Bellied Up - Mystery of the Midwest Basement #36
Episode Date: February 9, 2023Presented by Fleet Farm We're at the Nook in St. Paul, MN. First caller is a mother who wants to get her daughter into Deer Hunting, Myles and Charlie sing. Then next caller cleans basements and we as...k him what is the weirdest thing he's ever seen in his line of work.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back everybody the belly up podcast presented by flea farm is ready for another episode
We far we love it
Charlie hi miles. How you feeling today? Oh, I'm just
jipper and snipper chipper and snor put that on a shirt. Oh
Look at this. We're just starting miles. That's all right. Let's start this off on a better foot. Okay.
Remember what our therapist told us. Okay. Yes. You're right.
Yeah. If you have a problem with me,
you voice your concern not in passive aggressive way and off air.
Off air. We don't need to air out our dirty laundry for all our fans.
Well, we can have everyone think we're just all hunky-dory all the time, either.
Well, they know that every relationship comes with his ups and downs
and we don't need to make mountains out of Molle Hills.
Anyway, what's cooking miles?
Nice to see you.
You look real nice today.
Thank you very much.
You look hot too.
Thank you.
Do you moisturize?
Yeah, I did.
Why did you pause?
You don't believe me?
No, I believe you.
What'd you use?
It's a cream.
Yeah, it's a white cream that I use.
What's a pico? It was. I used to pico. I dumped it all over, wiped it in. Good to go.
And no more follow ups. What's going on? So it's super balls coming up here. What is it?
Yeah, this comes on Thursday. Super balls Sundays coming up. Yeah.
Charlie. Yeah. So I it's Charlie. Yeah.
So I got a question.
I imagine you don't go to that many cerebral parties anymore.
Do you not think I have friends?
What's going on?
No, no, it's just one to get older.
It's just like it almost feels better to just watch the game at home and order some food
by yourself.
Yeah, I suppose.
But if you are going to go to a Super Bowl party,
what is the biggest draw to go to a Super Bowl party?
Oh, simple. The square game.
I like to gamble, man. I love me some gambling.
I get that from my grandma Sue. She's never passed a slot machine.
She hasn't put some money into and I love myself some gambling. So yeah, all about the gambling. How about you?
For me
It's got to be a little crock pot meatballs
Rocky, you know little smokies are good to yeah, the little pot
We're just yeah, I just there's just something about the meat balls that I like. I don't like the weeners as much. I like the I like the balls.
Meat balls. We love them. So I'm a ball guy, not a weiner guy. Everyone knows that about
me. No, do you make? I'm going to skip over your sexual innuendo there to ask you what
you weren't making one? Okay.
All right.
My bad.
I'm sorry, Miles.
Meatballs and little smokies, baby.
Meatballs and little smokies.
Do you make your own meatballs?
No, I go to parties that have them.
I don't do that.
I don't.
You never offered to bring the meatballs.
No, I want the meatballs to be good.
I'm not going to be the one to bring them.
Okay.
Well, that's actually fair.
That's very fair.
Do you cook anything in a crock pot ever? I mean, me personally. Yeah, that was my family do that. Okay, we'll go with
your family since I can tell that that saying you personally would just end the conversation.
A lot of chilies, lots of soups, lots of, you know, once a while we'll do like a beer
chicken in there, the whole thing. So that's nice. So you're showing up to the Super Bowl deal for the food.
What if, what if there's a place that doesn't have good food,
but they have good people?
I mean, okay, that answers that question.
That would be your passing.
They're not that good of people if they don't got good food.
I'm saying so.
Well, and look at me, I didn't get here today by showing up for good food. Is all I'm saying. So, and look at me, I didn't, I didn't get here today
by showing up for good people. I mean, take one look at me and all that.
Uh, nice. Who's doing the halftime show this year? Who is it? We know. Is it Rihanna?
Oh, I love Rihanna. I'm not a hyper Rihanna. Rihanna celebrity crush. The way I've rated celebrity crush has been for a decade.
Have you heard that song higher?
That's my favorite song.
This whiskey got me feeling pretty.
So pardon if I'm in blind, just wanna be.
You know that song?
No, I actually don't.
Oh, it's such a great song.
Such a great song.
You're gonna pull it up as though you're doing.
What?
And what do you think?
Why would I do that?
So, but here's the thing.
I just, you know, Rihanna,
he's just a solid looking gal,
but I don't think she's as hot as everyone makes it out to be.
I don't think we can play that on here.
So we can play eight seconds, can't we?
I don't know how it works, but.
It's a good song.
Yeah, Spotify higher. You know,? I don't know how it works, but it's a good song. Yeah. I'm Spotify higher.
You know, we just can't ever top Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, you know?
Oh, that's, that's controversial these days.
