Bellied Up - Midwest Identity Crisis #93

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

The first caller is teaching her son how to drive and needs some tips. also, the caller is worried about committing the ultimate Midwest sin. The next caller gives us a Bellied Update on their stolen dirt bike (Episode 72). The last caller is a Wisconsin gal who has two simple questions: 'How do you take care of a flannel?' and 'What's the best chili recipe?'" Get yourself a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Myles' other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Betcha Radio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Charlie's other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Cripescast

I hey, everybody. How you doing? It's a new episode of the Bellied Up podcast, and we're just so happy you're here. My buddy, Miles, who co-hosts this podcast with me, I'm the main host, but he's my co-host. He's celebrating a one year anniversary. He got married for one year ago. Yeah. And Miles, how's it going so far? It's still going, which is I think the goal. Yeah, that's

still married. Yeah, still married. That that is the goal. Some of us succeed. Others don't. Yeah. But yeah, what's been the best part and what's been the hardest part? I mean, it's probably good, but I don't think there's really been any hard parts. Hmm. The hard. Well, the hardest part, I wouldn't say it's hard, but the hardest part is figuring out the whole holiday schedule with the families. Now, is that different from them when you were like fiance? Not in the last couple of years, but we're just still figuring it out. You know, how do you go? And then, you know, in a few months are going to have a kid and then that's going to throw a whole nother wrinkle into the mix.

And so, yeah, because you know, both sets of parents, grandparents are going to want to see the kid first thing Christmas morning. Whose house are you going to go to? Because you know, that says something about who you love more. I know. And I got to navigate it. Not looking forward to that. But I suppose if that's the hardest thing right now, I think it's going pretty good. That's good. Does Ann still like you? Well, that's not what it's about anymore. It's about, can Ann still tolerate me? And the answer? So far so good.

Yeah. Yeah. Are you going anywhere for your anniversary? Are you, cause you guys, we actually will be on vacation in California. Well, actually we just got back. Oh no, we're currently there. You're currently there. So we are recording this ahead of time. So I am assuming that we are still married the time that this comes out. Yeah. So otherwise we're gonna have to edit around this pretty heavily. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, currently we are in California. I'm golfing. We're going out to dinner and all that stuff. Cool. Is Ann gonna golf pregnant you think? I don't know. Okay. I never know what she's gonna do. Okay. Well, that's good. What's been the best part, Miles, about about your marriage?

We're having a kid. That's the best part. Well, that's great. I'm very excited for you. And I still haven't gotten my letter in the mail about being the godfather, but I'll just assume that I should plan a trip to Florida. If you were going to get one, it wouldn't be in the mail, and it wouldn't be over the phone. What I'd do is I would send you a Christmas gram. Oh nice. Well Christmas. I'd send an elf over your house. He's got a single little jingle revealing that. That'd be cool man. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah. That'll be really nice to find someone who's willing to do it in June. But yeah, I can get it done. Yeah, the elves are, they've migrated north for the summer. Yeah, it's usually their busy time as well.

They got a lot to do before December. Yeah, yeah. Well, I won't hold my breath. What advice do you have, Miles, for the single folks out there trying to make a marriage as successful as yours? I truly believe this. This is not funny advice. This is real. Okay.

There's just not a lot of stuff that happens in a marriage that you need to stick to your guns too heavily on. Okay. What I mean by that is at the end of the day, you gotta, if you're getting upset about something you really gotta look and go is this really worth getting that upset about? Yeah and and is the thing you're upset about the root issue or is it is it sort of a proxy war for your real issue? Yeah or or it's instead of going hey this is they're doing this and it's annoying me, you got to in the moment go, well, is it because I'm hungry?

Is it because I'm sleep deprived? Is it because of something that happened at work that I'm taking this out on my wife? And then from there, if all those are no and it's still a problem, then maybe you make a fuss about it. But if you can't get past that checklist, it's probably your fault, not hers. Miles, you've matured a lot since I met you. You really have. It's been fun to watch you grow up.

And it's really fun to be able to learn from others' mistakes, Riley. So I appreciate that. Okay, that was a fake laugh. I'm crying inside. I knew that was coming. Here I have a nice interview with you, Miles, about how great your marriage is. And what do you do? You stick it to your buddy, Charlie.

I know. And on top of that, you don't make me the godfather. And I know that there's a whole audience. People listen to this. I get annoyed that I do that. And I'm sorry. That's my last time for a while. By a while, he means two callers. No, I won't bring it up the rest of the episode, I promise. Let me see your fingers. You crossing your toes?

Nope. Your balls? You got torsion going on down there? Maybe. Mmm, anyways. Speaking of the call, should we get into them? Let's do some calls, Miles. Howdy ho, you're on the Bellied Up podcast.

Who's this? Oh hi, this is Annika. Hidy ho. You're on the Belly to Podcast. Who's this? Oh, hi. This is Annika. Hi, Annika. Where are you? Where are you calling him from? I am in DeForest, Wisconsin. Oh, DeForest. Pinky the elephant, right? Yeah, Pinky. Yep.

