Bellied Up - Best of Bellied Up: Volume 1
Episode Date: September 14, 2023Here’s the Best of Bellied Up from the first 66 episodes. Episode 67 will be out next week. Thanks for listening 🍻 Charlie's Aunt and Grandma call in. Episode 19 Boyfriend loves hunting.... Episode 38 (16:14) Ethan's first call. Episode 51 (37:37) Southern Men vs. Midwest Men. Episode 11 (58:08) We learn about Pizza delivery. Episode 17 (01:10:28) Dating your cousin. Episode 58 (01:25:46) We try horseradish. Episode 41 (01:47:15) Ditch Chickens Episode 23 (01:53:13) Dealing with annoying family. Episode 44 (02:07:05) Pastor Dave. Episode 22 (02:40:18) Charlies date with Canadian. Episode 30 (02:59:56) Ethan second call. Episode 61 (03:26:55) Get yourself a "Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens" Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click Here
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Grandma, how you doing?
What?
Grandma, I'm at the bar right now. I I'm doing a podcast. You're on it.
Well, you know that grandma, that's what I just got done talking about grandpa Bob, you know,
you remember when he said to me
Charlie, Mary the first time for money and the second time you're married for love.
You remember when you said that to me?
Yeah, I do.
I do.
And then I, what's that?
He told all the grandchildren that he did, but you know, he married you and you didn't
have money. So what happened there?
He thought I had money.
Yeah, that's what he says.
He says, grandma lied to me.
Is that Aunt Mary in the background too?
It is.
I saw.
I am Mary.
How you doing?
I'm always great.
You should know that.
Are you guys in the car together? We are who's driving?
Oh, geez, go, geez. How are you feeling? You feeling good?
Am I gonna come up there and cut your grass on
Saturday? I am I gonna come up there and cut your grass on Saturday
Saturday or go now I
Thought well, I mean Saturday is a Saturday works, but if you want me to come tomorrow come up early and cut your grass
Charlie you just you just texted me that you're coming up tomorrow. Yeah, I forget what did is Mary cheese
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people.
I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. here too. Miles say hi. Oh, his mic doesn't work. How are we? How are we doing? He says how we
doing? Miles wants to know how you guys are doing. Where are you guys going? Oh, from where? You
don't want. I get my hair done. Yeah, you're getting all pretty. I like that. Yeah, cheese, gooey, scram, you know, what are you getting?
What are you getting all dialed up for? You got a hot date tonight? What's going on?
No, no, no. You know, my nails break if I don't have something on it.
So I'm sure I want to do it myself. So I just going to have a set nine up. So, and I'm trying to do it myself.
So I just going to treat myself.
Maybe I think I'm old enough to treat myself.
Yeah, you are.
And then if Mary pisses you off,
you can just stick those claws right in her.
We're going to wait night.
Yeah.
Now maybe you can come up and paint her nails sometime.
I'd pay money to see that.
I'd paint her nails. I got all the good colors here. I'm going to get you to get you to get you to oh, you're going on a nice extended trip, huh?
Oh my gosh, well you guys are best guests on the Bellyduck podcast now, so
You're gonna break the Bellyduck
Yeah, you're bellying up to the bar with us. That's how it goes. I got a question though about
It's the Cripes cast Mary things for getting the damn
All right miles has a question for you. So I got a question about
Charlie's lawn mowing skills. What are they what do they like is the best you can find
uh...
he's terrific
you know that's not true we've never seen him do it
you've never seen me do it marry
what the hell are you
what are you do what are you drinking
i have not seen you, the watching Charlie. Her memory is bad.
Yeah, hang on.
We're plugging you in here.
All right.
All right. Keep talking.
Can we hear you?
Yeah.
Okay. Mary.
I was just up there cutting the grass.
Okay.
And you yelled at me for running over.
Yeah. Mary, because I ran over all those signs. Remember, and you got mad at me. I took my lines. I took them down to Moe and then accidentally ran one over. I remember that. And the mojo was not good Charlie. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, at all. And there was there was a while they got this into there.
I've grandma test right now.
We had a one Mary.
Let me tell you this much.
Let me tell you this much right now.
First of all, how much was that
lawn cutting service? Huh?
What lawn cutting service?
Wow, you get what you pay for, I guess,
is the moral of the story.
Yeah, you know what, pay for I guess is the moral of the story. Yeah, you know what?
Mary I just
Well don't honey me now Mary. Oh, yeah now you love me. Well, I like you Mary. I like you a lot
Geez
Yeah, well this is actually a good moment here.
We're, uh, we've been giving out advice to people across the Midwest on our podcasts.
I'm wondering if you guys have some advice for us.
Yeah.
What's your advice for us?
We, at this podcast, we give out advice.
That's the point of it.
So when I do, I don't think you want our advice.
I think we'll, we'll take the advice that you got. And they better not be keeping your mower straight.
Yeah.
How about, um, let's see.
What would give me a topic, Char?
Miles, give them a topic.
Don't have it.
I was going to say relationship advice. I would say don't take grandpa Bob's advice. And she never works out.
It never works out.
You never know when you're being lied to.
That's true.
And let me tell you I agree with that whole heartedly.
Well, grandma, what's your advice?
I would say grandma,
I would say grandma,
I would say grandma,
I would say grandma,
I would say grandma,
I would say grandma,
I would say grandma,
I would say grandma, I would say grandma, I would say grandma, I would say grandma, let me tell you, I agree with that whole heartedly.
All right. Well, Grandma, what's your advice? I would say you have to marry for love.
Marry for love. Yes, no, not money. Not money. He was high.
High on what, Mary? Was he smoking weed? smoking weed while that be drunk. Now I now I find out
grandpa was smoking the pot. The devil's. Never smoke that. Oh boy. Oh boy. Mary, you
are digging yourself into a hole now. I dug it. Yeah. Well, I'm not gonna to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it.
I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. He would sit in a chair in the garage. Why did he do that?
He was outside the garage.
Because he always did that when he was a kid Charlie and he looked at the cow.
He used to say, I used to watch the cows go by now and watching the car go by.
Very profound.
Very profound.
You know, when he was five years old, he brought.
Morris had cows across the street. They owned a farm. found. Very profound. Yeah, no one he was five years old. He brought
Morris had cows across the street. They owned a farm and they hired him for a nickel a day to bring the cows in. On nickel a day? Wow. No wonder he needed to
marry Rich. Yeah, he was only making that nickel a day. You see where that came
from. That was about 1938, 39, 38.
That never will go very far. Doesn't anymore. When my mom and dad got married,
char, my mom's dad said, I don't think you should
marry Bob because he's blue collar and your white collar. Oh, geez. How is she white collar, but didn't
have any more money? That's what I'm thinking. I like fondle, like, white collar means some
different ideas. What was so am I going to this? Why did she say that? What was he talking about? I can't believe that with her. Yeah. That's... You know, it was the best thing I did.
It was Mary Grappa.
And my brother Joel agrees.
You mean seriously, Charlie?
My mom's dad didn't have any more money than my dad's dad did.
Well, you know, it's all about perception, isn't it?
Yeah, that's for sure. So your relationship
advice is don't marry for money. Don't take grandpa vibes. Don't take grandpa vibes
advice. So that's great advice guys. That's my advice. You got any more advice for us or
no? Could be about anything life whatever. When you buy a dog by a miniature shit, so
and call him Reagan. Oh, this is Mary's dog Reagan. He's so
small, he looks like frickin' musky bait. Literally, you just
strap that collar to some hooks and you could get yourself the
biggest musky on Lake Winnebago. No, Charlie, he's got a
complex because when you're wrong, he feels like there's
going to be a hook on his back and he's going to be thrown into Lake
Winnipeg. Well, he shouldn't dress up like Muskie Bay. So
and I've got some advice for the audience. Don't buy really
expensive winter coats for your dog. How's that sound?
I mean, honest, that dog's got better coats than I do, Mary. He's got
better coats than you do. $75.75. Mary, he, he's like for your father, you just work for
a nickel a day. You know how many days I would take to buy that coat. Yeah, what would Grandpa Bob say if he knew that you were spending $75 on a dog coat?
And he would have been proud of me, Charlie.
No, he would not have been married, not for that.
Geez.
All right, that's all pretty good advice, Charlie.
Yeah, that is pretty good advice.
Well, thank you guys for giving me.
I think we did well on this podcast,
Char. Have us on again.
Yeah, I will have you on, Mary.
And maybe the next time you come on, you can remember when I cut the freaking lawn.
I was excellent.
That's right.
Okay, it's a date.
Miles, it was good to hear from you.
Yeah, good to talk.
Is Charlie cutting the grass tomorrow or
Saturday? I don't know if we ever
established Saturday. Yeah.
Yeah. Taking the signs out before
you come. Why don't you just take
them out forever? That's
that's Charlie. Your last your last
note about the machete. Yeah.
Um, you're not doing that. I wasn't because I don't there's no machete. Yeah. You're not doing that.
I wasn't kind of, I don't, there's no machete there anymore.
What happened to that machete, by the way?
Who got that?
I don't know.
Somebody braided the garage and took that.
I got the drill press.
That's pretty nice.
Yeah, I was wondering where that one.
Yeah, well, I'll bring it back if you want it.
No, I need a chart.
Oh, Charlie, by the way, while you're on podcasts,
I have to compliment you on the sale of the boat.
Oh, yeah, we sold that boat.
Oh, yeah, that was sweet.
So we sold the boat.
10,000.
What was it?
16,000. 16, boat. 10,000. What was it? 16,000, 16,000,
$16,000. It all went to CBI Center for Veterans Issues and Milwaukee
great organization. You can donate to them. Thanks for bringing that up.
That was great. That was all your grandma should be your PR agent. I know it's great.
Yeah, that was really great. Yeah, thanks, Grandma.
Appreciate that.
You want to be Charlie's PR?
You know what?
Here's why she brought it up,
because she's just happy I got it
over a freaking drive.
It was sitting in there a little too long.
Well, that's okay.
Grandma, I got a snowmobile that I'm
going to bring over there.
Come the winter yet.
When is this getting a boat?
Is it next year?
Rufus says he's getting a boat, but he's been saying that for a while.
So we'll see if that happens.
Yeah, I know.
Well, you know, he's kind of cheap.
Yeah.
Charles, Charles, your snowman
feel like your last time, your last book. Are you talking about the rabbit or the
rampage? The rabbit? You mean, is it currently broken down in my garage?
Yes, it is. It's just all it needs is new spark plugs, Mary. You know what?
I'll trailer it up there. We'll fix it together. That'll be fun bonding.
trailer it up there will fix it together that'll be fun bonding. I am waiting. Yeah. Just for that Charlie. I can't wait. All right. Well, I'll bring it up Mary. Okay. Maybe I'll bring it up on
Saturday. All right. And I'll just leave it in the drive until until the winter comes. All right.
Okay. Bring bring miles with you. I'll bring miles. They'll be there. All right real good. Love you guys
Well, I love you grandma Mary. I like you. Okay. All right. Bye bye talk soon
That was nice. I was very wholesome moment. That's very wholesome. You're on to the grandmother sound exactly the way
I think they would sound yeah. Oh, yeah, great. They're a I mean they you got to do a better job cutting her lawn
Okay, you can't
Very important balls because what she's in she's in a spot where she's like oh
Charlie comes to does it for free, but she doesn't know how to tell you. You're not doing a very good job.
First of all, I'm doing it for free.
I'm doing an adequate job.
All right.
I add a quit job because now I'm not a lines guy.
I don't care about the lines.
So I do go a little willy-nilly from time to time, but that's the way I've always been.
I've always been a circular guy.
I go in circles.
Yeah, that's not good.
You don't go in circles.
No, you don't want to go on circles. Why not? It just is, I don't know. It, that's not good. You don't go in circles. No, you don't want to go on
circles. Why not? It just is, I don't know, it's just very amateurish. I mean, okay, can I
tell you this? Grammysus grass mostly clover and crab grass. Okay. There's like, it's not
the lawn. Oh, a lot of dandy lions. Oh, yeah. I mean, we've got a weed collection there.
Thistles, I mean, you want you want to see a fair maybe not it's more of a field. It is a field. Yeah, we
got which is fine. A lot of native species, a lot of invasive
species, you know, yeah, there's never been a pesticide on that
grass, not because anyone's a hippie just because no one is
cares. No one's paying that money. My grandpa would never pay
money for them to come spray what on the lawn? The else a
difference, you know, is that kind of guy? My grandpa would never pay money for them. The cum spray, what on the lawn? The hell's the difference?
You know, is that kind of guy?
Skiper shoes on, the pistols won't get you.
You go barefoot, he just had calluses for days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyways, what do we got on the line?
It's Stephanie.
Hey, Stephanie, how are you?
Where are you calling them from?
Minnesota.
Oh, Minnesota.
Where in Minnesota?
Dakota, I actually, Ronald, I like the, yeah, we just actually saw you.
We just thought it's right by lacrosse Wisconsin. Oh, sure. We saw you in October.
Oh, thanks for coming out. Do you have a good time? What do you think of the show? What do you think of the show?
It was great.
Very. It was fun.
Wow.
What was his worst joke that he had?
Yeah, I'm curious about that too.
I don't think there was one.
Oh, see, Miles.
Come on.
I keep trying to tell Miles.
I'm a funny guy.
He doesn't believe it.
But you know, maybe one day,
I also funny too. Yeah, I don't know about that you know
excuse well why don't you belly on up to the bar with us and tell us what's
on your mind
um I just have a question yeah my boyfriend is very, very avid deer hunter.
Okay.
And in 2020, he got a pretty, pretty big buck.
Good for him.
He's still talking about it.
Yeah.
And I'm sick of hearing about it. Um, yeah. And I'm, I'm sick of hearing about it. He was on a couple podcast.
He was in the paper. He was in Northern white tail magazine. Oh, you're, you're married
to what are your Daytona rock star. I didn't tell us that. Yeah. Why didn't you didn't say that we're that we had Mick Jagger yours was your boyfriend. Oh I'm just
yeah you're exhausted. I'm exhausted. I'm very happy for him. He puts in all the hard work
but it gets to his head. Okay, that's to his head. Now Can I ask just before we go further? Why did he end up in all these things? How big of a buck did he shoot?
I was a 25 or 25 pointer. Holy smokes. Charlie, you realize this is exactly what you wanted to call in and not talk about. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. Sorry. Yeah.
215 and 58 non-typical board. Oh, geez.
Oh, he smokes.
All right, well, no, we're not gonna shoot it at, though.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a secret.
Oh, dear honey hole.
Okay.
Wow, we thought we could get that idea, you know.
He's trained you well.
Yeah.
Did he even tell you? I've eaten them for a very long time. So you got you got amounted in the house then or what's the
what's the whole thing with that? It's out in the man cave, out in the shed. Okay. Did he do a
shoulder mount? Did he do a full body? Maybe a full body type of one. Yeah.
He almost did, but he didn't. It was just thought half, half
month. Yeah, the shoulder mount. Did he try to put it in the living room?
No, he's got all this here. He got to actually three years, his biggest
years this year, two in November and one the biggest one in December,
2020. Wow. Ah, Charlie. Yeah. Sorry. I'm talking about. Yeah.
We're not talking about this.
Okay. Well, why'd you why'd you call me?
You know what he shot it with though?
Sorry. Before he move on.
Yeah.
Bulldog.
I'm a loader.
Oh, he's a muscle loader hunter.
Okay.
Wow. Good for him.
He does it all.
He does it all.
He's a red coat.
Okay.
The whole honor shot.
Yeah.
I'm not at all. I don't want to say this. It might make you uncomfortable, but I think I'm falling in love with them too. I get I get I get where you're at.
That's what I've been dating him for 25 years. Holy smokes. And he's you know, we've been dating since we were 14, 15 years old.
Oh my.
We have three kids.
Why'd you guys never get married?
Um, that is his, his, I want to get married.
He does.
Oh, okay.
Well, it's hard because he's married to the game, you know, it's hard to be married.
Do you have the game?
Yeah, that's why I need help.
Oh, in the hell do I get him interested in me?
I'm thinking maybe I need to borrow your guys's hunt that buck costume. You guys wear pants on the whole of the mask.
that buck costume you guys wear. I'm gonna get a pants down the hall of some math.
Oh, yeah.
We kind of a little very appealing, slutty deer costume.
Myles, well, I do.
Well, no, that's, that's what she,
not she's not, I'm saying the costume would be well
to get them interested, is what I'm saying.
Sorry, are you?
Yeah, I'm just, it's 2470 talks about
what's hunting you watch as the video is, he does all his trance cam just, it's 2470 talks about Horton.
You watch the video.
It's he does all his trinkets.
It's everything.
Do you know what kind of trail can he uses?
I would like to see a little, you know, my back, maybe.
Okay.
I would love to know his regime.
I'm not killing if he's got a whole routine.
Miles, can you stay on track?
I'm sorry. This is a gal who's trying to get her fella to see her for more than just,
you know, the deer.
I mean, he sounds like he's the Michael Jordan of deer hunting.
If you had Michael Jordan's one of his wives on the podcast right now, you'd ask her
some questions about it.
Okay.
I get it.
Not wife, girlfriend.
Sorry.
Good.
Yeah, sensitive subject miles.
Hopefully someday, hopefully someday.
Okay, well, what is he, what does he say?
Like when you say I think we should get married,
does he shut down right away or does he ever reason
for not wanting to get married?
He kind of shuts down.
OK, well, he says he doesn't want to rot into things.
Doesn't want to rot into things.
Oh, God.
You're 18 year old son.
Yeah, it's smart to get him out of the house
before you get married.
That's a good move, actually.
It's something that taxes.
Yeah, 18 year old son.
And then we have 10 year old twin daughters.
Okay.
A little surprise.
I thought you're getting one got to
two for one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, here's my question.
What is your approach when you bring it up?
Is it passive aggressive?
Is it
a cheap straight out of it.
What is 25 years?
She's probably tried everything.
I've tried everything and I just, yeah,
I don't even bring it up anymore.
So you said everybody that we around brings it up
and you just, you just, you shut down.
Well, okay, this is a, this is a, I think, a deeper.
I can also, I think I, this is a, I think a deeper.
I can also, I think I can empathize a little bit with them because everyone was always
on media about popping the question.
And every time someone asked me when I was going to do it, I would move it back further
so that, so I think you guys just need to stop asking them about it.
And then he'll do it.
Sounds like that kind of situation to me.
Yeah, it might, I don't even bring it up anymore.
Why do you think he doesn't want to do it?
If you had to take a guess,
what's the line about the getting the milk for free?
About what?
What's the line about that?
You know what it is, Jern?
I don't know. You don't know, do you have any, uh, you, you, you just got no idea there?
No.
Because he just kind of shuts down. Oh my gosh. Well, uh, well, have you, uh, have you ever tried
a while? Why buy the cow when the milk is free? That's the line. You know, there he is.
A coach.
Oh, geez.
You know, miles.
Well, look, I think I think that you kind of have you guys ever gone to a,
you know, may here's what you do.
Are there any?
Okay.
Okay.
You tell them that you've got a box seminar
that a couples box seminar
and you did all your research there.
And you get this person, the person who's coaching
the box seminar, he's talking about bucks,
but what he's really talking about is marriage.
And that's the way to see, you know,
the thing is this guy loves deer and deer are, you know, I mean, they are not, they are a polygamist species.
And I think he's been spend too much time.
Well, now I'm not saying he's stepping out by any regard, but that, you know, if he
were a goose hunter, now goose, they made for life, you know, so maybe you can get him
in the goose hunting. Maybe you can get them into Goosehaning. Mm, probably not.
Okay.
Um, Charlie nice to hear.
He likes his deer.
Yeah, he likes his deer.
Okay.
Uh, I got another thing.
It seems like he's turning into a little bit of a, uh, media darling these days, huh?
With all the magazines and stuff.
What I want you to do.
Yeah. Is you're gonna, do is you're gonna come up
with a fake magazine.
And it's gonna be called Hunters, The Married Life.
And you're gonna put articles in there,
you're gonna show it to him, whatever.
He's gonna start reading it and it's like,
you're gonna have him, whatever, he's going to start reading it. And it's like, you're going
to have fake quotes like, wow, my hunting game has really gone through the roof ever since
I got married. Tell you what, my after getting married, you just your body releases your
pharomones that attract deer, you know, like you have articles about all that.
I actually heard that. That's true. Now, once you get married, you just, like, do you have articles about all that? I actually heard that, it's true. That once you get married,
just if you think bucks were coming to you before that,
once you get married, whole small.
So you're gonna do that and then they're gonna reach out to him
to have an article in that thing
and then they're gonna have to turn them down
because he's not married and it sounds like he won't
turn down any media opportunity that he can get. So then you'll have to turn them down because he's not married. And it sounds like he won't turn down any
media opportunity that he can get. So then you'll have to pop the question just so you
can get in hunters, the married life magazine.
That is one way you could go. I think of that. Yeah. Yep. I will think about that. Yeah,
I shall think about that. That mean, have you guys ever had a relationship
counselor ever get into the mix of this?
This is a word, man.
Well, I'm just asking.
No, no.
No.
And is that a, is that a heart note from him
or a heart note from you?
They're, they're counseling as he goes sits on a deer stand.
Yeah, that's the up exactly.
OK, so you've never brought up counseling?
No, no. No, what do you think
would happen if you didn't? He'd be willing to try, but he what? I don't think we need
counseling. Yeah, what the heck, Charlie? Well, I'm happy you were very happy. No one would
like to take it a step further. Yeah, no, I'm not looking. Everyone's everyone looks
at counseling and they're like, oh, it's so bad
But you know, everyone's got these like weird issues in their head that sometimes they just need to talk out
You know, and maybe he's got like a mental block
About King Mary didn't he just got to get to the bottom of it. I don't think there's any shame in talking to someone about that
You know, in the milk for free to Charlie. That's what it comes down to well, no miles
You know, getting the milk for free. Charlie, that's what it comes down to. Well, no, Miles, I, I, what do you think that's crazy? You don't, it seems like you don't
want to do a counseling thing. Maybe. Maybe. Okay. We've given you. I don't think you,
you're calling it. We find some she likes child. All right. But just so you know, you got to
remember that you called into a podcast hosted by a guy
who's not yet married and a guy who's divorced.
So we're probably the worst people
that you can ask about this particular situation.
But we're going to try and get you something solid
before we let you off the horn here.
Okay.
Do you go hunting with him?
Okay.
No.
No?
Oh. That's his thing.
That's what what's your thing?
I'm being staying home with my kids.
Yeah, but you have like a hobby or anything?
Not really.
I'm a homebody.
I like to stay home.
You know, that could be a good, that could be a good place to start.
You know, I mean, maybe you sort of explore, um. Did it start going out without them all the time then you'd be like what's
going on you're like wow I'm not married I don't know I can go out whenever I want. Now let's
mess with his head. Yeah. He's hating every piece of advice. I would get, well, what, what kind of like, you know, oh, have you tried proposing to him?
Come on.
Have you tried it?
There.
Yeah, maybe I should try that.
That's it.
That's it.
And you know what?
I'm looking at a website right now where you can get deer antlers made into wedding rings.
Yes, I know. I've looked into that too.
Oh, have you?
Well, why do that actually?
