Bellied Up - Don't Fight The Bouncer #91
Episode Date: March 7, 2024We're at Woody's Bar in Fargo, ND. The first caller has tried all options to find the right guy, so we come up with an unconventional approach. The next caller provides a Bellied Update, and o...ur advice actually worked wonders. The last caller is a bouncer wondering what to do when a drunk picks a fight with him, safely diffuse the situation. Get yourself a "Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens" Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click Here Check Out Myles' other Podcast You Betcha Radio Check Out Charlie's other Podcast Cripescast
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey folks, here we are. We're another bellied up podcast. I'm so excited because we're at
Woody's right now. Miles, how do you feel? Which I know you'd like that name. I'm very
excited about it, folks. How excited, very excited. If I am, let's just say never mind.
It's a very appropriate name for the situation is what you're saying. That's how excited
you are. Yeah. Cause I like woodpeckers. Okay. And Woody is the name of my favorite
woodpecker. Miles, I do have a question for you. What is your Midwest pet peeve? And while
you're thinking of it, I'll give you mine. Okay, so you're at a bar, you're at a party.
All right. And you bring up the fact that you caught a fish or that you know of fish
existing in the world. And someone says, Oh, yeah, fish. Well, hang on. I got to let me
show you what I caught the other day, hang on. And then they open up their phone. Now
look, seeing fish picks is not my pet peeve.
My pet peeve is when they're just we're mid conversation. They're like, hang on, I'll
find it. And then they must go through years of photos.
45 minutes. Yeah. And you're just standing there. I'm like,
how what the hell am I? And they're barely listening to you. So you can't have a conversation
with here. You try it with me. Talk about. So here I got a tip on how to fix this, Charlie.
Well, you, you be me. I'll be the guy doing it. You fix it.
Oh yeah. It was up in Sheboygan and I caught a nice old perch up there.
No kidding.
Hang on. I caught a perch too. I was the size of I, I, I chewed you not.
Hey, I was about a, about 16 inch parts biggest one I ever caught. Hey,
I'm, let me find the picture for you
Here I'm gonna turn away from you. So you can't see the dirty photos on my phone
Okay, hey, that's not it. Oh
Yeah, no, no, hang on now. Oh
You know what I think it was from what day was that?
Hey on what day were we over in Wampaka? Oh
All right, now it I was last year then. Is it you got it on there? It's coming. It's coming. It should I kind of got to take a
leak?
Oh, you gotta go. Yeah. Yeah. If you gotta go take a week, take a week. I'll get it by
the time you get back. And it goes on and on like this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you gotta go take a week, take a week, I'll get it by the time you get back.
And it goes on and on like this. Yeah. For for a long time.
That actually happened to me in South Dakota when I was pheasant hunting.
Yeah. It wasn't a fish pick, but a guy told me that he had a
seabring convertible.
And I was bragging about that.
Yeah. Well, no.
So he was because so he was saying that he had a convertible and I jokingly was like,
what is it? A sea bring and he was like, yeah, it is.
And, you know, because I'm thinking of my head, like Michael Scott thinks his
sea bring luxurious convertible. Yeah. And he took 45 minutes to find it.
To find the picture of his convertible. Ryan guy And he took 45 minutes to find it. To find the picture
of his convertible. And Ryan guy works for me can confirm this story. He was there too.
And what were you guys doing while he was looking? We were just drinking, you know,
and then he didn't talk for 45 minutes. And then all of a sudden he found it and it wasn't
that good of a photo. So, but regardless, I got a tip for you. If they got an iPhone,
But regardless I got a tip for you if they got an iPhone all you got to do is
Tight there's a search bar. You just type in fish and it'll pull up all your fish picks. What the fuck
All right, it works. No way fish
Did it what the frick dude look at all these fish packs
Look how easy that was. I just solved your pet peeve dude. Do you want to see this trout I caught? Yeah. Look at that. That is a golden
trout and then them are rare. That was up in the mountains that I caught that look at
that. You want to see a musky I caught. Okay. So look at that's my brother's wall. I'm tiny.
It is compared to that. That was my dad's musky. My cousin's bass. I don't know where I got that perch. See, we just eliminated
your pet. That's a nice, that's a nice smally. That's Charlie and his element right there.
Oh yeah. I caught that first cast dude. Are you happy that you don't got to deal with
that anymore now? All you got to deal with that anymore?
Now all you got to do is say, Hey, just search fish at the top. It'll pop up.
So you're welcome for eliminating your pet peeve. I mean, I'm almost sad now because
you have nothing to complain about. Yeah. Well, what's your pet peeve, Miles? So I would say my biggest Midwest pet peeve is when someone buys around the shots.
Mm hmm.
And it's not that, you know, I love doing around the shots with people.
But they always when they tend to pick a shot that no one really likes.
Rumpelmans. Yeah.
Stuff like that. Just give me something that straight down the middle.
I also am not a big like straight tequila shot guy.
Any tequila?
I mean, if it's nicer and fancier, yeah, it doesn't taste like tequila.
No, I'm with you.
It's tequila shots that taste like tequila, which is the problem.
The Welsh don't don't order around the shots and have it be the nastiest.
Yeah, I think it's for a group
of people. If you like that, go ahead. But if for a group of people, I think that just getting
like something that's also maybe a little bit fruitier or got a little more sugar in it usually
plays over pretty well. You know, like you're doing a Chuck Norris shot. There's some other
stuff mixed into it. You're one of those. I
will do a whiskey shot straight though. Don't get me wrong. I like a good whiskey. It's more
like the tequila's and you know, I honestly don't really like it when people buy shots
for we're just in general. Well, I, I yeah, cause it's 36. I can't handle it. Yeah. I'm like, if I wanted a
shot, I would have gotten a shot by now. I guarantee you, I'm, this isn't going to go
over well tomorrow and I'm going to sit here and have to pretend. Then if you don't take
it, they're like, Oh, you're a badge. I'm like, yeah, I am, you know, my liver don't
work good. I'm old. Get over it. Now, one time though, I did. It was kind of an off the wall shot for me.
