Bein' Ian With Jordan - Bein’ Ian With Jordan Episode 083 : Stand On Business W/ Asad Benbow & Joey Dardano

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

Telling jokes and having smokes Riding back so through the night It's a wild ride when you're being eaten Coffee ice no matter what Now you know he likes it in the butt It's a wild ride when you're being eaten Being eaten But it's a wild ride when you're being in, being in.

Life is shit but you're positive. Let's find out what it's like to live a life. Being in, being in. With Jordan. Woo! Welcome to Being In with Jordan. Okay, boys, you're here for no reason. Just two strangers on a couch. You've never met before.

Off the strength. We've never met. We have nothing coming out. Off the strength. Nothing. Nothing's coming. What does that mean? What does that mean?

Just know none of this. Try. I got it off the strength. Like, you guys got to tap in. Hold on. No, no, no. Let them let them let them finish off the strength. Oh, like, I was she fuck with me. So she just gave me the price for free off the strength, like of our friendship, like, or off the strength,

just off the strength of whatever the so like for us being here, like, really, we didn't get it off the straight, just off the strength of whatever the, so like, for us being here, like, really, we didn't get it off the strength, but we can't really say why. So we got it just off the straight. I feel like that was such a bad, you both did get it off the strength. Somebody should snipe me right now. What snipe you in the head? Aside from the possible thing that you're not on, you are very funny, and you're very young. A young, funny anomaly.

How old are you? And funny is the oldest dust, but he's also hilarious. You're 20? Yeah. Yeah. How old did you think I was? I don't like when 20-year-olds have as much like swagger as you because life is going to just rape you in your ass.

And I want you to be prepared for that, okay? Yeah, get ready! How am I gonna... This is like looking in your future! This is gonna to be prepared for that. Okay. Yeah. Get ready. How am I going to? This is like looking in your future. This is going to happen. You're probably not going to go bald, but just horrible things are going to happen. Like what? Just realistically over time. Just like, just you're going to shit your pants a lot.

I've got a video me shit my pants. No. Are you going to see it? Are you drunk? No. I don't even get drunk. Was it on purpose? No, I just I ate pizza and. Wait, was it on purpose? No.

I just, I ate pizza and then I'm low key lactose and then my friend just started recording me. Yeah. You're lactose. Yeah, kinda. Yeah, yeah. So why would it be low key if you are? Especially your-

Because I don't really know if I'm- It's the highest key. Yeah, that's a loud key. Did you try and fart for a camera and you shit? Cause most of the times, yes. Well, no, I don't even know if I'm yeah, yeah Did you try and fart for a camera and you shit because most of times yes well no I don't even try to fart I just was like bro. I gotta stop like we gotta stop walking around And I thought I had to fart but People love reaction videos. So let me watch it No, oh, and then we'll put it up. You're okay with having Ethan put it up. Oh, yeah, I don't care about that

Remember how you were like remember how you're like I want to get pussy Watch this video of me shit. Where was this in Troy, New York? Oh my god Yeah, Troy is the New York when New York sheds pants. It made Troy. Yeah, it is It was a drip out Yo, dude, what it is It is man. I have to see this dude You are not you are shitting and you happen to have pants on no, I know my mom had to pick me up That's a liquid war

I do but it's fucking contained Problem I should a lot. That was like baby That was a problem. No, I should have a lot. That was like baby control. No, no. I love food. Yeah. I love food.

I'm anxious. Is it cheese? It's everything. What do you mean? It's everything. When I got when I got one of those food allergy things, it said, uh, yeast, gluten. It's a white egg.

You must die. You must not. You must not. Anyone who went to her. What was it? What is it? Oh, fuck. And asparagus must not you let anyone who enter Yeah, you're allergic to that bitch Before a comedy show one time and I just went up still yeah Shit their pants My man was just walking. How old were you? How old were you? This was during COVID. I was probably like, Oh, that's okay.

Then I was like 17. 18. Was it right after you got the jab when I shitted myself at what? No, it was an inside show. But I like did my best to clean it. I went home and just took that out. I think I drew out the jeans. I really liked it. Did you kill it? Did you bomb? No, I did good. I didn't get that's what you like did you kill it? Did you bomb? No, I did good You would shit in your pants, of course no no no only my sister knew I think I don't even think she knew you couldn't smell it You couldn't I don't think it was it wasn't like to like I shit it but then but so what I would do is I would hope this is different It wasn't like that video. It was like I would hover over the seat now I learned my lesson like now I just put like toilet paper down

But at the time I was like hovering and then it just got on my lesson. Like now I just put like toilet paper down. But at the time I was like hovering and then it just got on my jeans and shit. Are you from New York? I'm from upstate New York from Troy. Oh you're from Troy, right? How far is that? Oh like three hours?

Troy is wild. Toilet paper down since you've lived in New York? Yeah. Do you know, you just gotta let that go. I know. It's just just I've had that. I have I'm at the point now where I look at the toilet. I see pee on it and I'm like, fuck it. I will wash my ass later and sit right down. No, no, you wipe it off. I will say no, no, no. For years. I'm weird about germs when it comes to the shit in public. For years, I was I would be like

emergency like shitting. Yeah. And I'd be like squeezing it as hard as I can to set up a fucking bird's nest. And I've stopped doing it, and it is so freeing. You gotta get over it. You have to just be like, my ass is something that will be washed. No, you're shitting out of it. You're shitting out of it.

You're shitting out of the hole, not the leg. Wipe the seat, wipe the peel. But when you, every single time you shit, it's gonna splash back up. It's still gonna be in contact. Okay, what about this? What about this? What about this? You wipe off if it's a big splash, but you see something you're like,

I don't know if that's a permanent thing on the seat or if that's just a thing. And you just sit on it. You just sit on it because it's like starting to do this. As soon as you turn around, it was never even fucking there. Yes. Yes. What if it's more of a mental thing though? You know, I mean, just for my he. He can't mentally sit down on pee.

You just have to let it go. He does all the time. You gotta stand on business and sit on pee. You wipe off every toilet you sit on. You gotta stand on business and sit on pee. Absolutely. Nah, sit on pee. What kind of animal are you peeing?

Bro, you gotta stand on business and sit on pee. No, this is a bit. If there's piss all over the toilet, you're sitting on it and you're not wiping it off first. We didn't say all over. We didn't say all over. She's all over. No, like a couple drops at that.

That's disgusting. If there's like a fucking puddle, I will wipe that down. Because that's right around. Yeah. That's there's a drop. I won't have to do. Why not go? Shoo, shoo.

Because I would rather touch it with my ass in my hand. That's the truth. No, no, no. Send on pisses, maddie room.oo. Because I would rather touch with my ass in my hand. Bro, no, I'm sitting on this is mad day room. Yeah. What'd you say? Just tell a day room. Day room? I'm trying to tell one. I try to tell one in there now.

What is day room? That's like a, I think that's like a brunt sling. I just like something like, I don't know. I think that's still cool if people still say that. What's a day room? Just whack. Like, yo, that is mad day room. Like, like just whack.

I'd be corny. You have to explain why. You don't have to explain what it is. We get it. Bro, I'm not gonna lie. I couldn't have to explain why you don't explain what it is we get I'm not gonna lie. I couldn't even tell you. I don't know See if I say a word that you don't know if I say superfluous and you don't know what that is I know what that means. Why are you trying to play me? Word but that's the biggest one racism

That's crazy No, I don't know what that means, but still I try to be nice. See, here's the thing. Everyone under the age of like 22 does not know how to talk in terms of they can talk, but they don't know how to like explain stuff without just going, yeah, but that's what it is. You go, yeah, but what is it? And they go, but that's what we say.

And you go, but why? I mean, the whole deeper than why is there is a massive inability. But that's what it is. You go, yeah, but what is it? And they go, but that's what we say. And you go, but why? The whole deeper than why is there is a massive inability. There's actually reason for that. Caps lock. Bro, I have no idea what that. No, I'm so sorry. You know, can I look it up on Google?

No, I wish I did in the moment. I was like, oh, if you're not wearing a hat, that means you're saying. Oh, I know. It's cap in his lion. No joke. No cap is like no joke. hat, that means you're saying. Oh, I know. It's cap in his lion. OK, so no joke. No cap is like no joke. No, there is no joke.

It's like that. That is that is serious. Yes. Yeah. Makes more sense to me. Yeah. Yeah, that's because it says it in the dead. As Joey, are you cap and that you are louder than everyone else

when you talk? That's a day room. That's, yeah. And on. It's a little bit superfluous. I think also, I think it's probably because kids like, I don't know, I got like a tablet. And so I feel like you just nobody reads anymore. Like I never had to read a book since, bro.

So all my critical thinking. Do not violate. I don't even understand what we're saying either. We want to know the etymology. Yes, there is. I've looked it up. You gotta go in urban dictionary. Urban dictionary. Etymology of no cap.

No cap. I taught kids your age. Really? Uh-huh. Where? In the Bronx. Actually, when before, like when comedy was like, yeah. Yeah, like when I had a bunch of days up.

Did they take you, did they respect you some of them Most of them. No, well you said people people his age when you were younger Yeah, how old were you ten years ago ten years ago? I was ten. Oh What grade is ten? fifth, okay, yeah, I talk Yeah, I told fifth and sixth grade, you know, seventh, Bronx. Yeah, in 2014. Were there other white teachers there?

No. I was at every school. I was like the only. You were just the same here. You're the hero. At Boys and Girls High and Beds Die, that was the best. I was voted top five worst schools in the entire country. I loved it.

