talk to people that had dead dads. Wow. Yeah. So I wrote home. That to me is the girl reading the book in the mosh pit.

That's an attention grab. Only talk to me if you're dead. Also dead. Fuck you. I don't people write about you. in the mosh pit. That's an attention grab. Only talk to me if you're dead. Also dead. Fuck you. I don't people write about you. The creek has seen so many of those. I know so many people who have, I think Jack took acid there one time and he still remembers the gibberish, but it was like everybody was coming up to him being like, give a God, give a gork. And they like kept saying the same thing over and over. We had like a venue in New York City, it was in Long Island City.

It was next to a Mexican like California burrito place. And there was a downstairs where like open mics were a bar and then upstairs was like a black box type theater. And that for years was like the place where you would go and like just do crazy shows and same things. But that was like a meeting place where everyone met up and did drugs and like sex, all this crazy stuff. Did you guys have like a central, like a Gilman nine to four or something like that? Like the one central located place

for everyone to like meet up and get fucked up and like before like a clubhouse. Well, we had Charm City Art Space, which was the music venue. And then next to it was, I don't know if this is the politically correct term, but a gay bar. Yeah, it's a gay bar. Sorry, I'm like being overly sensitive.

There's a gay bar next door. What would you say? Homosexual. Yeah. Yeah. Homosexual barring home. Yeah. I'll go there. Yeah. No, it's great. Homosexual barring home. I'll go there.

No, it's great. There was really, we all would kick it when we were too young to be kicking it there, but everybody was like, we were around responsible, nice people who looked out for us. But yeah, you could kick it and go to the rock show and then you go next door to the gay bar and fools would get lit and dusty, dusty. My mom would go to a gay bar and I realized I was in the DR recently and there was salsa playing and I was like, Oh, I know how to salsa. Why do I know this? And then I remembered that as a young kid, my mom would take me to the gay

bar and go fraternize with all the lesbians. And there was like a salsa instructor who was just drunk teaching me. And I was like, why do I know how to do this? And she was like, Oh, Mario. And I was like, who is that? And then I remembered and I was like, why do I know how to do this? And she was like, oh, Mario. And I was like, who is that? And then I remembered and I was like, it was like this whole brain tunnel where I was like, why were you doing this?

Where's my babysitter? My sister would take me to the strip club when I was like eight. And like I was like, was there kind of a lot at a young age and so when you become the age where you go to the strip club, I like knew how it worked. I knew the rules, you know, it'd be like, oh, you got it. You were walking in with the glasses that you wear now.

Yeah. You had the gold teeth. Yeah. And you're like, this is where they dance. This is where the children play with the toys in the corner. And then later in life, you look back and you're like, oh, that's kind of a weird thing. Why was I?

She is stripper? Yeah. She's a psycho. Awesome. She's awesome, but she's psychopath. The, your family's names are Justice. Yeah. London spelled L-O-N-D-I-N.

D-I-N. Yeah. Because they misspelled it. What were you after? I said, what were your names? Everything goes just drugs. Just hard drugs. Just drugs.

Let me preface by saying my mother's incredible and I had, I feel like I say things about my childhood and people think that I'm like, my childhood sucked and I had like terrible, and it's not that. It's like, I didn't have like a school year. This is the place for that. We always talk insane shit about our parents. And then we're like, but they're my God.

Well, you know what's, and I give them money if I could. Yeah. I think it's probably exactly that. Like some moms like, I give her a lot of credit for not having a lot. And she was like able to like, I didn't know. I didn't know as poor, you know, like, like we like

live in section eight housing and stuff like that. And I had like nice stuff. She'd go through a store and get everything cleaned up and like she cut hair every week we get her haircut. And she was like good at that. And I thought I was rich. And like the first time I brought kids from school home, they were like, Oh, you live in the projects.

You're poor. And I was like, bitch, you're crazy. I have. Look at my haircut. I have a haircut. My feel is I'm going to have gold teeth one day. I'll show you. Yeah.