I don't have I don't live in Wisconsin.
So it wasn't as much.
But remember, we were doing bellied up in Milwaukee on your birthday
and everyone got a Blackberry brandy shot.
That was like that one.
Now, I will say I will take one of those shots.
Those shots put you in a different place mentally.
I think they have some hallucinogens in them or something.
How, if you get a shot, you don't like,
I'm not somebody who treats alcohol like it's, you know,
the host in church or something, you have to consume it.
I'll take it.
Okay.
That's just disrespectful.
See, yeah.
So I'm not that way.
I don't really care.
And if it's the end of the night and people bring shots over and I don't want to take it, I'm not that way. I don't really care. And if it's the
end of the night and people bring shots over and I don't want to take it, I'm not friggin
taking it. Now, Charlie's now in the bathroom for 20 minutes. Yeah, I know. So sometimes
I'll do this. Sometimes I'll be like, Yeah. And, uh, you know, how do you actually throw
it over your shoulder? If I'm outside. Yeah. Well, yeah. If I'm outside a thousand percent, cause no one's
looking other times, I will just give it to somebody else or just be, you know, I'm,
I'm, I'm, I'm, every time we're doing shots together, I'm going to keep an eye out for
you and I ain't going to let it pass. If you and I are doing shots together, it's
cause I want to do shots. That's probably true. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's just when, when
I, you know, you can get 10 people coming up to you in a night with, uh, with shots. That's probably true. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's just when, when, you know, you can get 10 people coming up to you in a night with, with shots. I'm like, I, I'm old guys.
That is one thing I had to learn as I started doing, you know, content, you start getting
more followers and you meet people who follow you at the bar. When I first started, I would
accept everything and I had to learn the hard way that it's
okay to say no once in a while because otherwise you are a puddle at the end of the night.
And then your next day, you got to get up and do podcasts with Charlie and you're a
POS and it just doesn't go well. So yeah, it's one of the unfortunate parts of what
we do, Charlie, is we got to say no once in
a while.
We got to say no once in a while.
It's sad, but I'll take a beer.
Can we get a shot of Rumpelmans over here?
Yeah.
All right.
Should we take some colors?
That sounds good.
Welcome to the BellyDot podcast.
Who are we chitchatting with today?
Hi, my name is Ann.
Ann?
Yep. Hi, Ann. How are you doing?
I'm doing great. How are you?
Oh, I'm doing good. I'm sitting here at the bar, Woody's, to be specific with my good
buddy Miles. And we're hoping you'll belly up to the bar with us and tell us what's on
your mind.
Absolutely. All right. I kind of have a two part question for
you guys. Yeah, we can handle two parts. All right. Okay. How would you advise a woman in her mid 30s
trying to find a decent man in the same age? You know, we get this call a lot.
You know, we get this call a lot. I'm starting to think if someone has the real answer for this, they can make a lot of money,
Charlie.
I know if I we were talking not too long ago, Ann, about doing a bellied updating app,
you know, or live dating, speed dating at one of our shows.
Yeah, because we are going to be dating.
We're getting a lot of these.
Well, let's first start with what have you tried?
Yeah.
Let's see. Dating off.
They can be quite creepy.
Going out to bars, meeting people, kind of hitting this.
You have more people better in their late 30s or sorry, late 20s.
So let's see,
dating apps, those can be a little bit weird, not you know your best choice for dating. Most men
nowadays aren't really looking for anything serious on dating apps, but I kind of leave the bars
and where I live, it's a lot of 20 year olds versus, you know, 30 year old.
Yeah. Where do you live? New Jersey. Not far from the city.
All right. So those meeting in person and meeting online haven't worked. I don't know what's left.
Well,
I don't know what's left. Well,
OK, medium person.
Thanks for the advice, guys. Yeah, yeah, we'll talk to you soon.
I'll make your screwed.
No, no.
What? OK, let's let's, you know, now we can get a little bit more
customized with your situation.
Well, what are you looking for?
I think we got a if you are going going to go, uh, hot, hot and
for pheasant, are you going to go to Manhattan, New York? No, to hunt for pheasant. No, um,
but she's in New Jersey. No, I know. But what I'm saying is you would go to South Dakota
and you would go to a field and there would be pheasant there. That's you're saying you're going to bars and there's a bunch of 20 year olds
there. You need to find the bars with mid 30 year olds at. Yeah. I know where any of
those are. Yeah, but then you have the problem of it's mostly married men. Yeah, I suppose. Well, is that a problem for you? Okay, good. That was a
test.
That was a test and you pass. Nice work. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, where are
you? Where are you from originally? Kansas. You're from Kansas. So you're looking for
maybe a Midwest guy potentially. Yeah. Sure.
All right. Well, now here's, here's a good tip. You should Google what is the Packers
bar in New Jersey. And then you could find yourself a nice Midwestern fellow there. And
let's see. I can't do that right now. Yeah. Cause you got Packers game coming up, uh,
this weekend at the time of this filming. I know this is coming out later, but you can
get yourself, or if you're a Kansas fan, you know, growing up in Kansas, the, the J Hawks,
maybe they have a J Hawks bar. You can find someone with that local connection, you know?