High school. Really? They were the fucking shit. Yeah. And it was when Fetty Wap is huge. And I'd walk in the room and go, hey, what's up? Hello. And they go, they go, yo, Mr. Fonus.

It was his shit. Jordan's in shit to school. Oh, dude. No. Well, when they saw my tattoos, they were like, oh, he's got his mind blown. Yeah. Mind blown.

And then what was your first tattoo? Chest piece. My dad's name in it. Sacred Heart when he was born and when he died. That's fucking. Do you guys have tattoos? No, no. You got tattoos? No, I'm scared.

What was your first tattoo? I'm scared of him. A catfish on my leg. Why? My father is nicknamed with catfish. Really? He had whiskers. He had the same tattoo.

Shut up. That is awesome. Yo, your father fuck with your comedy or nah? He died right before he saw it, right? Oh, damn, yo, that's sad as fuck. Yo, that's so sad. He has so ass. Yeah.

Are both your parents alive? Yeah, they are. Are they together? Yeah. We're blacker than you. That is insane of you to say. Oh, that's it. Yeah, they are they are they together yeah, we're blacker than you Sometimes wish they didn't see me do comedy though a little bit. Yeah, why just cuz I feel so bad every time they watch cuz I feel like They think I'm ass and I don't know how to explain to them that I haven't seen you actually bomb No, I like well, yeah, but also like they're just like serious black people like they're like cool like there

I don't know like gold gold glasses. Yeah. Yeah, they're like We do Kwanzaa. They're like that cheeky. Yeah, like do Kwanza. Yeah, or they like are they like hotel black Israel light Not that far not old used to Israelite? Not that far. Not, it used to be. Really? Not really that far, but more so like, like they'd be like, they'd watch this shit and be like, yo, fuck these crackers. Are they five percenters? No, they're not five percenters, they're not that far.

Do you got five percenters in your family? No, not really. My uncle's not a five percenter. A five percenter is a subset of black people that believes that, their black isolationists that believes that 85 black isolationists believes that 85% of the world is under the thumb of 10% of those in power. And it's up to the 5% to give knowledge to liberate the 85% and the ones in power.

Black people love Spider-Man. That's just a Marvel movie. With great power comes great responsibility. You never seen like a guy like on the corner just in Brooklyn Lodges yelling. I don't watch Black people. I just see them and I go, hmm. Yeah, I'll be uptown sell my knowledge DVDs. Brother, brother, second rye.

No, they don't do that. I've seen the Black Israelites on the corner for sure. But I haven't seen 5%. But that's like that. I feel, isn't that, that's like adjacent seen the black Israelites on the corner for sure. But I haven't seen 5%. But that's like that. I feel like that's like adjacent. Yeah. It's like the same thing almost.

Yeah. I went into the temple in Bed-Stuy. Nice. It's like the Egyptian black or Egyptians temple. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, it's like this huge temple. And I was like, where did you guys get all this?

And they're like, oh, Vegas closed their Egyptian exhibit. And we took all of it. So it's like this huge, there's nobody in there. There's two black people that are. Is that my dog? There's dogs that are like come in and then you go in and it's like Epcot. They allowed you in. Yeah, yeah.

They had so much to teach us. Dude, I my stepbrother is like a Egypt alien person. Oh, really? And they were like, listen to this. I wouldn't be born the alien. You think you do you think he does he like your comedy or not? Which one? Your stepbrother? Yeah. They both love my comedy. Oh, all right.

That's that's one step. Who I had sex with in some of my comedies about having sex. Yo, that's is he hot? Yeah. Really? Yeah. OK. You totally love him. Yo, yeah. I tell my love, M? No. Yo. What? I tell him I love him all the time. Yo. Like a brother. You had like, that's like, wait, how old were you when you had sex with him?

And did you meet before the, the stepping happened? Yeah. Nice. Even if it wasn't. We were in elementary school together, and he was the hot kid, and then he moved in with me, and then we grew up. And when I was like 19, I came home for college and we had to stay in the same room for Christmas when we had sex.

Yo, that's Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve? There's a documentary on it on brazzers.com. When did you become cool? Like, cause I feel like you talk about being fat and shit. I don't know if I am cool, but probably. No, you still whack his fuck, but probably. Probably. Watch yourself. That is crazy. I'm whack his fuck, but hey, probably. Watch yourself.

That is crazy. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that. He thought he was okay to say that based on the strength. I apologize. I think I was always cool. Even when I was fat, I was funny. I was always in the principal's office.

I was always getting in trouble. Hard. I was always making people laugh. I just was also fat and I was like a goth too. So I had like the, I don't care. Fat goth. Yeah. Yeah. it is a vibe of a person. And then you lost weight and fuck your step brother. Yeah. You would you fucking get better? Did you have like that?

Did you have that sexual like re reawakening? I just couldn't believe that anybody wanted to have sex with me. It just blew my mind. So I was like, anybody in my step brother was like, man, I was like, obviously wide open. Is he married now? No. Oh, damn. We might end up together. Wait, yeah. Yeah. So dreaming. Every time we see each other, we're like, OK. That's crazy. Oh, I think I'm about to see him in a couple of weeks. I'm not having sex. Use it.

Nair, before I know that. Huh? What? I don't use it. I don't know. Get ready. I'm excited to see film. I can't even it was ready. I'm excited to see film it. I can't even, it was. Put it behind the Patriot wall. Facts, only fan, yeah. Yeah. Do it, stand up before and then.

I don't understand why it's that crazy to people. It's like if you had somebody. I don't think it's that, cause it's not your relative. Yeah, if somebody. The crazy part is the relationship prior. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, I guess. Yeah.

But if I had it, if I was like, we had a person, what's it called when they come and stay with you? O'Pair. Nanny? No, no. Foreign exchange student. If we had a foreign exchange student who lived with us for five years and then had sex with them,

people would be like, that's... Foreign exchange student only live for like a semester. Well, that's like, it's a temporary thing. And they come in. I'm sorry. What? Clueless, the whole thing is their stepbrother and step sister. And they end up together. I mean, it feels weird at the end of the movie. It feels weird. Also, Rod is in like graduate school and she just got her license.

So she's like 16 and he's a graduate. So he rated for the wife. I think it's based off Macbeth. Is Macbeth have a stepbrother, step sister thing? No. No, I thought it was a graduate school. He rated for the white. Oh, but I think it's based off Macbeth. Is Macbeth have a step-brother, step-sister thing? No. No, I thought it was a mother thing. The Lady Doth protest to my brother. It's a son mother. To my brother.

Maybe it's not Macbeth then. Which one is son mother? It's one of those. Oedipus. Oh, Oedipus. That's my favorite, that's my favorite player. Yeah. I just love what happens in it.

You know the five percenters believe in a lie, but a lot she stands for arms, leg, leg, arm, head, yeah, arms, leg, leg, arm, head. They accepted whites. I think I would join you. You would join you. You can try. Oh, no, you can't. I know. Yeah, that's true.

This is brother Ian. I do that would be the best. What would you do? You are you from Philly, too. That's all they have there. Oh, that would be the best. What would you join? You're from the 5%? Aren't you from Philly too? That's all they have there. Oh, dude, outside of Philly from Delaware. Sell a bean pies with a bow tie.

Well, dude, in the city of Walmington, where I used to do fish fries and everything for stand up, it was all fucking 5%ers. Why is it a peanut? Because there's- Arms leg, leg, arm head? Yeah. Go undercover one time.

Do a watermelon man. What is that? Like a watermelon on your head. No, it's like when they switch from white to black, and then you just, and just watch a 5% or meeting from undercover. That should be crazy. Wait, so you're saying go in in blackface.

Hit in camera. That'll be crazy. Yeah. I'll do it. Should we do that on the page? Yeah. Yeah, that'll be hilarious. Just go in as we can just pretend to be journalists.

Yeah, they wouldn't let us in. I don't think they did that, I believe he did. Um, we can get Troy Bond. Nice. Oh, yeah. He's I forget. He's yeah, he is black. I see. Is he black? Is he half black? Maybe I don't be saying the n word on stage. You know, no, no, you are.

That's my family or that black. Well, I feel like my mom, you're the only black comment. Can I say something? It's getting old. The N word. Can I say why it's really funny? Can I say something?

I I have friends that will have the best joke and then they button it with the N word. And it's like that was a perfect joke without that. But now you have all the white people in the audience being like out of fear. And I's like, that was a perfect joke without that. But now you have all the white people in the audience being like, out of fear. And I don't like that. Yeah. Oh, is it out of fear?

Yeah, it is really funny. And I think just the randomness, the absurdity of them saying it to white people is crazy to them, you know? Is crazy to them. Yeah. And sometimes it's really funny. I mean, like Ethan has won,

Ethan Zemmich Farris and I was on where it's perfect. And you're like, that needs to be there. But there are so many where you're like, you're rescuing that joke by reminding people, you're literally going like that joke bombed, but I'm black. So laugh. And they're like, yeah, you know, yeah, that's my worst fear. Also, I just feel like if I'm performing for all white people, I'm saying that and where it feels to like dancing, you know, yeah, I don't want to be your friends. That's so nice to hear.

Is there anything that white people do that you can't stand? On stage? Yeah. Open floor, man. The college brochure jokes? The real diverse audience? That stuff? Oh.

Crazy. Oh, yeah. What about when a black MCs, when someone gets up, they go, where you going? Take a shit. Yeah, that's funny. I get me every time. Probably you are. That's funny.

