Bellied Up - Lost in Midwest Translation #134

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

The first caller is a therapist trying to get her husband excited about birthdays. She also gives Myles and Charlie a mini therapy session. The last caller is an ethanol trucker from Iowa, struggling to communicate with his Minnesota wife. Myles and Charlie step in to help with the language barrier. Don't have time to call in? Call our Voicemail line and tell us what's on your mind 👇 218-303-5095 Get Yourself a "Road Hunting for Ditch Chickens" hat 👇 https://ohhyoubetcha.com/products/ditch-chickens-hat Check out Charlie Berens Special "Midwest Goodbye" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wEzagimGjc Check out Myles' Podcast "You Betcha Radio" 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQK1ATqc6L9wz4FAiun8kKw

Guys we got big news in the bellied up world. We now have a voicemail line. We know that it can be frustrating to call in and wait for a long time. We hear you that stinks. So by including the voicemail line, it will allow everyone to get a chance to have their topic heard. We'll listen to the voicemails then line up calls with the ones that we love. This means the more interesting your topic and the more energy that you bring increases your chances of being featured on the show. So if you want to be on the show, call 218-303-5095. You can call in 24-7 and again, the number is 218-303-5095. And if you forget the number, it's in the description of the podcast. So don't worry.

Also guys, we are accepting video messages for Bellied Up. So if you want to show us something or just want to ask a simple question, DM your video to the Bellied Up Instagram. That's at Bellied Up Pod on Instagram or tag us on Twitter slash X. Not only do we wanna hear your voice, we also wanna see your face. Could be a fun thing to do, so send your videos on in, ask a question, show us something cool.

We'll maybe have you on the podcast. Cheers, enjoy the episode. Is that Baron's frozen custard? What is that? Yeah, dude. First of all, look at that. I can move my boobs. Are you starting a frozen custard store? See that, I can move my boobs. I see that. Um, it didn't help you in that arm wrestling. Dude, dude, do another, do a rematch. I wasn't even using my dominant hand. Shut up.

Well, yeah, you were. Cause you have right hand left handed. Do it again. No, do left hand. Let's go. We gotta do it again. I have a rule. You jumped the gun.

I only do arm wrestling like once a decade. So I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again.

I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to do it again. No, do left hand. Let's go. We got to do it again. I don't. I have a real jump. The only do arm wrestling like once a decade. So I used it up. That's bullshit. This shirt is Barron's frozen custard. I actually I did a show in Atlanta, Georgia. If you didn't know where that Atlanta was, you were looking confused. And there's actually a baron there that they own their frozen custard. I mean, frozen custard is not something

you really find much out of Wisconsin. You send them a cease and desist or? No, I invite them to the show. I gave them some Barron's old fashioned brandy and they put it in some of their custard. I like that. So they gave me this shirt with my name on it. It's cool.

Very similar logo though. It is very, dude. Damn. It's really close. Yeah, it is. Shoot. That might be the font. No, it's got two curly. They were established since 1976 and you weren't even born yet. Maybe I stole. Yeah. Wow. That anyways, Charlie. Yeah. Um, we were having a discussion on the way to Milwaukee about whether or not skiing is an extreme sport. No, I think that it is an extreme sport. No. People die all the time skiing. You can ski extremely. You're on a slick surface going downhill.

Sometimes the grade's pretty steep. Yeah. There's people flying by you left and right. No, you can ski extremely, but skiing inherently is in extreme sport, okay? You just said it. It depends on the grade of the deal. I mean, look, I can ski, and I'm not an extreme sports guy, okay?

I just, I don't do it. All right. Well, maybe you are, because you're a skier. Four-year-olds can ski. I've seen four-year-olds ski better than me. I mean, four-year-olds can fly a dirt bike off a jump, too. It doesn't mean that that's not extreme. I think you can ski extreme.

I think football is more of an extreme sport than than that we go again. What do you mean, here we go again? Did someone else bring that up flat ground? There's no trees on a football field. You're in total control. It's way more dangerous. There's nothing else attached. There's no you're not on something.

I think as soon as you are on something, it becomes extreme. Is rollerblading an extreme sport? If you're going downhill and there's trees. Yeah. We ever have you ever rode there's not always board or a roller roller blade or scooter. You're bombed a hill before you start getting the, the, the little wiggles you're putting. It's dangerous. It's extreme. You're putting qualifiers on it. You said if there's trees, you only skiing scopes like the trees are so far away and it's just you

on this a green circle field. Now look, I didn't grow up skiing. All right. So I started off and mostly ski the blues and the greens You don't have to justify me your level of skill. I Think skiing is crazy. Well, you think I'm an extreme sportist. Yeah, frickin a then. Yeah, what extreme sportist? Hey skiing is extreme If you had to pick an extreme sport Charlie, which one would you pick not skiing not skiing? Skating What kind of skating ice skating that's not extreme. Yes it is

It's flat you are you are zipping around on a surface with knives on your feet What's more extreme? You know, and then the people picking them up and scooting them around, they're just, they got knives. Okay, well then you're saying that figure skating and skating is extreme, then skiing has to be extreme. No. You kind of got yourself there.

No, no, I'm sorry. You got butter knives on your feet when you're snow skiing. You got actual butcher's knives on your feet when you're skating. You have trees that can decapitate you when you're snow skiing. You got actual butcher's knives on your feet. We have trees that can decapitate when you're skiing. No, trees aren't sharp. Find me one person that's ever been decapitated. Skiing. Go ahead. I don't think I want to Google that.

