Bellied Up - Don't Mess With The Mailman #81

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

Our first caller resides in a large house with his entire family and needs some advice on how to enhance privacy. The next caller, a UPS Driver from Maine, now living in New Hampshire, needs help dealing with a Karen. The last caller, hailing from Michigan, is looking for advice on handling an older neighbor who repeatedly hits on him. Get yourself a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Here

Well, Miles, we're doing it again, pal. We're here. We're still at the old Hill, Barn, Grill here in Glendon. And we're feeling good feeling great, actually. Yeah. Yeah, it's a nice day. It's Christmas this week or is it the week after Christmas? Next week is Christmas December 28th December.

It's past Christmas. It's it's December 28th December it's past Christmas it's December 28th Christmas is gone. My Christmas was awesomeness here. You pack up your Christmas stuff yet or no. No, no, not yet. Do you wait for the the wise men to leave like the 12 days of Christmas, right? Isn't that some of the feast of the kings? That's when I don't know. That's when my mom takes down the Christmas stuff. The Feast of the Kings. I wonder what the Kings ate at that Feast miles. Maybe some chicken or some turkey or maybe even deer. I don't know if they ate deer the Kings. Stags, they probably called them. Well, do they have stags and deer in the Middle East? where they were at yeah, I don't know. That's why I don't know

I'm guessing not but you never know maybe only am Probably so new years coming up Charlie. Yeah, would you like new years? I like new years If I have something to go to Otherwise new years we know like I'm not just to go to, otherwise, New years, we know, like, I'm not just going to go to the bar on New Year's anymore. No, I'm getting too old for that. I don't like, but if like some friends want to throw party, I'm all for that. Yeah. Last year, I just spent New Year's by myself just hanging out. Was it depressing or was it kind of nice? It's great, dude. I just, I didn't want to go find parking. I was not feeling good

You know, I remember being well. I was feeling a little nauseous wait Wasn't last year weren't we in green Bay on New Year's? Yeah, Charlie didn't come out with us no because I had a gig Oh, yeah, and then I was feeling too nauseous to go to the game. Yeah, I remember that now I was feeling sickly Well, it's just funny because I was like too nauseous to go to the game. I remember that now. That was feeling sickly. Well, it's just funny because I was like, I don't really go to the bar anymore, but we literally went to the bar, done New Year's last year. But we were in green base, two way different.

Yeah. And doing it at home. Yeah. It is way different. It's fun. Why is it maybe maybe we should go out together this year for New Year's miles, you and me bring in the New Year together. And then we can make resolutions and keep each other accountable. What would your New Year's resolution you and me bring in the New Year together and then we can make resolutions and keep each other accountable

What would your New Year's resolution be Charlie? That's a good question. I think um I Think I want to I got some projects at my house house I want to get done, you know, like what? Well, I've got this alternator in my snowmobile. You're still working on that thing. Still working on it. It's the project that I don't have enough free time miles. And they got these YouTube videos showing you how to do it, but you know, I screw it up.

And I'm thinking maybe, yeah, maybe that'll be it. That's my New Year's resolution. Oh, the two you. What's your New Year's resolution? Oh, New Year's resolution. Well, I started like working out this year, so I got that done onto my next project. Okay.

I'm gonna try to eat more salads now if you can believe that. Yes. It's kind of one of those things that you don't really love doing, but you just got to do. Got to do it because you got to keep it regular. Yeah. Well, to keep it regular, and I'm just trying not to die at like 50. Yeah. It's usually a pretty good goal.

Yeah. It's just live longer than 50 years old. Are you working out every day now, my? Yeah, probably three times a week right now. Getting cardio and weights in there. Mostly just weights. Mostly weights. Yeah, because you're built like a brick shit house.

You want a wrestle? No, I think you, uh, I think you, you got me. You don't want to grapple a little bit? I'd box you, but I feel like you'd win in wrestling. I'm not good at wrestling. I'm okay at boxing. See, I feel like I wouldn't be great at boxing in terms of being able to strike really well, but I feel like I could take a punch.

Yeah, you could take a punch. That would be a difficult thing. Well, I mean, like in football, I never got knocked out. Took some pretty big licks, took some blows, but I was never diagnosed with a concussion, so I feel like my head is somewhat concussion proof. Yeah, no, that makes medical sense. Yeah.

So I don't know, I think my brain's got a little extra fluid in there to keep it from bruising. Maybe we do a thing, Miles. We're like, we work out together and I show you the little I know about boxing and you show me whatever you know about wrestling. I don't know anything about wrestling. I thought you were a wrestler in high school or something.

I actually had a conversation with Tyler, who works for me, who was a wrestler. I don't know anything about wrestling. Then I might be able to beat you in wrestling. You might be able to beat me. I know a couple wrestling moves. Like I, I know more about the sport of swimming than I do about wrestling.

Swimming is actually a really good workout. It's good on your joints because gravity is not as much of a thing in water. Did you know that? That's good on the joints. Yeah. Well, I'll throw a New Year's resolution out there, Charlie. Sure. I'm here to catch it. I want to go to bed at a good time. Ah, that's a great one. One time, are you going to bed right now? Well,

right now, there's some days I go to bed and I'm sleeping by 11. That's a nice, that's a nice time. That's what I'd like to do on a regular basis. But right now, it's, you know, sometimes it's 12, 30, you want a clock and it just, everything goes better the next day. You know, I got a, I need, I started doing a little yoga before bed. Don't, don't get funny with me and say, I'm a weirdo for it, but you'll go with Adrian the bedtime yoga thing I started doing it. But you're right to sleep. Well, yeah, it really gets me in the mood to go to bed. So the problem is when my blood gets pumping, then that's when I don't fall. Well, these are very mellow. There's

more stretching and not really blood pumping. Relaxation. Yeah, I'm working on my stretching. Stretching is a big thing. You got lower back pain. You know why? You're not stretching enough. Also, I was a big rock mover as a kid. And so I've got probably some residual, probably some arthritic stuff, probably, you know, historically speaking. Yep. You know. So a big stretcher. I'm going to change my thing to stretching. I'm gonna stretch every day. Okay. Yeah.

