Bellied Up - Midwest House Hunters #98
Episode Date: April 25, 2024Our first caller is looking for honeymoon ideas—places to go and things to do. Then, we've got a realtor from the Midwest who's after some marketing tips to boost her business. And lastly, w...e've got a caller thinking about throwing a joint bachelor and bachelorette bash. Get yourself a "Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens" Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click Here Check Out Myles' other Podcast You Betcha Radio Check Out Charlie's other Podcast Cripescast
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Welcome back to another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast.
Charlie, how you feeling, buddy?
Hmm. Feeling good, Miles.
It's it's a new day and I'm alive, man.
And where are we at today?
Oh, we're at Schuller's.
Oh, yeah. Sweatshirt even.
Yeah, it's they got a nice hockey.
When in Minnesota, you got to wear a hockey sweatshirt.
Golden Valley, baby.
Golden Valley. Yeah, it's nice being here, man.
It's nice being here with you.
Places bumping. Have we bought pull tabs yet?
We haven't. We're going to have to do that next.
Next go around next episode.
Yeah, I was thinking
the other day and by the other day, I mean, like on my drive here today,
like, you know, cash makes the world go around.
Cash is king. I think cash is king. It's what they say. But cash is clay was a boxer. Uh,
but um, what, what do you think, dude, if we weren't paid in cash, if we weren't doing
things for cash, what would we work for? Yeah. If we weren't paid money, how would we like
to be paid? Right. Okay.
I think that I would like to be paid as you've just brought up in poll taps. What? But like,
so it's just the thrill of the game. You can't win cash. Well, I think you can win cash miles.
You just loop hold this situation, dude. You can't loophole the question. Okay, fine. What were you going to say then? I was going to say land.
That you could then sell for more money. Wow.
I think we truly are finding out that cash is king.
You know what? You know what? No, here's how I want to be fine. I want to be paid.
I want to be given. I want to be paid in
access to your garage to take one thing from your garage. I
get to decide. I and you can even put stipulations. It can't
be one thing. So if you like your car, can't be the car, but
you can't put dibs on all the cars. Okay, fine. You know,
you're not gonna. It's a lot of just junk in my garage. I enjoy.
I enjoy junk. I enjoy junk.
I know. Yeah, you do.
That's why you got that snowmobile you haven't fixed.
Yeah, yeah, I was going to say it's closer, but it's not.
I did. I haven't put any.
Also, there's no freaking snow anymore.
So, you know, that's the thing.
That's the thing. The snowmobile is they just keep going farther and farther north to find more snow. Same time polar bears coming farther and farther south to find more food.
In the middle at some point.
And dinner baby.
Yep.
So I'd like to be paid in garlic bread.
Oh, that's dangerous, Miles. Like I I don't think you guys understand how much I love garlic bread.
It's like, you know, I've been trying to lose weight, trying to eat healthier.
And that has been the hardest thing I've noticed to cut out of my diet is garlic bread.
How many it's in any single any form could be Texas toast style.
It could be garlic knots. It could be garlic monkey bread.
It could be garlic knots. It could be garlic monkey bread. It could be garlic sticks. Sometimes I'll even just take a scoop of garlic butter and just put
one of those down.
That's fast. First of all, this is the first time I'm hearing that you can make monkey
bread out of garlic. Yeah. You have garlic it with the, with the sweetness in that.
No, you just make monkey bread, but instead of putting like cinnamon and sugar and icing
on it, you
just put garlic butter on it. Garlic and butter. That's cool, dude. You're like always protected
from vampires. Yeah. Cause you got that garlic breath. Great. Yeah. I got great breath. When?
Yeah. Trust me. Sit next to all these times. Poor Ann. I know dude. And so where did your
love for garlic bread begin? You know, I don't think that you choose garlic bread. It chooses you and when did it first choose you?
I mean, I've been eating garlic bread since I was a wee young chap
And did you first have it with spaghetti at your folks house? Like yeah first first memorable time with garlic bread
Yeah, I remember getting like garlic bread at school, you know, my mom was kind of a spaz about food growing up,
you know? Okay. What do you mean by that? You only organic garlic bread. Yeah. It's, you know,
we, we used to get a hundred calorie snacks. Do you remember those things? Oh yeah. Like where it
was like the diet, diet from fruits. Yeah. I was like, they'd be Oreos, but they would just like
be little crackers that were not Oreos at all. Yeah. And then she'd be like, oh, it's great.
Then you don't eat as much in many calories.
But then we would just eat like six of them.
Six bags.
Tiny little bags and it would defeated the whole purpose.
Right.
Should have just given you the real thing.
So, but yeah, it's like, I try and put garlic
on almost anything I eat.
If I'm cooking at home, I'm just garlic powder, garlic,
minced garlics once in a while, garlic butter,
it doesn't matter.
So it's really the garlic for you.
It's not necessarily the bread.
I mean, the bread, I mean, it's just straight carbohydrates
to the dome.
Yeah.
You know, it's like first getting a beer buzz
and then getting a garlic buzz is like one, two for me.
Oh, the one to punch.
I mean, that must be tough for you because you've you've lost a lot of weight.
I know. And it's been tough.
But that's like, you know, the splurge, right?
Is some people want ice cream?
Some people want this and that.
Just give me a loaf of garlic bread.
Here's my question.
Why don't more bars have garlic bread?
I don't know
Well, I think you got a I think you got a thing there my as I think if you start a bar you serve garlic
Bread there that could be your thing
the garlic bar
Yeah, and and you basically you buy
By dinner and it makes sure we bring we give you a stick of mint gum
so after you're done eating your garlic bread you put that instead of getting like buy dinner and make sure we give you a stick of mint gum.
So after you're done eating your garlic bread,
you put the, instead of getting like,
dessert is all minty desserts.
Mint ice cream and stuff like that.