I think the other thing you do is there's
a lot of married men at the bar. Just start, you know, when someone is missing a dog and
they put up flyers all over town and then the number thing that you can just pull off
the thing, you got to start stapling that to the wall and saying that only single guys only take a number. They
can take your number right off of the wall on the piece of paper. Miles, that's a brilliant
idea. Treat yourself like a missing dog. Yeah. Yeah. You or Miles or or a nice used boat,
you know. And I don't love the word. Wow. Okay. No.
I know. And, and I didn't mean it like that. Jesus, Charlie.
I didn't mean it like that. What I mean is nobody's selling a used boat at the bar or
nobody's selling a new boat at the bar. You know, that would be a boat dealer. Okay. And
that would be, that would be even weirder if I said and find a dealer for
dating, right? So and by the way, both of you should be ashamed of yourselves. There are a lot
of good used boats out there. So that's not an insult at all. We didn't have anything against
the use boat. It was the fact that you're probably me a used boat. I think it's the really tough look.
No, but why are you insulted by that?
Cause the used boats are really nice.
You know, so it was a compliment.
I think he was more insulted than I was.
I think this is what we call the old backpedal by Charlie.
No, no, you guys should be backpedaling,
insulting used boats.
I mean, used boats are fantastic.
And the, the, the, you, we're all used, you know, ever since we came out the deal when we were born, we've been used.
So you could also, I mean, you could. So you've tried online, you've tried in person. I think
you need to go the traditional marketing route. I think you gotta start mail, you doing boots on the ground, the missing dog,
missing love is what I would call it,
the missing love sign,
but a photo yourself on there,
the numbers they can take,
and then just start maybe investing in mailers
that you just send in the mail to different households.
I like where you're going with this, Miles.
And on the mailer, it says, you know, are you looking for love or know someone who's
looking for love? Because if they get a thing in the mail and it's like, you know, love
piece of mail that comes in, the wife's going to be mad at the husband if he said to a house
that's married. But if it said, or you know someone who's looking for love, that
blanket across the board.
You'd be like, Oh, Han, isn't Tom single now? You know, and that's how it would start.
And I like where you're going with this traditional advertising. Have you ever thought about a
billboard, Ann? Yeah, we know a guy. Oh my God. No, are you sure? We would love to sponsor a billboard for you. You pick the
city and Miles and I will pay for it. Yeah. You send us a picture, a JPEG. We'll put you
on a billboard. Where do you want to live? You know, you guys can pick in New Jersey
for me. How about that? North Jersey, in North Jersey? Somewhere in North Jersey? Okay. So she is on board with us. Okay.
But if you guys saw this advertisement with the on a billboard or if, you know, say I walked up to
you on a bar and handed you my call it like a dating resume, how likely are you to actually call me?
If you walk into a bar and hand us a resume?
Yeah, like a dating resume resume. Yeah, we did.
He was a man.
We didn't.
We never suggested that at all.
Well, you suggested a male or Miles.
So that might be what you're just saying.
Hey, I'm looking for love.
Yeah.
I OK.
But what if what if this because miles, we have so many singles that call this.
What if we pick a single per like quarter
and it's the bellied up featured single
and then they find love that way
and it's just by us buying them a billboard and it's, you know
and we so, okay, so we have a billboard
you're cruising down the road.
What are the three like bullet points
you're gonna put on that?
What do you like to do?
Let's see, I have two dogs. So hiking, camping.
I probably just think of something else to be the lake.
Kind of all three together though. Okay. Yeah. Outdoorsy. Outdoorsy.
It's better in marketing campaigns if you just have one thing to focus on too. True. True.
Do you love the outdoors? And then, well, do we got a gal for you? And it's a pick with you and
your, your dogs. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Oh yeah. Cause I mean, I think so. You know,
I mean, I'll tell you what them dogs are a good draw too. You know, I mean, you're, you're obviously a great draw yourself,
but I'm just saying dogs are nice added, added benefit for dog lovers and special, what species
dog you got going? Cattle dog in a lab. Cattle dog in a lab. That's cool. Well, I tell you what,
you take a picture or you got a good picture with you and your pooches, you send it over to us. What's the email Jared?
Bellieduppod at gmail.com.
Bellieduppod at gmail.com. You think about this, Ann, if you're interested, we're, we'll
look at billboards.
So I've been thinking about this resume thing. It kind of sparked an idea. Oh, good
Miles. So I mean, we're, this is a free thinking spitballing session here. We're idea machines
over here. You know, you can accept it or you can send it right back. Yeah. I need you
to get into as many job interviews as possible. And you, your whole goal is that you're just
trying to find love in these job interviews. And you know, usually say a line like, you
know, if this doesn't work out, you're kind of cute, would love to take you out sometime.
Could try it that way. A little unconventional. That's not because if you say that one, you're
not getting the job. Yeah. You know, which
is what you want because you already have a job. And two, it's like you actually get
to go on dates every week because you're just, they're not job interviews. They're dates
speed dating. And then there is going to be maybe one out
of 20 that will take you up on the date. Yeah. I think you're going back to your speed dating idea though. Exactly.
New form of speed dating. Oh, hang on, Miles. Yeah. Hang on. Anne has two dogs. And how
many dog parks are you going to? On a weekly basis? None anymore because of the respiratory
virus or coronary animals. Oh, for frick's sake, what?
Did they have cold and numb?
I'll just throw a mask on that doggy.
Yeah, put the masks on your dogs and also,
ah, geez, when the hell did that happen?
Yeah, okay.
A couple months ago.
All right, so dog parks are closing down?
Oh, they're not closing down. I just choose not to take my notes. I did not close it down.
I just choose not to take my notes.
