Bellied Up - How to Not Hit Deer #39
Episode Date: March 3, 2023Presented by Fleet farm In this episode we talk to a guy tells us his story at a waste water treatment plant, next caller can't stop hitting deer we give her some expert analysis on how not to, Last c...aller is wondering how long a best man speech should be.
Transcript
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Hey, everybody welcome to another episode of the Belly Up podcast.
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We love it.
Miles, you got a little bad joy party coming up this weekend.
Fella.
Oh my gosh.
I'm super bummed that I can't make it.
I'm just trying to climb the invite.
Hey, I was I was booked already.
You didn't ask me what weekend is good for me to attend your bachelor party before planning it.
Yeah, you're right. You're right. My bad. All right, Miles.
It's, it's, you're a very Midwest fellow. And where are you doing your bachelor party? Where did you decide?
Are you snowboarding it? Yeah, I want to play some golf. I'm a bachelor party. So, so where are you going?
On Arizona. Arizona. Nice. Plus, it's like the only place like that that's got a direct fright from Fargo
So
Take into account living in Fargo is how many layovers do you want to do in different cities?
So and your brother is planning it
Yeah, I mean loosely loosely who's really planning it who's doing the work together? I think doing it together.
Yeah. Um, no. So that's kind of too much of a control freak to just let someone plan a whole party
for me. You know what I mean? See, I'm the exact opposite. You didn't you didn't plan anything
for your bachelor party? My bachelor party, I, my buddy was also getting married. So I, we basically
just made it a joint bachelor party. We went skydiving in Racine, Wisconsin, you know,
which I don't even think the place is open anymore.
I don't know. It was it was fun. Have you ever been skydiving? No,
I don't want to do it. Yeah, it's kind of a goofy thing.
Kind of a waste of gas, but you know, it's honestly, it's, well,
I mean, think about it. That's, you know, that's honestly, it's, well, I mean, think about it. That's, you know,
that's a, it was fun. I'm glad I did it. I don't think I'm going to go do it again. Anyway,
this isn't about me though. Miles is about you. You're going to go play some golf.
Classic barons. Making it all about himself. Miles, what are you going to be doing? Festivities
wise outside of the golf? Ah, just drinking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you're not really into those classic bachelor parties.
Oh, no, we'll be at the strip club.
I think we got a couple of strippers coming over to the bear B and B probably like, I
don't know, talked on YBR by two per guy.
Really?
Yeah.
You're going to want to cancel your gig and come.
No, I there's no.
There will be no strippers. I feel like that's a lost art. The stripping. Yeah,
the bachelor parties have strippers. I think that that's not a thing anymore. No, I
think I, you know, it's kind of one of those. I don't know. Is that a thing? I
actually haven't been to a bachelor party in a while. I've been to quite a few
bachelor parties
now. No strippers at any of them. Well, that's probably for the best. I would agree. It's a lot of
money to spot. I'm feeling a little bad for strippers are not making as much money these days because
they're not having bachelor parties. I bet you. I bet you people don't think about the economy and the
the type of toll that modernization of bachelor parties have taken on the stripping
community.
It's a great way to start this podcast, Miles.
I have not heard this thesis yet, but I'd love to hear what your solution is to this economic
problem.
Well, we've got to start.
If we're not going to have strippers at bachelor parties anymore, we've got to start
including them in other activities.
I've got to find another way to for them to start including them in other activity. I got to find another
way to for them to get their bag, you know. I suppose that's true. Look at a real man of the
people. Yeah. All right. So what do you think a good spot for strippers to be aware of what's?
Well, first of all, pole dancing is a is not only an art form. Sorry. You're right. I shouldn't
I should be calling them dancers. I shouldn't be calling them strippers.
Yeah, exotic entertainers.
I apologize.
You know, and honestly,
where should we put it?
We be putting these exotic dancers.
Well, I think there's actually plenty of venues.
There's a lot of like burlesque shows and all that,
which are actually kind of fun to watch, you know.
Why is that?
Or if you call it burlesque, it's different.
Yeah, why is it fun to watch?
Well, because the athleticism of these folks
is incredible. It really is. Have you ever done pole dancing?
Do you think that they make a reinforced steel pole?
They don't. That's what I'm going to get you for a wedding present, I think.
Get me a pole that actually will support my weight. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll make it a flagpole so it's not just going to waste.
You know, we'll put it right out in front, you know, it's just outside your garage where
you got all your workout stuff.
Just miles, you know, right in the pole.
Well, that'd be fun.
Yeah.
That'd be really good.
I guess we could put it.
I mean, I take that back.
They make poles that are getting them.
Firemen's pole.
Yeah, you get a firemen's pole?
That'd be cool.
Do you think Ann will let you put a firemen's pole
in your house?
I think I just won't tell her if we build a new house.
I'll just sneak one in.
Are you building a new house?
No, I'm saying if I ever build a new house,
I'm gonna sneak it in and just label it something else.
I'll call it a laundry shoot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She goes, she's like, and this is laundry shoot. Let's keep going.
Wait, whatever.
And then I'm got it.
I'm doing something or whatever.
And she opens the door to the laundry shoot.
And it's just a fireman's pole.
And she's like, oh, that's some a bit.
Uh, well, so I was thinking, you know, like why not have like, you know, at retirement
parties, why do we not have strippers at it?
You know, I was doing the stripper thing.
Well, that's what I was trying to get to is like, you know, where is some good spots
that we could include them in?
Cause they've lost batch of the bachelor party thing.
I honestly don't know if they've lost the bachelor party thing.
I think a lot of people are still, I just haven't gone to a lot of bachelor parties in recent memory, you know,
Jameen the ones I want to go. I can't really have you been at a bachelor party with a stripper. I haven't. Well, all right. Well, then I'm wrong. Okay. Well, they can teach pole dancing classes yoga, Pilates, you know, I mean, these are some athletic gals. Yeah, it's like, yeah, let's maybe bring the outdoor cat inside, is what you're saying.
Well, they're indoors in the, I'm trying to find the analogy here.
But that's historically, well, a wild outdoor cat that, you know, does some risque stuff.
We got to, you know, pull them risqué stuff. Uh huh. We got to, you know, pull them
inside. Yeah. Have them do some fitness classes. Yeah. Yeah. It is quite the workout doing that.
Okay. Well, there's some ideas. So what are you guys going to do at night then when you're
guys going to play cards? What are you going to do for? We're going to go to Twin Peaks. Oh,
Twin Peaks. Okay. There you go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a nice establishment.
I hear they got really good wings.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Every time someone says like, who does or Twin Peaks has good wings, it's kind of like
saying, you know, I read the playboy for the articles.
Yeah.
Well, no, I watched that documentary about playboy and they said that they were absolutely
monumental in the media landscape.
Oh, I came out.
There was a sell.
Articles were.
I do think they actually had some.
No, it was a self-done documentary.
Oh, yeah.