Didn't you grow up in the church? Yeah, it's it. That's how I started playing music and stuff. Yeah. Were you in a church? It was like cool music type church. I mean, it's, it's, you know, it's like, it wasn't cool. It was, I mean, it was like pretty fun.

And then it's like Pentecost, like speaking in tongues and stuff. Whoa. The music. All church music is cool. Yeah. Like the music element of it was awesome. And like, I wouldn't have been able to like play drums or like, you know, like learn like a little bit of bass if it wasn't for it.

But it wasn't like it, but it wasn't like it was cool. I was like mostly just like afraid of like not getting raptured and like, like, you know, like my friend, my friend's going to, oh, yeah. When justice is speaking, you were like, yeah, brother, pray now. Yeah. That's the same. It doesn't look like a little like, exactly. Like there's like moments where you're like a kid, like I take

a nap and like maybe my mom went to the convenience store and I wake up and it's like, damn, I'm left behind. I've been raptured. I haven't been raptured. My whole family's been raptured and like the antichrist, I'm gonna have to let him kill me. So, I'm gonna have to let the antichrist kill me. Wouldn't that be funny if that's how home alone went?

Like I was like, I was like, Zach, do not take the Mark of the Beast. Do not accept the Mark of the Beast. Cause like I'd watch all of this like left behind movies. Left behind, I remember that. What is that for the name of that? Oh my God. It's, well the first one is like, it's like the leftovers, but back then.

It's like Kirk, I think Kirk Cameron's in the first, in the first one. And there's, what's another one on mega code. It's all these rapture movies that take place in a post rapture society of like anti Christ, like rising to power, Christians being rounded up and murdered. And then people being forced to accept the mark of the beast to experience like life whatever and then it all what is the mark of the beast, the vaccine. Yeah. You know, I did. the beast, the vaccine. Yeah. You know, I did.

I, I, you're not the first person to say that. You're not, you're not the first. That's hilarious. The Mark of the Beast is big fake titties. That's what I think. I think all the plastic surgery. Well, then I'm in love with the devil. I know you are.

I know. 6669 me, baby. Did you hear about the. My joke that I just made that was funny. I'm trying to overlook it? Did you hear about the um? The that they're finding that the Christians just used to trip balls. Oh Yeah, dude, that's this guy studied it for years just came out with this book about how they found about how witches

That's why they call them witches because witches would make this huge cauldron with the perfect amount of mushrooms in it. And then they'd give it out to these dudes who would experience death. So they were, I forget what it's called, but it's like if you're not, no, you're not afraid of death if you experience death. There's some like Latin term for it, but. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Mickey Moto. No, Motus, Motudis, Memento Mori.

Yeah, Memento Mori. I fucking got there and I'm so happy to have it. I didn't think you were, I didn't think you had it. I was like, I was like, just end the video. We all were doing that, I know. We all got the weight. I was like, get a do. Fuck you.

I was like, okay, you had your shot. My brain almost raptured. Memento Mori, I think is when they would keep a skull around her mind them of death. It was like a remember death, the death happen. You know who St. Dipna is? No. She's a pain. What?

What did you just say? St. Dipna. St. Dipna.? Saint Dimfna. She's Dimfna. Well, we need to play with Jake back. Do you guys know who Saint Dimfna is? You know Saint Quieff? Saint Dimfna?

Saint Dimfna. She's a patron saint of mental illness. Her mother died and her father went crazy and he tried to marry her. Shut up, Ethan. And she refused, so he chopped her head off and the spot where the blood fell on the ground is now like a mecca for people with mental illness and they go there and pray to her

and they swear their mental illness gets taken away. So patreon.com.com. Slash B and E and P, I get Jordan a flight to see St. Dymphna. What do you think of that, dick? I don't know if there's a patron saint of mental illness. There is, look it up, I'm not a liar. I believe it. He came through with the momentum mori thing.

He's got some shit. I love like at night, like nightly ritual is like getting like really high and watching like um like Orthodox or Catholic or just like Christian reels. What? Yeah, like what? I mean you, I'm showing you a bunch of, it's like there's some of them where it'll have like this like AI God holding a sword, it'll be like, be calm my child and like go through like these whole things or it'll be like um the chance. I got it. I had to show you like I had to show it. I can't explain it.

