Bellied Up - Mystery Strip Club Money #47

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

First caller is calling in to hate on ranch, Next caller is Laurie, she's trying to find the ideal boyfriend, Last caller found a bunch of money in the ceiling of a strip club and wants to know what to do with it. Please consider helping Will, with his cancer treatment Here Get yourself a "Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens" hat

Welcome back to Belly the podcast Charles miles, headed by Flea farm. Yes, we are. How you feeling? I'm doing good, man. We're here in Castle, to North Dakota again at the Red Baron Lounge.

Did you? It's going on. Not much. I just got a text on my phone from my brother. And he was up at my grandma's house. And he was showing me the picture was just of a paintbrush hanging from the rafters and the paintbrush, you know, is hung there. So you know, how far to pull the car in.

I just think that's one of the unsung, you know, Midwest inventions that I feel like, you know, I want to know if any of the listeners out there have these kinds of things, I want them to send them in because whether it's hanging a paintbrush, which is new. That was the first time I saw a paintbrush hung there. Usually it's a tennis ball. tennis ball. I've seen a water bottle before. Water bottle. I got a cousin who did a bush light can. Oh nice. Very on brand. Nice. My dad growing up, you know, we had a once in a while I got to use to park in the garage with my old truck.

You know, If you let you park in the garage. Once in a while. And so what would end up happening is he actually took like a two by two block and just drilled it into the concrete. And so whenever my tire would go up against that, I knew when to stop. Oh, that's a little different version. That is, that's a more that your dad must be in construction. Oh, he knows his way around the drill. Yeah, yeah, because to drill into concrete, that's not just your average drill bit either.

He's a concrete. Yeah. I mean, sense. But yeah, there are other kind of inventions like that. You know, I also think another thing, if not an invention, is people in the Midwest really know how to open a bottle with anything other than a bottle opener? Yeah, I mean, I think that it's to the point now where people don't even have bottle openers anymore because it's the waist of space Right, because they if they if you're not drinking red stripe or corona, you know, there's not really a need to have a bottle A bit of begin with It's a funny bit actually like like yeah, oh god I don't even have a bottle over anymore like oh, that's cool like you just use like a ring or like just doing on a table and like, no, all mine are

twist off. Yeah. What other be it's like craft beers or corona or red stripe. Those are the ones with with pop tops. That's pretty much it. Yeah. And I don't drink any of those. No, you don't.

But what's your favorite way to open up a beer bottle that isn't a beer opener? I like to stick it in my belly button. Can you do that? And just twist it off that way. Oh, that twist off in the belly button. I could probably do that to pop it. You can use a lighter. You can use, oh, your seat belt.

Actually, if you have a seat belt, you can use that. I don't know why you'd be in the car doing that, Charlie. No, well, this is why is that I've got an old seatbelt in my garage hanging on the course. It's hanging on the steering wheel from the ceiling. So you know, far to park. Yeah. Also the interior of a door, you know, like if you open a door and the little thing where the door, you know, like if you open a door and the little thing where the, uh, yeah, I usually do mine on the dash of the car as well, Charlie as well. Oh, miles. No, no, no, we do have to clarify. There's no opening bottles in your car. Car ones. Well, they just see about. Now I, I'm forgetting that not everybody else has

a seatbelt hanging in their garage as I do. So anyways, those were just, you forget that? You forget that a lot? No, but it's just like when I say seatbelt, my immediate association is not inside a car because mine is hanging on my garage wall. Got you. But I'm just finding unusual places to open up a bottle with. And that's what I came up with. So anyways, we're here. All right. Question about the bottle caps, though. Yeah. Regardless of its twist off or not. Yeah.

I am someone that likes to bend the, the caps in half where you would bend in half time. No, that breaks my heart because I like to come. Oh, like a little like Frisbee desk. Yeah. A bottle rocket. Yeah. Well, bottle desk. Yeah. A bottle rocket. Yeah. Well bottle rocket exactly. That actually did sound a lot like a bottle rocket. That sound really good.

I didn't know you were so good at sound effects. It's a far away distant bottle rocket exploding. Well, I want to go fishing at your lake house again. Okay. Remember when we did that? Yeah. And I caught all those fish and you were going to man because you weren't catching a. I don't remember that.

You remember that part? I remember that part. I was bringing them in. I was blacked out. I think you were drinking a bit. No. Just a bit. Yeah.

No. No, I was. I let you have the good side of the boat. Always at it. Yeah. No. No, it was, uh, I let you have the good side of the boat. Always that it. Yeah. Okay. Mm hmm. All right. Well, I told you to fish on my side of the boat. So maybe next time, why don't you get your own lake? Dang. Burn. Burn. I don't have, I don't have a lake house. I don't. You gotta get one. I know. No, we'll have you out to the cabin this, this summer, Charlie. If you come, I don't have a lake house. I don't. You got to get one. I know. No, we'll have you out to the cabin this summer, Charlie. If you come, I don't know. It's sometimes, you know,

you have invited me a couple of places and I said I was going to go and then I didn't come recently and I do feel bad about that. I'm surprised you're even making it to the wedding. Oh, please. Of course, I'm making it to the wedding. I feel bad. I do. Do you want to know how far in advance I had to put my wedding on Charlie schedule. The instant my knee came off of the ground, proposing a man, I had

to call Charlie and be like, you need to have this available. Then you got to call his manager, then you got to call his mom, then you call grandma Sue. Then you can get on Charlie Beard and schedule. And like five save the dates. Yeah. He's like, God, it seems like they're really sending out a lot of these. Is that new? Is that a new thing? You know, it's funny. In like July of last year, my manager had a thing. He's like, Hey, what's going on on March 18th? I see it's blocked off on your calendar and we've gotten off to do a gig.