The end of like this was brought to you by a Playboy.
Playboy.
Playboy.
Yeah, I don't know what's that got to do.
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah, tell your own story as opposed.
But yeah, I think you're just going to do the classic, you know, bachelor party stuff.
Maybe drink yourself into oblivion, play some golf, probably smoke some cigars, you know,
you know, it feels like a bachelor party thing to do with smoke cigars.
Sure. Yeah, have some stovies. I'm actually a little upset that I'm not going because
now I'm going to be out of the loop during the wedding.
Yeah.
Like the thing is with a bachelor party, it's a way for you to make friends before the
wedding.
And then we get to the way.
It's like, oh, Dave, what's up, man?
Geez.
Last time I saw you, you were face down in a snow bag in Arizona.
How that happened, you know?
But no, it's going to be awkward for me coming to your wedding because I'm coming
You know, I'm coming there. I'm gonna have to make fast friends with everybody like at the ceremony
I'll be making you know what I'll have to say though Charlie is I think no matter what I don't think you're gonna have too
Tough a time making friends one nervous about that, you know, and so I kind of
Inside joke and tell everyone coming to the wedding,
we're gonna email everyone but you and say,
don't talk to Charlie Barron says a bit.
Even if he tries to talk to you, don't talk to him.
That would be really funny.
That would be really funny if you did that,
but you just told me now.
So yeah, but you're like, there's no way he's gonna do it.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
And then I'll probably forget about this
because I forget like everything, you know. So yeah, that actually would be really mean of you.
Oh, hey there, guy. What? Why are you walking away? I don't know. Miles is doing that thing. I don't appreciate your impression to me, by, okay.
So, uh, can we eat before we do this podcast?
Do normal me not hung over me.
Do not.
I'm trying to get your voice.
You kind of talking the back of your throat a little, do a little nasal, do normal me
not.
So, okay.
Do you like this hat? I think they'll sell. I hate it. That was
my idea. It's Tyler's idea. Stupid. Well, you want to snack?
There's some jerky there.
It's probably expired.
So I've been thinking, then you walk over to the whiteboard and you just draw like a
bunch of stick figures, such a circles.
Yeah.
Every time I walk into Miles's office, he's got this whiteboard
there with, and I try to figure out the story of what inspired what is on the whiteboard. Because
it is, it's like squiggly lines, some mountains, you know, a person on the mountain climbing it,
an arrow headed down the mountain, another arrow. Random words. Yeah, random words. Something that just says like potential or like industry standards stuff like this random
words.
Yeah, it's like you were watching a YouTube podcast or a YouTube video on how to build a business
and then you were just regurgitating like what you remembered from like kind of.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's good.
Well, it's how you got here.
So, you know, right there, you contributed to the bachelor party.
That was, that was my roast.
Oh, oh, that's, uh, I'm, I'm missing your roast.
Yeah.
You've got a roast in me.
You know, I could have roasted you in Fargo on stage, but I chose not to.
Why didn't you miss an opportunity?
I did miss an opportunity because you did not hold any punches back in that.
You know, did we say how you ended it on there?
Did we say that?
Yeah, it was up on stage.
And then Miles, he roast me for five minutes and then he goes, no, I'm kidding.
Charlie's actually a pretty good guy, even though he got divorced.
Okay, here he is.
The audience just confused
They're like wow, that was like actually way too far. Yeah for roast. Yeah
Well
Callers Charlie
Take some colors welcome to the belly to podcast who we talking to
Take some colors. Welcome to the Belly to podcast who we talking to. Oh wow. Hi Charlie and uh models. My name is Rain.
Rain? Yeah like the weather but it's felt like Wayne but with an R instead of a W.
Yeah. Wayne with an R. What's cooking my man?
I would I'm driving home from work. I'm a wastewater operator and I'm listening to the podcast like I do every day. I'm sorry, I'm shocked right now that I'm actually talking
to you.
Rain, first of all, rain, that's the perfect name for a wastewater operator because you know when it rains
That's when it's toughest on the system. Is it not?
Yes, yes, Charlie. Yes, it is.
Rain also. Sorry. Sorry. I just I thought of the greatest tagline if you were ever a bartender. You're ready for it?
You could be mixing up a drink
You got the bottle you're tipping bartender, you're ready for it? You could be mixing up a drink.
You got the bottle, you're tipping it in and you're go,
you know what?
When it's rain, it pours.
Ah.
That was a polite laughter, rain just gave you.
He just gave you a polite laughter on that.
My rains and pours.
Well, when it rains, it pours.
You got to make it rains.
I know, but you changed it to when it's rain, it pours. You got to make it rains. I know you changed it when it's rain. It pours
When it rain at pour when it
Anyways, sorry
And when they come in they make their money rain at me and then it pours. Ah, yes, make it rain
You know make it rain then I'll pour. There you go. I'm liking this
rain. Hey, where are you managing the wastewater facility? What city? I mean, my facility is out here in
Holly Ridge, North Carolina. Oh, I was about it. Okay. Nice. Well, what's on your mind, Rayn? Belly on up to the bar with us.
Well, I, I recently, I have, I've seen your channel,
Charlie for a long time now, like since, since COVID, really,
yeah. And I found the podcast,
I want to say about a month ago, and I've already gone through it all
on bottom line for Tuesday.
Oh, that's awesome.
Man, we'll thanks for doing that.
I'm, I'm thankful for the entertainment.
It helps me get through these long days.
Trust me.
I this past weekend, I was working a 13 hour on Saturday, Sunday.
And then today I did a 12 and I got to go back in at 2 a.m.
Holy smokes, we got to do more episodes for you.
Well, I'm going to be looking forward to it. It's funny that you said
made that fun miles because I was just listening when I had seen that you guys
that tweeted. I was just listening to the one where you were talking to the guy
about that. What was that? Some kind of beer you were talking to the guy about that
What was that?
Some kind of beer he was trying to get you guys to drink and you said it sounded like a gas Charlie. Oh, yeah. Yeah, grain bell.
I think
Green Hill. Yeah, that's right. And
You guys were just talking about how miles was trying to steal your puns under.
My pun thunder. about how miles was trying to steal your punthunder.
My punthunder.
I said that.
Yeah, um, I said punthunder.
I mean, you didn't say punthunder. Trust me. That was that was out of my stupid mouth. I like pun thunder I don't know to I was gonna take credit for you. Yeah, yeah, that sounds like me
Yeah, that sounds like me. Well, you didn't say it. Oh, okay fair enough
Well, rain what's oh go ahead your mid story keep going guy
Well, Raym, what's the name? Oh, go ahead, your mid story. Keep going, guy.
Oh, I was just going to say that like a couple of days ago,
I was at the plant and I had you guys playing in the background.
And I was replaying the dish chicken up,
so because it was just, it was funny.
And I'm at this place.
We have this place called a spray field.
It's where we spray and irrigate.