There's a big cow on the other side of the interstate, too. Oh, yeah, sure is. Yeah, right over by that cheese place, right? Yeah. What's that cheese place called again? I think it's Ellenbox. Ellenbox. Yeah, I stopped in there not too long ago.

Great cheese, Miles. If you're going over there, I'll find 94 just past Masset. Right, is it? No, it's not 94. Wait, is it? No, that's where you take the turn right there. What's that?

That's right. Well, you're thinking of Detri, not DeForest. No, I'm thinking of DeForest. Well, DeTri's- Yeah, and from the interstate, you can't see DeForest through DeTrees. Oh, I forget that, Miles. I forget. Anyways, I already got off track here. It happens, Annika. But why don't you belly up to the bar with us and maybe we'll see DeForest through DeTrees.

Sure. I'm calling for your advice. You were both once upon a time, young men learning how to drive. My son is going to be 15 this spring, so I'll be able to start teaching him how to drive. And I'm wondering what kind of advice you might have for me. So glad you called. You came to the right place. You did. You really did. Well, Charlie, what do you say? Well, I-

These are the top things someone who's learning how to drive in the Midwest should know. First and foremost, let's talk about the snow. It's slippery out there in the winter and when it comes to the freezing point, you gotta let your son know, you gotta drive slow enough that the person in the shotgun seat could fill a walleye and not give themselves an accidental circumcision.

Boom. Second, second piece of advice miles go. If you're coming to a four way stop in the Midwest, you're going to need to get that old army years warmed up because there's going to be a lot of waving. There's going to be a lot of, uh, Hey, you go ahead. No, you go ahead. No, I got all day. You go ahead and you're going to need to teach them those lines. And there may be a flash card of these. Maybe do a couple of flash cards like no, you go ahead with some

other ones that could do Charlie. I insist. I insist after you. And, and remember at a four way stop, it's B G O brake gas, O break gas. Oh, because the other person at the four way stop is going to be insisting you go and there's going to be some confusion. So you break first, let them go. If they let you go, it's a little bit of gas, but then they're going because they thought you gave them the go-ahead, which of course you did. So that's when it's open, it's back on the brake pedal. So break, gas, ope, okay? And have him repeat that back to you so he knows. Another thing I'm gonna say is bridges get icy. And so anytime you're going over a bridge, even if it's summer,

you go with caution because you never know that bridge could be icy. That's the first place ice forms and a Midwest summer is known to have a little bit of ice yet Especially if the winter was bad. I think the other thing you got to keep in mind Is you got to be prepped for any scenario? You need to make sure that that car of his is all loaded up with the essentials. Yes. Yes Absolutely like snacks snacks Yes, absolutely. Like snacks, snacks, two ice scrapers, one for the ice on the windshield and another for the deer. If you hit one, you got to scrape them out the grill a little bit. You're going to need some jumper cables because it's cold out there and batteries

don't love the cold so much. And if their battery is good, someone else's isn't. And you don't want to be the person that doesn't have the jumper cables to help your buddy out. And you also want to have a box of used car parts. Cause if there's one thing I know about the Midwest, if you see a car broke down on the side road, you got to stop and you gotta, you gotta be prepared with tools and a possible extra carburetor in there if they need that replaced. OK. And and also a couple of spares, you know, it's typical to have one spare in the car.

But these days, they're selling cars without spares. Can you believe it? So you want to go out with at least a few spares in your car at any given time. And to expand on the the snacks part, you got to have a shovel, probably some cheese curds in there as well, because you don't want to have to get into a shovel yourself or a neighbor out situation on an empty stomach. Absolutely not.

Speaking of which, the sunglasses holder is not a sunglasses holder. That's a bra holder. So you put holder, that's a brot holder. So you put your brot in there and the glove box, we, you know, gloves, yeah, I mean, fine, but that's where you need to have your buck knife. Because if you hit a deer, we are not letting that fresh meat go without a freezer. So does your son know how to field dress a deer?

No, he doesn't. Oh my gosh. Then we're going to have to teach him that as well. Miles, give the quick rundown. You start at the pecker. Go from there, Miles. I usually start up by the sternum. Well, you got to find the you start at the sternum. And then cut down towards the pecker. Do you really?

I was taught. Yeah. Really? I'm starting around the pecker this whole time. But at some point, you're going to tell him he's got to grab him by the balls, though. Yeah, there's just no there's no getting around that. I got to try starting at the sternum. I've never done that. I don't know if it's right or wrong. That's what I was taught. Good for you. Good for you. So there's many ways to skin a buck.

Anyways, beyond that, I think that the most important thing is that your son always has to have his eyes peeled, not just for extra cars on the road, but for animals. A deer, obviously. And I know you're gonna tell him to watch out for deer because you love your son. But if he sees turkeys, he's got any wildlife he sees, you gotta say, oh, there's a him any wildlife he sees you got to say

Oh, there's a turkey or if you see a dead raccoon on the side of the road Oh, there's a raccoon because everybody wants I mean when you're driving through the Midwest It's like going through a zoo, you know, and you want to note the animals you see turkeys You want to take note if it's private land public land If they were Tom's Jake's hens it was, because come the springtime, you know, that's a fair game. Yeah, you're going to need to have like a field notes book to mark down any potential hunting spots along the way.