But, but listen, but you would like to be proposed too.
Is that is that why you wouldn't do the proposing?
Are you opposed to proposing?
Yeah, I'd like him to do it.
Yeah, I can't do it.
It sounds like that's never gonna happen.
I don't know. Miles, it's not. I've not. Yeah, I like him to do it. It sounds like that's never going to happen. I don't know.
Miles.
It's not.
I think that this goes in the category of tough pills to swallow.
No, Miles.
This is a horse pill that's hard to go down.
Miles, we are here to offer solutions not to throw up our homes.
And sometimes the solution is just a little bit of truth, Charlie.
So she's just got a proposed to him, you know?
All right.
Well, you know what?
I think a good way place to start would be a, if you're, if you, she wants him to
propose to her.
And I think a good place to start would kind of be like exploring like the things
that you like to do and like, what are your hobbies?
You know, can you find something that you're as passionate about as he is as passionate about deer hunting? And I think you can kind
of like a, you know, not to throw it all back on you, but you know, you've been trying for 25
years to get this fellow to do one thing. But so maybe a different technique if you haven't tried
it is you just try to find yourself. What brings you the most joy? You know, obviously outside of
your family and all that,
but what do you really like doing?
Maybe try some new things.
Try some things you've always like,
oh, maybe I'd like that, but haven't done it.
I already tried the whole.
Give it a call.
She didn't like it.
No, but I think she'll like,
I'm giving it another poll there.
Give us one thing that you like outside the family.
Could be anything.
Oh, boy. Um, I don't know.
I just like hanging out with
friends and family hanging out
with friends and family. Do you
like hiking at all? You like getting
out? How is that going to help her
get married? Just really
understand where you're going with
this. Well, Miles, I wouldn't
expect to. Now, Miles and Miles
and I are about to break up.
I need to get married.
I just want him to pay you just a little more attention to me.
I got it.
I got it.
What is he love to do more than anything in the world?
Dear hunt, dear hunt.
You got to make it a hunt for him.
You got. make it a hunt for him. You got to.
Oh, yeah.
Just get him in a situation where it feels like, you know, why would I shoot this buck?
Now if I know I can grow it a couple more years and get even a bigger rack on it, you know?
Why would I shoot it now?
And that's his approach.
You gotta make it feel.
Yeah.
It's not gonna be true,
but you gotta make it feel like
he's never gonna get another shot at this buck
and he needs to take it now.
This is what I'm thinking.
Wow.
I didn't think Miles would come up
with any good advice in this,
but I think he just did.
I think he got it.
Yeah.
All right.
So what does that look like?
What does that look like?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just telling that like, I'm taking the kids and leaving.
You know, like, we'll get the job.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Well, see, you're not willing.
You're not.
That's what it's going to take.
He's been like, okay, fine. I'll get you. Let's get married and no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what was I think a call in these guys? Cheese, go, ease.
Well, how about this miles and I,
when you guys get married miles and I will
officiate the wedding?
Oh, there we go.
All right.
All right.
All right.
OK.
Well, I'm sorry to make you sad.
I feel like your energy was great.
We started it now.
You're sad.
Yeah, we really screwed the push here.
No, I'm happy to talk to you guys.
Oh, I was super nice to talk to you.
It makes me feel the better.
We truly were doing our best to help you.
Yeah, we're just we're just absolute idiot.
So you may have called the wrong, uh, the wrong person
to figure this out.
But I do like Miles' thing, you know, you know, you find,
find the thing that, uh, that, you know, you like,
and kind of maybe invest in that into your side of it
and just find your thing, you know,
and then that'll make you kind of,
he'll kind of be like, wait, what's going on there?
You know, and you'll be like that buck thing.
I don't know, now I'm lost in words,
but you kind of get the vibe.
Yeah, and before you go,
before you go, what kind of camo does your husband wear? Oh,
jeez miles are your
Point miles, you know, he's mentally. I thought we made him your husband because we came up with such a great idea as God
Well, you know miles you tried and this is what happens when you try cheese cookies
Well anyways, you got
anything you want to buy selling trade while we got you on the deal. The elephant husband.
Oh, damn it. Oh boy.
It's hot. No, no, I wouldn't do that. All right. Well, you seem like such a sweetheart and you really do deserve that, that ring.
You really do.
Honest to Pete.
So we hope you get it.
We hope you get it.
We wish you the best.
All right.
Someday, someday it's going to happen.
Okay.
That's how like you really believed it, but it is.
I'm putting that out there. All right. Tell your boyfriend. Thank you, okay. That sound like you really believed it, but it is. I'm putting that out there.
All right.
Tell your boyfriend.
Thank you guys.
I'm a big fan, big fan.
Mom, see you.
All right, I will.
All right, bye bye.
Thank you.
Miles.
Oh, my.
At the end, I was not purposely calling him
on her husband.
I messed that up.
I mean, I thought I was giving good advice.
I don't see.
She wasn't really giving us much, you know, and you kind of start to wander.
No, I just, I just feel like I start to wander.
And maybe we know how our boyfriend feels a little bit.
He needs to be more open to things too.
Well, I just feel like, you know, if, I don't know, if she found the thing that kind of lit
her up the way the hunting lights the husband up, you know, maybe the husband would be like
intrigued by that or a well boyfriend.
Or get jealous, you know, or get jealous.
Yeah.
No, I'm going.
Oh, man.
I mean, let's be honest.
I don't think it're ever getting married.
No, I think 25 years, he's going to change.
I mean, she said, dude, she's calling it, we call that, you can't teach an old dog new
tricks.
She's calling in the us to get advice.
I feel like she said a point,
she said a point desperation. She's calling us. I know. But she also wasn't open to any of our advice.
Well, we're also idiots. She did like the proposed to him. I think she should do that. That's my
final answer. Okay. With, with, with, uh, uh, antler ring. Yeah. There we go. All right. Take another
collar. I mean, she said, dude, she's calling it. We call that you can't teach an old dog
new tricks. She's calling in the us to get advice. I feel like she's at a point, she's
at a point desperation. She's calling us. I know. But she also wasn't open to any of our advice. Well, we're also idiots.
She did like the proposed to him. I think she should do that. That's my final answer.
Okay. With, uh, with, uh, uh, antler ring. Yeah. Mm, there we go. All right. Take another color.
Welcome to the Bellyduck podcast. Who we got on the line? Hello. Hello. Who do we got on the line? Oh, oh, wow, I'm really
surprised. I'm not in Z Ethan. Nice to meet you guys. Hey, Ethan, I thought you were surprised.
Sorry. I'm miles. Even what's going on, man? Belly on up to the bar. Tell us what's on your mind.
Big part of my life is coming up.
I met this fine woman we've been going on for quite some time now.
I think around like six, eight, nine months, something like that.
And she popped a question, hey, you want to get a house with me.
And I said, you know, I think that'd be pretty cool.
I think that'd be pretty fine.
You know, here think that'd be pretty cool. I think that'd be pretty fine.
You know, here's a thing though, she lives up in the good old Kansas City. I live down in the country about, I don't know, an hour and a half drives to and from. So we're trying to find a house,
but we just don't have enough time. Now I live with my father, Granny, he's around seven years old,
and I just find it a little bit, you know, embarrassing, you know, just to have a woman
over living in this house with me, with my father, seven years old.
I just think it's a little bit embarrassing, a little bit awkward.
Maybe I'm just thinking about it this way.
What do you guys think?
No, it's definitely a little embarrassing, a little awkward.
Not just kidding.
embarrassing little awkward. Um, not skitting.
We just got a cop. Just kidding.
Miles, we grow up. Can you treat our guests with some respect? I'm sorry. Good Lord. There's nothing embarrassing
about it. No, no, no, no. I actually was going to say it sounds like you and your dad got like a cool vibe going
a little bit like on the movie Step Brothers.
Oh, we certainly do.
Yeah.
Like you guys, you guys share with the door open.
You make beef jerky and now this girl's gonna move in and ruin all that for you guys.
I don't think it's necessarily ruining, but yeah, I get what you mean.
Yeah, I guess what you mean. Yeah, I guess what you mean.
It's, I just never really been like a, hey dad, here's my girlfriend or hey mom, here's
my girlfriend at the time.
I've always just like, single that out in my life.
You've separated, uh, girlfriend's from parents.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And now this is the one uncomfortable part. But now this is the one uncomfortable part.
But now this is the one.
Sure.
Bo.
I think you need to be less worried
about the moving in situation.
We got a little bit of commitment issues.
We got a little bit of commitment issues.
Okay, well, you do or she does.
Yeah.
What?
Who?
She did ask you to move in with her. I guess I do. do well then don't do it. Okay, yeah, don't do it
What are you? Well, let's hold on let's dive into what what do you think the root of the commitment issues is
Is is it that something happened to you do bass relationships? What do you think tell us about your childhood?
Man, okay, so time I was a child,
I had a crush on this one girl, and my sisters
were always bugged me, be like, hey, I heard you got a crush.
I heard you got a crush. I go, yeah, no, I'm not telling you guys.
I've always been embarrassed about it. And then ever since,
in the future parts, whenever I've tried to introduce my significant
other to like any family,
sisters, my mother, my daughter, not my daughter, my father, within a week or two or three,
the relationship always ends either. I break up with them where they break up with me. No coalition
with parents or anything like that. I just find it that that's always what happens
correlation. Thank you my apologies and
I'm just afraid of her moving into my place and
us having fights or something like that. I mean every relationship has fights
Completely normal about it until you get a divorce
Where was I burning me? I was all too well about the fighting and the use of horse thing.
Right. It happens, Charles. That's all right.
He's consoling you now. No, look, let's dive into this.
No, I mean, that makes total sense. I mean, that's a very,
you're worried, it's kind of like, you're worried that if you commit to this, then it's,
the last thing you want is to get your heart broken is what you're really worried about.
That's a little bit embarrassing. I mean, I live with my seven-year-old father, so if I get in the
fight, I'm going to go down my kitchen, he's going to be sitting there, be like, that was a weather.
I'm going to be sitting there and be like, that was leather. Yeah, my paper thin walls and his dad's like, you come down after
fight.
He's like, Oh, God, you're going to need a drink after that.
Here you go.
What's your dad thing?
And then my next thing comes this.
And I'm going to be honest with you guys.
She's coming over to my house about four, five, six times
and they've had their awkward runnings
and I've just been so awkward
and I just never introduced her to them.
And how old are you?
I'm 21.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, we do that because you're so young.
Yeah.
That's why you're sighing, right?
Yeah, that's why I'm saying.
What are you, you're moving in with someone at 21
after three, four, five, six months.
Also, you're not very good with numbers or memory.
Okay, well, she's moving in with me.
She's, she's moving in with me.
She's moving.
Initially, it was like, yeah, we'll get our own house
together and then like, oh yeah,
my cousin will come in as well and we'll pay for the house.
But then, you know, things become things things and later down the line to realize oh well
Situation ideally we can't do that. So again like her parents are kicking her out of the house
And she she doesn't have another place to go
Whole other story
Come on out is 2023 now in this economy no one can blame anybody. No, we're not blaming you. I'm trying to get the facts.
Right. So she lives with her parents. You live with your parents.
Correct. Uh-huh. And how old is she? Yeah. She's 22. We were born the same year,
but just like a opposite end of the special. She was January 14th,
on December 23rd. There's no judgment in that. No. Why is she getting kicked out of her house?
Because she's 20.
Well, no, there's a story here.
There's a story.
Her parents really don't like her that much.
Me personally, I have a specific type
who's one in a specific patient woman.
I like them, Goth girls.
And them Goth girls are packed full of red flags.
So those red flags turned into green flags for me.
Um, so I mean, I didn't even go one and one together,
you know, rebellious, uh,
parents didn't really like it that much.
It's like,
and you argue meant to,
oh yeah,
what was the straw that got her kicked out of the house?
What was the final straw?
Well, okay, she's not, she's not entirely kicked from the house but basically
um
oh man i don't know it's it's really just uh...
just like a multitude of things should try to do her laundry and she'll get
you know
yelled at for doing it like that come on i only got two days off and you expect
me to clean this entire house.
I beat myself to my room and my room only.
You guys expect me to do all this in the house.
Great, I mean, you guys are letting me live here,
but like, well, that's all your guys.
I mean, I imagine that her parents are like,
God, you're washing all of your black clothes
with all of our light color clothes
and it's bleeding onto my pure white clothes. We Just have a bunch of gray sheets in that house.
Just everything it's turned to gray.
What do you both do for a living?
Okay, so me right now, I work in a, my job is plating.
I take 24 foot steel barrels by like inch, two inches in diameter.
And I, I picked them up into a fixture and I scrub them 24-foot steel barrels by like inch to inches in diameter.
And I picked them up into a fixture and I scrubbed on the inside and outside
with this caustic stuff.
And I said in a bad of acid
and I played the inside and outside with nickel.
I get paid around like $16 an hour.
Mind you, I live out in like,
out in the country of Kansas.
While she lives up in Kansas City,
she's get paid like, oh, $12 an hour at a chicken joint.
She's at a chicken joint.
She's got no car, no bike,
and I've been kind of supportive about it.
Yeah, I mean.
It's just difficult to make money up there.
Yeah, I believe that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Once you come on up to Fargo, North Dakota,
where actually $16 an hour.
You can have your own place.
You can, you know, once in a while sneak out to the bar,
have a couple drinks on $16 an hour.
I hear you betch his hiring.
North Dakota is not real.
North Dakota is not real.
Come on now.
Says the guy talking about rural Kansas.
Oh, now we got an argument.
Yeah, Kansas.
But hold on, he loves arguments.
He's dating an angsty emo girl.
That's fair.
I usually just try to shut up because I don't want a relationship going down the pitch.
She'll get all political.
I'm like, yeah, I'm not doing that with you.
I'm just going to pop on some TV there.
That's always good. Avoid, avoid, avoid. That'm not doing that with you. I'm just going to pop on some TV there. That's always good.
Avoid avoid avoid.
Don't always usually goes well.
Is your relationship going well overall?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our relationship is doing pretty well.
How long have you been dating again?
Oh, around six, seven, eight, nine months.
Now give your take.
Oh.
What is it? I'm not. Give your take. What is that?
I'm not.
You're bad with numbers or bad remembering when you started dating her exclusively.
A little bit of both.
I mean, we both forgot when we first met up with each other.
We were talking about it just the other day at like some ramen joint.
When do we need a game?
Oh, I can't remember.
Yeah, I need either.
You just want to say this date.
Yeah, we'll say this date.
And what was that date?
I don't remember.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
I actually, I would love to have both of you guys on the line.
I think it would be an un-deamable dynamic.
Yeah, goop her in.
Can you merge her in?
She's currently at work, unfortunately.
She doesn't get out so definitely.
She shouldn't join.
She shouldn't join for me at the moment.
Working at Chick-fil-A.
Where is go chicken go?
What's that place?
I have no idea.
It's like on Anchorman, too.
When a jigger guy on the champ bat or
Yeah, champ Bailey serving
bats instead of chicken.
That's where she works.
She works that champ Bailey's
chicken joint.
Um, I'm sure it's a great spot.
Yeah, so back to your court.
Do you want actually one
our advice on if you should do this or wouldn't you want? I'm confused on what he's asking us. Yeah, so back to your cool. Do you want actually one our advice on if you
should do this or what you confused on what he's asking us? Yeah, what are you asking us?
Because it's a terrible idea for the record for you guys to move in together. But um,
I know what's out of doubt. What's out of doubt?
I can't you never introduced her to your dad. No, he's seen her in the house, but he's never properly introduced.
Kind of not really.
I never properly never, but never properly introduced.
They have like a couple running and I'm like, yeah, this is her.
Anyway, having a day is I'm a very awkward person.
This is her. Anyway, having a day, I'm a very awkward person.
I never put my loved ones with my family.
So what does your dad say then, the awkward run-in?
What is he say to you when you guys are alone about her?
He goes, dude, I got no problem with her, man.
I mean, you do you.
I'm probably the most chillest guy out here. My father and I have a great bond and I'm very blessed for that. Not a lot of
people have that, especially golf girls these days, you know, and I mean, but did your dad
like grow up on the slopes? Yeah. Or in or in Long Beach, California. He's the grateful dad. He's he sounds like a surfer.
No, he's a stoner though.
So that kind of explains a lot.
He's a nice, you guys, he's a big old
programmer. He even really go far.
He's been landlocked in entire life,
but he's gone through two divorces,
the final one being my mother.
And I just live with him.
It's just two guys in this big
old house and I just brought up two guys in the big old house just smoking weed all day.
Hey, you know, that's how it be sometime. You know, some people say, oh, yeah, I just want
to come home, have a nice, have a nice, have a nice glass of tippy cow and I'm like, hey,
you know, giving a glass of tippy cow in a, in a big old joint.
I'm a rock with that. That's my good, nice, afterwork.
I love how not doing much with your life. One of the discreivers of that was he's been
landlocked his whole life. They never see.
Am I wrong? Am I wrong? I mean, I've been laying locked in a whole life. I would say I'm doing all right.
He couldn't get out there and find a boat and properly sail.
I mean, there's a boat.
We do have our own lake named after us.
What's it called?
Stoner Lake.
It's just my last name.
It's called, yeah, it's called Boyer's Lake,
B-O-Y-E-R, Fochery-S Lake.
How'd you get a lake named after you?
This is our property.
Oh, so you guys named the lake after yourselves.
No, no, no, of course not.
We had some like, we had some like big old guys come,
yeah, of course we did big old guys I mean okay so
you're doing this yeah she's moving in yeah I I suppose no okay let's let's commit to
it I know it's it's well freak out a little bit to commit to it let's commit to it. I know it's freaky out a little bit to commit to it. Let's commit to her moving in with you and your stoner dad.
And what's the dynamic going to be like?
Is it like who's cooking meals?
Where is she going to work?
Okay, so here's the thing.
I could get her a job at my job, but I don't think she'd do what I don't want.
But you don't want that.
Oh, I definitely don't want that.
You would embarrass the absolute hell out of me.
She's more Asian than for context.
I'm half Chinese, I'm half American.
She's full white.
And she's way more Asian than I am.
She's got ramen both.
She's noodles for a living.
I'm over here like damn
I just got out of work at seven o'clock. Where's my steak and curly fries at? I
want my steak on this table. She's like yeah, I just made some ramen. I got you
some sushi here as well. Man, I get that out of here. I can only be Chinese on days and Sundays.
Am I wrong?
I don't think either of us are in any position to tell you wrong. No, I think you're right.
I guess.
No argument.
Okay.
So, um, so where's she so what is it like that?
Is she trying to, does she feel like she's got a fit in with you?
And that's why there's so much ramen and sushi or is this like that's actually just.
Oh, no, she just naturally likes that.
Okay.
She does naturally like that.
I guess she's been with a lot of Asian folks.
I wonder why I asked her.
She goes, what do you think I have a type in people?
And I looked around the room.
She's got nothing but like Asian posters.
Like she, she's unfortunately, she's into K-pop.
I mean, personally, I'm a 60, 70s 80s type of guy.
I let me, I let me, mean, personally, I'm a 60-70s 80s-fabick guy. I love me some Boston.
I love me some Boston, but she absolutely loves that Asian stuff.
You think I have a tight look around the room?
I go, yeah, I think you like Asian dudes.
She goes, no, that's not true.
That's not true at all.
That's not true.
So I think it's a little...
Anyway, off topic here.
Job.
I'm just going to get a job at Walmart.
How does that sound like?
I would be fine, but there's no free fine.
There you go.
All right.
I mean, that's the next one up.
Well, I think, dude, you're going to be fine.
Yeah.
You know what?
You're going to be fine.
I was trying to give you advice.
I think you should just give us advice.
Yeah, I think I think at the end of the day,
it's one of those things
where you see,
he got a good sense of humor
and no matter what happens,
just keep making jokes
through the whole thing.
I think it's the move to do.
Yeah.
So true.
Yeah.
So true.
And keep us updated.
Call us back with an update.
We'd like an update on this.
Yeah.
I will. I'll let you know.
And I'll get her on the line too next time.
Yeah.
And four, five, six, seven, eight, nine months or so.
Why don't you after you've moved in and all of that, you got to give us an update on how it's going.
Yeah.
What if you're dead and hurt?
I think it's like three, four, five, six, seven.
Oh, that'd be scary.
That'd be scary.
Well, he's not Asian, so I don't have to worry about that.
That'd be scary. That'd be scary. Well, he's not Asian, so I don't have to worry about that.
Okay. Yeah. What do I do? I mean, I didn't mean that I didn't mean that she was gonna hook up with your dad.
I just meant like there were no
I know what you mean, Miles. I know what you mean, Miles. I'm just twisting in that.
I'm just facking your balls. I'm going to worry about it.
I'm just twisting your nuts. I'm just bouncing your balls. Don't worry about it. Just twisting your nuts.
That's a good one.
Put that on.
It's easier.
But else.
You should get a notebook and start writing down important things
in it.
That's my only piece of advice.
Just that thing is I'd probably do that for about like three hours.
And I forget about it.
You know, that's true.
You know what?
You're forget it. You know what you're
Forget it. You got a system going to smoke one too many joints and you forget about the whole thing
Yeah, well there you go man. I think you're good. I think you're ready for it
There's no advice that we can give you at this point. No, you just have to let it go
Do you do stand up?
I suppose.
I suppose.
You do comedy?
I do stand up.
No, but I've been thinking about it.
I don't think I do very well though.
I think you would.
I really want to become a voice actor.
Yeah, you could probably do that.
You should definitely try stand up.
And just literally the stuff that you just said,
just talk about your life and people will enjoy it. Yeah
Find yourself an open mic in Kansas City. I have a point there. Yeah, next time you're in Kansas City
Yeah, well next time you're there finding open mic take your girlfriend
Actually don't take her
But just go by yourself
And give it a go. Let us know how it goes.
All right. We'll do. We'll do.
All right. I couldn't get the talk boys. Yeah. We do too.
Y'all have a good one. All right. You too.
Oh my God. I don't think there's any words to say. That guy was electric.
Yeah. That I want to want to be his friend.
I kind of.
Yeah, it's like you could tell.
We should he's a very confusing guy
because he's his humor screams,
I'm like successful funny guy,
but it sounds like he's struggling a little bit
at the same time, you know.
That's where the comedy comes from.
Yeah, maybe we should make him a guest host on the
belly-up podcast.
Yeah.
Next time when we're in Kansas City, we should do this show
in Kansas City at some point.
We should.
We should do a bunch of different things.
I don't swing through KC that much.
No, but you have an afterport and bargo, right?
Oh God, here we go.
You know,
airport explain me right now.
You know, all those work, right? You bring your suitcase. Oh God, here we go. You know, airport explain me right now. You know,
all those work, right? You bring your suitcase.
Oh my gosh, y'all answered. Oh, yeah. Of course,
we answered. What's your name?
My name is Sarah. Sarah, where are you from?
Yeah. I'm originally from the Mississippi Gulf Coast.
Nice.
I could tell with that beautiful accent
that you have there that you weren't from, you know,
Skolke.
I was about to say I just moved to Michigan.
So some people have caught on to accent.
Some people like it, some people don't.
So it should have been a hit or miss.
Well, no one should not like that.
I didn't know.