And I was like, I have no idea. Yeah. I literally said that. And I was like, just don't book it. Just put it on hold for now. It took me a month to remember. Boom. Why don't you block something off instead of just blocking it off?

Aren't you right? What the block is for? Yeah. Now I'm going to do that. That's a great idea, Miles miles where were you when I put that in my calendar to begin with I was sitting right next I wasn't letting you out of my sight until you put that in the calendar Well, I'm glad we made it here today though. Thanks Miles. Yeah. Thanks for inviting me. So the folks at home should feel good because you always show up when the folks are listening. I show up for the folks. And this is a beautiful establishment, wherein we're in the red barren lounge in Castle, Tyn, ton of

castles in this town. There's a ton of them. Yeah. Ton of castles. And yeah, we're just in ton of them. Yeah. Ton of castles. And yeah, we're just in. I know they actually got a hotel with a water slide. Do they? It's called the governor's in. No kidding. It's, I don't want to say, but it's kind of a big deal. This, this town's had a lot of governors grow up here. So that's why it's the governor's in really? Which governors? The the centers the centers. Yeah, that's a cool name for a governor. That is governor center. Yeah, governor center. I'm you can't call me 100% on these facts, but I'm pretty sure Jared's confirming yeah, really like there are you know, even pulling my Yanke my tail. No, I would never about something so serious that of governor talk, you're not pulling my chain. No. So yeah, big water slide here in town. Have you gone down it?

Uh, I've looked at it. Why are you afraid of waterside? No, I just, I'm worried I'll get stuck. You know, to that agent size that I have to think about things like that. I know you just slipped down there like a hot dog down a hallway, but just every sound effect just sounds like a bottle rocket for me. Miles, you're looking really tremble.

I don't need to keep talking about that. It's you really are, uh, get me cool. Let's be cool about it. I mean, if I am, uh, feeling a certain way, I'm going to say it just so it's not on my brain. I feel a certain way. You're looking say it just so it's not on my brain. I feel a certain way. Oh, you're looking good. You're looking really good I just want to let you know that Sorry, you are too Charlie. Thank you. Thank you very much. Appreciate that. All right. Well, what do you think?

Should we get some collars going there? I think it's about that time miles. It's about that time Welcome to the belly to podcasts. Who do we got in the line? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. to get it right. I'm not sure if you're going to get it right. I'm not sure if you're going to get it right. I'm not sure if you're going to get it right. I'm not sure if you're going to

get it right. I'm not sure if you're going to get it right. I'm not sure if you're going to get it right. on every. Okay hot take. I didn't know that we woke up this morning and chose violence, but here we are. Here we are, Mr. Rodriguez. Okay. We'll go ahead. Why don't you state your case on why Rance doesn't belong on everything? You know, I just, I just, I think that, you know, it can go on a good salad, but like on pizza I think it's just too much and I don't like my I don't like my my courage with any ranch

I just like you know the squeak. Oh Okay, okay, well the problem is we can let the squeak pass. Okay, we can let that one we agree with all right Yeah, the pizza thing I want to back up the train here. And you said, you think. And I think that's the problem here. You need to feel in your soul. And once you're feeling coming from a place of feeling and not thinking, you are going to become one with the ranch.

You know, Charlie, I, uh, I, I should have rephrased. I have a strong feeling towards the ranch on the people. He does feel. Yeah. All right. We established that. All right. All right.

Man, if you think ranch isn't all it's cracked up to be, what are you replacing ranch with? I honestly don't think anything else needs to be on a pizza. I think a me and pizza is all you really need. You don't really need a side sauce or anything like that. I think it's just pizza by itself is perfect, but in other circumstances, I don't know. I'm not really like what do you dip not really like, what do you dip your wings in? Buffalo sauce. Are they already caked in Buffalo sauce?

Well, you can get Buffalo sauce on the side, miles. And that's actually a big thing in the wings community. And I know we've upset some people, Mr. Rodriguez. I think we've upset you as well with wings. A lot of times people would prefer blue cheese as opposed to ranch. Yeah. What do you think of blue cheese? I don't want that stuff anywhere near my wings. Okay. All right. So at least we found common ground. So he's just a ranchator. Jeremy, it's Jeremy, correct? Yeah, it is. So Jeremy, you're maybe not, your hatred is maybe not necessarily need to be geared toward

just ranch. It's all sauces. You're just not a sauce guy. I think a lot of my friends and a lot of folks would say that and like, I mean, you're not completely wrong. I just, I don't like lost sauces mingling with my food. Like, if it's spaghetti, you got the sauce on there, it's supposed to be like that. Okay.