Quick switcher room. Quick switcher room. Well, should we take some collars? Sure. Welcome to the Belly and a podcast. What are we talking to? Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe.

Where are you at? What you doing? I'm over here and Oregon just working on one of my forestry mulchers right now. A forestry mulcher. Yeah. Is that a big old mulching thing to put some trees that have fallen out?

You know, you put them through that thing? Yeah. Yeah. So what I do a lot is like orchard removals. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so if we have to like, you know, turn over if a farmer wants to like turn a crop or whatever, get a go out there, delete the trees and turn them into the ground.

There you go. I like that. Okay. Well, you're my first person I've ever met that does that for a living. So that's kind of cool. Yeah. It's pretty good. Now do you own this piece of machinery?

Oh, no. No. No. Okay. No. I'm not that rich. Yeah. I was going to say that's an expensive piece right there. Yeah, so you work for the company you don't own it. Right. Yeah, we've got a manager of

pieces of equipment. If you look it up, it's a it's a pranoth wrapped or 800. It's a pretty gnarly looking machine. They're out of Germany. Nice. Well, Charlie's looking up right now. Well, why don't you belly up to the bar while he's looking it up and tell us what's on your mind? Last year moved in with the end-launch. They went and bought a 50, I don't know, 5600 square foot house and it's got like four or five different living areas in it, but they're all connected. So it's like one big house that has five houses in five of it, basically. It's a compound.

It's a compound. It's a compound, man. It's like a, it's like a cult up there. How am I going to actually say, are you in the cold? I might as well be. Okay, I sense some sort of anx. I was going to actually say, are you in the call? Might as well be. Okay, I sense some sort of angst. I think he married into a cult.

Yeah, okay. Well, let's unpack this a little bit. What made you guys move in with the in laws? Oh, well, we had a house in town. And we just, you know, they offered up offered up one one of the living areas and we're like, well, shoot. Get out of the mortgage and we're repeating them rent, but you know, it's cheaper per month and all the kid get the hang out together all the time. Yeah, that's you. But that's a problem.

Yeah. Yeah. So you're saying the problem. What's the problem? I don't have privacy. I can't even go to the bathroom without having three different kids storm in thing that they've got problems they need help with. Yeah. So how many people live in this house?

A lot. A lot. We've got grandma, the mother and father in law, their, their kids, brother in law. Do you have a family? Do you have a kid yourself? Yeah, I've got three. So there's like four or five families living in this one house. Yeah. Oh my God. This is like my personal nightmare right here. Yeah, you thought this would be a good idea. Yeah. Oh my God. This is like my personal nightmare right here. Yeah. You thought this would be a good idea. Well, yeah. Are you regretting it? No, because it's great. We get to spend time together, but man, it's a lot of time being spent together. Okay. Well, let's unpack it some more. What you say? There's no privacy.

What are some stuff going on in the house that you got? You're kind of thinking? You know, that's a little too far. We're crossing line privacy wise here. What's going on in the house? Well, you see you in a late night, whatever, go in, take a shower, walk out of the bathroom, to go get changed and, and someone's in my, uh, standing in my kitchen, talking to my wife and I go, oh, sorry, sorry, you didn't know you're there. Got to talk louder or something.

I don't know. I'm at the point where I just opened the door and keep around. Were you walking out, dong out? Oh, no. Okay. That's good. How thin are the walls in this house? Oh, they're real thin.

Okay. So you're maybe even getting a little hanky, panky noises throughout the day or night. Yeah, who's doing it the most in that family? I don't even know. So the house is broad enough that we don't, the main bedrooms don't have shared walls. Okay, that's just good. Yeah. It's a real good thing. Well, do you feel like you can really let go when you're working on child number four or you feel like you got to keep it down? I'm afraid.

I'm afraid. So your sex life has suffered is what you're saying? No, not really, no. Not to brag. No, no. Yeah. All right. Good spot.

I just have to be a little bit careful because I've heard my own parents and I don't want to scar my kid. Oh, you've heard your parents doing the deed? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah. Tell us about that.

When was the first time? Oh, I got, I was, I think there's only been one time. And it was as an adult 20 years old sitting there on the couch had had a day off or whatever reason and then all of a sudden I start hearing what what I can only describe as the hyena trying to take down a pack of wool and mom and dad bedroom doors open. Wow. Now did they know you were home? No, they had no idea. Oh, yeah.

Did you just let yourself out the back door before someone? Or did you stop them? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, I walked out. Yeah. Okay. I didn't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you like make make a bunch of noise so that they like knew you were there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I slammed a kitchen. I had a chair at the table. But when I went into the table and then what went out the door made it known I was outside now.

Yeah. What was that came out in his short shorts and that a man I didn't know you're here like well. Yeah I can tell was he still rocking and rolling in those short shorts or had he simmered down a bed before he came out You know what I couldn't tell what's your dad? Are we talking like Pringles can? We talking, yeah. The short Pringles can. What is it?

Banana? Well, if I got my genetics from ham, then probably a short one. But it got to be cut in half. More of a tuna can is what you're thinking. Like we're thinking like Vienna a sausage maybe. Oh yeah. Okay. All right, so I can see why you want to live with your folks.