Don't pay attention to those sounds exotic.
Thank you. Exactly. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah. Well, you appreciate you. Why don't you
belly up to the bar with us and tell us what's on your mind? Yes. So I, I feel like y'all gotten this a lot recently. So if you don't want it, that's fine.
I just moved from Mississippi to Michigan four months ago.
I'm working with children with autism
and I take care of dogs and I love it.
It's amazing work.
Yeah, I don't know how to date Midwestern men.
Oh. Well, I don't either how to date Midwestern men.
Oh, well, I don't either.
So I'm gonna have to tap out on this.
Yeah, now I've dated a few and I can tell you this for starters.
Okay.
Now let's, why don't we?
No, Southern men are very different.
What are Southern men?
Yeah, let's talk to us about the difference between Southern men,
dating Southern men and dating Midwest men
Southern men are
Maybe
Well, no, not maybe so that men are a lot more direct. Okay, you kind of like they're very very strong
Like you kind of like you know in're in the room, you can like, they'll ask you on a date straight up,
no fear, no very fearless people.
Okay.
Okay.
I've learned.
Are we can be fearful?
I don't know.
We have fear.
Thanks for calling in.
Yeah, yeah.
No, go on.
Tell us about Midwestern now.
How weak are we?
Yeah.
I've, and honestly, I don't know if it's me because, because I am, you know, I am more
Southern.
I'm a little bit louder, a little more energetic.
And I don't know if I'm overwhelming someone.
I don't know if it's my fault.
But it kind of seems like with Midwestern men, I kind of scare them off.
And so I was wondering if you have any advice about that? Well, we are a frightful, polite, full species. You got it. I feel like I'm
being so mean. No, you're being honest and we need to hear it. I think what you're trying
to say is we're a little bit more eloquent creatures than the Southern man. Maybe they're
a little bit more of a bowl in a china shop. We're more of a
deer in the woods, really. You got to agree with that. We're still powerful, Charlie, right?
Deer are powerful creatures. They can really gallop. They can get going. Yeah. They're beautiful.
They're beautiful creatures. They get trot a lot. You know, so is a. Y'all are y'all are very eloquent men very like I will say that.
Southern men can be a bit aggressive. So I think in that I'm a little bit aggressive. And so it may be overwhelming.
So a Southern man might come up to you at the bar and say, uh, where are y'all doing the night? Why don't you come home with me?
Would that be it?
Whereas a Midwest guy would be like, Hey, there, how are you?
Hey, I like your shoes.
Them are real good.
You get those from the calls with Coles cash, but it means the same thing.
That's about that's about right on the money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, do you want a Midwest guy to come up to you and say, hey, you know,
geez, Louise, you want to come on over to my place tonight? Well, listen to some polka.
I just smoked some beef jerky. Yeah, I smoked some nice beef jerky. I got that in my
garage, you know, we can have some beef jerky. And I mean, if you're into that, you know,
yeah, I think I think on a first date, wouldn't be coming over but I love a good conversation. I love I like it when men approach me that maybe I
Just kind of don't know how to be I don't know what is that match y'all's eloquent because I just and just other and
Ingressive and you know, it can be a lot got it. Yeah. So I think we should stick with the deer analogy here.
I think what you got to do is you got to go. Yeah. I like the deer analogy. Yeah. So you got to go to
the you got to do it just like your hunt for deer. You got to you got to find a spot in the bar.
You're going to sit there a while. You're going to scope out the woods. You know, there's
going to be some bucks that come in that you're going gonna have to pass on, you know, you're like,
Hey, I don't know if I'm not a big enough body and not a big enough rack on them, you know, and
you're gonna let them pass on through the woods, but you still got to stay vigilant in there and then you're gonna see
You're gonna see your 30 point buck walk into the walk into the woods. And you're going to have one shot at this.
Now if you come, if you, if you move too fast, you're going to scare him off. But if you don't
move quickly enough, he's going to get away. So I think that, uh, that's maybe the best way to
approach it. What would you think, Charlie? Yeah. I mean, I, I'm curious when you, because you
say you have a big personality,
so when you walk up to a Midwest guy that you like,
what are you saying to him that you're thinking
might scare him off?
I think it's just, I think it's just that I'm very direct.
I'm very straightforward, I'm very, you know,
hey, how are you?
My name is Sarah, and then I'm just kind of like,
I go into it very quick, and it's like, what do you do? Okay, this and then I'm just kind of like I go into it very quick
and it's like, what do you do? Okay, this is what I do. And I get deep very quick.
What's in deep question? Yeah, okay. I mean, I was like, oh, I work with kids with autism and
dogs and this is why I love it. And then I'll just kind of like spiral into this deep reason for
why I like things. Yes. And I think it's probably. Yeah, that I mean, you're, you're stressing me out a little bit with that.
So I can imagine how they feel with that.
So what I want you to do is I want you to wait until you get on the first
date to start diving into the deep reasons of why you are who you are.
What you're going to want to do is you're going to want to make sure that
you're just cracking some jokes, especially
if they're maybe try out some dad jokes on some Midwest fellas. They're going to like
that I think.
Okay. If you all can tell me you're best dad jokes, I'll use them.
Oh, geez. So I mean, I got a goal for it.
You take maybe you're at the grocery store. Come on,
now, yeah, maybe you're at the grocery store. You meet them.
I did this in one of my videos. I think it can work. And you're
in the lettuce section and you asked the guy, Hey, want to help me
pick out a head of lettuce because I think two heads are better
than one. And then you're going to want to pick up two heads of lettuce. That think two heads are better than one. And then you're
going to want to pick up two heads of lettuce. That's a real knee slaper right there. Yeah,
it's a good one. Oh my goodness. I can do that. Yeah. I can do that. There are dad joke
books out there that you can you can find one of them. Now I do have, when you're, are you finding that the Midwest Fellows are not asking you out at all?
Does it have you been asked out by a Midwest guy yet?
I have not. No, and I'm kind of wondering if it's because of my personality.
It's not your personality. They're just, they are going to ask you out, but they're going to ask
you out in a different way. It's not going to sound like this. It's not going to be like,
Hey, you want to go out sometime? It's not going to sound like it's going to sound
something more like, Hey, do you want to come over and check out my shingling?
And then I will take you over to the supper club. Maybe if you're feeling it,
but if you don't want to know, they're going to be like, you know, I,
I got 40 acres of land that I farm in this and that,
and then that's when you're like,
Oh, I would love to see that sometime, you know,
and he's like, yeah, well, maybe, maybe, money.
Then you gotta slowly get into it, you know?
Because what they're thinking is you don't actually,
that they are being overly polite,
thinking you don't actually wanna hang out with them.
So they're gonna give you outs.
They're going to give you so many exit ramps along the way.
But those are not saying that the more exit ramps they give you, the more they like you.
Yeah.
Because they're, yeah, no pressure, you know, or nothing.
But, you know, if you do want to,
And see, that's a culture shock for me because other men don't do that.
So like, just because, you know, they are so direct. And so with stuff like that, like, that's a culture shock for me, because Southern men don't do that. So just because they are so direct,
and so with stuff like that,
I'm like, oh, maybe they don't want me to come,
so I just kind of won't,
and I'll just leave them alone.
You know what I mean?
You don't want to impose.
Yeah.
Well, she's used to, if a guy wants to go on a date,
they tell them that.
Midwest guys, they're not going to tell you anything that they want.
You're just going to have to kind of hang around long enough until they are like, all right,
let's do it.
It's going to date.
Gotcha.
Okay.
What's that called?
Does it?
I feel like Charlie and I are just grasping on to anything we can think of here.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know. I think we gave you some insight though.
Honestly, if you can slam a beer with them too, they're going to love that.
Yeah. Maybe.
So I just learned my last name means brewer of ale, brewer of beer.
And I love beer. I'm a huge beer drinker. Oh my god.
It's like a lean.
I love dogs and I work with kids. And so I'm all about it.
You are just a straight up Midwest catch here. So yeah, honestly, I feel like one lead with the
beer thing. You can maybe be like, Hey, let's have a beer. And then you just slam it. And he's
going to be like, Holy shit. what are we got going on here?
You know, his ears are going to poke up a little bit.
Yeah, maybe let's, uh, let's lead with, with actions instead of the voice, you know,
you just lead in with just slam the beer and that's a great conversation starter.
Yeah.
Slam a beer instead of a Southern accent, lead a beer instead of it. The southern accent lead with beer.
Well, you get up.
You slam a beer.
He's probably that made this arm him enough to be like, uh, okay,
right?
Let's go see a movie.
Have you seen the new top gun?
No, I haven't, but I want to.
You want to know how it ends?
Miles told me how it ended.
Tell her.
Yesterday.
Yeah, you can tell me. No, no, no. He spoiled it once. He spoiled it once.
And then you don't, you don't want to spoil again. He's spoiled for me.
I still haven't seen it yet. But, um, well, okay, well, hey, I've got to get back to work.
But thank you all. No, thank you. I got to get back to my kid.
Okay, tell your kids we says hi.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
All right.
One by
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can tell that.
I mean, that call is exactly how midwest guys are.
Right.
Just keep talking around the topic instead of just giving direct advice.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, we don't have to, but I was thinking maybe if you wanted to,
we could go out, but honestly, if you're busy,
no big deal.
Yeah, I think that's what she's talking about.
Yeah, it is.
It is.
But I do think here it's the thing.
The more Midwest guy likes you, the more outs he's going to give you,
it's not have to hang out with them.
Yes.
Yeah, it's, it's a very backwards type of thing.
Also, you notice that she's from the South
and how quickly that conversation ended. Everyone else we talked to on the Midwest was like, well, yeah, I suppose I better
get going. I know. I feel like I offended her. I know, but I don't think that was the case.
No, she just, yeah, very direct. Yeah, I like that. I mean, it's refreshing. I would never
do it to anyone. No, I was, yeah, I would be shocking to do that. Yeah. All right. All right. Good deal. Who are we talking to now? We're talking to Colin.
Colin, do you have a horizon? Can I ask? Do you have a horizon? I do not.
No, no problem. Well, no, it's fine. It's just a, you know what, I shouldn't talk smack about them. Maybe it's possible that they'll be a sponsor one day. Anyway, how you doing?
I'm doing all right.
Are you? Where are you at? What's your home?
I'm from the greatest city in the world. I want you guys to get.
Oh, the greatest city in the world. Man, to walk Wisconsin.
If you say Cleveland, we greatest city in the world. Man, twok, Wisconsin.
If you say Cleveland, we will hang up the phone.
Nobody, nobody likes Cleveland.
Okay, I just wanted to make sure.
Oh, don't say that.
I'm sure that that's what we real here.
Where are you from?
I guess Man, twok or Milwaukee.
Those are my two guesses.
Chicago.
Oh, Chicago, town. I was just there
over the weekend. I was just there. Yeah. What do you think of it? I've been there many
of times. I play in Chicago a lot. I like Chicago. I get a brag. That's not bringing everybody
plays in Chicago. If you're doing comedy, well, why don't you build comedy town? Yeah, that's where second city is. Why don't you belly up to the bar?
That's all your barn.
Okay.
I'm not really asking for advice, but I got to I just wanted to say this to you
guys, maybe give you some advice. But have you been watching the Little League
World Series?
Actually, it's on right now. Yeah, we're both half watching, listening to you.
It's electric.
I've never been so interested in baseball in my entire life.
The way you just said that made me feel like you're like half an edible in just watching
the Little League World Series.
I mean, I'm going to be honest with you, I would agree that Little League is better than regular baseball.
Last night on another podcast, you bet your radio,
you can find a world podcast or found.
Cripes cast, also great podcast.
You, we talked about that baseball is kind of lame
and we wish it wasn't.
And I think Little League fills a lot of those gaps for that.
Yeah.
I thought, look at this.
You're right, are we watching the same thing?
Are you watching Mexico versus the I can't read does that the
Yeah, my glasses had oh, I got my sunglasses. Is it what is it Mexico versus cheese?
Hey, well, it's just no, they're polarized so I can't see it because it blocks it out. It's nothing. Ooh liner to shortstop out for out number one
Top of the fifth inning. How many years are little league seven?
You're six. You're ahead of me. What? We're ahead of you? Hey, we're just going to spend the rest of the
game spoiling. Yeah. Yeah. Wait till you get to the top of the fifth. All right. Asia Pacific is just
running. All right. Guys up to bat. Yeah. He's got one though. Cool helmet set protects his job. He makes contact
in his deep right field going going. God. I've been actually did make contact center feel
the little old air air safe safe and the dude dropped the ball. You know, these kids got
to get their act together if they want to make it to the pros. Yeah, I'm not seeing any
talent that can make it. That's what makes it exciting. Yeah, that is because it's kind of like how we would play baseball
Yeah, it's like almost like
Too good at like defensive stuff where there's a lot more errors and jumble balls all that
Yeah, me and a couple friends are thinking next year
Get a car drive drive down to Williamsport and just just tell you at the low league world very well
Yeah, Williamsport is it there every year? Is it? Yeah. Do I not? Oh, don't say
yeah. Like, yeah, can you believe this asshole? He doesn't know that's in William sport.
Is that how you just said it? I mean, it's a it's a national
Okay. So
Chen you ting is gonna steal a second
That's how it's a special rudder. That's how he's gonna steal second. I think
Are is this phone call gonna end because you're gonna end it because you're sick of talking to us or well hold on what are you at work?
What's going on? Yeah, what the hell is going on? You just want to stay for swinging a man. Sorry. What do you say?
I'm on summer break. You're on summer. How old are you?
I'm on the break. Yeah.
All there. You don't have a job on summer break.
I do, but I mean, I'm off right now once you jump.
I work at a pizza place.
Yeah, boy. You good at spending the pizza or no?
Hey, you're a hand toss guy or? Yeah. No, no, no, I'm the phone guy.
Oh, I was going to say you have just a great demeanor on the phone. Seriously. Yeah.
You've got a, you've got a what freaking pizza do you want
added to you called us, you called us and you gave us that what freaking pizza do you
want to know where the pizza joint is? It's, it's an American institution, like the little
league Hall of Fame. No, the little league world series in the same city every year.
Yeah. It's a full, it's just who I am, you know, yeah, is that who you are? Do you like working at the pizza joint?
Absolutely not. The issue is the, you know,
pizzas are fine. It's the people who have to order the pizzas.
I don't think you should be the customer service guy. Now this is a good question.
This is either that or he was a pleasant customer service guy
and customer service had just beaten him down
over the years.
But this is good, because you seem like a nice straight
student fella.
And I think that the customers calling in to your pizza place
have worn you down.
And so I think we should do a PSA, a belly-up PSA.
What are the things not to do when you call into order your late night pie?
Okay, number one, know what you're ordering, please.
Know what you're ordering.
Don't call in and be like, uh, okay.
Well, first of all, yes.
Pizza hasn't been around that long and there's a lot of different variations.
There's not even like a standardized.
This is what everyone gets with pizza.
So how am I supposed to know that?
Oh, miles is your worst collar.
You can tell miles as one of those guys that call saying goes, yeah, so what's good there?
What should we do a mock call?
Yeah, let's do a mock call.
Okay, miles is calling in late night.
Ring.
And no, I'm not doing anything. So let me be the ring. Okay. Okay, Miles is calling in late night. And I'm not doing anything. So let me be the
ring. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. This is Domino's. Wait, what? Oh, I'm the ringer.
So I'll stop bringing you as soon as you pick up. Let's try it again. Okay. Okay. Sorry,
about that. Bring. Hi, this is Domino's. How can I help you? Hi Okay, you're talking to Colin.
Colin.
Yeah, so pizza.
We're talking about.
Cool.
Oh, this is dominoes.
I thought I was calling Papa John.
Do you guys have that garlic sauce like Papa John's?
Yes.
Okay.
All right.
Well, that sounds pretty good.
What? like garlic sauce like Papa Jones? Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Well, that sounds pretty good.
What, you know, I thought I was calling Papa Jones.
I don't really know what you guys menu is.
What, what do you guys got that's good?
You have pizza?
I also do have the garlic sauce or no.
Yeah, they got garlic sauce,
but I accidentally called Domino's Charlie.
What do you want from dominoes Charlie?
Actually, it's okay. They got the cinnamon bread over there. Do you have any cinnamon bread?
Sure
Our menus on our website why don't you take a look at it and then go back Charlie. He told me to fuck off
What? Yeah, you try to defer me to the robot. Hello phone. Hello. Here's my buddy, Charlie. Hey, uh, hello, sir.
I'm sorry about that. My house is a little drunk. Uh, we would just like a pizza.
Is this Papa John's? No, this is dominoes. Oh, Dominoes. Okay. Does Dominoes? No,
Dominoes is okay. It's asked them. No, ask them, no. What should I ask?
What should I ask?
Come on,
he's gonna hang up.
Do you have the garlic sauce?
Sir.
Okay.
So we'll do a big pie, one of your big ones.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
I meant pizza.
I don't want to, I don't know if you guys serve pie,
but I meant pie.
That's what some people call pizza.
But so we'll get that. Okay. And then pepperoni, I don't know if you guys serve pie, but I meant pie, that's what some people call pizza. But so we'll get that, okay?
And then pepperoni, I think, on half of it.
And then the other half, let's do veggie,
because I'm trying to watch my triglycerides.
And so half veggie, half pepperoni.
Is that sound good?
And what veggies would you like?
What veggies? Miles, what veggies do you want?
You're getting a veggie pizza? Well, it's better for my heart. My doctor told me.
So we're not going to do a veggie pizza. No, Miles, what am I supposed to eat? I'm hungry too.
Well, you can have some of the garlic sauce. You guys have garlic sauce, right?
We got a salad. Oh, you're going to get a salad. Yeah, you have to do the garlic sauce, right? We got a salad. Oh, you're good at salads. Yes, we do have the garlic sauce.
Can you put the salad vegetables on the pizza?
Is that possible?
Because otherwise, no one's getting the salad and it's just going to go to waste.
Do you have a salad pizza?
I can do it for you.
We don't really have that, but I'll do it for you.
Thank you.
What's your name?
Yeah, of course.
Your name is Colin. Colin, Colin I'll do. Oh, thank you. What's your name? Yeah, of course. Your name is Colin.
Colin, Colin.
I wasn't on the phone initially.
Colin, thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
You guys have cinnamon sticks too.
Oh, yes.
OK, pizza pizza.
Thank you.
Boom.
There you go.
You defuse that situation.
I think you're, I think you're not
giving yourself enough.
Yeah, you're a pro, man.
Chase, you're a pro. I don't know. Thank you. I think you're not giving yourself enough. Yeah, you're a pro man. Chase you're a pro. I don't know
Thank I appreciate it, but you know the job is
Well rough the
Calling to your friends about what they want on the phone is it classic?
Yeah, number two. Don't do that. Yes. Well, it's gonna happen
I don't think we can just change human behavior. It's been millions of years. So yeah. And what else can what else should people?
Literally back in the caves, they were literally like they're cooking something over the fire.
And they'd be like, you want rabbit? Or do you want squirrel? They've been doing that forever.
And then what echo? Cause they're in a cave. We want rabbit. You want rabbit, right? You want squirrel? Which one's the rabbit again?
You have the, do you have the stew?
I'm so stewed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Funny the cave.
I'll do a squirrel with garlic sauce.
Garlic sauce.
Garlic sauce.
What's garlic sauce?
Sauce.
It hasn't been invented yet.
Two, two, two, two.
Hopefully someday we can just call someone
and they can bring us food.
It might be like this echo, echo, echo.
Imagine if this was a really long cave,
we could order it from the other side of the world,
or oh, they're older.
What's time a candle can do a stringing.
All right.
This is so far off the rails.
You have you have a world series to work.
Well, the boys drink and honestly, we haven't drank that much.
This is just our games over games over.
And this is the end of the game.
No, it was the bottom of the top of the fifth last we went there, dude.
Now, you've missed the game. Well, you know fifth last we went there, dude. All right.
Well, you know what they did.
They just switch.
They just switch games.
That's how it goes.
It's unbelievable skillet.
Well, Colin, maybe we'll call into your dominoes and order a pizza.
That's a good time.
I'm hungry for a pizza.
So Colin, Colin, I'm Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, for some pizza.
That's a very good song. It's a great song. As someone who is an artist and songwriter,
oh, did you know that Miles is a songwriter, Colin? He's like, he's a, yeah, he's only a writer. He's the, he's the right. He's the
Bernie actually saying. No, he's like Bernie Topin or Taupin, Elton John's writer. All right,
Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia. I'm getting hungry because of all the pizza talks. So maybe I'll call
into Domino's and order something after this. See you, Colin. Nice.
Appreciate you, Colin. Yeah, keep doing the good work over the words work at Domino's.
We'll see you soon.
Yeah, you too.
All right.
Watch for going up.
Yeah, we will.
We'll keep bellying up to your bartender.
But bye.
Uh, I mean, I'm literally good time with Colin.
Literally, that's how it goes every time it order pizza with a group of people.
Yeah. What do you want? I know I know wait get can I put it and then it's clear when it's like will you stop
just went on mute, you know, well that those are the nice people. Yeah, once last time you
ordered a late night drunk pizza, Charles. Um, and have you ever ordered a pizza and passed out before it got there?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, it's tough.
I was in Nashville actually doing it.
That was the last time.
I was in Upperyland.
Have you ever been to Upperyland?
I have.
I've been to the Grand Ole Opry before.
Have you been in Upperyland though?
The hotel.
That's like Upperyland.
I don't know if I've been in the hotel.
No, it is. I've, I can one know if I've been in the hotel. No, it is.
I've I can one up.
Yeah, I was in backstage.
The grand.
Big stage at the green.
What up?
Guess what, Miles?
It's really fucking cool.
Once in a lifetime,
that probably will happen three or four times, you know,
one day, one day, I'll be as cool as you.
All right.
Let's say another call.
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Welcome to the Belly to podcast
who we chit chat with today.
Hi, my name's Megan.
Hey, Megan.
How are you?
I am awesome.
How are you guys?
Good. Where are you calling in from?
I'm calling in from Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
Okay.
Lancaster.
PA. Is that, does that look from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Okay. Lane Kister. PA.
Is that, does that look like Lancaster?
Yes, it does.
If you're from out of town, most people do say Lancaster.
Okay, but it's Lancaster.
Yes.
Gotta get that Lancaster.
You know, Lancaster.
The old Lancaster.
Don't ask over Lancaster.
Yeah. Miles, do you ever, does anyone ever tell you their name
and then you forget it immediately?
Cause you're trying to pronounce Link Caster?
Yeah.
Okay, Megan, sorry, Megan, chase Louise.
This might, Megan from Link Keyster.
Why don't you belly up to the bar with us?
Tell us what's on your mind.
Awesome, we'll do.
So it's actually a weird thing today.
I'm calling in because I have this problem.
Yes.
Basically, one of my best friends is a guy.
And we hang out all the time.
And he's like one of my favorite people in the entire world.
Okay.
But the thing is, he's also my cousin.
So we have been friends for years.
We went through a stage where people were like,
they're dating and then we told everyone,
like, no, we're cousins, we're not dating.
Uh-huh.
But we literally go everywhere together
and hang out all the time and now people are saying,
oh, they're related, but are you dating?