I think I'll end up on a list. No, it's never happened. The only people who die skiing are the people who do it extremely. And you can do extreme skiing, but skiing inherently is not extreme, but figure skating is. Oh yeah, I do. Yeah. How many people die a year figure skating? Probably like, I mean, have you seen Tanya Harding, which happened not on the ice. She had skates on. She had knives on her feet, dude, and she got hacked away by some like piece of tire iron or something. It was tragic.

I don't think Tonya Harding was the one that got hacked at. Right. Who knows? You know what I'm talking about? She did the hacking. No, she hired somebody. Yeah. She hired gun kind of bad ass.

That's an extreme sport, dude. You got hit men after you just because you have extreme people in a sport doesn't make it extreme I who are you to define what an extreme sport is miles who are you I ask you know what I think is really extreme road hunting for ditch chickens yeah especially if you're hunting by someone's private land and they come storming up to you in a pickup with a gun out the window. That's pretty extreme.

Yeah, you can be like, legally I can do this. They'll be like, legally, I dare you. Legally, shh, shh. Nancy Kerrigan. Nancy Kerrigan, yeah, she got hacked. She got attacked. Yeah, see? Is she OK now, by the way? She recovered. I have no update on that. Yeah.

I skydived once that that's extreme. No, I was strapped to someone else. It's still extreme. I didn't do anything. I got nauseous. Did you? I'm not a fan of that. I think that's kind of a waste of gas. You know, like we got so many frigging uses for gas jumping out of a plane. Yeah. Really? Don't get me.

I feel like most people who actually do it are like, that was awesome. Well, yeah, I didn't get the, I mean, it was cool when I did it. I was like, Oh, I'm going to die. Exactly. And that's why it's extreme. Yeah, there's a fear of dying. I actually when I dropped I didn't have a fear of death anymore I figure I'm in God's hands now. Yeah, and also the guy who is on my back just It's a great life lesson Charlie. Just jump and build your wings on the way down. That's true That's true, but you should have a parachute just in case you don't form. Yeah. I don't know.

What is that? I was trying to do a duck call, but it didn't come out right. That's a duck who just died skydiving. I'll be honest, you sounded like my dad snoring when he, when he doesn't wear a CPAP machine. That's what I thought you were doing. Are you on the CPAP? No, dude. Lost weight. Don't snore anymore. You know what?

I got, I got one of those things that stretches your nose out. A breathe right strip. Yeah. I got a deviated septum cause I got punched once. What'd you do? I don't want to talk about it. You should have seen the other guy though. He walked away pretty good Like a baby every night You've been any fight smiles no as a kid I'm a Frenchman I don't fight now we we you just

I don't fight. Oh, we, we, you just on Shantae on Sean. Are you a Frenchie now? You know how French I'm French. Maybe you know that my mom said she wants to learn French. Why doesn't she? I don't know. It's never been easier listening. It's never been easier to learn French.

Take a class around your phone. Better learn it now before a bunch of people are walking around with those little brain things in their noggin, the neural link, you know, and they're are walking around with those little brain things in their noggin, the Neuralink, you know, and they're all walking around speaking in tongues and stuff and steal money out of your account in the stock market because they're smarter than you. I had to get one in, Miles. I had to get one little squeaker in, one little squeaker caution. Get it out now, let's just get it over with. You're not a big fan of neural link then no I mean, you know, I think I look I just think you know We're creating a new species and we got to look at what the more look at the humans with better technology

Look at what we do to other humans. That's what's gonna have a question Do you think we did all right with this species or you think we should try again with a different one? Well, I don't know, Miles. I think we can get better. I think there's a lot of room for improvement. I know. Maybe we should focus on improving our species before we make another one that says, yeah.

A great life lesson, just like when you get on the airplane. Secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Exactly, wow, what an analogy, Miles, I like that. Next time you're on an airplane. Remember that. It's a great life lesson. Okay. You and I are flying on an airplane. Oxygen mask drop down.

I'm asleep. What do you do? I put my oxygen mask on first, and then I wake you up. Do you put my oxygen mask on if I'm not? I assist you. You will assist me. Yeah. Or will you say?

But if you're not waking up, you're seem like a lost cause. And I got to help other people that are alive. Really? You know, like if you hit, if that's when you had gone, like, can you imagine that timing, what timing, like you die right before a plane goes down, you know, like that would be awesome. You'd have any of the fuse die in your sleep. And then the plane crashes. I've, I've been on an airplane where the turbulence has

gotten bad that I thought it might crash. No fear, zero fear. I was like, okay, it's happening. Yeah. It's like is weird. He kind of like stood up and said, come on, this is all you got. This is all you got. I'm ready! It's crazy in near death situations, you're just on and you're in the moment and you're not thinking about fear. So that's why we shouldn't worry as people, cause in those moments there's gonna be no worries. Yeah, that's why every situation I'm in,

I act like it's life or death so I can just be on at all times. I can tell. Yeah. I can tell. Like right now I'm thinking about how you can murder me and I am dialed in. See that? I knew that I'm thinking about how you could murder me and I am dialed in. See that? I knew that that wasn't the way you'd murder me.

You're just we arm wrestled and you clearly don't have enough strength to kill me with one punch. You did. You jumped the gun on the arm. Let's do it again. You counted it. Let's do it again. Oh, we have calls to get to, Charlie. We got calls. I'll never live it down. I'll never live it down. You cheated.

Yeah, you did. Roll the tape back. See, he cheated. Should we take some callers? Let's do it. This is page. Hi, page. This is miles. And Charlie from the bellied up podcast. How's it going? How are you guys? We are doing so good page? We are doing so good, Paige. We are doing real good. Oh my gosh.