You have to think to the future,
and if your entire clientele is into
just garlic-based products,
they're never gonna be able to create more people
because it's just gonna be like,
ah, yeah.
You know?
All right, should we take some callers, Miles?
What do you think?
Let's do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to the Belly Dub Podcast.
Who we talking to?
I'm talking to Jordan.
Jordan.
What's going on today?
Where are you calling from?
Yeah.
Callin' from, Kansas. Okay
You're in Kansas. Why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind
Yeah, so I was just recently married back in September
Congratulations kind of
Kind of looking for a little honeymoon getaway. Not sure where we want
to go yet. Figure to call and see what you guys would say for a honeymoon. Okay. Well,
let's get some of the details. You got married in September. What do you and your wife like
to do for fun? Oh, a little bit of everything.
Nothing that we've turned down yet, I guess.
Okay. Thanks for giving us a lot.
That was a lot to go off.
Yeah. How much are you looking to stay in the States?
Are you looking to go somewhere outside?
You got some money to spend or not?
Yeah, see, we were looking at a cruise, but I don't know
about a cruise down to a cruise. Cruises are the frigging worst, man. It's, it's a prison
on the, on the ocean. Yeah. I don't believe Shaquille O'Neal. He's always pushing carnival
cruises. There's no way Shaquille O'Neal is on a cruise. He doesn't fit on a cruise. I
went on a cruise one time in my life and I want the number one thing I wanted was to get off that cruise
It was awful, dude. Okay, so we have
Go ahead. My dad just went my dad just went to on a cruise here over the actually last week
And I talked to him about it and he goes. Yeah, it's just like a floating nursing home
Doesn't that sound romantic for your honeymoon? Yeah, no, it's not.
The food sucks.
The drinks are watered down.
It's super expensive and you're trapped.
Yeah, it's OK.
So we've eliminated the cruise.
Where else are you thinking other than a cruise?
Maybe like the Dominican Dominican Republic.
OK, so you got a spendy fella. OK, so you got a spending fella.
Okay, he's got a budget.
He's got a budget.
Yeah, got a budget.
Nice.
Yeah, a little bit.
So what are you looking for in a honeymoon?
Would you say you're looking to just get intimate the whole time?
Are you looking for adventure?
What are you looking for looking for like a little bit of both?
If there's an option for that.
Okay, maybe an adventure with intimacy as well.
I like that, Miles.
I like where you're going.
That would be nice.
Yeah, you can do it with sharks actually.
There's an experience for that.
And it's cheap too.
You just find a beach and you hold your breath
and make it happen.
There's sharks in the water.
Yeah, you're looking to go out to a beach somewhere.
You're looking for maybe exploring a city.
Like you're thinking a Europe trip.
You think in a beach vacation.
What are you thinking?
I'm not interested in all those cities.
They're overrated.
Okay.
You want to do the Jimmy Buffett special.
You want to be with your feet in the sand,
ass in a lawn chair and sucking down margaritas.
You bet. I mean, there's nothing better than that.
Okay. Charlie, what would you, where would you send them?
I am looking at Conrad Maldives, Rand Galley Island Maldaldives you can sleep in a hotel underwater dude
that's so freaking cool yeah you can sleep underwater you have to scuba dive
down to it but then you it's just you and I don't know if I can hold my breath
that long no scuba dive dude you got you got oxygen on you you know yeah
you got feel like an old person with an oxygen tank well now bro it's scuba
diving it's it's a sport you you gotta learn how to start scuba certified okay
piss on my parade I'll find something else yeah this must be what it's like
being a travel agent you know you get excited about something like
yeah, well, you suggest the one you get a high up kind of guy. Yeah, he's a land guy. He's like me.
I like being on solid flat ground. I don't love heights. I don't love, you know, spending too much
time underwater. I've been to the ocean once and the one time I went to the ocean I went to the Atlantic
Atlantic Ocean, I think Virginia Beach. Yeah, I was like in seventh grade and I was there
for like 15 minutes was on a school trip and I one of my buddies fell on my arm and I broke
my arm. So I can't be keen on the ocean. but. I can see why you hate the ocean, yeah,
because your buddy fell on your freaking arm.
I get it, dude, that's fine, that's fine.
There's other options.
Do you like the mountains?
Yeah, actually, so we went to Colorado Springs
and got married.
We eloped to Colorado Springs.
That's actually the first time I've been
to the mountain range, and we went to Pike's Peak
and it was beautiful.
I think the wife loved it too.
So.
Okay, maybe we're making some headway here, Charlie.
I like it.
We can go back to Colorado, do the mountains.
If you want the cheaper version,
you go to the driftless area of Wisconsin
because that's where the glacier missed.
We got some hills there.
And if you're at the bottom of one of those hills
and you've had enough cocktails and the clouds are up,
the clouds can kind of look like mountains there, too.
And you can climb a hill, pretend you're on a mountain.
That's the budget version of it.
OK, so here we were saying, there you go.
We're sending them to the mountains, Charlie.
Let's give them some advice on what he should do at the honeymoon. All right. What, what are the, what are our tips for a great honeymoon?
Charlie, you started off. Okay. First things first on a great honeymoon. What you're going
to want. Ah, your honeymoon wasn't great. No, it was. I don't know, man. I'll kick it off. You kicked this up. So something
great for a honeymoon is you, your wife's going to love it. If you make some plans,
right? I don't know how you're guys. Oh yeah. I'm such a big plan guy. Yeah, that's what every
30 minutes what we're doing. What you're calling this podcast. So hold on. So she's the planner
is what you're saying. Yeah, she's definitely the plan. That's great. That's what I'm trying
to say. I'm saying you don't normally plan. So if you do make a plan, she's going to be
like, Oh, that's so sweet. He
never plans anything. And he did for a honeymoon. You did your due diligence and it doesn't
take that much. Just make a couple dinner reservations somewhere. And she's going to
love that. Yeah. How hard is it to make a couple of calls? Huh? Cause I think what your
goal is, is to make sure you're getting lucky on this honeymoon
too. And that's going to up your chances. There. Yeah. That's one of the main goals.