So the question is, how do I keep my best guy friend, but also get out of this crazy
situation?
Okay, okay.
Well, yeah, you want to jump in first?
Lots of impact.
There is a lot to impact.
Does he think you're dating?
No. You paused way too long, Megan.
That was not the delay on the phone.
No.
She paused.
No.
Megan, does he, does he, does he,
does he for sure not think you're date?
Does he for sure not think you're dating?
He 100% does not think we're dating.
He says if we see each other,
it's family reunion.
That's too close. And he also says something about he doesn't want to have children with
web feet.
He does it. Okay. Would you get what was the last he doesn't want to have children with
web feet? I mean, that is, I mean, really up there with why you don't want to day your
cousin. I should decide. I'll put that out there. Megan, how long have you been seeing your cousin for it?
We've been friends probably for the last like,
maybe eight years?
So you can see our problem with this, Megan.
Okay, so hold on. He's been your cousin your whole life.
Yeah, that's right.
Now they're just friends in the last eight years,
what happened before that?
Well, we didn't know each other.
He's like my second cousin, like,
like, I think the second I've heard, cousin.
Oh, so now we went from being first cousin
to second or third, which means legally.
And first cousin's to kissing cousin.
Yeah, I'm seeing these, I'm seeing these webs dissipate now as the
bloodline gets farther and farther away. So what you got one web told, that's not that
big deal. Help you swim better. Yeah. Just ask any frog. Yeah. You know, frogs, frogs
cousins, you know, fornicate all the time. That's why they're such great swimmers. Yeah.
It's not a, it's such a bad thing. Yeah. So Megan, oh, go ahead, Miles.
Well, I was going to say what? What do you? Why do you think
everyone else thinks that you guys are dating now, not just like
spending time together? Do like once in a while, you guys like
when you are departing from each other, you hold on to a hug
for just a second too long. Is things like that that are happening or what?
I like never we never hug. We don't hold hands. We don't look like my best guy friend.
It's a very least like he is really funny. So I laugh at everything he said.
When he talks like I'm paying attention to what he says
But aside from that like I literally don't do anything Megan when he talks to you do you look him in the eyes what I was thinking
Yeah, oh
What color are they
They're like a greenish blue. Oh Charlie what color am I eyes? Oh?
Well, they're beautiful brown. Okay, actually, I didn't help our cause. Not while miles are different. Megan, let me ask you this. What's
the name of your B.F. Salash? Cause. His name is Dan. Dan. So let's say in this world,
Dan. Dan. So let's say in this world, let's say there's a world where you and Dan aren't
four to five thousand once removed. Would you consider dating him?
You know he listens to this podcast right? She didn't know. She didn't know. Wow. Okay. So the No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm a guy that really. Megan, here's what I want. This is how that should have gone. Charlie ask it again. I'll be you.
I'll be Megan.
You be Charlie.
Megan, if Dan wasn't your cousin, would you date him?
No.
Okay.
See?
That's how that should have gone, Megan.
But now let's hear your explanation.
I'm very curious.
This is my explanation.
So people always say that you should marry your best friend.
All right.
So if I found the guy that was just like Dan, but not Dan, I would marry him in a heartbeat.
Oh, wow.
You guys are going to have some webfootish children.
I'm telling you this right now.
You guys have one of those things going where it's like if you guys are both still single at 45,
you're just going to get married and have web feet kids or what?
Is that a deal you guys have?
Is Dan attractive?
Dan attractive. No. Oh wait, does he see how she went up with that? No?
So he's not attractive. He listens to podcasts and your ton of things. Dan's a rickety, but Megan thinks you're ugly.
Is that your final answer, Megan?
OK, he is, I like he is thinking attractive.
He's my cousin.
Yeah, I know.
OK, I'll just describe him and we'll
determine if he's good looking.
Yeah, go ahead, describe your best friend, Dan.
OK, he has brown hair, a blueish green eye. He has a beard.
Okay. What else?
He's fairly athletic.
Okay, what else?
That's about it. How are his calves?
I couldn't tell you. Okay. Have you seen them when they showed up?
No, never lie. Never know the lake with Dan
No, actually not okay. That's good. Okay. Yeah, I mean that's the appropriate way to describe your cousin
Yeah, that's very cousin. You know bringing bring it back here. Yeah, Megan, I'm going to learn a little bit. See, actually, what we're doing here,
Charlie, is we're training her how to answer questions to not let people on the, you know,
that's really it, Megan, like neither Miles nor I actually think you're fornicating with
your cousin, Dan, but what we want to do is make it so other people don't think that.
So we're trying to weed out the bad habits right now. Exactly. So do it. Perfect. Yeah. Okay. So here's the training.
Charlie asked a question about Dan again. Okay. Does he have a nice package?
Megan come on again. That was like 20 seconds.
I did not.
Well, I I've meant like now I'm kind of curious if he does.
Yeah.
But sometimes you can tell like if there's certain kinds of pants or something,
the pleats, how the pleat pleated, pleated pants.
How do the, yeah, what size are his hands?
I don't know.
Okay, Megan, we're gonna, we're gonna, sorry, that was a joke.
We're gonna bring this back to serious territory.
So you have big socks.
Megan, how old are you guys?
I am 23, almost 24 and he's 25.
An older man.
Okay. Oh wow.
Okay, and is he, has he been romantical
with anybody else in his life,
in the past eight years? Does he have a girlfriend? How'd that make you feel? Not right now.
It was fine because we're all like we are always like we've been friends. Yeah. Now,
here's a question. This is a genuine question because I feel like this happens sometimes.
Does his past girlfriend seem to have any concern
with how close you and Dan are?
Well, we weren't as close when they were dating.
Did you break up that relationship?
That was not very much info, Megan.
Definitely not.
Okay.
All right.
What ended the relationship just part of ways or?
Yeah, yeah, they just kind of part of ways.
Okay.
And then you got closer after that.
Yeah, because I think it's a combination of like us both
like being older and like most of the people in Pennsylvania
in Lancaster, getting married by the time they're like 20 or 21.
Oh, that's why we like that's why we hang out and we like go like we literally like we'll
go to like different events together because we're the only single people left.
Okay here I got a good solution for you can maybe this part of your training. So his name is no longer Dan.
His name is now my cousin, not boyfriend, Dan.
So every time you address him, just go, oh look who's here.
My cousin, not boyfriend, Dan is over there.
And then if you do that enough times,
I mean, people have to think that you're not your boyfriend.
You keep telling them they're not.
Sounds a little guilty to me, Miles.
Sounds, I don't know if that's the best advice.
We're just calling cousin Dan.
Cousin Dan, yeah, that's the other thing.
Megan, that's what's tripping me up a little on this.
And I'm sorry about the package line.
I want to back it up and just apologize for that.
Now put her in a forward and go.
You're talking about, you say we've been friends for eight years.
We've been friends.
You guys have been cousins and you're still cousins
and you're always cousins.
You do said my cousin, Dan, all the time
instead of like my friend.
You know what I, it's the BF talk.
The best friend talk is what's getting in trouble.
Here's the thing is like, we've been cousins forever, but honestly, he has siblings that I don't even know.
They're that far removed cousin, if that makes sense.
So I do think of him more as a friend,
because I genuinely don't even know all who siblings make.
Got it.
Okay.
I think you're going to have to put your politician hat on and just start calling them
cousin Dan.
That's what it sounds like.
Just to play devil's advocate, Megan, can you describe to me the family tree of how
Dan relates to you?
Can you walk us through that?
So your parents and just walk me through Dan, okay?
Yeah, so let's see, his grandpa would be my like
great, great uncle.
Oh, kids, this is gonna be complicated.
Let's start with who is related on your mom or dad side?
My mom side.
Okay, and this is your mom's cousin's kid?
No, yeah. Yes, I think so. But like,
wait, can we be like her? I forget. It's like all for generation or something. I don't know.
I think you guys might be far enough apart. Yeah, go ahead and go after it. Are you seeing anyone?
Yeah, just get after it. Megan, are you seeing anyone right now? No, no, and part of me think if I just actually started dating someone,
people would at least stop talking about me and Dan.
Well, do you think how do you think Dan would?
That's a, that's a hell of a Tinder profile.
Looking for someone to date so everyone thinks I'm not dating my cousin, Dan.
Megan, how do you think Dan would feel if you start dating someone else?
He would be like, I think he would be like so hurt by it probably.
You have to go find another friend.
Oh my god.
Wow.
I'm out of Megan.
I I've never met I have a man, but I've never met, I have a mania,
but I've never talked to someone, two people so in love.
You two just need to get rid of the cousin talk.
You're so far away.
Just, yeah.
You know, I mean, this is,
I mean, I, I can cut the sexual attention
with a butter knife on this phone call between you and Dan.
I can just feel it, Megan.
Thank you.
Is it not the solution I was looking for?
This.
No.
Well, I know what the truth hurts sometimes.
And honestly, Megan, I think you are looking for this solution.
I just think you need two fellas sitting at a bar to tell you that it's going to be okay.
And I think it is going to be okay. And I think it is going
to be okay if you date your cousin. And honestly, it miles said, we got some call. Yeah, we
got to stop saying cousin. Say, uh, fourth cousin twice removed. And that's just a friend.
So calm friend. Don't calm cousin and soon that friend might be lover. Yeah. And then
soon it might be husband, father of your child. Okay. Okay. Well, I mean, we were giving the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of
the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of the love of to know that. Never watch the smile and his cheese curds from X
of my nine years ago. Never watch Game of Thrones before. Yeah,
it's totally cool. It's called keeping the bloodline pure.
Yeah. And you guys have to looted it enough. Okay. So start
start bringing that purity back. You know,
Oh, this could never happen. Okay, but but Megan joking. I'm not miles. I'm dead serious.
Megan, would it be the worst thing in the world if you guys were together?
Probably. Okay. Yeah, I think your answer.
That's the other thing about living in Lancaster is that like everybody's related
to everybody. It's a big world, Megan, it's a big old world. Everybody knows everybody's
business. So maybe I should just move. Yeah. Yeah. You and Dan run away together. Where
do you guys want to go Hawaii? Yeah. Start fresh in Florida. No one will know that you're
cousin. And there's so many cousins married in Florida.
I mean, that's the capital of cousins married cousins.
That are Alabama.
Yeah.
Do we help you out today?
Oh, not really at all, but are you mad at us?
Are you mad at us?
No.
No.
No.
And the best part is is Dan's the one that told me to start listening to this podcast.
Oh, that sounds like Dan.
If I know Dan, like I think I do, he would be like, hey, that's classic Dan.
Have Dan give us a shout.
Hey, Megan, quick question about Dan scale one to 10, like if an average gal saw him on
the street, what would they give him?
Scale one to 10.
He's going to listen to this podcast.
No, we know. It's simple question one to 10.
Oh, I don't know. I feel like it's an answer that question.
You know, the answer.
I started to learn though. My else, I'm sorry. I'm the lawyer here.
Just one or zero.
Do not answer that. Do not answer that for the first
time in this podcast. Go ahead. Maybe I could just find Dan a girlfriend that I could
deal with the pain of losing a friend. And then it would be okay. That's the bravest
thing I think you've said on this phone call, Megan. See, look how much you've grown
on this call already.
It's all because of you guys.
You know what, that means a lot. That really does really puts in perspective for Charlie and I of why we do this podcast,
bringing cousins together, but also pushing them apart.
Megan, when you and Dan inevitably get married, can I be the guy who marries you?
when you and Dan inevitably get married, can I be the guy who marries you?
Can I appreciate it?
In any universe that would happen, 100%.
She said yes.
She said yes.
No, I think Dan the call and a real note here,
I think you just gotta start calling them cousin Dan
all the time.
If you just call them cousin Dan.
Hey, get cousin Dan a beer. He's over here.
Hey, I'm going over to cousin Dan's house. If you just keep that going, I think you'll start to
lose a little bit of that stigma. Stop. I want to suggest one more thing before we let you go,
Megan. There are, there, okay, there are these things like 23 and me okay both of you get your DNA tested make sure
That you're actually
Cuz it's because if you're not you could have the man of your dreams right in front of you
It's actually great and then and 23 and me is not even a sponsor in this podcast. We're just telling you to do that. Yeah, and
I mean think about that. What if you guys okay Megan, let's just roleplay with me here for a second
Let's say you both do the 23 of me and as it turns out you're not related at all like someone's
You know the mom on the other side. Oh, it's a step kid, you know
Yeah, and not even the mom like several generations back like that mom, you know, and the mailman, you know
And so there's no bloodline at all to you in that scenario. Would you
Get together with Dan in a frisky kind of way
No, okay, good answer
Megan look how much you passed. Yeah, it took us this song, but you officially, I think we're, yep, I think you're ready to take on the world with them.
Yeah, I feel like I am too. I feel empowered. Yeah, that's exactly how you should feel
listening to the bell. It up podcast, found where all podcasts can be found. Oh, you can
sit there. Go ahead. Megan, when you said nope, did you believe that? Yeah, all right, all right, she's ready. She is ready to
end this call. She also would like to throw out there that we
in no way shape or form. We are an anti-incess podcast. I just
wanted to make everyone know that. I feel like I had to it's true.
It was getting a little incesty there. And I want to just
squash that.
We are an anti incest podcast.
Yes.
Charlie just had to throw that out there.
Yep.
I agree with that.
And Megan, did I offend you at all in my line of questioning?
No, not at all.
I think you guys are hilarious.
OK.
All right.
Well, if I did or you're sleeping tonight,
and you know, some bothers you I do apologize on that
But just roll over and tell Dan. It's all gonna be okay
It's all right Megan. I had to you're so much fun. Thanks for calling in. Yeah, this is great
Thanks for having me. You have to tell cousin Dan to call in and tell them to say that it's cousin Dan.
And we'll know. Yeah, yeah, if he says cousin Dan,
he's coming on high.
Yeah, we're going to be filming the next few days.
So between now and next couple days, have them call in.
OK, sounds good.
We'll do.
All right.
Watch for deer and cousins.
Yeah, tell your folks I said hi.
OK, tell Dan we said hi. Okay, tell Dan.
We said hi.
Yep, sounds good.
Bye, Megan.
What happened to you?
What do you mean?
Usually I'm the one being a absolute dip shit.
I could have I could smell chum in the water.
I wanted to get to the truth.
I'm my journalist to go over.
Yeah, I could tell there was some sexual tension going on there. I know. I just had to get to the truth. My journalist took over. Yeah, I could tell there was some sexual tension going on there.
I know.
I just had to get to the bottom.
I didn't want to say it, but I had to, you know.
Okay.
Do you think I was aggressive?
Do you think she was mad upset with me?
No, I think that you, I mean, at the start of the call,
she was wishy-washy.
But by the end, no, no, no denied, denied, denied.
Right.
We got her where we needed her to be. cleaned it up. Yeah, yeah, 100%
So Dan
You got a keeper explain in to do
Now before we get to this next call miles, we just keep adding people we just keep adding people
We've got will tune in
One half of the tune into doing podcast, okay, Will, how you feeling?
Oh, it always mics not working.
It's working, it's working.
Charlie, we got it.
We got it.
We got it.
Yeah.
Classic move now, listen, Will, to start this off
and all of you, Miles, AJ, we are going to try this
is from Smugglers.
This is some horse radish that we got here at Lenny's
tap that they gave us from it's cold.
So they gave it from their horse radish seller down there.
And this is some royal Bohemian horse radish.
OK, and it's from Eagle River.
OK, smugglers up there in Eagle River.
So, hey, can I have a pretzel?
Oh, that's a good one.
Yeah, I'm going pretzel this year.
I'm not putting my finger in there.
I mean, I would if you guys were looking.
But, all right, so everybody dip in there.
Now, horse radish, Wisconsin is famous for its horse radish.
It's one of the main exports.
Well, not the main export, but we're a big horse radish producer here.
Big, big.
A lot of folks don't know this.
That's gonna kill me. And this stuff, it will just it usually opens the yup right on the inside of the nostrils
in the sinuses. So if you ever have trouble with that. All right. Cheers.
Is there a toast to you? This is your old radish? Yeah. Uh, uh, if it's a radish,
oh, he's smell it. Oh my god. This is gonna gonna this is gonna be fine. She's looking at me like you got way too much on there. Oh, we're gonna be fine
If it's a radish call or okay Oh
My gosh
I just saw Jesus
Eyes of water like crazy
Be cool be cool be cool. Oh, it's fine. I'm crying. I'm not crying. You're crying. Yeah, I'm crying. Look at this
Sit here
Shit who gave us that? Well, yeah, smugglers can go.
That was a little.
Well, why put, why put the cap on that?
That was good.
I want a little more.
We have some more.
We have some more.
Dude, it's just hit you in the face.
Oh my God.
That was a really second time.
Yeah.
Wow, that's not.
Yeah, now my mouse used to it.
It'll go down easy now, right?
That dude, you should always be suspicious of horse radish
that comes in a little tincture jar.
I shouldn't know him right there.
I could tell by every, everyone else has been
mining their own business for a while.
I got quiet.
And then I got quiet and I could see everyone's head
turn and watching.
That was, that was. You know what? Actually, it felt good to cry. And I could see everyone's head turn and watching
That was you know what actually it felt good to cry I haven't got a good crying
Not an overly emotional guy so anything I can do to cry it's good
Fast forward 10 minutes you just following it You're on all your mobs. Don't feel it.
My dad was mean to me as a kid. I'm crying, but it's like, wow,
I don't see you eat anymore of that.
Right now he's asking the Collins for advice.
No, yeah.
He calls me.
You know, miles in the bathroom.
Yeah.
No, Anne's going to be like, wow, you cry for horse radish,
but you don't cry for me. Take's like the Midwest version of Hot Ones.
Yeah, I know.
That would be fun to do a horse radish.
I'm actually really glad that I, you know,
I picked up that it was gonna be hot,
but I'm glad I didn't know too far in advance
because I think I would have psyched myself out.
It was like smiling salts.
If I would have known it, it would have been hot.
I probably wouldn't need it.
You wouldn't know. Oh, man. Why I'm thinking, am I just what I'm going to do?
I'm like, I've had horse radish before. Yeah, I had to. I mean, I was pretty.
He's over there like, no. I'm surprised she warned you, you know.
I guess what before we hop on this call, tell me, tell us about.
Tell us about. Tell us about.
A little bad now, don't you? Yeah. That was not so.
I'm good. I got this tippy cow.
The tippy cow, yeah.
Rock, mint, fantastic.
It's real Wisconsin milk in that, so yeah.
All right.
Guys, toast that climp is gonna be funny.
Yeah, that'll be a good clip.
All of us instantly.
I was heard.
I was heard.
Yeah, that hit all like parts of the taste pal. I was about to hit the door. I'm hurt. I was hurt. Yeah. That hit all like parts of the taste pal.
I was about to hit the door.
I was about to hit the door.
I'm done.
There was a man spotted running from the bar.
I think he was crying.
Running people over.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Running a car over.
That's what you should take something before the game.
You're son.
You're son.
Every time we get like a goal I'm sitting on like you know take something before the game. You're son. You're son. Every time we get like a goal on it and like,
you know, just hand me the horse. Yeah. Give me a hand. Give me
a hand. Come out on their fingers. You snored it, you know, I
run through a while. I run through everybody. That might not be
a bad idea. Yeah. I want to have to league test for this.
They're gonna start after this.
Oh, wait, he's taking horse tranquilizer.
Oh, no, no, no, horse radish.
Oh, okay.
We need to look into this foreign substance.
Oh, geez, we, I mean, the smelling salts ain't got nothing on that.
I don't think.
Oh, my God. No, it does have the tingle on the back of the brain like they got though. I tell you what yeah, I'm are you guys feeling that
Glad it's not just me. Yeah, well welcome to the belly to podcast to where we talking to today
Hey, this is Jake from South Dakota. Jake from South Dakota.
How you doing, Jake?
Oh, not too bad. Oh, good.
Oh, it's Jake.
I'm actually out out road hunting for ditch chickens right now.
And as soon as you guys answer the phone,
there's five of them in the road in front of the course.
Put the phone down.
Go listen, listen.
All right right hang on
all right I need two more for a limit
All right, thanks for calling in
Holy shit, do you actually nail him?
He's pulling it up right now. Is he a runner? Did you hit him square? No, I got him. One shot. We're good.
All right. We heard it. Yeah. That was can't pick that. Did the rest of them fly away?
Are they still waiting? Are they still waiting? Yeah, they got into the trees quickly.
Okay. Okay. So you're not in Sioux Falls, then?
No, no, where you at?
At hunting.
East Central about hour and a half from Sioux Falls.
Oh, sure.
Okay.
I was just out there.
I was out over in Howard Madison area.
Kind of.
Oh, I was just north of. North at Howard Madison, kind of a. Oh, I was just north of North
the Howard Madison, like 40 minutes.
Okay.
Oh, God.
Well, uh, yeah, so I mean,
where are you going to do with that
fessant? What's your limit?
Why don't you belly up to the
bar with us? Tell us what's on
your mind. Yeah.
So first of all, I have a
buy cell trade.
I like to get in. Is it a fessant? I sell a fessant. No, I don a bicell trade. I like to get in.
Is it a fessan?
Nice.
I don't think you want this one.
He's kind of close.
OK.
All right.
Nice humble brag that he's a sharp shooter.
No, he said he was kind of close.
So I think you blast.
He might be a little mangle.
Yeah.
We blew him all apart.
It's not good eating as what he's saying.
I am shooting a monster. Oh, no. Oh, we blew him all apart. It's not good eating as what he's saying. I am shooting a monster, though.
Oh, yeah.
There it is.
There you go.
Well, straight as barrels and all the land.
Of course, you nailed them.
Absolutely.
So what are you trying to sell a trader by?
Yeah.
So I'm actually looking to buy.
Just think of what you shoot that damper. You're so casual. I love it. to buy. I'm just thinking. I'm just shooting that damper.
You're so casual, I love it.
So casual, okay.
What are you looking to buy?
I'm looking for, it's gonna have to be somebody from IOI.
I think one of the, the bush light,
like the 56 can cases like with the corn can in them.
Oh yeah.
The actual corncand case,
if somebody finds me a full one of them
that is full of $56,
and I will pay $200 for it.
$200, no, that's not full.
Look on now.
You didn't save one for posterity, say?
No.
$200 for $56, which Just just for the nostalgia factor. Yeah, I mean, that's
a, I mean, that's $200. Well spent if you ask me. Yeah, why don't why don't you take a
picture of yourself and and hold in your, your, your, your, your fes in there. And then we'll
put it up on the belly, up a Twitter and we'll say what you're looking for and how
much you're willing to pay.
Well, yeah, in addition to this, in addition to this, you send it over to the Twitter page
or the Instagram, we'll put it up there.
That way it's official to 200 bucks.
And then that way people can give us your tag and we'll tag you that way they can contact
you direct.
And we're going to get you those 50 was it.
How many?
I got to figure out.
Oh, you do Instagram.
Instagram.
It doesn't matter.
Just some way to contact you.
So we're not giving.
All right.
Yeah.
So Twitter, it's at all lowercase Jacob, like beer.
Okay.