But you don't need an extra side, you know, you gotta have what's already on there. So Mr. Rodriguez doesn't like getting lost in the sauces from what I have. I see what you did. What? What? Okay. You absolutely despise sauces, but you do got to pick one sauce.

That is the king of sauces. What is it? The king of sauces. What is it? The king of sausage. I put, I put, what's that stuff called? I put, um, man, I can't put, what is it? Oh, give me one second. I'm running to my fridge.

Find out what it is. Yeah, go to your fridge. Find out what it is. This is not good. This is not good for this. I put it. All right. Can't Find out what it is. This is not good for this. I put that. All right. Can't even remember what it's all about.

I'm a lot of my my salt on my products like a chicken sandwich at home with a chicken sauce. I think that goes pretty well. Well, Jeremy, I'm going to remind you that chick-fil-aid does not just have one sauce. It has many sauces. The original. The original. The original, the original, the original. Okay. Um, so what usually happens when you get

ranch or something unexpectedly comes with ranch, so you know, why will you just send it back? Oh, no, I'm not, I'm not, not that type of person. I, you know, I'll eat it. It's not the worst thing. I just, if I personally had a opinion on it, I wouldn't, you know, touch it.

I wouldn't go by it. I like, you got to probably go make fun of me for this, but I, I don't like any sauces on my salads. And that's a pretty hot topic for a lot of people. You're eating that salad dry. That is you are eating salad. I am. I am.

Jeremy, how? What? How much salad are you eating, friend? We got to figure out if you have serial killer tendencies right now. You call a salad the leaf that comes on your chick filet sandwich or what? That's not a salad. That's a leaf. No, no, no. I like to occasionally salad you know. You know, hold on. That was a very dry coffee. Yeah. I wonder if you could maybe

wet your whistle a little with a little bit of ranch. A little bit of ranch. Whatever you're eating, go down to easy. And also, did you know, Jimmy? No, no. Did you know, Jeremy Rodriguez, that ranch has antioxidants in it. And it actually is packed full of vitamin C. And perhaps that cough that you have is a direct response to you not having enough ranch in your diet. Did you ever think of that? No, Charlie, are you telling me that my lack of ranch intake is causing the decline of my health? That's exactly what I'm telling you, Jeremy

Rodriguez. I've never seen Charlie sick before and that guy drinks rants by the gallon. I do. I chug ranch. And that's why I'm a no, no, no, I've seen him do it. No, no, no, I, uh, I just went to the doctor today and turned out having pneumonia. So that's what the dry got. Oh, okay. Now, and did the doctor tell you, did he tell you you're not having enough ranch? Have you never heard the phrase, ran every single day you drink your, you ranch so that you can keep the doctor away.

Miles, it's a ranch bottle of day. That was the doctor away. Sorry, I'm so old. No, it's not an apple. So wild. Yeah, he's getting so steamed. He's misconstruing his phrasey allergies. Clearly, they didn't teach you all the things you need to learn there.

So we're here to set the record straight. If you want a life of health, and I think you do, I think this pneumonia is here to teach you a lesson. You make sure to put branch on everything you eat, including including and especially a salad. I mean, eating vegetables raw over here. Next, let's go back to that. Next thing he's going to tell me, he's not deep-prying his pickles. So basically what you're saying is for dinner. Yeah, for dinner, you would just be okay with just walking up to a tree and just raw dog and leaves right off of the tree because that's basically what you're doing with a plain salad in the first place.

Is that what you're telling me? You know, Miles, the funny thing is, you know, my parents were vegan for about five years, and I grew up in that. So, you know, might as well, if I'm already, you know, this shit. I figured it out. He's got vegan parents. He was raised on veganism. Yeah. He was raised by deer. Yeah. Yeah. but if a deer ever got to take a revenge, try it. Definitely do it. Yeah, he put ranch in a fucking on the woods. They'll be there back there. I'll tell you that. What did you say, Jeremy? Despite living in Wisconsin for almost my entire life, I've never had that. Oh, Jeremy, you know, yeah, I mean, this is what veganism is all about.

This is what's depriving the youths of delicious meats, a delicious sauce. I know exactly right. Well, Jeremy, you come on over to my garage. Okay, I got a freezer full of it. All right, I'll give you a, I'll give you a nice cut, send you on your way. What are you doing? That's not a jerky, Charlie. Oh, that's a good question.

Well, I've probably come the spring, you know, get out there in the garage, dehydrate it out there. So is it become sweater weather again? Ah, yeah. Get that smoker going. Yeah, that's a good call right there. I will, I'll get you, we'll get you some jerky. How's that sound?

Or do you eat meat now or no? That's amazing. Oh, yeah, I'm big meat eater. Hmm. Well, that's what happens when you know, you live for like five years of your life and what's not going to mean you just go back. Yeah, it's like, you know, strict parents, those kids always end up being the troublemakers. That's true. The vegan kids always end up being the trouble makers. That's true. The vegan kids always end up being the ones sucking down red meat, you know. Yeah. Well, listen, Jeremy, we feel for you. Okay, this is not you're doing it's your parents doing let them know we'd like them to call the podcast. We'd like to have a chit chat with them. Okay, we don't want to have to call protective services on them, but you know, we're gonna have a little chit chat. Damn near a child protective services call from depriving your child of ranch.