Because also I'm going to fucking drop one. I thought the third or four. Wait, I had one. Oh, what about this? This is my biggest pet peeve. Black host, every comic that comes up after has a slight black scent. Yeah, or just panning.

How else are you supposed to feel comfortable in general? Yeah. Okay. Can I tell you something so embarrassing? One time I was MCing a show on Brooklyn. What? You do that. I do black scent all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's who I am. But if a black person goes up before you, you're doing it hard. No. A little harder. It rubs off am. But if a black person goes up before you, you're doing it hard. No? A little harder. It rubs off. I lived with a black guy and a white guy,

and it was really funny how they would have to code switch around me, but then they would get short circuit if we were on the same route together. I don't mean, no, you're different. I was MCing in at Union Hall for a show, and I was bringing everyone up, and then P.D. Di Diabru who is the fucking funniest He came up and I introduced me. I was like, are you all this sex comic is my brother?

When he ripped I didn't know who they just didn't know. Yeah. Well, they were like a loser audience. Oh, dude, this one this one fucking. Ian, last night was mad at me and brought me up so fucked up last night. It was so fucked up. This next. What did you do? Basically that he was he was really mad at me. And he was like, yeah, keep it going. You've seen her on the late show. Here she is. Jordan Jensen.

Like that. Damn. Oh, what did you do? I was bringing. I was in a terribly miserable mood. You saw me during the band thing. He went like this while the band was playing. He was in a bad mood? You should have allowed him that. I did. Did you have a good set?

Yeah. Stop crying. I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just

like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was just this to be doing that. What you gonna call it? So fucked up that I get off stage two minutes late one day and you're like, that's unprofessional. Don't do that just cause I'm on stage. But then you're bringing me up and you're like, this next fucking piece of shit is over here.

No, no, no. When I gave you the light, you waved me off and we were like trying to keep the show tight. Well, she can't. Please don't do that again. I'm trying to have a good set on stage and you're bringing me up like this. This next time I'm gonna do it.

I brought you up monotone. And you got, yes I did. No, but he does that. That was crazy. I was bringing everyone up like this. This is not something I can do. I brought you up monotone and you got, yes I did. That was crazy. I was bringing everyone up monotone. I was in a terrible mood. You and I got a huge fight. But this is your fucking friend, dude. I was in a terrible mood.

Just like it's my job to get off stage on time, it's your job to not be a cunt on stage. But you, I should do a boxing match. I did a bad job last night. I did not do my match. I did a bad job last night. I did not do my job. I did a terrible job. I was miserable and Pete, the manager texted me today and goes, are you all right?

Oh, damn. And I go, yeah, why? What do you know? Can I ask why you're miserable? We got to fight. Oh, yo, y'all should do a boxing match. I'm a patriot. Maybe it wouldn't help actually.

He's a man. I would die. Oh, really? I don't know. You're like bigger though. Speak on like like like taller like taller taller. I'm so sorry. Oh, you better say cat Oh, sorry. I'm hella Kevin. I'm hella Kevin. Oh I would have let you date. I feel bad No, I think it's a fucking loud. No, I'm really I'm a pussy. Oh, I hit men But you never used to fight women?

Yeah, yeah, I did. You seem like that's your vibe. But when men come, I get scared. You'd be pulling hair or straight punches? Punches. Damn, that's different. Girls are like- Hair is crazy, hair is so mean.

My sister used to do it. That's all they used to do. At my middle school, it'd be like straight girls fighting more than guys. Dude, it's insane. Do you guys agree that there's actual like street rules? Like it's like no dick hits, no, no, no, no. If it's life or Do you guys agree that there's actual like street rules? Like it's like no no dick hits no no Yeah, if I forget I'm pulling hair time. I'm hitting it doesn't exist any longer when a guy's on the ground

You don't stomp his head out and when it's one-on-one. You don't have a bunch of people jump in yeah No honor. Well, no that is that is the rule if the person's already on the ground You can't keep hitting well one tell it to your friends have guns now I feel like That's really yeah But also if they have a gun and they start the fight with with fists that's you wasted money on the gun Well, yeah, cuz everybody nobody I don't think people start fights with fists anymore. It's just straight a lot of guns I've seen a lot of videos. Yeah, that's true

I'm seeing a lot more videos are Are there young people or crackheads? They are young people. Oh, alright. Never mind. Young people are fist fighting? Yeah. And you know people that are shooting themselves? Not themselves, but other people.

Yeah, yeah. I feel like more, I see that a lot. Are you anti-gun? I was thinking about this. Am I anti-gun? I don't know. I never went hunting, so I also don't feel like I really. Yeah, I guess so. Yo, I think I'm anti gun. I thought about that.

I never shot a million times. It's so fun. Yeah. You've got to go. You know what else is fun? Hitting people with your car. That's not what you do. Wait, that's more hand to hand combat compared to a gun. Yeah. You can't compare shooting a gun for for sport. It doesn't like a target.

So yeah, go to a gun range. Yeah, that's fine. No, no, yeah. Nobody should own a gun. But I feel like if they get rid of guns, it wouldn't just be so bad. Like, like people would just have guns illegally and then it'd be like super weird. That's what's happening. Or like in Britain, they've made it so that we can't get guns in New York State and the

criminality element is flooded with guns. And so people won't be able to protect themselves. Yeah. So just actually make it illegal to have guns, like really make it hard to get. Every city that has the strictest gun laws has the highest murder rate with guns. That's because they're liberal cities with a massive population like New York. Hmm. Speak on that. Yes. But that goes against what you just said, right?

No. I'm saying the biggest population is gonna have the most guns, illegal or not. Because there's the most people there. But you just said make the guns illegal and there wouldn't be guns. No, I'm saying make it really like the people who are manufacturing guns really go hard on them as opposed to just fines.

But that's what they try to do. They gotta make the sale. But the illegal guns is they're bringing like suitcases full of guns on Greyhound buses and just Harder to do they try to They I was on a Chinatown bus and I mean taking no eating a woman was eating a Raw fish, but she was Asian sushi a raw fish. But she was Asian.

Sushi? Damn. She was definitely Asian. Damn. Chinatown bus. Yeah. It was where it was $15 though. It wasn't even a Chinatown bus.

It was just a Chinatown bus. Wait, who are you guys voting for? I don't vote. You don't? I vote Bernie in every election. Bro, this is going to be my first year. Who are you going to vote for? I don't know.

Say it with me. Trump. No, I can't. I kind of want to do it ironically though. Like take a picture and post it on Instagram. Be like, ha ha, I suck my. But I can't know. Say it with me. Trump. No, I can't. I kind of want to do it ironically though, like take a picture and post it on Instagram. Be like, ha ha, I suck my... But I can't. There's no... I would feel like such a sellout black person.

I think that's against the law. And doesn't that suck that there's little laws like that? What? You can't just take a photo of the family. Being black and voting for Trump. Post it, bro. That's against the law. They signed that in.

Yeah. But you can't do that. And what a good bit that would be for you to take that photo Couldn't just ask for a new one My parents would whip my ass I'm probably they want you to vote for Biden That's true. I don't know maybe independent. That's I don't know what are the other people? I don't really know any of other people. I don't pay attention to the fuck

I've been watching I've been alive a long time and nothing has ever been different. It just goes back and forth forever. And while it's barely changed, and nothing makes, so I'm not taking any time. And Biden convinces us that he needs to save democracy and then gets us into wars. It makes inflation go huge. I'm sure once I have enough money that I want to protect it,

I'll start voting Republican, but right now. Yeah, of course. Yeah, right now it doesn't really matter. Right now Medicaid is more what I'm worried about, which so I voted for Obama. You got that right now? Yeah. Like, yeah, how much money you gotta make to not do that no more?

I don't know, because I don't know if they know about my money. Oh, you don't be doing your taxes? I've heard. Nothing happens. I've heard that when you talk to them, they go, well, you over qualify. So what would be a number that you think would be close to what you make to qualify?

They like to say the system I vagina has prevailed. And have you seen a doctor? Yeah, what does that feel like? And what they say? I just I can feel my hand. Like it's like a little like a ball or something. Come on, let the kid feel it. Yeah, yeah, let me feel it.

Like a swollen glass. Let me punch it. Like this. Let me taze it. Oh, it's like, and then it just, that sucks. I love just being serious when he's trying to make jokes. I don't know how to do it, bro. I'm ass.

He's like, let me punch it. Let me eat it. And I'm like, it's like a, he's like, it doesn't sound good. It doesn't sound healthy. No like, it's like a, he's like, it doesn't sound good. It doesn't sound healthy. No, but it's like really hard. Like I'm just trying to get into a gynecologist and it's like basically impossible because it's like, you can go to Medicaid

where they'll be like, we're gonna put a cockroach in your vagina and hope it comes out. Or you can go to like a one that's for normal people. And it's $800. Yeah, cockroach therapy, that's what I'm doing. You got to take off the cockroach filter when you search. Oh, keep. I've been going to

bug doc. I've been going to spider web MD. I also have been getting the puppy. So taking care of that. I've just not done any of my own. I got all my teeth fixed. Nice. And I'm getting orthodontics.

I got four. I'm proud of myself. Samson was supposed to get his teeth extracted. God bless you. On Monday, my cat, are you all right? I'm better than ever. Okay. I just saw you be like.

Nah, I'm chillin. Continue on Monday, your cat. I wanna meet your parents. You, Brian. Yo, chillin continue on Monday your cat. I got your parents you right yo I Would love to meet I'm not there's no way I'm showing this to them would they hate us I They probably wouldn't hate you but they would take you guys very much with a grain of salt Is your dad like radio right here from through the right? It's really like what fuck white people? It's yeah, but also my mom and my dad is a little bit cool white people because he grew up in Troy.