Yeah, no, it's great. I love it. We get to play games and stuff with all of everyone, but, but, um, so, I don't want to be rude and just lock the door and be like, no, can't come over here, but, but, um, so, I don't don't want to be rude and just lock the door and be like, no, can't come over here, but, but also sometimes it's like, man, I also kind of want to just chill out. Yeah, I think what you need to do is actually take a, stick with me here. Okay. I think you need to take a page out of your parents book. And the only way you're going to get privacy is if you make it really bad

for everyone else. So you guys need to maybe get it on in one of the common areas really loud. Then everyone else is going to have to sit you guys down and you guys will have to start setting some boundaries, which actually could be kind of a good thing. I think a little boundary setting is right. Do you have a pair of short shorts like your pops? A little bit. Start wearing those around the deal. People keep their distance. It's kind of like, you know, like a bear sort of pissing on a tree.

You're, you got to mark your territory. I've been trying that, but it doesn't work. Have you tried actually pissing on a door? No, but I could. Yeah. That does it. That'd be a lot more awkward than being caught. Yeah, you could get a robe of some sort and sit down on the couch and spread eagle and

that'll probably keep everyone in line. Yeah. You know, the thing, but man, that's a risky move. What is your real goal here? Yeah. Just like that you have. Because it sounds like you aren't that worried about privacy.

Considering you moved in with five other families and you are in a cult. Yeah, you're not fully regretting it. Well, there's been several kids. I think there's been three kids born since we moved there. Oh, God. Okay. And I'm not applying exponentially. How are you guys having all that sex with none of that privacy? I don't know. A lot of them. I don't even know. It's an entire family that's got the kink of ball gigs and silence. Yeah. A lot of silence. Yeah. Silence or sex? Oof.

Um, so have you heard anybody in that house getting it on? I just want clarification on that. No, thankfully, thankfully, no. Oh, car. Oh, car. I mean, there's got to be perks too, though. I imagine that the in-laws are making you guys dinner once in a while. Stuff like that. Is there perks to this? Yeah, no, that's great. We always have have meals all together. We'll, you know, hang out, maybe watch a football game and, you know, watch, move, whatever.

Just we hang out a lot. But yeah, great. All the kids get to play together and get to know their cousins more. So in a night, just a lot of time. Yeah. So in an ideal world, how would it, how would this whole operation work in your mind? I don't even know. I thought you guys would know. Well, we need an end goal of all working towards here. Do you want to be able to lock your doors? Do you want scheduled hangout times? Like what kind of what are you thinking? That might have to be it. It's just like all right. Thursdays and Fridays, you know, we got to have a,

you got to hang out by appointment only. Okay. Well, Charlie, let's game this. Okay. So you be him. Okay. And I'll be the in-laws. And you have to break the news that you want scheduled hangout times. Hey, guys, look, I love you. I want you to hear that first. Well, I love you too. We're so happy that you're in our family and living in our house and in our cult. Oh, thank you. It's been so nice being in this cult. I love that I'm paying rent and not getting any equity at all. That's another conversation you can have. But you're helping the cult thrive. So thank you for that. Yes. Yes. I am. Thank you. So I'm thinking that we set up Is this is this gonna be quick because we have to sacrifice an animal? Okay, and a few minutes the lamb can wait

Yeah, the lamb can wait. I just I also have things to do too. I got to get out there and do a repair on the on the Prinoth Raptor 800 which is a sick piece of machinery. As you can see, that is a sick piece of machinery. Now listen, I just think on Thursdays and Fridays, if that's that's my family's time to be a family. And you guys just got to, but what do you mean? We're all a family. I know we're all family. Please stop touching my hand. It's, but we're a cult. I understand that. I just think on

Thursdays and Fridays, it's my family time. We need to strengthen my family's bond together. We need our own separation of my family. And then we will, it'll make the rest of the time we spend together as an extended family, all the more good. What you're saying is, is that you don't want to hang out with us anymore. You know, can I just build a house? Sorry, sorry that I make you dinner, wash your clothes, hang out with your kids, babysit your kids, and you don't want to hang out with us on Thursdays and Fridays. You know that that's when we all break bread together and we're the

same clothes and do cult stuff is on Thursdays and Fridays. So now you don't even want to be in our cult. It's not that I don't want to be in the cult. It's just can we be a cult Saturday? How much Netflix cult documentaries have you been watching? Scientology is not that bad. Look, I like a lot of the things. I said we should have banned all the cult shows on Netflix in this household. That's the other thing you guys are on my Netflix account. And that's not counting toward my equity in this. Yeah. Um, I just some really upset that you want to spend well will agree to disagree. I guess we'll just have to find another family to fill your spot. Oh my gosh. Joe, is that how this conversation's going to go?

Man, I don't know. Wow, Joe, you are beside yourself. I don't know. Joe, does it bother you? You're not getting any equity over the years. Joe, does it bother you? You're not getting any equity over the years. A little bit. And in hindsight, probably should have just, you know, rented out our house or something.

Yeah. That have just, you know, settled in it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's also, I mean, we got that that money's invested, but it's not nothing, nothing that, um, real estate is going to gain. So I mean, at some point, like, are you going to live with these people forever or what is there an exit strategy out of this?

Is this just a short term? What is your thoughts on that? I have no clue. And I've talked to the wifey about that. And we don't know know we're at this point We're in it for the long haul. Oh gosh. Now do you it sounds like you do want to be in it But you don't want to be in it. Have you solidified your opinion on this? I like it

But but I would just like a little bit more, you know, I guess maybe structure with hangout time. Mainly it just comes down to mainly it just comes down to I don't want to walk out of the bathroom and and and have to look my sister in law in the face and and know that I'm only in a towel. Yeah. Here's a solution. Just get it.

My guy. Get a group chat and just let everyone know what your shower schedule is like and just say my for the half hour that I'm showering. No one can come in my house. I don't think that that's too unreasonable. But he doesn't have a shower schedule though. Just hey, I'm going to shower, guys. Okay. Hammer shower.