We're going to go seven.
Respectable.
Yeah, it is respectable.
All right.
Well, there goes that idea.
Well, I mean, this is approach we've never taken
on this podcast.
We got a lot of people looking for love,
but I think the traditional marketing way
could be the way, Charlie.
I think so.
And you got to send us a picture of you and your pooch is if you can't take
him to dog parks, we got to find a nice bubble for your dog with another fella, you know,
and maybe his. All right.
Okay. What do you think of those ideas? I like it. I am not opposed to them. Okay.
That is a big surprise to me. I thought this
was not going to be something you're interested in, but here we are. Charlie. Why do you think
that though? I mean, women are, I wouldn't say desperate, but it's a lot harder to meet
men nowadays, especially after COVID and we're dating out. So why, why do you think that?
Well, I just thought that we wouldn't be well, no, no, just you slapping your face on a billboard especially after COVID and we're dating out. So why do you think that's something
that we wouldn't be going for?
No, just you slapping your face on a billboard
saying you're looking for love.
I didn't know if you were gonna go with.
I don't, it doesn't matter a guy or a gal.
I don't know if they were, but I like it.
You know what?
What I say for it myself, probably not.
But if you guys were doing it, I know it.
Oh yeah.
We got you comfortable here. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We got you. Absolutely
would do it. And you know what? I know what you're saying with this and the dating apps
are really make it a very impersonal situation and everyone's like next best thing next best
thing. You know, it's a weird it's a weird thing we've set up for ourselves.
So, you know, we're just trying to,
Oh, you're experiencing it too?
Oh, I've experienced it. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you know this, but I'm divorced.
Miles probably told you a thousand times. I think Miles always brings it up.
Yeah, he does. Anytime he's feeling sad about himself, he's like,
wait, Charlie's a bigger failure than me. And then reminds me of it. So I feel for you. We feel for
you. And we think we're trying to change things and bring it more in person. We're going to put
just your phone number up there on that billboard. Just thinking about all the things we're doing
for the dating scene now, Charlie, we're going to do live speed dating sessions. We're going to be have a billboard program. It sounds
like I think we're doing good stuff for the dating community. Revolutionary miles. We're
taking it away from the applications and back IRL. We're telling people to touch grass
and get some mass, you know, so. That is our motto.
Yeah.
We just decided.
All right.
Well, cool.
And we'll send us that picture and we'll find you a billboard.
We will.
Oh, thanks guys.
All right.
Bye bye now.
What would you think Charlie,
if you're driving down the road and you saw an ad
for just dating a gal?
I mean, miles. You'd have to at least see what all the hooploes about. Yeah. I guarantee
you that she's going to find some love through that. Now the question is she can bet them
and I think of, you know, you put out a misconnections or looking for love on Craigslist. We should have brought up Craigslist. That was dumb of us. Damn it. But you get a lot of unworthy candidates. Oh, sure. Oh, sure. So we'll have
to set up some sort of vetting system and doesn't have more miles. We'll be the vetting system.
I think on this podcast, we the when when it happens, we'll take the, the applicants and we'll
calm and we'll vet them. We'll do that for a bit on this, you know?
That would actually be funny. That would be great.
All right. And we'll make it happen.
Here we go. Just solving problems for the world.
That's all we can do.
Should we take another one?
Welcome to the BellyDub podcast, who we got on the line today.
Well, it's about time you guys
picked up and trying to reach about your car's extended warranty. Oh, I knew I should have
called you back on that. How's that going fellow? Well, it's going good. Who are we talking
to? You're talking to Ike. I'm a repeat caller. Ike. What's up? Ike going on. Thanks for calling back.
A couple. I got a couple of questions for you, boy. Okay.
So a while ago last spring, I gave you guys a call about a wedding date and I gave miles
a lot of, a lot of heckling and I just want to apologize to my old if he's listening.
He is listening.
I continue on.
I'm sorry, Miles.
I, I, I, I was harsh on you the last time.
Well, that means a lot.
Um, I, I'm sorry.
But time heals everything.
So I forgive you.
And well, hold on now.
So I called about a wedding date a long time ago and one person
reached out. All right. And I just moved in with her and our first date, I gave her a
miles hoodie and she loves the goddamn hood. Wait a second. This train up.
You're the guy who called a little while ago about needing a date to a wedding.
Is that you?
Yes, sir.
And we, and did we have you put your information out here and somebody reached out to you?
Yeah, but only one.
So I am kind of upset with your call.
I mean, no one else
Wait, so wait, you're dating her and you're still upset about this
And it's one of them grudges that you know, I can only hold for so long
I I was only gonna hold it until you guys picked up the phone again. Okay, so hold on
someone actually reached out because you were on the podcast.
You guys went on a date and you now live together. Is that what you said?
Correct. My, my, oh, message. She messaged me the day that podcast came out. I was at
work and about, I was, I would say about a couple months. I would say two months
later I flew up and we had our first date and then right before Halloween just moved
in with her.
Miles were matchmakers. Dude. Matches made in not heaven. That's
So you had to fly to her. where did you fly from and to well that's a good
part I was living in Texas and she is in the very controversial part of the Midwest
Illinois someone called st. Louis oh shane Louis. She's right on. She is right on the line. I think
I don't think Missouri belongs in the Midwest, but I'm glad she's not here. She would fight
me on that. Yeah, I think Missouri's in the Midwest. We need, we'll take anyone we can
get. Right. Okay. So you fly up there and you fall in love is what it sounds like. So
did you move to St. Louis? I did. Okay. I moved in with her. This is a double beggar here. I know we found love
and we brought more people to the Midwest, Charlie. Yeah. Plus we found them an apartment.