So it's our post cleanse water.
It's called creek water, essentially, is what we call it.
Because it's essentially as clean as the water you
would find in a natural running creek at this point.
Sure, yeah, you can do it.
And yeah, so we have infiltration basins and sprayfield
that has over a thousand spray heads on it.
So part of my job is making sure
that these spray heads operate properly.
That's a big time.
So it can be, especially in the heat,
luckily though, it's cooled down out here though,
and I'm real happy about that.
But the weird thing about it though
is that the entrance of our spray field
is the Holly Ridge Police Department shooting range.
So it's inside of our property in our fence.
So we go through the fence to go work on our spray head and there's
you know at least twice a week there's about five or six top at the shooting range with an instructor
and I had the gift chicken episode on and I had gone on the side of the shooting range because it's
covered by a massive dirt firm. So there's no, there's
no way of ricochets or anything like that, luckily. And I am bent over in the field covered
in mud and just dirty and it's, you know, not a good time. But I've got the radio playing.
I've got the radio playing the this chicken episode
and it gets to the part and I'm kind of zoned out at this point because I'm really focused on work.
But I've got it turned up loud enough
so I can still hear you guys.
And it goes silent for a couple seconds
and that's when I caught on that I didn't hear it anymore.
And then it was just the guy shooting the shotgun.
And it made me jump.
And in the process of that, I turned around,
and I looked at my truck, and I kind of laughed.
But when I had jumped, I didn't realize I dropped my screwdriver.
So I got back down on my knee to get it,
to get back onto the
spray head I was working on, and I knelt down on the screwdriver and it duped right into my cast.
Oh no.
Son of bitch.
You know, screwdrivers, they got to come with a warning on them. I've been saying this for years.
Yeah, it's one of those tiny, tiny ones that has to be able to fit into the nozzle of the sprayer.
So I can get things like dead bugs and frogs and little rocks out because that's what really clogs them up a lot.
And so I just dropped it when I knelt down something both me and I thought I had I had knelt down on a strong piece of
Hey, but then when I looked down and saw that I had a screwdriver handle sticking out of my leg. I was like, oh wait a minute
Tell me more about yeah, yeah, what I love. Hey, do you ever want to? Let's leave.
I we need to know more.
Tell us more of what happened after that.
Well, I only got in.
I would probably say about like a half an inch.
So I just I just ripped it out and went to go clean it.
And that was the end of that.
I just thought it was really funny because of circumstances.
I was, because at first I heard the shotgun
and I like stood up because I was like,
are they even going to shotgun right now with a range?
Ha, ha, ha.
Well, this is great.
This is great.
You know, I love how we can just integrate ourselves
into your work day here and also wound you in
the process.
I do apologize about that.
Yeah, you all healed up.
How are that just happened?
It was, I was working on an off week schedule.
We do eight on and six off.
So it had to have been two weeks ago.
What's the weirdest thing you saw over there
at the wastewater treatment facility?
Well, we have this thing inside our actual plant,
which everything is gated by the way.
We've got three locations that we operate
there. We have two operators and our supervisors, so we're a very close knit team. That is crucial
details for the story you are about to tell. I know, I know, I know, I'm excited about where this is going, because you've really laid out a fortress of fences
and a team.
So what happened then?
So inside of our actual main play,
where we do 90% of our actual operating
is that's where our influence is coming in at.
Yeah.
And so we have this thing called a reject basin.
And that's where we bypass when our think about our equalization tank,
which is what takes in all of the influence.
When it gets too full,
we bypass into our reject basin.
And so it's just, it's a huge,
I'd say about,
maybe a quarter acre size pond that we hold the dirty water to
be clean for.
And there is a 10 foot long alligator that lives in it.
What?
And he is white with black stripes on his tail.
You got a zebra alligator living
in your wastewater treatment facility?
I have a picture of it that I would be happy to send.
Yeah, send it over.
Twitter.
Send it over now.
I'll definitely
I'll definitely
I'll definitely
I'll definitely
Is this just a white alligator who found some shit
or is this an actual black and white alligator?
I can't, I best describe it as a mini boss you would find in red dead redemption too.
Can you tell me about Red Dead Redemption 2. I'll never heard these guys talk about me again.
Yeah, no, I mean, I'm looking up pictures of other black and white
alligators.
And all that's showing up.
This is a slack drawing.
Oh, wait, here's one white alligator.
And then there's also with a black alligator.
Yeah, so you got now bino alligator.
I wouldn't necessarily say that's what I was saying.
I wouldn't necessarily call that bino, but he's a light gray.
Well, he doesn't, he's not.
He said he was white.
He's pretty white.
When I send a picture over, you'll understand. Yeah, maybe we need to see a picture.
Is that some weird chemicals in the in the wastewater treatment facility that maybe turned them white?
Well, there wouldn't be any in the reject base in anything other than the normal stuff
that you would find in this kind of water, like a little bit of ammonia and phosphorus,
just like, you know, because like there is urine in there.
Oh, the saline.
But now it's like the piss. Yeah, I would say so. He recently found out though that just we've known about that one
for a good minute now. But we recently found out because my boss was taking a look at
at the reject basin and a baby popped up out of the water right next to him. And human, the baby. The baby.
No, a baby alligator miles.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, miles was it.
I see, I'd be leaving that job.
Okay, all right.
So leaving the job.
No, miles, you know, cheese cookies.
So if there's a baby alligator, there must be more than one
aligators because I don't think aligators, I'm not a biologist. I don't think they're
asexual. They don't, they don't do it like plants do.
That's, that's kind of where the problem is, Charlie, because we've not seen another one.
Wow. That comes back to the detail of how heavily fenced it is.
Yeah.
Which is that crucial detail.
And you know that your body's not lying about it
because you are a tight knit group.
Exactly.
They took a picture of it.
Well, we want to see these pictures.
That can be easily doctored as it is.
Is the baby alligator albino as well or no.
He also looked at Gray's like a little bit of a Gray,
but we do have a third one in one of our separate location.
He's all black and we call him Wally
because we've known him the longest.
That's what I would name an alligator
I've known the longest too.
What's the name of the albino alligator?
You know we actually hadn't come up with a name for it. What were you guys leading towards you think?
Here let me think of something you're poppacool to the poppac the popular quick. Okay.
Or you could just call them number one.
You know, because that would be
tippy.
Tippy.
Oh, tippy, the alligator.
The alligator that eats children.
Oh, no.
Miles said we're no children involved in this.
It was a baby alligator.
Oh, okay.
Well, geez, this is this is this is
gonna start trying here at some point. I still got to figure out how to do it. I haven't been
informed real well. Is there anywhere I can uh is there anywhere that like there's an instruction manual or like maybe
something that gets some tips from?
Rain, do you have any kids?
I have two boys Jackson and Jameson.
Well, Rain, you know how it's done.
Tell Miles how to have kids.
Okay, so you take the line and the coconut and you mix it all up.