So it's like, oh, pretty much what like it's like, well, it's like black people and Italians. So he and he played like baseball. So he knew like white people. So he's cool with some white people, but he probably would just be like, oh, thank you for letting my son do that or whatever. And then like, but he probably would just think it's weird that I have a relationship with you on the first place. Really? Like, what's what you're just like, why he probably would just think it's weird that I have a relationship with you in the first place. Really?

Like, well you're just like, what if you brought home a white girlfriend? Bro, no, my mom, I just said that, bro, no way. No way. My mom said I'd rather you go to jail than do that shit. Whoa, that's the best. No, my mom would probably,

she probably wouldn't get suicidal. She would commit suicide. Oh, I love that, that is awesome. What if you really were in love? If I was like, this is the one. No way. So you only did like kids. That's like the worst thing. What would be worse to your parents? White girl gay man.

Gay. They're not. They're okay with gay. I think my mom wants me to be gay. Really? He was in fashion. He went to school for fashion. Yeah. Really? Yeah, they're cool with that. My mom asked if I'm gay. Sometimes I try to give them little things so they know I'm not gay. Like what?

But then they'll ask me about girls and I'll be like, I'm not gay. He just looks at them like this. I think that they know I get no ass. But I'm- Why do you get no ass? Probably like lack of trying and then also lack of self-confidence.

Like really lack of self-confidence. I can't wait to shoot it. So what happens a girl walks up to you and is like, I really like your set. I'll be like, oh, thank you. You like your set. I'll be like, oh, thank you. He's just coming immediately. I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, good set.

Oh, man, my head is all. I'm gonna diary and put in shit myself again. But then also, like, nine times, I feel like it's not really that often. I don't really have a very fuckable set. And also, I'm younger. I feel like probably when I get to 25, it'll be more people my age at the comedy shows,

but most times it's not even really that many, like people really might, but most of the time, yeah, my sets not really like, I'm not gonna throw a pussy at me. You think you still come off as cute, you mean? It's like either cute or just like, oh, what the, this kid's not, okay? He's weird as hell.

Yeah, the key word there is kid. I'm just weird. Yeah, you might look like you don't have anything in the place that you live. You know what I mean? Like it's just an empty room. No, just straight Ninja Turtles action figures. Yeah, exactly. Like a Capri Sun. Now, I almost threw my pussy at Dardano when I caught him screaming in the face of a annoying dirtbag who was being a huge bitch at this comedy show. It was like such a nightmare. He was just being such a bitch and we were all like, this sucks. And then I found Joey screaming. This man is so much

taller than Joey screaming at him, being like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I was like, Oh my God, it changed everything. It was from five minutes. Joey being like, did it on the dance floor? This night I switched up pretty quick. How long ago was this? Like a year and a half. Oh, that's recent. It's still probably on her mind. She had no takesies, backsies. Oh, he got a girl down there. My yeah, is your girl.

Yeah. But you wouldn't hook up with her on strength. I would have stood on business. And I think I would have kept it up. It means strength business. That's I'm taking that down. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yo, it ain't no day room taking that down. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yo, it ain't no day room in this bitch.

No, that's not right. It ain't after class. I wonder what day room means. It means just lack. I know what it means. I wonder what's from. But where they got it from, it might be. I bet it's from school.

The day room that you have to sit in. I'm so happy people don't listen to this that much, because they would hate me for not knowing. Like, I'm really not cool for not knowing. We have black listeners. Oh, but I feel like they're like, oh. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a room where they kept servants. Oh, it's that room from Twin Peaks. Oh, it's a slavery thing? Yeah. Oh.

Oh. Oh, my God. You fool. Oh, shit. The 5% ain't going like this. Anemology of demons. No, that's true. But I mean, this.

Why don't you and Jordan role play? You just got off stage. Oh, yeah. Dayroom is a designated area where I mean, why don't you and Jordan role play? You just got off stage and your room is a designated area where incarcerated individuals spend their non sleeping hours. Yeah, I think it's a prison term. Yeah, so still slavery. We're back in the modern day slavery. No, okay.

It actually, I actually believe that. What is current? I like you ever seen that that 13th documentary? Yeah. Yeah. That, that's kind of true. It is modern day slavery. There's more men incarcerated now than there were slaves. Yesterday.

Yeah. Or actually. I am against prison in general. Not because of black people, but I am against the actual idea of prison. Hey Jordan. Hi, Ian. So it's February and you still have

embedded yourself this year, huh? And I'll never do it. I just can't change no matter Well, you know what it'll help what learning another language Yeah, which quit quick ten minute sessions designed by over a hundred fifty language experts You could start speaking in new languages as it's little as three weeks That's good. Yeah. We I do babble and I've started learning Spanish. Babble. You do babble. Jordan. On and on and on. Please. Oh, sorry. Thank you. Jordan. I love babble. It's great.

I'm learning a new language. Lociento that I don't know it well enough to give the ad in Spanish. Lociento means I'm sorry. Are you guys using Babel? Yeah. Babel's rooted in real life conversation. So you'd be learning things you actually use. Here's a special limited time deal. Jordan, off your phone.

Here's a special. Lociento. Here's a special limited time deal for being in with Jordan listeners. Right now I get 55% off your babble subscription but only for our listeners at babble.com slash scott that's BABB EL.com slash scott rules and restrictions may apply Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Why don't you guys role play? He just got off stage. I don't want to do that at all. All right, I'm sorry. We don't have to. Let's do it. We can do it. Yeah, there you go. Okay. All right. What? Just prison comes up and you're like, Jordan, try and fuck us on. No, I was trying to do that before and then you're looking up. Go ahead. Go ahead. All right. Get fit.

Do you finish your closer? What's the last line of your closer? Well, I actually have to say it. Yeah. Yeah, um How come school shooters never try to shoot up a rival school? That's Wait, I have to keep on going. All right, don't do this at all. Just say no. Just say no. Yeah All right, that's not my joke. Yeah, get off stage. Get off stage. All right.

That's not my joke. That's not my joke. I swear to God. I swear to God, that's not my joke. I thought of that one just now. All right, thank you. Give it up for your host. I'm done.

That's really how I'll end. Hey, Assad, that was really normal. That's a normal way to end. I'll really be like, yo, thank you. That was so funny. I never thought about school shooters that way. Oh, my bad. You're where do you come up with your stuff? Do you want to talk? Like in the shower? Whoa. I apologize. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. That's not my joke. I didn't do that. I'm not here.

What? How? What I said, that's not my joke. I didn't do that. I'm not here. What, how else? What? A side, I think you're so funny. Listen to me. Would you want to take a shower with me

and come up with jokes? That's so, that's crazy. I'm going to go to a bar around the corner. Do you want to come? Ah, yeah. But I don't even be drinking, bro. And then also like I'm only scared that I can't get in a bar. That's my worst fear, pulling up to a bar with a girl. So you said you would say, oh yeah. Yes, yes. And then also like I'm only scared that I can't get in a bar. That's my worst fear,

pulling up to a bar with a girl. So you said you would take a bar, yeah. Yes, yes. Okay, well go, okay. It's just around the corner, come with me. How old are you? I'm 20. That's wait, how about this?

Well, let's go back to my place. Do you wanna come? Yes. I really, realistically, I'll be like, yo, I gotta go do another show with my friends. Yeah, he's booked. Are you booked? Low key. Nice. Low key. I'll be like, yo, I gotta go to another show with my friends. Then he's booked. I told you he's booked. Low key.

Nice. Low key. I'll be getting up. No cap. It's high. Oh my God. Your location is on the internet. What would you mind if I come along with you?

I'm, I guess so. I don't know. I gotta figure out. Honestly, my answer would be different. I gotta think about it as if you guys are attractive because no no no because I'm hard I'm bad at come thinking I'm gonna let this 20 year old I'm thinking about Ian. I'm thinking about Ian not you not you at all

But do you mind if I come with you to your show? Oh? My god, I love that you should you should definitely be able to pull up Like a chin up now like pull up pull up to this. Oh my god, I love that. You should definitely be able to pull up. Like a chin up? Nah, like pull up, pull up to this. Oh my god. Now he mirrors. Now he mirrors. You're stupid.

Come to yo, yo, yeah, do you mind if I pull up? Yes, yes, you should come. Yo, it'll be fun. I don't even think that would get, that would just be too forward. I'll get weirded out. Like you'd have to be like, oh my, I saw this game. I don't like him on that one.

You had him. It'd be too forward. You had him. You could have gone to the shows. But basically, basically, get weirded out. Like you'd have to be like, Oh my, I'm on that one. You had, you had him. It'd be too far. You had him. You'd have to be like shows. Aside. Aside. That was really funny. Are you done?

We done with this nightmare? But basically, but women don't ask it. Women don't do this. That's the problem. Sometimes actually that Loki do be happening. One time a girl did ask me to come and she did not look bad at it, like to come to a bar. But but then my friends, like we just drove somewhere else. And I couldn't convince bad to come to a bar. But then my friends, we just drove somewhere else.

And I couldn't convince them to. Actually also, what I have been doing is staying out at my friends' houses. So I kind of can't really take that risk of like, cause I needed to go to his house, you know what I mean? And he was trying to go home. So I kind of can't take the risk of going out to this bar and then hope it. And then if he falls asleep, I can't go sleep at his house.