Yeah, you see, you can dry lettuce and listen to that cost. Yeah. You know, oh gosh. You have a, you imagine just eating just just a head of lettuce plain. No. Can you imagine just eating just just a head of lettuce plane? No, I you know, I get that complaint all the time. I get all I get it all the time. People will see me on public. I'll be like, what's that?

How are you doing? Yeah, that's for where wondering? And we're not even seeing you. We're just hearing you. Oh, man. Well, Jeremy, I think we've set you straight. Okay, try be adventurous with your ranch intake and come on over to the garage and we'll hook you up with some Venice and the

final thing to. Yeah. I'll put in my smoker. Yeah. The final thing I'll leave you with is if you don't really like ranch that much, he's probably just never had a good ranch. That's true. I got to end Valley in the fridge. I just got my problem. Oh my God. I mean, I don't have a problem. I did Valley myself, but I know Miles is vehemently opposed to it. Here we go. You gotta get yourself a good low viscosity ranch.

You gotta, I mean, this is what's wrong with America. They're all eating Hidden Valley and they're having any good, all the youths. None of them are eating the good ranch. They got all that Hidden Valley shit. Yeah. So try a good ranch once, then maybe we can talk Yeah, I'll I'll update you all right all right Jeremy. Hey, you be safe out there and you watch out watch out for trees don't eat them. Okay. Yeah Yeah, yeah, real good. All right. Yeah, I I'm going to be honest, Charlie. Yeah. I can't think about anything other than watching this guy,

raw dog, a salad. I don't. When was the last time you were a dog to sell? I can't for it. Got raw dog to salad ever, Charlie. I mean, let us just the, the, the, the utensil to get the ranch in your mouth, you know? Uh, I mean, you've heard

it like the, the, oh, that's a serial killer trait. I didn't want to say it to his face, because if he is a serial killer, I did say that you did. I think so. Did I call serial killer? Don't call a serial killer serial killer. Oh, that's true. Wouldn't that be some if a serial killer serial killer, like tendency thing was every time someone called the serial killer because he did something weird. He would kill them. That'd be a whole that's a whole Netflix show right there. I think we just we pick a picture. We've some great ideas come out of this podcast. I mean, ideas anyway. I can't wait to hear our next big idea on the next caller me either. Welcome to the belly to podcast. Who do we have the pleasure of speaking

with today? This is Laurie from Fondalek. Laurie from Fondalek. How are you? Fondie. Go ahead. How are you? Fondie. I love it. We're in Fondalek, T.O.L.F. You're Ace Hardware. Oh, nice. Nice. I was just over there. No, you know. I saw you there, remember?

Oh, this is that, Lori. Yeah. I just decided to give you guys a call. So I'll come across on my phone that you guys were open for business. Oh, yeah. We are open for business, Lori. Thanks for calling. So what yeah, we are open for business. Glory, thanks for calling. So what's on your mind today?

Belly up to the bar with us and tell us what's on your mind. Okay, I couldn't think of a question, but I said how to find a boyfriend after 50. Okay. Should I be going to Ace Hardware? That's a good start. That's a good start. Yeah.

It's a great hardware store. Listen, okay. All right. So let's set the stage then. So you said that you're over 50 years old. Correct. Yes. Yes. And you're single ready to mingle is what it sounds like. Yeah. I had a boyfriend for quite a while, but that stopped so I'm kind of afraid to date again. Okay, okay, well, let's let's let's maybe talk through that a little bit. Let's get ahead of freight. What made you what's holding you back getting back out there? Um, I think I'm kind of shy and I always want my son's approval and I don't know why I find somebody that I think they'll like to.

Even though they're like 30, that is really sad. No. No. I just talked to my grandson, I picked him up from school and he said to me in the car, Gami, if you get married again, is that going to be daddy's new dad? He won't have his old dad anymore. And I was so sad. Oh, it was just sad. Yeah. No, that is sad. But he's just curious. I think that I know I know I know about it. I think I know it's just he asked me every time I pick him up from school. He has to question about that. Ah, every time. What are his parents talking about it? Oh, yeah. talking about it all. I mean, I'm serious. He asked me all the time.

Should that be kid be worried about reading Captain underpants books? Or what? I think so. Yes, you're right. Okay. Well, well, maybe I'll, yeah, I'll bring him some toys tonight. Hey, could ask me about my love life and play with these toys. would ask me about my love life and play with these toys. Now, listen, where's that bar you guys are at? I'm just curious. We're over at the Minnesota Redbearing Lounge in Fargo, Castle, to Castle, to North Dakota, just outside of Fargo. But you know, we got to get down to find the lack. We got to get down to find the lack and do some stuff at some bars down there at some point. We got to get down to find the lack and do some stuff at some

bars down there at some point. I think so. I think you get a really good turnout. Yeah. Now listen, so you're looking for a gentleman over 50, okay? So let's start. He doesn't have to be. He can be younger than that. I don't want any. I don't want any old guy that has a cane. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Cains are number one. What else? Tattoo. Tattoo. No, no tattoos. What else? No. Weird shoes. Weird shoes. And what?