What is that?
That was a great, that was a great half time show.
That's controversial.
Well, what's controversial is that JT's career exploded and then Janet Jackson, she took a big
hit on her career from that.
You got to, there's a whole documentary out there about it.
But I'm not talking about the well-being of their careers.
Oh, okay.
I'm talking about how good was the halftime show and it was elite tier.
Okay.
What were your top three favorite things about that half-time show? Go.
See, I gotcha. I gotcha. All right, let's do that. Oh, hold on. Let me finish. Okay. I'm not done.
All right. I think first one's going to be Justin Timberlake's arm and hand, the wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah.
And the piercing.
Okay, well, it sounds like miles,
you are describing one moment.
I don't think we can count that.
And everyone knows that a good moment
can save a whole show.
All right.
Well, we're just gonna have to agree
to disagree on that one, but
Miles Charlie's squirming Charlie's squirming in his chair right now because he's worried
that a guy can't say that he had a good time watching that halftime show. I'm sure. What's
wrong with that? Where in history? Did we all of a sudden stop liking that halftime show?
I'm not saying. What point did we stop enjoying that halftime show?
I'm saying, where are we in this world?
Look, I'm not, what I'm saying is that one person
should have had a career, you know, skyrocket after that.
One person should have had a career.
I don't care about that.
Take after that.
I don't care about that.
Well, that, that's very about the halftime show
and that's what this is about.
Well, see, Miles, two different thoughts on the same topic,
you know, and what you're doing is you're starting to bring in
more mainstream media arguments here, because who are the ones
that killed their career?
It wasn't, it wasn't the footballers at the Super Bowl.
What's that?
What do you mean?
Were you just, were you not listening? Footballers at the Super Bowl? Yeah, I'm
saying they didn't tanker career. Wasn't the people watching the tank to career? It was
the media, the painter and a bad light after we're all totally cool. 100%. So this isn't
about the viewers viewing that we couldn't do anything about that. Well, that's now that's
an argument. That's a good argument. Um, but miles. I do think at this point in the podcast, we should tell the viewers what game we are going to play.
Are we doing that game again? Oh, we absolutely are. It's been my favorite part of this whole day. Well, I just find that sometimes I'm not as focused on the call itself. That's the whole point, my. That's the whole point.
All right. Well, just do it one more time. So basically the game for everybody who doesn't
know is we find something written on these dollars over at the nook. And then during a
call, you just have to organically integrate something on the dollar into the deal. Unless
you don't unless you really don't want to play mile. We'll do it another time. Okay. Okay.
And we're all you know, at this time, this time, we can't move to play mile. No, we'll do it another time. Okay, okay. And we're all there.
You know what, this time, this time we can't move around the room.
We just have to pick it right in front of us.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
You never did ask my question.
What's your question?
My question was when did we stop enjoying that half time show?
You never answered it.
I've given him every opportunity to get off the halftime show.
I know, but I want to prove my point here.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, look, I don't, I don't know.
You enjoyed the halftime show.
Say it.
You did.
I know you did.
You know, why?
Because you're a, you're a warm bodied male.
Boobies.
And boobies.
Boobies.
That's, that's the point of this.
I'm trying to focus on a dollar right now. In a minute, Charlie.
I mean, you know,
probably good one.
I don't think I should do that one though.
All right, I got my, oh God, there's words suck on this one.
All right, that's usually, No, that's not it.
That person hearts. They're dead. Kind of weird. You're thinking about that.
You're breathing like you're climbing up a stairs right now. I feel like Tony
Suprano right now Charlie. We're right before he passes out. Oh yeah. God. We could have
been done by this podcast right now. Yeah. Actually, there's one over here that says long time, listen,
our first time caller. Can you believe that? That's good. All right, Charlie, I got yours.
You want to come over here? All right. I'm coming over. You ready? What do we got?
Thick. I picked thysames. All right. All right. Thick thighs save lives. That's what Charlie's going for.
We got our dollar bills. We're ahead into the episode Charlie. What's yours?
Mine is thick thighs save lives. Mine is tea bag and sugar buns. I'm so excited dude.
All right. We're gonna take some calls. All right. Hello. Welcome to the Belly to podcast. Who's on the line?
Hi, this is Nicole. How are you guys doing? Hey, Nicole, we're doing good. How are you?
I'm fantastic. I'm waiting outside of our church. Okay. Our daughter to get done with
cancer practice. Oh, she's a canter. What church is? Yeah. We're at Abid, Indiana and we're at St.
Gabriel's Catholic Church. St.
Gabriel's hey, I don't know if you know this.
Raise you up on
Eagle's wings.
Yeah.
The breath of the
That's it. That's it.
That's it.
That's my boy.
It's all right's it. That's my boy. Is all right.
