Bellied Up - Passive Aggressive Mother-In-Law #96

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

First call, we share some tips with a caller dealing with her mormon mother-in-law (WWCD). Then, we chat with a custodian from Colorado who's eyeing a move to Michigan, so naturally, we ask him all sorts of questions about his job. Lastly, we give a middle schooler a cool tricks to ease their "awkwardness". Get yourself a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Myles' other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Betcha Radio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check Out Charlie's other Podcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Cripescast

Welcome to the bellied up podcast who we got on the on the old horn here Are we doing it with them Charlie word this is the intro. I know I know that but I thought he didn't somebody call in for Midwest Airpack. Oh, okay got it. All right Well boys, maybe you should be a little bit more clear Okay. Got it. All right. Well boys, maybe you should be a little bit more clear. Maybe you put, put that energy you got into laughing right now about being more clear with your setup. Okay. How does that sound? How's that sound fellas? Huh? Yeah. I think we should just keep this in. Yeah, go ahead. Keep it. We should just keep this in. Yeah. Keep it. Hey folks, welcome to the belly to podcast where communication to communication is never key.

There's no one on the line, Jared. He's. Oh, OK. Now I'm getting roasted. We haven't had any food. Our patrons are now belly laughing. Charlie. Oh, they're laughing at me. But Miles, you set me up poorly. So anyway, folks, what you were listening to there is a little behind the scenes on the bellied up podcast where, you know, Jared tells us the callers and then we kind of pick

a caller, but he was telling us intro topics. Yeah. What's today's intro topic back today's intro topic is the Midwest starter pack, the Midwest starter pack. All right. All right. So Charlie, what's in your Midwest starter pack? Well, first and foremost, miles, I feel like you've got to have an ice scraper. I know that's going to sound pretty basic, but an ice scraper, ladies and gentlemen. First of all, you do not choose the ice scraper. The ice scraper chooses you. You've seen Harry Potter, just like the wand.

An ice scraper is crucial, not just for scraping off your windshield, but we don't pay for therapy in the Midwest. No, we talk to our bartender or we just get our anger out on the ice on our windshield. So I would put an ice scraper in there. Miles, what would you toss in? I would throw in a car that's covered in, uh, like dried snow and sand and dirt in the winter. And then you pair it with someone writing, wash me on the window on the back. Got to do it. You got to do it. Did you ever like, I think that you know what I'm talking about in the winter, the slush gets all over the side of the car. The salt from the roads are all over the side of the car. It's almost like Midwest decals.

It is. I like that. You know what? I'm just getting excited with you describing this car, too, because especially like a one day, 24 hours after a fresh snow, you know, when the the ditch snow is a little black and stuff, maybe two days, maybe three days, but you always get that little slush bunny between the wheel and the wheel well.

Just tapping your foot on that and watching it just fall off in a big chunk is one of the most satisfying things. I wanna see an entire YouTube channel of just people clearing out the snow between their wheel and their wheel well. That's what I want for my birthday this year. I'm gonna get you that, Miles.

I just want a lineup of cars that all have the little slush built up behind the tire. And I just want it for my birthday. I just wanna walk by and just kick, kick them off on every single car, like 30 of them in a row. And luckily for you, you live in Fargo and your birthday is in March. It's a perfect time. Yeah, it's going to be a blizzard here again.

That's cool. I like that. Good ad. You know, another thing I we need in the Midwest starter pack, you need a pocket knife. Everybody needs a pocket knife. You got yours on you right now, miles. Oh, oh, you want to know what sad you want to know what sad miles. This exact one. I had that knife. Guess what happened to it. TSA TSA. It went away. These are both buck knives. Shout out to buck knife that that not a sponsor, but cool knives This is how I flip it up like that. Oh, that's cool. You like that? Yeah, I kind of do you flip it up like that too, or are you lame and you kind of like going like this? Oh, let's see how you do it. Oh

Yeah, this is an oiled up like mine is yeah, you know the oh There you go. Oh, oh, there you go. Oh, that's kind of fun. I like that. Let me try. Oh, geez, that's not good. This is how we cut our hands. It's got a little fling in my eyes.

There we go. That's fun. Yeah. I'm gonna try it more like that now. That's cool. I just really like, have you actually, this knife, I was ice fishing

and I've laid a wall, well, not a wall, I a perch with this this knife I was ice fishing and I filleted a wall or not a walleye a perch with this buck knife now I don't ever recommend filleting a perch with a buck knife but in a pinch you can do it and I'm gonna tell you this I did a fillet that my dad would be proud of my dad would not have been inspecting that perch being like you left too much belly meat on it so or not belly meat just leaving too much on the thing. You don't really want the belt. You want to kind of cut that off a little bit. At least I do.

You did a good job though. You know, I'm not here to, to, to pump my own tires, but you know, no one's here to pump them for me since we started this podcast off with you. Jerk faces laughing at me. So anyways, yeah, I'd put a pocket knife in there. Nice little pocket knife. Myles, what else would you toss in? I think I'd also throw in the monthly bar tab. There's not a lot of places in the US

where you can have a running tab and pay the invoice at the end of the month like a retail store. And Myles, What is more satisfying? I'm gonna go ahead and say nothing off the top then winning and pull tabs and just saying Put that on my tab. It's like it's like paying down a credit card. You're like, oh, this is just I'm gonna pay that down now You're gonna be able to pay it off That's the thing with monthly bar tabs. You never pay it off

You know, you just pay it down a little bit. It rolls over again. You come back in and you shoot it up again. And what I love about Midwest bars, I let you run a tab. They're not adding interest. No, they're just interested in you coming back. That's right. And that's what we love. And they can realize those losses on their taxes, I think. You know, yeah, they can just be like they it's just a byline

that says Miles is tab, you know, and and the IRS just doesn't question it. They're like, oh yeah, that makes sense. It's like three bars. Another thing I want to throw into the Midwest starter pack is fishing line. Because the fishing line has many, a fishing line is basically a multi-tool. You can use it to, you know, you can use it to, you know, you can use it to, you know, you can use it to, fishing line and because the fishing line has many,

a fishing line is basically a multi-tool. You can use it to floss. You can use it to cut a banana. You can use it for fishing. You can use it to hang decor. Have you guys ever seen a fishing line chandelier? My mom hung some stuff in her house with fishing lines. It's invisible. It's not just invisible to fishes. It's invisible to us. You know,

you can use it as a belt. You can absolutely use it about, and this is strong stuff. And if you get that threaded fishing line, dare I say, you could probably, you could probably hold my pants up. You could hold your slacks up. Yeah, you can use it as a You can tie a Christmas tree down with it Yeah, yeah, you could probably use it as a makeshift ratchet strap to Charlie you with a strong enough test Yes, you know, it's not exactly like a ratchet strap. You're gonna tie that down real tight. You're probably you're gonna go Well, that's probably going somewhere. What but probably the key word. Exactly. Possibly it's not going to. So just a few things in

the old Midwest starter pack. Anything else to toss in there miles? My head goes to a driving glove. Do you have a driving glove? I, you know, it's funny. I got a set of gloves on the dashboard at all times. Yeah. It's like, well, I even have just one laying around so that when the steering wheel gets cold in the winter, you just put the one on. And then when you're holding the steering wheel, your hand doesn't get cold. I've never, I've never, I'm going to be honest with you. I've never done that. Um, I've just, I've just had the cold hands on the steering wheel, but I may may start and it's funny because those gloves are sitting right there could just toss those suckers on

But I like that. I like that. I put gloves on to drive the car, but then when I get out I take them Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're Michael Jackson ing it while you drive. It's kind of nice Well, that's cool. I think we did a good job on that miles.. Yeah, I think we did too, Charlie. Should we take some callers? Now we can take some callers. Who we got on the horn? My name is Jesse. Hey, Jesse. Where are you calling in from? I am calling from St. Texas. St. Texas? Like the town's name is Saint and you're in Texas? Yeah.