So that's pretty cool too. Okay. So what, how's it going? How is the dating with this
girl going? Oh, so far. She hasn't killed me yet. That's good.
That is good. Yeah. It's been, it's been, it's been pretty good. You know, it was long
distance for a while then just the time to move up. So what do you like better? Long
distance or short distance? I think price wise and even though cause plane
tickets are expensive. I wasn't asking about the price. How about relationship wise? Cause
sometimes it's easier. Oh, I thought you were putting a lot. Oh, okay. My bad. Yeah. You
know how they say distance makes the heart girl fonder. Well, when you're in the same house that that
distance goes away and that's the true test right there.
No, things have been going real good, real good. And so far, I'm not sure if I'm liking the
winters, even though I am from Wisconsin, but you know, a couple of years without snow and I'm kind of used to it. So I'm not, not a huge
fan of a snowy guy. Okay. So you are what I would call a success story here on the belly
to podcasts. I want we, we just had a, I would, we just had a caller who seemed a little frustrated
looking for us to help them find love. What advice would you give
out to all those listeners out there that are looking for love and now that you've found
it, what advice would you give them? Get off the app, find creative ways to meet people
and even if it's over a podcast or in your backyard, I mean, just get off the internet for God's sake.
That's some good advice.
Yeah, but don't shut off the podcast, keep that going,
but everything else on the internet.
Right. Yeah, yeah.
We're not offering titillating pictures.
We're offering, you know, audio titillation and there's a difference in that right and and and the thing is if if
She ever gets on the podcast which we've tried for
Countless hours and whatnot to try and get on and because I've had a couple
I've had a couple guys reach out to see if it works. I just told them it did.
So I don't know what's really going on with the dating site.
I mean, I had to call a podcast to find the one.
Dude, this is like, did we just stumble on a new part of our show?
I think we didn't. Now that I'm thinking about it, I forgot we
should have asked them for her email, but we're getting her a billboard. So it'll be
fine. Yeah. We are. We need to make it our mission to do exactly what we did here to
hook up those who have, you can't be hooked up in the traditional sense. And by the way,
that's a lot of people. welcome to the anti apps podcast apps screw the
Also, can I circle back you asked me?
What what advice I would give oh?
Another piece of another the last piece of advice I would take is
Get on a plane
The person you might love is in another state or drive or drive,
you know, get really. I think the moral stories get moving. Good things come to those who move.
You're not going to find anyone swiping on the, on the app. You know what I mean? Get on a train and get in that dining car, you know,
you never know. Train in automobile. Sure. I guess that is true. Horses too. There's
no judgment. Don't get roller blades. No, no judgment. Healy. Yeah, I skate ice skates Healy's on ice snow machines. Sure
That's the last thing here. I like it man. Well, we're really happy for you. We are this is great news
Yeah, before we let you go. Is there anything else that we can help you with?
Didn't even get to the questions Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had a couple, I had a couple of questions. Miles didn't even get to the questions. We know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got two questions.
So we, we noticed that Charlie, you have a couple of shows coming up in spring here in
Wisconsin and I'm, I might try and convince her to go with me. Uh-huh, but if things keep going the way that they're going all for fuck
What are the chances I couldn't I could maybe feel your thunder for a couple of seconds to maybe
Maybe consider the idea of proposing to her
Holy smoke. This is serious
What what what would that go okay with your show or would that take
away from your thunder? Trust me. It would be fine in the show. I would welcome a proposal.
Trust me. Charlie's already having trouble coming up with material. So this should fill
his hour. No problem.
This will be good by 18 minutes. He'll spend on this.
Yeah. Now let me just say my hour is going fine, but I would always
welcome a proposal. And there's a backstory to it. There's a great backstory. Now I got
a, I wouldn't, I'd be a little remiss if I didn't throw out a cautionary flag here, you know, given my history. Marriage ain't something
you want to rush into, but a proposal is fine. So you can propose and there's no financial
obligations there. Just make sure it's a long engagement. Okay.
All right. I'll make sure I'll make sure it's a real long engagement.
There we go. Well, that's why I asked that a thing
if things keep going the way that they're going, maybe I'll catch the convention. We'll
have to find tickets or something one way to get up there. But yeah, no look if you
love to I go ahead and I'll hook you up with tickets. If you decide that's what you guys want to do. If you want to come all the way up to Wisconsin, you, you guys know email us at ship. What's the email again?
Belly.pod at gmail.com. And I put it in my, I put it in my, my notes there. I put it in my my notes there. Okay. I put it in my roller deck. Okay. I like that
He's an old-school guy no apps no contacts just a roller just walking around with a roll of decks
I'm too nervous to get back out in the dating world. So I'm not as well just keep her
That's always a good reason to get married. So you don't got to have to do any more dating. I like that. Well, man, this is, this is awesome.
I'm excited for this is moving quick. Yeah. And Charlie, I think that that's going to
be a fun little event. I, you're one of your shows. I mean, it'll be fun for me. I you,
you might want to make sure your fiance kind of maybe knows
something like this might be coming. I mean, she won't listen to the podcast. That was
actually one of our date things when we were long distance every Thursday when the podcast
come out, we would have date night and listen to the podcast together.
And wait, now she doesn't listen to the podcast dude. Cause this is going to be out there. She's going to listen to it.
Oh, I know way. She'll listen to it. Okay. Well, we're too busy working. We're both too
busy working. All right. Good to know. We know she won't. I know she won't listen. Okay.
All right. She listened to and she found what she needed and then cool like well that sounds good. That
sounds good. Yeah, man. Good luck with the relationship unless know if it progresses to that point.