Yeah, there we go.
Father's son holy ghost.
So what makes you call into the podcast today, huh?
Well, well, we have four kids, my husband and I.
I know, Catholic family.
How many more are you going to have?
Well, I probably would add two more if my body hadn't been like that enough.
Oh, yeah. They sound like you sound like me on a Saturday night when Well, I probably would add two more if my body hadn't been like that's enough already.
They sound like you sound like me on a Saturday night when I've been trucking beers all day.
Oh, yeah, I'm like, this is a piece of cake. Let's just keep doing that.
Yeah, we have a 17 or boy is 17 and then we have 15 12 and 11.
Oh, yeah, hesitated on that 12 there, huh?
Well, in March, you'll be in even two years apart.
Oh, okay, God.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it.
So that's not it. So that's not it. So that's not it. So that's not it. So that's not it. any oopsies in there is the 11 or the 17? No, they love that 11 was a little earlier than plan.
I knew that was the case and almost had Irish twins, you know,
yeah, I walked into the bedroom and I just handed my husband the pregnancy,
uh, cast and he goes, oh,
K that.
Oh,
a little earlier, but be expected.
You had it to him, you said, you dirty dog.
Oh, that's great. That's great.
So what are you calling in? What's on your mind?
Well, I called in as a hoot because I'm waiting here and trying to kill some time.
And I saw you on an Instagram that you were taking calls.
So, but really, I actually do have a question.
So, my oldest daughter, Rosie,
is a huge, is a big fan of the podcast.
So, if you guys can say hi, Rosie, that'd be great.
Rosie!
Is it Rosie?
Rosie?
No, no, just when she hears the podcast,
nobody's with me right now. Oh, no. And I'm not going to tell her, I'm going to freak her out. That's her name though, Rosie. Hey, Rosie. Yeah, Bernie.
And Miles, you met you guy here with Charlie parents.
We just wanted to say hi because your mom's a sweet lady and said that we would want us to say what's up?
Yeah.
And while you're driving home with her in the shotgun seat, you make sure you're on dear watch duty.
So watch out for them.
Dear Rosie, okay?
These stuff, well, and dear is the question I have for you.
The Rosie is an avid hunter.
Nice.
She a bowl hunter or a gun hunter.
He's, uh, she's a turkey hunter and she does some duck and G.
Oh, good.
Real good.
Okay.
That sounds good.
Shotgun.
With my dad. shotgun. My dad.
Hunts with dad.
My husband's a city mouth. I'm a country mouth.
So my dad stepped in to do the hunting side of it.
The other kids aren't as interested, but I really want to get her into deer hunting.
Nice.
Because I was at sweet, sweet venison in my freezer. I knew there was an alternative
motive here. I knew it wasn't just because. And so what, what's your advice on getting her
interested deer hunting? Cause turkey hunting in birds, that's great, but that's one crockpot,
you know, and I'm done. But she says they're too cute. They're too cute. She can't shoot them.
The deer are too cute. I mean, that's hard to argue against. Yeah, because them deer are cute.
They really are. Geez. Well, here's what you could do. Okay. Okay. I got one for you.
This is how you convince your young kid to start deer hunting. You ready?
convince your young kid to start dear hunting. You ready? They've she thinks it's too cute to shoot. Just say, Hey, if you think it's so cute,
why don't we shoot them? Put them up on the walls. You can admire the
cuteness all year round. All that then they are forever cute up there on the
wall. What do you think of that?
that's not a bad idea. I have a taxidermist. I know. Is he
one of the guys that walk around
with the baskets during church?
Is he an usher at church?
He actually did. They are
spending half their time in
Florida now. Oh, they got
it. Okay. No birds. Yeah.
Oh, they're snow birds. Yeah, they're snowbirds.
Well, you know,
as soon as he does the last deer of the year,
he's in the, he said self.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's exactly very good.
Yes.
Well, and let's say you tell this to Rosie and she's like,
mom, but it's dead.
Well, here's what you can tell her is that.
Listen, Rosie, and you just find these stats.
Okay, and they're easy to find. Rosie do you
know how many deer get hit by cars every single year because you know the wolf population we have
decimated over time and therefore the deer population exploding so you know it's really it's
you know our environmental duty to control the deer herd. Otherwise,
they're all going to be around the same, you know, deal the salt, same Saltlicks or whatever
they're at, you know, the same bait, uh, plots, you know, and then they're going to start
getting their mouth stuff and they're all going to get the CWD. So, you know, you got to,
and so to piggyback off what you're saying of cars, or dear
getting hit by cars is another thing, I'm playing into the cuteness thing. Let's, let's
make sure that we stay on. Yeah, lead into that. Okay. The conservation list angle is
good. She's, she's hardcore conservation list. So she's got that. Now the next move in
the cuteness department is I want you just to drive down the interstate and look for some road kill
You're gonna want to look
You're gonna pull over and you're gonna make her kneel down the side that deer and go, you know what's cuter?