Why did you get that handle? That's really, that's like a. Okay. Why did you get that handle? That's like a pretty common. I don't really know how I got that handle either. You'd think it would be taken, but that's pretty good. So at Jacob
likes beer all the more case, that's the guy to hit up. I like how you're not like fully committed
to the loves. You know, it's just I got like it. I like it here.
All right. Love is really really strong word, but it probably could be love. Yeah. Yeah.
But you're like it, we said earlier, you're such a nonchalant guy. There's no way you're going to profess your love. You just like it. So you're going to buy that now for 200 bucks. Would
you trade anything for it? You got anything that might be worth the trade?
I have a fesiton out of trade. Yeah, you have. But no, probably not. I will just buy it. And if
somebody, if somebody still has the, the empty case, like just the cardboard, I'll buy that too,
but probably for less. How much less? That is to be determined.
Okay, all right.
We'll see the condition of the cardboard.
I respect that.
Right, right.
Whether it's been stapled to a garage wall or not yet.
Yeah, vice versa.
Oh, well, this was a great call.
It's unbelievable.
You got anything else you're looking for?
Or even some you want to sell
or anything else, trade, nothing before we some you want to sell or anything else trade
nothing before we all let you get back advice we can do it all here.
The only other thing is I would say maybe it doesn't have to be today but I think sometime
on the podcast you guys need to sit down and really crunch out the borders of the Midwest.
You know what is and isn't included in the Midwest geographically.
Okay.
Well, I think I feel like there's some other states, you know, that try to claim that they're
Midwestern and stuff, but they really just don't fit.
What states?
What states?
Because we've had this conversation on this podcast before.
What do you think, what states in the Midwest, do you think don't fit?
I could make a strong argument that maybe the Southern half of Missouri
shouldn't really be included in the Midwest.
Everybody, most of Missouri.
Everybody likes to crap on Missouri.
Yeah, well, I think it's retaliation
for everyone crappin' on Kansas
with other time, remember?
That's true, that's true.
Okay, what else do you have other states?
Well, I would say like Michigan is like a toss up for me, you know, like Michigan is pretty far east compared to the majority of the country
You know within the eastern half of the country. What do you think about a hot?
Ohio doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned. Oh my my God. Okay, you cannot be given away these states.
We need Michigan.
Oh, Michigan has Motown.
You want to give away Motown to the East Coast?
We can give away the Eastern states
and we could add a little bit to the Western half,
you know, like we could throw in like even a little bit
of Wyoming and Montana in there, you know,
the flat parts of those.
I feel like they're probably a little bit of them. So now you're you know, the flat parts of those. I feel like they're probably pretty.
Little bit of them.
So now you're, I mean, I'm pretty on board with that part.
I mean, look, I'd be down to a choir, sure, but I just, I'm not trying.
You can't get rid of Michigan.
I'm going to say it because Michigan, you know, like, go high.
Sometimes you're like, it's like the, uh, bratty stepchild once in a while.
You know, like, right, right.
They're ready to hit it. Idy stepchild once in a while, you know, I can, right, right.
The red headed that child that needs to be eating once in a while.
No, no, I didn't say that.
You said that.
I didn't say that.
Oh, okay.
Um, but, you know, we, it's still family, you know, yeah.
Plus we are already outnumbered by the whole rest of the country.
We can't just be given away parts of the Midwest.
Yeah, we got to care and see though there though, there's more mosfers and more ammunition, but in between
these borders and the rest of the country.
Now launching a war.
Yeah, what are we doing?
Let's keep the ammunition in the fessence, okay?
The thing is, is we need to hold strong here, because look, I, my sister is in Detroit. Okay. If we lose her,
she's never coming back for Thanksgiving again. Okay. You know, now you're breaking the
parents' family. You right. He hasn't given. He hasn't given. Yeah. He is. Wow. Well,
well, I now get why you blasted that. He's not even out there to get some good. He's
just doesn't give a shit. Yeah. Well, look, on this podcast, we're going to hold that
we need all the Midwest states. We'll take a little bit of Montana Wyoming too. I'll take
that. Sure. Yeah. And then like I assume all of Nebraska and then we could even argue
for, for, you know, like some of Kansas, I'd be okay with.. And then like the flat part of Colorado to, you know, but once you get
into the mountains with all the hippies and stuff, then I think you got to cut it off.
Right up to Denver. Right up to the Denver airport and then no further. Yep. Right. Yeah.
That makes sense. Oh, I know, I'm on board with that. Okay. It was flat part of Colorado,
flat part of Wyoming, flat part of Montana.
Who goes to Colorado and says, I just want the flat part?
You know, the funny part is that recently I went on my honeymoon in Colorado up in the
mountains, up a month ago, and I enjoyed the flat part of the drive back much better.
Well, I'm Midwest guy, I feel really are really are.
It's easier driving.
Talking on the phone shooting fesit.
I mean, you just sound like a Midwest guy throwing through.
You just got to be a multitasker out here.
Yeah, yeah, you do.
That's why me and Charlie never get any birds.
It's because we're too busy talking.
We're not busy.
We can't multitask.
So yeah, can you legally? By the the way can you legally shoot birds from from your car and South Dakota
is that just like they look not from the car but you can we did get out of the car
it did I did get out of the car yeah I had the door cracked open early yeah
car. Yeah. I had the door cracked open early. Yeah. We're just doing that to make sure. Yeah. Just just to check our legal liability out there. Correct. You shot that, Fesit. Out of your car.
Correct. No, Negatory. What? No, sorry. You were out of your car. Are you sure to incriminate me? No, we're trying to decriminate you. Just help us.
Okay. Okay. You were not in your car outside. Yes. That's what I meant to say. Right. I didn't
meant mean to say that you shot it out of your car. You know, right. Out of your car, when you
shot it, yes. Right. Right. Yeah. That was not a good question by me. I apologize for that one.
Didn't think that one all the way through. Well, listen, Jake, we really hope we can get, yeah,
yeah, we hope you get your limit. We hope you get your box of beer.
I will. I'll also make sure to send in a picture. Yeah, Twitter page. Do that. We will,
we'll hook it up. We want only success stories here. Okay.
Gotcha. All right, man. Well, thanks for calling in. Good luck hunting.
Yeah, thanks. Have a good one, guys. You do, but bye.
You can't make that up.
You can.
Oh, of course, you and you guys call on.
I thought he was, you know, I thought he was just doing it for like a bit.
I thought he was too.
And, and no, I'm glad we pushed him.
Although he could have just got down his car and shot him around.
Yeah.
I, Hey, comedically it worked.
Well, I want to believe, I want to believe that he shot a fesson.
You want to believe Jake, the great.
He was great, man.
He was unbelievable.
I wish people would stop trying to get rid of states in the Midwest, though.
What is the deal with that?
I don't know just let's
not realize that we need strength in numbers. We need to keep
Bringing in more. Yeah, people have been ignoring the Midwest for years. Why would we give them a glass to ignore?
You know, that makes sense. Well, hopefully we can keep pushing that forward. Yeah, we got to hold the line
Hold the line. Well, we got to push the line into Colorado.
Well, man, that's true.
I just want some flat part of Colorado.
It's classic.
That's a South Dakota guy right there.
I'm telling you, South Dakota guys like the flat land.
They do.
I was talking to Taylor about that.
I'm a big guy. I don't
mean, I'd say this all the time on our other podcast. You met your radio founder. All
podcasts can be found.
Cripes guest is great too. I just I'm a guy who's meant for flat ground.
Okay. I I coming from the what we got flat. We got hills.
You're kind of more of a you're from Milwaukee area. Yeah, I got water there. I got
a sea guy. Yeah, I'm a seaman. No, I just am. I like looking out at water. I like the hills. I
like the trees. You know, that's just what I prefer. No, no judgment against people. But he's
one of the fellas who just, I guess like you likes that, that have flat land. And by the way, sunsets
in South Dakota, holy smokes in North Dakota too. Iowa, Iowa, Nebraska, Nebraska.
So far, it's a Wisconsin. You're more in the rust belt, aren't you though? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I'm in the anyways. Anyways, that was good. Hello. Welcome to the belly to podcast. Who are we talking to today?
Hi, it's Carlean. Hey Carlean. How are you?
I'm doing pretty good. How about you guys?
Fantastic. Honestly. Yeah, where are you calling from? Well, that's great.
Fantastic honestly. Yeah, where are you calling from? Well, that's great. I'm actually currently in Florida. I decided to do an impromptu trip down here for almost two months. Oh, whoa, I want a good job. Where do you work?
I'm a geologist, I currently live in North Carolina, but I put my house up for sale.
And my uncle's had an extra house
that they couldn't get out of a lease
and they bought a home themselves.
And I was like, hey, can I just come down
and work from Florida?
And they're like, yeah, come on down.
That's awesome.
Packed in two hours and drove the 10 and a half hours.
Wow.
Wow.
I'm very curious. You said you are a geologist.
I have no idea truly what that means. Can you explain to me what a geologist does?
That's like explaining what an engineer does. I'm just kidding. It's like you can have different
specialties like. Roasting. Roasting. Roasting. Ro that. What kind of geologists are you then?
So I just engineering geologists.
So I work a lot with the dams and water and mines and earthquake.
Well, damn.
You work on some pretty cool stuff. What is your favorite part of the damn?
The favorite part of the damn I guess the water at hole or if you're talking about the structural maybe the spillway
Yeah, I'm a big spillway as guy as well. I can concur with that. What about you Charlie?
What's your favorite part of the damn my favorite part of the damn is the little home on top of it that someone lives in and decides
when the water come in and when the water go with. I always wanted to live in a damn home.
I've been living in a damn apartment for too long. It's time for me to move on up.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more
about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it.
I'm going to be a little bit more about it. I'm going to be a little bit more about it. I'm going to be a little bit more about it. I'm going to be a lot of work to get their little homes going. So that was basically like, oh, it's cute.
You're like, that's cute what they do.
But what I do is I get shit done.
Have you ever seen Hoover damn?
To you.
That is the monster damn.
How do you feel?
How do you feel about my take that I had on another podcast called
You Betcha Radio, where you can find where I'll podcast me found. I take that I had on another podcast called you bet you're ready
where you can find where I'll podcast me found?
I said that I don't really get all the hoopla with the Hoover Dam because basically it's
just a bunch of concrete but vertical instead of laying flat.
How do you feel about that?
From a geological standpoint, how do you feel about that?
Man, I feel like we're gonna get a lot of controversy
on this topic, but I'm here for it.
We love controversy.
I think the wow factor, yeah, all about it.
Like the Hoover Dam is kind of cool
because of the engineering techniques
that went behind it.
I mean, they didn't have a lot of tools
and big equipment to build it.
And you have people on ropes that literally were hanging
from ropes and just like a piece of wood.
And it's just kind of cool.
You think of it in that point of view.
That definitely changed my perspective.
I know, it's like I'm looking, I'm like, wow.
That's a lot of concrete that's vertical
that was built by people on swings.
Now it's completely changed. Yeah. I now want to watch a documentary on the
making of the Hooverdale. How many people are buried in the Hoover Dam? Oh,
yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's what we lost another awesome in the mixer.
Was it built by the mob?
was it built by the mob?
Well, you guys, so I was on the rope team and I actually,
like went down this over damn and you know how much stuff people throw over that. I think I could be collected as a whole like $400 worth of quarters one day.
Time out.
Those are people's wishes.
Yeah, they're not going to come true. Oh my
God. How does it feel to be someone profiting off of your little children's hopes and dreams
and wishes? Well, they may mind dreams true with all the beer I consume. You know how to pull the string. And I thought for other people.
Right.
Now, you have to back this, back this damn boat up.
So hold on, you've worked on Hoover Dam.
Yeah, so I was inspecting all the rocks
slides that are on either side of the dam.
So you know, they have rocks.
I'm down in the visitor center.
Like there's a, I haven't been there.
There's a rock slide.
You can slide down it.
No, come on, sorry, Lee rock fall.
So we're just protecting your little noggin.
Oh, there's no falling rock.
Oh, so there's no falling rock.
I'm not going to lie.
You're going to have to talk to us like we're eight.
She already is. Did you get how she said? No, it's like we're five. She's like she's are basically
our babysitter right now. Love it. Yeah, that's sorry. We're gonna try and smarten up for you.
Wow. You guys are doing great. So how do you collect all those coins?
Did you just pull them up or is there a little net there like on the golf course when
they have a net on the bottom of the pond to bring up all the golf balls?
How do you get all those quarters?
Well, when you're, so we were on the, uh, but so the rock face on either side of the
dam and like rocks are just in the crevices are like laying on top of the rock. So as you're repelling down, you're just collecting them and putting them in
a pocket. I'm probably going to get in trouble for collecting everyone's coins.
That's because we call this the old backpedal Charlie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're really repelling out of this one. Oh, that's how she's gonna put kids through college.
It was.
Yeah, well, the only way you can get the only way you can absolve yourself from stealing
all these people's wishes is by donating that money to make a wish.
Yeah, so
If you don't okay, okay, yeah, so you're gonna live with that. Okay. Yeah
All right, yeah, thank you. I have that. I have a heavy heart now. I'm gonna have to pay it up back
Heavy hearts just make you stronger
All right, Charlie. I think I think we've asked our questions. She called
in. She was looking for some advice potentially. I forgot. Why don't you belly up to the bar
with your pocket full of quarters and tell us what's on your mind. Beers are on you.
What's going on? That's totally fine. I'll buy beers all night. So I need advice and this is also going to help my
sister-in-law. So anytime I'm home and you know you're around family and of course the parents.
So I'm single and I've for the last 17 years have been giving crap about not
you know giving grandbabies or hey Kar, Kar, when are you gonna have babies?
How the heck do you stop people from asking that question?
Do I need to make a shirt?
Walk around with it on.
What would they show you?
What would they show you?
What does the shirt say?
That's what I need, that's what I need advice.
What should I put on the shirt?
They just said.
They just said 1000 prime babies.
It, no, it just says, I only have sex for fun fun not babies. That's what the shirts would say. I'm I'm a person. Not a baby maker. Yeah.
There you go.
There's no bun in the oven ever. Yeah. Yeah.
See and let's the t-shirt do all the talking. That's what I need. Yeah. I'm so okay. Yeah, it seems to be honestly
Did they give up on the marriage thing because it sounds like they skipped over? Yeah
Mary to now they're just have given up on the marriage thing
Unless you are you know, she said she's single
Yeah, they've given up on that part and they just have gone straight to we don't even care how you do it just get us a baby or what?
Yeah, everyone just wants the grandbabies or whatever it is and yeah, get over the marriage. It's not about my happiness
It's about probably just giving up these little twerk for them to babysit once in a while and give them back
Yeah, I don't know. I mean is there a rent a kid type of situation you can find that just they're
looking down the sound like I was looking for a kid to hang out with.
Well, so I'm the first born and my brothers eight years younger than me.
So they got married two years ago.
It's always like, oh, this is excellent.
The pressure is off me.
Now it's all on him and his wife.
But they haven't really given up on me. But I was hoping that would like leave some slack. So,
well, do you want to have kids?
I don't know. I'm what you call, you know, just probably Jerry Atric eggs in there now. 37 is enough to find to be term really.
You're asking the wrong two fellows.
You know, we have.
I don't know who Jerry is.
That's what you're asking me.
My cousin's name is Jerry.
He's a good guy, you know.
He's got a lot of theatrics.
Jerry's theatrics, is that what you said?
Yeah.
Maybe.
Yeah, Maybe. Yeah. Totally. Maybe your your your shirt just says, I am am I not enough mom.
Oh, I like that. Who gives you more crap? Mom or dad.
Um, it was mom in the beginning and it's been dad as a blade. I think he sees all his friends and they're all a gram and gram pose.
And so I think that, you know, maybe I'm feel a little sad.
Oh, okay.
I have a dark solution for you, which will maybe get to later.
I'm not ready to reveal yet.
I'm still workshopping it.
So Charlie, I want to hear how you approach this with your family
because Charlie's in very similar situation with you. No kids, single guy, you know, his
family's always down as thrilled about something. How do you avoid the kid talk at your gatherings?
Well, here's what I do, honestly. Basically, I just start talking a lot. And when I start the more I talk,
the less they want me to procreate. So, so I that's my best advice there. Just start talking
about all the wishes you've stolen from little children along the way. Yeah, maybe throwing some questionable takes on stuff, you know? Yeah. Maybe like, you know,
I don't, when Michael Jackson was dangling his kid out the thing, that didn't seem like that was
that crazy. Just say stuff like that, and then they'll be like, okay, she should not have kids.
Yeah, or come up with a nice invention for a kid. Like, you know, I've been noticing all these people with their dogs on choke colors.
You know, would that make it easier to keep track of your kid?
If they got choked a little every time they walked away.
Not a lot.
Shot collars, maybe.
Shot collars.
Suggest shot collars for kids.
You know how there's the electric fence outside? What if they made electric fence playpen?
Yeah, they suggest stuff like that.
Absolutely. And then they'll say, you know what? Maybe things are better this way.
Honestly, this was kind of the direction that I was going with, with my dark one.
So I think we got there anyways. Well, what was kind of the direction that I was going with with my dark one. So I think we got there anyways.
Well, what was your dark one?
It was basically saying questionable stuff like that.
Okay. Got it. Yeah.
Well, you know, and also it's, it's just your life.
And, you know, we can't live our lives for other people.
It's a people pleasing thing.
And it's just best, you know, you keep doing you and saying you
and it's going to be awkward and uncomfortable at first. But then eventually they'll understand.
Well, okay. I thought of another good one. Okay. As you were as you were rammed. I was
like trying to give actual advice. Okay. So the last thing you said, even your dad started
giving you crap, the last thing your parents want to know is details about how a baby is
made or you would at least attempt to make a baby. So then you should just start diving
in to how you're trying to and in far too much detail, they're going to clam up and ask
you to stop telling the
details and then they won't ask you anymore. That's another interesting.
That is good, but my family, oh, we're so open, it's actually kind of bad. So I
did do that route. Like, here's an example, I'll tell you a story. So my brother
and I were coming home from the theaters and it was dark, there's an example. I'll tell you a story. So my brother and I were coming home from the theaters, and it was dark. There's a full moon, and we're coming up the driveway.
And he's like, oh my god. Did you just see that? And I'm like, no, what?
He's like, I just saw dad dad. And I'm like, what? So there, there's a type of people. They'll do it anywhere. Everyone's open.
Like, no, open back.
So back that as a.
They were alone.
So yeah, they were alone in home and decided, yeah, we're just
going to take this outside.
So they were doing their room obviously because yeah, out on the
porch.
OK.
So I don't get it.
I mean, your whole family is fucking like bunnies.
And so naturally all they want is babies.
You know, I think this is what happens.
This is their counter tactic.
They're like, well, if I'm not going to get kids from my children, we're just going
to give it another go ourselves.
Oh, yeah, maybe well, but it's so my brother and I put a sign on the slider door that said no
specs beyond this point.
Because everyone went inside and in the morning.
Yeah.
I was having a coffee and he turns bright red when I come down the stairs.
I was like, so I was your evening.
She's like, I don't know.
Something's called that full moon that you had just love.
I'm like, he's like a werewolf.
Yeah.
You guys saw two full moons that night.
Yeah.
It's like another planet with multiple moons.
Yeah.
To start trick.
Yeah, I mean, honestly, it doesn't sound like the t-shirts
are going to help you anyways. Yeah. I mean, honestly, it doesn't sound like the T-shirts are going to help you anyways.
Yeah.
I know more about your family.
Right.
Um, yeah, I don't know what to do with that even.
Yeah, I mean, your parents are exhibitionists, it sounds like.
Yeah, you just turn it on them to say, I was going to have kids, but I'm still trying
to get over a
traumatic episode of seeing your ass. Now, when you know that might work, maybe, maybe when you guys
not to get into more detail on this, but you're walking home and you're looking up at the porch,
did you see it too? Did just he see it was just an ass or was the was the ass
like doing something. It was just my my my brother just saw them run because you know, the
moon was lighting up the backyard and just called them running from the back porch.
Mom going in first and dad behind. So he saw dad. Oh, so they weren't actually caught in the act. Yeah, running.
Bear ass naked. Wow. Oh, that's a hard thing to, I mean, your family is unbelievable.
So what do you, I mean, I can't imagine what you talk about at holiday. It's got to be like, oh, it's insane.
It's probably like a, it's probably like a, you guys come into the
where like you're going to open like Christmas presents or something.
And if you celebrate that and they go to sit on a couch and your dad just goes,
I don't think I'd sit on that one yet.
Still, still got to be clean.
Is that how it goes?
So everyone's got to sit on the floor.
I mean, pretty much.
Yeah, pretty much.
Otherwise it's very not just kidding.
No, it's just we're very like, you know,
it's a open, like we're just very honest with each other.
We try to make each other feel uncomfortable.
So I think that's why it got to that point of just talking real honest.
And then now it's like, well, how do I break up the things that like the baby is talking?
Like, yeah, I don't want to hear anymore.
I've had like sit down talk, but oh, you've told that you had sit down.
I mean, you had sit down talk.
We'll sit down telling them.
Yeah.
Well, are they coming to Florida anytime, pun intended?
No, they are not.
They are.
No, they're in Wisconsin.
So like most of my family's in Wisconsin,
and I have a few sprinkled in Florida.
But I'll be moving to California.
So I won't be moving back to Wisconsin.
So I'm at least well I love my family I would love to live in Wisconsin again but
not a lot of fans up there. Yeah yeah yeah what Wisconsin state rock.
Red granite yeah red granite is on another. She definitely wasn't she didn't know that off the top of her head.
Yeah, she she learned that geography geography from our podcast geology. Sorry.
Oh,
Well, you know, you're on it. You're on it. Let me just say this on behalf of the BellyUp podcast.
You are enough for us and we're proud of you. And your folks are too. Um, and
they also good old to your, your parents, they still got the spark gone too though. Yeah,
good for them. Good for them. And you know, that's what we say. That's what not embarrassed
by it. I was like, Hey, you're still showing love. Oh, I'm gonna be a little embarrassed
kept in your room. Oh, yeah, keep it in your room.
But hey, glad it's not like fighting or anything.
Do they do that?
Do they do the classic?
It's my house. I can do whatever I want.
Oh, how many times I've heard that?
Oh, gosh. Yeah.
I don't want to know other.
I mean, I, if this is just one story,
it's not, I know it's not an isolated incident.
No, there's other stories that I can't even imagine.
Hey, you know what I always says, though, there's no use in being embarrassed over a bear ass.
Embarrassed.
Couldn't.
Perfect.
Law that great advice.
Well, I don't know.
I don't know if we helped, but we most certainly didn't help.
But we learned a lot about the Hoover Dam.
I mean, the dam is damn.
Damn.
Some knowledge, you know, it was some, you know, verbal therapy.
So maybe I just needed to talk about it out loud on your podcast.
Yeah. You know what? Hey, anytime you're feeling like the
cornered yet again, asking about babies, call on in. We'll talk to you about it.
Maybe less stories about your parents getting it on. Maybe less bear
asses is what we'd like to talk about. But I like actually more of those
stories. Okay. Would you have your folks call? I want to talk about. I like actually more of those stories. OK, would you? Have your folks call.
I want to talk to them.
Yeah, tell your folks to call in.
I've got my folks call.
I got a question for you before you go.
OK, hit me.