Nobody except for Usama was drowning in pussy during the like hyper first being booked every single night, four shows a night. It's really hard to get enough running water. Yeah, Usama would literally find women to whose house to stay at. Yeah, because he didn't have a like he was somehow getting it to five order. Yeah. Usama would literally find women to whose house to stay at. Yeah. Cause he didn't have a, he was somehow getting it to five mics, then doing four shows, then banging out three chicks. That's a conversation.

After all that is beautiful, confident man. Huh? You're racist. There's something broken in him. I am racist. Yes. I think it's something broken in him. Oh yeah. He does have one. But I feel, his eye, that's hilarious. Is that an eyeballs?

Yeah. But I feel like he's like a tall, confident, like Indian guy. I feel like, I feel like I would want to fuck that guy. Really? You are gay. No, I'm not. Congratulations to Sassad's mom. That's right, Sassad.

Just let the mic. Young, Glyzzy, Gobbler, throat, gulp, grapefruit technique. 360, stop playing with it. What is Glyzzy? Glyzzy, cut. That's a dirty one to hustle. That's a dirty who stands on business going down in a damn dick.

What? You guys tapping. Oh my god. Like Morse code? All right, your turn to code switch now. Wait, what do you mean? Go super white. Go, I have to act white? No, you don't.

I'm not really that black. I feel like I'm not really like. I'm just saying stereotypically. I'm just saying can we do, can you do a full white? Pretend you're on a job or you're on the phone. But my voice isn't even, is it that black? White it up. This means a lot't even, does it add black? Why does it mean a lot to me?

White it up. White it up? Yeah. Hi, yes, is this Adam? Yes, this is. How are you? It's been a lovely evening. How are you today?

You sound like Chappelle. You sound like Chappelle doing an impression of a white person, doing an impression of a black person. Do you like Chappelle? Yeah. I know, I know, I used to go, oh wait. No, he's still cool. He's still cool. I don't like him. Oh yeah, you don't, well, of course you wouldn't like it. Do you like Chappelle? Yeah. I know. I know. I still go away. Oh, fuck. No, he's still cool. He's still cool.

I don't like him. Oh, yeah. You don't. Well, of course you wouldn't like him. He's like, hates on everybody you have sex with. Yes. Yeah. So do I.

You don't have sex with trans people. I hate on everybody. I hate on everybody. She hates everyone I have sex with. That's because, can I give the example of the girl the other night? She's like this. Giant, giant pink coat.

This big, okay? And she's like, she's like that. In the corner of the salar. Okay. And I was like, we have to clean up tomorrow. I was like, you would understand. Like he has four bath mats on his floor. And she's like, Ian, I can't even.

And I was like, this is not a representation of a woman. You're doing a bad job. None of us ever drip in a corner and like, I can't even. And I was like, this is not a representation of a woman. You're doing a bad job. None of us ever drip in a corner and are like, I can't even do that. But if you talk to her for a second, she'd tell you that she doesn't feel that she's a woman. She's a trans woman. But she's obviously trying to pass as a woman.

She is passing as a woman. She's very odd. But I feel like it's not about the representation. Yeah, it's about you just want to have sex with her. What? Oh, you didn't want to have sex with her? No, we did want to have sex with her. It was like a date.

We had had sex before, but it was like, let's get dinner. I just don't like, I don't like when men transition to be women and then their depiction of a woman is a cartoon version of a woman that's just like this, like, the bottom line is like, aw. Yeah, yeah, and a lot of trans guys, their depiction of men is that we all dress like little magicians and the furwees have our shirts off.

Oh, and is that threatening to your masculinity? It's not. I know, I'm just like, what's up little dude? But it is very threatening to my femininity. You know what I mean? I understand that, totally. That makes sense. What you're saying is totally valid.

Like if trans women were becoming men and getting six foot four jacked and being like, you need to gobble pussy and crush it wherever. You know, and start listening to Jordan Peterson. But every trans man hates Jordan Peterson and misogyny. You know what I mean? What? Every trans, were you on your phone?

I feel like you guys are also women are also an oppressed group, so it probably feels worse to that they're making fun of you guys like that. Or I guess not really, not making fun about like cosplaying you guys. And it's like, I'll be in a room full of like women and the trans woman is like the epitome of femininity and everybody around them is being like,

pandering and being like, oh my God, girl. And I'm like the rock in the corner being like, I have a hairy vagina. But I've seen women be bad at being, I've seen women be bad at being women though. Yeah, me too. Straight, yeah, yeah, thanks. No, I'm sorry.

Yeah, no, it's okay. No, it's because he did this. I didn't mean that. I don't think you should. You're the ideal woman. You're not the ideal. You're everything that you wanted to be. But I feel like, but more so like.

What woman have you seen being bad at being a woman? Like, I feel like, but more so like, what woman have you seen being more like I feel like because because I'm young and I feel like a lot of young people. Oh, you said what about you? What woman do you think is bad at being like, like a good representation? I feel like I don't know. Like just probably like most kids in like that was went to college or high school, like just super insecure. And

like, they're just like trying to be like cool girls and stuff like that. But they don't really have it all down. they're kind of bad they'll be like oh let's go hang out girly but they're trash at it and so they're also they're bad at being a feminine woman yeah right like they're trying to be like long nails and the hot thing but they look like shit yes yes yeah I agree with that I think femininity in a whole is a caricature that should go away. Oh, so it's, so it's being a dude's dude though. So it's being a dude. It's silly. It's all cringe to me.

Have you ever gotten high and hung out with them? It looks stupid. Have you ever gotten really high and hung out with a girl who's like, and I just really feel like you're like, this is funny. This is like a joke. Yeah. Or a man who's like, yeah, I just, you know, I mean, if we want to just talk about you know dominance Women wear makeup in order to attract men because it represents the bonobo pussy when it gets

Isn't it's so cool to look at life just as a fucking yes. Yes. Yes. Like you're living in the wild. Yeah These people live in the fucking in the jungle living in kind of like we're looking through an aquarium. Yeah. And people seeing how they like act. And I think a lot of it comes from nobody's. So many people are not okay with themselves. So they have to play like I look at fashion. Yeah. Like trends. And when I see someone dressing a certain way that's like new that everyone's doing,

it's like you haven't always dressed this way. So you're trying to fit in a way that way because you don't feel comfortable with yourself. So I feel like a lot of it's just like- I would have less rage for trans women being hyper feminine if I was more okay with myself. I would be less like hostile. But because I'm not okay with myself, I am like, fuck that bitch, those titties aren't real.

Why aren't you okay with yourself? Well, just because if you were a really fat kid, you're never- Yeah, that's a yes. Yeah. Damn, that is. You never see yourself differently than that ever. Damn, bro. That's really crazy.

So like you don't you don't ever think that you'll come up and like you like you don't got no celebrity crush. You don't think you can get them like make the stand. Celebrity crush like Jacob already you think he's out of your league. Who's that? Who? You don't know Jacob already. What is that guy?

He's like, oh, I met him and he said he might it was actually Are you saying you swear to God? He let me touch his abs. Are you dead ass? He said I'll have our people connect us No, are you dead ass? That's amazing? Wait wait wait? Wrong guy fuck Irish guy. Oh, that's still crazy. Wait you're talking about the dude from Oh Barry Kogan. Yeah Same now he's chopped Oh, Barry Kogan. Yeah. Oh, that's not the same. Now he's chopped. No, never mind.

Why? He's so much hotter than the other guy. He has a little weird mouth and he's like... Yeah, but his acting in that movie made me hate him. I hate Saltburn. That movie is absolute. It was trash. You know what else?

I'm going to say it. Poor things. Dog shit. No! It was Alt Barbie. It was Alt Barbie. That really is a really good... Thank you so much. I loved poor things. The burping of the bubbles was so gay. It was all Barbie. That really is a really good... Thank you so much.

I loved poor thing. The burping of the bubbles was so gay, she was annoying. I'm so sick of male directors thinking that a woman being empowered or a woman being depressed is them just like blowing dudes. It's not that, you know what I mean? They're like, look how much power she has. And she's like, and you're like, okay, go.

Hey, yeah, yeah, that was kind of weird. I don't think Amazon really looks that good to me either. So it was just weird to watch. She was kind of annoying too. Yeah, it was kind of weird. I don't think Amazon really looks that good to me either So it was just weird to watch. She was kind of annoying to see it was kind of yeah, but it was like I do I don't know but I don't know no, I don't everybody likes her. I do not LaVarland was awful. Oh, oh really? You know who's great? What's his face? Ruffalo incredible. I fuck around me. Oh He did great He did great. Yeah, you know who did bad

Again he was doing some of the worst acting I've ever seen he was talking incredibly slow was he reading it off of a notebook? It was like that It was like that. It was like that. It was bad. Everybody hates him. He's like, he's like my hero. He sucks. But it's our, but black people hate him.

Or comedians, I feel like. More so black comedians. Black comics? Yeah. Like what you said, you just, he's just hella funny to me. Really? He's, and he came, I feel like. Well, you're both gay.

Yes, exactly. So we're both gay black men. And then also I feel like, he just came like, like, it's like, I guess you see feel like uh, he just came like like it's like I guess you see yourself like like I'm like He's like a artsy kind of black dude, and then he was on like Tyler creators albums and stuff like yeah Yeah, and then all his jokes are just very good. I mean, he's just very funny me. I like him. That's great I didn't even know that many people like you just landed him. I'm just scared. I'm Joking I haven't even seen him

I saw him bomb the other night and sit on the stool and like waxed off at the cellar. And talk about being gay in a way that was like, nobody, it just doesn't. Why was he saying? It's not a thing anymore. Did you say it was hard? Yeah. What was he saying?