F-A-T like Fates. Fates. Fates. Fates. Fates. Yes. Fates. Got it.

Okay. Well, Bell, you have to the bar. What do you got in your mind? I wanted to ask for your guys' advice on what is the best way to get my mother-in-law to like me. So my husband and I have been married for almost 18 years, a long time, and I still cannot get her to like me. She just doesn't like me.

How can I change her mind? Well, okay, let's get a little backstory. What are some examples of why you think she doesn't like you? Oh, well, let's see, the biggest one is, well, there's no communication. She like never ever talks to us ever, ever. And, last one. ever talks to us ever, ever. And my- That doesn't sound- Way back when we first got engaged,

like many years ago, she actually told my husband, no, you probably should still keep looking. So there's like a whole lot of things that over many, many years have turned into this whole thing. She doesn't like me. And I would just love to change that. And you guys are like always giving us the best advice. So I thought, Hey, miles and Charlie is really, we don't, we don't, we don't get that a lot. Yeah, we don't. What's

her name? What's your mother-in-law's name? Her name is Marla Marla and Mara. We need Marla. She sounds like a Marla. Kinda. Yeah. Yeah. I've, you know, I've only, yeah. Now Marla does, so Marla does not like you, Jessie. Um, has she ever been, uh, direct to you and saying that she doesn't like you? Oh, no, no, no. She can't be direct. It's very, very passive aggressive. Oh, she must be from the Midwest. Oh yes. It's very, very passive aggressive. Oh, she must be from the Midwest. Oh yes. It's very, very passive aggressive.

And like, she'll always say, oh, I love you. But then she'll stab you in the back. Like, okay, here's a really good example. So years and years ago, a couple of years ago, like two or three years ago, I was running my first half marathon. And my husband, we were with his family one time, and my husband was with his mom and I overheard him telling her, Jesse ran this race and she got like, I don't know, fourth in her age division or

whatever, which wasn't phenomenal, but it was a, I was proud of it. And her response was, well, how many people were in the race? That's maybe because my, when you said half marathon, my first thought was, why didn't you just run a full one? Uh, so maybe I'm not the best to give advice in that scenario. So it sounds like you kind of half asked it to me. So maybe I should 13.1 miles is a lot of running. It's about as half as much as all the other people that ran to. OK, so she she is not overly aggressive to you, but she just kind of makes a lot of snide comments. Yeah. So let's dive into this, Charlie. What does she because I think that you got to find some common ground and that can get people to turn around. Right. If you

watch the movies where this happens, all it takes is for them to connect on one thing and the whole narrative changes. So what does she like to do for fun? Um, well, nothing I like to do. She's very, very like pioneer ish. So she likes to like grow her own food and sell her own clothes and do all the things that I don't like to do. OK, so so you're not willing to you got to walk halfway down. Give. So she likes to grow her own food, so she's kind of a hippie. Not a hippie. I would I would say like pioneers like old school. Well, I think what you're going to have to do is do what you did with that half

marathon and meet her halfway. Yeah. So we're half a shirt. Yeah. I'll have to, I'll have to try that. She's just like, I would really love to have a great relationship with my mother-in-law, but, Oh, 18 years is a long time to go back and try to start over. You also could play the waiting game. How old is she? I knew you were going to say a mile. Miles says everything I'm thinking.

He's pretty old. Okay. So you got that going for you. She's probably in her late sixties. Oh, I know that's not old. That's not old. I was hoping for like an 80 mark, but yeah. Is she healthy? Yeah, she's not old. That's not old. I was hoping for like an 80 mark. But yeah, is she healthy? Yeah, she's pretty healthy.

You're going to have 30, 40 years left with her. You better figure something out. You're still in the first period here. So you know, so Charlie, she likes doing pioneer stuff. What is some stuff that they could do together that may change the course of the wind here. I like where you're going with that, Miles. Let me ask, where does Marla live? Arizona.

Arizona. Okay. Okay. And does she like, she likes growing her own food? Is she into weed or booze or anything? No, definitely not. She is very, very like my husband grew up on a on a dairy farm. And so they're very traditional country people. Very traditional, very traditional. Where did she grow up? Where's Marla from? Oh, it's a little tiny town in Arizona with like 100 people. It's like in the middle of nowhere. Got it.

Is she religious? Very, yes. What flavor? Christian. Uh-oh, like non-denom? No, like Mormon. Oh, uh-oh. Oh.

You could bring her some energy drinks. You know, Mormons can do that. Cold caffeine. Send her a shipment of cold caffeine. I really I wish I could, but I don't even think she drinks caffeine or soda. She doesn't drink anything. Center a pan, a can of paint that she can watch dry. That's probably a good idea. Dang, okay.

Well, so does she not like, let me ask you this. Why did she initially not like you? What did you do to corrupt her son? What did you do? Were you guys living in sin before you got married? Yeah, probably. Well, that's exactly it. It's from the very I married her baby boy. And from the very beginning, I was just never.

I was just never good enough. I was a wild, wild college girl. And and she wanted perfection, I guess, I don't know. And I guess I'm not that. But on the upside, I we're like, like I said, we live in Texas, and I have my husband and we have three kids to one of my sons, actually, my oldest son, who's almost 17, him and my nephew who are obsessed with your podcast. So they're going to be listening to this. Oh good. And they,

well, I'll tell him, you can't tell my nephew, we can't show this to grandma, but she can't listen to it anyways. She's Mormon. Yeah. No, that's Amish. Yeah. Same church, different pew. So my, my kids, we live over here in Texas and we don't have much, like they don't know my kids very well. We don't see them. We don't talk to them. So they're not too involved in our lives, which is kind of nice sometimes. So that's the plus side of it. Okay. I think I got a good one for you. It's not, I don't think you're going to love it, but it's a solution. I think you gotta, you gotta basically blackmail her. So you got to set up a scenario where she gets caught doing something that she's not supposed to

be. You need to be there to catch her and then hold that over her head for the next 30 years. Oh boy. Like what? That's ambitious. Because is she for sure? Like full blown Mormon or you think she's got some secrets in the closet? You think she likes? Oh, I think I don't think she has any secrets. No. Dang, Miles, you're dealing with a Mormon. They take that stuff seriously. They're like, they're in it. They're on it, man.

You got to start doing stuff like, just drop in like a 20 on the ground and see if she pockets it. You know what I mean? That could be. That could be. I like it. She'll probably say she's maybe like a show

I'll be like hey Jews wouldn't do that Yeah Let's see here. Could you send her a nice shirt and tie? Don't don't Mormons like the shirts and ties nice white shirt nice tie. Well Well, she wouldn't wear a shirt and tie. She's a woman. What about what a Mormon? I thought all Mormons wear the shirt and tie. What do the ladies wear, the Mormon ladies? Just dresses.

Well, can you sew her a dress? Not always. Here's what you do. You got three kids. I do have three kids. Make one of them sew a dress and send it over to her, say it's from you. Also, we are letting- That's actually not a terrible idea. and send it over to her say it's from you. Also we are letting your husband get off the hook here.