Yeah, I'm not a big metaphor guy. You're gonna have to hit me in the head with it. What how does it go?
Hmm.
Now, how do I keep this family friendly is the real question? You know, God, we can bleep it all out if we need to.
Well, see, I got down to business as soon as I could because I was one of those guys who
was the oldest in the house, and I had a father who was deployed all the time and I had two younger sisters that I would take in care of.
And so once I met my wife when I was 19, we got pregnant about, we got pregnant a few months later actually,
because we had that when Hurricane Florence
torn North Carolina to shred.
And I had her moved down here with me.
And three months later, we found out she was pregnant.
And so our son Jackson was born in 2019 and then our son
Jameson was born February of 2022.
Wow.
Okay.
So, yeah, no.
Yeah, I hope you turn it.
So, can you describe to me how sex works?
I tried to get past that, Miles. You're really going to make me say it. Can you describe to me how sex works?
I tried to get past that miles. You're really gonna make me say it. Yeah
All right, will you take you take
Yeah, you undo your pants right You're gonna have to explain to your kids at some point man. So let's practice I can't fucking do this.
You're going to have to explain to your kids at some point, man.
So let's practice now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're having the talk.
Pretend Miles is James in and have the talk with him.
All right.
So, but I've always had it in my mind that I would make it uncomfortable as hell for my
kids.
You can do that here.
Explain to them how sexy their mother is.
Wow.
Wow.
Okay.
Let's go.
I am feeling so uncomfortable, but all right.
All right.
I thought you were supposed to make me uncomfortable.
Not you.
Yeah.
Rain, what's this about for you?
Why are you uncomfortable?
I'm just trying to keep it family friendly, but if we're not going to do that, then all
right.
Just give it.
You already dropped the F bond, Rain.
So, you know, family friendly went out the window. Let's hear how babies
are made.
All right, Miles. So what you do is you find someone you really, really care about.
Done.
And you make sure they do care about them. And it's also important that they care about you so that you can both really feel the love.
I don't know what you're saying.
And then you take all your clothes.
Oh, go. You're getting to the good part.
And then you snap that belt buckle off.
You smack her on the ass with it and you tell her, way with the belt buckle,
with the entire belt.
Oh, that's way different.
Wow.
Okay.
And then, I've now taken off my belt.
I've smacked her in the ass with my belt.
Now what?
What if Ann doesn't like the whole belt thing?
Just let him, we got to get we just
just close. Well, you know, he went for the belt thing. I don't
think they need a belt deal to get into this, but okay, you know,
I, hey, I'm not going to question how Jameson was born. If your
wife's into it, that's great. So okay, so you are speaking from experience, you use the belt, then what?
And then you get under the covers, you take all your clothes off and you just roll around
together and tell things happen. All right, that's it. Wow. Just roll around. Just roll around till
things happen. All right, well, you're going to want to work on round. I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round.
I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round. I'm going to go to the next round. I, this is been a really good call.
You got anything to buy, sell, or trade?
Maybe a belt.
Well, actually, you know, I do have one question real quick, Charlie, if you don't mind, answer it for me.
Sure, rain. Let me know. Well, I started making these just fun little YouTube videos for my channel that I just
thought were fun to make, put together their little gaming music videos. And I've been at it now for
probably about a year. And I've made, I've made little headway,
but I would like to know if you have any kind of advice
on getting into that platform.
Yeah, there are YouTube videos.
What's the name of your YouTube channel, Rain?
It's Shinobi Ocean.
Shinobi Ocean, how do you spell that?
Shinobi Ocean. Shinobi Ocean. How do you spell that?
It would be SHI and OBI Ocean.
Okay, and that's the name of your YouTube channel. All right, and what kind of videos did you say gaming videos? Yeah, they're these short between two to four minute videos. They're with some music playing in the background
and it's just gameplay.
And with a little bit of memes sprinkled in,
a lot of times the channels that do these kind of videos,
they throw in too many memes
and it gets too convoluted with the gameplay.
And so I wanted to present more play over memes
because everyone sees means everywhere.
Well, I'm now your 20.
You don't want a meme of them to death, you know?
That can get out of hand.
Yeah.
I'm now your 28th view on what's the name of this video.
MW2 is out, I guess.
Okay, you're gonna want to work on your titleing, maybe make something a little more
engaging of that.
Now, let's read your description, occupying my time waiting for gun, game and or gun
fights, knockouts, I though, MW2 gameplay to the music of kale scrubie
donny dark old kale scrubie
yeah I am
I like that
yeah you know I I want to see more of you
that's my initial reaction there I like the the gameplay, you know, Elmit,
but I'm not a huge gamer.
So if you're asking me personally,
so the whole brain,
I want to get your person,
but you know what you should do.
It's all about finding your niche, okay?
So, you know, you start with this gameplay,
but then I want to hear about the wastewater treatment
facility. And so if you talk about the wastewater treatment facility while you're playing the game,
I mean, I think you could carve out a real good niche for yourself. Okay. You know what? Yeah.
I actually have to talk it. I've had the thought recently that I'm not a fan of kick talk, but I know the power behind it.
I've recently maybe starting either one of those
or just doing YouTube short and making a series of just,
basically what I'm doing at work and just recording,
you know, things like the gators popping up
and then times where I have to repair spray heads
and digs belts that could tear my arm off. You know things like the gators popping up and then times where I have to repair spray heads and
Big belts like a tear my arm off. Yeah, if you can make it
a lot like the grounds crew
TikTok where they replace the cups every morning and show how they repair grass and do all that
think you got a You got a real thing going but
You'll find your niche real quick.
And I like shorter videos are better
that way you can see how well it's doing and all that.
But get it after it go for it and send us your videos, man,
it was so much fun talking to you.
And shoot that a bino alligator with a camera, not a gun.
Put that a tic-tackel of that, okay?
Yeah, I'll send that picture over here in a minute.
Do you guys take a look at it sometime?
That'd be awesome, my guy.
Yeah, he was for calling in.
Thanks for answering.
It was a real pleasure talking with you guys.
You too.
Awesome.
Take care, my guy.
Everyone's gotten uncle just like him. Rain, I love my guy. Everyone's got an uncle just like him.
Rain, I love the guy.
I love the guy.
Just great guy, entirely too many details in stories.
He's a detail guy.
He's a detail guy.
He's a detail guy.
He's a detail guy.
And you know, he likes the details.
He wants to make sure he's really set in the scene.
Then the one thing we want to detail on,
he didn't give us any details.
It took him a while to get there,
and then he started going on some weird details
with that belt situation.
You know, I'm like,
Chase, a lease, you know.
All right, well, we got to take another call.
Yeah, you bet.
Cast, who's on the horn?
Hello, it's Shannon.
Hey, Shannon.
How you doing?
I'm good. I'm just driving home from work. Where do you work? I'm a nurse at an assisted living. Yeah, where?