Exactly. And if you do pass, if you pass some cows, you got to count the cows. You at least need to acknowledge that there are cows out there. That's true. Oh look, some cows. Yeah, and you know, he's young, so he should not be counting the cows while he's driving. He's gotta look out for deer, so. I mean, I think that's kinda had pretty minimal stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Do you guys have a AAA? Yeah. Do you guys have a triple A? Yeah. OK. You got to make sure he never uses that ever. I mean, he's really got to be in a big pickle because you only get three or four free visits from triple A and they should not be used because he's in a ditch. Speaking of which, he should have two two by fours on the deal at all times. Cause if you get stuck in a ditch,

he's gonna wanna dig out and put those two by fours to get traction on the front or on the back tires. If it's rear wheel drive, front tires, get a little traction going. So actually, if you, if you have extra roofing in your garage, some because because that's good traction. So you you'd nail those to the two by fours,

and that gives you nice traction to get out of any ditch. So he's not wasting your triple A calls. All right. Sounds like he's got some projects to put together before he hits the road. Sure does. And does he have you? Does he know I use a ratchet strap? He's helped his grandpa. Okay.

So he's, I don't know if he can do it on his own quite yet. Well, we're gonna, cause every time he takes the car out on the top of the roof, you gotta have the two by fours and the extra spares. And he's got to strap it down and say, that's not going anywhere. And he, he, he cannot drive before he says that's not going anywhere. Otherwise that's like a seven years of driving.

Look. Yeah. Oh yeah. You know. Yep. Well, uh, we just threw a lot at you. Any questions? No, I think it sounds good. I'll just have to make him a

list of all the other things he's got to learn besides the rules of the road. Wow, those aren't as big of a deal as some of the stuff that we said, honestly. Yes, that's true. For the Midwest, you got to be prepared the right way. Yeah. Yeah. Just because you pass the DMV driver drivers test doesn't mean you're ready to drive in the Midwest. So any, any word of caution of the drivers from Chicago, Charlie? Oh, I'm so glad you brought this up. Oh my gosh. Now does he know about fibs?

He does. He's heard me make some comments about the fibs many times. Oh, you're a good mom. You're a good mom. So if he sees any folks with Illinois license plates, what he's gonna wanna do is pass them, they'll be in the fast lane.

So the only time he should be speeding is when he's speeding past a fib, get into the fast lane and then slow it down to 55 because those fibs got to learn how to slow down and unfortunately your son's gonna have to be the one to teach him, you know. Okay. All right. I'll tell him no pressure but... Yeah, no pressure. It is an advanced move so you know I would say about a month after his temps That's when he can do that

Sure. Mm-hmm Well good. All right. Yeah One other thing I want to throw in is if he's on any sort of gravel He's got to be waving at everyone. He's going by it's a good rule of thumb always to just wave at everyone He drives by. But if you aren't waving on a gravel road, that is like Cardinal Sid number one. So, oh, yeah, he knows that one, too. Well, go up to see my mom.

We see everyone waving. Yeah. Yep. And also, you know, come deer season, if he sees a nice buck on the back of someone's truck, he's gotta zoom up to him, give a wave and say, hey, nice 12 pointer. And you know, he knows how to count the points on a buck pretty good, doesn't he?

Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, you know, you've really laid a good base layer for his driving and we're happy to see it. All right. Well, you know, you've really laid a good base layer for his driving and we're happy to see it. We are. Well, that sounds good. Yeah. Any, any, Oh yeah, go ahead. No. Well, I had one other thing that's not related to the driving. Sure. It kind of put me in a

Midwest identity crisis. I went to my bag of bags the other day and it was empty and I didn't know what to do with that. Wow. Wow. Well, I've never seen that happen. I'm going to say this is uncharted territory for me. I don't think I've ever seen the bottom of a bag of bags. Neither have I. I didn't know it existed. I know. Have you? What do you think happened? I think my son took the last bag when he was doing the trash and didn't say anything. And I've been using reusable bags at the grocery store. So I'm not getting piles of the plastic bags. Oh, wow. And I just didn't keep up. You know, I gotta say, I gotta say that it's not the worst thing. I was reading this article in the newspaper that there's so much plastic

out there. And they photo degrade from the sun and then we're all just ingesting this plastic. We ingest, now this goes to the bag just ingesting this plastic we ingest now this goes to the bag of bags every year we ingest a bag of bags inside us can you believe that not really no it's true it's true so anyways you guys are doing good by reusing those bags of bags and it's it's fine miles has taking a big deep breath because he hates it when I start talking like a hippie. But I'm going to I'm going to do it because I'm worried about my Midwest card has not been revoked is what you're saying. It's not revoked.

No, I wouldn't say that. It's actually this maybe is a good call to action. Maybe we need a bag of bags program now that we're trying to save on plastic bags. There's a lot of people out there that have, let's say they have a bag of bags with 100 bags in there, Charlie. They could spare 20. True, true. We're going to start doing a bag of bags exchange program, maybe a dump off center.