Having this deer hung up on her wall or letting it just rot out here on the side of the road
This is a very cute. This is pretty inhumane. I bet this deer didn't die right away. But
if you do hunt, yeah. And if you if you do a right hunting wise, the deer will die peacefully
and quick and it will, you know, end up on the old mantle. So that's true. What do you
think of that? Well, and she is a cracker jack shot she won't take a shot unless
she knows it's a kill shot oh you've raised you've raised her right i'll tell you that right now
of course she was going to have a dead shot of a daughter because she's got a taxidermis on speed
not everyone's got a taxidermis on speed dial. It's really a shame. That is true. That is a shame. Absolutely. I'm
Ishin. I mentioned to press that button and I just haven't had a chance. Wow. Well, I think I can do that and it's just twisted enough and
It fits my parenting style
You know bring your face to face with some road kill and say this is what you want
That's great. I think we really solved your problem here. I think that my gosh, I think this is one of the best things you guys have heard you guys solve
so far. I'm a lot of smart stuff in our past seven weeks. We have absolutely, you know,
and this is another thing, you know, and I'll tell you this last right now. You look at some of the thighs on these
Deers, okay? You look at some of them and they got some monster thighs on these deers, okay? And you can tell her now these thighs can destroy your automobile. But
automobile. But if she. Oh, no, it costs about $6,000 when my husband had a deer earlier this year. $6,000. And that's just the financial cost. Some people,
you know, they can die in these car accidents where they're hitting deer. So
you tell her to get out there in the woods and find the deer with the thick
thighs and get those thick thigh deer and you tell her you tell her this okay you say
thick thai's save lives and pool. It's gonna be tough to argue with that one
don't you think miles? I don't think I argue with that. I think that's a
t-shirt right there. That is a t-shirt.
Thai's save lives. Y'all need to get on that. uh, should we sing you out with you? Pick your favorite.
I sure, Jim. That's what we're gonna end the call. Geez, that's a good idea. I'm so glad you called should we uh should we sing you out with you pick you pick your favorite
We're gonna end the call miles and outs
Well actually my daughter Caroline is just got in the car my chance her
Carol what's up Caroline Caroline Caroline my sweet Caroline all sweet
Caroline my sweet Caroline all sweet Caroline Bum Bum Bum
Bum Bum
Are you on speakerphone can Caroline hear us?
Yeah, I'm on speakerphone and she came in, she's like, maybe like, what's happening?
Caroline, what's your favorite church him?
I have no idea.
Open up your binder.
Open up the binder Caroline
She's a binder crap in yeah, I don't know this one that will it comfort my people right comfort my people
Let's check out the next one
Wait, what are you doing Eagles wings? Did we already think Eagles wings?
You like that. Okay perfect all wing. Yeah, I like it. You like that? Okay, perfect. All together.
Yeah, ready?
All right, ready?
Let Caroline start it.
Yeah, Caroline.
I don't know.
And we will raise you up on Eagle's wings.
We need help.
You guys got the lyrics right in front of you.
Okay, help us out there.
We'll start it again.
The thing is you up on Eagle's wings. right in front of you. Okay. Help us out there. We'll start it again. The The the
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Well, thanks for calling in.
Yeah, this is great.
It's still boys.
You guys crushed it.
Caroline, good to meet you.
Tell Rosie.
We says, hi.
Yes.
And good luck.
Hot next year.
If you're if you're already done with the season this year.
Yeah, we're done this year, but you guys watch out for deer now.
All right, you two.
Well, big thighs, safe lives.
We'll see you later.
Bye bye.
That one definitely was a stretch.
That was not a work.
You did not work that in.
That was not a stretch.
I was you panicked and just made some shit up.
That was I didn't do that was not no, I didn't some deer have thicker thighs in others.
You Google that one.
Huh?
It was okay.
Okay.
Jared, you're usually on my team, dude.
That's how you know it wasn't that good.
I thought that was decent.
You forced it.
What tough?
If we didn't say you forced the thighs, you really did.
Say in the deer got thick thighs.
Some deer do.
Some deer do with the corn fed deer.
Though deer they're hanging out on the corn plots.
They got thicker thighs.
You just had nothing to do with saving lives.
Yeah.
If you hit a deer with a car that is thick thighs, that can take a life.
If you can sleep tonight knowing that you thought that that was a win, that's fine.
Freck, dude, that was a major win.
Major win.
All right, let's take another call.
Charlie, everyone knows that Fleet Farm
is the rural life HQ.
You know, rural life headquarters.