South Dakota. Oh, what city? Uh, bill is really small. That's awesome. What street do you live on?
Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding.
I don't live in Phillip. Actually, I just work in Phillip.
Oh, real good. Well, uh, thanks for calling in.
Belly on up to the bar with us. What's on your mind?
I need some advice on how to not hit deer.
Oh, good. But very good. I need some advice on how to not hit deer.
Oh, good, very good. What a good grill guard for a durengo.
Okay, okay.
So you're looking for advice on how not to hit a deer
in the Midwest.
All right, here we go, Charlie.
Yep.
Charlie, how do you avoid deer with your car?
Okay.
First things first, work the bright scheme.
Okay, and you gotta do the brights, you gotta do them polite.
Okay, so if another car's coming, lose the brights,
but if there's not another car around,
pop those brights, make sure you got full visual.
I was maybe gonna go the other route.
You're saying headlights, brights.
Yep.
I'm saying just cut the headlights all together.
Because the last thing you want is a deer in headlights.
And that's when you end up hitting them.
They just stand there.
So if you don't have any headlights on, they'll just keep running by and you
won't hit them at all.
You should take our both those pieces of advice for the next week and tell us how
many deer you hit using miles as advice. Okay. Okay. So yeah. So first one, you know, you
try that. Second piece of advice is eyes always scanning. Okay. So constant vigilant eyeballs.
Yeah. Do not be text texting or be distracted driving that phone
should be on the on the driver's seat, okay?
And face down, all right?
So you and you're not just looking for deer, okay?
A lot of people that's the mistake they make.
They're just looking for deer and they miss the smaller
critters. Then all the sun, smaller critter comes out in the
road and all cheese
guise now you're trot now you're surprised by that and bam that's when a
deer jumps out okay don't get distracted by the small game run those right over
exactly in fact always run over anything no swerving that's how well I was
gonna be my next piece of advice is always have your hand on the e-brake.
So at any moment, you can then drift around whatever creature comes on the road, like Vin Diesel.
Okay, you can take miles of advice on that.
But when you tip over your car, you can call miles at hang on.
I'll give you his phone number.
Okay.
Okay.
So yeah, I would say you can come get me out of the ditch. He'll come get you out
the ditch. He's just in the in the top bunk in the of the Dakotas. I'm in North Dakota,
so it's not too far. Yeah, he'll come right down to the bottom. Bunke will help you out
that ditch. No problem. But yeah, I seem to be attracted to my car. I've already hit like four. You've hit four, dear.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, they, I have to leave for work at like four or five a.m.
and they just pop out of nowhere.
By the end of the winter,
you're gonna have a baker's dozen of deer, okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, now, are you, when you hit the deer,
have you kept any of them?
No, no, because they, I don't hit them hard enough to kill them.
Well, that's great. They're walking around wounded. That's okay. They'll get they'll get by a wolf. I'll get them later.
What do you mean you don't hit them hard enough to hit up?
All right, slower you drive. Yeah. Okay. Next piece of advice. Gun it when you see a deer so you can put them down humanely.
Yeah.
Or you'll just pass them, you know, because if you're going so slow, that's, that's why, you know,
if you were going faster, you would have missed all those deer.
Think about that.
Answer me this.
Do you happen to drive by a deer farm at all?
Yeah.
No, but I drive by a ton of cornfield.
Oh, okay.
So I do.
Yeah, maybe take a long way home.
You live on a farm, she's not going to avoid it.
You know, she's surrounded by cornfield.
Yeah.
So you live on farm.
For deer though, for deer is absolutely incredible.
You know what I think?
I think the next deer you hit, because like next week, you do need to have,
she uses my technique.
Well, Miles, I don't know.
I'm trying to not kill her, you know, in the deer's one thing, you know,
she would have her going fast and furious, Sioux Falls drift.
With no headlights on.
No headlights.
That is straight up. You're just you are basically giving her all
vindiesels. Remember that one where they turn their headlights off to go that's what you were doing.
I just got miles as Joe got all this. This is really good. No, the next deer you hit, you've got to
go track that deer down and clean the deer. And then I think you'll internalize what happens. The consequences
of hitting a deer and you're going to know that she's trying to avoid it. Well, I know
but I don't think she's internalized. It's not like she's like, Hey, I didn't hit any
deer on the way home. It's sucked. It was so uneventful. How much damage have you done to your Durango?
Oh, enough. Have you had to take it into the shop? Or is it just dense right now? Yeah, no, it knocked out my fog light the last
one and cracked the grill. Well, you're not using lights anymore.
So you don't got to worry about that. No, no, it is that one was fixed now. Uh, it was
probably $8,000 for the damage. Holy smokes. You got a big problem on your hands and no backstrap
even offset the cost of this. This is, this is terrible. And you, you haven't killed anyone dead. Not one is plopped down on the side of the road.
Not that I saw.
I stopped just to see the DM edge and then kept driving the work.
That was bloody.
Oh my gosh.
Well, I'm kind of,
oh, one thing you could do is you've ever seen Mad Max. I'll take that as a
no. What you could do is, oh, I said, have you ever seen Mad Max? I haven't yet.
Okay. Well, you watched that. They put some really interesting things
on the top of their grills,
like these long, like kind of spikes,
spiky situations.
I'm not saying spikes,
but kind of just put, like,
put up two big long PVC things.
Let's do like a shish kabob.
Well, you could like,
like a shish kabob.
Oh, yeah, so you put a little spike on the front,
and then as you hit them,
they just keep sliding further on.
And then when you get home,
you just throw it on the rotisserie and you got a whole lot
of cool of doing as well.
It's not bad at all.
That's one option.
Or you go to Fleet Farm, you get yourself some two by fours.
Okay. And you extend them off the top of your grill.
You kind of just drill them,
actually both sides of your car,
just drill them up to the door.
So you can still open the door, drill them there.
And then put two big medicine balls,
you know, the kinds of things that people get at their house,
you know, for like doing sit ups, but they never do it.
Then do basically
the two by fours are going to capture in these medicine balls. I say you get five, six
of them. You hit a deer. It's going to go blink and it's kind of just bounce. Yeah, just
duct tape. It can even be simpler than that. Just duct tape medicine balls to the front
of your grill. And then them deer, it's going to be like. They'll bounce off exactly. That's it. That's a solution. That's perfect. That's perfect. I'll get my husband
right on that. Okay. Real good. Yeah. And tell my set. So if you need help, miles will come
right down. Charlie, just do a tutorial video on this. I think this actually would be good.
How? Yeah. You were on YouTube. Yeah. we're not going to ever like completely be able
to stop hitting deer.
Let's just make it like softer for deer when they get hit, right?
So maybe even an airbag system could be good.
Oh, as soon as the deer comes in the road,
you just push a button and they, you know, explore it out.
The bags before.
Yeah.
The deer bag.