It's not that hard. I've tried it. Have you tried it? Yeah, once. It was fucking gay the whole time. The whole time. Yeah. You didn't like it?

Touch me. Come on. What happened? Ah, I You didn't like it? Touch me. Come on. What happened? Ah, I was just. Kissing? No, that's actually where I draw the line. Really?

Suck me off, get the fuck out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you didn't get no dick in your butt. Fuck me, I don't believe that's not gay. Oh, you don't suck off. Having a guy suck your dick is not gay. Did the guy have facial hair? No.

No, that would have been gay. Yeah, it's a guy. No, that's not. I'm a guy, that's a guy that's gay. What about a trans woman sucking him off? Is that gay? No. Oh, interesting.

Why do you keep thinking I'm gay? Because I think, because you act gay, that's why I'm saying you're gay, you're a fag, because you are, you act gay, but I think that it's fucked up that you are like trans women or women and you call yourself bi when they're the only men that you fuck.

I think trans women are trans women. I'm not on board with trans women or women. Do you have sex with men? I have, yes. Okay. I call you gay because you do gay things. I don't call you gay because you're trans. You take dickier butt.

I have. That should feel crazy. Nice. Does it go off? It's gotta feel crazy. Nice. It doesn't go off. It's gotta feel crazy. Does it go off? It hurts and then you pass a point in a return, you're like, all right.

It's gotta be crazy. Whenever it comes out. Let the good times roll. Let's go. You just have to be okay with maybe you shitting on somebody? Yeah, how big is the fear each time when the dick come out you poop?

You, Jenna. When the dick come out you poop? Big time. Have you pooped before? No, no, but can I tell you also I have a fear during sex when I'm having sex and I'm fucking that I'm gonna shit myself. Yeah.

So it always exists. Bro, I'm probably rewinding the ass and shitting over the back. It's so fucking funny. Digging the butt rules. You said you don't have a prostate? Women don't have prostate glands. Oh, that's only a man. Yeah, read a book.

Bro, I just said that. I just said that had to say this in because they fuck with me so I had to yes yes downstairs I'm trying to think I guess I probably had to say this in because they fuck with me so I had to yes yes downstairs I'm trying to think I guess I probably had to say this in because they fuck with me so I had to yes yes downstairs I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess I'm trying to think I guess Do you have a favorite room? I'm trying to think. I guess I probably had to say the stand because they fuck with me. So I had to say yes, yes, downstairs. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I'm going to say that.

OK, cool. Shout out to my son, Patrick. I wonder if you listen to this. He probably not. He probably not. He probably not. He probably not. Yeah, the downstairs.

It's funny how the stand has one of the best rooms and one of the rooms where it's the same. Oh, Sesh is a good room. That room is crazy. That's just great. That shit is crazy. I feel like that should be like crazy. Sometimes I'm like, but I'm young. Isn't it funny when there's only it's all young people and then there's one old guy just like I say no cap. You know, like Union Hall is crazy. I love you. I know you like yeah, that's like my home. I still don't have a club. That shit is crazy because those people read. I fuck with that. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, it's great. They read the house you'd like. Yeah. Yeah. I still don't have a club home. That shit is crazy. Because those people read. I fuck with that. Yeah. Yeah. Union Hall is great. They read. Bell House you'd like. Yeah, yeah. I'm in the Bell House. Yes, yes. Well, because they're like in the Ulster. They watch Poor Things and stuff.

Yeah. Little Field. Tap 10. Yeah. Yeah. Little Field is cool. Yeah. Isn't that all the same company though? Little Field, Bell House Union Hall? That would make sense. I don't know if it's true though.

I don't know if Little Field is. Is it? It would make a lot of sense. I think so. Oh, that's crazy. I don't know. I think we just affiliate them. I know make a lot of stuff. I think so. Oh, that's crazy. I don't know. I think we just affiliate them. I know for a fact, Bell Housing Union Hall or Brother, Sister companies. Oh, really?

Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Wait, so what's a movie that depicts women that you think is like a good depiction? Recent Anatomy of a Fall. Oh, that shit was crazy. That movie is so... That's because women are speaking a different fucking language.

Let's get the fuck in it! Let's get the fuck in it. Let's get the fuck in there. Come on, tap in now. I think... Women drive crazy and they also drive you crazy. What's a movie? Let's fucking go, dude. Yeah, women be pushing dudes out of windows.

Women be pushing dudes out of windows. You better put that business, you're standing on to the better business, Biro. We can't sit. No, I know it's left ambiguous. It's left ambiguous. What's another movie? Anatomy of the Fall.

Yeah, you thought that was a good decision of a woman. Say Barbie. Say Barbie. Well, of course, you see yourself in that. It's one of the worst movies ever made. I'm sure you definitely see yourself in one way. Why is, what's a movie about? It's about a woman who's basically,

they think that she pushed her husband out of the window. And she's like a very busy writer. She's like he she's trying to make the marriage work. She has a child who went blind because of an accident and she's still trying to like live her life even though she has a family and she's getting a lot of pressure from her husband. It's very good. I also think unfortunately I found out that she's just supposed to be a representation of the man's imagination in it, but I'm thinking of ending things very good. Oh, I read that book. I never saw the movie. Wow.

And the reason that's a big deal for me is I read like half a book a year. It takes me a long time to fucking finish one. Oh, yeah. I started and a quarter of the way through, I buy another book. I'm excited about it. Yeah. I dude, I have 15 pages up to the Alchemist. It's been three months.

Three months. I think I'm scared to finish it. Because you like it, Tanya? It's a good book. I do do that. I know what it's like. It's like a me liking it slow when it tastes good. Oh, you have 15 pages left?

I have 15 pages left. I do the same thing. It's a codependency. Yeah. You don't want it to go away. It was such a good book. I'll tell you, the only other book that I remember finishing from beginning to the end. Mansearch for meaning.

And I finished it and I'm still fucking lost as hell. It's tiny. It's a tiny. Get you a map, no cat. Yeah. But I got it in the beginning. I was on your side and I'm just trying to lose me. It sucks. What about Killers of the Fire Moon? I had an amazing movie bet. That's what I think. Stan, speak on it. Damn, you're a very harsh movie critic. Speak on it. I am. That's pretty cool.

The book was incredible. It's a who done it and the the plebans, the guy who's plebans, is like the most incredible cowboy ever and he's and Hoover's the president and he's making the FBI So cool. And then I think Leo was like we need to portray the Native Americans and not the cool cowboy Who done it and it made the movie bad. I see and long. Dang is that what type of move? I saw this movie the sweet East that those really funny. Oh, I haven't seen that yet You know, did you go to the film festival to see that? No, I went to it was just playing at IFC It's like about yeah, I don't know. Maybe you might not like it

cause it's kind of like poor things, but it's a little bit different. But it's kind of like, but it's like, I like weird movies. It's weird as fuck. It's not good weird. That was shitty weird. No, this one.

A cartoon. It's definitely funny. I don't know. Can I spoil it? Does it matter? I can. One of the first scenes, bro. I will like, I like a good bro. Like one of the first scenes, bro, I will like, I like, uh, good, bro.

I like one of the first scenes is like this. It's about like a young girl and she just like, she's, she's from Delaware and she, and she moves away. And I don't know, she does it. Through, through, through. She goes on a field trip and then she just like runs away and then she goes on like a shit ton of different journeys. But, but, uh, bro, bro, and then.

Going into a picture movie. So there's this girl, right? And she goes on. She's from Delaware. That's what happens, bro. And then going into picture movie. So there's this girl, right? And she goes on journey. She's from Delaware. That's what happens, bro. She runs away and then she like goes from like saga to saga. But, uh. It sounds like Wes Anderson is what she's doing.

It is. Bro, I like that guy. But, uh, you hate him? Yeah, that makes sense. What they said to do weird, right? They're real. You don't fuck with bottle rock. That's Chris City was good.

You see it? That is a bad movie and everybody knows it. Who's guy? No, no, no. I like that see it? That is a bad movie and everybody knows it. Who's game? No, no, no. I like that. That's a bad, bad movie. I had a good time. Bad movie.

You should see Long Day's Journey in Tonight. You'd like that. What movie is that? But you just keep bringing up depressing movies. No, it's good. To a pose. You're naming movies that I think are made up. You're like, what about the backpack of the Long Journey

man? And Long Day's Journey in Night is a very good play. Yeah. See, I'm a theater guy. I'll back that up. Did you see the undone thread of the sweater that was blue? Wait, this is a Chinese movie that it switches midway?

Yeah. Bro, I watched that shit. He saw it? Yeah, that shit is crazy. No, it's like in the middle of it, right there in a movie theater, and then it switches into it. Is that what happens? Or I just know it switches midway or something right

what are we talking about what are we talking about yeah it is yeah halfway through it bro they like going to the theater and then it switches into the movie that shit was crazy yeah did you see the upstairs on the downside no what is that oh dude it was, I can't even describe it. You gotta go see it.

What is it? No, no, it's playing at IFC. Yeah, no, that one sound like some shit. Oh, he's capping. No, it's just trapping. Wait, I don't know, at least so is that, do you have like a top five movies? Like classics, The Matrix, Liar Liar,

Oh Brother, we're at though. Long days during the entire thing. Bro, I hate those guys. You make hoes brothers? They can suck my dick. No, I told you, I told you. Why? at though long days. I hate those guys They can suck my day God, I don't agree with you. No, no, no, don't stand sit. What I agree with you except for that movie Just see which you got the other movies don't you like I've seen uh Is is I've seen a burn after reading I've seen burn after Oh, you gotta watch no country fold man. No, I'm scared. I don't watch violent Reading. That's such a funny fucking movie. At once! Yo, you gotta watch.