Thanks for calling in. We appreciate you. Of course. And so word on the street is, in the voicemail you left, you said that you love celebrating your birthday, but your husband isn't really a birthday guy. No, he's not. He likes his birthday, but he likes to be alone on his birthday. He's his own thing. I like to be celebrated.

Yeah. See you, you like when your birthday is a big deal. Yeah. Are you an only, are you, are you an only child? No, this is the thing. I grew up in a family of five kids. So I had to make my own birthday cake most years. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, you're getting to all the questions that I already had, you know, what was the cause of this? All that stuff. She's a middle, are you middle child? Yes. Well, that makes sense. We're getting somewhere, Paige. Look, I got to tell you, I'm one of twelve.

I have two sisters that share the exact same birthday, and they're both named Mary. OK, so if you think you got issues, there's no way that's real. Mary Kate and Mary Ellen, both born February 23rd. What? Yeah. Now. Yeah. Would your parents name your kids the same name? I'm one of 12 kids. They ran on names. Is your dad George Foreman? No, that's just how it goes. So page, uh, so page knows what they're, what they're going through.

They know not only do they not have their own birthday, not only does it get overlooked cause there's 12 kids in the family, they also don't have their own name. Yeah, they got nothing. Oh, they got nothing. That's their own. So, and page, it sounds like you were raised similarly, you know, halfway there. Um, and, uh, so And so what like, growing up,

you had to make your own birthday and then you married a guy, you kind of marry your dad, you know? He's doing the same thing here where you have to plan your own birthday still? Yeah, my dad probably doesn't even know what my birthday is. He's a great father, I should say.

I see a trend here. Start is. He's a great father. I should've pressed it. I see a trend here. Start off, he's a great husband. He's a great father, but. Yes, and my husband is amazing. He's just blue collar, you know? He goes to work, he comes home, he has a beer and he goes to bed. Like that's just his life every day.

I mean, that sounds amazing. Yeah, he's living the dream. He's just his life every day. Amazing. Yeah. He's living the dream. He's living the dream. But you want. So why do you want to disturb his peace? Well, because I'm a good wife. Okay.

I deserve that's true. You know what? I made him a kid this year. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. How can I just as just when you make it, you know, I'm like, Oh kid this year. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. How can I just as when you made him the kid, how much work did you go through to bring that kid into this world?

I went through. I mean, what was it? Seventy six hours of labor, what? Seventy six hours of labor. Well, there you go. I was in early labor for two full days. Oh my. And I was in the hospital and labor all day.

And how much work would you say, did you have a son, did you have a daughter? Daughter, her name's Josie. Josie, Josie, beautiful name. How much work do you think Josie did during those 72, 76 hours? I mean, hopefully a lot. I mean, she had to get turned manually,

so maybe not much. She didn't do a damn thing, right? On the day of her birth. I think you did all the work on the day of her birth. So we should celebrate you on your daughter's birthday. And on your birthday, I think you should turn the tension from you to your mom. Yeah, Charlie. All right.

Your mom's the one that really should be celebrated. Because what did you do on your birthday except get pushed? Do you celebrate the first day you got pushed on a swing? No. It's the same damn thing. Oh my goodness. I feel like I'm getting gas lit here out of my own birthday. No, it's the same damn thing. Oh my goodness. I feel like I'm getting gas lit here out of my own birthday.

You're not being gassed. It's just, you did nothing of substance on your birthday. It deserves celebration. If you're being honest. So don't just be throwing the G word around here, okay? What's a G word again? Gaslight. Yeah, we don't even know what that means, okay?

Yes, I do. I'm a therapist, Charlie. Oh even know what that means. Okay. I do. I'm a therapist, Charlie. Oh, you're a therapist. Well, here, let me be your therapist. How come you picked a husband that you knew was not going to celebrate your birthday to be your husband? I didn't know it.

You didn't know? Did he celebrate your birthday while you were dating? I married him too fast. You married him too, how long were you dating before he popped the question? Two weeks. No. Oh. Is he in the military?

We've been married for four years. No, he's not. Don't you dare even. Wait, you got married, don't you dare even. You got married after two weeks? Well, no, we knew we wanted to get married after two weeks. He probably got me a ring. I don't know. Two months later. So that's so much better. That's so much better. So that's four years, dating for five. Great. Well, here's the question. You

were saying, I didn't know he was like that. Would you still have married them? If you had known that he doesn't like birthdays that much, it's like his only flaw. I know. So you can't be mad at him. You still would have married them. Well, I guess that's it. No, that's not it. That was a therapist trick right there. It's silence. We had to fill the silence. We fell for it. Alright, let's dive into this. I think, I think,

Paige, I'm going to take a Paige out of your own book here. You guys like, did I? I think that there's a big difference, and I don't mean to get all sexist here, but I think there's a big difference in the way men celebrate their birthdays

and women celebrate their birthdays. Correct. You know? Charlie, yeah, gals. That's what I'm calling for. I need the male perspective. Yeah, gals on their birthday, they want it to be a big deal.

They wanna go out with their friends. They wanna put a sash on. They wanna woo! It's my birthday! They want all their friends wearing T-shirts with pictures of them on it. Correct, 100%. And Charlie, what do guys want on their birthday?

We want to not be texted at all. Because we spend all day replying to texts on our birthday. You know, we just want to be left alone at a bar by ourselves. And we want if someone shows up, we want to be like, hey, just so you guys know. So it's not awkward. It is my birthday. I don't want to talk about it. Just give me a beer. Well, there we go. I guess I just need to get a bunch of girls around me then. Yeah. Well, let's talk. What is you talk? We've been talking over you because you know,

we're men and that's what we do. Yeah. You may explain it. Yeah. Sorry. We were gaslighting you. We apologize. Good Lord. So the thing is for me is I want a good present. Okay. I don't even get a present on my birthday. Hardly ever. Well, does he do what I do? Does he do what I do with my wife when she asks if I'm getting her a present for her birthday? I say, well, I got you a wedding ring. So that should cover me for at least 10 years. Cause I picked out my own wedding ring. Oh my gosh.