And you can donate your bags if you got too many. And if you don't have enough because you've been reusing them, you can take them from them. And the other thing I'll say, you guys could make a, you make a bellied up bag center. Yeah, it's kind of like the little free libraries that you see around, but just for bags and bags. Yeah. We honestly could partner with the little free libraries and just put a little canister on next to them. Yeah. Take a bag, leave a bag. Yeah, that's good. It's actually kind of a good idea. Yeah. Maybe we can have it at our singles meetups too. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's good. Are you saving your bread bags too, by the way? Yeah. We don't go through that many of those. Yeah. I save them when we got them. Well, put some bread bags in the car too, because you never know if you get stuck out there when it gets cold, you can wrap your socks and those add a little extra heat to the feet. So,

Oh yeah. Although he doesn't have to wear the moon boots. Like when I was a kid that got soaking wet anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those. Well, we appreciate you calling in. We're excited for you. This is a fun time. I feel like in parenthood also a little scary time. So you got to make sure he's prepared for any situation. Well, I appreciate your advice. All right. Thanks for calling in. Tell Pinky the elephant we says hi. I will be careful on those roads.

All right. You too. Bye bye now. Bag of bags exchange actually could be something, Charlie. It could. I mean, that could be the thing that really takes us off to the next level. Yeah. You know, you kind of hit both worlds to all the hippies are happy that bags aren't going in the dumpster. They're getting reused. And all the other people are just excited to make sure that they have their bag

of bags full of full stash of bag of bags. I mean, I right now, I've got three bags of bags and they're monster bags. Yeah Yeah, I mean I I could I could give some of those way happily. So let's do that We should set that up So we take another caller in the meantime. Let's do it pal. Welcome to the belly to podcast who we chit chat with right now Hello, my name is Megan Megan. How are you doing? Hello, my name is Megan. Megan, how are you doing? Oh, I'm doing alright.

Just woke up, made some breakfast. Oh, good for you. Belly on up to the bar and tell us what's on your mind. Yeah, well, I actually called you guys a couple months ago about my dirt bike being stolen. Oh yeah. And one of you guys an update. We got a get an update. We got a bellied update.

Yeah. Okay, well let's first refresh the listeners on what happened and then we can dive into it. Yeah, so I had just moved to Seattle and we had bought like the street legal dirt bike and it got stolen out of my front yard and we never found it surprisingly. Oh no. We gave you guys some advice though on how to maybe catch the person right? Did you try any of that? And we followed everything to a tee but sadly

We followed everything to a tee, but sadly we got outsmarted. Even the cardboard cutout of one? Well, yeah. And I even, yeah, actually. We told you to make a life-size squirrel trap, right? And put the cardboard cutout under the box with the stick and then you pull the rope and that didn't work. Well, they never came back. Geez.

These criminals are getting really smart. Yeah, what the hell? Yeah. I guess we got up our game, Charlie. I guess so. That used to work. Well, so we had gone on like a couple of Facebook pages and we got a couple of leads from like these homeless encampments.

And so we spent days driving around the whole city trying to look for it. But it's a goner. Okay. Well, are you going to get another one? No. So we actually just moved to Colorado, so probably don't want a dirt bike in winter. Could put some chains on that. Yeah, could be a snow bike pretty easily.

Yeah, it could. It might be a little cold for that. Don't you think? No. No, I'll be just wear some mittens Yeah Well, we we still have a little PTSD from it, so we might wait a little bit before we get another one Well, we're sorry you didn't find your bike. That's a bummer. How's Colorado treating you guys? Oh It's good. Um, I haven't been back here for like four years, like all my family's out here.

Um, so that's been nice, but this weekend went up to the mountains with my family. And then, um, my windshield wiper fluid froze and didn't even think coming back to Colorado, you know, you have to get the antifreeze. So it took me what was supposed to be a two hour drive home, turned into like a five, six hour drive home. Because of the windshield wiper fluid. Yeah, because it was snowing and then like all the dirt and like the slush was getting up on my windshield and I couldn't clean it. Now did your wiper fluid freeze or did you just get a little ice chunk in front of the dispenser on the top of your car there? No, like the whole entire thing froze.

Oh wow. I guess I wouldn't even think of that as a problem, because you just always have the antifreeze. In the deal. Yeah, I just would never even notice. Know that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know that I've encountered that myself. Well, so you're in Colorado. So imagine you own a pair of snow goggles.

No, actually, I don't. It's been a while since I've been like no boarding. Well, if the, in case that happens again, when you forget to put the antifreeze in there, you got to make sure you have a pair of goggles and you got to do the ACE Ventura. Just stick that head out the window and you should be good. Yeah. Yeah. No kidding. Well, so cause like I've lived, let's see, I was in like Virginia Beach, Texas, Minnesota, and then Seattle. And so a lot of those places don't, well, Minnesota, I was there during the summer, winter time, I'm sure it's very different, but don't see a lot of

snow. So I didn't even think to do that antifreeze. And so yeah, it was a big problem. It was a very small problem that turned into a very big problem. But yeah, we're good now. Well, good. It's a good life lesson and a good PSA for anyone out there.