Yeah why isn't your husband standing up for you? What did he say after the the half marathon comment? So it's actually a point of contention between him and I. So after he said that, he's like, oh no, my mom didn't mean it that way. And I was like, yes, she did. She absolutely meant it that way. My husband is like the most genuinely kind, good human being on the planet. He truly is. But he is so oblivious to other people's passive,

aggressive, snide remarks. Like he just doesn't see it. He thinks everybody is kind and good in this world. Well, I know otherwise. What if we did another half marathon meet in the middle and maybe you're a little paranoid about it, right? So it happened one time. So now you think she's out to get you and you're reading too far into things. Is that happening at all? I mean, probably according to him, he thinks I'm reading too much into it, but I don't think so. I think I'm a hundred percent on the right track. He thinks, he thinks that

that our families are just two very different people. Right. So like I'm used to mice and my parents who are very involved and they don't live near me either, but we, we have a lot of, there's a lot of communication and he's just like, our families are just two very different people. And he thinks that, Speaker 0 4 1 2 3 Yeah, I think you could take a page out of the Catholic book and just lie and then go to confession later. So what you need to do is you need to set up a system with your husband. Now you know what she's like.

You need to give her no way to make a snarky comment, right? So next time you run a half marathon, just tell her that you won and you beat everybody. How is she going to know? That's actually a really great idea because she would never know. Exactly. What's she going to do? She's Mormon. She's going to get on her computer and look up the results of the- Again, Miles, Mormons do technology, my guy. Yes. Well, probably most of them do,

but I think my mother-in-law does not do a lot of technology. Like I said, she's very pioneer. Why don't you, here's what you gotta do then. Okay, I got it. You gotta find yourself a good pigeon, okay? And get yourself a strong pigeon and tie two bags of seeds to the pigeon and Figure out how to get that pigeon over to your mother-in-law's and then she'll be thrilled that you sent her some seeds for a garden

on a passenger pigeon She would probably love that actually She probably would enjoy I feel like your mother-in-law would love Charlie. So you need to develop a mentality called WWC D what would Charlie do? And then just only do and say stuff that Charlie would do because old people love Charlie. They think he's the sweetest. They think he's the funniest. They think he can't do no wrong. And you know why I know this is because my parents feel that way about him. Your folks are nice. I mean, but in Mary Jane and I go way back. My parents love Charlie

more than they love me. That's not true. My all you gotta do is do the WWC D what would Charlie do? She's going to love you. I think you send her some seeds and you say, you know, since your son gave me his seeds, I'm giving you these. See how that goes. She will probably shrivel up in a ball and be like, Oh, I can't think about that. But that's phenomenal. That's a great idea. Yeah. And you know what? You don't even need to write that on the note, but you know, you get enjoyment out of knowing that's why you sent her seeds and she's like, as you're releasing the pigeon out the window, say that out loud and it'd be very therapeutic for you. Just don't send a parrot. They might re tell her. So I know. Right. Yeah.

Okay. WWCD. What else did you do, Charlie? I get her a nice hole, you know, send, send her a hole, get a meal, strap the whole to the meal and make sure the meal knows where it's going. So you have it on the ass. Yep. Get yourself a nice GPS, a phone that's going to last about six or seven days. Put it on that mules had, you know, with a carrot over it. I'll chase the carrot and then follow the directions and it'll get there eventually with a nice hole. Now she's got a hole for the seeds and you know, a mule to ride into town on.

There you go. And the mule will be symbolic. Jesus rode in on a donkey, an ass, is she married? She's still with the, and what, what's the relationship with the father and lot? Is he like you a little bit more or not? Not so much. Yeah, I can get along with him a little bit more. He's a little, he's a little more laid back. He's an old cranky farmer, but I do get along with him. Um, and he's just a little more, he's just a little more laid back. And I think if all of this fails, I think you just need to say, fuck it. And just, I

think you need to match her energy and then take it up another 10 notches. Now that's the Midwest I'm talking about mirror her. Just, just be a mirror for her actions. You know, tell her how many times you pray today. Is that it? Yeah, no, it's a, how you got fourth place in a half. I prayed for, yeah. Yeah. you, I send her a book of the of the ladder saints or whatever the Saints on the ladder and then and then tell her that you're praying for. She'll love it. Right? They got the ladder Saints in Mormon, right? Or is that a different one? Is that Opus or not Opus Dei? What's the other one? Where are you driving? What the hell's going on?

Sorry, I'm getting in my car to go pick up my daughter from school. How old's your daughter? My daughter is nine, she's my baby. Oh, well what would you do? Well, I got another passive aggressive. You just got out passive aggressive her. Yeah, send your kids to live with her for a summer. Yeah, clash of the titans.

Oh, you got fourth place in the marathon. You got fourth place in a half marathon. How many people were in it? You're like, I don't know, but at least I wasn't sitting on my ass knitting all day. Oh, that's more aggressive. That's straight up aggressive. Yeah, you're right. Does she like crochet?

Does she like crochet? Does she like crochet? Oh, I know that she like either crocheted or knit. I'm not sure which one it is because they are very similar. She doesn't want them. Yeah. Send her a kit. And then when you show up right before Christmas, when you show up and be like, Oh, I thought you'd already have this done by now. Yeah, there you go. That's a good passive. I like getting better at the passive aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. Not just aggressive. Oh, well, so let me tell you what I gave him for Christmas, like multiple years ago. And I thought this was like years ago when it was like really huge, like the whole ancestry DNA thing was big, you know? And I thought it would be something would love it. Cause they're into that kind of stuff. I was like, that's a really great idea. I

wouldn't give them both one of those kids. So I did, I spent the money I had it sent to them. And then like a year later we were there and I found both of those same kids that I gave them right in the trash can. Like they didn't even use them. They just threw them right in the trash, but they waited a whole year. They waited. They threw them out while you were there. So she knew you would be seeing that man. Your mother was she a bad ass. They didn't do it because they don't want the government to have their DNA. That's probably why. Yeah. I don't know why, but some people are scared. I thought for sure they would love it. Some people. Yeah, maybe that's what it was.

Because sometimes some people have done that, found out they're married to their cousin. That's probably they're worried about that. There was some murmurs when they got married. Yeah, like kissing cousins. They didn't want that to truth. They didn't want to know. Yeah, there's a there's a lot of folks that figured out they were. And then that explains why your husband is the way that he is.

Well, so that is like my told you, my son and my nephew are like your biggest fans. And they listen to all your episodes like a hundred times. And that's probably their most favorite episode. My nephew, he like drives the tractor all day and he's always telling me he's like talks about the web feet episode. The other one that he always talks about is like the clapping. The way he smiles is like the clapping of the cheeks. Remember when it was, I was, oh, we got to remember kids are listening to this, huh? Miles. They're going to learn

it somewhere. Oh, I know. That's what I told him. I was like, well, you're going to learn this somewhere. You might as well hear it from Charlie and my, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, corrupting Midwest youth since 2008. That's, that's the way it is. That's the way it is. But now my kid, they are calling, they love it. They just love this. Well, we appreciate it. Yeah, we do. How often do you visit these, these mother-in-law father-in-law once a year? Not even that. Oh, like maybe once a year, not very often. They would, see like I used to go there like in our early married days when my kids were young, we would go there, I would go there quite a bit because I wanted them to have a relationship with their family and then they

stopped, then they were like, I realized they were never ever ever coming to see us. And so I was like, all right, I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not going. I'm not driving 14 hours to go spend time with them if they don't want to come see us. So I quit, I quit going. And now we just stop on our way through sometimes and here's like once a year, maybe I got one final piece of advice. So you can try out that I actually have real world experience on. I need you to make a game. I need you to make a game out of it. So I need you to, maybe the game is you with your immediate family, send over under on passive aggressive comments

on how many she's going to say while you're there. And then you count them and make them a fun game on a little bingo. Yeah. Well, bingo, maybe have a bingo card too of stuff. She said in the past, is she going to say something shitty about me running? You know, and then you leave the bingo card. You, once you get a bingo before you leave you, you leave it in the trash. No, you put it on the fridge and then the next time you come, they'll put it in the trash for you to bring back home. Yep. Mee-Maw's passive aggressive bingo is what it would say at the top. Marla. I love that. That's a great idea. You know, it's like when my mom's on a new health kick, right? She, she had a whole year where she loved talking about lectins.

