Bellied Up - Ruining a Family Wedding #62

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

Our first caller is a passenger princess and gives us the 3 things that are essential for a car ride (the driver princess also chimes in). Next caller did the impossible and found a use for the plywood in his garage, Last caller needs some tips for officiating his brother's wedding. Get yourself a ⁠"Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens"⁠ Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click Here

Hi friends. Hello, hi, hi family. Hello friends. It's me Charlie, barons. Um, and this is my buddy Miles Mont Pleizio. Multi, we're all pleasure. We we, we are the hosts of the Belly, up podcast and we are here on who's on third and Milwaukee. And I don't know. Oh, but what's it? I don't know. Who's on third? Oh, wow. What? I forget.

I don't know what is it again? What's the? What's his name is on second? Oh, yeah, what's his name's on second? Oh, who's on third? What? Yeah, it goes on. So, you know, they did it better the first time we don't, we don't, we don't actually just watch that video recently did you yeah

yeah I couldn't remember but here we are who's on third vibes are good hustling a bustling here on a Tuesday yes yes there is a lot of hustle there's a lot of bustling there's just two fellas in between and that's you am just living in the chaos here miles how How you feeling? You doing good, pal? You know, I actually, I'm feeling really, really good right now. I stayed in a hotel last night and my back is feeling great. You don't hear that very often do you? No, no, really the opposite.

What I tell, are you standing, shouted out, I'm free publicity, has taken out a sponsor. Oh, we talk about this. Can we talk about this for a put? Well, hold on. Okay. I splurged a little bit. Oh, can we talk about this? Can we talk about this for a while? Well, hold on. Okay. I splurged a little bit. Oh, okay.

And I'm staying at the Homewood Suites. So I got myself a suite. I know you got a kitchenette. It's got a fridge. It's got two rooms in it. Tell you what, Charlie, I thought, hey, I'm be living in comfort. I'm staying at the homewood suites

when I get to Milwaukee and that's where I stand. You guys might hear a funny story. I was at a rooftop. Oh yeah. I was at a rooftop eating some dinden last night. What could you see from the rooftop? I saw, there it was. In all it's, first of all,

Miles is like, I'm staying at the homewood suites. I'm like, where the hell is that? I don't know where that is. And then I'm sitting there at this rooftop in dinner and I look up and I see sure as shoot on the top of this building says, homewood sweet. So they say, oh, that's it. And we're not talking that he's right now.

He's across the highway from this, like the big overpass bridge and everything. Across the highway, that's correct. Probably a half a mile away at least. About that. And so I took a video and I realized that miles where are you and I zoom in on the windows, which is probably creepy, you know, in retrospect. But don't

where you couldn't see anything. But And then I texted you and said I'm actually on the corner you just zoomed in on. I'm going to turn my flashlight on my phone because I could see that it was right where like it was half of my window. So just standing there, you couldn't see me. So what I did is I took my flashlight, turning on, I held it above my head and I waved it like I was at a Taylor Swift concert.

And then I just zoomed in and you can just hear me dumb found him. And it might have been the dumbest thing we've ever done. I mean, you know, let's, we, it's probably the fourth dumbest thing that we've ever done. But still it's up there. It is up there. It was super fun. We had a great time. You know, this is what 30 plus looks like, I guess I go to my hotel room and I turn my flashlight on and just wave it at the window and it's the best time ever. We could go out drinking the night or we could just communicate via cell phone.

Yeah, it's basically a modern day smoke signal across across the highway. Yeah. Um, anyway, though, you were talking about sleeping there. Your back's feeling good. We haven't even had it back issues. Well, so I think my bed at home, I need to get a new one because this is the situation. What is it? Again, I need to get a new one because this is the situation. Again, I turned 30 years old. Yeah. I wake up in the morning, back hurts.

But then I go about my day. I mean, you saw me playing pickleball yesterday. I was limber. I was feeling good and grooving, man. Then I wake up in the morning at home, boom, back hurts. But I woke up this morning in a hotel and my back didn't hurt. It's usually the opposite, you know, we're sitting hurting on your back, right in the middle,

right in the middle, dead center. Ah, now do you have good Lumbar support on all your chair? Well, I shouldn't know. And so my brother and law and sister in law, so Anne's brother and his wife is a chiropractor. And when we bought her bed, it was never good. She's like, oh, what'd you buy? And I told her and she goes, oh. And I was in on, and you know, my personal,

I'm like, it's gonna be great. No, you don't, oh, you're a chiropractor. You don't know anything about backs is what I'm thinking in my head. Yeah, right. Sure shit. Couple years later. Took a couple of years. Yeah, a couple years. Yeah, I'm hurt my back now. So what kind of mattress? Throw my hand up

straight in the air. Say I was wrong. She was right. I should never question the car tractor on back issues. You have the backs out like part of the bed can go up and no, no, no, okay. And so I think it's time I got to get. So if you were looking for a new mattress, I got a good one for you. What is it? I don't know. It's one that came in a box and that was a big, that was a big red flag. Oh, because it came in a box. Yep. She said, do not buy the beds in a box. Oh, I had a bed on a box for a minute. And what do you think of it? Not great on the back. I mean, I'm going to the chiropractor. So here we go. Have you ever been to the chiropractor?