Oh, we'll do it. And one last thing. If it comes to it, are either of you
or Dean, I knew that was coming miles is not, But with that, if you can get it to the finish
line, we can have that discussion. All right. All right. Well, I figured it would be a full
circle thing. If you know, we met on the podcast through you guys and all that crap. Well,
she's still got to say yes there, Mr. So yeah, she got it. I know, I know she will. Okay.
I know she will. She would have, she would have said after the first, after the second
date. Okay. Wow. Some confidence. I like it. All right.
Yeah. She's got a lot of it. All right. Well, good luck. We look forward to Charlie letting
your proposal to show. Oh, yeah. I'll have to email her. Make sure you
mail him. Sorry, Charlie. Yeah. I'll have to email him once I know. And if I can get
her butt up there too, a bit bit of a hike, but not too bad.
All right. Well, thanks for calling in, man. We're really happy for you and good luck.
I'm a great one. You too. Watch out for deer and tell your folks I said hi.
All right. Sounds good. Bye. Bye now.
I can't believe it worked.
I can't believe that worked either.
I mean, I was honestly starting to give up on some of our.
Yeah, I was like, I'll send us your email. No, send us your email.
Oh my God, I know. You got to make sure we're getting Instagram handles in the whole shebang.
Seriously, Miles, like this is a perspective changing call for me.
It really was. Like, think about it. Like, this could be like the New York Times could do a story on us. People sick of dating apps. How are they finding love?
The Belly Dup podcast. This could be our thing. You know, I mean, we're just sure we're just
sitting here sitting at at a bar drinking. But if we're doing like a public service,
I mean, game changer.
I'm excited. Me too. Let's take another caller real good.
Charlie. Yes, Miles.
Have you ever been at work and maybe hurt yourself?
Maybe a paper cut, maybe when you're working at Auntie Annie's.
You maybe burned yourself on the fryer.
Actually, at any end, I burnt myself on the hot pans on a daily basis.
Wouldn't it have been nice to know Mr.
Nicolay at that time? Yeah.
He would have been like, don't tell him you were high at work.
That that would have been. Yeah.
It's probably what he said.
But anyways, if you guys are injured at,
can is it injured at work or is it like personal injury?
I think it's like in a car crash.
Both.
Both.
Hey, if you're injured at all, you know, and it involves any sort of injury.
It just says injured, right?
So if you're injured, shoot, give him a call.
He'll tell you if he can help you or not. We're not the experts. 1-855-Nicolay ladies and gentlemen,
we're just here to tell you where to go and then he can handle the rest of it. Right?
That's that. That's what they're going to get. And don't worry if you forget what we
just said, just keep your eyes open when you're riding on the roads, not just for deer. Also
for the Nicolay billboards, you'll see them. miss them. No, you can't or the deer. The one thing I should think you should
add to is, is billboards is like a little sparkle on the top of his bald head. Yeah.
Russell would look gray with a nice little sparkle. Dude, you know what else I was gonna
say? I think in one of the, one of the sunglass reflections, there should
be a little deer jumping.
They're like a reindeer. No, no, no, no above the trees. Well, that could be fun too for
Christmas. Yeah. I was just saying, I'm an actual, you should change his beard to white
during Christmas. It looks like, like a cool Santa. Man, we should, we'll pitch them to
that. We'll pitch them these next time.
Next time. Yeah. Well, guys, if you're injured, go to Nicolay law.com. Welcome to the belly
to podcast. Who are we talking to? Hello? This is Aiden from Milwaukee. Nathan from Milwaukee.
Is that what you said? Aiden from Milwaukee Aiden. Are you on speaker
in a large room right now? Sounds like you're doing renovations or taking a deuce.
I know I'm just leaving my apartment billy. I'll get off real quick of my AirPods. Okay.
Oh, that was your AirPods. That's better. Yeah. That much better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. All right. Well, Aiden, welcome to the belly to podcast belly on up. What's on your
mind? Alrighty. So I'm a bouncer at a bar in downtown Milwaukee and I'm looking to find
out what to do when someone says that they're going to mess me up? Why did he say he was going to mess you up?
Yeah
Well, there's been a few times where guys will look at me and I'll ask them to play at least and
Then they'll tell me that they're going to mess me up and every single time it happens
I don't know how to react to it because I'm a lover not a fighter. Yeah, also a big dude
Oh, it's like I could handle it, but for not to. Well, well, I actually think that that's the type of person who should be a
bouncer, right? The person who's in power should not be the one who wants all the
power. Right? They usually make the better, more rational decisions.
If you're a bouncer who doesn't like to fight, that's a good thing.
Cause your first option is going to be to deescalate things before things break out into a fight. So I think that that is why you got going for you
Yeah, and I do really I want to echo that
Sentiment for miles and also say that if you're a guy who talks crap to a bouncer
We all know that you're not packing a lot of heat, you know, that you got, you
got the cocktail weenie going and you're trying to impress one of the gals and you think that
your bluster might add inches to your bratwurst and by bratwurst, I may, I mean the cocktail
shrimp cocktail, shrimp cocktail, a little shrimpy cocktail. And that's all they're doing.
Go ahead. That's like a family bloody Mary. You can say yes. Yes. And they've dealt with
this their whole life and they don't know how to do it. And they've got alcohol now
fueling their insecurity. And that's what they do. They and they know they can talk
all this back to you because you're not going to do anything. You're smarter than that. And you were also not drunk, but you know, they just
want to look big for their, for some gal or their buddies.
I mean,
Speaker 2, I mean, have you ever experienced someone though, when they maybe threatened
you a little bit that you were kind of like, Oh shit, this guy might actually mess me up.