Yeah, no kidding. We just had a woman calling. She's got her son starting to drive. So, you know, hopefully she's got her son starting to drive so you know hopefully she's listening to this call too and knows get the antifreeze in the in the windshield wiper fluid. Yeah that was not fun. Yeah. Just having bike problems and car problems. What other problems you got right now? I'm living in my grandparents' house right now, which is very interesting. I actually, this was another problem that I had. So I

had a Christmas ugly sweater party when I first got here. And I found in my grandparents' pantry what looked to be like a mini fridge. So I stocked that thing with beer and with seltzers. You know, I was good to go. And then a couple hours later, I opened to get one and they're all frozen. We were having like beer slushies and seltzer slushies. And so I'm like, okay, well, maybe I just need to to turn the temperature down another couple hours later. They're like frozen solid turns out. It was a mini freezer, which I have never personally encountered. Really? Was it like

the top flipped open? No, it looked exactly like a mini fridge, but it was a freezer. So nothing in your head when they turned to slush, were you thinking like there was no alarm that was like, maybe this is a freezer? Well, so the thing is really old. So I didn't even know nobody's lived in this house for like two years. So I didn't even know nobody's lived in this house for like two years, so I didn't even know if the things still work So when I plugged it in I turned it all the way up to like the coldest settings. Yeah I just thought I was like maybe it's too cold

so I turned it down and I like Kind of left the door open a little bit too to let the colder air out and no it was a freezer I just I've never seen a mini freezer that looks like a mini fridge. I've never seen that either. Now some might say same solution to your windshield wiper problem at just add some antifreeze to your drinks but I gotta warn all of you that is poison so don't do that don't go mix an antifreeze. That is not an official advice from us. No, much the opposite. So you're living with... I don't recommend that. No, neither do we. So you're living with your grandma. Well my grandparents aren't living in this house, so it's just me

and then my boyfriend part time who commutes to D.C. half the time. He's your part time boyfriend or your boyfriend who has a part time job. No, no, he's my boyfriend, but he has a place still in D.C. that he commutes to every now and then.

Okay, so just a quick little trip to DC every now and again. He must be putting a lot of miles on the car. No, well actually, so he's one of my brother's like best friends and my brother works for United, so he gets to choose a couple of people to put on his buddy pass, so he actually flies for free. Oh, fancy. Well, hey. Hey, Louise. I got a question.

What did your brother think about his best buddy dating his sister when you guys first started off? He wasn't too stoked about it at first, obviously, but I think he kind of realized it was bound to happen. But like before him and I like out of respect for my brother, before him and I actually started hanging out, I was like, hey, we need to talk to him, make sure he's okay with this because I don't want to step on his toes and so we talked to him and he gave us the green light he likes to give a shit every now

and then for it just because he's my brother but he's out I feel like he likes it yeah I mean I wouldn't want to piss your brother off if he's a he's a pilot you said right well here's I may be starting to connect some dots here Charlie. Yeah Stick with me. This is Yeah, so there's that part but I'm gonna put my Conspiracy theory hat on okay. I like it when you do that you know how they say when a Woman gets murdered. It's usually the husband who murdered her.

Yeah. Well, I also heard that when dirt bikes get stolen, it's usually someone close to the person who owns the dirt bike. What if that's your brother's way of getting back at you guys for not being as happy about you dating his best friend? Did you check his garage for the dirt bike? Well, you know, when we were in Seattle, he was still here in Colorado. That's what he wants you to think. Does he have access to a plane?

Yeah, if only he worked for an airline and he could get cheap flights. And also he can check that luggage pretty easily. You know, I could see him just riding that dirt bike into the back of the the old Delta plane and then hopping in the cockpit and rocking and rolling. Yeah, well, I mean, I guess that's a but, you know, when he said he came to Seattle to visit us, like probably a couple of weeks after he was like, Oh yeah, we're going to find this thing. Like let's like he was so all for going out and looking for it.

So maybe that was a decoy trying to. Yeah. Did he perhaps take you off the the road that you should have gone down? And by road, I mean, sky. I didn't think about that till now. Yeah, I think it's time you and your boyfriend sat down with your brother and had a real honest conversation. No, I don't think he would do that. That's what he wants. This is the perfect crime.

Revenge is best served cold. Maybe he was trying to distract you with taking out the antifreeze in your washer fluid. I think that you might need to go contact the local police department about your pilot brother. Seems he's trying to get some weird things to fly over there in Colorado. And I'm not happy about it. Here's probably the one that switched my mini fridge with a freaking freezer. That's true. We are noticing a pattern. Yeah. I just, I was thinking there's just,

it's too much strange stuff that's happened to you lately. For it to not be a conspiracy. So we're gonna have to do some research for the conspiracy. And yeah, you live in Colorado. So that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You live in Colorado. So that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Well, Charlie, I think we gave her something to think about. Yep. We, another, another mystery solved here on the bellied up podcast. You can thank us later. Oh, I will be. All right. Well, thanks for calling in again. It was a good belly to update. Sad. We couldn't find your dirt bike, but maybe we did. Maybe we did. I'll keep you guys updated. All right. All right. Thanks for calling in again. We'll see you soon. All right. Thanks guys. Yeah. Tell you folks. I don't think it was the brother. I just kind of wanted to maybe make her go down

a wild goose chase. Oh, I think it was the brother. I just kind of wanted to give me a good maker going on a wild goose chase Oh, I think it was the brother. Really? Yeah, you convinced me Then I did my job. Maybe I'm in cahoots Yeah, I Think I bet you you know I've been great if we would have actually found like cuz that person that stole it would have sold it and we would have found It and then that would have been so cool been like we have it We should have real and we want money for it. We need a we need a private investigator on the payroll for this show