What did the fish say when it ran into a brick wall?
Or what did the fish say?
Hang on, Miles.
I'm telling the joke. What did the fish say when it ran into a concrete wall?
I believe it's damn. No, he said, who put a concrete wall in the middle of my living room?
That is true. Well, there you go. Oh, you said,
damn. Charlie, I believe, unless my brother's in my chain, I think he
roamed with one of your brothers in college. There's 40
barons kids. Wow, wow, wow, where'd your brother go to college?
Wow, where'd your brother go to college? So you went to Winona and LaCross?
My-
He's 29.
Okay, I didn't have a brother that went to Winona or LaCross,
but I did have a sister that went to LaCross.
He was Roman with your sister.
What's he?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
What?
What? How old is he?
He comes from the family that likes doing it on the porch even
How old is your brother and what's his address?
He's 29 so he would be, he would be Adi's age and Adi is
currently pregnant. Oh my god.
Wow.
I think you got a phone call to make after this call.
I know.
I'm going to call.
Wow.
No, but I bet you here's what I bet you happen.
I bet you at East husbands.
The alleged father went to a cross too.
So I bet you that maybe he roamed with my brother in law.
Oh, there we go.
So I ask him, maybe his roommate is a fellow named Brad.
We quite literally have a game of telephone going on right now.
Yeah, what's your brother's name?
What's his address?
Charlie's gonna show up to his thing to kick his ass.
But as he's walking up, he's like,
is everyone decent?
He's got his head down, his hand over his eyes.
Is everyone decent?
That is protocol apparently.
If so, his name is Mitch or Mitchell?
Mitch or Mitchell.
Well, I guess we'll do a little research. Oh, Mr. Mitchell.
Yeah, we will.
I'm going to do that right now in fact.
I call my sister.
Oh, God.
Yeah, here we go.
Oh, three. Four.
I call right here.
10 four ways now.
Hello.
Hey, Addy. How you doing? Good. How are you? Good. So I was talking to someone on my belly
up podcast. I'm talking to them right now. You're on the podcast.
No, I'm doing not. No, you're not. You're not. You're not.
Okay. All right. Now they said that they room with my brother at college
at Winona or LaCross and I says I don't have a brother that went there
But then I says I do have a brother-in-law that went there
So my question for you is do you know a fella?
Do you know a felon they Mitch that maybe?
roomed with
Brad
Mitch
Is that his name?
I'm talking to his sister right now Mitch. Mitch. Mitch. Yeah. Is that his name? Yeah.
Oh, I'm talking to his sister right now.
We were on the phone right now.
Um, um, now there.
Um, I don't know how to say this.
All right, that's all we want to know.
That's Brad's phone number.
Yeah.
So any, do you see Mitchell at these days, Addy? All right, that's all we want to know. That's Brad's phone number. Yeah.
So any, do you see Mitchell at these days, Adi?
I haven't seen him in a while, but I was at his wedding.
OK.
And would you say like maybe like six to nine months ago?
Oh, wait, wait, wait, you were at the wedding?
Wait, wait.
Do you know, do you know it's sister?
I met her.
Oh, well, she's on the phone.
She's on the phone. Oh, no, he said she probably doesn't remember me. She goes, we met.
Oh, anyway, so when was the last time you saw Mitch maybe like six, like six to nine months ago?
You know, Addy and Mitch didn't know that's not that is. Is Miles stirring the pot? Miles is stirring the pot.
So what, I would never, the, the family really wants kids.
And I was saying that like you didn't
room with my brother.
Did you room with my sister?
And then I was like, oh, then, you know, I was,
it's a whole thing.
So anyways,
are you guys implying that the paternity
of my child, but not stupid?
No,
six to nine.
That was miles.
Okay.
All right.
I guess a lot of no.
Which is a very nice guy.
Mitch is a very nice guy. Have you ever hung out with him on a porch before?
So, Addy.
So Mitch was walking home with his sister.
And they saw their dad's bear ass on the porch.
And his dad has his dad fixed our fireplace. And they saw their dad's bear ass on the porch and
His dad has his dad fixed our fireplace. Oh, he's dad fixed our fireplace. Well
Got a story. I mean this is I can't believe this is happy. Yeah, this is wild
Anyway, they saw the the
F**ks were poking around on the porch
Ah, yeah, yeah, the parents Yeah, they were getting the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I'm talking to her. Anyways, Adi. It was nice talking to you. And nice talking to you too.
We're going to never answer your calls again.
I'm in trouble.
I was just curious, Adi.
That's all.
Anyways, glad that you reconnect with Mitch's sister
and the whole deal.
So say hi to Mitch for me.
I can't think of it.
Her first name.
Yeah.
I know you're not couple of first names.
I'm not going to wait.
What's your name again?
Carly.
I was going to say cally, honestly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, because they stayed in like a camper or something
at the wedding.
You guys stay at a camper at the wedding, Carly.
I'm really like, I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to you.
I'm talking to you.
That's the memory.
My sister says you guys talked and thanks for the memories.
So, oh, lovely.
Yeah, you know,
the campers are rocking.
Don't come knocking.
That's what the fuck say.
Oh, this was really fun, guys.
It's like five degrees of separation
between a fucking abarance.
Well, it was nice talking to you, Addy.
Tell Mitch I say hi.
Oh, you're at work.
All right, sorry to take you.
All right, bye, bye. Sorry, bye. Well, guys, you're at work. All right. Sorry to take you. Okay. All right. Bye. Bye. Sorry. Bye.
Well, guys, I'm in trouble. Yeah. How mad do you think she's sounding? She's
she'll be cool. By I mean, just hey, just she already knows that I'm stirring the pot. So just
throw it on me. Just say miles at a gun to my head and he made me call you all right. Well, that's how we're gonna do it. Yeah
well
I
Don't know where we go from here magical. Yeah
370 some people out that wedding, so I apologize for not remembering your sister. Um, big question. What's with the, what's with the camper? Why not just stay in a hotel?
Is it because you guys like being outside, like one with nature or what's going on with
that? So I was one of those people that bought a bus and then transformed it into a converter
bus. I lived in it for like a half a year when I was traveling from California back to North Carolina.
And I just drove it up for my brother's wedding and just parked it in his wife's yard because they had it at her parents backyard.
And so I just, I didn't want to drive.
We're taking the shuttle back to the hotel.
I was like, I'm shutting this place down.
So I didn't stay right to the hotel. I was like, I'm shutting this place down. So the amount.
I didn't say it right at the venue. The amount of layers on this call that we just, I'm scared
to peel back another one. I'm scared to what we might find, Charlie. We're deep in the matrix.
It may find out that yeah, I just I'm scared to find out what's next. So, uh, this is why you know,
it's still wishes from children. It's a bottom line. Don't be scared, uh, this is why you don't steal wishes from children.
So bottom line. Don't be scared. See, this is why we shouldn't procreate. Apparently, we're little trouble makers. A parent, we're inherently, yes.
Well, uh, we appreciate you calling in. This is, this was fantastic. Um, I think Charlie
learned a lot about his own family. I did.
I just like I learned a lot about yours entirely too much about your family.
But we appreciate you calling in and maybe we'll get a follow-up.
Some point maybe we'll get Mitch on the line, see what kind of cooots he's in and go from there.
How's that sound? get you on the line, see what kind of kahoot he's in and go from there.
How's that sound?
I mean, that sounds great.
I'm sure he's a little more like conservative than me.
I just put it all out there.
Inconservative if you're a ****, I can tell you that much.
Yeah.
That's very true, very true, Very free with the Willie. All right, well thanks for calling in.
Talk soon now. I'm going to try to get off the hook with my sister, but we'll see how that goes.
Okay, sounds great. I'll tell you to say hi. All right, bye bye now. Please do. I will.
All right, bye you guys. All right, Charlie, we got to set the record straight. We know your sister.
It's your sister's married, right? All my sisters married. She's happily married.
Has a sweet bitch. You know, one of the things she hates mitch actually.
Yeah. What would happen? No, she'll be fine. I'm sure she'll text me back.
Oh, well, you know, the thing about siblings is they have to love you. Well, that ends.
You have so many.
You can afford to lose a couple.
I can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a lot of them.
So, you know, getting ex-communicated for one of them isn't the end of the world, right?
Yeah.
I only got three siblings.
I lose one of those.
That's 33%.
You're only losing one 12%.
That's true. I can't. I'm not going to go with percentage. I'm not going to lose one of them isn't the end of the world, right? Yeah, you only got three siblings. I lose one of those.
That's 33%.
You're only losing one 12.
That's true.
I can't, I'm not going with percentages, but that's less than 10%.
I can tell you that much.
That's 10% probably around 8, 9, 7.
But yeah, you know, it's funny.
I think about my family and my sister.
She's an anesthesiology assistant or anesthesiology assistant to the anesthesiologist.
Yeah. Well, my point is, is she's dealing with like people and she's dealing with, you know,
sickness and everything. And then here I go calling her in the middle of her work day.
She thinks, oh, maybe it's important, Charlie, don't call that often. But just think you'd
have been tossing and turning tonight if you wouldn't have got that call under your belt, you know.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, it was really for your mental health.
I'm glad we put this to bed.
Yeah.
The guy we put this to porch.
Yeah.
Next column.
Hello.
Well, how do we got on the line?
We got Dave. I'm going from the Scotland area. What was your name? Dave. Dave from the Chicago land, which land in Chicago are you from's stream. Oh, okay, Colonel Stream.
Carol's Carol.
Carol's stream.
I didn't even know where Carol's stream is.
I never knew there was a Carol's from my confess set.
Yeah, Carol's got a stream.
Yeah, sure.
So what's going on?
You actually were, you actually were right about that.
I thought it was named for a body of water,
but it was named for a cushion.
Really?
Indeed.
And her name is Carol Stream then.
Wow.
She sounds like a good girl.
Yeah, she does.
We'll have to look her up on the Wikipedia.
Find out what makes her so special.
She gave the city named after her.
But good for Carol.
Dave, though, let's shift focus to you now.
What's going on?
What brings you here today?
Well, big fan of the podcast and of you guys and
I know that the number was posted, so I'd give it a try.
I'm honored to talk to you both.
No, we're honored to talk to you. Thanks for calling in.
Why don't you belly up to the bar with us though and tell us on your mind
what do you got?
Oh, well, sure. So, one of the things I'm wondering about is I always
love the bits that child you make
about father Tom.
Oh yeah, father Tom.
Well, he's left a bit in the right mission after because I'm a self in the pastor.
And wow, you're a pastor.
Dave, the pastor is on the show.
Different church, same alter.
Yeah.
I think you're more right than a lot of ways that I think you're right.
There's so many different denominations and connections that actually make us more.
You know, you've been separate, but you know what?
I'm already starting to, uh, I'm feeling a little bit like, uh, feeling good.
I'm feeling the pastor to come through.
I know he's, he's preaching to us and we don't even know it. I'm picking up what he's preaching out right now. So, well, there we go. So continue. Yeah, where you pastor at Dave.
our congregation has a food pantry here in the building and they go through one o'clock and the morning visitors are out there and finally quiet down a little bit.
Oh nice.
I'm actually about to get some work done.
Did you get permission?
I thought you were numbering.
Did you get permission from your boss God to call in today or what?
Yeah.
Did God tell you to call in?
I can't say direct that.
I tried to pray awesome, but you know,
the way God's speech is always really interesting.
And I've never heard a burning bush or a loud booming voice.
But yeah, I mean,
but he did have a lot of.
He brought you the number today.
So I think that that's,
I think that's a sign right there.
By the way, what's the food pantry of people are in town
and around while I'm bringing food over? Where can they bring it? Yeah, so's the food pantry of people are in town and around want bring food over where they where can they bring it?
Yeah, so it's a part of the organization called neighborhood food pantry that's here in our we host one of their pantry sites and
So I
Who what is the website for them? I think it's just nfp.org and
My congregation site is food-thring of the Master. That's where they can bring
donations and thoughts. They're always looking to do more good here in the community, which
is fantastic.
There you got it, Dave. I got a question. And Miles, you just said hell yeah to a pastor.
Jesus, Louise. You know, I don't know about that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the tell tale signs that someone in your pews is not listening.
Oh, hmm.
Well, I don't want to be reddened anybody out.
Well, I'm not asking to rat anybody out.
I'm asking you to rat everybody out.
This is what all people do when they're trying.
Mostly, me and Charlie are wondering is if the priests or pastor can tell that we're not
paying attention. Yeah, how do
you know?
You know, I, I'd say 50 50.
Uh, what tends to grab my attention is, uh, my two boys in the congregation are making
noise. That always makes this mile.
Uh, I don't know if they're trying to get dead attention or what, but that always makes
this mile.
I think motion might be the biggest thing if somebody's
walking up and leaving.
Ah, yeah, that's a good sign.
That's a good sign.
Well, if they're sitting there, now I'm not saying that I ever do this move.
I'm not saying that I've ever seen it happen. It probably doesn't, but if someone were to happen be crossing their arms with their chin in their chest, with
their eyes closed, and every once in a while their headbabs a little bit, is that a good
sign that they're not listening or are they listening so intently that their body is
giving out?
Yeah.
It could be both.
It could be both, it could be both.
But I, if I have ever seen that happening, I kind of take the same approach I did when
I was a high school math teacher before I became a pastor that if that student is following
the feet for that parishioner might be starting to do. Well, then shoot that might be what
they need the most right there in that mold. Yeah, you know, right? Right. We need more pastors like you.
He just needs a nap.
Give him a nap.
Do you have a nap space in the church?
Or should if I'm falling asleep in church, should I just continue sleeping or should I
just go home and take a nap?
Should I excuse myself and say, you know what?
God's telling me to take a nap right now.
What do you think?
I don't think you need. I don't think you need to excuse yourself. No. No, yeah, just
right there snooze insurance. So in logs, well, he's trying to preach. Yeah, what if, what
if, what if Miles snores? What if, what if he brings some snoring to your, I'm guessing?
What if, why does I got a big neck? Actually, no, I've heard you. I've heard you remember that cabin?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, I don't need to tell everyone
about our special track.
The cameras worked to incorporate it in somehow.
But I think you kind of started driving a bit of my question.
I mean, we just come to two years of a pandemic,
technically still in it.
And then when I front you friendy perhaps church you guys have ever been in what is something that has made you feel
Contrable or welcome that because the church has the phrase they love to say all the time that all are welcome
I certainly believe all right that it's true
But sometimes it gets you know
Or use as more all are welcome as long as you're like us. Yeah, yeah, okay.
All right, so the question is, you're wondering,
what really makes you feel comfortable at a church?
Not just, you know, not just all talks and everyone's like,
what actually makes you feel comfortable?
And I'll just jump out ahead here first.
Number one thing that makes me feel comfortable
at a church is if they got snacks. If there's a snack when I walk in, I can tell you this much. I'm
going to be already like, okay, you got me. I'm now ready to snack, sit down and listen.
Miles is a snack guy. I don't know if you could tell that about me, but I like snacks.
Yeah, that's very interesting now.
Maybe complimentary coffee is also a big.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
For sure.
We're, we're, we've always got coffee.
I mean, not always be great coffee, but there's always some somewhere.
See, that's different from Catholics.
Catholics don't have any of that in church.
Sometimes, though, one Sunday month, you'll even they got a donut day for
some reason in the back. And then you can go get a donut or the, like the lions made
breakfast for everyone. The lions club. Yeah. Yeah. Or the rotary or something like that.
Yeah. So Charlie and I both grew up Catholic. So, uh, yeah. So I'm, I'm actually you bringing
coffee to the table. I mean, that's pretty good.
Now, it sounds pretty good. Usually all we get every Sunday is a simple wine. And that's it.
You know, and I always thought about this, uh, Pastor Dave, you know, let's say, uh, you know,
you, the, the spirit of what you're saying, I think is that, uh, you're trying to make sure
all people sort of feel welcome there. Do you ever like just go out to the bars and do some recruiting?
You know, you ever just start doing some recruiting there?
You know, like, hey, what are you doing?
Talking later over at the spot, you ever do it?
I mean, priests, you know, oh, you do.
Do you have a bar Bible study?
That's a good way to do it.
Yeah, so the first color I was in the head,
it would be called a drink in the word.
And then looking to start it up here in my new congregation as well,
I didn't have the opportunity to talk to you about because of pandemic stuff.
But indeed, yeah, starting with a discussion based kind of,
I was studying, we hold on some local establishment nearby and,
kind of put up a sign that, hey, this is who we are, is what we're doing.
I think another good way to make everyone feel welcome is use lots of sports analogies,
right?
Yeah.
You want to do, if you're doing the parable of the prodigal son, right?
That's right.
And you could do the parable.
You could do a, it'd be like if bread farve left the packers, went to the Vikings and
then defrauded the state of Mississippi and then went back to the packers and won a Super
ball, right?
Like that's what you could, you could use those analogies that could, that everyone
can relate to.
I can't relate to, you know, the whole, the actual story. I mean, but I can relate relate to you know the whole the actual story. I can relate to that.
I can relate to that.
That's what parables were.
They're just trying to relate the story of something known to that particular community of that particular time.
Yeah, that would be retool.
Yeah, let's re let's re update the parables for now.
That'd be kind of cool.
Like pastor Dave's updated parables for now. That'd be kind of cool. Like Pastor Dave's updated parables. So you just take
all the parables with Jesus and then you just make them all about the bar and fishing and hunting
and sports and sports. And then before you know it, you know, you got your own book you can sell.
Be a New York Times best seller right there. And you want to make sure you use cool hip lingo.
You know, it's not your wife.
It's your old ball and chain.
You want to use terms like that.
And then people will be paying attention.
Yeah, the old ball and chain new lingo.
Yeah, hasn't miles as a lingo hasn't been updated since 1954.
In the region, the region of the Bible is already complicated enough.
Yeah.
And actually, that one doesn't
need to be updated. That's still
the same. Yeah.
Oh, there is. Yeah. You can't
put a definition of biblical
marriage out there. There's
just so many different
examples in there.
Like, what?
No. Yeah, that's true.
That is, that is very true.
You know, I, I think the Bible
is interesting because I think
you know, a lot of people try to
say stuff, you know, because the Bible says that because you have a pastor on the line.
No, I'm not. I'm being honest. I think if you read the Bible, back me up on this pastor day,
have you ever read the Bible? I've read the ton of the Bible. Okay. Yeah. Not just a couple
lines that they made you read in CDC class. No, I wrote enough lines for my standup bit as well.
But I will say the Bible says so many things that whatever you think the Bible says and
you're telling people you got to do this because the Bible says it.
I think that says more about you and does the Bible because the Bible says almost everything
if you read it closely.
I think it's bad on Charlie.
Yeah, you can you can pretty much make the Bible say whatever you want.
Like if you, if you have an idea of what you're trying to say,
you're going to find something in there that'll back you up.
Yeah.
It's got to be the backwards of the kind of readers or what the scripture they're
trying to say to you.
Right. Here's a Bible verse.
I think we're talking about as interpretation.
Interpretation.
Yeah.
Inter, oh, now miles.
You should interpretation. Pastor Dave,. Yeah. Oh, now miles.
You should interpretation.
Pastor Dave, you should look at the way miles
is looking at me right now.
Pastor Dave, can you? Oh, no.
He's looking at me like he's a, he's a freaking philosopher.
Wow. He's dang near Robin is beard, you know?
Pastor Dave, if you wouldn't mind rightfully
through the Bible for me quick and finding out how I can,
where it says in there that I can drink 100 beers at the bar on
Weekends so then I can tell my fiance that I just did it because the Bible said so that would be
Just something we can interpret that way
just something we can interpret that way. I don't know, there is the first miracle of the Jesus
which turned the water to one.
Okay.
Boom.
There it is.
And by why?
And they meant beer.
And they meant that you have to drink it all
because you can't take it home with you.
Boom.
Bones.
Boom.
Wow, look at that.
You've really...
If you want that, sure, it can be there.
But if I were you have to make a
picture of being a from Martin Luther himself, he was quite the
Drew Janker. Martin Luther. Oh, geez. Why do you have to bring Martin Luther
into that? That's where you that's where me, Charlie, and you have a little bit
of a. Yeah. We should have left Martin Luther. This is why I don't hold the door for
Lutherans because they might just nail another 95 feces to it, Father.
And it's a glass door.
I just called your father pastor, that's what I meant.
Oh, Martin Luther, good guy, you know, probably.
Oh, yeah.
You know, yeah, he's a good guy, you know,
he had his pluses of minuses.
He was good with a hammer, good guy.
I mean, I don't necessarily,
I don't necessarily blame him.
I don't like going to confession.
I know, you know, it would be so nice to be able to just lie and bed the next day and
be like, Hey, God, sorry about last night.
We good for today or what?
You know, that would be, but, you know, it's all it goes.
Now anyway, did you learn anything here? Uh, faster day for did we just lower your face in a humanity?
Oh, God, nothing lowered at all.
Not at all.
It's just, you know, I love the, I love my, the amount of my members are our former Catholics.
And so it's a familiar familiar bar game for sure.
That was just a such a dig there. That was such a low-key day. Just a
Martin Luther sit there
Thanks all the people fill in my pews every Sunday. They used to be Catholics, you know
That is true God is loving all who live and love,
living God. That's a Bible quote.
So, you know, if you live in love or you live in God,
you live in the same thing. Miles, just think about that.
And I love you. I love you, Charlie. Yeah.
And I love me because I love my neighbor like I love myself.
Amen. Right.
That's fine. Well, past the day, if I think we all learn a lot today, of my neighbor like I love myself. Amen. Wow. Wow.
Well, there you go.
Pastor Dave, I think we all learned a lot today.
I think at the end of the day,
we can just say different church, same pew.
Different church, same pew.
Yeah.
And the pew's in the back,
because I'm not sitting in the front.
Yeah, and I might want to sneak out
really to get some packers.
Yeah, sneak out maybe, especially after communion,
I'm out of there.
They don't have the communion in the
Luzon deal.
Because all you do hang on, they got the
one. It's like once a month.
Oh, it's once a month.
Oh, no, every week.
Oh, you got a, is it a white wafer or is you got that
the unleavened bread?
Is it unleavened or is it leavened?
He's done both.
So yeah, it was fundamentally went back to the single wafer.
It's changed a lot now to the pandemic and we're in that
system.
And that's it.
We've got the wafer at the moment.
Yeah, I mean, did you ever have you ever had unleavened bread?
I mean, yeah, that's pretty good.
Yeah, I like the way that I'm the wafer.
Oh, wait, there's some really good recipes out there for communion bread.
Are you guys making your own communion bread over there?
I had before.
I'd like to get back to it.
But yeah, that's in case you thought.
Hey, let's make unleavened bread grade again.
Oh, yeah.
What the hell?
Okay.
What?
What? It's always been great.
No, I'm more so bring it back.
Oh, you want to bring it back.
Certainly, wait for it.
Aren't the wait for it's unleavened?
Well, all wait for it's unleavened, right?
I mean, I don't, it's a wait for even bread.
Do you even know what unleavened bread is?
Miles, I literally made it in grade school.
OK, what's the difference made it in grade school. Okay. What's a difference?
It doesn't rise.
But Jesus.