I'm sitting on what? Yeah. Go on. What do you consider a weird shoe? Like it though is those clogged typing, you know, they're called, uh, you know, the ones with the little holes. Why can't I think of it? Frogs? Yes. Well, maybe after lower your standard. Yeah.

Unless he's a doctor. I ain't saying she a gold digger. No, no, no. He can literally look like a sack of potatoes as long as he's rich. And that's some all for it. Yeah, if he's a doctor and he has tattoos all over, I don't care. I suppose you want a good retirement plan, right? No, no, I'm fine on my own. Okay.

I take care of myself. Okay, so you're doing fine. So, all right, those are your non-negotiables, but no canes, no tats, no cracks. On less. No cats. Did I? No, you've got more. No canes, no cracks no cracks no cats no tats

What else do we have more no else keep going fire them out no must no mustash no mustash what about a beard a scruffy beard always scruffy beard and a mustache can be scruffy too but nothing like really super long she's literally just looking for she's's, I, do you like the show, Gray's Anatomy? Sounds like you're looking for Mick dreamy is what it sounds like. Oh, I've never seen that show. You with love it. Okay.

So we've got the stuff that you don't like. What are you looking for in a gentleman? That's what I'm looking for, gentlemen. Somebody that takes me out to dinner and opens the door for me and holds my hand. And when we walk, he walks on the side where the cars go by. Okay. See? Okay. I want to touch on that one. So you don't get splashed. So you don't get splashed or hit by one of those cars. Speaking like a true fond of lack woman. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is that it? Oh, no, no, no, no, this is a great thing. You know, I think here in Texas, though, you're not as worried about all the during spring time. You're not worried

about this water splash. And you know, yeah, that's kind of what I was getting at. Go ahead, Charlie. Not as much water. I think that walking on the side of the road that the cars are on. I think that that is a, that's something a lot of fellas have forgotten. I think, I think so. Yep.

See, I always try and do that so that if a car comes barely, I'll take the brunt of it, you know, yeah, yeah. No, that's sweet. That is sweet. I mean, if you think though that she's safe from getting hit by that car and I'm going to stop it like I'm the Hulk, that's just not true. It's just it's an emotional thing. Yeah, it's emotional thing.

She's still screwed. Yeah, yeah, that's okay as long as it's a thought that we both killed together. Yeah, sounds like a Nicholas Sparks book And and instead of the rain coming down. It's just a big puddle from the car Yeah, you know you guys are both soaked because like a truck came by What do you want? She's like I want you to be able to lift this car off of me So what active how have you been? Yeah, what do you like to do? Let's get it. If you're saying, where do you look? We all start with what you like to do? Like a couple of times a month, I go out to eat with my friend. Okay. I know I know I do not do a lot of activities.

What do you do at home when you're just watching shows or? I'm kind of busy right now with my family, but yeah, I guess I watch football and basketball. Um, I go to my parents watch the games. Um, I usually like watch the box at night by myself, unless it's my weekend. I go to my parents watch the games. I usually like watch the box at night by myself, unless it's my weekend. I go to my mom and dad. And I like baseball. I watch the Brewers and sports.

Sports cat and UW. Yeah, that's great. That's, I mean, you're already halfway there. You are now. Do you go to the games? Do you actually go to the games or do you go to a bar ever to watch the games? I don't want to go by myself to the bars. You need a wing woman or a wing man. You know what? What's your son doing? He should be wingman and yeah.

He's got a zone family. Bring the family along too. You got a whole wing family. I'm going to tell you this. Yeah, if you don't want to bring them with you to the bar, my grandma Sue and my Aunt Mary are both single gals hanging out in Fondalak, you know, maybe you go knock over on their door and ask them if they want to go have one over at Shmitty's, you know Okay, Shmitty's is nice. Yeah, Shmitty's they got they got great stuff over there And that's a nice expansive place and then maybe you you seek out the fella that kind of fits your Your you know categories, you know fits into the things you like. Looks like you might hold your hand and that hand is not tatted up. No crocs on that fella.

Have my Aunt Mary go over there and make the intro. She'll do it. Oh, I've talked to her. She is not afraid to go do it. I can tell you that much. She will, I mean, she let Charlie have it on the lawn thing when she was on. Yeah. She was all pissy at me.

So I will tell you this, she is an outgoing personality. And you seem like more of a reserved personality. You need a friend that's an outgoing personality that can hook you up with a fella, the old fashion way, which is meeting face to face at a bar and go that route. I think that's all you need. And no match.com. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, get that those dating apps. Whoa.

No, thank you. You're not looking for a hook up. You're looking for a gentleman. Yeah. No. Have you tried the dating apps? Yes, it's very sad. Okay.

What's your worst dating app experience? Do you really want me to tell you? Yeah. Yeah. You guys want to hear it. It's kind of it Do you really want me to tell you? Yeah. You guys want to hear. It's kind of sad. I won't fit to appropriate. Well, I'll just say it.