I stay out my deal. Can you build another house on the property? We might have to. We might have to just start building houses there, but then that's going to turn into even more craziness because someone else, if I don't finish the house and move into it before someone else does, then we're going to turn into even more craziness because Someone else if I don't finish the house to move into it before someone else does Then we're going to have another family up there Families are just spawning on the property. Yeah, you guys got anywhere for us to say actually we got this house being built up if you want to move in there Can't you just make this a vacation home?

want to move in there. Can't you just make this a vacation home? Can't couldn't you guys get your own place? And then this is just a vacation home kind of a thing. You know, you spent like a few weeks here up there. That's where I lived. I mean, that's home. I'm a real homebody. I can't just, I can't just leave. I mean, that's what that's what most cult members say. I can't just leave. Yeah. Yeah. So true. Do they? How does I think we've given all the advice we can get. Yeah. I think number one,

you should have thought about all this before you moved in with a house with five families. You know? Well, yeah, we thought about it and we took a while and thought about it, but you know, it was kind of one of those things where like you never actually know until you dive in. You know, so far it's been great, but that's really my only gripe. Well, the way you're talking, I would classify it as so far it's been fine. You know, it's been, it's not been completely bad. It's not, it's been far from completely good.

So we wish you the best of luck, man. I mean, I don't envy your situation right now, but it sounds like it seems pretty minimal for all the benefits. You seem to enjoy it. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not horrible.

It's just I want to make it a little bit better. Get your boundaries out there. Set up a group email so people can say, hey, I think it would just be good. If we got our boundaries out here. I would just like these days free. Yes. What about a physical boundary, you know, when you go to do you have home people over there? Yes.

Get some drywall. Get some two by fours. Get some. No, I'm thinking like, you know, when they, when they're working in the aisle with the pork left, which side note here, I would know about pork left safety as I'm a pork left certified. I just wanted to put that in there. But thank you. I wear it with honor, although I haven't actually

used the certification, but that doesn't matter. But anyway, I got one. I've got one one I took a class To do a class. We got a piece of paper. Oh, yeah anyway So so yeah, but when when they're working in the aisles with the pork that they have this little Oh, barricade that they play out do I need to just put that in front of the door? Yeah, get a doggy door. I don't say, hey, if this is up, there's a doggy door. That's a good idea.

Yeah, make it harder to get into your part of the house. Stalled doggy door. If they want to get in, they got one on their hands. Locking it. Yeah, if you locking it just seems rude, you know, I don't want to lock the door because that says, hey, you know, we don't like you, but if we just make it a little bit more

of an inconvenience, that, Hey, maybe, you know, maybe don't come in right now or put a sock on the door. Yeah. Maybe a rubber band. Yeah. That implies. Well, imply it. Inplite. You know what? I love how like, like when I grew up in my house with just my family, I love how like, like when I grew up in my house with just my family, locking the door was totally acceptable. I don't know why it's like so frowned upon to just lock a door. You know what I mean?

Like I feel like it's pretty common thing. Growing up I lived in the same room as my three other brothers. So, so there wasn't, and there was no lock on that door. Or kind of, trying to deliver. Yeah, well, I want to let you know that it is okay to lock a door. You know, it's better than a lock. I just seems rude. You know, it's better than a lock.

I know, no, he says it seems rude. I get it. You know, it's better than lock. Get yourself a pineapple and turn it upside down and hang it on all. No, we're not that kind of a house. But you want people to stay away. You want people to stay away. In your family commune, start hanging a swingers signs up. They'll stay away.

You'll get your privacy. No one's going to come there when you're showering anymore. Problem solved. True. Mike dropped. There's also, there's enough kids running around. We could just hang a kid off the door. Just a hay. If you come up to a door and there's a kid hanging off of it,

don't come in. Well, the kid is like a live still, right? They're just kind of like hanging in and like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, hanging by their underwear. Yeah, hanging by their underwear. That's good. That's good. So you're telling me you would rather hang one of your children from a door than just lock it. I just want to make sure. Well, then they have someone to interact with. I mean, my kids are cool. So, you know, they could play patty cake or whatever until I remember that they're still there. Okay. All right. Well, I think that's smart. I mean, I'm I'll roll with that. You know, there are easier ways to do it, but if that's the way you got to do it,

that's the way you got to do it. I was going to suggest that's a more entertaining option. I mean, I think the upside down pineapple is also entertaining and also won't get social services called. However, I do, I do enjoy you know see where this goes. So regardless that you got plenty of options and I think I think one of them is going to work. Yeah. Thanks for calling in and tell the family says hi. Okay, until your dad we say hi too. watch out for. Oh, I will watch out for a deer now.

All right. You as well. No, bye. Lot on packs. Yeah. Lots on packs. Yeah. He seems, he seems like he's what, what is it called?

I mean, not crazy in saying that you could just lock the door. No, no, no, no, no, not at all. It's almost like that. What is it? The syndrome you get when you're a prisoner, Stockholm center. I just seems like he's saying he likes it, but he clearly does not like it. And I don't blame him. I don't know. We might need to be a whistleblower on this whole cult situation. That would be too much, dude. I would never want to do that with anybody's extended family.

I don't, yeah. I don't want to live in a house with anyone other than my own family. Yeah. That's like, ever. That's, it's already too much to deal with your own family. Yeah. I spent enough time with my brother. I don't need any need to do that again.

No. All right. Well, it's just getting my color. Yeah. All right. We'll see my car. Yeah. Hello. And welcome to the buildup podcast who we chit cham with today. Oh, we smoked. This is Mason Sullivan.

Call him the voice from way up in New Hampshire. Mason Sullivan. God, you got a nice accent there, Mason. Oh, thanks, buddy. Screw up in Maine. So I God, you got a nice accent there, Mason. Oh, thanks, buddy. I grew up in Maine. So I got me got the, um, Lena accent still, but. Oh, yeah.