He paid for it. Well there you go. He's footing the bill. But you want to be special. All right. What pre- he's never gotten you a present? He has, but I have to take it out. And that's not much of a present.

That is true. Well, would you, would you rather he gets you something you don't want, then you get something you want, but you had to pick out? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. the present, just spending time with you. His present would be amazing. That's what he does. If he would put down the video games for one evening, he's a video. Now this is

interesting. You're calling into this podcast. I don't think this is about birthdays at all. I think, I think we're covering a few more issues you might have in this relationship, but that's going to be in our next session. This would, our time is up. Yeah. Our time is up. Our time. Well, our time is up. So I'm going to have to dive into that next time. So you can, I can bill you again. Yeah. Tick, tick, tock. Hey, those sessions are 53 minutes. Okay. 53 minutes down to the second. So does he listen to this podcast? Yes. He's the one that got me on it. And you're thinking that this is the only way you're going to get through to him. You thought this was a good idea. I guess so. All right. Well, here's the thing. Let's see. All right. So what is your husband's

name? And remember if we talked about the drill. Okay, Drew, hey, let's meet in the middle. You put down the video games a little bit more, spend some quality time with the wife and daughter and just go get her present It sounds like she doesn't even care what it is You know do what my mom used to do when she bought my dad Tevo for her his birthday one year Knowing full well my dad doesn't watch TV So go get her some new ice fishing gear. I mean, I'd like to try it.

It's fine. Yeah. And then when, when you don't want to do it anymore, he's got a new, he's got another rod. Yeah, that's smart. Drew, we're, we're dropping advice here, Drew. Um, what, uh, subtly, well, what would you want true to get you? What would be your most magical birthday? Describe it. I would love a necklace with our daughter's first of it. See, okay. But now, but now he

can't get it. No, he, cause she just said that she doesn't want to tell them what to get. She didn't tell him, but there's, there's many necklaces in the world. Okay. Okay. Yeah. There's a pick right one. Let me know what he looks like. Page, let me ask you this. Were your daughters born in April? No. Oh, thank God. What is that birthstone? It's paradox. What the hell is that? Oh, it's green? It's like a really pretty green color. Paradoct. I didn't know what it was either. Or Parado.

Parado? I think P-R-I-O-D-T or something. Per dot. I believe it is. Per dot, that's right. Yeah, that's exactly right. All right, so a double Per Dot necklace. Boy, both in August.

Let's see here. August is the eighth month, which would mean that eight, so December. Oh, it's a good month for Drew and you. Christmas babies, huh? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This summer was a hot one.

It was right before he got the new video game for Christmas. It was actually December 23rd. And then since then, it's like, I guess they're having one kid. That was his Christmas present. Oh my gosh. To any wives out there whose husbands play Tarkov. I'm with you. Okay. Don't know what that is. Yeah. It's called Tarkov and it's a game you play with your friends and it's so addicting that he just is busy all the time. It's awesome.

Wow. So is there, it sounds like there's more than one issue with this situation. Have you ever played Tarkov? No, it's very violent. I think I don't know. It seems like a foraging game, but there's a lot of violence, but just whatever. Well, okay. So you want a necklace with the deal on it. Okay. I think Drew might be listening to this.

If you're listening, you now know the game plan and that's some that the reason why he doesn't, men are really good at getting directions and then doing a task. You know, if you're leaving too much interpretation for him, you know, he's gonna get distracted by something else. So this is good. Right, I figured if they heard it from y'all, it might happen. Right, Drew, you need to get her a necklace

with your daughter's name on it and the birthstone, right? That's what we're going with. She didn't even say the name. She want them engraved? Perfect. Whatever. Whatever he wants to do.

That's just general, general what I want. Okay. Simple. He can shake it up. Simple. Now, if you were the therapist and you were giving yourself therapy, what would your recommendation be in this situation? I would say to tell him what you want.

Yeah. But you know what? Sometimes you get tired of doing that, and I understand that too. Well, you've told him what you want, right? Right, I have. So can you think of other creative ways to tell him? told him what you want, right? Right. So can you think of other creative ways to tell him, perhaps call up a podcast that he listens to? Yeah, Charlie and Miles, that's the first thing

that came to my mind. No. I said that will work 100%. If none of this works, just take all the HDMI cords in the whole house and hide them. Then he'll pay attention to you. I could tell you that. And you can take the power cord. There's PC. You could say once you have a wrapped present for my birthday on the

counter, then you can get the HDMI cords back. Boom. Done. Sounds like a hostage. That is what marriage is all about. Keeping score, having leverage over the other person. And what's better leverage than all the HDMI cords for a guy who loves video games. I can't think of anything. It's true. I have to do pass the Gretchen. Yeah. Well, since we got you on the line, do you mind giving Charlie and I a little therapy? Sure. What do you need? Go miles. Well, that's the, I mean,

you're supposed to pry it out of me, I think. Yeah. You've listened to this podcast enough. What do you think our issues are? Well, Charlie's definitely got a dating aversion here. A dating aversion? I'm not sure you and the ladies, it seems like you got some high standards or high standards for yourself. You need to love yourself more buddy. Oh, it's not about the people you're dating. It's about you, Charlie. It's about me. Gotta love myself. Well, I am dating. Yeah, I am I got a girlfriend I knew that It's going well, it's going

Chip will be better if you love yourself more. Oh my god I can't get everything you need from the other person. It's gotta come from within Wow. That's amazing. Can I send you a hundred dollars? Absolutely. Yeah. My going rate's 225. Well, you all you've only been working for four minutes. So what do you mean? Yeah, let's divide that. My quick end the quick end the session, Charlie.