The way for the bread is in flower and
flower and
Hey, uh, your interpretation of wayfers is that they're bread just like the Bible,
you know,
could we use like nila wayfers? Yeah, can we or is that this respectful could our interpretation?
We could we could make nutter butters, you know, oh
People got pretty creative when we were doing worship purely online
We've started to do commuter. We invite our members to try to grab some fine some bread and some wine nearby if you had this other elements.
We, uh,
It's pretty interesting in the pandemic and everything stories that people were, uh, indeed did use a cookie one Sunday and some water or a fry. They had to be here. Had to be resourceful just being at home. Heck yeah. Yeah. See, I'm
on you. Change man. Father. I think you did. Pastor, you done so much good for us here.
You did some point to call you father Tom Pastor Dave. I'm sorry. Pastor Dave, you did some
good work today. I'm going to have another beer. Stop saying how? We'll say hack more.
And uh, I already have a beer with you. Yeah. Well, we appreciate you calling in today.
Yeah, cheers to you.
Not for ever in, uh,
if we're ever in Carol's stream,
Chicago, we'll have to, uh,
we'll have to swing on through and we'll be in the back,
but we'll be in the pew.
We'll be there.
All right, I'll keep my eye out for you.
All right, sounds good.
Have a good one.
But by now, so you're focused on that. Yeah, I'm watching for deer, okay, they're rotten. Oh eye out for you. All right. Sounds good. Have a good one. But by now, tell your folks that I, yeah, I'm watch for deer.
Okay, they're rotten.
Oh, you bet you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks, guys.
Yeah.
Great guy.
He was a great guy.
He did, you know, I could have gone off the rails.
He was definitely patient as a pastor should be with us. But I think we all learned something
today. He was slow to anger. Rich and kindness. Rich and kindness. I was like, what is the next
one thing for one after that? Pick it up. No, that was really good. And I think it was really
hard for me not to just be whipping on all the Catholic knowledge that I got. I know. I kept I call father at least three times.
I know. I know.
Yeah, he'll get over it. Hopefully he's praying for us. I could use it. Yeah. Yeah.
Couldn't we all? All right. All right. Hello, how are you today? Hello, I'm doing great.
What is your name? My name is Jess. How are you? Jess? I'm doing good. Jess, where are you calling in from, Jess?
I'm calling in from Canada. Canada. Oh yeah.
Oh, you're calling in from Canada, right?
Oh, Miles is doing a bad Canadian impression and Jess,
what did you think of his Canadian impression? Was it good or was it lax a daisicle?
Tell me this one was the last time you were at a dim ordains
She said part of me
One was the last time you were at a Tim Morton's
Okay, well excuse me for laughing
Why don't you belly up to the bar with us and tell us what's on your mind? Yes
I I would love to. I got a quick question. You look at the weird ass jeeps. I mean, I've been
trying to find the cheese to my pootie and I am finding it a're in the dating scene is what gathered, right?
You just say I want to find the cheese to my poutine. Yeah.
That's what I said. Oh my God. I'm going to be honest with you. Charlie and I have been
doing this for a couple of years now. And we've never heard that one before. No,
but that we're that deserves to be on a shirt
So you haven't found the cheese your protein is what you're saying
I have not I have not found the cheese to my cookies. Okay, well, talk my beaver
Say that again I said I haven't also found the damn to my beaver. All right.
Ah.
All right.
All right.
You just keep talking.
This will this podcast going to be you just keep rambling.
It's all going to be Charlie.
We'll just listen.
What else you got?
What kind of what kind of damn is your beaver looking for?
That's a good kid. Okay.
Well, did you just ask her what her beavers looking for?
She did.
She's not miles.
I did.
Let's go ahead and her talk.
She's saying gold here.
What what are you looking for in a in a damn in a damn?
Oh, well, you know, the good kind of, you know, good kind of logs for my damn logs. Okay. So you're just looking for now. Let me let's let's break on the analogy. Okay, I'm not sure on that.
Whatever one will do the trick.
Okay, are you looking for one log?
You're looking for a couple?
What's how many logs we talking?
Just run.
Okay.
Okay.
So it's going to be pretty weak damn as what you're saying.
That's not right.
It's going to be a weak damn.
Hey, no, no, no, no.
It's got to be such a good
log that it is the whole damn is what you're looking for is what I understand a log to fill the damn.
That is what I am looking for. Exactly. You guys know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Well, how are
you going about finding this log log? Well, I I saw some different avenues, but they all lead to some very strange
thing. What's the strangest thing you've been led to?
Well, I went to gate and he took me to a taboo show, which, you know, I'm the kind
of gouda for're going to get into the
white panel van with the promise of candy and puppies.
But that one was a little different when he left me for his sisters.
There's a lot to unpack.
Okay.
Can we, this is the second call from Canada that's been absolutely banana.
Gone down. Silver slurper?
Yeah, yeah, and now this so can we just start this is so great. Let's unpack this. I don't want to sound too innocent here
But explain to me a taboo show. Yeah, that was my question too
The naughty but nice sex show
So so what it's a go-john you get to do that in Canada? It is the naughty but nice sex show. So what is that?
It's a cool sign.
Can you get to do that in Canada?
We get to do that in Canada.
We come through and they're, you know,
they're an interesting, an interesting process program.
But you can go and do all kinds of stuff there.
I was rocking the pole dancing in the party bus.
And you know, some people had a bag of bags.
I got a bag of six toys.
Oh, okay.
So I mean,
there's more toys in there and tricks
to make Mr. Rogers blush.
Wow.
Yeah, I mean, I'm blushing a little right now to be honest. So it doesn't just take Mr. Rogers blush. Yeah, I mean, I'm blushing a little right now,
to be honest, so it doesn't just take Mr. Rogers,
and I can probably see this, I ain't no Mr. Rogers.
Yeah.
So it sounds like the tipping point was him leaving
with his sisters, which is a fascinating thing.
Was he going home to their folks house
because there was a family party
or when you say go home with his sister? Are you in Red Door? No, I'm not.
Well, there's someone there who sounds a lot like you.
So when was the moment you realized this had gone South on you?
Well, like I say, when the sisters showed up and he left with the sisters, and the
sex, the biggest sex toys was like, Hey, you know, I can look past the bag of sex toys.
Is what you're saying?
Well, the sex toys became because I was rockin' the pole dancing.
Okay.
So you got those as a reward for pole dancing?
Yes.
And no, I don't work in a strip club actually.
We were never going to assume that.
I've danced through a studio and I have one in my basement too.
Oh, wow.
Well, very good.
So you're getting practice in
at home miles, you know, if you're looking to, uh, you, I'm, I've been looking for a pole dancing
club to join. So you're saying, you know, a good one. I have one in my basement. I don't know if
it's a good club to join. I mean, it's parties only usually me in the cat.
Oh, that's in the cats are looking at a bunch of cats. Okay. Okay. When someone's
I'm not a bunch of cats. Just one cat. Oh, just one cat. That is important to know
since you are looking for. Okay. So I want to get a cat to what kind of strip of poll am
I looking for to put in my basement?
Well, you want the good stainless steel about inch because God forbid you get any stains
on that thing.
That would be bad.
You don't want to see the string.
You don't want to see the pole dance
and they came before.
You want this to be a fresh start every single time, right?
You do want it to be a fresh start and you got to make sure that things stay clean.
I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more.
Okay, so now we do have to get to this point. When you say this guy leaves with his sisters, where is he going with
his sisters? I thought that's the part I'm not really sure where where he exactly went with his
sisters, but he left with his sisters and left me there by myself. Okay, before we get into how we're gonna find you a good log. Yeah.
Do you think he wanted to take you to a taboo show because you had mentioned that you do a little
pole-dancing with your cat in the basement. Do you think that that tipped him off at all?
It might have tipped him off. It might have.
But you like I said, I'm, I'm down for, I'm down for whatever. Okay. Down for whatever, but not him leaving with his sisters. Can I just
clarify this because I've been trying to several times. He wasn't like leaving with his
sister, like he and his sisters weren't like hitting it off. Like he was drunk and picked
him up. Is what you mean, right? No, they showed up there and he went home with them.
But when you say when he home with them,
like to a family party or to something,
like they dropped him off at his house,
like, what kind of going home are we talking?
Is this a jaffery situation?
Is this a jaffery situation?
Have you seen Game of Thrones?
Jaffery is the product of an
incessial relationship between
Cersei and spoiler alert.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Game of Thrones.
Because I was getting that we are
delivered by.
I'm just I'm
honest.
I didn't want to be the one that
brought up the I word.
I didn't want to bring up
incessantly.
Charlie did. So you
think it was or wasn't an ancestral relationship?
I'm not sure. I was like, I was a little baffled by what you left with them, but you know,
I did whatever you do in your family, you do in your family. So big game of thrones fan on the phone. That's nice.
Okay. Okay. So let's find a, let's find a, let's find a good guy here.
What kind of guy really makes you a tick? Give us the three things that you need in a Canadian fella.
need in a Canadian fella. Oh, he's got a rock some big overall. He's got to be able to rock those. Look, damn good. It'll I agree with that. Bib overalls. Number one. What's number two?
He's got to be outdoorsy outdoorsy. You're doing great so far. What's number three? Number three, if he's got to be into some whiskey,
it sounds like you're looking for a Midwest man. You've had a little self and head to the Midwest.
Sounds like you're looking for a Midwest fellow. What do you think, Charlie? Well, I think that might
be the case. Now, I feel like what you just mentioned, you should be able to find all around Canada.
And if you cannot, the Midwest has its doors wide open to you.
Because, you know, outdoorsy, whiskey, overalls,
overalls, bib overalls.
Does he need to be wearing a shirt under the overalls?
Yes or no?
No, but this has got a nice sprinkling of chest hair.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Not too much, just a nice dusting.
If you want to go, I'm all right with that.
All right, little taco meat is what you're looking for.
I like that, I like that.
Charlie, can you provide any taco meat to the situation? Yeah.
So I have a little talk. Is that what you're saying? Do I have a little taco meat on the chest?
I do actually think. No. No. And I, I, sorry. Yeah. But you did on one of our episodes early on.
What'd you wear to the bar? Oh, I wore bib overalls to the bar. He wore bib overalls.
It was on my birthday, actually. Yeah. Yeah, I want to know in my
Where you rock and I'm in looking pretty fine. Oh, what's I ever was he? I mean, I'd tell you what I had to
defend some women off of the stick because they were trying to not let us do the podcast because he was looking that fine. I was rocking them bibs. I tell you that much and
Yeah, there's some guys who can't help wearing skinny jeans they buy regular jeans and down south here
We call them American thighs and
And down south here, we call them American thighs. And sometimes regular jeans turn into skinny jeans
because you got a little extra meat on the bowl.
Some of us can't help that, all right?
So cool.
Yeah, but you know, I'm a guy who's showing up
with the skinny jeans, going out and doing some
outdoorsy stuff.
And yeah.
And then you end up, you know, getting a little, you know,
frightened of the noises in the bush. And then he pushed me down, pushed me down and like took off
running, but the trick was on him was I had the keys to my truck. So, you know, let have
out her buddy. Time out. Okay, hold on. This was another date you were on.
You were in the woods and a guy puts you on.
This was another date I was on.
Like I said, have you guys not been on some weird dates?
These are the kind of men in Canada.
Okay, I mean, I can say I've never asked a woman
to a taboo show.
And I don't think I've ever pushed a woman down in the woods.
Yeah. And no, I cannot relate to this. And I don't know don't think I've ever pushed a woman down in the woods. Yeah. So no, I cannot relate to this.
And I don't know anyone who's going home with their sisters here.
I mean, is your what's your dating app?
23 of me?
What's going on? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 23 and he is it's good old, you know, Facebook, match, whatever it is.
Okay.
Tinder.
But, um, these are the fellows that are out there.
And like I say, when he, the one that, when we went hiking, he wanted, he wanted to come.
I was going by myself and he wanted to come with.
And I said, okay, so we're going in.
And yeah, he heard a noise
and he totally like just pushed me down and like took off. But he was also leaving a nice
trail of trail mix behind because he thought that he could find his way back with that.
He's just attracting Bayer. Just like they're leading him right to him. Um, well, I mean, in his defense, not to defend
the guy, but in his defense, you don't got to run faster than the bear. You just got
to run faster than the other person. So he probably is trying to get ahead and start
with the old push down. As long as he really pushed you like, was it an accidental? He
got scared and just was it snowy? Was it was it? Was it? Yeah, was it an accidental? He got scared and just was it snowy was it was it was it was it
yeah was it was it was it was all it was full on pushed me down and brought his dog and the dog
leash wrapped around my ankle and I fell and he was gone. I definitely had a better date with his
dog than with him. This is so business where do you find these guys? Socks.
This guy sucks.
Like, like, like, what's he, what's he?
All right, Charlie, what you hear a bear in the woods?
What do you do?
Well, what kind of bear we talk?
It doesn't matter.
What be it?
Any bear, what you do?
Figure out what kind of bear it is first.
No, the answer is you get in between you.
You go bear, you then the gal. That's the answer. You
always make sure you're in between the gal and the bear. That's number one.
Well, is it a polar bear? Because if it's a polar bear, we're just, no, we're just all,
we're just sitting there. It's, we're done, though.
No, no, if you're wearing your skinny jeans and it's pushed the gall down and run for the bill.
I can. So skinny jeans by choice, not by body type, right?
No, they were, they were definitely, they were skinny jeans that, you know, you should have not wearing like really
dainty little shoes to who the heck goes hiking and dainty shoes
and skinny jeans. So you walk back to the car and you have the keys
to the car. Does he apologize for pushing you down? No, he got mad and he said that I'm crazy,
crazy. Um, because he thought that I was going to get him lost in the woods.
I mean, this guy's insane. Yeah, I don't know where you find it now that for a moment we've been saying all these guys are
Insane I am curious. Where were you hiking with him just to turn the tables?
I'm going into a place called Canon Nazca and when you go in there because
There's I like to go in and there's a place where you can watch the
golden eagles come through on their migratorial path.
Oh, cool.
So I was going to do that and buddy wanted to come with.
He thought it would be cool.
And that was where it happened.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
That sounds pretty normal.
Well, that sounds pretty great.
So there's a website called FarmersOnly.com.
I think you're looking more of that speed than you are tender up there in
Canada. I think if you're looking a farmer ain't pushing it down. He's going to be wearing overalls
one. Yeah. He's not going to be wearing skinny jeans because he's wearing overalls. And he knows
how to handle a bearer too. I don't know if that's how you're feeling Charlie, but I think that
might be a good option. There's no other handle a bear or he'll have just enough gusto to think he can
handle a bear.
Yeah.
And then you get away free.
You might have to handle the bear, but that's what we're looking for.
That's a real gentleman.
You deserve a guy.
You know, you deserve a guy who will go after a bear.
I was going to try and make a log joke there, but it quite worked.
But you see where my head was going. Yeah. Turns out you need to stop looking for logs and start looking for farmers.
Yeah, but I'm wondering are the farmers going to be, you know, a little on the deliverance side?
Well, you've already gone down that road. I hate to say it. So, you know, you might as well try,
you know. It's not going to get any worse
than a guy going home with his sisters.
I'll tell you that much.
Yeah.
We're pushing you down.
I was back here midwest, and I was down in Minnesota
a few weeks ago, and I will say
it's a midwest men that are quite gorgeous.
Oh, gorgeous.
So I see what this is about.
She's trying to pick up Charlie on this podcast. Oh, is that what you're trying to do? Are you trying to pick me up?
I
If you're not gonna push me down if we go for a hike, then I'm sure
If you're here to pick you up if it makes you feel any better, I've never seen Charlie push anyone down
So you got that comb for you, Charlie.
Yeah.
He's wore bibs.
He's got some taco meat.
I've seen him drink a couple whiskey's here and there.
Whoa.
I think we just had a match made in heaven.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, give me a match.
Can you do tequila, too, Charlie?
Oh, can I do tequila? It's on my rider. Okay. I'm gonna shut up. I'm gonna let you guys have your first date here. I'm gonna turn my microphone off. Charlie taking a so uh you like walleye or no.
I do. Yeah. You indeed.
What's the biggest walleye ever caught? I have not caught any
but I like going fishing and
doing that kind of stuff. Oh,
yeah. That's nice. That's nice.
Yeah. I like I like walleye.
So you like looking at them.
You don't necessarily need to catch
them, but you like looking at them. Yeah, and I like to just go and you know, be out there. So I think
nobody else is doing, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm there. No, I'll fill out your wallets any day of the
week. I promise you that. Okay. It's getting hot. Now you were talking about gold needles, right?
He's a bird watching by the way. Do you see it? Yeah, I've been bird watching before I got some nice knocks.
You got a nice pair you got a nice pair of knocks.
Let her finish
I have an old pair of pen text and then I have a new set of Bushnells, but Bushnells learned as nearly as it is my other ones.
Is that what they're calling them these days? Is Bushnells?
I didn't know.
Yeah. What have you seen through your paradox recently?
How do you hold your be-knocks?
I hold them with two hands. Okay, two handfuls tonight. It's nice pair of
nox right there. Yeah, I've actually had if you go into this one spot, the goal legal fly
over and and you get to see the the trumpeter swells coming through there. You can see the cool
little. Well, I imagine that those birds, you want to see the birds and your birds
want to see the knocks.
So I, I totally get it.
All this bird talk is making me pretty hot and bothered.
I got to let you know that now just, just amuse me here.
You ever see a goal, Neagle, goalie and talent down come up with a perch.
Oh, no, I haven't seen that.
Because when you go out to this little spot, they're flying over, but you can,
like, you can check for their bands to see and all that other kind of jazz.
It's kind of an interesting thing.
So you can go at that, like in the early kind of mid fall and also late March.
They come through.
So you can see some pretty cool things come through there.
You ever seen a red breasted Merganzer?
I have actually just a couple weeks ago down on the river.
Yeah, you have.
Were they doing the courting?
They're a little courtship dance.
Yeah, there was just there is just a one.
And actually I was with with my aunt.
We wrote for a walk and she thought it was a piliated woodpecker I'm like no I think that's common misconception
change Louise but that that makes me so sad. No I your aunt's got to know that
what's it come on. Was it a male or female we're at breast and mergans or?
It was a female it was definitely a female. Yeah yeah. Charlie's favorite he loves
the female. I I breasted mergans and ants. You bet you I do. You bet you do. That makes me sad to see one
lone female. Red breasted Merganz are out there on her own. I bet you the male that she was
after went home with two of his sisters or something.
Oh, we did. Oh, we did. And left her all by herself down there on the river.
That breaks my heart. I would never leave a lone red breast and her
gans are out there just to femur self in this cold cruel world. Push her down.
Yeah, I you know, I'd get right. I'd flap my wings all over that bear.
Tell you that right now.
And did you also know that there's like,
I think the great horned owls are kind of my jam.
You might be into the, to the others,
that I'm into the great horned owls.
So you're, so I know this is bird nerdy.
So you say you're a little into hooters as well.
Miles, Miles
do not talk to my girlfriend like
you're talking about nox and
hooters, I tell you what, this is
sir binoculars. You know, this
is a Christian show, okay?
Jays go with. Right, Miles. Sorry
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know,
I'm gonna do a different kind of level. Oh, yeah, I am.. I'm sorry. You know, I'm going to try to level.
Oh, yeah.
I am.
I know it wasn't the guy taking to a taboo show, leave with the sisters.
That was, yeah, that wasn't a new level.
Miles is just jealous because he's the third wheel on our date right now.
But, you know, it's fun to watch.
Well, we're going to have to have a second date.
I think that's all there is to it.
So I want you to send Charlie a DM.
And we appreciate you calling in.
This has been, wow, I did not think
that Charlie was going to get a girlfriend on this podcast,
but here we are.
I found love in a hopeless place, you know?
Yeah.
We're birds of a feather, so we flock together.
Oh, that is hot. Oh my gosh. I am getting
I'm gonna do the pool right here. Yeah, this is who I may I can imagine how you feel right now. I'm ready to jump in a river and damn up
Yeah, let's ask you bar bar top raise up a couple inches
Now miles you had to take it there. You know, can you believe
please do it? Be a gentleman, okay? He says he's sorry, and I apologize for him too.
Okay. If Miles is the bear in this situation, I'm fighting them right now.
Well, like I said, hit up Charlie. Thank you for calling in. This has been great.
Um, Canada never seems to disappoint on this podcast. You guys for calling in. This has been great. Canada never seems to
disappoint on this podcast. You guys are some good folk up there. And, hey, glad you
got yourself a boyfriend on this podcast. That's pretty awesome. So you guys will go
bird watching some time and what would you say Charlie? Watch out for bears. Yeah. Watch
out. You want? I'll watch out for bears. How's that sound?
True gentleman. You watch out for the bears and if you definitely do not come to Canada, I will take you out and we could go do some bird watches. Oh my gosh. Go. Wow. All right. Well, thanks for calling in.
That's great. All right. we'll see you soon now.
You'll see how good night's.
Okay, bye-bye.
What will we will?
Well, I think that went pretty good.
I'm sweating.
Yeah, I'm feeling something.
God, you're, yeah, you are feeling something, Maria. something. Oh, God. Yeah, you are feeling something, Maria.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Ready to up your okay with me, you know, pushing the whole date.
He's saying, hey, you know, it's what friends are for.
Right?
Yeah.
Right there.
We just had a blind date on this podcast first.
First time blind.
First time blind date on the belly to podcast. See folks,
anything can happen here at the belly to podcast. That's why
you got to keep listening. And I got to keep bellyin up every
week, every week.
All right, let's signal our call. Welcome to the belly to podcasts
to we talking to today.
Hi, I'm giving one second my boss is sobbing to me. Okay. Hey, how's it going guys? I'm sorry. Who are we talking to? Sorry. My name is Ethan. My name is Ethan.
How are you guys doing?
We're doing good.
Ethan, is this the same Ethan that we've talked to in the past?
Yes, it is.
Okay.
He's back.
Ethan.
Give us an Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan.
Ethan. Ethan. Ethan's back. Ethan, give us
an Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan. I think we should do a quick recap
of the last call. And then I'd love to get an update miles. He
want to do that. What's up, Ethan, do it. Ethan, tell the folks
what we talked about last time. Oh, geez, Louise, what happened
last time? Well, last time, you know, I think you guys
do a much better. You guys go ahead and give it a shot. Only here you guys talk. You
guys have a beautiful voice. Last time I think you were talking to us about some red flags
turned green by your goth girlfriend. Is that about accurate? That's about accurate.
I'd say something like that. Yeah.
And she was thinking of moving in with you and your dad.
Yeah, so about that, you know, I'm about like a week or two weeks after that video was posted.
She, uh, she went ahead and moved in with me. That was a bit awkward.
Okay. Well, did the video help or hurt your cause?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And in all seriousness, I saw that video
and about like 30 different people kept on adding me
and sending me the video saying,
hey, is this new?
You and I never expected that video to be blown up
as the way it is.
It really did blow up.
I mean, who would have thought just you not knowing the specifics of how long you were
dating somebody?
I think that's a whole long.
Yeah, how long have you guys been dating now?
I say a good six, seven, eight, nine months now.
There we go.
I think that's a good ballpark. I think that's a good ballpark, I think that's a good ballpark, I think they're honestly.