The hell's a lectin? Still don't know what lectins are, but it became a game of how many times you're going to bring up lectins on Christmas, you know, it was kind of fun. Maybe more collect in surgery. Interesting. Mary Kay. How many times are they going to bring up Mary Kay? Exactly.

Exactly. That's like, yeah, it's like people who CrossFit. How many times are they going to bring up CrossFit when you're talking to them, just make a game out of it. That's a great idea. I really liked that. Um, so I had like one other question I wanted to ask you. So my husband's 40th birthday is coming up this year in a couple of months in April. And, um, I, he's like really into like smoking meat. And he has a, he has a smoker. It's a pit boss smoker. And he wants a newer, like he wants an upgraded smoker cause he is like really great at it.

He does a great job. So what is your favorite brand of smoker? Oh, that's a good question. Yeah. Um, I don't smoke a lot of meat. Some more of a grill guy in this. So I will defer to Charlie on this one. Well, I've gone.

Yeah. I saw, you know, when we were kids, used to get these clams, right? Out of Lake Winnebago. And you dig a hole in the trench in the yard a little bit, and then it's a multi-tiered thing, and you get the coals hot underneath, right? And then you put a little grate on top.

And then you get yourself some sort of a contraption to close it up, but you don't necessarily need to do that. But if you got one, that would be good. Like a trough, you can tip over on top of it, you know, poke some holes in the trough and then would you know it after a while, they say those clams can't be eaten, they are wrong. And so I would, uh, do you have a good shovel? Um, I I'm sure he has an out there somewhere. Yeah. I mean, you want to go old

school. That's a nice way to do it. Now, in terms of real, I think he's trying to go less old school. Hey, you just need to, what Charlie just said there, you need to tell your mother-in-law, that's how you guys are smoking meats and she is going to see how this comes full circle. See how this comes full circle. What did I tell you? Just do what Charlie does and says she's gonna love it. Look what I got your husband for his birthday and she'll just see the trench dug out in your yard, you know? And she'll be like, wow, I have, I have misjudged. I was so wrong. This daughter-in-law. I, I have misjudged. I was so wrong. This daughter in law. I, I have misjudged. So I need to get a bracelet that says, what would Charlie do?

That's what I got to do. W W C D. I'm pretty sure. My daughter will make one of those friendship bracelets that says W W C D and I'm going to wear it. Oh, that's great. That's great. It'll never steer you wrong unless it does. Then Miles's idea is what led to it. Like Charlie's second, this whole comedy thing doesn't work out. Charlie, you just need to go work at an old folks home and you will be, they will love you. I've done some shows at old folks homes. They love you don't that Fondlec old folks home. Yeah

FDL To Texas when are you coming to Dallas because you keep saying you're gonna come but we haven't seen it yet I know I did Dallas years and years ago. I gotta get back there I'm figuring that out. I thought we had Texas on the spring run. I guess we didn't. I know we're looking at some Austin days, probably in the fall, I'd say. You know, yeah, time to come back. That is code for he has no fucking clue.

I don't actually. I don't know what I'm doing until I look at my calendar that day. I'm a child. Yeah, Charlie. Rumor is that you're going to be you're dating someone. So you're going to be dating someone that not going child when it comes to that. Yeah, Charlie, rumor is that you're dating someone, so you're going to be dating someone that you're not going to want to come to Dallas anymore. No, that's not true. That's not true. Yeah, I am. Where'd you hear that rumor?

Oh, I guess we talked about it on the podcast, didn't we? Well, the rumor is that you're dating this girl, Laura, and she posted a picture picture because I follow her. And she posted a picture of her boyfriend hiding the face. And so everyone was like, Oh, that's Charlie. Everybody knows that Laura is a very, very dear friend of mine. But, you know, I almost hesitate to even address it, given the fact that all the conspiracy around it

just gets our views going up higher. So, no. So she's not the girl, huh? No, no, no. My girlfriend lives in Columbus, Ohio. Oh, well nice. See when you come to Dallas, Charlie, you can bring her. I will bring her. I'll see. She's Dallas, Charlie, you can bring her. I will bring her.

I'll see. She's a very busy, hardworking gal herself. So she is sometimes she is hard for to come on the road with me, but maybe I can give convince her to Dallas. It's beautiful this time of year, you know? Yeah, no, not today. It's hot. Well, well I'll come when it's beautiful there.

All right. Well, good thing that maybe she'll it's beautiful there, all right? Well, good thing that maybe she'll have a really nice mother in law and she won't have to have the same issue. Yeah, her mom is very nice. Her mom is very nice. Oh, her mother-in-law. Well.

So your mom. Oh, my mom. Your mom. My mom and her get along great. They really do. Oh, great. So yeah. Your grandma Sue, by the way,

is the freaking funniest lady ever. I love grandma Sue. Isn't she a hoot? She is. I love your episodes on your podcast where you have grandma Sue on there. I love it. I really truly do.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Yeah, she's a good time. We're going to the casino. We're supposed to go in the next couple of weeks here. So maybe we'll do another one of them. Yeah, I just listened to that one with Lubricant Lois. Yep, oh, Lubricant Lois. Yep, that's how it goes, folks.

You hang out with the 80-year-olds. They start talking about Lubricant and watching the submarines at Stinky Point. Well, listen, I think we had a really good convo today. I feel like you've got some things to look into, specifically passenger pigeons and donkeys. And worst case scenario, just do Miles's advice. That's what I always say.

I will. I sure appreciate you guys talking to me. And here, I picked up my daughter and she wants to say hi. Oh yeah. Hi, oh my God. Hi, what is your name? My name is Annie. Annie?

Yes sir. Annie. I like that name, that's my wife's name too. Yeah, it's a that name. That's my wife's name too. Yeah, it's a good name. Annie, you help your mom be nicer to your grandma somehow, okay? Annie, would you say that your grandma was really nice to your mom? Oh yeah, she is. Grandma, not my mom, dad's mom. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

All right, well, we've settled it. We see we solved it already. Scratch everything we said, it's all in your head. You've fixed it, no more problems, I guess. There, you know. So don't just say, John. What's that? She just said I've been trying to call you lots of times.

Oh, well we're glad that you finally came through and Annie, be good for your mom, all right? Make sure you do all your chores, okay? Oh, yes, sir. Well, thanks guys, I sure appreciate it. Yeah, watch out for me, old dear, all right? All right, you tell your folks I says hi. Real good, will do.

Tell your mother-in-law we says hi. Charlie, I think we gotta do some shirts. WWCD, maybe some bracelets. It's kind of a WWCD. It sounds like a different kind of chronic wasting disease. Do you have WWCD? If you or somebody you know has been affected with WWCD, call Nikolai Law now. Yeah, class action lawsuit. It's a commercial. It's just like, do you suffer from WWCD?

And then it's just like old people doing stuff Oh people looking at birds like doo doo doo doo music and then at the end it's like sky Rizzi for moderate to severe Just inventing cocktail shit Should take another caller Welcome to the bellied up. Who is calling in today? Hey, this is Stefan, giving you guys a call. How you doing?