Oh, no, it's your time. We're splitting this. What's Miles's advice? Oh, God. Miles. I feel like you're a pretty roundabout guy. You're getting into fitness. You're taking care of yourself. Was that a day? You know, pretty roundabout guy. I used to be roundabout.

No, I'm at roundabout as in, you know what? The self care has gone up. He's probably a good dad It doesn't sound like his wife very pissed very often. Yeah that we know of yeah, we don't talk about that enough No, you are a good. I don't piss my wife off that much Yeah, I just feel like you you're doing well. That would be my critique for miles That's not a critique. You can't come up here and tell me that I need to love myself more and say miles is freaking perfect. That's bullshit. But we all know that comedians don't

love themselves. That's why they're funny. Oh, so she calling you not funny. I'm not a comedian. I'm a podcaster. Wow. Influencer. I'm an influencer. No, you're an under the influence. Wow. I can't believe this. I mean the professional said it, Charlie. I guess, I guess she hasn't listened to enough episodes. That's all I got to say. That's all I got. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm going to go love myself more. Okay. I think. Yeah, I don't know. His girlfriend doesn't live around here, so I think he does enough loving himself at home. You guys shut up. You don't need to laugh. You bring your own half track with you. My house. This is bullshit. Well, also, thank you for doing this for free because I would have been like a bozo hired a therapist to tell you just to tell me that I'm perfect.

She didn't say that. Like that would have that would have been a waste of money. So I always advocate for therapy. You guys. Okay. You're a therapist. You're yeah. They're always advocate for therapy. You guys, okay. You're local therapists. You're always there. Yeah. Well, that's good.

Good thing. Unless you don't need it. Like me. $225 miles in your perfect. Stop calling him perfect. This dude's got a massive ego already. I know that's the problem. He already agreed he was perfect. So quickly. That's why you say that. You guys said it and I just repeated

what you said. Well, page, this has been a pleasure. When is your birthday by the way? January 2nd. We don't got much time. Well, actually when this came out, when this comes out, it will be past your birthday. So hopefully you're sitting there with a beautiful necklace and you two are listening to it in the car. How awkward that's going to be if he doesn't get her anything. Oh my God. He's just going to be sitting there. He's like, let's listen to be if he doesn't get her anything. Oh, my God. He's just going to sit there. He's like, let's listen to bellyed up this week. And then this whole call is on here and he's just sitting there wide eyed.

What? Just hey, honey. You mind if we stop at the jewelry store on the way to dinner? I see a Jared. Cripes cast. What did you say? Let's let's listen to Cripes Cuts. What'd you say? Perfection. Let's listen to Kripes Cuts. If you were to give your husband therapy, what would you say?

I would tell him he needs to go back to therapy so he can actually travel with me every once in a while. He doesn't travel with you? He doesn't like to leave in the house too much. He's a bit of an anxious guy, but he's a good guy. in a while. He doesn't travel with you? He doesn't like to leave in the house too much. Oh wow. He's a bit of an anxious guy, but he's a good guy. Yeah, he's a good guy. So scotch anxious.

Well, he also sounds like he's using that a little bit of a crutch. You've heard of therapy dogs. It sounds like he's got therapy video games and he's using that to his advantage. Tell him he's gotta start living in the real world, not the virtual world. And Drew.

Amen, you guys tell him. Well. Oh yeah, I forgot we were talking to him. Yeah, Drew. Drew. Listen, guy. Have a seat, man. You know, if the video games bring you happiness,

that do what you gotta do. Yeah, honestly, you're doing great great drill. Yeah. So I wouldn't change a thing. You're perfect. Maybe get her the necklace though. But get the necklace. Yes. Okay. We leave it there. Yeah. We'll leave it at that. I mean, honestly, it just sounds like you're going to buy more hours on the X-Box if you just get her the necklace. It's an investment in your future, man. Amen. Yeah. There we go. Well, buy in time.

That's why they call it that. Well, thank you, Paige, for calling in. All right. Of course. And yeah, tell Drew he says hi. Okay. Will do. All right.

Thanks, guys. Yeah. Have a good one. We'll see you. Send an invoice. Take care. All right. Bye-bye Yeah, have a good one. We'll see us in boys All right. Bye. Bye now that calls bullshit. I Love that caller. What you have to John Moore. What are you doing? Nothing? I'm just putting out the vibe You know, I honestly did not see that coming. No, saying you're perfect? Good God.

She clearly listened to one episode where I may have said- I was on my best behavior. Yeah, yeah. Once in a while, you behave real good. You feel like your mom's gonna listen to that episode or something. All right, well, I resent that. I think I love myself plenty.

Okay, how many times a week you think? Miles, you know, the other day I was on a toboggan. Yeah, we were on a toboggan together. Together. Yeah. And we were nuts to butts, as they would say. Nuts to butts. And we were ripping down that big old hill and gravity took its force and that tree popped and if it weren't for my quick fast acting stuff,

we would have smashed right into that tree. If we did, well I think we could have been saved, medically speaking on the bills, because we could have called our buddy Russell over at Nikolay. Correct, yeah, that's, you know, in that situation, most people have their life flash before their eyes. I had a phone number flash before my eyes. What was that phone number? Right before right as I thought I was going to hit that tree.