So yeah, I would say just make a few plans. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. Even
if it's saying, I got a plan for today and it's like, we're going to eat at the hotel
bar, you know, it's always, there's just a plan. You know, we have scheduled TV
time from two to four. Exactly. She's going to love that, especially if she's the one doing all
the planning. Finish the day off at the bar from noon to midnight. A plan's a plan, baby. That's
our dude. Dude, I got,
here's your new plan. I got a fricking tree house with a hot tub in it.
You can sleep in the trees.
Ooh, that sounds awesome.
Yeah, yeah, not only that, I've got five other options.
Okay, so I mean, yeah dude, I got five tree houses
you can sleep in in the mountains.
Whoa. Yeah, so that's exciting located Colorado so Charlie what else should he do on the honeymoon to ensure
that he has a great time get a frickin tree house man you got to look at these
things they're awesome what else should you do yeah what do you do I do
adventures because after an adventure you kind of like get this bond in this attachment and that makes the hanky-panky
Cranky Yankee, you know stanky and yeah, I mean depending on what the adventure is. Yeah, I mean you go
You know so get some real interesting adventure sports like have you guys ever tried you're gonna be in the mountains
You can do some rock climbing.
Oh, that would be cool.
Near death experiences is what you're looking for.
That's-
Really bring it together.
Yeah, there's nothing that gets people turned on
and fired up to fornicate like a near death experience.
All right?
Don't take my word for it.
Frank that life insurance before we leave.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
But hey, make sure she doesn't die on the honeymoon
and it's your fault because that money that it's coming right back to you. That's a classic
thing. Everybody always tries to off their significant other on the honeymoon, you know,
wait a couple of years before you do that. Right. Right. The other thing I would say
is don't do anything competitive with
your wife. I made this mistake on my honeymoon and and I at the resort there was a pickle
ball court and we started playing pickle ball. You know, I just I got a win and when did
I I did and for a couple hours, there wasn't a lot of conversation between her and I.
So if I were to do my honeymoon again,
I'd stay away from competing against the wife
because it can get ugly.
You want to win the war, not the battle.
Miles won the battle, lost the war.
Big mistake.
So stay away from that on your honeymoon.
And then he had a sad wiener to show for it.
Just a sad, sad wiener to show for it. Just a sad, sad wiener.
So yeah, I think near death experiences,
let her win for sure this fricking tree house
with the hot tub dude, that's money.
And yeah, I mean, did we do okay there, Miles?
Yeah.
All right.
I think that sounds like a plan.
The tree house would be tough if one of you scared of heights though. So just maybe check in on that before you
go making plans. I'm not scared of heights. I don't think she is either, but there you
go tree house. But you gotta remember fear is your friend. My guy here is your friend, my guy. Oh yeah, fear is your friend.
It just makes all the other senses. What fear does is it brings out your survival instincts
and it just fires up all the survival instincts.
One of those instincts is procreation.
So there you have it.
There you have it.
I read that on National Geographic.
Yup, now he's trying to get off.
Thanks for planning my honeymoon.
No, I'm not trying to get off.
I wanna switch to another topic.
Okay, well let's switch gears.
What do you got?
The weather, how's the weather been up there?
Oh, it's awful, man.
It's freezing, it's warm, It's whatever. It's it's terrible
What do you think's going on?
Monday to Monday me and the wife after work. We went took the dogs on a walk, you know shorts and a t-shirt
Yesterday
Wearing a t-shirt all day didn't go on a walk after work. It was a little bit. The wind was a little bit scary. Wake up this morning. There's snow on the ground. Now I'm
out here working in the field. There's not a drop of snowed insight. Yeah. Hey, you know,
what they say in the Midwest. If you don't like the weather, just wait 10 minutes. Yeah.
That's for sure. Is the weather going to screw you? You're out there in the field,
you said?
I shouldn't unless it rains a lot pulling trees out, tearing trees out, kind of improving
some ground more acres.
Well, is that improving it or de-proving it? What's the opposite of improving?
Well, if you ask our, he's the guy that runs our hunting division, he thinks we're de-proving
it, but we think we're improving it.
I think you're de-proving it.
Yeah, why are you taking the trees out, dude?
We need some to stabilize the climate.
And they'll block all the wind.
We're not taking out all the trees. We're taking
out the trees that are out in the middle of the pastures, but leaving all the trees like
in the waterways and draw stuff like that for the deer. Okay. Okay. All right. Well,
we appreciate you calling in today, man. I good luck with all of the woodwork. Yeah.
Have fun on the honeymoon and congratulations on getting married.
Thank you. Yeah, big, big, big moves coming.
And you do whatever you want with those trees.
Make some nice out of the wood.
You get going out of there, you know, go go mill it or something.
Make it. Make it nice.
I don't know. Anyways, just thoughts. We'll make something nice.
Yeah. All right. All right. Have a good one, man. Yep. Thanks for taking my call. Yep.
See ya. I was, I, have you ever been in a tree house before? Like, like a Airbnb in
the tree house before? Yeah. An Airbnb in tree. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was
it like? Was it awesome? Freaking cool, man. I've never done it. I am scared of heights. Is it? Is
that an issue? No, no, it's not that high off the ground. Not that high off the ground.
And you know what? What better way to encounter your counter your fears than that? That is
true. Wake up in the morning and just get scared. Yeah. You don't need coffee then, right?
Oh, it's just adrenaline going.
No, you'll be fine.
Yeah, but it's cool.
All right. Love to see what Anne thinks.
Maybe with next week, vacay.
Yeah. Treehouse.
OK, treehouse.
Welcome to the belly of the podcast.
Who are we talking to?
Hi, this is Chantelle.