Cause you know, it was like the big talkers,
the shrimp cocktail guys that Charlie's talking about. But I feel like once in a while you
get a big old former college football player or something that you're like, Oh God, this
could maybe be not so good for me. Have you ever had that happen?
I personally have not. I know that there are situations that arise like that all the time on Water Street, but me and myself, kind of known for using a quote from one of our, I guess I would say clients,
but she said that I'm the type to always be smiling even when it's probably not best
to be smiling.
So even in those situations where they're like, oh, we're going to mess you up, I'm just
all smiles. There's no guys that I'm actually too afraid of. There are guys that I know
would cause me a problem, but nothing that could endanger my life type thing.
Gotcha. What usually happens? They say you're going to mess you up. Then what happens?
So the two instances in particular that I'm thinking of where I've actually had some concerns
with it is in one instance, all I did was I set down everything that I had in my hands
is in like, you know, it's like all sorts of pick up glasses and take up the trash and
all that.
So I set all that stuff down.
And then I walked him out, you know, put my hands on his shoulders, just kind of walked him out, put it kind of nicely.
But then the other situation was me
having to calm him down and tell him that he's not going to mess anyone up today.
And luckily I had another bounce of their with me, but.
Man, you guys got a thankless job.
So my hat is off to you.
Truth be told, I enjoy the work. I like to be out there with the fellas, interacting
with the crowd and everything else. So it's kind of like my, my part-time job that keeps
on repaying me by keeping me around people of my same age, but also like making sure
that I'm not going out getting hammered every single Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Sunday.
Well, that's good. That's a whole new perspective on it. I like,
I like you a lot. I think you got your head on right now. Let's get back to what should
you do if someone says they're going to mess you up. I think Charlie and I have a few things
and tactics that you can try that should deescalate the situation. Now, number one that comes to mind guy tells he's
going to mess you up. I want you to take off your pants. Nothing will.
Have you ever touched that? I haven't. Luckily I've never been in the need for
this scenario, but I got this in my repertoire, you know, I belt off pants off. What's a guy? Does a guy really want to get really close
to a guy who's not wearing pants, especially when all I'm wearing is a jockstrap.
That is true. Good point, Miles. Don't forget the jockstrap. He's not going to come anywhere
near you. So that would be one tactic. You try Charlie.
What else would you try? Well, um, you do you have water balloons? You know, like on me personally or just at the bar?
Yeah, at the bar, I would have a bucket of water balloons and I would have those water
balloons filled up with, do you remember GAC from Nickelodeon?
I know, I don't.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
You don't know GAC?
Mm-mm.
What is it?
You don't even know what it is.
No, I didn't know.
I know exactly what GAC is, guys.
I mean, this is like one of the-
What are you talking about, slime?
Yeah, I'm talking about slime,
but they used to sell GAC
like when you were watching Nickelodeon as a kid.
I don't remember that. Maybe that was your generation.
I feel like there's like this lonely song like all around
a lonely people as the camera zooms in on me as nobody knows what GAC is.
So you want to throw slime at these guys?
I don't know if that's going to deescalate the scenario.
I'm spitballing here.
Good. Well, like, OK, I'm going to piggyback off of that. What you could do is when everyone comes in,
they get a water balloon and then if there's someone causing trouble, you do the old, uh,
take a page out of the biblical times and you just everyone, you announced to the, the
crowd that this person needs to leave and everyone throws their water balloon at them.
Oh, that's nice. That's kind of a fun thing. Yeah. You know, is he going to fight
everyone in the bar? You can't do that. Yeah, that's true. Nothing's worse than being really
drunk and pissed off and sopping wet. That's just, you don't want that.
Especially in Milwaukee, you can get cold. Another another thing you can do you can have a flashlight on you?
And if he actually does come close to you just put the flashlight right in his eyeballs that'll that'll stun him real good
You know yeah, and then that's also you you're just like as the as the flashlights come out like oh jeez
I think I lost my keys somewhere. Are they in your eyes? Nope. Don't look like it
There's got to be more. There's gotta be more.
There's gotta be more things.
I think the other thing, nothing will deescalate some,
well, not faster, but slower than making someone wait a while
before they mess you up.
So I'm gonna mess you up and go, okay, awesome.
We're gonna do that, But hold on a sec. I gotta show you this
Walleye I caught a few weeks back and then you're gonna pull out your phone Charlie
Yeah, I have to look through your phone for 45 minutes looking for that fish pick because it's hard to find on that camera
Roll yours that's and once 45 minutes goes by he he's going to be forget why he was even mad.
Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever, have you ever tried that showing someone a picture of like,
if you want someone to leave a conversation, just pull up your phone and start looking
for walleyes. They're going to be begging to go at that point.
Oh, I think I'll have to try that then. I'm more of a bluegill guy myself. Even better.
That works. Even bad. Like, like miles. Let's role play it. Like, uh, you be the drunk
guy. Hey, man. What I'm going to, I'm going to mess you up. Yeah. I know you are going
to mess. Yeah. I am. Yeah. No, no, no. You, I mean, you want to go right now. I, you,
how about we go, but before we go, can I just show you this bluegill that
I caught? Well, it's about the size of my, no, no, no, you're going to mess me up. I
mean, look at you. Okay. Yeah. You clearly have, you know, big muscles. Thank you. I
know I do. I work out huge dong and all that. But, but before we get to it, could I just
show you this while I, oh, I'm sorry, bluegill bluegill. Geez, I forgot the species. Hang on. I'm finding it. Yeah. I'm finding it. I mean, that's fine. I,
sure. Yeah. So I'm looking here. Oh, wait. Oh, don't look at my phone, please. Sorry. I mean,
it's okay. When, when did I catch that bluegill? Was it, Hey, is there anyone know when he caught
this bluegill? Then boom, all of know when he caught this blue girl? Then boom,
all of a sudden he's forgot about why he's mad and he's now trying to focus on getting
you to show the fish in so that he can get back to what he was talking about. But then
he doesn't remember what he was talking about because he's hammered. Yeah. He hung up. That's
not a bad move. No, no, that's a great move. But the problem is, is what if we
actually find the bluegill pick? Oh, you just, you take seriously, you ask him if he's got any
bluegill picks. Yeah, it's, it's a classic misdirect. You know, do you ever watch shark week?