Have you seen No Country For Old Men? No, I'm too scared to watch. I don't watch violent movies, I get scared. It's not that violent. No, he's just a baby. You gotta watch No Country For Old Men. You gotta watch. I've seen No Brother Where Out There.

I didn't really, I, it's like cool. No, that's, if you don't like that, I would get why. They make like, I don't know, it's like very like, like they're like movies for people that are like almost artsy, like they're like in the in-between of like, they don't wanna watch It's like very like easy. Like they're like movies for people that are like almost artsy Like they're like in the in between of like they don't want to watch like fucking Michael Bay But they don't want to watch some like friendship But so like right in between but I don't like that shit. It's like whiplash might want to be it's like they're like Taman Paula for like Taman Paula

You gotta see Raising Arizona. You gotta see Miller's Crossing. You gotta see Bout of Buster Scruggs. You had to see Inside You and Davis. You didn't like it? That sucks too. No. What's wrong with you?

Just watch No Country Fargo. Fargo was like incredible. That's one of my top five. It's cool, but I feel like there's just so many other better movies. Fargo, Clueless, Ghostbusters. You hate dialogue. You hate dialogue. No, I love dialogue.

Man, everyone's so scared to have a damn dialogue these days. What's the point of moving a dinner with Andre? You can just watch the whole shit and they just talk. Yeah, I'll be so breakfast. I jacked off midway. I'm thinking of ending things. I, yeah, maybe I'll watch it. It's long.

Did you see the sequel to Dinner with Andre, Breakfast with Cecilia? Is this boring for listeners? I could talk about movies forever. Yeah, maybe they watch shadow. Wait, boring for listeners? I can talk about movies forever. Yeah, maybe they watch shadow. Wait, what are your top four letter box though? Like your actual, like you have to choose.

It's, it's, you gotta get classics. You gotta put modern, you gotta put everything in there. Top four. That I'm bringing to an island. Mate, or like that made me, okay. Matrix, Liar Liar. I really like Whiplash. I really like Whiplash is crazy. I just see that shit. That shit crazy. I really like Whiplash. I really like- Whiplash is crazy.

I just see that shit. That shit is crazy. I really like Phantom Thread. I didn't think I was gonna like as much as I do, but now I've watched it a million times. It's a good fucking movie. It's really good. I had to leave a screening of it

two days after Christmas because the guy who sat right next to me from the beginning of the movie, I'm talking like two minutes in, laughed at every single line. Daniel Day Lewis said like this. Ha ha ha ha. It's not a comedy. And then he also was eating. It's funny what he says is funny. minutes in, laughed at every single line. You know what they Lewis said like this? And then he also was eating.

It's funny. What he says is funny. Like, like, like when, like when, when, when she's like, I want to go dancing and she goes, really? Yeah, that's fun. And how the guy, but it's not fucking spit your popcorn out fucking. Every two fucking, you're right next to me. Yeah. Only two net. There was two and a half hours left. Yeah. Every two fucking, you're right next to me. Yeah. Yeah. Only with two net, there was two and a half hours left.

Yeah. He wasn't gonna stop. And what are we gonna do? I'm gonna tell a guy to stop enjoying a film. Yeah. Fuck that. You could go keep it to yourself. No, cause I did that once at Sweeney Tahoe,

my girlfriend, we went to a matinee and there was an old man behind us who for every single, same exact thing, every single thing that happened, not a funny show. A couple funny things happen and theater people freak the fuck out at anything that's vaguely funny. This old dude laughed like this.

It was on an inhale, here we go. Ha! It was never a chuckle, it was never a laugh. It was a whole inhale. Shut up. Ha! He laughed at the whole fucking show. And then at intermission, I go up, I wait for his friend group to leave, for the whole

squad to leave. The kid next to me, the whole fucking play, was holding his play bill like this, squeezing it every time this dude laughed. And then he went up to the bathroom, the mom goes, sorry, he's just been waiting for this for six months. And I go, I'll take care of it. And I turn to the guy, I wait in the calmest voice ever. I go, sorry, he's just been waiting for this for six months. And I go, I'll take care of it. And I turn to the guy, I wait. In the calmest voice ever, I go, hey, man, I hope this doesn't impact your enjoyment

of the show. That's nice. Then you punch him. But the laugh, it's, your laugh is so loud and it's so frequent. So maybe just try a truck. And then in the middle of me going goes So I thought about that immediately and I couldn't fucking enjoy Phantom Thread I straight up left Yeah, I get it

Yeah, my fifth would probably be a Western. I like so many usual subspecs, 12 monkey tombstone. I haven't seen 12 monkey yet. Oh, I'll be your Huckleberry. You think you'll make movies at one point? I would like to direct something. That'd be cool. Have you done it before? No. Nice.

Directed? Yeah. No, but anytime my friend is like, let's do a self tape, I really like moving them around and making them do things. Are you good at acting? I don't know. I just like, let's do a self tape. I really like moving them around and making them do things. Are you good at acting? I don't know. I just like, I'm good at directing. Oh, I see.

I'm good at acting, but I'm good at being like, you need to be more like this or do more like this or. Like controlling. Yeah. I can imagine you probably good at understanding the vibes. Yeah. You got the vibes. I fuck with Woody Allen, that guy's cool.

I love Woody. Actually, maybe not. Blue Jasmine, never mind. Incredible film. No, actually, maybe not. He's not the best. He's a blue jasmine. Never mind. No, he's not cool. Blue jasmine's a fucking rip off. You didn't like blue jasmine? It was just so weird watching it,

because I think I was opening for Louis at the time, and I didn't know he was in it. And I was like, oh, that happens a lot. That happened with, who do we have on the other day? Santino. Yeah. And it happened with Todd Berry when I was watching Wanderlust,

because it has the best bloopers. And Todd Berry popped up. You see in the Louis movie, what's the movie where he has a daughter? No. You've never seen that? Fourth of July. He saw I Love You Daddy?

Yeah. No, I didn't see it. You getting to find it. I'm sorry. I watched your Boo Lake. You did? Yeah. Hey, I watch everything on Watch.

You got to podcast to him directly, because all the money goes straight through him. My podcast through his website. I'm so sorry. Oh wait, I Watched it, but it is kind of it's like it's a little it's like when a rapper self snitches, you know Like I killed that guy and then it's like but it also it's like he's it's funny though He's like see like if it never happened you be like all this guy's amazing But it's wasn't it's like good. It's like kind of there's a really funny part

Amazing. Really? Well, it's like good. It's like kind of, there's a really funny part, but it's like of him doing like with a young girl and then it's like funny, but then it's like, oh yeah, that might be bad. Like I can see if somebody's seeing this, they'd be like, oh, this is terrible.

Like it's just like Woody Allen. And it's literally, I feel like it's about his relationship with like what? I can't watch that one Woody Allen movie with you. Manhattan? I can't do it. He's too young. That's just crazy.

It's too crazy. Annie Hall I've seen a thousand times with that one. I'm like, I can't get through young. It's crazy. That's just cool. It's too crazy. Any hall I've seen a thousand times with that one, I'm like, I can't get through this. He's so ugly. What do you feel about licorice pizza? I loved it. Yeah, why was everyone so bothered

by the fact that this kid was young? He was 17. Wait, so you like licorice pizza, but you didn't like, they ain't poor thing? That's so interesting. Licorice pizza, there was no magical realism in it, and it was such good acting, and it was so many like close ups,

and mom logs, and music was really good. But there was an age difference. What was the age difference? 17 and like 25. Yeah, she's in Hame. She's the second one. Oh, okay. Dude, I watched once over the cuckoo's ass. Have you seen that? Yeah, I should say it. Bro, I rewatched it and Jack Nicholson gets put in the hospital and the doctors like says here you're in for statutory rape you're 38 and she was 15 he's like honestly she was 15 going on 30 and when that red snappers talking to you you saying. I'm like, what the fuck is happening? This guy's sitting here. You're in the movie? It's so good. Oh, as good as it gets.

What's that? That's a great, great fucking movie. That's one of the best movies ever made. That's a great fucking movie. That's so- You have a nice eclectic mix. I just put mine together yesterday. Oh, we watched this in class and I was asleep.

For OCD? No. Got mental illness. Do I? Like, did you watch it for mental illness? No, I think we just, I was in a screenwriting class. Oh, cool. And, bro, I think that guy, bro. Did you, I think we just, I was in a screenwriting class. Oh, cool. Bro, I think that guy broke.

Did you think it was like an anger man? Fuck more screenwriting. No, I was just trying to imagine what kind of, like we watched Cry Baby in a mental health class. You know what I mean? Not Cry Baby. Not Cry Baby. Cry Baby's Johnny Depp.

What's the one where, what's the one where Hillary Swank plays a trans woman? Oh, all boys don't cry. Do we not, baby? Tootsie, white jocks. Boys don't cry. Do we not baby Tootsie? Boys don't cry. Boys don't cry. Oh, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Was she in that? No, I don't know. I don't know. One time. I'm gonna bow out. I was at a heckle. Barney. I was at a heckle mic with you.

And well, no, one time I was like years ago, like I was young. Well, I guess I'm still young. Yeah, there's not really, I'm a bitch, but so. I love it. I hate everything about myself. But I said it looked like you there. Why did you grow up like where you have to say sorry

all the time? Bro, I don't know. I think it's like probably my mom thing. And then also like all my friends were like way cooler than me, but like I was like funny. Okay. So I was funny, so I was around them, but like they were like actually. You figured out that the way to survive the cool friends is to roll over and show your belly. Yeah.