Okay, I've always been looking for a reason to get a PI. I don't love a PI What would we do with them what we send them out on these we have we have a lot of callers that could use a PI what would we do with them what we send them out on these we have we have a lot of callers that could use a PI that's true we just need a PI I'm retainer all right if you guys are a PI looking for some a retainer work you give us a call very much so we'll pay per thing that like if you find that dirt bike will pay well, we need a mission. We need a bounty hunter Yeah, put a bounty on it Yeah, all right. No caller Charlie sure Charlie my what I love about the Nicolay law office the billboards the billboards is one

Yeah, the beard and two they are they are regular folks like you and I, yeah, they are. And they aren't going to be a snooty lawyer. They're not going to give fill you full of jargon. They're just going to shoot you straight. Probably want to have a beer with you afterwards. And that's the type of people that I'm looking for to do business with. I want a lawyer where I walk into their law offices And it's like one of them nice haircut in places where they got a fridge with beer in it And it's like have a beer while I cut your hair. They'll give you a beer while they do your stuff I don't know if that's true, but I you know, it could be true, you know, and that's my legal Jargon in this advertisement because if it's not true it's my fault

but I bet you they probably got a fridge there with some beer somewhere in that office there's beer we know for sure now whether you're getting that or not well I guess that depends how bad your injury is so if you're injured give Nikole a call one eight five five Nicolette yeah yeah I say Nicolet a call. 1-855-NICOLET. Yeah. Yeah. I say Nicolet because some people only, if some people see a T, they're pronouncing the T. So for them folks, there you have it.

All right. Welcome to the Bellied Up Podcast. Who are we talking to? Hey, this is Kelly. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. What are you up to? I'm just getting ready to head out to work pretty soon. Where are you working?

You caught me right before I'm heading out. I bartend out here in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. Okay. Well, you're doing God's work in Fondy. Fondy. What bar are you doing over there in Fondy? What's your bar? The main pub right on Main Street here in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin.

Oh, sure. Double bubble every day. Oh, double tap it. There you go. Hey, my grandma Sue's over there in Fondy, my Aunt Mary. So I'm there quite a bit, actually. I got to stop by and say hi. And yeah, the shake for some shots. my Aunt Mary, so I'm there quite a bit actually. I gotta stop by and say hi. Wanna come down and, yep, shake for some shots. Oh, I'd love to shake for some shots with ya. Well, why don't you belly up to our bar

before you go to your bar and tell us what's on your mind. Well, I had just a couple questions. I figured that you're probably a pro when it comes to, how do I take care of my flannels for the longevity of a good flannel? You know, I buy my flannels, most of them are from Duluth Trading. I usually don't get them full price,

but you know, they're usually on sale, but that's a pretty penny. And you know you don't want to mess them up in the wash or the dryer. So what, so how do you, what's your recommendations for keeping a flannel for the long run? Well, it's very fitting because Charlie right now is wearing his flannel Stormy Kromer. I am. And so Charlie, why don't you start her off? So here's what I like to do with flannels. First of all, a good flannel is going to withstand any washing machine, dryer, whatnot. OK.

And I know this because I put zero thought into my washing of any clothes I have. And a lot of my T-shirts shrink. The one I'm currently wearing was a little bit bigger. I haven't quite figured that out yet. I hear you're supposed to put it on cold. I try cold, they still shrink, I don't know. But the flannels never shrink.

I mean, a good flannel you can do anything with and it's not gonna go bad. If the flannel's going bad, you got the wrong flannel. What I like to do, honestly, when I'm getting myself a flannel is going bad, you got the wrong flannel. What I like to do, honestly, when I'm getting myself a flannel, I go over to Goodwill and you can see the wornness of the flannel, the more worn ones, you know, that's gonna be a, that's probably,

that's a sign of longevity. It's not a bad thing and they're broken in. You know, it's like a saddle. You gotta break that sucker in and so I'd get a nice broken in. It's like a saddle, you gotta break that sucker in. And so I'd get a nice broken in flannel. You're not gonna need to worry about what you do with it, but you really wanna hang it in a place of honor

in your closet because that flannel is a living, breathing thing. And it knows that if you're just being disrespectful to it, it will be disrespectful to you. So those are my initial thoughts. Miles is over here giggling like an asshole cause he doesn't like my advice. So I would-

I know, I know. I just didn't know where you were going. I disagree with you a little bit, Farley. Oh, you disagree with me. Okay, well, you know what? I say, don't put them in the dryer. Don't dry your flannel. I like okay, because I usually only wear my flannels over a band t-shirt or a tie-dye. So they're not getting like too cruddy. You know what I mean? I definitely I think you better breathe. Oh for breeze

Febreze Get the Bonfire smell out of them. Usually the only time that I wash wash my flannels is if I got like Crud on it like puke or like dirt or something like that. Otherwise, usually Fabrizio basically take care of the bonfire and the beer smell. You can be honest with us.