Well, we can believe it out if we let you. Okay. Okay. The guy, I didn't, I never met him in person yet. He called and we were talking every once in a while. He was a realtor. And one day he called me and he's talking. He said he was at one of his homes showing the house.

And he kind of took a pause and he kind of sighed. And then I'm like, are you okay? He's like, oh, I just went to the bathroom. And that really grossed me out. He was saying while on the phone, number one or number two, do you think? I did not ask. Wave you had to guess.

One. Okay, who yikes. You know, I guess it could have made it funny and said two, but I just thought that was still inappropriate. Yeah, I mean, how was he even aiming if he was on the phone with you as the one my first thought? Well, he probably sat. Oh, that's, I mean, that's a red flag.

I don't know what I'm sorry. Oh, that's, I mean, that's a red phone. I'm sorry. No, I know. Oh, God, I'm getting sick to think of this. Guy, me too, a little bit. If you're a, listen, we're going to put out a, a, a, a, a SOS message for you here, glory. If you're a single man in fondal act that doesn't have tats, that

stands to pee, that stands to pee, that stands for something, especially to pee. That is not on the dating apps. No crocs, their shoes don't float. No cats. And someone who will walk on the right side of the road getting touch with glory. Yeah, that's it. That's not that's we're not asking for that. We're not asking for a lot. We're not. No. Um, you don't think so. No. And that that felt like he's got to have a job. Okay. What if he's retired already though at 55 then. Oh, well, that's okay. Okay. And if his retired already though at 55 then? Well, that's okay. Okay, and what's the age range? Give us the age range here. How young will you go? How old will you go? I don't know I would go pretty young because I think I'm kind of like a young person. So I

Don't know like 40 or something. Oh, I was gonna say like 25. You sound like you could hang with the 25. Okay, yeah, 25. Well, Charlie met me. Maybe he doesn't think 25. Oh, no, I'm not sure. I think you can go as well. Wow, Sean, I go. No, really, you don't think she can go as low as 25, Charlie?

You know what, we took a picture, didn't we? Yeah, so I was really nervous about that. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you remember? Why don't you, I do remember. Why don't you send that picture over to us and we'll make a dating profile for you on. I just, I don't see, I look like I'm having a nervous breakdown

because I was so nervous when I did the picture. All it's fine. People look through it. Send that over. We'll put it on the belly-up thing and we'll put your phone number right there. Phone number, email, social security number. Now hold the home address

and we'll put your likes and not likes on it. And then we'll also release your tax returns as well so everyone can know that. Uh-huh. That should be a complete profile for you. Yeah. Okay, maybe you can edit it a little so I don't look so weird. Well, I'm not even worried about the person. You send over whatever picture you want and when this episode comes out. No, it's good

because I'm with you in the picture so then they'll say, oh, it's Charlie. Well, so here's a thing. He knows Charlie. If her age range is to 25 Charlie, I think that you're in her age range. Oh geez. Well, you already got a photo together. I'm fortunate.

No, I wear crocs. So that is true. That's I've already been. Yeah, Charlie could be my son. Well, if you're going down to 25, I think that's the case with almost anyone. I guess you're right. Yeah. No, good for you, Charlie, and the crack, but your dad's a doctor, so that's okay.

Yes. Okay. His dad is taken, okay? Yeah. And keep in mind, I don't have any of that money. There are 12 people in my family. So when you divide, you know, there's no inheritance happening. Instead, leave it on the taxidermy and the investment.

Yeah, there's no money in that banana stand. I'll tell you that much. Oh, I know. And, no, I wasn't ever even thinking like that. Well, miles, what'd you do to me? Oh, I do tend to be an instigator. I do tend to come up to you guys meet on match.com. Yeah.

Oh, that's nice. You guys are good match. Yeah, no, we went to the bathroom for you. We went into the bathroom together and he stood to pee. So I said, this is my guy. Yeah. Just like you. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, if all that fails, just get some liquid courage and you know, go solo to the bar and just get up on the karaoke and just belt it out. I will give that. That sounds good. Yeah, what's your karaoke tune?

It has to be something. I have no idea. I've never done karaoke. Don't stop believing. You practice it. You rock it out. You're gonna find a fellow at your end. I actually feel like, you know, you're over 50,

but I think this is the first day of the rest of your life. I think you're about to have a little resurgence of young energy. You're going to do some stuff out of your comfort zone. You're going to go to a bar solo. You're going to have a couple of drinks. You're going to flirt with the locals. And I think you're going to find yourself a guy. If I'm looking at the globe in front of me, the, the, what do you call that? The fortune. If I'm seeing your fortune out, I think that that's what Chris still ball.

Chris still ball. We found almost said snow globe. Uh, if I'm looking at your crystal ball, I'm seeing you getting out of your comfort zone and really just living it up. Okay. Thank you. No, I'm excited. not your comfort zone and really just living it up. Okay. Thank you.

No, I'm excited. Lori, I thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate talking with you guys. Appreciate talking to you. You're fine. You made my day. Oh, you made ours.