Chantelle, how's it going? Good. How are you? Oh, we're
doing real good. Where are you calling in from Chantelle? I am calling. Oh, say it
again. You cut out. You're going through a tunnel. Oh, sorry. I'm driving and through woods. So, all right. Where are you calling in from?
I'm calling from forest, Ohio. Okay. Little Ohio. What are you calling in for? Why don't
you belly up to the bar with us? So I have recently become a real estate agent and I
was calling to see what you guys thought would make the best Midwest realtor doing
everything right.
Okay.
I think first things first, you need a Midwest marketing plan.
You know, yeah, I mean, the number one rule of real estate is all about marketing.
It doesn't matter if you're good or not.
As long as you got good marketing, you got good business.
That's true.
You just need the people always coming through.
And I think you got to find the trick is, is to market
in the ways that Midwest people will be able to receive it.
You know? So, yes.
Like, what do you think, Miles?
Well, I think if you're trying to market
Midwest people, you got to start in the bars, right? Maybe you start
with putting your face on some coasters. Maybe you start with getting a neon sign and putting
them up at bars. Guys love taking peas at the urinal. Right above the urinal, give them
something to read.
That's not a bad idea.
You know what I mean?
I can do a flyer right above the urinal.
Urinal flyers is going to be your best friend.
What you're looking for is you need to make them laugh, right?
So your slogan's got to be something funny.
So what slogan would you maybe go with, Charlie?
Hey, you need a house?
Or no.
Or no.
There you go.
See, hilarious, right there.
Right there.
I got the keys to your place, you know,
and then it's just you pointing at the thing
that's a little bit more serious,
but give yourself a nice winky face, okay?
And that'll really catch the eye
as the dingle dangles there above the ur face. Okay. And that'll that'll really catch the eye as as the dingle dangles
there above the urinal. Yeah. Oh, no, you go got drunk again. I have a house that would be awesome
to sleep on the couch at. Yeah. There you go. Or kind of like do a thing where you're looking like
you're looking down. This is for the urinal flyer and like, you've got enough small things in your life, how about a big house to help you overcompensate?
Are you looking for overcompensation? I got a house for you.
Yeah. Or you just do the classic and say, nice watch. If you can afford that,
try one of these homes. So now we got marketing taken care of.
Oh, and when you're showing the house,
now you got them in the door, literally,
but when you're showing the house,
you gotta make sure you're showing them the right stuff.
Okay, if you got Midwest people,
they're not necessarily interested
in the crown molding first.
I mean, eventually they'll get to that.
But go make sure that the water heater's working right
and make sure you slap it when you say,
this is a good one right here.
Yep.
You know?
You're really selling an experience, Charlie.
So you gotta make sure that the Wheel of Fortune
is on the TV.
Yes.
They need to visualize what it's gonna be like
when they plop down on a Saturday morning, you know?
Yep, and have the floor plan on the kitchen table
and show them all the exits people will attempt to go out
during a Midwest goodbye and what barriers
you can put in their place.
This is where the leftovers go before door number three.
You need to have all these barriers
that people gotta get through
so they can't just skedaddle you know an Irish goodbye out of your house.
In the fridge, you got to just stock it full of old
whipped cream containers and butter containers
so they can visualize how much space there is for leftovers.
Yeah. Yeah. And and and you're nice to have a little dish in there.
Yeah. Yes.
And you've got to remind them that the fridge comes with the house.
We love a twofer.
OK, something's got to come with the house.
All right. If it's furniture, that's great.
The more things that come with the house, the better, you know,
because we just feel like we're getting a deal.
OK, even if that house is full of black mold,
we'll be fine if it comes with a couch that's full of black mold. Okay.
A couch and some nice paneling makes the black mold all better.
Oh, yeah. Wood paneling. Yeah, that seals it in there just like
the asbestos. Yeah. And you got to get good at the marketing
terms, right? The house isn't small. It's just got a lot of charm. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
It's not moldy. It just has character. So you got to get good at using your adjectives
when you're describing the home and then we up and maybe take them around and introduce
them to the neighbors to kind of show them the neighbors
I tell you this one if one of the neighbors has a little
Plant growing out of the gutters that's gonna get this person excited because they're gonna be like all the neighbors haven't done their gutters
And at least a year I got to get up there you want them excited to move in and the best way to do that is
You know what just go put a plant And the best way to do that is you
want just go put a plant in the neighbors gutters because the neighbors gutters are
probably going to be cleared out. But put a little plant up there. Get them excited
about maybe being able to do the neighbors gutters. I think they're going to be moving
in quicker than you think.
Yeah. You know, some people like moving into a place where like lawn and snow removal is, uh, you could have that, but it's just
like, Oh, you know, bill across the street once in a while was going to shovel you drive
for you. You can't guarantee it, but it's definitely a perk that comes with the house.
Absolutely. To know somebody like that. And the other thing you gotta be thinking about sort of outdoor potluck situations.
Again, have like a table set up there,
show them where the line's gonna go,
show them where the, you know,
you got your Weber, your Smokey Joe,
show them the spacing for all of this.
Really leave nothing to the imagination.
You wanna lay this out for them before.
Now I got a question for you.
What is your current tactics?
How are you trying to sell more homes currently?
So I just try to get my face out there
I am on coffee mugs and the coffee shop because I figured you know those those farmers they like to talk
yes, they do
on the coffee mug in the coffee shop and try to talk
to as many people and not let them get away from me. You know, use that good or Midwest
goodbye as a tactic. Yeah. At the end of it, they go, I'm a real good.
Yeah. It's smart because at on face value, it's like, well, why are you going after the
farmers? They haven't moved in there. They stay in the same house for 50 years, but they are
the gossip center of the entire town. They're basically the news reporters. You know, like
the farmers act like they don't want to be in anyone's business, but what they do is
they get their morning coffee and they just start gossiping away. And you get over to
that coffee shop.