You said you're wearing them over a tie-dye shirt. We know that your flannels smell like weed. Okay. We know. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. So now we found the real issue. How do you get your flannels to not smell like dope? And aside for don't do the dope,

Febreze actually sounds like a good one. And you know what? I like what you're saying about the don't wash it. I really rarely wash my flannels anyway. So that's fantastic. Most of the stuff I wash has direct contact with my armpits. So and flannels often don't. Miles, you haven't talked in a while. Yes. I just wanted to observe what you guys are talking about. I think that you are wrong,

Charlie. You don't, you don't ever want to dry your flannel. It's a recipe for disaster. I've never heard that you're actually really shouldn't be drying any of your clothes, even though I do. Yeah. You know, if you had a nice piece of clothing, maybe a Carhartt sweatshirt or some, you don't want to throw that in the dryer first off. OK, number two is I think you hit the nail on the head. Actually, kind of like jeans. You don't want to wash them as much.

And I agree with you on that. I view a nice flannel as a genuine piece of leather. It's gonna wear in, it's not gonna wear out. Wow. This is a call where I am learning something. And I appreciate both of you guys on enlighten me on this I gotta take better care of my flannels and by take better care. I mean care less about exactly It's kind of a situation

Charmin ultra toilet paper less is more Wow very profound toilet paper. Less is more. Wow. Very profound. Now like that, are you getting puke on your flannels because of patrons or is that you? I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I turn into Pukey McGee. Okay. You know, because when you're shaking for shafts as a bartender, you know, sometimes those patrons are calling shots that you normally wouldn't take, you know? Yeah. We've talked about this before. The cowl. What's the worst shot? What's the worst shot? The shot you you never want to take. Mallory, Mallory. Oh, yeah.

Is there a video online of you taking a mall or shot and looking dead on the inside after I put it on my story? Oh, my. That's the worst. That's all that's disgusting. I can do tequila. I can do rail gin, but my Lord, yeah. Keep that down in Chicago. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're on the right track. I think the best way to keep them good is to wear them. Don't wash them unless you absolutely have to. And I think they're gonna wear in and not wear out. Yep. And another question for you guys.

So it's coming up on the Sturgeon Spectacular here in Final Act coming up and we got the chili cook off coming up. Now I'm entering this year as a home cook two years before prior I not these well two years in a row but then not the last two years so it was 2019 and 2021 because COVID messed it up a little bit for 2020, but I won the surgeon spectacular chili cook-off in the restaurant category. And now that I'm doing the home cook category. So I was wondering if you guys had any chili cook-off advice or maybe just your views about

what makes a good Midwest chili a good chili. Okay. Before we answer it. Yeah. Congratulations. Not to brag. And two nice way to brag about yourself by acting all humble and being like, do you guys have any advice? You're looking at two guys that don't even know how to work an oven correctly. You're going to take food advice from us from a cook cookoff champion. I don't think that's going to happen. You might as well have said, Hey guys, I won my first Oscar. Well, two Oscars, 2019 and 2021. They didn't hold the Oscars in 2020 because of COVID, but how can I win my third Oscar? Yeah. You guys got any acting advice? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know what,

what I will say with chili, uh, I eat it all and I can't really taste, um, you know, everything I eat, I kind of taste pretty good to me. So I'm not a picky eater. You don't use that noodles or beans? Oh, I throw the noodles in. No, no noodles. I'll do it all. I'll do noodles, beans. I like it spicy. That's what I like. The only thing that I care about with a nice chili is does it make my nose run?

Yeah. If it can make my nose run, I'm all for it. Yeah, because the the the the nasal drip actually releases some flavor in the chili. Yeah. So as soon as just a scotious snot hits that chili, it just it's like salt. It opens up the flavor profile. A little sodium. Yep. So you get you get that that spice in there. How are you spicing up your chili? What what are you cutting pepper, jalapeno secret ingredient?

I'm just asking her for some tips, Miles, and she would have given the secret ingredient had you not called it out like that. Well, usually I make my own chili powders or like I buy my own like dried chilies and process my own dried chilies. So I like to use ancho chilies. I'm gonna say all these the names I can I know I can say ancho right but all these other Mexican named chilies I'm gonna say wrong but uh gaihero chilies, I'm going to say wrong, but, uh, guy hero chilies. Um, yeah. Hatch chilies, um, poblanos, serranos. Um, I just want to say I prefer my Billy with pork.

I like pork shoulder and braised. So it's not ground, but I make a meaty chili. Oh yeah. You're speaking my language. I know. Braised with beer. I'm hungry. Braised in beer for the long haul. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. There's no, there's no doubt in our mind why you won that cook off. You are speaking our language. As an expert in the chili world, I got to ask you, this seems to be not as common as I thought. So when I grew up, we'd have chili and we'd have cinnamon rolls with it.