Okay, but it's like dark like it's like edgy, serious, but I get I just like watch a bunch of those or just like like all these like orthodox like chance And stuff for some reason it's like I find it really calm calming like at at night How I feel about watching um Videos of like how how things are made? Yeah, yeah, it's relaxing Your thing was more interesting than mine. Yeah.

It's just like tough, like a tough ass like orthodox priest or something like telling me why I'm going to hell and stuff. Is it they're chanting as in ranting? They're not like young people. No, they're the chants. You haven't heard any of those like or you haven't heard. Orian? Wait, you haven't heard like the religious chanting? girl like like you haven't heard orion have you wait you haven't heard like uh like the religious chanting like

i've heard religion it's like that what orthodox isn't orthodox jewish dude i think i know like i like orthodox i think i fell in love with a girl over the weekend because we looked in each other's eyes and sang catholic catholic hymnals and we will raise you up on And we will raise you up on Eagles wings. I went into the, some church in Rome, Vatican, or the other one, St. Paul's, St. John's. St. Peter's, thank you. Look at this. Dude.

This is crazy. This is nuts. If I bully you enough, you will get smarter. It's great. Okay, I'm taking credit for it. And they started singing and everybody in the church just started gravitating towards this chant. Gravitating. Gravitating.

No, did we switch brains? I'm on this stupid one. You're dumb. You have to tell me. St. Peter's. I don't know. It's cool to see. Let's see. Like, I'm not like religious like at all, but it's got a bunch of people believing one thing and coming together. I like that.

Expressing it can be pretty... Just seeing someone, a video of someone who just believes something so totally, and it's like, I don't agree with it, but it's wild. It's like, I believe in a couple of things. I like patron... I like saints. St. Hood, I think is really cool. St. Christopher, the patron saint of travel. Yeah. Why do you know about all the saints? St. Like St. Christopher, the patron saint of travel. Yeah.

Why you know about all the saints? St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals. Assisi. Assisi. My favorite prayer, the St. Francis prayer, seek to be to understand and not be understood. Are saints more of a Catholic specific thing? Yeah, yeah.

Is there an actual theme or just like my experience that of the different types of Christianity. What's the different sex? Yeah, there's different. There's like Episcopalian, Baptist, Pentecostal, Catholic, Christian. Catholic is no Christian. No, Christian is good. No, Catholic.

No, you're right. Oh, we switched. Catholics allow really bad people to come sing. So if you go to Baptist church, they have no tolerance for that shit. They're not letting you come in there sounding like trash. They're gonna shut you up. Oh really? Shut you down.

But you can be like a 100 year old white man in the Catholic church and just be like, now do you think in the Catholic church, unfortunately look, we know it, there was molestations. Is that the case in the Pentecostal? Dude, there was some bad guys around. Like, it was just constant. I think that the Catholic Church is-

Were they like, want to learn the drums? No, it's not like that. I think with the Catholic faiths, they were just so good at covering it up for so long. And they're just so big. Like, the Pentecostal Church, it was just some crazy guy in Maine who like made a church, like God ordained and made a church, but the Catholicism, like they're all like connected and shit and they'll like move, freeze, select, to ban. In underground network, like a Jewish tunnel, was that any like fucking...

Wait to ban kids? Well, if you get caught doing that, they'll just... Oh, they'll just move you to a different spot. You know what's wild? When I was like a really bad drunk and drug addict. My mom made me go see a priest. And also when I was younger, my parents tried to get my mom. No, my dad was my grandparents tried to get me exercised by a bunch of black Baptist women and they came over the house and were praying over me like,

Humma, Humma, Humma, Humma. And I felt so bad that it wasn't working. So I just started going, of course, that's what I was like, it's working, it's working. Oh my God. They had a constant church, like, they'll do the thing with like, lay hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Suck the cup that night. They'll like do these things where it's like you're standing and like they're like lay hands, I mean like the idea is like they'll be like, ha, like shoot the Holy Spirit, and you like fall back and then you have to shoot. And I remember, I have like a really distinct memory of the first time I ever went up to do it. And I thought, I was about to feel the Spirit and I'm just going to go out.