I just flashed one eight five five Nicolet. Really? Yeah. Wow. Just right across. Boom. That's amazing. And thank God it did, because if we would have hit that tree, I would have been calling him up right away after I had came to. Yeah.

Yeah, then I would have called Nicolay. And so if you guys end up in a toboggan accident. Hey, you know who to call. Or go to nicolaylaw.com. Yep, fear the beard. So you're saying that we almost hit a tree tobogganing. Would you say it's an extreme sport? Yeah, fear the beard. So you're saying that we almost hit a tree. Yeah tobogganing. Would you say it's an extreme sport? Yeah, absolutely tobogganing is yeah They're tobogganing this winter you end up getting hurt. Just give Nikolai law a call and they'll help you out

Yeah, give my shout Charlie the winter gets long does it's dark at 5 p.m And you just you feel like you just can't get enough sunlight. You know what I like to do at a moment like that? What's that? I like to get sunlight in a glass. Ooh. You know what I call that? Tippy cow.

Tippy cow, baby. Yeah. Sun, sunshine in a glass with some rocks. Yep. And the best part is, Charlie? What's the best part, Miles? You can not only enjoy a nice glass of tippy cow You can also be wearing a shirt that says tip a glass not a cow. I

Get it exclusive bellied up tippy cow collab merchandise You can get them at oh you betcha calm that is slicker than snot on northern pike Charlie we actually are also going to be giving away some shirts to a few lucky callers. No kidding. Yeah. So if people call in, they get a shirt. Um, a couple, a couple, two tree. Unclear on that.

Well, we'll figure it out. Yeah. We got people for that. Yeah. I'll just know that we're going to be giving away some of these shirts so you can tip a glass and not a cow this winter season. Charlie. Miles. Cheers, my man. Cheers. Tipping on back to a tippy cow.

Well, I'm currently stuck in line at the ethanol plant, so I could be better, I suppose. Oh, no. Stuck in line at the ethanol plant. Sounds like when that happens. Sounds like you're in Iowa. How is Iowa? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So what are you doing at the ethanol plant? What are you in line for? Just getting your daily ethanol, uh, intake. I'm just trucking the corn with what magic happens inside the plant is beyond me. Oh yeah? I've got my pay grade. Where you at? What you hauling? Sounds like he's hauling corn in Iowa, Miles.

Yeah. I know, I just wanted to say the line. No, I know. I just, I like to- So much more fun that way. I like to rib you back. Should we start over? Yeah, yeah. Grant, how in the heck are you? Where you at? What you hauling?

Yeah. I'm doing fantastic, guys. Good. I'm hauling corn here in Northern Iowa. Good for you. Where are you? Where are you at? What's your ho and fantastic guys. I'm hauling corn here in Northern Iowa. Good for you. You sound like you're stuck at the ethanol plant. Yeah. He's got that tone in his voice. Doesn't he miles?

Yeah. Just that defeated. I've been here for two hours and I want to go home. Yeah. What's taking so long. All the other guys are here. Stacked up like cordwood. Yeah, that's exactly what it sounds like.

Well, what's on your mind, Grant? I hear that you and your wife, you got a wife from Minnesota and you guys say some things differently. There's a bit of a language barrier between the Minnesota Iowa love connection. I'll start off by saying, I mean, I love my wife. She is, I love everything about her. However,

there's this one thing that just drives me up the wall. So yeah, like I said, she's from Minnesota and I'm from down here in Iowa. And she doesn't have that like classic Minnesota accent. She did say a boot one time I still give her a degree for that. That's Canadian Yeah, she said about right? And it's southern Minnesota too. So some would say that she's saying a boot but really what she was saying was about yeah

And she there you go or a boat. I don't't know. Yeah. It could be any of those. Well, what was she talking about? I don't even remember, but I just kind of stopped where I was doing. I looked at her and I said, what, what, what did you say? And she, she denies it to this day, but it was very clearly something she was talking about. Just, I don't know, just let that one in there.

Oh man. I think your wife was dating a Canadian before you is what I think. Oh boy. I don't know about that. I hope not. Nice guys and all that. Well, what the heck? Why is she so ashamed of her Minnesota roots? Why didn't, why is she denying that? She should be wearing that with a badge of honor. I don't think she denies it because she's got a couple of phrases that she repeatedly throws in my face, you know, that make no sense down in Iowa. So, so if you guys were going to go to like a gas station and you wanted to get something relatively quick, you know, at this chain gas station, what would you call that place?

Quick trip. Like what would be the, yeah. All right, fine. I might be the minority on that one because down here we call them quick stars. Well, they're the same company. Same church, different P.U. Yeah, they actually call them quick stars in Iowa and then you cross the border. It's a quick trip.

So that one's a quick trip. So that one's not so bad like we'll go visit her folks and there's a quick trip right up the road and I'll mess up and call a quick star and she gives me grief for it but the other one that drives me nuts is so if you were going to like you know your buddy just had a baby or something and you're going to take them a meal that's in like a dish you know and it may or may not be warm but but what would you call it what what's the name for that type of food? Casserole. Casserole, my oh my god. Hot dish.

Yeah so. Tater tot hot dish. What do you call it? I call it a casserole like a normal person. Like it's its own word designed for its own type of food. Is a pizza a hot dish? What's soup? I had some hot coffee this morning. Thank you. Thank you, Grant. If you call it a casserole, then you are an asserall. Yeah, Miles, that's a cute play on words. I will grant you that. But Grant, I got to tell you, man, I'm with you.