Oh, every year. Okay. So you know, when you're scuba diving and a shark is going at you to
like fast, it's like, Oh my gosh, I'm
gonna die. You know, and kind of a drunk guy at the bars, kind of like a shark, you know,
they're like big idiots, you know, all you got to do is put your hand out on their nose
because their noses are real sensitive and then and then redirect them redirect. That's
what these guys and they're really easy to redirect because they have, you know, just a few things on their mind trying to show that they're the big man and, you know, probably getting
the next drink.
What's that? Trying to flex their dorsal fins and all that.
They're dorsal fins. Yeah. I got, I got one more advice piece. Sorry. No, no. Work shopping
it in my head. We're just getting the ideas going here. Miles.
Another option is you need to tell him, yes, we're going to fight. Let's do it. We actually
have a fighting pit right through this door. Yeah. And it's just going to be either either it's
going to go outside and it's going to be a fenced area with a, with like a case of water and you let him go out first and it locks from the
inside and he just goes out into this pit, you lock the door and now he just has to sit
there and drink water and sober up and think about what he's done or you could use like
a broom closet that locks from the outside. Now I will will say I'm going to caution this that could be a wrongful
imprisonment, which is a felony, but you know, we'll get to those details. Okay. You make
it like an escape room. That's it. That's it. That's it. The drunk escape room. Yes. So if
a guy's getting a little feisty, wants to fight you, you go, all right, the fighting pit is right
through these doors. You get him in there, you lock him in there and he has the key in the room, but it's an escape room. And now
he has to go through all of the things to unlock and hopefully it takes him about an
hour sober up, not be as mad. The whole thing,
That's a great idea. That's wonderful. The other thing you could do. Oh, go ahead.
I was just going to say, I kind of feel like an escape room might make him a little bit more mad, you know, but now he's mad at the
room, not you. Yeah. What's he going to do? And you never know. He may get out and be
like, I think I can do it faster. Let me get back in there. You know, he might love it.
And then it goes for another round. Yeah. You're going gonna make sure there's no sharp objects in this room. Probably pretty
padded as well. And then you let that guy go. Well, of course, I think the escape room's
the best idea. The, you know, lastly, what you can do is have a big boom box out there.
And as soon as someone says they want to fight, you can like start it. And it's like, you know, the wrestling you ever watched WrestleMania, you can get that song going like in the left in the blue corner.
We have a five foot four shrimp dick is to just be the announcer and you know,
kind of roast the guy what he's wearing and he's looking around for who to fight, but
it's just a dude in the window upstairs, you know,
yeah, you just put him in a room with a mirror and then he'll just start fighting himself.
Yeah. That's good. That's actually another good point. But yeah, have you ever
been like mad and then like you go to the bathroom and you're kind of like you like
look yourself in the mirror and you're like, God, I look like an idiot for how mad I am.
And you punch a mirror. No, you just now you are. You can you now are seeing that you look
ridiculous. Yeah. Get them in a room with a bunch of mirrors.
That'll calm them down.
Yeah.
You literally mirror him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Literally mirror.
The escape room filled with mirrors is the mood.
Oh, that's it.
Escape room filled with mirrors.
I mean, this now is becoming a horror film and I'm liking it more and more.
I was going to say this makes me sound like I'm going
to like play a game with them or something. Exactly. That sounds fun. Not fighting. This
show true. All right. So that's it. You just got to convince the bar to have an escape
room and you're good to go dude. I will pose all the questions to the bar and hopefully we get it done. All right. Look at that, Charlie. Boom. I love it, man. Keep doing God's work out there.
Not enough people are as grateful for the bouncers as they should be.
No, we appreciate your service and glad you're having fun with it.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you both for the advice.
Absolutely, man. Thanks for calling in. Thank you. Thank you both for the advice. Absolutely,
man. Thanks for calling in. All right. Tell your folks that says hi. Watch for deer and
drunks. Oh, I'll try my best. All right. Bye. Bye. What a good guy. Yeah. You know, I, when
he was calling talking about that, I, I hate party bars. I can't get into it. Let's
go to your 36 years old, Joe. Do you like party bars? My, I did when I was 25. I'm
old. I'm old. I like, but what a great way to end it. And it actually reminds me. We
always talk about tipping your bartender. Yeah. Once a while, maybe throw a couple of
bucks that bouncers way or at least give them a thanks. We should.
We should have talked to him about that about tipping the bouncer. Next bouncer we get. I
think we should get bouncer tips, although we all know that bouncer, they're taking a
little scratch to let people in the door. Yeah. Yeah. So they're getting tipped. Yeah.
It's supposed to be an eight dollar cover charge. They charge 10, you know, the whole thing, but at least thank your, your bouncer. Thank your bouncer. Yeah. Yeah. Well
guys, that was another good episode of the billy it up podcast. As always, thanks for
tuning in. Don't forget your tip, your bartender and your bouncer and watch out for drunks.
See you next time guys. Love you guys.