I can't wait to feel the Holy Spirit. And I went and he touched my head and I was still standing there. And he just kind of, see this, look at his face, kind of like... And I'm just like, I'm like this, and he's just like, I'm still there. I can't feel the Spirit yet. And then he just, he just'm like this, and you're just like, I'm still there. I can't feel the spirit yet. And then he just, he just like mushed me. He was just like, and I was like, yeah, like probably like, you know, seven or eight or something. You got mushed?

Oh my God, that's how you got into Mosh by getting mushed. That's crazy. Thank you. You're welcome. That's wild though. you. You're welcome. That's wild though. He looked at you like, come on buddy, what are you doing? Don't make me laugh.

I'm full right now. I'm wearing a robe already. I wonder what happens in situations, you know? I went to an evangelical church. I went to school in like the middle of the woods and there was this little tiny, creepy evangelical church. I just went out to watch and they took the gay kid from

campus like the gayest boy with the nails and he talked like this and they did and they did evangelical stuff on him and he literally gets up there like he's like you know and they're like and he stands up and he's like he's like I'm not gay anymore. That's like that video of the guy that's like I am delivered. I'm gay no more. I love women. I pray like that video of the guy that's like, I am delivered. I ain't gay no more. I love women. I pray for that guy. I did that in the ocean this weekend.

Did, did you? In Tampa, in the Gulf of Mexico. Wait, what part of that did you do in the ocean? I went in the ocean at 5 a.m. with a bunch of people in the Gulf of Mexico. I had a really bad December. It was as accounting crows would say, along December. It was a totally fine one. It was just no, you don't know anything about the tips of what happened because I can't share things with you because you get upset at me. Did you?

Once. Yeah. What do you think of that? I don't want to hear about it. Was that a dick? That was the craziest representation of sucking a dick. Yeah. I suck really big. It looks like it looks huge. Yeah. It looks really huge at the base and really small at the top.

And now she keeps asking me for money. Oh, yeah. Me? Not you. Oh, them. Wait, you somebody suck. No, I sucked her dick. I got rejected the night before and then I had a whore come over with the penis and

We sucked each other wait you had a you had a trans girl come over with a penis and you blew each other and now she's asking for money Yeah, and more wigs and she says if you don't give me money, I will nothing she asked I said no she goes Okay, that's why you had a bad December. He got no, I'm not gonna go into the details of the depths of my December. I'm just saying it was bad, right? He broke his foot off. Well, it's not a competition, Divna. All right? That was in November, December was kind of chill.

Okay, okay. Oh, well, la di da. Ian had the December for sure. You take the take with December. But I went into the Gulf of Mexico and I yelled out loud. I was like, to the Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, the one true God by the way. Not gay anymore.

Well, that was my joke, but in reality, I was like, I'm leaving the badness behind, which is so gay to do. And I was like, I bathed myself in the Gulf of Mexico with a new soul and a new mindset. And I did and ever since then I felt so good. And then you got out of the water of Mexico with a new soul and a new mindset. And I did and ever since then I felt so good. And then you got out of the water and said, Catherine, can you take photos of me in a towel? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I was like, I'm not gay no more. And then I literally had a bunch of men take photos of me shirtless in a towel. Two. Got you. Gail was a. Yeah, Gail's an avid watcher. And I told her for the last three episodes. She can't watch

Yeah, she's gonna um, you know, she's gonna know that her all her hard work and having women pray over you and all this didn't She accepts me more than this one and I just want you to stop getting extorted by trans women I am stopped good. I bazed. I think you could date a man. I would love for you to date a man I love you to date a woman. I would love for you to date a man. I'd love for you to date a woman I just want you to stop having sex with people who are going to ruin your career by getting pregnant or by getting an ass pregnant bitch What does that face? He talked about waking up in human shit. You're like, that's our justice. I want you to have stability in your life with somebody who's consistent and doesn't.