We'll go for you. We'll belly on up to this bar, Mason. Tell us what's on your mind, my guy. All right. So, uh, my hardworking man worked for UPS and I've seen numerous carings out in the public and I just want to know how you guys with your Midwest nice would deal with it. Well, Mason, give us a specific specific carin interaction that you had some trouble with recently. Oh jeez, well probably the best one I've had. This past Christmas I had my help in the jumpsuit there with me. And we're part of this little side street,

not that end, but well, like cut between, you know. And so I'm packed, maybe 30 second delivery, just thing bang boom, right to the door and back. This big dodge ran comes pulling up. Five, next to me. You guys can't be packed on a hill. I want your supervisors name, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So I go, okay, I'll give you my supervisors name because you can go beat the shit out of my supervisor. I don't care. But the guy gets back and his dog goes to peel off. And I'm trying to hang out with my door. Hey, buddy, I thought you wanted my supervisors name and number, but I got it right here. Don't you talk to me if I see your truck again,

that at the end of the day I found his address and now his packages are held at the UPS and then he has to go pick him up but um Just wondering how you guys would deal with something like that I mean you kind of nailed it honestly. It's the you're playing the long game, right? He's got to go get his packages and send him good delivered to his door, right? Oh, yeah. Like I've done that to a couple of people like if they get aggressive, I'm not dealing with you. No, you can go pick them up.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a little nice. And we're getting nice to their face or were you, were you really throwing it back at him? Well, the behind us, we have the I was skid shitless. And so I was, oh, no, I'm pretty sure I'm in the right here, bud. Just sorry, you know, I have to make a delivery. There's a house right here. Where else do you want me to part? So I to get a visual here, how short are the shorts you wear when you deliver the packages? You got the nice short brown shorts.

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I'm cake top and I wear the medium. So there are a couple of inches above the knee, probably like four or five fingers. Did you say you're cake top? Oh, you know what my guy defined cake top for anybody out there who doesn't know the meaning of that. Oh, like like kicked up, you got to, you got a booty on you. You got a shock if you know what I mean. Yeah.

I liked that. A little UPS driver, short shorts, little kicked up action. Um, so yeah, Charlie. Kidry kid. So, uh, oh, I said they, uh, they call me the Kidry kid because I deliver in Kidry and, uh, I hang out in a hammock on my lunch break and stuff. So, old town knows me. Where do you put up your hammock? Well, it's hanging off the mirror and a, uh, in the sign post, I it off the mirrors in the signpost.

I can send you a picture if you want. Yeah. Send the picture to belly up. Okay, Charlie, while he's sending that, why don't you, how would you handle that guy? Oh, man, the honest answer is I go, oh, yeah, what's that? Oh, my gosh, did we park right here? Let's roleplay it. You're the guy. Why do you park? You can't park you? Oh, geez. No, did I park? Is that your spot? Yeah, that's my spot. Oh my gosh, you know, where did she get that shirt? Uh, uh, Cole says that's not important. Now use Cole's cash. Did you

now? Oh my, you know what? Now that you say that, I'm sorry I parked in your spot here. I got some extra colds cash right here. Do you? For your inconvenience. No, I have some of that. I'm out of you. I don't want you. Why are you giving me this?

Come on now, Felle. You can't be mad with someone when they're giving you colds cash. Just try it now. I just try. You got a nice beard too. I tell you what. And I'm not hitting on you. I got a wife. Okay. Well, I did

But you know anyway, you take that right now. I'm gonna move this car. Okay. Okay. All right. What's that? That you can park for your shirt. I mean time. Yeah. I'm headed to coals anyways. All right. We'll take the coals cash I think and and I'll be out of here soon. Don't you work picking up on there, you know, if they got a nice polo there, I got to go to church. So that would be cool. You want it in brown as well? Or that would be cool. Yeah, that'd be slick.

Thank you. Well, sorry to disturb you. No, I'm sorry myself. All right, be good. Hey, watch for deer out there. Okay, they're humping each other right now. All right. All right. So yeah, that's the Midwest version. But you know what? I think that

I like your attitude on this, you know, and your your reaction is a little bit more honest, you know, so there's two ways to, you know, to skin and cat. Alright, here we go, we got the picture coming up. Oh my god. That is awesome. I love. And in implement weather, hammock fits right in the back of the truck hanging up between the shelves. You put it. I love. I don't think I got a picture of that one for you boys. Let's tweet that one out. Let's tweet that out.

We're going to celebrate your ingenuity in the UPS delivery trade. So that was, Oh, thanks guys. Well, I was going to say that was kind of a bad experience what's what's maybe been the wild this experience the one that you're like I can't believe that just happened to you while you been on the road oh so I'm a dog lover I have a 150 pounds great pair and ease of hold so any dog I see out on the road I play with and fuck around with, right?

Yeah. So there's this one on my route and she'll follow me all the way around the coldest satch. You don't care. Go into other people's driveways, whatever. Well, one winner, I found her like three miles down the road at a Keating Oil, like shopper whenever and had a climb in the truck drove her back to the house luckily I had a package for him but I would have dropped the dog off

anyway and after that the dog is been on a leash. So the dog. There was no reason the dog was at the heating oil place. You just found the dog and you brought the dog. Oh, literally it followed the heating oil truck. Okay. Okay. So you feel a little guilty is what you're saying. By returning the dog made the owner think that they need to leash him up and now the dog can't be a dog and wander around. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, but you know, I've convinced them to get a like the electric hunting colors. They can like, are there's that one or like buzz at them and they use that in case

you wonder, but do I still see that dog as you're now again, but you ever had a bad interaction with the dog? I mean, I have, but my wife says she went to school for animal care and education. So she's, uh, like taught me a bunch of like how to read care and education. So she's taught me a bunch of how to read dogs and stuff. So I really had a bad interaction. I've had the mean dogs behind gates and stuff and bouncing off the glass doors trying to get at me, but I'm just, who's gonna go wait? Check the UPS guys even your own.