Everybody knows that.
Everyone knows that farm and livestock is the game
and Fleet Farm is the name, baby.
Mm, I like what you did there.
They got everything you need for your farm
from feeding the animals themselves of cows, horses,
and chickens, to gates, fences,
and even parks and accessories.
And you feed the feed.
Okay, sorry.
No, you got it.
You got it.
I think it was a mystery.
For tractors and machines.
Hey, they got everything that's gonna be able to feed your cow. Oh, you
know what that? That should be from. So they have everything you need for your farm from
feeding the animals themselves to cows, to cows, horses, chickens, to gates, fences, and
even parts and accessories for your tractors and machines. Oh, I think I think the ups and be alike.
Yes, it is in the name fleet farm.
Leet farm.
Once you are there, though, you will see so, so, so, so much more.
How much more?
So much more.
You won't believe your eyes.
What is all under that roof? Go check it out for
yourself. You got to go to wheat farm. We love it. All right. All right. The Super Bowl is only
one two three days away. And the one thing I'll have in my spread along with the five different bubble of dips, chicken wings, a little smokies,
meatballs, and whatnot is some typical baby.
You can bet your tush.
I'll be sippy that typical.
Have free flavor orange cream chocolate malt vanilla soft serve and the sham rock mint.
It's the perfect sip and drink for the Super Bowl and the perfect
desert drink miles dessert.
No, if you're in a desert, you want yourself some typical because it gives you some
want, you know, no, no, no, no, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, dessert drink.
It didn't say dessert.
Yes.
You don't need to even go there.
Okay.
dessert drink.
Get yourself some typical. Yeah. All right.
I'm going to be tipping it on back during the Super Bowl. I can tell you that
much. I'm tipping on. I'm tipping that tippy cow on back. Yeah.
I think I am going to go with the, I've decided it's, it's important to decide
I had a time. So don't let anyone else sway you. I'm going to sham rock
mint chocolate shake combination
and he's mint vibe. We're going to suck that baby down while we're watching the big game.
I'm bringing the shamrock mint from my packers. It's green. Oh, Tipeek out.
Tipeek out.
It just goes down SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the line. Oh this is Kirk. Kirk, how you doing guy? Oh I'm doing pretty good. Yeah,
where you calling him from Kirk. Well, you know, I don't mean to ruffle too many feathers with you
here, but I've called from the actual mid-state. Why do you know Kirk? Why do we have to start off?
You know what Kirk, I like you. I like you. I mean, really, it is truly God's high five to, you know, the rest of the
country here. You know, you can take both hands and, you know, you've even the
UP can use your hand for a map.
You know, I've heard that argument before, Kirk, and the only way the UP
looks like a mitten or a hand in any capacity is if you're smoking
the stuff you legalized up there, okay?
I'm going to tell you that right now.
Well, I'm telling you, you take your hand, you hold your thumb up and you pull in your
pinky finger there, and there you kind of hear your other finger, and yeah, you've got
the UP right there.
Correct.
Hold up your hand and try to pull in your pinky finger.
Try to do that.
Hold up your hand.
Explain to us how to do this.
Yeah, do it again.
So what do I do?
How do we make the UP?
How do we make the UP look in any way like a hand?
Go.
All right.
So you got your lower peninsula, all right?
And I say, you take your right hand,
you got the lower peninsula. OK. You know, you take, you take your right hand, you got the lower
peninsula. Okay. Take your left hand, you set it right up on top there. Uh-huh. You got
your thumb sticking up for the key one off. Then pull your vendor pinky in and then the
, uh, what's that? Not your index or middle finger, the one between it, your ring finger.
And uh, yeah, you can kind of leave it out there,
but yeah, you got the UP right there. I just have a finger gun now. Did I do that wrong?
Double, I'm holding up a double barreled finger gun. Is that what you want us to be doing right now,
Kirk? Uh, you know, you know, put, put that ring finger back out. That's probably about more accurate.
A triple finger finger gun. Yeah, the triple finger finger guy. And that's about what you're looking for right there.
How far into we go with the pinky?
Oh, you could you could take her all the way in.
Yeah, take that baby all the way off.
And suddenly we're looking at the upper peninsula, baby.
Yeah, that's there.
That's only a mitten.
If you've had a unfortunate encounter with a bandsaw, Kirk.
Okay.
Well, you know, I
happen. People out there in the Midwest have to most people.
Safety guards are optional.
Suggested. That's it. Not exactly.
Well, what is on your mind, Kirk, did you just call in to rub in your
mitten or what? Oh, you know, I saw the number posted. I thought, oh, you know, a lot of
I should try giving you guys a call. I've been now listening for a while now to fan
of the show. Oh, we really appreciate that. What do you do over there in Michigan? Oh,
well, I'm a emergency restoration technician. So, you know, you flood your house.