My puppy does that when she runs up to a huge pit bull, she rolls over and the pit bull immediately is like, oh, I love you. And you're like, wait, what made your friends cool? Like they like were on the basketball team and got girls and stuff. And like, they're going to live in high school got girls and stuff. And like I was using it in the intro as long as I'm like they're gonna live in high school forever. They're gonna like live in that. I know but these are my boys so I can't say that.

Oh, they're not gonna want to. Troy boys. Shout out, shout out, Werman. Shout out T-Team. What happened again at the school team? Oh I said he was like Woody Allen and then he was like, yo you're gonna be at Open Mics for the next 10 years. Oh is that you?

Do you remember that? When was I off? I feel like that's so long ago. He fucks young girls in your crush. Yo, do you really be, no, I mean, I feel like that's how you know your crush when you're fucking young girls. Oh yeah.

I feel like that's the way. No, that's what I feel sick. I couldn't see half the people in the back. No, that's what makes sense. You were going crazy. It was very good. The audience that goes in? It was so impressive.

Everybody thought it was cool. They were like, yo, I can believe all this guy's coming. It, you were going crazy. It was very good. The audience that goes here? It was so impressive. Everybody thought it was cool. They were like, yo, I can believe you all this guy's coming. It's about to be sick. Oh, no, sure. It was like a cool thing. What the fuck is it? Heckle mic? They used to do that.

It's just for open micers to make fun of each other. You go on stage and people yell at you and you like deflect and take it and then just like insult people back. But he was like a special guy and then we were like, oh yeah, this is about to be cool. Wait, being Goth was cool in high school or not? No. Oh, but.

You guys got to listen to cool music. Yes. Yeah. People didn't think my music was cool. Oh yeah. You know, they were like. Oh, they didn't think that was sick? No.

Goth is huge now though. Yeah, maybe. I feel like if you did it now in school, people would be like, oh yeah, this kid is like cool as shit. This kid is tapped in. Dude, there's like a ton beyond fucking TikTok. There's always one other kid who thinks it's cool. There's always like the king of Goths Yeah, maybe I feel like if you did it now in school people like oh, yeah, this kid is like cool It's cool there's always like the king of Goths who's older than you who thinks it's cool Yeah, we used to get a ride home from this goth who had a shaved head He was like 22 we were 14 or 15 and we could smoke in his car and he'd play like the most

Horrific goth music it's great And it always weirded me out and And when he would drive in front of a church, he'd honk his horn to be like, fuck them. I was like, all right, Josh, I do not like this. Once my friend rear ended me in line to get into high school and he just looked at me in the rear of a mirror like. Oh. And I was like, it's cool.

I almost hit Matt Richards on my motorcycle. He was on his little one wheeled thing. And I almost killed him. Those are so dangerous. Man, I hate him. My buddy Mark uses it on the street. He's doing it on the street street. Oh, he rides that shit?

And bro, they don't make noise. And there's zips up and around. They don't make noise. And you see one and you're like, that guy's raw. So it makes you fuck up. You know what I mean? Cause he's just a body like moving through space. And they're leaned like this.

It's really fucked up. It's like that alien and foreign video for smooth criminal when they like fuck up like that. It's really scary. We have to end. Oh, all right. Bye. Do you want to plug anything?

Do you guys want to plug? Go on, bro. We can't. We can't plug shit. How about you run a show? You run a show. Oh, I guess, dude. You'll pull up. It's OK.

Pull it together. You can get money. Minimum wage comedy show. You get bread. I'll be playing music. It's fire. Where is it? In LES at Offside Bar.

What day is? Every Monday. It's a weekly show. At 8 PM? 9, I thinkside Bar. What days? Every Monday. It's a weekly show. At 8pm? 9pm, I think. 9pm. I know how it depends.

And how do you get tickets? Bro, you can just buy them, or on November 8th, or just follow the Instagram, I guess. And what is that? What's your Instagram? Just minimum wage comedy show. What's your Instagram? Oh, my actual Instagram? Yo, I'm so sorry.

You got it. You guys are really... Go ahead. You're doing great. You guys are really... Go ahead. You're doing great. Yeah. But all right, my Instagram is asaadallsupremebeing. And who is a person of value? To me, Asaad Bemba.

Oh, my mother. Yeah, that's right. You are a person of value. You are a person of value. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Oh my gosh. And who's good enough?

I'm good enough. Yes, you are. I'm strong enough. And gosh darn it it people like me Watching that before if I ever get scared if I have like some important show or something I'll be like, yeah That's adorable. Yeah, Joey. What do you want to plug besides the man's a my butt? Man, you know what? You know what? Hit up that damn Instagram at Joe Ardano. Come see me do my hour.

I'm gonna be touring soon. And also I'm gonna be raising money because I'm gonna go to Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Oh, I was thinking about going to that. Should we should I go this year? To free? You don't go for free. We do the free Edinburgh or the paid Edinburgh. I'm going to do the paid Edinburgh because I want accolades and attention. I don't know if that's the right thing. Talk to Ari Shafir. I don't think that's the right thing to do. Talk to him. Really? Yes. Wait, you're doing like an hour like a one woman show type of thing.

An hour, which is but it's kind of one thing. But what if you're doing like an hour or like a one woman show type of thing? An hour. Which is, but it's kind of one thing. But what if you raised money like you even did it through your Patreon, you made it someone else's money, so it's just easier to go. Hori just said that there was like reasons behind it, like it wasn't as fun, it wasn't as cool, it wasn't as... I would, I would truly ask him. I haven't heard from that perspective yet.

Yeah, yeah, it's a good perspective. That being said, fucking Venom me. Yeah. Venom it. Jordan, what would you like to plug? This is coming out. I have a lot of show dates coming up. I'm adding a bunch,

so you just gotta keep checking punchuplive.com slash Jordan Jensen. Where am I going? Oh. If this comes out before February 20, 21st and 22nd, we're doing a live podcast run Zanies in Asheville, Zanies Chicago, Zanies Rosemont. There would be, is this going to come out before then? No? Thank you for coming out to those shows, guys. I'm going to Austin. Sacramento, Boston, Appleton, Wisconsin, Sunnyvale. Yeah, and then those, and I added governors.

Please get tickets to that if you're in the New York area for the love of fucking God. Oh, you'll sell that out in a heartbeat. And I added something else weird, but I forget what it is, so check. Bye. IanFodDance.com for my dates. I'm going all over

I don't know when this is coming out, but I have a bunch of stuff coming up Oh, my specials coming out and I think we're gonna put it out on the YouTube comm slash be an Ian pod. Oh and also I got you something. I'll give it to you right now real quick Okay, let I'm a bad gift giver But I thought of you and I thought this would be nice because the other night at the cellar we listed our top five favorite bands and you said that this was one of yours. And I know you like shirts. Oh, I do like this.

It's a. That's fire. This is fire. I thought you'd like it. Yeah. No, that's it hard. And I thought you could cut it like you like to. Shut up.

That's single stitch. That's single stitch. That is a that's a damn tee, dude. Where'd you get it? On the road? I get. Yeah. Now do us.

Now do us. Like sex. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, yo, smash or pass me, be honest. And then I know you pass. I couldn't be a true. I do that with your lips again. Smash. No, you're both a smash.

You're both. Yes. Yes. Yes. You have the most. Yeah. Let me tell you something. You have the most ideal male outfit in my opinion. Just so you know. Sure. 100 percent. The this this Joey, I was right, shirt. 100%. This, this, Joey, I would have to tear that cardigan off you, but the second I did.

I feel it, I feel it, I feel it, I feel it. Oh my God. You know, we're in the same exact thing. No, hold on, we can't get off of that. Look at how he dresses. What's wrong with the cardigan? Dresses I also really like. No, no, give a fuck.

What's wrong with the cardigan? A lot, dude. It's just, it's just. A lot. You look like you're selling a, It's very cute, it's very cute. You look like you're selling blue toots at a kiosk in a mall. It's very cute. You look like you're selling Bluetooth

out of kiosk in a mall. Look at what I'm wearing. Are you fucking guys or just like that? You look like you're from Azerbaijan. I feel like... You look like you're selling something. Yes, it's true. You always...

But what if it's layered? You look great. What if it's layered with a P? You look like you just got raised at Enterprise. It's just a little too clean. I know you're not going to change attire. You're not... There's no calluses on your hands. My hands are so callous, I play guitar!

No. But no, not right now because I fucking, I exfoliate my lotion. Like you took the black woman and black woman and I got the grown out of protest. I got the grown out of promiscuous lotion on. Why you take black kids to see Hamilton? You have black.

I do, because they need to learn and listen! You look like you date black women but spend most of the time apologizing. I'm sorry. If you have a chain on maybe. All right. OK, there you go. Oh, yeah. That is exactly who you're in. That is better.

That is better. Very specific type of man. It is specific. I wish it wasn't the case when it is a thing. Hey, what do you say we leave this hooters? We go to my fucking parade. Okay. Yeah, totally. Let's go.

Anyways, oh, take us out. You've blown shit before. Like a trombone. Yeah, like a trumpet. Yeah, that's perfect. There it is. That's really good. There it is.

Love you. Bye-bye. All right. That's okay. I'm out. Okay. Love you. Bye-bye. All right. Oh, yep. Yep. Joey. Joey, you've overstayed your welcome. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what you say anymore.