Yeah. Yeah. What's your most irrational fear in life? In life, honestly, other people on the road, other motorists. That's pretty rational, man. There's a lot of people texting and driving these days. Well, I know, but it's like, I don't have to be a work, and no, I don't have to be work. No, I don't have to be worried about like every car. Yeah, just like the few dumb people, but after being rear-ended once in almost

a week after I have the same person in my new car. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So this person is head hunting you? I guess so, man. And if she's listening, I swear to God, I hope you got caught by the cops again. Wait, wait, wait, do you know this person? You got to tell us the full story. Okay, so I was hurt and left in due a tractor like company to get some food for my animals and whatnot and The 55 911 hour road two lane road and no turning lanes or anything and So I was waiting to turn left against traffic and

bunch of cars behind me Merged over into like the brick down the lane to go around me. Well, I'm out this bitch because she was texting and driving and hits me and I thought, blah, blah, whatever, she comes up to me crying. And he don't call the police. I was answering the text from my work

and I was like, okay, well, you couldn't pull me that and the cops are already coming. So cops get there in like two and a half minutes. I'm like, she's already pulled me that she was texting. I don't really, I don't care, but you know, it's unsafe. I just want my info when I get out of here. So like two weeks goes by. I get my new vehicle, get out of here. So like two weeks goes by, I get my new vehicle, I'm driving back home, and I noticed that there's this big white Toyota behind me with grilled damage and no driver's side mirror. Look up. And there she is again, elbows on the steering wheel texting right above the dash. Nearly hit Smith. So I had the cops number who

seemed to the scene because I had my phone over my insurance or some shady needy new picture. But so I called him up and he went and did a wealth fair check on her to make sure that, you know, she gets the importance of texting and driving. So she didn't hit you the second time. You just saw her on the road the second time. Texting and driving again, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, good for you. You know, sent a message to her. That's very good. That's very good. Another question as being a guy who delivers, go ahead and head miles.

As being a guy who delivers other people's mail, there's kind of a stigma out there for postmen, you know, the lonely housewife at the house when the mailman shows up. Have you ever had any women get a little too friendly with you when you've been delivering packages? I'm, so I'm newly married uh but back before I was wearing my wedding band uh I had a couple of people interacting with me but in that way but I'm uh my wife said that she'll never be an

actual will be a widow and I uh I really believe that so I well, I'm not gonna do any of that, but she's gonna kill him. I'm not, I'm not saying that you would do anything, but as you know, yeah, how's wives coming on to you? No, I know, I just have to preface that, but were you ever preface? Yeah, I've been here a couple of times. Hey, can you bring this inside?

No, because it's against policy lady leading a world. you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, bedroom to put your 200 pound math is in box spring in there, you know. Yeah, I usually skip that part anyways. Um, well, that's, you gotta. I'll fuck you, my. Talk me a second, but I got you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What can I say? We're a bunch of guys hanging out drinking at the bar, you know?

Um, well, yeah, you got an interesting life, man. I think what you do is fascinating. And it was a pleasure talking to you today. Hey, pleasure talking to you guys to one time list. The first time getting on. One of your patrons over on the. You bet your radios. I appreciate it, my guy. That's awesome.

Just keep the ice cream cake away from Taiwan. Real know what you want. Yeah, 30 dog. All right, man. Well, right guys. Well, it's been a blast, man. Yeah, you take care now. I'm not sure if he's a guy that I just want to drink with. Yeah, I feel like he's the friend that you're all drinking and he you just put a quarter in him and he let him just tell stories the whole thing. Those are the best friends. You know, I'm not sure if he's a guy that I just want to drink with. Yeah.

I feel like he's the friend that you're all drinking and you just put a quarter in him and you let him just tell stories the whole night. Those are the best friends. Mm-hmm. You know, yeah, it's like listening to a podcast in real life. Yeah. You know, he should have a podcast.

I know. Well, he was un-art. We were honored. That was, and he got the job. So sweet. Take another caller. Hey, Miles, I got this idea. Do you ready? I'm ready for it. What is it? All right. So you know, on new years, like if you're getting ready to celebrate, ringing the new year, what do you do? Trinking lines historically speaking.

He usually would pop a bottle of champagne. Yeah. Pop a bottle of the fizzy. Well, yeah. Little, I think that's lame. I agree. And I think what you should do is pop a bottle of the fizzy. Well, yeah, little, I think that's lame. I agree. And I think what you should do is pop a bottle of tippy cow. And I say this for a couple reasons. One, it's a superior alcoholic beverage. And two, nobody is going to ring in the new year with a cork in the eye.

Well, actually, what I was going to say is we should talk to tippy cow and see if they can cork a bottle for us. Well, that would be fun too. You need to carbonate the Tipeek out. Probably. The problem though is that there's no carbonation and it just won't pop. Do you think you can get like a wine bottle then? Do you think you could carbonate the Tipeek out? We could talk to them. See if we get a carbonated cow. Carbonated cow. I bet you that they breed carbonated cow is somewhere. Yeah, you know, place is going to do it. It's Wisconsin and they the tippy cows made from real Wisconsin cows. It is. So guys, I think we got some new good ideas for the new year. Pop open a bottle

of a tippy cow. Instead of that old champagne, you won't regret it. Nope. Pop it on back. Chippy cow. Welcome to the Belly and a podcast who we got. Hey, Josh. Howdy, Josh, where are you calling in from? Over here in Michigan, the real man. Oh, yeah, it's freaking Josh Josh get over it. Get over it. We're in Michigan. We're in Michigan. Are you in the part that looks like a man or the part that is also part of Michigan. That looks nothing like a man.

Grand Rapids. We had someone else from Grand Rapids. Grand Rapids. Yeah. Well, good for you. All right. Well, what's on your mind? Fellabelli up to the bar with us.