I honestly think you get there when it opens and you park yourself right there
just with an open table and just you're going to find someone to talk to pretty quick.
If you can get yourself into that that golden circle of old dudes
talking over their coffee, you know?
You've made it. You have made it into the fold.
Like every coffee shop or whatever,
diner has a table of old guys talking.
And if you can get your way in there.
So just get yourself a newspaper
and just start saying audibly,
ah, can you believe they're doing this shit again?
You know, and just slam it down.
You're gonna attract one.
You know, that's like calling a buck in.
You know, you're a hunter at this point.
You're gonna get some other old fella be like,
I know, that shit, it's crazy.
And figure out what shit he's talking about
and just pretend like you care about that
and bada bing, bada boom, you're in like sin.
Right, between the farmers
and then I own
a construction company with my husband too.
I got all the construction guys on my side.
So I'm hoping that those two,
their gossiping will push me forward.
I like that.
Yeah, that's a whole other taste.
So now you guys are owning all these different parts
of the housing business.
Look at you guys, you're about to have your own empire
down there in Ohio.
I also be glad to hear we specialize in concrete masonry
and our main is white tail construction.
Oh.
So we got corner right there.
I like that.
Hey, I like the, are your coffee mugs?
You know what you should have on one face.
It should just be, or on one side of the coffee mug,
it's your face on the other side.
It's just a white tail's tail, you know?
That's kind of fun.
It could be a little erotic for bucks in the area,
but you know, just a nice design for everyone else.
Yeah.
What, uh,
I don't want, what jog did you try before
that didn't work out, then you ended up being a realtor?
So I've been kind of all over the place.
I went to school, I have two degrees in livestock science. So I specialize in cattle and fly
production. And then I was in finance for about five years.
Okay. I knew that that would be the answer because no one ever starts out as a real estate
agent. They just end up being a real estate agent. So I'm glad we cleared that up.
Yeah. What made you want to be a real estate agent. So I'm glad we cleared that up.
Yeah, what made you want to be a real estate agent? Is it like set your own hours, do your own thing?
You're really into houses,
make sense with your husband's biz.
What were the motivating factors?
Oh, I liked that I could set my own hours
and I like looking at houses and helping people.
I like to talk to people a lot.
So it just kind of made sense to drag people through houses
and talk to them the whole time.
Yeah, well, I think it's gonna make dollars for you too.
Coming up here pretty quick.
Any last places you think she can put her face
to really get her name out there, Charlie?
Hmm, hmm.
Have you looked into Skyriders? I have there, Charlie. Hmm. Hmm. Have you looked into sky riders?
I have not. I have not.
OK, you might want to think about that.
Is that an airplane that writes in the sky?
Oh, yeah. You know, our big banner,
big banner would be nice.
Just oh, you know, this is how you do it.
You got all those farmers, you know, they need to be crop dusted.
Get a nice banner out there on the back of the crop duster.
Just pay the crop duster to, you know, put a banner behind their deal.
That's going to be great.
I mean, it may get caught up in something.
And maybe a fire line or something.
Yeah. And also, who knows?
You know, yeah, maybe don't do that, but it's a fun idea.
We're spitballing.
Yeah, no judgment here, Charlie.
And by the way, on the opposite side, if a crop duster gets caught in
the power line, starts a massive fire.
I mean, that's some good viral marketing for you right there.
You know, houses so hot, they're on fire.
I mean, mm hmm.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't feel bad because they would get hurt. No,
they've got a parachute. Oh, okay. It's a hypothetical situation. No one's actually
dying in this scenario. You know? Um, yeah, maybe that was a terrible idea. Oh, I got
another one. Yeah. What's that? that? Get your face on the back.
All the snow plows.
Oh, yeah.
So in the wintertime, you know, you get stuck behind a snow plow.
That's the worst, you know, but at least maybe give them some
entertaining to look at when they're behind one.
That's not start getting your face everywhere.
Yeah, that's that's not start getting your face everywhere yeah that's that's not
alright um have you bought any billboards yet I have not bought any
billboards yet well why not I need money first miles you know why she's calling in
she's calling in to advertise her business. Ah, we did it again.
We did, ha.
We're giving away free advertising space.
You know, we should charge for this stuff.
Now we're idiots.
That's okay.
We do it all for free.
All right.
All right, plug your plug in business.
Plug the business.
Let's hear it.
Whitetails, right?
Uh, Shantel has released the Danbury Company and the Designer Realtor Group, and then we
also have Whitetail Construction
for all your masonry and concrete needs.
So I can remember Whitetail Construction right off the top.
Tell me the name of the realtor name again.
My name is Shantel Hartley.
I'm with the Dan Berry Company.
We're gonna need to spice that one up a little bit.
The Dan Berry Company.
Is it a, oh, could your slogan be like a guy named Dan who's like a berry like in Willy
Wonka?
You know, that could be fun and do a little commercial for that one.
I don't own that one.
I didn't.
Well, something similar to it at knockoff.
You know, everybody likes a good knockoff.
I'm going to tell you what house you need. You know, maybe something like that. You got spice it up. Yeah. Where
Oh, shant. Tell your folks. I says hi. Oh my God. That's you need to tell your folks.
I says I put that everywhere, everywhere, plant it all across the farmlands. I'm going to be upset if you
don't put Chantelle your folks. I says, hi everywhere. I'm be upset. You know, it took
us a long time. This was just a brainstorming spit balling session. I even said, start a
plane on fire, but it ended up being a good place. Okay? And Chantelle, your folks I says hi,
I think is a real winner.
I think you'd be silly not to really double down
on that one.
I like that one.
I like that one a lot.
I can tell with the energy in your voice, Chantelle,
I can tell we were not winning you over there.
You thought this was a complete waste of time,
but now, yeah, no.
Chantelle. Yeah, no, we're good. Okay.