Stefan, we're doing good, my man. Stefan. Did I say it wrong? Stefan? No, no, you got it right. Oh. Okay, Stefan, well where you calling in from? What are you up to?

I'm calling from Colorado, and I'm just at work right now. What part of Colorado, Stefan? Uh, Gunnison, it's way up in the mountains, far, far from Denver, from the front range. There you go. Mountain man, Stefan the mountain man. Where do you work at? I work at a university has a custodian, which is kind of a lead into my question for you

guys. Sure. Let's dive into it. All right. So I work as a custodian at a university state job. Very, very nice. Worked my whole life for small businesses. Don't really want to go back to that again. And my wife graduates in and we're looking to move to Michigan. And when I get to Michigan, I do have a set of skills that allows me to work on fireplaces. He's got a very- So I can start my own company. Yeah, I could start my own company and do fireplace repair. And, but I just really don't like dealing with customers. And I know that that's a massive

part of it. And at my state job, as a custodian at the university, I just get to work by myself all day and nobody really bothers me as long as I get my work done. So, all right, let's back it up. Let's back, let's back it up here. You said, you, you said I've been working for small businesses my whole life, which leads me to think he's 50 years old. How old are you? 28, 29, 37. Okay. Okay. Decade off. So you said that your girlfriend or your wife is in school. Yeah. My wife is about to graduate the spring and then we're going to relocate from Colorado to Michigan. Do you work at her school?

I do work at the university. And just a side note, I would, I would, side note, highly recommend anybody to work at a university because the spouses get free college. I knew it. I knew it. That's awesome, dude. I didn't even know that was a loophole you could college. I knew it. I knew it. That's awesome, dude. I didn't even know that was a loophole you could do. That's cool. So you're doing the custodian

and you're getting paid money, but then also her tuition? Hell yeah. Question for you about the custodial job. Do you ever, when you're cleaning up a classroom, do you ever like see an unfinished math problem on the chalkboard and just finish it for funsies? No, but I got a couple other little things that, uh, that they don't mean much to you guys or anything.

It's an inside joke between me and my death brother, but he's got a little thing that I'll always scribble on the whiteboards. What is it? brother, but he's got a little thing that I'll always scribble on the whiteboards around the classrooms. And they, uh, it's E by bow. Oh, shisha bow. It doesn't really mean anything, but like I said, he's deaf. So as English is very slurred and it's just kind of a funny inside joke between them. Well, that's fun. Nice. Michael Scott. Love to meet him someday. What's the weirdest thing you've found being a custodian at the university?

You find any interesting paraphernalia? No paraphernalia that I can recognize myself. I did the gymnasium was renovated a long time ago. And I used the ladder to climb up to a little access port and got in underneath the bleachers. That's all, it's all been renovated underneath the bleachers of the old locker rooms and the old showers and stuff. And none of it's been used for 20, 30 years.

So it was pretty creepy underneath there. And I used to try to ghost hunt in the administration building. There's a big auditorium in there. It's a very old school. I've never had anything happen now, unfortunately. So I'm very, very low key at the university, but that's not to say that there are other people don't have ghost stories from walking around the old buildings And you went into the old locker room you see any like jock straps and stuff. How how abandoned was this thing? No jock straps I went in there because I heard there was toilets in there and as a custodian, you know I got to see how clean they are In there no no no toilets

We need there's not It's all hopped up in there. No toilets. No toilets. This is the kind of custodial work that we need. And empty space. There's not a toilet you won't get at to clean. I like that about you. Anybody can clean what they see. You know, the real custodians get in there and clean what people don't see on a daily basis. What's the most annoying thing people are spitting in the urinals these days? Those fricking Zin packs that everybody likes. There's just always in the standup urinals. And if I could get people to stop just spitting them in there,

it would make my life a lot easier. Why don't you do a side cart? They got them for tampons. Why don't you do a side cart trash can by the urinal and then just right on their Zinn disposal? People would actually, I think, use that. That's, Miles, that's a fantastic plan and I just might bring that up to my boss.

This, ladies and gentlemen. I love that. We interrupt your regularly scheduled Bellied Up podcast to bring you a bellied up PSA. All you Zinfandels out there need to stop spittin' your mouth pillows in the urinals, okay? Hard working men and women are sick of cleaning your shit out of the pisser.

How does that sound? Yeah, that's fantastic. I mean, I'm very lucky, I only deal with the athletes. I'm in the athletic building, but I hear some horror stories that come from the dorm side of my coworkers. And luckily, luckily I'm just assigned a lot of clock shower drains is what I hear. Right. Right. Are the athletes doing the zinnies too? Right. Are the athletes doing the zinnies too? I think so. I think that's about as deep as they go. I don't, you know, intermingle too much with the athletes. They do their thing and I do mine. You know, I let them, let them

win, come away with the dubs and I clean up after, you know. That's what's up and getting that free tuition. I don't, you know, you're talking about having a, so your, your wife wants to move after she graduates. Is that a pretty, like you're doing that or cause it sounds like you got a pretty sweet gig going on. So, and she's going into fish biology and there are some fish up here, but um, but long other story short, we live in a condo, HOA, we don't own any of the land and what we can get for that,

we can buy a small mansion and about a few hundred acres in Michigan. Yeah, you can. So we want to leave Colorado. I've been out here for 20 years. I'm originally from Michigan, but I've lived here for 20 years. The things I love to do when I moved here,

not that into it anymore. Ready to move on to other things. Do some walleye fishing, do some bowfishing. I know miles can relate. I'm getting a little older. The beer's starting to hit a little heavier. So climbing a mountain for four miles, shooting an elk, and then putting it on my back and walking out is a lot less appealing when I'm 37, as opposed

to what I was 18. Yeah. You just got to get a deer stand and fall asleep in it. That's what it's all about these days. That's exactly. Exactly. I was listening to one of your other podcasts. You're coming up with some sort of alarm system to warn you for when deer come around. I might have to get on that. Yeah. Why don't you just get a custodian job in Michigan? Oh, so I want to be a little bit more free. So the thing about the state job that I love

is just off the bat, I get 10 paid holidays. So that's 10 days of the week. I don't got to come in and I get paid. And then I get nine paid vacation days. That's basically an entire month out of the year off the bat, I'm getting paid to not come into work. Yeah. So that's pretty nice. And, but with I have another friend who started his own fireplace business who I used to work with, he broke off and started his own company, based about the same level of knowledge and experience. And he does very, very good for himself. Um,

doing, you know, just fixing gas, fireplaces, doing chimney sweeps, you know, I'm sure lots of wood burning fireplaces in Michigan. Um, you know, if I can make a couple hundred bucks, I want you to ask him though, how many paid holidays does he get? As if he, um, I go hunt, I go out hunting with him and he didn't want to work during it so he just didn't schedule any appointments for two weeks. But he's not getting paid. So yeah but the money that he makes up while he is working is enough for him to kind of take a two-week vacation kind of whenever he wants to. If I work for somebody, then you know I get into the whole

having to plan the PTO and stuff. And if I work for myself, if I can make enough money, then I could just you know, hey I want to drive to Colorado for two weeks and go elk hunting, I can just leave. Dude, you're sitting pretty man. You're moving to Michigan with your wife who's a freaking fish biologist. She's going to tell you the best walleye spots, spots you didn't even know when you grew up there. That's awesome. And you're going to have your own fireplace business. That's great.