Well, it's my birthday today. Iella belly up to the bar with us. Well, it's my birthday today. So I was hoping you guys get singing Happy Birthday. Happy Happy birthday from all of us to you. Happy Happy Birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. All right. Thanks for calling in. Say a Josh and do that. What do you want for your birthday? Josh, what do you want for your birthday? Well, I'm getting a little older now. So I'm underwear.

Socks and underwear. 20. 20. Oh, God. You're a young buck. That you old. You're not too old. You're a young buck. You're already asking for socks and underwear at 20 years old.

Don't you want a PlayStation or something? Yeah. Yeah. Video games are my thing. What is your thing? Yeah, what gets you going, guy? Power sports. Power sports.

Sports. Sports with gas. Jet. Oh, what's your power sport on? What's your power sport of choice? Well, I like going and hitting the silver like sand dunes over here in Michigan. So I got my four wheeler and I go up there and rip about every couple of days. It's closed now, but God power, power sports lingo is so intimidating. I know. It just sounds so cool when he says that.

And I just, I would not know how to do it. Rip the sand dunes. Yeah. I think you just go really fast around the sand dunes. No, I'm, no, I'm saying. I don't know how to like talk like that. Oh, yeah. I would just say we would go to the sand dunes.

I wouldn't say we go rip them. You would just say rip it up and send it and all that sort of shit. We care. We tear it up. Yeah, they tear it up. There you go. Anything that just use any verb that's destroying something and that usually goes well, right? Burn it up, you know, going annihilate those sand dunes. Maybe not. Maybe I just showed my new bee, this. Um, well, cool Josh.

What did you call in for today or just a happy birthday song? My, uh, my neighbor, little, you got a couple of screws loose. And I've been doing a lot of things for lately. And I figured you guys can maybe break this down for me. All right. Give us the background baby. So a bit of a backstory for the longest time.

Well, she's lived here as long as I've been like kids. So she hated me. She hated our whole family and just like all the American flags, she thought we were raised with. And she didn't like us at all. And one day on my front yard a couple of years ago, she asked me to motor long. And I knew she didn't like me and I wanted to say no. But I just went ahead and said yes anyway,

because that's what we do around here. And I went motor long. She asked me next week, I motor long. And then she started to come a little more fine to me. And that's what she's single, divorce, she live alone, no car. She's kind of at her house all the time. It's kind of turned into she always asked me about every day to do something for her.

I'm kind of sick and tired of it. I won't lie. Is she paying you? No. How old is it? She doesn't have a job either. That's the other thing. How old is she? Like, if you something. She hot.

like he's something. She hot. Shirley. It's a joke, dude. It's a joke. Okay. We're all your laugh together. I don't know why that was so offensive. My friends will say otherwise, but I do not find her attack. Okay. So she is not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. Power sports guy. You know, he's cut off at this. He's given a little nip slip once a while. Yeah. The deep hole. I'll wear my cut off. Yeah. That's you. Well, have you ever had to fix anything in her bedroom before? No, whenever she asked me to fix something or how I saw, I'll usually come up with some ski or some like, can't go in there, because I don't want things to accidentally go

the wrong way. So do you I mean, I can't go in there because I don't want things to accidentally go the wrong way. So do you, are you, I mean, I was going to say, are you actually concerned that she's going to try and come on to you? Yes, genuinely concerned. This the other day, she asked me to come inside and like, she wanted me to put some electrical tape on the wires to her vacuum because they were afraid and she don't want to get letched to you. I offered any other alternative for me to not go on there. I'm so distressed.

Completely avoiding that. Well, that vacuum won't suck if you don't do that, Josh. Well, if my vacuum won't suck, then I guess. I should have known it was going to go this way with you guys. Josh, you go this way. Yeah, don't blame this on us. So one thing, Josh, I will just throw out there and you can take it or leave it. I may be out of line, but the whole thing I think that this is about is it's about the chase for her, right?

And it's the one that she can't have keeps her coming back for more. So I think you might just have to give in one time, then she'll get disinterested. Give in one time, make it the absolute awful in the whole scenario, and then she'll never bother me again, right? But I mean, logic makes sense to me.

I'm not going to do that. I like to not do that. So this is, uh, do you live with anyone? Yeah, I think my parents are moving out is probably the best option right about now. I think so when you're 20 years old, it's about that time. Do you have a girlfriend, boyfriend? No, single is a cringle old. It's about that time. Do you have a girlfriend, boyfriend?

No, single as a cringle man. Single as a cringle. All right, your last to raw, you gotta go fix her pipes and then just move. I think that's just, you know? I wish I could get into all the details, man, but I'll be sitting on the driveway, working on my four wheeler and she'll just be in her window staring at me. For hours.

Oh my God. Does she have binocs? I mean, it's kind of creepy. She never has any of her lights on. You can just see her big old frizzy blonde hair staring at me through her. I believe her kitchen window, but I've never been in there. So I don not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything.

I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say no. I ended up bringing her, like I ended up getting roped in because I couldn't say no. I brought you a therapy appointment for like two and a half months. I think. I think the most midwest.

I mean, I saw that. I didn't think I could say no to anything. You are so midwest nice, dude. You are so midwest nice. Is her daughter attractive? I don't think I've ever actually seen her daughter face to face. Have you ever? I have her number because you always come over

and ask me to text her because she's an elephant. Have you seen the movie The Graduate? I can't say I have. The watch. You should watch that. OK. OK. I think you got to move out, right?

You're 20 now. So, you know, when you move out, you leave your problems behind. Is she paying you good money to do this stuff? Zero. Zero money. No, I never, I never ask for a dime and don't expect a thing. Oh, God.

Well, dude, that's,'s so your Midwest nice and she is misconstruing that for you thinking that you want to spend time with her. So you guys start charging her. Is I think what needs to happen? So far gone though, you can't go from not charging for years and then all of a sudden charging. I think he's got to make a change. That's why he's calling us. It's like the complete opposite of being Midwest nice. It's just like out of the blue, starting to charge on. I mean, I raked her far bed a couple of weeks ago. And I think she just wanted to talk to me because that she was outside.