Yeah. And that's why I'm abstaining from those behaviors and it was a bit. That's great. And it's a new year. It's a new year. And I guess you could say I have a brand new soul. That's what that song is about. I did the same as I did. I relate to it. a brand new soul. That's what that song is about.

I do the same. Exactly. I relate to it. I put that song on at a girl's place the other night in Tampa. She told me to turn it off. Oh, no. It's OK. My partner would do the same. So no, she's like a butt model and like loves house music.

What do you do? What do you do, man? What are you the butt model? Where are these people? See? What? Are we, does it, okay. What do we feel about him fucking butt model?

Way to go. That's awesome. I didn't have sex with her. That's the one I told you about them. Woo woo. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, I didn't have sex with her. Who does she model butt for?

Only for him. Oh. That's not a model. But on her thing. What model is like if you are, Julia Roberts is in a movie and she has to turn around and they don't like her flat ass.

No, that's a stunt butt. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Dude, those waters in the Gulf of Mexico had done something. That's a stunt butt. I think it might be a booty model.

I'm the stunt butt. I'm the butt stunt is hilarious. I just have to say that. I'm the stunt butt. Yeah, but I still think that you should chill on the... I have. Only fans specifically. You didn't want to come out and say that, but that's what you're concerned about.

Only fans, girls, prostit that, but that's what that's what you're only fans girls Prostitutes people that he can his net nothing is ever gonna get anywhere. That's why I'm staying away from it It could be a nice only fans model out there. That's just the right one If you pay enough money, you gotta keep you might start liking you. Yeah He's gotta keep paying she bought me mcdonald's With the money you gave her I Sucked her only fans after I met her because we didn't have sex which I told her

We weren't gonna do yeah, but I had to get a little That poison out of me. Yeah, I had a lot before and I cut it down to four I've never done before and I cut it down to four Anything wrong with it at all, but I think that when you start I don't think you should get emotionally Invested in people who are there's who you are so subscribe or I do I think there's something lost in translation I found out she's an only fans butt model after We hooked up and so that's that's cool. Yeah Before you hooked up and kiss your friend was like do not hook up and kiss that girl. She's insane Yeah, and then on the car ride to her place. I really found out some shit. It never works with my tails you that's makes it

Yeah, oh dude She was really listing it off, but at her place, she played the piano and it was like real nice. And then we were eating McDonald's and she put on house music and it was terrible. And I go, can I put on a song? And I put on Angel Dust and she was like, I'm not into this. And I was like, yeah. And then we realized we had nothing in common.

We were laying in bed. She goes, it's funny. We don't really like any of the same things. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. That is God being like, what are you it's funny, we don't really like any of the same things. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that is God being like, what are you doing? I know, we haven't talked since. It's good. That's great.

What would you talk about? It's a good reason to cut it off if she's not down with us, get her out of there. That's what I'm saying. I gave her the angel dust test. Yeah. Sometimes those are the best signs when people are just like, here's my favorite thing.

And they're like, this is particularly something I don't like, that's when you get out of there. Like I was dating a guy and I was like, you don't like animals. And he goes, I like to pet dogs. And I was like, that's the scariest phrase I've ever heard in my life. That's a weird person.

Like someone who doesn't fuck with animals is the craziest thing. That's the craziest thing. Yeah. She, oh God. She had three cats and she goes, oh, this is really scary. Her cat, we're laying in bed and the cats start to be like,

like, at each other. And she goes, oh God, I really scary. Her cat, we're laying in bed and the cats start to be like, like, at each other. And she goes, oh, God, I hate that. And I go, what? And she goes, I love my cats, but I hate whenever I can hear them make noise. I go, what do you mean? She goes, when they meow, when they eat, when they drink water, when they play with each other,

when they clean themselves. And I was like, when they breathe in and out, in and out. Dupneau. That's definitely sociopath. Yeah. Sociopath foropath. Yeah. A sociopath for sure. Totally, yeah.