The deer bag. The deer bag, I like it. That's a YouTube
video. That is. Yeah, I think we'll have to put this on a video for sure. We'll use
your car miles. Yeah, we can use my car. Oh, you can use my durango. It's already got damage, so it's probably pretty smart. It's fixed. It's fixed now, but you know, it's inevitable.
It'll happen again.
Well, you know what?
Not anymore.
Not with the deer bags.
That's important.
That's right.
My husband getting tired of paying the insurance still on it.
So you're going to put a like cattle guard on the front of this thing or what?
If that will prevent the $8,000 with the DMF, I'm up for anything.
Possibly. I don't, I'm not, I'm not an expert in cattle guards, but
sounds like it could be a good choice.
It's good. I could try it.
Well, it seems like the deer, another good thing to help avoid is the deer
seem to be going in the middle of the road and you hitting them.
So you should try driving in the ditch.
Hmm. You don't have a drain go go where they're not. Wow. Yeah. That is kind of closer
to their habitat though. If you're in the ditch, but have you ever heard of anyone hitting
a deer in the ditch? No, I on the road. No, I haven't.
Yeah, actually, that's true.
When you put it that way, Miles, genius idea.
Thank you.
You know, I do have to ask why are all these deer so attracted
to you?
I've never heard of anyone hitting four deer
this close together.
Did anyone spill dopey in your car?
Are you riding windows down?
Are they attracted to something?
I don't know.
My kids like to drop a lot of food in the car.
Maybe.
Okay.
Maybe I don't.
Maybe just where I live.
Yeah, it's probably just where you're live.
You're like your local DNR needs to be handing out more deer tags so you can control some
of the population.
I think it's the real thing here.
Yeah. Yeah. I think I mean, I can get landowner tags and just start moan them down. Yeah.
You're already moan them down though. You know what you should do. I know what you should do.
You should, um, you should start breeding wolves. So yeah, that would be good. Yeah. Oh,
there you go. Yeah. Start start releasing wolves. Reintroduce the wolf population in South Dakota. Yeah,
you're going to piss off a few farmers, but you know, I mean, maybe more some ranchers.
I don't, I don't want to get rid of all the cows. Well, I barely want you to know the wolves
all have enough. The wolves all, although I suppose a cow is
slower than a deer, they're going to go right for the cows. Yeah. It's a tough one. I don't know.
I think deer bags is our best bet. So your bags is currently. Yeah. We'll be over in South Dakota.
We'll rig up your Durango with some deer bags. All Well, that's good. If you ever come to Wall South Dakota,
oh, yeah.
What?
You're in Wall South Dakota?
You're back in the Wall.
You're back in the Wall.
Yeah.
I didn't believe that anyone actually lives there.
Yeah, not a lot of people do.
I don't live in town.
I don't think I could ever live in that town.
I live north on a farm.
Okay, got you. You know what? What wall? It's South Dakota is famous for Charlie.
Dry wall. I don't know. wall drug. Oh, wall drug. How are you not
connecting? Smokes. I had no idea. Wow. Free ice water.
Free ice water.
Coffee is only five cents.
Well, Miles, I've been trying.
Yeah, you're, uh,
if you're honeymooning, you get a free donut.
Do you really?
Miles, forget about it.
I am.
Just go on.
Everyone where I'm going to be on my honeymoon.
Oh, well, what?
Anyways, it's a tourist trap. Don't waste your honeymoon. Oh, well, what anyways?
It's a tourist trap the oyster time. Oh, don't stone under sell it like that.
And soon while South Dakota is also going to be known as the birthplace of the deer bag.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we'll be able to put up a billboard.
You know, just say we could put up a few more billboards
I don't have enough of them. Yeah, where we could advertise the deer bag, and you can only pick it up and we're all
I love this. I'm so so glad you called in. Well until we get there do us a favor
Watch for deer
I'm a flavor. Watch for deer. I'm sorry for deer.
Yeah.
I'll try my best.
All right.
Well, your best has not been good enough to date.
So you're going to have to try it a little harder than you've had.
Actually, no.
OK, last piece of advice.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
You can't always get what you want.
So what you need to do is you actually
need to start trying to hit dear with their car
and then you'll miss them. It's like gambling.
That's actually.
That's not a bad idea, man.
Like when you're playing bingo, you're like, I don't even want a bingo.
You know, but if you feel like you're trying to get a bingo, you never end up getting it.
That's true. You know what? I agree with that.
We've given you many tactics here
Okay, and you know what you do now is up to you all of them. Yeah, so
Hit it here. Yeah
Like brick a leg
All right, real good now perfect. Well, thank yeah, tell your folks. said hi. I will. I will and you tell yours. We says hi. Okay.
I will. I will. Thank you. Bye bye now.
Charlie, I think we got to get deer bags going. I do. I mean, we could shoot it tomorrow. No, I mean, I think it's a product
I think we can pitch to feed for them. I think they're gonna love it. The deer bag. Yeah. It's just like a little thing that goes across the front.
You know, I, I bet here's what I bet it is. We put a game cam. We strap a game cam
to the front of the grill. Right. The game cam will see a deer and it's the fastest game cam ever.
As soon as it sees that deer, it ignites the deer bag, which will just be a shop vac blowing up a big. Yep.
I think what is that noise? Deer bags are filling up. Yeah. That's great. We'll get it going.
We will. All right, guys, we're recording this this episode in the past. So you're listening
to this episode while I am currently at my bachelor party and I'm probably out somewhere soaking
up the sun, hitting golf balls. And I'm probably sucking down a couple tippy cows. You can tell
you that much. There's nothing better than getting ready to marry the old ball and chain
By sipping on some tippy cow Charlie
You having a good time sipping tippy cow at my bachelor party right now Miles I'm having such a good time sipping this tippy cow at your bachelor party. How did you get this on the plane?
Carry on
Mm-hmm
Yeah, the case that I put on and the whole thing, but I'm so glad
Carry on. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the case that I put on and the whole thing, but I'm so glad
That you were able to make it to my bachelor party because you're such a good friend. You would never miss it for the world We never miss it for the world. You would never miss a chance to drink tippy cow with me at my bachelor party
You would never do that. I canceled my gig just so I could come hang out with you on your bachelor party and get yelled at for
Disrespecting the golf course.
That way to get the invoice in the mail. Address to the amount that that gig cost you. Yeah.
Well, I'll get you a true friend and Charlie Barons. I'll get you a real good wedding present.
And what did true friends do together? They click a clink a glass of tippy cow and tip it on back.
Mm. Don't that tastes so good. Real Wisconsin milk. And folks, are you going to the
fleet farmer now? If the answer's in all, you got to, you know, check your, check your
hat head, you know, it's more than, yeah, no, check your head. Check your head. It's more
than just a hat rack. Okay. my dad always says that to me.
Get over to the fleet farm.
It's got everything you need.
Spring is coming up.
So, you know, you need some bins for organizing.