I feel really good about that. I feel good. Chantelle feels good. Well, she had tell
thanks for calling in. Glad we could plug your business and you got to get a billboard
up. It says, should tell your folks. I says, hi. Yep. Thank you guys for all the advice.
I am super excited to start implementing things
and putting my face everywhere. And yeah, we'll send you a bill for our marketing services.
Yeah. I'll be sure to lose that one in the mail. Might be a little sticker shot.
Classic net 30 situation. That's all right. That's 30 years on that payment. I think we'll have our lawyer call you. He's got a beard.
All right. Take care. Now, Shantel Shantel your folks.
Miles, you dirty dog. We found it. We found it. You know, sometimes it feels like Charlie,
we are walking in a forest without a flashlight in the deep darks of the night. But then all of a sudden, you stumble upon a little oasis.
It's always darkest before dawn.
My guy.
And I was a little worried that we were going to not pull that
one out of her ass, but we did.
Mm hmm.
I mean, we're just creative guys.
You know what?
I think something I say it's kind of like the pickle jar.
I loosened it for you.
Yeah.
I need to get it for you.
I need to I need to get it going there. But, you know, classic all your bad ideas led to our good ideas.
So thanks for every good idea.
Takes about a thousand bad ideas.
And folks, I just want to thank all of you for hanging in there.
And I know you've all listened to so. So many bad ideas over the years and.
Blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.
We do, because we keep looking.
It's not about being blind,
it's about whether or not you stop looking.
That's right.
There you go.
Should we take another caller?
Let's do it.
Charlie.
What's up, Miles?
You know what this week is?
What's that?
It's your birthday week.
Oh no, I'm another year closer to my optimize. 54 years old. You know what this week is? What's that? It's your birthday week. Oh no, I'm another year closer to my four years.
You know what, Miles?
Why don't you go to have fun?
Okay, I will.
You know how I'm going to have fun for your birthday?
What's that, Miles?
I'm going to have some tippy cow.
Oh yeah.
Hey, and blues, my favorite color.
Boom, vanilla for your birthday.
That's what I got you to, by the way.
It's why did you really go out and get me a free tippy cow bottle
that was already given to you for free miles?
No, that's no. I bought that one. Did you buy that one?
Well, really good, man.
Is that what you're going to do on your birthday?
You're going to sit on your couch, tip back a nice glass of tippy cow.
You know what? I got a show on my birthday.
Green Bay,
Wisconsin. Um, but after show drink little after show concoction will be, you bet you
a little tippy cow. Nothing better than getting off stage and pour myself a nice fat glass
of vanilla soft serve on ice and just suck it back. So guys, the best drink on your birthday is tippy cow.
So you gotta get some happy birthday to me. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we have our
favorite lawyer on the line. Mr. Russell at Nicolay law and boy, Oh boy, am I going to
have a few questions for him today? Charlie. What's up? So I've had some experience
experience with other lawyers and I tell you what the thing that I have the toughest time
with with lawyers and I've been very public about this on many other podcasts is you can't
ever get a straight answer out of a lawyer. You know, it's always jargon, jargon, jargon. I asked,
well, what about this? And what's you could do this? You could do that. And I just can't
seem to get a straight answer all the time. So Russell, I would love to ask you, why does
that happen? And what's your mentality behind all of that legal jargon talking to clients.
Yeah. I think you see a lot of lawyers.
It's because they're trained to be really cautious and risk adverse.
So they don't want to tell you one thing or another.
Also, I think one of the bigger problems is lawyers often don't like to upset people
and give them bad news.
So the way I've always done it is I just shoot, shoot them straight and say,
Hey, you know what?
This is the good, this is the bad, this is the ugly.
That's given me a lot of success because one, if I was on the client
end, I'd want to know that, like, I want to know an answer.
I want to know if it's going to be bad, it's going to be good,
or it's going to be terrible.
And so when you're comfortable enough to tell people that, it really actually helps out.
But I think a lot of lawyers are like,
I gotta talk in this legal jargon,
I gotta be real careful, I don't wanna upset my client.
But what I found out is most folks just wanna know,
like you're saying, they want plain English
and they wanna you to shoot them straight.
And sometimes that's news that they don't wanna hear,
but they like it when you give it to them that way
because then they can deal with it.
And so that's what I always tell people here, our lawyers too, I say, hey, shoot people straight. And if it's bad news, give it to them that way because then they can deal with it And so that's what I always tell people here our lawyers to us
They hate you people straight and if it's bad news give it to them right away
So they know because often it's not something that we cause we're just the one that they're hired to help
But we got to tell them what they're dealing with and they need to know the answer straight and they need to know the answer early
Well, and I think it's important because Charlie I imagine you had had this, right? You're growing up and
your dad probably had the tough conversation with you early. Hey buddy, you're not going
to play for the Packers someday. Yeah. And if you would have, if he wouldn't have that
tough conversation, you would have gone a long time thinking you're going to play for
the Packers and then would have been disappointed later in life. You'd rather be a little disappointed
up front and know what to expect.
So then you can be a comedian and not try and go go for broke on the NFL.
Well, that is very true.
It was nice that my dad told me that.
And then also, I ignored what he told me and tried anyway.
And it was pretty clear after being both third string quarterback,
third string punter, second string split end
that this was not indeed in the cards for me. Can I sue Miles for bruising my ego, by
the way? Yeah.
Yeah. You know, I've seen Miles on this podcast. He's kind of attacked you a few times. He
you know, he bugs you about that divorce stuff. So I don't know. He might have something there.
You might have something there, Charlie.
Well, you're an injury attorney and I am emotionally injured by Miles.
Can I sue him?
Give me the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Yeah.
Well, I think one of the things would be
if potentially there's an intentional action by Miles
to harass you and cause you emotional distress.
But isn't it definitely guilty of that?