There's a lot of weird words that people say all across the Midwest that are a little goofy, like for starters, you know, we're here in Milwaukee. OK, if you're looking to hydrate, you go to a bubbler. OK, but you go anywhere outside. Yes, for a bubbler, they? But you go anywhere outside, you ask for a bubbler, they're gonna hand you a little glass piece and they're gonna say, took away my guy. Or you find yourself in Cincinnati,

you get invited to a three-way. Well, you're showing up in your silk undies to a chili cook-off, all right? And before you know it, you know, you got some problems and that's a new one. Oh, you've never heard of the Cincinnati three way. No, I have not. I'm a little scared to hear finally hear about it. No, well, there's I'm okay. Having gone this long, there's noodles involved, but it's not the frisky kind. They're cooked. They are.

Them noodles are cooked. I'm just worried that that all these Midwest language barrier. So we got two daughters and I don't want them to be, you know, sitting on the playground someday in a circle with all their friends and they're capping them on the head like going duck, duck, duck. And then they pick somebody somebody. They want to chase them and they say gray. No, I, what they're going to say is gray duck. That's what he's worried about. I know gray duck. I think is almost an exclusively Minnesota thing. Do you guys say gray duck in Wisconsin? No, no, no. I grew up right on the border

of Minnesota and we said goose. Yeah. I mean that is definitely a Minnesota thing. And you're right. They will get made fun of for that. But I mean, it'd be the biggest concern would be, are they, are they Vikings fans? Are you raising, are you raising these kids to be Vikings fan? Oh yeah. We're, we're teaching them early. Just how it, you know, it don't get too excited and don't put a lot of faith in your kickers. Yeah. Well, how can you be talking crap about gray duck and a boat and hot dish and be raising your kids as Vikings fans?

That is a good question. You are in Iowa. You don't have to choose a life of problems, but you are. That's just the way I was raised. We're kind of in that goofy, you know, we're closest to Chicago, closest to Kansas City, but you know, just went with the Vikings one day, I guess. What do you mean closest to, where in Iowa are you? What city? Kind of in the corner is called Charles city? God kind of in the corners called

Charles city. We call Chuck town. I thought he was maybe talking about Davenport. Oh, speed of Davenport. No, no, no. Do you call couch at Davenport? My grandma did.

Otherwise I would have never heard anybody else. I'd you say that. Yeah, it's a beautiful one. Another language barrier. Charlie. Well, it's a beautiful one. Another language barrier Charlie. Well, I'm not perfect either. I'm lazy with my language. I use a lot of contractions and I call it like a, a pumpkin and a crayon and a crick. So she, she gives me a hard time for that too. How else would you say though? Yeah, that, that all sounds pretty good to

me. Yeah. Um, all right. Well, good. That's not just me. What do you call the device that you use to change the channel on the TV? I would call it a remote, but a clicker does sound more fun. Yeah, it's a clicker. Definitely a clicker. What do you call your shoes that you play when you're doing something athletic? Like cleats? No, something athletic on a court like basketball shoes, tennis, tennis court, tennis shoes. Yeah. You ever say tennis shoes? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I've never played tennis day in my life. No, no one has. Yeah. It's just, they're called and it's not called tennis shoes. It's called tennis. They're

tennis. Yeah. I call them. I call them 10 runners, 10 runners. Yeah. It's called tenis. They're tenis. Yeah, I call I call them teni runners teni runners Yeah, that's just weird. You really call that you call a water phone to bubbler, but that's cool. That's cool But buddy, it's cool bubbly Teni runners, yeah, we can't even be friends anymore See don't let don't let your kids all over the dumb shit that I said, that's the last that we can Only your kids have all of the dumb shit that I said, that's the last that we can Yeah, cuz you do an arm wrestle. We'll see if you can say it. Come on. No, I got loppers elbow No, these are the beautiful truthfully we need to celebrate our differences. Okay, we do as a society

Whatever our differences we must embrace them But if your kids grow up saying duck, duck, gray duck, I hate to say it. They're not getting into college. All right. So you're going to have to, you're going to have to wrestle that one out of their vocabulary. If you want them to grow up a normal life grant, I will do my best. I will try, but you know, she spends more time with them being at home while I'm stuck at the GDF and all plans. Yeah, take them to work with you. Are you still in line by the way? Oh, yeah, I'm going to be here a while. They closed it to you. You can have your truck.

You got to have your truck in line by the closing times, which is two o'clock. You know, it changes every day. And then you got to. But then they'll just they'll dump you eventually. So I might be here till the sun goes down, which is about 4.30, but. Well, you'll be a home in time for dinner and then you can be with your family. And I just got to say that is what life is all about.

You like what I did there, Grant? Beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. That's poetic ending right there. Well, this is great. We'll tell everyone over at the ethanol plant. We say hello. All right. I'll try. I got a kind of a goofy buy, sell and trade. If you got the time. Thank God. Of course we got the time. We know you do.

Is it a bunch of corn? No, I'm selling that. I ain't trading that. OK, price right now. Oh, yeah. But so this one kind of I don't know when that you guys are going to this one will come out. That's kind of good for Christmas time. So a few years ago, I had a little little extra money and I was going to buy a old car, kind of restore and make it look all nice. And I realized that a few thousand dollars wasn't going to cut it. I can't afford a big car kind of restored and make it look all nice. And I realized that a few thousand dollars wasn't going to cut it. I can't afford a big car. So I started buying toy cars, specifically like hot wheels.

And at the moment I'm currently sitting on several thousand toy cars and even more, a little more money tied up in that. And I need to get them gone. Wow. I got too many. I mean, you're married with a couple thousand hot wheels. Did she know about that before getting into this? Um, yeah. Yeah. I started it just before we met. I mean, you don't start something like that. Yeah. When you're, when you're already in a committed relationship, yeah. Yeah. Just saying you met her a few months earlier. You might've not had this collection.