You need a new broom to do that spring cleaning.
You need some trash bags and whatnot
to take stuff to the goodwill, you know.
Get on over to the fleet farm.
Oh, birds are coming back.
Get your bird seed.
You gotta change out the winter bird seed
with the spring bird seed.
You got new species coming through,
coming from the south, back up north.
So get that spring bird seed.
Get it over there at the fleet farm.
We love it.
And bring your binoculars too,
because they got birds in the store.
How's about it?
Hello, who do we got on the line?
Oh, no shot.
This is Thomas from Woodstock.
Thomas from Woodstock?
Wait.
How are we doing, Thomas?
Oh, you know, I just got in my car on my way to work.
And I figured I'd give it one last ditch after giving you guys a call.
Oh, evening night shift or what's going on?
Yeah, work six to six.
Okay, we're at.
Um, I work security at local free hospitals here.
What's the key to hospital security?
Um, What's the key to hospital security? Not let patients, what they say, you know, get to your head. What do you mean?
Well, you know, usually we get called it.
It's some agitated patient that no longer either wants to be there to ask to stay
and or is starting to fight nurses.
Okay, so I you know, my thought was external threats, but in reality, the real threats inside already.
Yeah, well, so the one of the three hospitals, the one I'm going to tonight's actually a psychiatric hospital.
So we've got to have extra staff on chairs.
That pause there. Set it off.
So you can imagine.
Yeah.
So what's the craziest thing that's happened?
Wrong choice of words.
I would love to share, but I don't think if I can. I'm not sure if I can. I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can.
I'm not sure if I can. I'm not sure if I can. I'm not sure if I can. you pass. Belly on up to the bar with us. So, and tell us what is on your mind.
So, actually, I got a couple things for you, but you guys remember Carter, the bartender, you guys spoke with a couple weeks ago? Sure. Yeah, Carter. Yeah. He's actually my best friend.
And so, I mean, he hasn't officially asked me yet, but he said I'm going to be the best man at his wedding.
Oh, you know, what do you mean he hasn't officially asked you yet?
Well, you know, me and him are best friends and like he's always said it, but you know, it's one of those things where it's like, you know, he's going to he's going to send something to all of his groomsmen. And so I got it yet.
And I'm just kind of waiting on that.
Was this guy that was asking about engagement advice?
No, it was he was a bartender down in Southern Wisconsin.
The one of our other funnies, his his girlfriend got them gifts.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep. And we went through the techniques to the bartender,
how to get their attention.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I mean, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.
So I would be holding your breath until,
I wouldn't be holding your breath.
It sounds like he hasn't sent you anything.
And does Carter have brothers?
Yeah.
Carter does not have brothers.
OK, well, then Carter does not have brothers.
Okay, well then that's not an excuse.
Okay, so it wouldn't be a shame though if he didn't ask you.
If he asked like his new friend.
It's I'm not gonna like, I'm not gonna be an ass and like,
expect it to be me, but you know, after saying it,
you can't expect it.
You can't expect it. Now are you expect it. Now, are you calling us to low
key tell Carter? You feel? Is that what you're doing? Well, I'll tell you, no, I mean, I'm assuming
if I'm speaking with you guys, it's like going there. So he's definitely going to hear this.
But I'm just like, how long does a best man's speech need to be?
Oh, okay.
Great question.
Yep.
Yep.
Perfect.
It needs to be not too long.
Great answer, Miles.
Great, frickin' answer.
That gives them a lot to work with.
But it's like, okay, well, if you are absolutely amazing at giving a speech and everyone's laughing
and the crowd's going wild, like it would be if I had to give one, then it can go on a little
bit longer than if you're like listening to paint dry. Yeah, I think it's less about the time
and more about how funny it is, okay, because nobody wants you to get up there and be emotional and talk about
how much you love this guy. That's assumed. Okay. Also, you don't want to say how much you love
the guy too much because then everyone starts murmuring about you and his relationships.
Right. They're thinking a thruple is going to happen in this marriage. Yeah. So cool it on how much
you love your, your buddy. Yeah. We know you love him. You're his best man. We get it
and we're sure you had a bunch of sentimental things happen in your life. We just want you to talk
about the one time that he went to jail that no one knew about. That's all we want to hear, you know,
the best best man speeches I've ever heard are just roasts of the groom and just roast the room be kind to the the bride, you know, because you want
to have privileges over at the house and if you roast the bride, it's not going to happen.
Yeah, I might lose those. What did you say?
No, if I go after the bride, you know, I might lose those privileges.
Yeah, you might. I would say, I would say 10 minutes is a lot.
I would go seven minutes.
Seven feels okay.
Six to seven minutes.
If you're not very funny, maybe five,
if you're a little funny, you can stretch it to maybe eight, nine.
Yeah, and if you're not funny at all, I mean, get in and get out, you know, absolutely.
Yeah.
Let's just say I said this, I think on our other podcast too, it's like, there's people only
remember people only remember two things about a best man's speech. Was he funny?
And did it go too long? There's only things you gotta be worried about.
Be funny and don't go too long.
Oh man.
Oh, you're not now.
You're stressing, yeah.
Now are you a funny fella?
Do you think you're gonna be able
to write some good punchlines or no?
You know, I would like to think so,
but I guess that's not for me to decide.
All right, here we go.
OK, let's game it out.
Yeah, everything's gone according to plan so far.
You get a nice package in the mail.
You're now the best man.
It's wedding day.
Dinner's wrapping up and it's time for speeches.
What's going to be your opening wine?
Shoot it to us.
Oh, well, well, you know, I don't know if I could do that because you know,
Carter is going to be listening to this.
All right, Carter, Carter, if you're listening to this,
then need you to shut it off. Yeah, your mobs, Carter, Carter,
you're going to skip ahead, right?
All right, what's, I'll go ahead. Do you have an opening line?
That's tough to come up on the spot
Not yet, you know, okay, let's just come up with a funny story about Carter. What's the funny? What give us some facts about Carter?
Oh geez just go to stop facts
He put me on the spot
How tall is he how tall is he?
He put me on the spot. How tall is he?
How tall is he?
Uh, like six, one.
Okay, average, not an angle.
Uh, what size pants does he wear?
I have a vinyl.
I don't know.
Just cast, dude.
36.
Okay, average there too.
Okay.
What else?
He's a bartender.
So you can make some bartender jokes.
Is he a good bartender?
Um, I think so, but you know,
I like my drum drum and he knows how to pour them to me.
So he knows how to pour them.
Okay, there's an angle.
It's, you know,
he always makes sure to get to know the customer
so that he can satisfy the needs of the customer.
And that's also what he's done with his beautiful bride.
He treats her so good.
Yeah.
I mean, that's something that's something where we're moving.
Can you think of some bartending analogies, you know, like, you know, shots, beer, I'm just listening off bartending that we're awful at this, you know, shots, beer, I'm just listening off bartending
that we're awful at this, you know, Jesus.