I'm going to come out and dry it for you.
OK.
How nice.
Why don't you say that the first time?
That first title is confusing.
Yeah.
What is?
That's one you use when you're trying to pick up women
at the bar is you use that one instead of,
hey, you flood your house, I'm going to come on by.
Oh, yeah.
I got to start it way more important than what it actually is.
Exactly.
That's what Charlie and I do.
We're not podcasters.
We are vocal performers.
Yeah.
Right.
I like that.
Kirk, what's the weirdest thing you've seen in a Midwest basement?
Oh, I tell you, you know, most of them seem to be pretty, you know, a lot
of them look like they're out of the 70s. Yeah, yeah. A lot of paneling is what you're
dealing with. A lot of wood paneling. I can tell you that. How many couches are just green
and flowered? Oh, it's not even the green. There's the orange, you know, red, y'all are every, you know, neon color available.
Yeah, I was going to say carpeting. There's still a lot of shag out there. Oh, yeah, yeah, he'd be surprised.
And any carpeting on the walls? Oh, you know, I've only run into that maybe one or two times. Okay. What's the average number of beer signs? You find hanging in a Midwest basement.
Oh, you know, there's always at least one. At least one. Yeah. Yeah. What else do they got down there? What else can you see in your what's the strangest thing you found in a Midwest Basement?
Oh, probably the strangest thing.
There's one house I did.
I walked down there and the guy must have had probably...
Oh, 14, 15, just hand-painted paintings of nude women.
And?
Oh, so he was a nude woman painter. Well, you know, you know,
he tried to pawn it off and that it was an answer to paint the picture, but you could see
by the looking his eye, he was a weird nudist painter. You could see by the looking his eye
and the paint stained hands that that was a lie, huh? Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to be honest with you, Kirk.
I thought you were going a different direction there when you said he went down to his, uh,
basement and you, you had 14 or 15.
I thought you were going to say dead bodies.
So thank God, they were paintings.
No, no, I haven't run in any dead body yet.
Thank God.
Kirk, I think we want to get to the bottom of this, though.
I've been waiting for someone to call in to say
to define what does a typical Midwest basement look like.
And I think we got the shed carpeting,
we got the bar signs, we got the wood paneling.
Is there anything else that stands out to you?
You know, I don't see them in all of them,
but I would say at least 60% of the ones I go into have a pool table,
a pool table.
And is that pool table level?
You know, honestly, it looks like it hasn't been used in the last 10 years.
They probably got boxed.
The stand up on them.
Yeah, it's more of a storage shelf is what you're saying.
Pretty much. Yeah. How about the how many freezers are in your average Midwest Basement? Great question. Oh, you know, you
always got one big chest freezer. You know, usually they're keeping the other fridge and
freezer up in the garage. Nobody's wanting to carry that up and down the stairs. Yeah, that is true. Yeah, that's very true. And do any of them have tool shops down there?
Where they're just like sending like wood dust up to the rest of the house through the
through the heating unit? You know, I've seen some will take makeshift, you know, they'll take
the old shop back right there and they'll kind of rig it up and that little bit of duct tape and
And they turn on the bandsaw or the drill press and it just sucks the saw dust right up
And then they run that for too long and they lose a pinky and all of a sudden their mid and looks a lot like the upper peninsula, you know
You know, yeah, it all comes full circle. Have you ever restored an old rec room? Do you know what I mean by a rec room?
You know, I've never, you know, I've done a lot of demo in some
I just do the demo. I don't do the putting back together, partner.
Do you ever take down some wood paneling and say, oh, there's stuff still good.
And toss in the back of your truck?
You know, I've never done it myself,
but I got a few co-workers that are like that.
You know, there's nothing worth throwing away to them.
Oh, yeah.
What's the weirdest thing your co-workers have taken
from a basement?
I almost had stolen, but, you know,
what they'll say finders keepers.
Exactly. You know, another man's trash is another's treasure.
Oh, I'm trying to think. We're really putting them on this. We are. We've really put you in the spot here. Yeah. I just kind of look away from it. I'm like, you know,
what you do, you man. Oh, look in the, that's, so that's where that phrase comes from.
Look in the other way. Yeah.
God makes it.
That makes it in a basement restoration.
Yeah. It's where it originated.
Yeah.
Oh, nice man.
I mean, I'm sure you would have tried to take one of those paintings if he.
Yeah, you look over and you're guys, he's just staring at him.
You're like, what are you doing?
You're staring for a little bit too long, buddy.
We're here to work.
Come on.
Yeah.
Do you guys ever wonder like Kirk, this a little off subject, but the nude paintings got
me thinking you ever go into like a Midwest bar and you see like on the wall like some
old like why is that where do they hang the like naked gals from like the 50s?