Yeah. And all right. I got a solution for you. Okay. You're going to have to find some other poor soul in the neighborhood to take over your duties. That's true. You've done your time. All my neighbors are old. I know. I'm like the only young buck around here. Well, then you need to have a kid and then make your kid do the stuff for.

My brother's getting a little older, but my parents are kind of sketched out about how to test use with me. She's a kind of concern. Yeah, hold on about him going home. Why are your parents step in here? What's going on? I don't think, oh, no, maybe that's the next step. I mean, I'm sure she'd go out of her way to ask my parents to ask me to do something. Well, actually, you kind of buried the lead that you got the heir to the throne here. You just got to hand all the duties off to your brother. Yeah, hold your bro. 11, 12, perfect date to start Moan.

And it's not all at once. You just got a, you know, oh, baby child though. My parents don't want to put them on the mower. I know, but he's got to grow up at some point, you know, they got one kid living with them at 20 and they got 11 year old. They won't let mower. I mean, they got a time to cut the cord, don't you think? It's not a bad option. Yeah. Yeah, you just say, hey, someone out. Yeah, I, I can't do it today.

So my brother's going to do it. And then you just slowly work them into the rotation and then you right off in the sunset. Oh. Or just you start talking to where a goal over there a few times, it's just start talking about your girlfriend that you don't have. Just let her know you got a girlfriend. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like a, it's kind of like catfishing. All right. I got to go to my girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, uh, it's kind of like catfishing. All right. I got to go to my girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. And say I'm really in love with her. I think we're going to make it official pretty soon. Yeah. No, I got to go. Mo my girlfriends long. They were going to move to Alaska. Yeah. Although,

Josh, dude, what do you think? What would you do if like her daughter came over at some point and her daughter was the most stunning gal That you've ever met really hit it off with her would you go down that road with her daughter? I think your daughter's pretty old though like 30-something not that that's old you bastard You know what Do you see that do you see what you did there? Yeah, it's fine. We're old. We know that. All right. Well, does that matter? You know, you're 20. Bange. You're already basically...

You've got a house, you know? I mean, you're already basically dating a 60-year-old. So what's the difference? Yeah. I mean, it's right across you from my parents. I think if maybe me and my neighbor just get together and then eventually I'll get the house to live across you from my parents. You go to our thing. So I'm a negative into a positive. I mean, you basically already have a girlfriend anyways. It's like, lean in and do stuff. You don't want to do for no pay. That's like, you have a girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. You've been dating this gal for a long long time my guy Always keeping tabs on you. Yeah, you've been wrong. You've been wrong. You're into Congress. I give jealous of another girl camera too

Yeah, that is true Well, I think you just I think yeah, I think you just got a barrier That's a solution. Okay. I'll make sure that you guys invite. Please do. I would love to be at that wedding actually. That would be one for the books. Miles and I will be your Oshers. Perfect. That would be funny. We showed up where the Oshers and then she just starts barking orders at us. You know, she's like, we were placed. Yeah, you go give me a coffee. Next, you know, we're zipping up her dress and we're like in the family photos. What's going on? This lady is crazy. But you lover, you

know, the things we do for love. Well, happy birthday, my guy. What are you guys doing tonight to celebrate you and your neighbor? I just eating some pizza. No, not me in my neighbor, my family. I just eating the pizza and hanging out, packing up a full of engine on my four-wheeler tonight and just fix that up for you. You know what this situation is? What? It's like on step-reathers when will Farrell is in love with this Therapist and she does not want to and then eventually they end up together. This is what this situation is just all man, but in reverse she's starficion

Mm-hmm Well, I'm excited I'm excited to birthday. so I have a birthday. And it's also really exciting that you got a girlfriend. It's awesome. Yeah, you're really growing up fast. I'm a change that's bad at some Facebook. Yeah, I mean, look at you.

You turned 20 and you got 30-year-old daughter. So that's something cool. Yeah, it's the dad. Yeah. Good for you, man. We're proud of you. And grandchildren, man's the dad. Yeah. Good for you, man. We're proud of you. And grandchildren, man. And grandchildren. Yeah. You're your Instagram. He's a grandpa, dude, at 20 years old.

That's awesome. Tell it. Tell your wife and grandkids. We says, hi. Okay. I will do. I appreciate it, guys. All right, pal. Happy birthday. We'll see you. Thank you. I will go on. appreciate it guys. All right, pal. Happy birthday. We'll see you. Thank you. I will go on by. Bye. Bye. Bye. Well, Charlie, well miles, another problem solved. Yeah, I think we saw that. That's a classic just skier and steer into the skin. Yeah. You know, steer into the skin and you're just now dating.

Yeah. No need to fight it. No, they bend dating. They bend dating. And once you're dating, then you can end it. You know, you can say this just in, working out. Yeah, then it's a clean break. Clean break. Yeah.

Because that's what happens with this Midwest nice stuff. I know I'm wearing the shirt, which you can buy a Mantua, Mantua. But that's one of the dangers of the Midwest nice. Sometimes people see your niceness. They get advantage of it. They see it as pre-forenication material. That's one of the dangers of the Midwest nice, is sometimes people see your niceness. They get advantage of you. They see it as pre-foreign occasion material. And they don't take hints,

because they keep dropping hints that they like you and you keep dropping hints to them that you're gonna, you're gonna, you know, unclog their pipes. And they start, or fill their pipes. And they start wondering what or fill their or fill their pipes and they start wandering what other things you can fill and from there it just becomes a whole battle of mental hanky-panky and that's the danger that's life that is life well miles another part of life is hanging out with your

buddy at the bar and it's been a real pleasure with you today. Yes, Charlie. So guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Belly Up Podcast. As always, Charlie. Tip your bartender. See you in the next one.