I know. I can fix her. Yeah, you probably could. With some jokes or something. With the power of you. Dude, Samson was making the best cat noises. He put Samson, his cat in the cage, to introduce him to Coyote.

And your cat, legitimately, I've never heard of making a noise, was going, ow! It was amazing oh It was amazing when I give him catnip Really? Horty cat noise that was one of the best one man. I'm a joke about that. Let's do it ready hold on coming to the stage From the B&E in with Jordan podcast late late show with James Corden, you know her you love her give it up for the She puts the ill in mentally ill. I've already left, I've already left.

Oh no, no, Jordan, come back, come back. You can't say a word. She puts the stupid in stupid. No, cause it's ill, like cool ill, like BC boys ill. She puts the kill in illness. She puts the ill in killer. You are so dumb today. I'm so bright. The puppy keeps me up. We just play all night. I haven't slept in weeks.

Jordan Jensen, say the joke. I thought I heard it. Use this to tell the joke. Yeah, use Richard as a microphone. I'm holding one. Notice that you can use him to talk about the animal doing noises. You know, that's the cat per se.

OK, I'll thank you. I do this joke on stage, where in which I don't have a dead rat. It's a prop. Yeah. No, I just like the rat. And I really wanted to see. OK, he'll be the audience. He'll be the audience.

What's up, guys? Where are you from? I'll be the rat. Where are you from? The Midwest? Look at you in that white sweater. This is a fucking JC Penney catalog. I'm actually from Shibuya. Shut up. Shut up. Don't heckle me. Wrap him or move. I'm reading a book during your set. I'm reading the text of your movie. Spin kick.

It's Richard. Okay, continue on, bitch. I thought I heard an Australian guy getting stabbed last night at my fire escape. I thought it was an Australian guy getting stabbed to death. I went over to the window. It was not an Australian guy getting stabbed to death. It was a cat. Two cats fucking. It's the exact same sound.

I don't know if their palaces are shaped the same or what, but it sounded like this. This is hard to do not on stage. No, oh no. That is what it sounds like. Check please. And then I talk about. And then I talk about fucking my stuff. I kept my money back.

The joke's accurate. It's great. Thank you. You did it. Can I say I heard it. You do it one time and you said you thought you heard a woman. You thought you heard in Australia getting raped is what you initially said. Did I? Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah raped is what you initially said. Did I?

Yeah, yeah. Really? No, you didn't. Did you? I don't know. Probably not. What? I probably wouldn't have said that.

Do you still do the shit in my pussy joke? That's really funny. What shit in my pussy? She had a joke where she was like, a guy was following me home. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And I can't find him, so I just did the next thing. I got to my doorstep, took my phone out and go,

yeah, I'm having a cat. I got shit in my pussy. I smeared shit in my pussy again. It's a good move. If you think somebody's gonna rape you, yeah, yeah, I know it's front to back. Oh my God. I haven't been doing that one, that's a good one.

You gotta do it again, it's so funny. And then maybe, yeah, maybe then I said, I thought I heard somebody getting raped, one. That's a good one. You gotta do it again. It's so funny. And then maybe, yeah, maybe then I said, I thought I heard somebody getting raped. Yeah. That's great. Although I think the cats are making that noise cause it is rape. I'm pretty sure that's what's going on. No, they just have sex like that and it feels good.

Oh, my friend's dog's dick got stuck outside of its body the other day. What? That never happened to you, Justin. That's not one of your million ailments. It's just stuck inside out. That's not one of your million ailments. It's just stuck inside out. That's so funny. We have to wrap it up, I think.

How long have we been going? What are we at? Oh, yeah. Well, you're not another hour that's compensated for any funny things I've said. Well, y'all want to stick around and do a Patreon after this? Wow! Hell yeah. That's a good time.

Yeah, let's do it. All right, how's this? Give us your plugs. That's a good time. Yeah. Let's do it. All right, how's this? Give us your plugs. What do you want everyone to check out? Where can they find you? Road dates, albums? Let us know.