Because guys go to bars and guys like looking at naked pictures of women.
But does that help them pee?
Oh, you're talking about in the bathroom?
Like above the, above the stall.
Oh, I think that that's just, just for, I thought of just, you know, a way to sell more
beer.
Yeah, I was gonna say, how does that help you sell more beer?
Because there's the
there's the idea that someone at the
bar could be the lucky lady you go
home with is really what they're
re going to get more liquid
courage, I think. But do you think
when anyone gets up to the stall,
like seeing a picture of a naked
gal helps him relax and you know,
peak faster? You think there's
anything? There's a lot more blood
flow. Okay.
And I'm going to get an active in
some of the two veins and arteries. Well, we you know what? That was my fault for taking this down
that road. You started talking about naked women. I was bringing up a non-IS question and
talking about capillaries like you're a heart
doctor or something. So my question is a lot of people go, you know, I, hey, if you're,
if you're a doctor, you're like, hey, I don't really like to do work at home. I don't like
to talk about. I don't like to watch Grayson Atty because you know, that's what I will do
all day working. Do you not like going into your own basement?
Uh, you know, actually, I'm currently living in my basement.
Okay. So you're the rare breed that's like, Hey, I'm going to play where I work.
Yeah. Well, you know, it's, uh, it wasn't my first choice, but, you know, it's the place the way that had it.
Right. Kirk, why are you, why are you living in your basement, guy? Oh, I'm in the process
of purchasing the house from my parents. Uh, they haven't completely moved all their stuff
out yet. So okay. I see. I want to be heavily on our side. Okay. I wouldn't be me.
He doesn't want to do this.
I don't want to do this.
But I wouldn't be me.
If I didn't truly tell me the truth.
Are you living with your parents?
Not exactly.
Don't lie to me. Are you living with your parents. Not exactly. Don't lie to me. Are you living with your parents?
It's more or less they're living with me. I'm not. Don't lie to me. I'm defending Kurt.
He's living in his folks' basement, but did you purchase the house already, Kirk? Oh, it's in the props.
Okay.
So you live with your parents, Kirk, don't.
Hey, I need you to be in that.
Don't keep egg me with these sugar buns.
Just tell it as it is, all right?
Well, you know, in this economy, you got to be economical anyway.
Yeah.
Yes, you do, Kirk.
Yes, you do. I am on team Kirk on this. You go where
that where the finances are right and soon enough that'll be your house. In the meantime,
yeah, in the meantime, Kirk, you get to spend like quality time with your folks and that's
a real blessing right there. Well, truth, but well, truth, but they spend most of their time up in the U.P.
So I heard him.
Oh, okay.
So basically, yeah, basically, I, Kirk, I tell you what, you should quit your business
that you're doing now and you should become a politician because that was a perfect
way to state.
You live with your parents without actually saying that.
That was beautiful.
Kirk, do you call them your parents or your roommates?
Yeah, I've been known to say, and how am I roommates?
They're home.
That's hard.
That's good.
Yeah, I live in the basement, got roommates upstairs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's great.
I'm playing in the bottom.
I know. Yeah.
Do they do you have a landline there still?
No, I don't think I've had one of those since like, you know, 98.
Oh, yeah, I just thought it would be funny if you were like on the phone right now.
And like your parents picked up the other line and they're like,
Kirk, what are you saying about us?
So Kirk, are you still sleeping in your same race car bed?
Do you got one?
Oh, you know, as awesome as that sounds, I, no, unfortunately, not graduated out of the race car bed a few years ago.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Good for you, Kirk.
You're doing it right, Mike.
Yeah.
You're doing it right.
Is there anything else we, I imagine as an adult, that's somewhat a little bit strange
with your parent living with your parents
and that, you know,
do you ever come home and you're like,
hey, where am I parents at?
And you go to where there are rooms at
and you see a sock on the door knob?
Is that ever happened to you?
You know, I can say,
fortunately, that has not.
Oh, thank God.
That's my biggest fear, you know?
Yeah.
You know, I spent five years away from home.
I moved back to Michigan and, you know, I just,
oh, it wasn't the first choice.
Wow, you know, it's a good, it's a good option.
What you should do is you should start the contract
for deed process, even if you don't got enough money
for the fold down payment, start the contract for deed with them so you can at least say that
you actually own the home and they're living with you.
That's step number one.
You know what, Kirk?
I say don't.
Okay.
Because you know, you can just say what you just said and no one's going to be rude enough
to give you shit unless you encounter my eyes.
I'm sorry. I just couldn't. I couldn't. I unless you encounter my eyes. So me, you know, I'm sorry.
I just couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't hold my tongue.
Yeah.