The big problem, you don't want to talk to people. So that's, you just, you talk to people initially. You got to talk to people initially, figure out, you know, deal with the chatty Cathy's, the whatnot. You're from Michigan. You know how to do it. And then eventually you get good enough, you hire some fella, you know,

to do all the chit-chatting for ya. But I don't think you're gonna get around talking to folks when you're in their house in the Midwest. You walk into somebody's house to do their fireplace, you're gonna be eating their cookies, you're gonna be chit chatting with them about their day. I don't think you're gonna get away from that unless you bring your guy there on site

to handle all the small talk. Yeah, that's not bad. I don't mind the small talk. It's just, like I said, I worked in the customer service for a long time too at some dispensaries and stuff. And it's just, I want to get away from the somebody just wanting something from you. And I know that's basically the exact opposite of what a business owner, because the business owner provides the service. So yeah, I just need to say, you know, I know you're, this is what happens. There's a lot of, uh,

business owners that go, Hey, if I can just get to this point, then I can take my two week vacation. But what I, the thing I would say against business ownership, it's hard to turn it off, right? It's hard to do a vacation, and Charlie, you know this, without thinking about work at all, where I imagine now it's pretty easy on when you're taking your vacation and not even think about those toilets under the bleachers at all.

So that's something to think about too, the mental work that goes into owning your own business, it's tough to turn off. Are we just gonna blow past the fact they worked at a dispensary? I just figured. We don't have to blow past. We don't have to metaphorically blow past anything.

I just figure everyone who lives in Colorado has worked at a dispensary at some point. I suppose. I suppose. It's a lot more hype. It's a lot more hype than what you think it would be. But it's not a bad job, but I'm glad that I left the entire industry as a whole.

How many times have you had to answer the question? Yeah, so what's going to get me high, but not paranoid? Oh my gosh, I don't even want to go there. What's going to get me high, but not like put me to- Well, it's the highest THC. Just give me the highest THC percentage. They come back a day later. This sucks. Well, you just asked me the worst question that you could have asked me.

What questions should people be asking when they walk into a dispensary? I always like to just guide people off of smell. Like if you smell something and it you know, cues everything in your brain, then that just go with that. You know, if you smell something and you go, eh, maybe not that one. So smell something else and go with that one. I like that. That's actually how dating goes.

It's all, it's all, right? You guys laugh, but that's how pheromones work, Charlie. You think I'm joking. No, it's serious I'm not a buddy. So a buddy of mine went to this party completely Unrelated anything he was dating and I forget where but they did a fair moan party where you would wear your shirt for a day without deodorant and put it in a bag and Then you would go around and smell the bags. And that's how you selected your partner. Was it just off that you selected them like a deer?

How did that go? That's a very intriguing experiment. Yeah. I mean, I haven't showered today. You want to smell? No, no. Um, I don't think he's with the gal, but you know, I don't remember. You will gotta choose your weed like I choose your your date yeah just give them a sniff test or how you choose just find out you go ahead just find out what you like and grow it yourself there it is I don't think I can put my sample of approval on that advice here in North Dakota. I mean, it's a... You can grow weed in North Dakota. Sorry, cut you off. You get enough charcoal filters and you can grow anything.

Sage wisdom right there. So what do you think? You think you're gonna deal with the little customer service you gotta do and be a fire place man? Chimney sweep? Yeah, I think and be a fireplace man, chimney sweep? Yeah, I think I might go back to the chimney sweep just because the idea of making my own schedule and all of that is very appealing to me.

And if I can just kind of make, and I'm not going to get into the details of it, but being a custodian isn't the most lucrative conditions on the planet. And I think that you got to, when I try and make a tough decision, I first look at, well, what's the worst case scenario? Worst case scenario, you start up this business, you don't make any money and you can go be a custodian again, right? Right. Yeah, true. I mean, I've been looking at a lot of places that are hiring for custodians. So I definitely

get in it. I got more than enough experience. Yeah. And the upside is you start your own business. It goes really well and you're living the real business owner life. You get vacation, all that stuff. So might as well give it a try. That sounds like a pretty good plan. I think I might go along with that. You should come up with the Santa Claus package where you make their chimneys wide enough. Dude, we just looked it up,

and the University of Michigan is hiring a custodian right now. Oh, we got your backup plan right here. Well, that's where my wife wants to go to grad school, so I'll get a job as a custodian there. She goes to grad school for free. There you got it, man. Well we got to make sure he qualifies. You must have a high school diploma or GED. You got those? Absolutely. Ability to effectively communicate and follow

instructions from coworkers, supervisors, customers, and facility managers. Oh yeah. This next one is huge. Okay. I wanted to read it. This might be the linchpin of the whole thing. Do you have the ability to wear a backpack vacuum for up to eight hours a day? How's your sciatica? It's fantastic, man. Like I said, I'll put on a backpack and go hiking up a mountain to carry an out down. So, Oh yeah. Say that in the interview, dude. Say that in the interview. This Michigan, they're going to be so impressed. They're going to be like, Oh yeah. How big was that out? You got there. Is that like our white tails? And you're going to be like bigger and then that'll be fun. Right. What else miles ability to effectively clean, maintain areas that are located in

various positions, including several feet off the floor, close to the floor and under around obstacles. Oh yeah. I already do that. Perfect. One of the responsibilities, basic custodial duties, including cleaning restaurants, picking up debris on the floor, cleaning offices, and finishing math problems

on the chalkboard. And it sounds like you got all those boxes checked. And also take zins out of urinal. Got that too. Yeah, that's, yeah, circle it back to the beginning. Zins out of of urinal. Got that too. Yeah, that's, yeah. Circle it back to the beginning. Zins out of the urinal. Let's not forget that. All right. Benefits. Do we have a free tuition here? I'm not seeing it.

Yeah. And, and grad school is different from undergrad. So, huh, you might want to call and make sure your first question isn't, can we go to school here for free? Right. Yeah. The university that I work for now did not offer free grad school for spouses, but they just changed it last year to allow that. Oh, well, there you have it.

Unfortunately, unfortunately the school does not offer a master's program in biology so she cannot do that here. The university of Michigan really hates regular vacuums. There's another thing about that. You need to be able to use a vacuum back to a backpack. So I mean it's, you might have to brush up on your backpack vacuum skills, but miles. I use a backpack vacuum on a daily basis, man. I get to pretend I'm a ghost buster. I just, I just buff the dirt off of the floor. That's awesome. Hey, the, the, the, the professor say, who are you going to call? You're going to call Stefan the custodian. Stefan the custodian.

Is there any job you have to cross streams with to clean up you and another custodian? Just crossing streams. Is that how you get the Zins out of the urinal? I keep going back to that. Only, uh, no, we don't ever have to cross streams. Do you guys have a pair of Zin tongs in your little cart to pull them out of the urinal? Uh, you know, I got, uh, some, uh, the latex gloves that I wear and I'll just, you know, I'll flush it a couple of times and then I use the toilet cleaner, clean it all out. And then I'll just pick them out with my hands cause you know, whatever. You got to invest in one of those dinosaur clampers.

It's just a rubber glove. Yeah. Oh, I got those too, but I use those for something else. We'll talk about that on a different podcast. I think the University of Michigan, the guy who invented backpack vacuums must've graduated from there or something. They put it in there like five times.