The album is brand new Soul. That's the newest from Angel Dust. It's so cool that it's on my listens. It's bumped up past truck songs. You know what I mean? Which is which is that never happens where you get emotionally attached to one album and then the next one comes out and you're more attached to it. Oh, that's great. Thank you.

Yeah, it's really good. It's been really exciting. We just toured a whole lot on it and now we just have a couple fests and kind of like little fun weekend stuff we're planning right now. So nothing. LDB is the only thing I think that is announced at the time. I really want to go to that, but I'm going to be Missouri.

Well, Dan, what you doing? Some stand up? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Missouri, you're doing? Blue room. Ooh, no teeth. Nice. Fun room.

Great. They have no teeth. We'll see how they like mom wearing a comedy. Huh? Missouri. Wait, where's the LD like mom ran a comedy. Huh? Missouri. Wait, where's the LDB? Is it in the sound? It's Louisville.

Ooh, fun. Wait, what happened in Missouri? What are you thinking? Somebody had a cape on. That's my memory. It's my color in a cape. All right, if you got a cape, come out and see me. It's a blooper.

I don't think it was like, cause it was cool. It was like, I just ran a cape. You know, it was like trying to be like, wasn't a bit. It was like, I was like, I think that's cool though You know, I was like trying to be like, wasn't a bit. He's like, I like it. I think that's cool though. If I got second things, is this brand? Yeah. I'd like to be a cane guy,

but I don't want to steal hurt Valor, but I do need a cane sometime and it helps. Yeah. You'll get to be a cane guy eventually. I like it. Can I see this? Yeah. I was going to bring that when I went in the bus with you guys, but I forgot it.

That's really cool. Where did you get this? I got it in Washington, DC when I went to the Adam Sandler Mark Twain I forgot it. That's really cool. Where did you get this? I got it in Washington, DC when I went to the Adam Sandler Mark Twain Award and it's called a Pippi Kane because the guy that made it has two and it's named at first cat Pippi. If anyone's out there

and they want to make that Samson's head and say some dumb black cat named Pippi. Did you get painted? Should we do it on the pot? Arts and crafts, Patreon? Yeah. Oh! What are you going people to check out? Oh, tell everyone where to find you for lifting Should we do it on the pot? Orts and crafts? Sure. Patreon? Yeah. What are you going people to check out?

Oh, tell everyone where to find you for lifting because you've been helping me look good. Yeah, yeah. You can find me most days a week at Brooklyn Training Hall. Shout out Brooklyn Training Hall. It's just the best place on earth. Awesome gym culture. Shout out my boss and very good friend, Rob.

Rob Logan for internet purposes, but if you wanna get in shape, have fun. If you have no friends and you just wanna be around some people, it's a good place for that too. I feel like that's a personal shot of me. Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like. If you have no friends, you just wanna feel cool while not being really cool.

You gotta give out a weird vibe, but we let you hang out. We went out to breakfast. Just to watch how dudes work out. Yeah, man. Just like getting out there, listening to some Sepulchre I ate in the morning, listen to some Waze, feel good, have fun, drink too much iced coffee. Yeah, it's just the best. You got a really cool call chair and a lot of really cool people in that gym.

Yeah, it's great. It's really fun. I love it. It's really help. And you know what's funny? I had a bad December and guess what? I didn't go to the gym once. That's how it goes, man. You came with me. Yeah. At the end of the month, when everything got better.

Started turning around. Before your homophobic set. What? You made like a million gay jokes? I was making like gay jokes, but I forgot to tell the crowd that I'm like half gay. Yeah. So they were just like this weird little man.

He was like, it felt pretty hostile. Like after the after it was over, I was like, I was like, hey, man, like maybe like next time you run all of his jokes, like maybe mention that. And I flipped out. I was like, I'll tell you how to slap your little base. Why are you making homophobic jokes? No, he's foolish.

I like the non-binary one. No, no, like there was these gay guys and I was like, well, you didn't have to tell me. Oh, they were gay. And before you started harassing them, you made some other gay jokes. Look at this man. I had to hit someone else to say that to me. He worked the only one. We gotta roll this into Patreon. Okay, we love you say anymore.