But, you know, I appreciate the grind, right?
You're saving some cash.
It makes sense.
Oh, yeah.
Well, funny.
If the parents are just making them pay like a ridiculous amount for rent,
it's like he's not saving money.
He just actually wants to live with his parents.
Wait, wait, wait, what, what Kirk? Well, I would say that the funny thing is my sister lived
with them for a while and they actually charged her mother. Oh, did. So now we know with a
favorite child who's the golden child, Kirk is. Yeah, we're figuring out a lot about you Kirk you got a significant other
You know shocking. Well, that's not shocking. No, I know that was me. Now come on Kirk Kirk. I'm a dick. That was so mean
It's so sorry. We're gonna fight my brother live with my parents and it was fine. I was a joke I couldn't it just came out. I'm sorry sorry. We're going to find my brother live with my parents and it was fine. I was that was a joke.
I couldn't.
It just came out.
I'm sorry, Kirk.
I if you were in the bar here with me, I'd let you sock me one.
Yeah.
I'll sock them one for you, Kirk.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What is what kind of a gal or fella?
I don't know which way you swing.
What what you looking for in a partner, huh?
What what what are the stipulations?
Oh, well, ideally, somebody that's got her own place.
That's great.
All right, we're starting off good.
Kirk's the best.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Kirk, what's your favorite part to hang out at? We're going to send all the
all the gals over there. Oh, well, you know, the problem over here, because I live right outside
of Traverse City here. So, you know, we get all the city, all the city folks that come on
to visit the bars over here. Yeah. You know, I, you know, I'm pretty good with those nice small town bars.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well you keep
What else are you looking for in a gal? Scott Averone place
You know somebody who has all her teeth
Okay, what you you know what I like about your curg is you set the bar high you do oh
Yeah, you are hey, you know what you're what your mark is and you're not settling. And I like
that about you Kirk. No, someone has got their own place and some good dental insurance. That's good.
Is that it? Well, you know, I'm hoping she looks the same when I wake up in the morning. She did
when I took her home. Oh, that's so romantic. I think that's romantic to be honest.
I don't know, right?
That's romantic.
I guess, but nobody looks the same in the morning as they do at night, do they?
I speak for yourself.
Oh, you get two tree beers in yet.
Oh, that's what you mean.
Oh, yeah.
I thought your timeout did she take her makeup off before bed?
Did she run?
I thought that was what I was talking about. I see. I see. Okay. Yeah. So you want to avoid, I think
that's on you. I don't think that has anything to do with her. I think that's on you and
your own beer. Yeah, that could be. Yeah. Is that your alter ego at the bar is Billy?
You and Billy's got his beer goggles on. Yeah,'ve become a much more sociable person. You know, I get a few
beers in me. I like that. I like that. Yeah. Well, Kirk, this is great. It really has. Is there
anything else you want to, you know, say to us, say anything you want, buy, sell, and trade
any more. Buy anything. Oh, I'm just, I said, just driving on my way home right now. So I
will hopefully hey, if mom doesn't have food ready for you, I'm
be pissed. Oh, I will be. I'm gonna be texturing. See if the meatloafs
ready. That's good. I got a KS roll, tuning KS roll, rockin' and rolling. Oh,
man, I can go for some of that
Kirk you're a hell of a guy. I'll tell you that right now. We love you. Thanks for calling in
Oh no problem. Appreciate you have me on all right. Good luck guys. Tell your roommates. We says hi
Tell your folks I feel all right real good Kirk. We'll see you fella
All right.
A bite. God.
That's a big miles.
That's such a mile.
So mean.
You so sorry.
You threw them under the bus and then you backed the bus up and you put it back in
forward.
You did it again and again.
As like you were inspecting the reverse gear.
God is always sticking. Let me try it again. And again, it was like you were inspecting the reverse gear. Oh, God, it's really sticking to him.
Let me try it again.
Kurtz's eyes drive home right now.
I'm going.
He literally just got done going demoing someone's shitty basement.
And he's got to deal with that.
I called us for a nice, a regal taxation, get some laughs.
And you're roasted roasted I'm like a
like a rump you know.
J's.
I'm so sorry.
Kirk you're a hell of a guy.
Let's think Kirk some merch
from miles.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh really?
And you better go big on the
merch package.
Okay.
And send some for his folks.
Okay. It's roommates roommates. and you better go big on the merch package, okay? And send some for his folks, okay?
Drew Mates.
Drew Mates.
God, that's good.
Oh, God.
All right.
On that light note.
On that light note, thank you all for listening
to another episode of The Belly Up Podcast.
Yeah, right?
We love you guys.
We really do.
Ace, we'll see you in the next one.
Tip your part, 10.
We really do.
Ace.
We'll see you in the next one.
Tip your part 10.