You made ours. Now go knock on my Aunt Mary's door and you guys go over to Shmiddish. All right. All righty. Have a good night you guys. You too. No, we'll see. Bye. Bye. What a sweetheart. What a sweetheart. That grand son of a perj. Grandkids really giving her back. Yeah. You know, yeah. I mean, barely able to talk and already, you know, roasterner. Was it 12? I don't know. you know, Roastinner. Like, 12. Was it 12?

I don't know. I was getting the impression super young, so whatever. Grandma, why are you so lonely? Kids. Kids are brutal. What's our problem? I'm going to bedroom and close the door for 10 minutes and cry. She's so sweet.

I met her outside the hardware store and, um, Good, good gal. Yeah, really is. I really do hope she finds a new boyfriend. She will. She will. We put that out there. All right. All right. Tip it on back. Oh, Tip it on back. Tip it on back. Oh, Tip tip tip. Tip it on back. Folks, it's April 27th. It's my birthday. That's right. Yeah. Happy birthday, Charles. Happy birthday, Charles. So how old are you? 32.

32. Miles. Come on. Doesn't matter how old you are, Charlie. What matters is that you got an ice cold glass of tippy cow to celebrate. And today isn't just my birthday. It's the NFL draft. So we are going to draft our favorite, TIPI COF flavors. Yeah. What round? What pick you taking? You're taking TIPI COF? I'm taking the Shamrock one in the first round for sure. TIPI COF in the first round, but Shamrock, I got, I got pick number 32 because I won the championship last year.

So I'm going to take, uh, take the vanilla one always flex. First round 32. So, um So so we are going to do a cap clip to determine who gets the first round pick to go from here. That's how we're going to determine the pick. Oh, I got 32 a birthday, by the way. Thanks, dude. Would you get me? Typical. Appreciate that. Let's tip it on back to your birthday.

Cheers. End of typical. Guys, if you got a DIY project going on, you got to go down to fleet farm. They're going to have everything that you need. They're going to have snacks. They're going to have tools. They're going to have materials. And then if you get bored of doing your DIY project

and you wanna hit the lake, you gotta go there for all their fishing equipment. They got lures, they got rods, they got reels, they got it all. Five gallon buckets too. Check them out, fleet farm. Welcome to the Belly Up Podcast. Do we got on the horn here?

This is Josh. Josh, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. You're here with me, Charlie, and my co-host here. Miles, how are we doing? I'm doing good. All right, so belly on up to the bar. Tell us what's on your mind.

So I've got a classic question here. I was off the job site at a, let's just call it a gentleman's facility. I was running some cable through the ceiling and I opened up a particular ceiling pile and I found some money and I'm not sure what what I should do. Should I leave it? Should I bake it? Should. I left it for now. Oh, I was gonna say, where is it now? All right, Josh, how much money are we talking? It was a lot. I'm I'm probably north of 500 North to 500. You found this at a strip club.

Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, gentlemen's club, Charlie. Oh, sorry, gentlemen's facility. I'm just trying to get the backs on the table. Is this gentleman's facility still in operation? Yeah. And what state is this? I'm not going to say that. Yeah, I think that that's you can't tell me the state. I don't think we need to give any more information on what's shrimp club this club this is sorry gentlemen's club that this is yeah, that's right is what if you take the money? People that do own gentlemen's club sometimes I mean you're a big sopranos guy

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't want that so you know That's Charlie's golden retrieverness in M is it's it's always thinking that everyone's going to be trustworthy. And Miles teaches me how hard this world can be sometimes. It's a doggy, it's a doggy dog world. And I've never seen a goal retriever eat another one. And but Miles knows. So all right. So you're doing exactly what job in the ceiling tiles that you found this cash money.

I'm doing audio visual work. So I'm pulling, pulling cables essentially. Your pulling cables and was this stacked together with a rubber band around it or is it loose? Sir, no, it was wrapped in bundle, but there's a lot of dust on there. There's a lot. Someone clearly forgot about this 500. All right. All right. Now, okay, okay, okay.

Oh, wait. First of all, some's not adding up here. There's got to be more than $500 up there. If it's wrapped in a bundle and there's multiple bundles sitting there. No, it was one bundle. Yeah, one bundle. Where'd you get multiple bundles from?

All right. How many more days do you got to work there? Do there, how many days of work left you have on this job? Probably less than three. Okay. Okay. Now, where in the club is it? Are we talking in the above the locker room?

Are we talking above the pole? Yeah. Are we talking above the bar? Where is it? It was in between the bar and the stage in between the play for anybody just it took somebody with a ladder, you know. Okay. And there's dust on it. Now, are you sure you didn't happen to leave $500 there? Last time you worked on this place, did't happen to leave $500 there? Last time you worked on this place,

did you happen to leave $500 in the ceiling? Did you just forgot about it? No, I'm not. And this is still in operation. Yeah. I mean, I'm honestly, I'm not saying much because I am, this is a truly sticky situation. Yeah. It is. And not just because it takes place in a gentleman's club. It's why would that be

sticky? Oh, they spilled soda on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it, uh, are you guys, because it's way, it's way the options, right? Yeah. Okay. wrist taking the money. Yeah. Then you might get his ass beat with the guy with brass knuckles on. That's true. He might also lose his job because the club then tells them then all that. Yep. Now, if he doesn't take it and it truly is up for grabs, that is $500 so you can spend at the bar. That is $500 you can spend at the bar. Wow, okay. I think we love money.