Probably put that in his will there. Well, man, thanks for coming. What'd you say? Oh, if I'm moving back to the Midwest, I gotta get used to this Midwest capacity. We got at least 15, 23 more minutes. Yeah. I'm sure that all the callers waiting on the line will love that from you. Hey, I got paid for, for, uh, to wait and it was great. You know, I was

just hanging out, scrubbing the floor, taking a little cleaner, clean the bleachers. There's a big track event coming up. Got to make sure, get, get the inside scoop on what schools have what lanes lay down some greaser, keep it going, you know, get the edge home field advantage is a term not to be taken loosely. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Turn up the heat in the visitors locker room, stuff like that. Yeah. Plus I'm gonna get a call from the NCAA now. The NCAA is a sham anyway. I know. You're going to talk to you. It's our quarterback. We don't see them.

Yeah. I could have went pro, but the NCAA fucked me. So, well now they got all the deal. Even if you're division two, you can make money off. Yeah. I could have made like 400 bucks a year. Well, imagine now that you're famous, imagine the Jersey shirt, Jersey sales,

that have to go back and they'd be just printing off my pleasure jersey like nothing. Wow, look at that. He got the pronunciation right and everything. Yeah, that was close. Montezoo. All right, well. Long time listening to First Time Caller.

Yeah. Well. Thank you. Well, I gotta go home for lunch, so I gotta get, I gotta do sk first time caller. Yeah. Well. Thank you. Well, I gotta go home for lunch, so I gotta do skedaddling. All right. All right, be good now. Thanks for calling in, Guy.

Yeah, no problem. Well, thanks for taking my call and convincing me to start my own business. So if you guys have any fireplace questions, don't hesitate to give me a call. All right, sounds good, man. Alright, sounds good man, see ya. Alright, see ya guys. Nice guy.

Good guy. Nice guy. I feel like he actually seems like a guy that'd want to sit around and drink beers with you. He's got a good sense of humor. Yeah, yeah. He's got ideas, ambitions, you know. He can work a freaking backpack vacuum.

God bless him. Folks, spring is starting to warm up. Spring has sprung. Spring is sprung. Bring it in and get it done with some tippy cow. Do you like that rhyme? I did their mouths a little chocolate shake tippy cow. When the weather starts getting warmer, I'm looking always for a nice cold glass of something. And I think we found it. I think we did.

I think that's my favorite way to drink Tippy cow is just pour it over ice suck it on down and enjoy the nice weather And when I'm driving down those Wisconsin roads, and I see those cows. I don't just say hey, there's a cow. I say hey Thanks cow. Thanks for the tippy cow. Cheers. Oh Bellied up is presented folks by Nicolet Law. You see it right here on the old sneezer box. Trust the flannel clad experts for your legal needs from Wisconsin to North Dakota. They've got you covered. Stay safe. But if trouble strikes Nicolet, they got your ass folks. Visit nicolaylaw.com.

Or just drive. Drive and you'll see them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're driving, you can't go two miles in Wisconsin without seeing the Nicolay billboard. You got it. You see the beard, you see the sun goggles. We should throw that into our Midwest starter pack, Charlie.

What's that? Nicolay billboards. That would be nice. Now that would be a starter pack, Charlie. What's that? Nicolet billboards. That would be nice. Now that would be a big pack, but we'll make sure to use a ratchet strap to secure it all. Yeah. Let's take some callers.

Yellow, here you are, bellied up podcast. What's your name? Hello, I'm Patrick. Patrick? Yeah. Hi, Patrick. I met you. Patrick? Yeah. Hi Patrick. I met you at the, hi. I met you at the show in Cedar Falls, Iowa.

Oh yeah, Cedar Falls. Nice of you to call in on this sucker. That's cool. What have you been doing since I saw you at the show? Nothing much. Good. Hell yeah. Well, why'd you at the show? Not too much. Good. Hell yeah. Well, why'd you call in today?

Yeah, Patrick, what's on your mind? Well, well, I actually have a list of what I'm calling in for. What'd you write it on, Patrick? Oh, on the note staff. Okay. Okay. Um, one of them is how to be less awkward and survive in middle school.

So you're a middle schooler? Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, Charlie, were you an awkward middle schooler, Charlie? You know, I was a little bit of an awkward middle schooler and Patrick, it's perfectly okay bit of an awkward middle schooler and Patrick, it's perfectly okay to be an awkward middle schooler.

What grade are you in specifically? Um, I'm an eighth eighth grade. Shouldn't you be at school right now? When does school get done? Um, at three Oh five. Oh, so you're in the clear. There you go. There you go.

All right. What is your after school activity? Nothing. I usually just feed the dog and just stuff like that. Okay. That's cool. Yeah. Well the dog you got. Yeah. A golden retriever named Murphy. Murphy. I had a dog named Murphy once. Patrick, he was a boy. Yeah, he was a bird dog. He is a what he sound. What does bark sound like? Is it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's what you sound like. What your dog bark sound is. What what your dog bark sound is it was your dog bark sound It's more like a buff or something like that. Let's hear it

That's more like the Joker I think yeah It is like the Joker what does he say when he does that oh Yeah, this is why the Joker says it like like I'm like a dog like if I caught one yeah, what would I do with a car if I caught it? with a car if I caught it. Anyway, Patrick, we're being weird. You know, we're just doing it. I think you embrace your awkwardness, you know? Why do you do you get do kids tease you for being awkward, Patrick?

Not really. I'm six foot right now, so I could probably just step on the people if they're being mean. There you go. Put them in a headlock. There you go. There you go See I was six feet in eighth grade too, and then I stopped growing so I know where you're at you play any sports I do some cross country and I'm doing tracks this year. Nice. Cool. High jumping No, no field just track. There you go. There you go. I like it. Now, one thing I remember about middle school is I know that it feels like it's really, really

important, but whatever happens in middle school, it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. No, what happens in middle school doesn't matter. What happens in high school doesn't matter. What happens in college doesn't matter. Nothing matters, Patrick. You gotta don't even care. Well, let's have a little more uplifting that nothing matters. Oh, sorry. I forgot to lie. Everything matters, Patrick. You know, make sure you study hard and get your grades up. What kind of guy are you? got good grades, you good, you good at sports or you kind of middle of the road? Um, I'm a fairly smart, like with books and stuff, I have straight A's, but with sports, um, uh, they, uh, you might as well just put me in the corner with the coloring

book with the coloring book. With the coloring book? Maybe you're more of a statistician than you are a starting point guard. Yeah. There you go. We need someone keeping book. Yeah. Yeah, you do.

Yeah. You're the guy who's like sitting there doing the things in the stands at the baseball game. You know? Yeah. Yeah. There you go. That's with a crayon. Now, one thing to remember is getting good grades.

Getting good grades is fun and all. It's great. Should get good grades. Don't remember to get a good grade in the, in the subject of common sense as well. Make sure that you're not got your nose too much in the subject of common sense as well. Make sure that you're not got your nose too much in the books. Get some street smarts too. Well that's another problem. It feels like I'm surrounded by idiots at school. Yeah, but that's like it might be a little good. Yeah, I mean, you're really smart, so everyone's going to seem kind of like

idiots and probably Charlie and I sound like babbling idiots to you right now. Yeah, yeah. I would have been the kid not doing so well. Well, why do you think you're awkward, Patrick, if if you're trying to be less awkward, what makes you think you're awkward at all? Well, I'm not sure. It's kind of like I'm I stutter once in a while. It's not like a serious thing. Yeah. That's okay. And I'm raised by my mom. She just suggested a sweet thing. Not a good dancer.

So that might be a clue. Wait, your mom said you're not a good dancer? She wants to be funny. Oh, is your mom sitting there? Uh, yeah. Yeah, get her on the line. We saw you in Cedar Falls. That was a great show.