Okay, well why don't you give us an update.
You now are moved in.
It's you.
You're wonderful.
Goth girlfriend and your dad.
How is it going so far?
Well, so far so good.
She was pointing to moving at the end of last month,
but a lot of things happened between her and her family,
and there's a lot of bad juju going on.
So she moved in while she was down for a couple of days,
visiting me on a weekend.
So it was a very abrupt and very sudden thing,
and I'm still trying to get used to it, but it's a lot.
It's a lot.
I didn't think it'd be like this.
And this is how it's like being married.
Yes, sir. That's why Charlie's no longer married.
Well, you know, maybe I was a lot. Here's the question. What is a lot about it? What's
what's the big, uh, the big issue, the biggest conundrum you've run into yet?
with the biggest conundrum you've run into yet.
Oh, just, hey, really, there's like, she have a lot of stuff.
She have a lot of stuff.
And she's moved in like in the middle of last month,
and we're still moving all of her stuff in.
I'm trying to find places for it.
I just ain't got no space for it.
What, I mean, what's, what is it close?
Is it closes it? Close it close? Is it close?
It's close. She's got a lot of like anime figurines. Again, she's more Asian than I am. It's really a wonder.
It's like shell-shock really. But it's, it's, she has a lot of stuff. A lot of figurines, a lot of clothing, a lot of artwork, more than me.
You know, I have like one photo and I hang on the wall and I go beautiful, makes my whole blank
wall look like they look amazing. While she's boasting me about it saying, oh, it's been
at a 45 degree angle. It doesn't go in with the wall and everything. I'm a man. And only takes
one thing for me to be so happy, be so satisfied. That's a lot of pressure you got going right now.
What is the picture that you have hanging on the wall?
Oh, it's, uh, so when I was in Las Vegas, uh, thinking my sister's concert one time, I was walking around the strip and I felt a guy doing like spray pain art.
I thought, oh, that looks really nice. Oh, yeah, that looks really nice.
It's like, uh, like a Bob Ross painting is like snowy mountains, pine trees, a river
blowing all that shit back.
And was it spray paint? Or was it actual paint?
One of the two. I think it's actual spray paint.
Well, I imagine that looked great. And so now what did she do? Is she
hang a bunch of her own stuff on the wall or what?
Not yet. I mean, she doesn't want to go through everything because it's all mine. Isn't that look great? And so now what did she do? Is she hanging a bunch of her own stuff on the wall or what?
Not yet.
I mean, she doesn't want to go through everything
because it's all mine.
And I work like 10, 12 hours shifts.
So I just don't have the time.
I come home.
And I'm like, where's the fucking stuff?
Sorry, part of my French.
Where's the food?
She's out of cold.
She's asleep.
She's awake at the night.
I'm awake during the morning.
It's cold, switch, pull our opposite type of deal. It's, it's a lot.
She hasn't hung up any of her
stuff. I hung up a little bit
of her stuff, but not a lot.
We're like going through the whole
move and face though.
Well, what, what, how tough
is it to just throw a nail in
the wall and hang some of her
stuff? And yeah, that dog
tired that you can't put a few
nails in the wall. Yeah,
especially if she's cooking
the dinner. Yeah, I bet.
Ah, fair, you know, well cooking the dinner. Yeah, I bet.
That's fair, you know, well, actually, in fact, I'm cooking her dinner, but she brings it out.
She goes, oh, I'll cook some dinner.
No, you won't.
You're going to sit down.
I'll cook you some dinner.
That way, what are you making her?
Okay, fine.
Fine.
Well, ramen noodles.
That's it.
Ramen hot.
There you go.
So tough.
Yeah.
When you said you were in Vegas for your sister's show,
is your sister performing? Yeah. So she's an artist. She sings a lot. Okay. This was like way
back when though. Oh god. Back in maybe 18 or 1920 somewhere around there. 2018 to the 1920.
Her name is Carlya. She does a lot of singing.
She's pretty cool.
Nice.
Okay.
Well, okay.
So your girlfriend's got a lot of stuff.
What does your dad think of this situation?
Oh, man.
I don't know.
I haven't asked him.
He comes around.
I'm making ramen.
I'm just minding my own business. I'm waiting for these. He comes around. I'm making ramen. I'm just mind
of my own business. I'm waiting for these egg to blow oil and he comes in and just,
hey, how's it going? And I jump out of my pants. I'm easily frightened. And we start talking.
And he goes, so you guys can eat anything else but ramen. And I go, that's all the woman
wants, man.
I said, that's good enough for me, man. That's good enough for me man. That's good enough for me.
Have you guys gone out on any fun events,
the three of you?
You guys gone on any dates where your dad's at third wheel?
No, thankfully no, thankfully from the Lord.
No, you know how awkward that would be?
Oh my goodness, we would not even talk. So a coworker
of mine said, Hey, you want to come out to Dave and bless us with me in my life. You can bring
your lady along too. I go, sure, let me ask her. And me knowing full well deep in doubt, she's
going to say no. I walk around the corner. I wait for about five seconds. Come back around,
you go, I go, yeah, no, I don't think so. She's got a whole lot playing on the table. Like what? I got to think of some
Lonzie, Lonzie, she's got a little laundry today. She can't come in on that weekend. How about the next weekend?
Yeah, the weather's not looking that good either. I'll have to pass on
Yeah, so why I mean, I'm gonna be honest. I don't know what ton of people that would turn down a Dave and Buster's in, Vy.
Why doesn't she wanna go to D&B?
Oh, dude, trust me, I would love to go in D&B.
You know, they got that guitar here.
I love to play Boston on there
and it looks like an absolute spoon
missing every other note.
But she doesn't like to socialize.
You have a stand side and pet my fat cat
and sit down and play games.
That's it.
I respect it.
I mean, that's less money for me, you know, but guitar hero.
Hey, man, I'll take, I'll take that any day.
Okay, since she's moved in, what's been the best moment?
What's been the worst moment?
Uh, okay.
Best moment, I think, is when she's taking a shower, I bust in, I pull my trousers down, I'm going to be a little bit more careful. Okay.
Best moment I think is when
she's taking a shower, I
bust in, I pull my trousers
down and I start taking a
big old wisdom in front of
her and she starts laughing
and yelling me to get out.
I tell her, all right, hold on
give me a second and then I
pop a squat and then think
of the entire room and then
leave afterwards.
The worst moment is she takes
up the whole goddamn bed. And I sleep in a king's side bed.
I feel like to eat chips in there all
once in a while.
I go, all right, yeah, go ahead.
You know, we have to be propped up a put a plan.
I go, yeah, go ahead.
Do you should bang?
Do you think whatever?
I go to sleep.
And me personally, I like to sleep like a free man.
I sleep buttole naked.
And I get some crumbs and every crumb and every crack in my own body.
I'm like, oh, dude, what is this?
It really affects my sleep.
As she takes up the entire bed,
which is impossible to do on a king's body,
but it's not like you do it anyway.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
No follow up questions.
Yeah.
Why? So that really affects your sleep on just crumbs everywhere.
Yeah, sometimes I'll lay down three seconds later. I feel like a cactus is singing me.
If I get up and I go, God, thanks. Crumbs all over me. I'm smackin. I'm hidden it. She
wishes it was her. I'm macking the hidden the bagging them all over the floor. I go, listen,
She was as it was her I'm back and hidden the bag in them all over the floor. I go listen next time Take it down to the dinner table. There is none next time. It's always the dinner table. It's the bed
So she's on a heavy diet of ramen noodles and chips is what it sounds like
And she's still skinnier than a twig, man. It's unbelievable. I wish I had that body. I'll tell you what
in a twig, man, it's unbelievable. I wish I had that body. I'll tell you what.
So the best moment, um, let's just repress a Vatican. Yeah, there's a lot of you're being in the shower and then you're squatting down.
What, what are you doing in the shower?
I'm taking a shit in the toilet and filling up the whole bathroom with my ass.
Got it. Okay. So now it sounds like though, yeah,
I'm going to sit on and do what she's though. Yeah. So this is an unbelievable move.
All right. So it sounds to me. She's in the shower. You go and you start peeing standing up.
And then at some point you decide to go number two and you reverse it and sit down on the toilet.
Is that accurate? Well, you see sometimes I like to switch it up and I like to pee standing, uh, sitting down and then
boot standing up.
But if I'm really feeling north of and I'll go ahead and do that, yeah, he's standing up and sit down and
really depends on the type of day.
So it gets pretty mad.
I mean, what is she under shower sooner?
I mean, I want to say, I want to say mad.
I will maybe a little bit mad.
I mean, she's red and I mean, you take, I don't know,
for example, let's say, I don't know your sister,
your brother, whatever, walks in,
well, I guess, right man, man, it's different.
But your sister walks in and she takes a big old honking
hoagie down to the toilet, thinking the entire place up.
You know, it's while you're taking a hot, skinny shower.
You know, that's not very nice,
because then you gotta immediately
hot out if you've finished.
You know, there's a whole process to it.
Well, that was gonna be my question.
Is she down the same road?
Does she retaliate with it?
No, no, no, no, no, that's a thing.
She won't even fart in front of me.
I'm like, when you're gonna,
when you're gonna pop a little suit in front of me,
she goes, why do you care so much? And I go, that means you're gonna, when you're gonna pop a little suit in front of me, she goes, why do you care so much?
And I go, that means you're comfortable around me.
You know, she goes, I will never do that.
This is because I don't think I'm ever gonna do that.
While I'm in front of her, babelade, let it rip.
You know?
Oh my god.
Have you guys gone on any dates since she's gotten there?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I actually just recently got back from city.
I took her up there because I brand new, like a Japanese ramen joint opened up.
I guess she's way more Asian than I am.
She's way more Asian than I am.
They go in and she sees all these figurines from all her different shapes, shows you
go, oh, this name, oh, this name, that name, I go, that's crazy.
They all look the same.
And she calls me racist for that.
But I don't understand
Fun story fun story two story went to a Chinese market with my mom She's full blooded Chinese and I lost her one time and I kept on walking around in the entire place
And I can only see the back of the head of them and I kept on thinking everything the one of them was my mom
But it wasn't I kept on going up to the same mom mom, they turned around and I see them like, Oh, sorry, my bad.
Oh, my bad.
Oh, sorry.
And I came up like a whistling thing.
You know, I whistle she was back.
It's kind of like an echo location type of deal.
It's a true story.
I'm not racist.
I swear.
What is what is your mom think?
What is your mom?
What your mom think? What is your mom think of that? What your mom say?
Think of the whole whistle situation. Yeah. You mean getting lost in a Chinese supermarket?
Both. Both. Both. Yeah. She fully understands. No, she fully understands. She fully understands. Who's I, actually?
Whose idea was it to do the whistle program?
I'm sorry, I said that one more time.
Whose idea was it to install the whistle technique?
Oh, me. I get, I oversink a lot.
And I get super confused.
And I go, all right, I'm just going to start whistling.
And then she whistles back
I'll do like I'll go I'll do like a
And then she'll whistle right back at me and like a lost dog to the owner
Neely sprint back in a finder. Yeah, I like that. I don't get a confused
Well, I was gonna say if you if you run into any issues of any gals thinking you're like cat calling them whistling at them
or has that been?
Yeah, a little 12 year old me is cat calling up guys
and girls were whistling at them.
That was like assistant I made when I was
a wee little little lab.
Oh, this is a while ago.
Okay.
Okay.
There's a long long time ago.
Okay. Okay, gotcha. Okay. Okay. Yeah, there's a long long time ago. Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, gotcha.
Okay.
All right.
Well, so I mean, this your girlfriend lives in Breeds,
Ramen Noodles.
I mean, I have never met anyone talk about Ramen
as much as you guys have.
Like, she's full on college students.
She's on the college students at
Adderall and Romney. So she's still in school. Is that I forget? She's still in school?
No, she's not in school. No, she is. What's she doing for a job? Did you get a job down there?
Not yet. I told her, hey, you know, well, she actually just got back from working a fireworks stand from late, late June to 4th of July.
So she got paid for that, like, I don't know what, $800, $700 for that much.
And then she came back and she was like, you might have like a weak vacation, I should.
I said, you know what, you brought home like $708 dollars. Uh, sure, I'll
let you go ahead and do that. But then you got to find a job. How do you find a job?
What are you thinking? What kind of job you thinking about trying to help or find?
I don't know. I have a friend that just started up her own nail-set business. I was like, hey,
you know, there's an old childhood,
we're not childhood, an old teenage friend of mine
that I knew during high school.
His girlfriend opened up like a nail salon business.
So, you know, I might talk to her
and see if I can get you a job there, would you be interested?
She goes, oh yeah, I'd love to do that.
I'd love to do that.
I'll go, all right, sure, yeah, I'll go ahead and talk to her.
I never did.
Yeah.
Why not?
I just forgot.
I'll be honest with you.
Okay, well, this is your reminder to call your buddy and see if he can get her a job.
Yeah, but that's a thing.
That means the king at Midwest could buy.
I'll tell you what, I go, hey, man, my old grandma, my 1999 grandmark, he can only fit about
like two boxes.
Could you, I'll buy you a 30 pack of your choice and if you, in like $40 worth of gas,
if you want to come up to KC, help me put some of her stuff in your truck and then drive
down to my place.
Now that's a 330 pack and 40 bucks of gas right there baby girl.
Here he goes.
Yeah, I might be able to do something like that.
Yeah, hold on.
Let me call you back. Hangs up in the never-referred body ever again. Okay. So that connection may no longer be there as what you're saying.
I mean it's there, but is it really though? That's the real question. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that you might have to find another lead on a job then. Yeah.
Well, I think that you might have to find another lead on a job then. Yeah.
Yeah.
Is she playing any applications in or anything like that?
No, not yet.
You see, there's a thing going on on my job, too.
The owner of the company recently came down to my department and said,
so we were told that you guys think you're the best department down here.
And I'm like, hold on now.
Now that I may believe that,
but I never said any of that.
Nobody at any in this department has said that to anybody.
I know how you got that unless you can read my mind
which I doubt you can, can't profess your ex.
But I've never said that about anything.
And then you said, well, I know you guys want raises
and I'm not wanting to come down here
and pat you guys on the back but you guys aren't doing a good job.
Like, there's another source like that.
So just basically you got told, yeah,
go screw yourselves and you're not
going to get paid or anything.
I go, all right, I'm going to find a new job.
And recently, I just went up to HRI woman.
She goes, why is your fault isn't lacking so much?
I go, well, this is the reason why.
That's the reason why they go, huh?
Too bad. I go, scam. All right. So, we'll see what's going to happen. I'm, I'm applying to a
couple of other places and see if they can get a job there. But a lot of my coworkers have seen
that clip. The guys posted on your Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, stuff, so forth. And they really,
thoroughly enjoyed it and keep on telling me that I should come up,
you're gonna give them a supervised saw at one point.
Yeah, I think I said this on the last podcast you should.
You should get up there.
There's some clubs in Kansas City, you know,
just start to an open mic.
And just start talking about your life, honestly.
Yeah, maybe right up here.
Yeah, but what do I start out with?
You know, I can't be like Larry David
and walk up to a stage.
Look at everybody and say,
they're mine and Waka.
I gotta start with, I got like no material.
I don't know what to do.
Well, here we go, Charlie.
This is your wheelhouse, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're talking to a...
Yeah, I'm coming from the Charles, you didn't talk.
Yeah, you're coming.
This is a decorated stand-up comedian you have on the line.
So Charlie, give him some advice.
Well, first bit of advice is write five facts about yourself and then write punch lines to that.
You know, so write five facts and then just try and write a quick punch line.
Less words is better. That should give you something around three minutes, which should be a good
thing to kind of get your bearings. You know, a lot of the stand up, the open mics give you three
to five minutes. So that's a good start right there. And the other thing you got remember
is you're going to get up the first time and you might bomb horrendously. I have a feeling
you can probably just keep talking yourself into, you know, into some jokes, you know, like
if you just get up there and start talking, you might find some jokes. I won't rely on that
necessarily, but just get up there and you want to be comfortable bombings. You want to be comfortable
getting up there and nobody laughing and just holding your own. I think you'd be good
at that. And here's a question. Has anyone ever in their hot five just gone up and only
done crowd work? Because I think you could be the guy. Yeah. I mean, Ethan, you could definitely
get up there and do some crowd work. That's for sure. But if the crowd definitely thought about that,
I don't really lie on that. Yeah, you, you, right. So just start writing so know that you can
probably do some crowd work and fill the five. Here's the thing you're going to want to do is
record every single set you do because you might might find some jokes, some things you say
on the fly that you forget after you say it, but it was really funny the way you said
it, because you get this adrenaline when you kind of are up on stage, no one's laughing
and you got to like dig yourself out of the hole, you get this little adrenaline hit.
And sometimes that helps you find some really good jokes, but you want to record it because
you'll forget it shortly thereafter.
I say give it a go man, you're a funny dude.
I'm definitely thinking about it.
A lot of people have said that I'd definitely be good at it.
I said, we'll see.
You know, it's, I don't know.
I gotta really do it.
And if I go out there and I bomb then I bomb.
No, I'm just guessing the city.
I'm never gonna see these people again. And if I do, that's really an awkward run in. I don't know. I mean, I
think that that's the right mentality to have. I think. Yeah, just go do it. You don't need
to think. Look up where there's an open mic. Can't wait. Is Kansas City closest city to you?
Is that right? A populated city near me, yeah.
All right. Go to Kansas City and
do an open mic. Yeah, just Google
Kansas City open mic. I'm doing it right
now. I'll give you an option here.
Kansas City open mic.
All sorts open mic. Friday 630 to
930. Poetic underground open mic
night plus poetry. So, you know, you can also do and the and the and the
and the
and the
and the
and the and the
and the
and the
and the and the
and the and the
and the and the
and the and the and the and the and the and the and the and the I'm thinking about just doing like a ticket modeling business, you know, letting people be my after-free. I actually know I get paid 35 bucks for that.
What?
What?
How did we get to nude modeling, Ethan?
Were you done nude modeling?
Is that what you said?
Ah, no, but I mean, hey, it's 2023, you know?
You know, some people like some good old blue collar beard, bell-ey Asian looking fellas,
you know? They want to see that little gut
with a little bit of stretch marks to the dome.
Yeah, I mean, hey, I don't know, you know,
you know, he thinks messing around,
and I'm not gonna do that.
You can do something on it.
It sounds like he wants to spread his cheeks
on only fans, you know, it sounds like.
I would be worried about the new motto
and cause you might get crumbs everywhere.
That's what I'm gonna say.
Hey, you know, some people are into that.
Yeah, it might be your niche.
Crumming crumbs in the ground.
Yeah, that could be my niche.
That could be my niche.
Crumbs in crack.
Yeah, there you go.
That's my handle right there.
Well, Ethan, we're very excited for you, man.
How old are you again?
22, 23, 24, 25?
Somewhere around there, but like minus one. I'm like 21 22 23
Okay, yeah, well you got a bright future ahead of you my man. Yeah, get out there to that open my god
It's on the 14th. What what or what day is today? It's 11 you got three days get it over there
All right, and what's the place called?
Jesus Charlie is now your manager over there. Alright, and what's the place called?
Jesus. Charlie is now your manager. All sorts open my manager for the short. I'll pay how you like five bucks. Alright, listen, all sorts open Mike.
Get there. It's 639 30. Get there early. Get there at six o'clock to sign up
toasted by local Iris Applequist.
Sign up 630, nevermind, shows at seven.
So get there, 630, sign up.
You'll probably have three to five minutes.
Write those facts about yourself.
Or just go riff.
But all you got to do is get up on stage.
That's the hardest part.
Just give it a go.
Get up on stage.
All right, I can do that.
And one more time to place, because you cut out.
Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm hard. I can do that. One more time to place because you cut out. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm
hard. I'm harder here. Charlie, now you know how your manager feels. It's all sorts open
Mike. It's 20 all sorts open Mike. That's what it's called. The pH coffee. So it must be at this coffee house, pH coffee,
2200 Lexington Avenue, Kansas City, Missouri.
Looks like it's Friday nights, 630 to 930.
So you got a few days.
All righty.
Okay.
All right, I got a few days to prep.
Yeah.
Also, we want another update on how the stand up goes.
So next time we're recording in a couple of months,
you got to call in again, and then we can get an update.
You know what?
Stand up when.
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
You should film your set.
Bring your girlfriend with you.
Have her film your set, and then we can analyze your set
right here on the Belly to a podcast.
How's that sound? You said anal. Sorry, I'm usually distracted. Yeah, I'll be more than willing to do that.
I'll be more than willing to do that. Sorry, am I bad? I get easily distracted. I'll be more
than willing to do that. I'll have her a film that for me. And she's been very supportive about it.
She told me that I could probably do well. So she thinks you're funny too.
very supportive about it. She told me that I could probably
do well. So she thinks you're
funny too. What? She thinks
you're funny then too, because
my wife does not think I'm
funny. Yeah, she, uh, she thinks
I'm pretty funny. She goes
gas and your jokes lands and
your jokes don't land with me.
I go, all right, I'll remember
that next time. But taking a
dump during the shower always
lands. That joke always lands.
I'm going to warn you about it it a lot of times it doesn't
all right yeah you go work the crown lies no I'll go all right
all right Ethan thank you very much for your time boys boys. That's for calling in. Thank you again, man. We'll see. We'll see how you're doing. Good.
All right. Bye bye now.
Bye bye now.
Bye.
Oh, good kid.
I am so glad he called back in.
I am too.
He I love that kid.
He's a great fella.
Great fellow.
He's going to get out there.
He's going to bomb a few times.
I he might not though.
He's
what every look at everybody bombs at some point doing stand up
So he's gonna have to do that you want a bomb some point. Yeah, I don't know
We might have found our Justin Bieber. Yeah
I I think I gotta take him to the my hope he does it. I hope he films it and it'd be great to watch
I would I want to see it. I want to air it live
This five days should we go down to the city and show up and just be like, where are
you? He doesn't show up. I'm a couple two, three, four, five hundred miles away. Oh,
it's good to talk to him again. The internet, the internet, they like Ethan. I like Ethan
too. Me as well. He was able to come back on. So guys, what a way to end this episode of belly it up.
And I don't know.
Yeah.
You know what's just everybody cross your fingers for Ethan as he ventures into this new
new job potentially.
Yeah.
We should have what we forgot to do is tell him not to quit yet.
He's other job.
Yeah.
It kind of sounded like he was putting all the things that basketball.
Hopefully he doesn't quit that other job until he could bomb a few
times and then start to take off. He's a smart guy. I think he'll figure it out.
Hopefully he listens to his podcast. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see. Yeah. Well, guys,
thanks for tuning into another episode of the Belly Up podcast. Charlie, I might
have to try the old taking a number two while the wife's in the show.
I can't say I recommend that. And I think Anne would, um, you know, smack you around a little for that.
She'd be pissed. Oh, mad. She runs the show in that relationship.
Yeah. A little bit. I watched her beat your ass and pickleball yesterday.
Okay. You were sweating up. She's hot out out she didn't break us wet the wind was not my favorite was a whole thing, okay?
So just the ball as holes in it the wind's not an issue
All right, all right well as
Don't forget to tip your bartenders and see you next one. Yeah, bye. No
Nelson.