And we have hundreds of hours of documentation on this
podcast audio and video recording. So like,
you've got a lot of evidence against them. Um,
is it a case that I would take? No, but could you have a case there? Yeah.
You know, I just think miles better just kind of straighten up a bit.
Maybe we just give them a warning here. You know, that might be the way to do it.
I'm trying to bankrupt him and get rich off this Russell.
Come on.
Anyway, I tell people when you got a friend or a neighbor
and you got a problem with them,
sometimes this is the best advice.
You just go over there with a six pack of beer
and you work it out.
So I think maybe you and miles sit down and you know,
get out a couple of Miller lights or bush lights
and then just work it out.
I think that's what my advice would be
I love that advice
It's tough having beers with a guy who comes at you with an emotional baseball bat, but I suppose
Well Russell, thank you. How does that feel getting the good the bad dog Lee right up front?
I mean, I I like it, you know, and I that's why I appreciate about my tell you this much if I get rear-ended
I know where I'm going
Appreciate that guys also
Just start destroying the evidence if he's building this case on me destroying the you can't destroy our podcast miles
Well, you forced me here. So hey miles that's called like there's a spoilation of the evidence
So if you're like out there actually intentionally destroying evidence, that could be used again
to just so you know, it's not my fault that our server room caught on fire.
Well, it's kind of on audio recording right now.
So I love this.
He's he's helping us out.
Think about all the legal questions we can get answered right now.
Folks one One eight five
five. Nicolay. Well, man, we appreciate calling in as always. And watch out for deer. Don't
be looking at those billboards years. You gotta watch out for deer on the road too.
I hear you. I appreciate that guys. Take care. All right. We'll see you soon. Welcome to
the belly of the podcast. Who are we talking talking to this is Lauren. Hey Lauren, where you calling from?
Galesburg, Illinois
Galesburg
Yeah, I know we're all kind of by the Quad Cities over there
Yeah, actually we were at the show in Davenport last week. Oh, did you like it or no? Loved
it. Oh, that's great. Thank you for boosting through. I mean, I, I really threw that one
out there. Dicey asking that question. I know. I mean, they could have hated it, you know?
Well, thanks for coming out. I appreciate you. And why don't you belly up to the bar with
us? Tell us what's on your mind.
All right. Well, my fiance and I are getting married in September. Uh, we've been together
for almost 14 years since we were in high school. And so really we just want to have
a big party. We're not trying to do the whole traditional thing.
We just want to have some fun.
So a joint-
Actually our reception-
Zoom out the way.
Yes.
Our reception is at Lambeau Field.
Oh, that is so cool.
Right in the atrium there.
That's going to be awesome.
We're doing it on the sixth floor.
Well, you save that for after the wedding.
Oh, you know.
No, the reception. Oh, yeah.
Sixth floor is beautiful.
That's great. Is it
you can be overlooking the field and all that?
Yeah, great view of the stadium.
We get the rooftop deck for the cocktail hour.
So cool. Actually,
formally would like to invite both of you if you want to crash the wedding.
What day is it again?
September 1st is the Sunday Labor Day weekend.
OK, Labor Day is tough.
Is it tough for you?
Yeah, I figured you guys would probably be busy.
Yeah. Well, I don't know my schedule, but I'll I'll take a look at that after this call.
Well, we're really happy for you.
That's a beautiful place to get married.
So what are you calling in for? What are you looking for?
So I need some advice.
We have talked about having a combined bachelor and bachelorette
party. I always thought that that was kind of tacky.
What's the point of having a bachelor and bachelorette party if you're not doing it
without them?
Yeah, it's called a wedding.
You just want a pre-wed wedding party is what you want.
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, we've been together long enough.
We've never really been a bachelor or bachelorette per se.
I know this is your last hurrah.
There was no first hurrah.
We are the first hurrah.
Exactly. Wait, neither of you have ever been to a bachelor or Bachelorette party
Not really. No. Well, why not? You don't know anyone who's Adam or you just have never gone
Don't really know anybody that's had on most of our friends are already married. Mm-hmm. Well, so, uh
Why do you want to do it together? Why don't you want to do them
separately? Well, part of it is a scheduling thing. My fiance is a full-time farmer and
a part-time sound guy. So he's booked like all summer and to save time. And also we kind of wanted to frame it as a guys versus girls
drinking Olympics of sorts.
Now, that's not a bad idea right there.
I mean, that could be kind of fun.
I thought that might be fun.
Yeah.
Something where we can get away, have fun, no pressure,
but also without, you know, aunts and uncles and the rest of the family around.
OK, so just friends.
Are you going to invite any family on this situation at all?
His brother is one of the groomsmen, so he'll be there. So kind of just bridesmaids groomsmen
are coming on this party. Yeah. There would be a total of 10 of us. It's not a very big,
we're just on a small wedding, small party. Okay. So what are you looking for? It sounds
like you got it all planned out. Well, I just want to know if that's tacky, if we should do the traditional, you have
your thing and I have mine.
Well, I mean, it sounds like you guys, I mean, it sounds like you guys really want to do
this. So even if I say boo to that idea, I think that you got to do what you guys want
to do. Don't you think Charlie?
Yeah. I just want to get clarity on one thing, though. Like you guys have never known anyone who's had a bachelor or bachelor
at party like at all, or you just don't like going to them.
We've never been never been invited to one because they haven't had friends
since they've known them that they were.
I see. OK, that makes sense. That makes sense. All right. All right.
Well, yeah, most of our friends are already married.
I understand now.
I was spacing before.
Well, hey, listen, I think here's the deal.
You guys are pot committed on this.
You've been together 14 years.
You know the situation.
If you wanna do these beer Olympics,
I think that's great.
I think the only question now is
what are the games at the Olympics?
Charlie, what games should be out of beer Olympics? Well first and foremost
I got to tell you you got to get your standards in there
Okay, you start off with a nice flip cup situation beer pong
You got to have the standards there. Otherwise, you're gonna the whole time you're gonna be going. Why are we playing beer punk?