I probably had enough money then to buy that actual driving car versus all these little ones. But do you have a, any rare hot wheels in your collection? Um, I got a few, so they roll. I won't nerd out on you completely, but they release like special edition ones every year and they're worth, you know, you still buy them for a dollar. But last I checked, I got one that's probably worth about 120 bucks right now. Um, but I mean, that's certain ones will go for, you know, you can buy them for 25, 30 bucks and they'll sell for 50 to

a hundred in some cases. So I mean, it's prices are all over the board, but I also got just a ton of like $1 ones too. Do you have a three car garage and one of the, uh, cars is just like an entire parking lot for these. He's got a thousand car garage. Yeah. I got a couple totes full of them anyways. The other tracks started. I did. I used to do like some videos on the tick tock where I would race them, but then the track kind of takes up a lot of space. Yeah. What is the handle? We need to look this up. Yeah. Let's look it up. Oh, OK. So it's it's it's the orange track farmer.

Let me see this. So let me guess. So let me guess you have an orange track and you also farm. Atta boy. Nothing gets by you guys. I'm excited for this track farmer. Okay. Here we go. Oh, wow. He's got a following. Yeah. So you can't sell these. This is what time out you taking some of these out of the box. So I, so I I've done a thing since January 1st of 2020 where I carry a car in my pocket every day. I've got spreadsheets

to tell you what car was what day, like which one was my wedding day, which one was the day my daughter was born. Yeah. So I, I, I've opened, that's been about 1800 days. So wow. Are you, yeah. This goofy little snowman. I think I got. Oh, yeah. As the advent calendar one. Number 11 right in the middle. You know my voice, by the way. Perhaps I was right again.

Bitch in shade of green. Who was still a brand. Finally, day 12 way up in the corner. Oh, yes. One of these car ornament hook deals. Just like that. We're half done. And only 12 days until Christmas, y'all.

Matt. Wow, you got a real nice radio voice. Yeah, is that AI? Yeah, that's a stock TikTok voice. Yeah, I'm in there a few times. You can see my beautiful face. Oh yeah, there you are. Yeah, tock voice. Yeah, I'm in there a few times. You can see my beautiful face. Oh, yeah. There you are.

Yeah. Yeah, you made a cool. I mean, that is kind of cool that you have like you bought ones on specific days. That's kind of cool. That is cool. I mean, I got to admit to you, I didn't have a whole lot of hope, but I'm liking a few of these for Miles's account right here. Wow. So are you trade?

You want to trade these? Yeah. What's the need? What do you want to trade for? Well, I'd trade it for more cars, but that's not exactly solving my problem. I mean, probably just selling them out, right? All of them. What's your price?

Or somebody's got a, How much for the lot? I'd trade for like an old Dodge truck or something. How about that? I don't know if that's going to fly. Yeah. It might be really, how much if you were selling it, how much for the whole thing? Whole shebang. Oh man. So I know what I've got invested in them, give or take. So I mean, I whole thing, every, every car I own probably, I don't know, $5,000 maybe. I know. Yeah. I got a problem.

Yeah, you do. But I bought them for cheaper than that. So I think I'm actually money ahead. That's some guy map. If you sell them. Yeah. Well, you know, hey, he's he's rich on paper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. He's worse. It's an I'm investing. Yeah, exactly. Well, there you have it, folks.

If you're interested in this classic Hot Wheels collection, DM, the Orange Track Farmer on Tick Tock before Tick Tock. Isn't Tick Tock going away? DM the orange track farmer on Tik Tok before tick tock isn't tick tock going away aren't they closing that thing down? I Think I guess all right. Well Messaging them now if you got I'm also on the Instagram to same name Yeah, hurry up. I'm also on the Instagram too. Same handle. Same handle. All right. Well, there you have it. Well, thanks for calling in Grant and yeah, good luck selling your fleet, my man. Thank you guys. Tell you folks I says hi.

All right. Offload that corn. We'll see ya. Well, that's a fun hobby. Just I would love to be a hobby guy. What would be your hobby? Well, I'm a I'm a phase guy. So I go through phases. Phase is a hobby. Yeah, like I bought a pocket watch.

Oh, yeah. I've never seen you. Well, it's once on your wedding. It was a correct. It's one of those things you don't wear around. Why not? Because it was expensive. Oh, really? Yeah. How much was it? I don't want wear around. Why not? Cause it was expensive. Oh really? Yeah. How much was it?

I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about, would you trade it for the trade, the watch for the cars? I would not. Really? So it was more than that. No, I, I'm not giving a price. Come on. No, don't be weird about it.

So what I mean though is I'd love to be someone who would spend multiple years collecting or doing something. I just I'll go through phases Well, I learned more. Yeah, but Why don't you go through the phase of the cars do them a solid good? You got an old Dodge imagine if I went home and said hey and trip was good $5,000 were the hot wheels So I'm gonna throw them in the basement, even though we're trying to clear everything out of our basement. That'd go over good.

Yeah, they're probably a choking hazard to spin zone though. It'd be pretty fun when he gets older. Yeah, it would be fun. You'd be, you say you're investing in your child's future. That's something we can do together. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, Charlie, is that it? I think that's it. Miles, another one in the box. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, Charlie, is that it? I think that's it. Miles, another one in the box. Guys, remember, we got the road hunt for ditch chicken stuff on the website. We got the tippy cow shirts on the website. Oh, you bet you dot com. Thanks for tuning into another episode and watch for deer and tip your bartender. See you next boom.