Thank you. Thanks for coming out to that. We're helping Patrick be less awkward. And that he's off to a great start. He hasn't been awkward on here at all. Yeah, he hasn't been awkward at all. He thought he was awkward. And yeah, and You might remember me because I met you after the show

You signed my old hat. I was and Like that teal was what sure yes, I also got So you also what? Yeah, and I also got a T-shirt signed. Yes, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, it's good, I'm glad you. So guys, I wanna point this out. Patrick is a drummer, so I think that's pretty cool. Patrick, that's bad ass, dude.

You can't bury the lead there. I play percussion in middle school and it's just because I can't play an actual instrument. Alright, no, no. Here's a life lesson for you. Life is all about marketing. You don't say you play percussion in middle school. You say you're a drummer because drummers sound cool. Right? No, no, but in seventh grade year, I got the triangle. I only got no, that's a big, that's what's at. We all hope our fingers as triangles for Patrick. He said he plays the triangle plays a triangle and his family, his family does this. They hold up the,

played the truck. No, no. They still call me triangle boy. You got to own it, dude. You got to start up your own tick tock channel called the triangle boy and just play different songs on tick tock on the triangle. You'll go viral. Yeah. That's a great idea. You just, yeah. You just got to own the triangle boy and then, and then all the other families in the stands when you're playing your triangle as your family's holding up the triangles with their hands, they're going to just think you guys are in the Illuminati. They won't mess with you anyways. That's true.

Yeah. And I'm also known as the Tetris King because I played Tetris on my computer at school. And I like every round, I get a high score of like a hundred lines. So Patrick, you are preparing yourself for adulthood when you have to pack the car. So yeah. So what, what, what, what town are you guys from? If you don't mind me asking Cedar falls Cedar falls.

No, we drove in the falls. We live in Mason city. Oh, Mason city. Okay. So it'd be like his WWE walkout, right? Yeah. He's from Mason city. He's six feet tall. He may have a tiny bit of a stutter, but I'm not going to start her when I say he's the percussion master. He is the king of Tetris. He is the one, the only triangle. So as long as you own it and you got good marketing around it you can do anything Yeah and Also, what you know how you what? Why do what the podcast that different bars? I have a few bar Suggestions for you here Mason city

One of them is the Laredo's. They have great wings. And there's the Moose Lodge, which is basically like a bar for old people. It's fairly empty. It's a dive bar, Patrick. Well, Mom, you've got to be proud that he knows the list of all the good bars in town in the eighth grade. I love that. Oh, she left.

She's already disappointed. She didn't like my intro? That's when she left. Oh, she was there for the intro and then she left. There's a person doing the wiring here at our house. So she's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one.

She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one. She's going to check out the first one.. There's a person doing the flooring here at our house. So she's going to check out the flooring. Yeah, she said something about life being too short

and cheesed it out of there. Yeah. Patrick, do you have any other questions on your notes app for us? Well, when I was writing it, you, what answered us. So the other one is, uh, my sister is extremely moody. So, and how old is she? Uh, she's, uh, she's a 15. Uh, she's the type of person to say 15 and a half. Patrick, I think you got a future as being a stand-up comic.

I think you got that in you. Yeah, you just own the whole Triangle Boy stuff. The King of Tetris talking about your sister. You got a whole set in front of you. Yeah, that's a great joke. My sister is the kind of person who says she's 15 and a half. She's 15, but she's the kind of person that says she's 15. Well, you gotta remember at her age, she's figuring it out and hormones and all that stuff.

So maybe give her some slack. Yeah, cut your sister some slack. We're sure you're gonna do that as soon as you get off this phone call too. Yeah. Some stuff that she has, like she has a headache and then she's like, no, I'm driving because she has your learner's permit. And then she's like, well, then she's like, well, you can drive this. You think it's so easy and stuff like that.

Yeah, a little snarky comments here and there. Yeah. Yeah, that's what sisters are for though, I think. That's their job. Yeah. Yeah, just teaching me patience. That's another one. Dude, you're killing it, man. Listen back to this episode.

You've already written your first 10 minute set here. No, I hate the sound of my own voice, so I'm going to find out how long this conversation was and lent all my Alexa to skip that amount. Patrick, listen, everybody hates the sound of their own voice early in their life, all right? So just listen back, it'll be funny. Start off that triangle boy TikTok. I think that'll be real good for you. Okay. Yeah. And another thing is I, um, uh, another time I called in, uh, um, I was on hold for an hour. You got changed the music.

Like you guys are great thinkers. So just do a compilation of Bohemian Rap City. Yeah. And you got to have old songs where the singers are already dead so they can't complain. Well, why don't you do up a triangle rendition for us and we'll slap that on as the whole music. Yeah. You'll get a lot of royalties.

Yeah, I'm just going to play Journey and that's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,, you got comedy talent, I mean, what can't you do? Yeah, you're a straight A student, you're six foot. Man, you got a bright future ahead of you, my guy. Oh, great, now I'm in my room and I have the signed T-shirts and hats. So I think, what should I do with it? Should I just, I have two closets, so should I turn the second closet into a shrine or what should I do?

I like that. I'll do a shrine. You got to get some sign from Miles. Miles will send something over. Yeah, that'll be nice. Yeah, that'll be nice. Oh, you can just go to Mason City, go to Laredo's. We'll decide a day. Mom, are you recording? Your mom's recording you this for your reel, man.

Hey, mom's back in the room? Yep. Hi, guys! So how proud are you of... You gotta come closer. He got all of his awkwardness from me. So there you go bud. You're welcome.

You're welcome. Mom, are you proud that your eighth grader knows all the good bars in town? Is that your doing? You know, we do it. That's my dad. It's your dad. But you know, we have to decide on the best wings. It's all about the wings.

Yeah, and Laredo's, they have some of the best ranch. There's a pizza place that has Napoleon's Neapolitan style pizza, and their ranch is like a more like still ranch. Oh yeah. And then there's a mall that's almost abandoned. You have abandoned malls in Wisconsin too? Yeah. You go, do you go splunking around there, the abandoned mall?

Well, at the abandoned mall, well, there's only, uh, there's, uh, just a few things keeping it alive. Um, uh, a place called the porch porch cage bar and grill, uh, act drawing place, uh, a hot hearing and then not type of place. Well sounds like we gotta come to town, man. When we come to town to do bellied ups, we'll be taking this into consideration quite a bit.

All right? Appreciate that. No, we could meet up on a certain day, yeah, at the bar. Yeah, then we could see that triangle performance in person. Bring the triangle. Bring the jokes, Patrick. Bring your mom and bring your sister. I want to hear your sister. I want to hear you roast your sister. Of course you want to see my mom. Your sister wants to be your mom. No, of course you want to see my mom. Charlie, what the hell man? Patrick's just throwing me under the bus. Yeah. It came in thinking that Patrick was,

you know, being bullied or something at school. Now I'm wondering if Patrick is bullying at the school. Is that what's going on here, Patrick? No. Good. No, well, at, for the lunch line, the seventh graders come in front of me. Like, yeah, I don't have an Emmy to step on them. Like, even though I want to. You're the gentle giant, my guy.

You're the gentle giant. Well, listen, we're gonna keep her moving here, but do me a favor. Tell your mom I says hi, okay? And your dad too. Go to Laredo's. Laredo's, we got it my guy, thank you for calling in. See ya. Watch for deer now.

Nice kid. His parents must own Laredos. They? Really plugging Laredos. Really pushing that hard. I think if he just owned the triangle thing, people, you know, get behind it. I think he already bought that TikTok.

I think we can see a lot of good things coming from Patrick. That's my hunch. Well, Charlie. Miles, another great episode. Hey, folks, don't forget, tip your bartender, okay? We'll see you in the next one. Bye-bye.