What are your stances as a chili cook-off champ pairing chili with a cinnamon roll? So I get the whole sweet and spicy, salty, like chili combination. I have friends that also put it over chocolate cake. I've heard that I've heard peanut butter sandwiches. I am not a big sweet tooth person. So I like with my chili. I like a grilled Limburger and onion on rice sandwich. Okay.

Because I'm from Wisconsin. Yeah. Just something simple like that. Yeah. I like the rye inclusion. So back to your original question about the cook off. Yeah. What does it, Limburger cheese? Yeah. Mm hmm. Hey, I wanted to ask you, Miles. Well, I'm from I'm from I live in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin now.

But apparently you guys say everywhere I've lived is the Midwest, including Alaska. But I did grow up. I spent some years in Devil's Lake, North Dakota, my like middle school years. And are you familiar, Miles, with a North Dakota style caramel roll? Maybe, continue on. Maybe I don't even know. Maybe I just think that is. It's like a cinnamon roll, but it's covered in caramel.

Oh yeah. And like they're really popular in North Dakota. Like in North Dakota, like you would go to school and get breakfast. And one of the options was, is like, is a caramel roll. Yeah. And it's like a cinnamon roll, but it's covered in delicious caramel and they're ginormous. Yeah. So when I was in the cold is the only place. So when I was a kid, I used to know you're good. When I was a kid, I would go to work with my dad in the summer and we'd stop at a gas station called Stop and Go. They no longer are in business anymore,

and they would have the best big cinnamon caramel rolls and I would get one of those for breakfast. And so, yeah, I absolutely know my way around a cinnamon caramel roll. The cinnamon caramel roll from the stop and go. Yep. I don't think I've had myself a cinnamon caramel roll yet. And here we are in North Dakota. I feel like I got to try one today.

Yep. Well, if you're ever in Devil's Lake main street in doubles lake, there's this little diner and they got just this a case of like these caramel rolls about the size of your face. What's it called? And they serve them warm with butter on top. Are they the size of my face or Charlie's face? Cause I need to know how big this thing is. Probably Charlie's face. Okay. Who's got a bigger face? I definitely have the bigger face. Look at me. No, that's true. That's true. Um, you know, I got a big face when I stand face on with the mirror and I can't see my ears, you know, and Charlie doesn't even know what that's like. No, I

don't. What's the name of the diner in devil's lake that we can get that cinnamon or that caramel cinnamon roll at? Oh man. I, I can't remember. There's only really one diner. Okay. Yeah. Go to the diner and doubles like if you're interested. Yeah. I have one more question for you before we let you go to work. Is that cool? Okay. What's that? Okay. As someone who, who doesn't know a ton about chili, I want you to give me the, I want from a chili champ. I want to know the top three things that make a great chili. It's gotta be meaty. It's gotta have that flavor, the cumin.

Cumin is the spice. If you smell that, it smells like chili. Have you smelled? So it's kind of got like a smoke, yeah. So it's got to have meaty, cumin, and good peppers. Good peppers. All right. And where does one find good peppers? the garden, uh, either your local Mexican grocery store or the internet. I have some brands that I buy that I get, there's this one place that I get, get a chili powder, uh, from, uh, New Mexico online. And that's, it makes really good.

So a good quality chili pepper and meaty and smoky. Yep. Also in Wisconsin, That's what I'd say. You can grow some good peppers and just a secret, a little tip for everyone. This comes from my grandpa, Bob. You get yourself some sheep's head out of Winnebago

and you can clean them a little bit. And then with the fish guts, you know, whatever fish guts doesn't have to be sheephead. You bury them in your garden and that really makes the pumpkins grow and and the jalapenos. Well, I don't know if jalapenos really grow, but you can grow some nice, hot. I'm going to be honest with you.

Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you. If I'm growing stuff in my backyard, it's not going to be peppers. Oh, you're growing the weed. Oh, this comes back to the tie-dye shirt No, you're not. No, you're not. Next time I'm in Fond du Lac I'm gonna stick my sniffer out the window and see if I can smell your backyard That's why she's always got to be cooking chili to cover up the other smell that's true And now we know why she wants to wash her flannels Circle is what we call that Well, thanks so much for calling in to have a good day over at the bar. We hope you get tip big today

Okay, yeah, you guys have a good day. All right. You too. Now. Bye bye. What a good, good gal. I know she sounds like I want her to be my bartender. Seriously. And great energy keeps the keeps the party going. Yeah. I loved it. Yeah. Always has hooch on her. Um, I, I really, uh, I learned a lot in that. I know I didn't know about the flannel thing. I didn't know about the chilly deal. Kuman Kuman Kuman. Matter of fact, it goes down, Charlie. You want to head to Devil's Lake, a caramel cinnamon roll.

Yeah, all right. I hope there's someone at the door saying Kuman in Kuman. Yeah, well, anyway, we're done here, folks. Tried to get one last joke in and, you know, crash the plane. But it's been a pleasure having you here, Billy, up to the bar with us here at Woody's Bar and Grill in Fargo, North Dakota. Great vibes. Miles, it's been a pleasure. Maybe we should see if we can get some of these pull tabs to get us some money before we go. All right guys, well thanks for tuning in. As always, tip your bartender and we'll see you in the next one. See you next time.