I love him, I love him talk.
I know, I got to love him talk.
All right, what else about Carter?
Just where'd you guys meet?
I went to school with him back,
like I met him when I was in first grade.
Okay, give us a story about his first girlfriend
in first grade.
Oh, Jesus. Well, you know, there's a
good start, Dition on names, girls name was Eve.
And they, it was just, you know, your average first grade relationship, you know, you're like hiding from each other at recess and all this other crap and then you know, I
I mean as much as I can remember is just the spirit to go young two kids just
who've got the title but have nothing to show for it. Yeah, what's your best memory with that's a good joke. Tell them that not much has changed. You still has nothing to show for it. You know.
What's your best memory with Carter?
Oh man, we've been through life. I don't even... I mean, I say life, I mean we're 21 years old.
Funny joke. And then you're like, wow, you guys move fast.
How long has he been dating his gal?
I want to say just around three years.
Three years.
Maybe over, maybe just under.
I mean, he was in a difficult spot.
You know, they met right before his family left for Africa,
his parents are missionaries.
So like, I don't know if they consider the relationship started then, but I guess it really
went, got together once he came back after like two years.
Did you say that his parents do missionary?
Our missionaries, Miles, cheese, go we.
Is that what he said? Yeah, that would be a great joke.
Missionaries.
That would be a great joke.
Uh, you know,
yeah, you know, it might be,
except they're very religious,
and you know, I don't know how that
quote.
Oh, and uh, Carter's parents are,
you know, they're like parents to me too.
We grow up together, whatever, and,
you know, they, they're to me too. We grow up together, whatever. And, you know, they're missionaries,
but they also conceive Carter in missionary.
It would be a great joke.
I bet everyone would laugh.
I wouldn't do that joke.
You know what, Miles?
It's not gonna be much to go off of Charlie.
I'm trying to make,
trying to make gold out of just something normal.
I know. Well, now he introduced a very troubling concept to this his parent do his parents
If they're super religious sometimes they're not really into the whole joking thing you kind of limit your jokes here
Are they gonna laugh at this they have a good sense of humor as folks?
Um, they generally do okay, and I just don't know where would be crossing the line. You know, it's going to be a lot of
probably like jokes related with those two that everyone will understand, but inside Joe. I don't
know what what yeah, but at what point like the is it crossing the line? Well, you'll find it. And
I don't know. The missionary joke test the waters. Then you'll know.
you'll find it. And to all the missionary joke, test the waters, then you'll know.
If their face is turned bright red, then that's where those feet gen.
Yep. Yeah. I mean, I think your best bet is to write out a bunch of different facts about Carter. See if you can find some punch on it. There's definitely a bartending joke. And
always parents drink though. Not much. Not much. Are they happy with him with his
profession as a bartender? Well, he's just a bartender on the side. He's an EMT. Oh,
yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah. EMT. There's some jokes in there. Yeah, I know that.
The whole time. Yeah. I mean, I keep going. Well, I mean I keep going well, I got you know nine months to prep for this thing
So I'm I'm in no rush and I've got I've had some ideas here and there, but
It's just I don't know what time frame and do I need to memorize this thing? No, all right to have like a piece of paper or something there
Yeah, just write it on your phone and your note section. Just read it right off your phone.
Yeah, no one expects you to memorize it.
Or you can write it on piece of paper
if you want to get fancy about it, you know.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we gave you as best advice as we could going off
of the information that we had.
And yeah, I just
give you much myself there. Yeah, well, that's what you're gonna need to know more about your body
coming here in the next nine months. Oh, I was trying to know plenty, but it's just coming up
up like the better things off the top of the head. Okay. Oh, wait, you're just gonna, oh yeah,
yeah, don't, don't wing it. Whatever you do, right it, right it is.
If you wing it, it's gonna end up like this phone call right now.
We're, look at us, we're all trying to wing it collectively
and we've come up with one half baked missionary joke
which his parents are gonna hate.
What do you mean?
Miles, it was half baked, is that say?
That's a great joke.
Now if you want to do that, say like,
of course Carter's parents are here,
you know, Carter's parents are here. You know, Carter's parents are here.
Or no, Carter of course is here because his parents did missionary.
I mean, our missionaries, you know, you got to like mistake it like that.
Or no, you go like, oh yeah, everyone knows Carter. He's always a man on a mission.
It's fine because his parents are missionaries and they can see them in missionary.
Yeah, that could work.
That's pretty good.
Wow, it's better than the other one.
Yeah, you kind of have to riff it out like that.
But start thinking of some fun stories.
If you have like one story, one fun story with Carter, that kind of symbolize
something else, you know, and make it comedic.
I don't know.
There's a way in there.
Just just figure it out.
You got to be a lot of good jokes and transitions.
Yeah. Yeah. you'll get it.
All right, you got nine months and you know what?
It's a moot point if Carter decides to go with his friend Tim
to be his best man anyway.
And you're off the hook and you can just get his hammered
as you want at the wedding.
You don't got even got to worry about it.
I get that true.
Yeah, you know, it's like jury duty.
You know, you don't really have an option
what the ask you know, you can just say that you got to work, you work out a
talent. So you can't go to jury duty. Tell me, tell me that just to avoid the speech that you just,
hey, I'm not going to make it to the wedding. Hopefully Carter doesn't hear this. Hopefully Carter
doesn't hear this podcast. And then here where you're at with the speech so far and then go with another guy. Carter, if you're listening, right?
What's that?
He knows that I'm not going to be, you know, it's not. I tend to not I'm not going to say my last minute kind of guy, but like, you know, it's going to it's definitely gonna take some planning and I got nine months, so.
Yeah.
And I'm worried about it.
Now, obviously, I got to make this thing good.
Yeah, if he's getting married in October, November,
area, you're probably gonna start it.
It says getting married October 15th.
October 14th sounds like a good time to start a speech.
That sounds about how are my speeches and cool with.
Go. Well, good luck with it. All right, well, thanks for calling in, man, I'm sure you're from I'm sure you're from I'm sure you're from I'm sure you're from I'm sure you're from I'm sure you're from
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Well, Charlie, I think that wraps up another episode of the Belly
and up podcast. Wouldn't you say I'm still trying to think of bartender jokes.
There's something in there. You know, there's something in there.
I'm going to think of it as soon as this is done.
I just can't my brain can't think past the missionary joke. I'm sorry.
I'm no help here. Yeah. I know. Um, tip, you know, there's something in here.
Just the tip, speaking of which, tip your bartenders.
Yes. Okay. Guys, thanks for tuning in. We'll see you in the next one.
We love you. And don't forget to tip your bar tender.
We are. He said, Oh, don't forget to tip your bart tender. We are he said oh don't forget to tip your bartender
And we said that already all right, okay, so you guys that was it that we really crash out landing
That's a good one get some sleep. Yeah, yeah, I know see you guys