Why are we playing beer punk? Why aren't we playing flip cup? So get that in there. And then what's the one with the beer in the middle that you
stick the cars cards in? And then when the beer cracks, you lose categories, categories.
I think you also got to go with a DOS boot competition, little race, you know, every
team members got to drink something out of
it, but whoever finishes the boot first wins.
Yep. That'll, that'll go good. Now I assume you guys could even just do this on your own
farm and just sort of keep it, you know, really set up the situation there where you have control over everything.
You're saving the money on the rental
and you then have access to, you know,
you can do cow races, you know?
What kind of farm are we?
Not that kind of farm, but that would be fun.
I know, what kind of farm?
Corn and beans.
Corn and beans.
Well, you can do bean races, you know? All
right. That's not going to work. You got to go with. So normally I think that you got
to make it a little awkward too. I think a good party sometimes gets a little awkward.
So maybe get the last game is a game of charades But have the category be like like sex positions or something
There you go, right?
Everyone's tuned up and then everyone's got to act out sex positions and that would really get the party going make everyone feel nice
And awkward. Yep, this could end some of those
Marriages between your friends though. So be careful with that
Another option since you have no roads
to be wary of on the farm is,
this isn't necessarily beer,
but it's called the Tour de Francia.
And it's where you get a bunch of bicycles
and you guys get a race going
and you start off with a little slap the sack
and then race bicycles. Make start off with a little slap the sack and then, and then race
bicycles, make sure everyone has a helmet on. Right. For safety. For safety. Yeah. Of
course. We're primed on that. What was on your list of games? The flip cups, the beer
pong, just your normal stuff. Beyond that, we really haven't landed out
much because we've been pressed for time.
I mean, are you guys sound busier than the president of the United States? What are you
guys so busy with?
Well, he's a farmer. He's got another gig. What's your job? I work for the township assessor's office,
so we value properties to let the county know how much taxes to charge you for your house.
Oh, man. So you're doing the devil's work is what it sounds like.
Yeah, it's not real popular.
Maybe that's why she wants to have a joint bachelor and bachelorette party, uh,
is because she's worried that some of her friends won't show up cause she tax
assess them the wrong way.
Oh, there is a drinking game right there. You just bring your work to it.
Have a little slide show and tell them what they would put as the old tax bill on
it. That could be great.
You go and hey, combine your work with the drinking games. You know, what, what is your
husband have to do on the farm at the time of this deal?
They will be probably getting ready to start harvest, working on the combines and getting
the semis ready for falling and combines and drinkings. Those don't combine well, I'll tell you that much.
Yeah, but they got maintenance to do.
So power tools and drinking always mixes.
Yeah, depending on the power tool.
Or you could have them, you know, do it the old fashioned way.
Get a get old fashioned farming right there.
There you go. Get yourself one of those
old horse harvesters, you know.
And what are they going to do?
It's going to harvest land with a horse.
Yeah. Well, it's who can do the most in a certain time.
OK, yeah. I mean, that sounds like fun.
And you're getting some work done on the farm.
Yeah, I mean, they got ten thousand acres, so that would take a while
if we had to do that. Oh, there you go 10,000 acres. So that would take a while if we had
to do that. Oh, there you go. Just take all the work that you guys are busy. You're trying
to get your work done and just, you're also trying to have a party combine them and make
everyone to work. Yeah. If you say the work is fun, they'll think it like my dad thinks
that's fun. So someone's got to, yeah. I know it's not a bad idea right there. Yeah, my dad thinks that's fun. So someone's got to. Yeah.
It's not a bad idea right there. Well, we gave you some options. What do you think?
I think that was great advice.
I think I have all the information I need to plan this thing out and do it right.
OK, OK. Well, we helped another person.
Charlie. Yeah. You know, I think we at least threw some ideas in there.
Got that got the brainstorming to start.
Oh, do you have fireworks already locked and loaded?
We don't, but we can get them.
Yeah, I think you should get some fireworks and drinking Maxwell.
And yeah, and then play the game.
Who's the first to have to go to the emergency room? Yeah. Roman Candle Wars. That could be well. Yeah. And then play the game. Who's the first to have to go to the emergency room?
Yeah. Roman Candle Wars.
That could be fun. Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.
Bottle rocket tag. Yeah.
You guys finish your bottles.
Those are the launchers for the bottle rockets and then a little tag.
You'll know who's it.
There will be tears.
It's like flashlight tag, but
upgraded. Yeah. Just like exactly. That's perfect. All right. Well, yeah. Well, we appreciate
you calling in today. Congrats on getting married. Good luck at the party and a gold
pack. Go heck of a wedding. Yeah. Gold packers. Fuck the bears. Hell yeah. That's what I'm
talking about. Well, thank you so much for calling Yeah. Go Packers. Fuck the bears. Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking
about. Well, thank you so much for calling in. Thanks for answering. You betcha. We'll
talk soon now. All right. Well, Charlie, another good episode in the books and fella. We got
it in there. My guy, you know, I feel what would you do if you showed up to a bachelor
party and they said, Hey, we're plowing fields with horses. I'd be like, Oh, I just forgot. I got, um, Hey mom, what's, what's
going on? Oh yeah. No, I'll be right over there. Sorry guys. My mom needs me to go pick
up some oranges from the grocery store. I'll see you at the wedding. It's at Lambeau, right?
You should go at the wedding. It's at Lambeau, right? You should go to the wedding. Labor
day weekend. I think I got a show. Labor day weekend stuff. Yeah, that is a cool ass place.
Any other weekend we could have been there, Charlie. Any other one. Well guys, thanks
for tuning into another episode of the, of the bellied up podcast. Did you almost call
it the you betcha radio? Yes I did belly it up podcast.
Always tip your bartender and we will see you in the next one.