Yeah, put the money back in rotation. Yeah, it's exactly, you know, don't ever take it out of the gentleman's closet. You're going to take it from the ceiling. You're going to bring it down. You're going to put it on the stage. And then you're going to leave spread the wealth around. It's not fair for you to take all that money. But there's a lot of hard working

people in that club that should be tipped. You know what? I think that they earned it. You know, I think so too. Or they will learn once you flash it in front of them. You know, have you ever danced on a pole miles?. I I performed as a stripper on an MTV show back in the day. I did. As an extra. Yes, I did. What it's called the hard times of RJ burger. And in one of the episodes, there was a strip club scene and I was an extra and I was wearing a Scottish

Kilt and you were and you were stripping? I was pretending to be a stripper, but my point in saying all this is not to flex on you and let you know that I had a really thriving film career at one point. As a background actor on this MTV show, nobody knows. But I was asked to dance on the pole and that is a very hard thing to do. And so I think that we should. I mean, not that we should get that I would know that or I've ever seen how hard it is. I would never, I don't know that.

But if I had to guess, yeah, yeah. So never seen it in action before is what I mean. I think I think we understand what you're I'm picking up what you're putting down and believes you. And so I think that's it. I think you either put it back to either tip it to the bar tender after getting quite a few drinks or you know, put it right on the stage. I think, it's not stealing, it's investing. And you're investing in the local economy. You are stimulating the local economy.

And I tell you what, I think that if you do that, if you take that money and you stimulate the local economy, I think you're going to have a happy ending on all this. It's a stimulus package. If you will, you really give him the stimulus package. We're not talking about the money at this point. Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Much like the strippers will do once you steal this money. Oh, my. I'm thinking of it. You know it. Yeah. Oh, my. Yeah, I'm thinking of it. You know, miles with his play on words. He always played that was just straight out.

I said it. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I think we have your solution. To take it. Yeah, to read this tribute. Invested. Yeah, stimulus package. Are we not being clear right now? I think he's. Oh, no,

very, very clear. Okay, okay, okay. All right. Well, unless he's like Mormon or something and he's not allowed to spend time in one of those. Yeah, do you have morals? I've got, I've got pretty good morals. Yeah. Well, he's calling into this podcast. So that makes sense.

You don't know all those ads questionable morals. Yeah. So we gave you a questionable solution to this conundrum. You're in. Yeah. You know what? Change all of it. I know what you do. Throw everything we've said away. There is a ceiling ventilation system. There is a, uh, an H back in that deal. Okay.

You've got like some sort of hot or cold air blowing in through that sucker. What you do is you work the night shift. And when things are heating up in that club, drop that money down and let it actually rain. I love it. Okay, he's definitely not doing that one. He was such a force. I know. He was, he was appeasing me. I know. I don't love any of those. Yeah, we can just cut that. Just cut that out of the thing. We ended it good. We ended it good. Okay, just so people know how bad my joke bombs.

Well, no, it didn't bomb. It just didn't hit. Didn't hit. Yeah. But you get where I was going with it. Yeah, no, you were, you were literally making it rain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Which was, he was already planning on doing, but he would be able to reap all the benefits of being the one making it rain. Yeah. This, this lacks any benefits. Yeah. Now, no, I think we solved your problem. I don't even think we need to ask him if we did. I think we just did. Yeah.

Thanks for calling in. We do appreciate you. And you'll do the right thing. You'll find it in your heart. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Thanks for calling in. You know, I that was it was Charlie, we are on the top of our game. We both came to the same conclusion at the same time. Sparks flew emotions ran high tractor beams sucked us right in.

And we were on the same page there. Yeah, that was nice. It's nice. Exactly. You would do you would reinvest. Honestly, I'd just take the money and run. You do run faster than me, as well. A little less weight to carry, you know. Not for long though. I'm coming for you. What if he takes it, spends it and it's counterfeit? That would be, it's just monopoly money. Yeah. Also, though, that would suck, though, if it was like he actually got his

a speed for taking the money. Yeah. Brass and uncles, I did that became a real solution or a real thing that could happen. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, so hopefully we hopefully he listens to this and knows there's any threat of that. Please do not take the money. Yeah. It's a good PSA for our listeners. Well, my old system is another fun episode of the belly up podcast. Was that it? That's it, baby. Yeah, that's it. Another one in the books. Italy, I was having so much fun, even though we were wrapping it up. Time flies like a banana. And that's actually how a lot of kids get born.

Having way too much fun, you don't even know to wrap it up. Yep. And bananas. All right, folks. Well, everybody, you stay safe out there as you're driving around in your automobiles. And if you find a big lump in your're driving around in your automobiles. And if you find a big lump sum of money at potentially mob run operation, go straight to the gentleman's club. Yeah, there you have it. There you have it.

All right, me and Miles, your fearless listed, at Fearless Advice Givers are signing off for now, but we hope to see all of you soon and give Gloria a call and Fondalack. She's waiting for you. Real good now. We'll be guys, Tidra Bar-Tender. Bye-bye.