I have been to the chiropractor. What do they put you on the table? And like, su, su, su, and it. Do they do that? Do what, what's your favorite thing that they crack on you? My back.

Well, what part of your back? I don't know, dude. I don't know what they're doing. They're putting me in weird positions and jumping on me and back's cracking. I walk out of there feeling like a million bucks. I just went there for the first time last week and the way they crack your neck is like, okay.

So I get a little nervous about that. I get so nervous. But they do it in such a way that it's so quick, you can't, you know, tend to find it. So I find it. Classic movies are, I'm gonna do it on three. One, do it on one. I'd never see a coming ever. Yeah

Now I'm gonna start to look out for that, but I do always wonder I'm like man I that's how like you break someone's neck in the movies, you know They've got my life in their hands. Yeah, but it's you know with comes with great response But are great power comes great responsibility sounds good Uncle Ben Right. Power comes great responsibility. Sounds good, Uncle Ben. Appreciate that. Um, but so it's just never good when the hotel bed is better than your bed at home.

No. Did you ask him downstairs? What kind of bed there? I should be like, what are you guys doing with those beds? You know what? Usually they'd be like, Oh, sorry. Was it not? I'm like, no, it's great.

They never hear that. All you got to do miles is take off the sheets and pull the tag. Yeah, I don't think I want to see what the actual mattress looks like. Do you ever do this? Don't ask, don't tell situation with what the stains of the mattress look like. So I just took off my pillowcase for the first time in a while. And all my lord and my sweat and up the store looks like I pissed on the pillow. You know, I mean, it's crazy. I'm sweating up the storm on the pillow. You know, I mean, it's crazy. I'm sweating up the storm on this pillow. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Cause yeah, it's like the oil of your skin goes through the pillow case. Oh my gosh. I'm like, what these are like this pillow, not that old. Did you know my mom told me this, you're supposed to actually put a cover over your pillow, then the pillow case. So I'm supposed to have a double condom on that pillow. Yeah. Double wrap it. Yeah, so I did that and this is what I'm telling you I pulled off

Is that I'm pulling off the thing that I is usually just on there over the pillowcase But it's seeped through both of them. Oh, no, I must be a Well, that's because you never watch your hair. I knew it was gonna come back because you never shampoo your hair I knew it was gonna come back to that well, man And you know what? Why don't you look at your pillow and you tell me what it's looking like? No, it's the same, dude.

It's, I'm with you. Yeah, we should post pictures of our pillow. That's very vulnerable. Post-it bare pillow picks, raw pillow, you know. I don't think I wanna. I kinda wanna see yours in the whole, okay. All right. Next time I'm over at your house.

Next time I'm in part-off. next time I'm over at your house. I'm next time I'm in part all next time we cuddle at my house. You all take off the pillowcase and you just check it out show me just for a little bit Yeah, yeah Yeah, so I'm in the market for a new bed is all I've decided this weekend if nothing comes out of this week It's that I need a new bed. I purchased a bed once kind of got it through my brother He was in the bed distribution business. So I got it at a discount. It's kind of got it through my brother. He was in the bad distribution business. So I got it at a discount. It's a temperedic.

I think is that it? No, not temperedic. It's a. Oh, no. No, I got what's someone where they rotate? They're the head comes up or. That's a fancy. Yeah, shit.

Posteropedic. I don't know. Temperedic, post-reptic. I don't know the name. Anyway, I had a story It's just so heavy that the only person that need these beds are the people who move these beds, you know Like it me and my cousin did it and that's honestly the reason we both have bad bags It's like

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy both of us have back issues from beds, but for different reasons. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Um, I heard about a bed that it will actually automatically tilt you up if it senses that you're snoring. Oh, well, that sounds like something you could use. Hey, what? Why'd you look at my gut when you said that? I did not. You want to see what he went? Well, that sounds like something you could use. I saw that. I did not. I didn't. Maybe I did, but you know, you've also talked to me about your snoring in the past.

Yeah. I'm working on it. I was talking to me about it. Yeah. Actually, Anne pulled me aside the other day and she said, how do I stop the snoring? I said, it's very simple. You take a pillow and you put it over his head for an extended period of time. And then boom, you get a lot of money. I assume you have life insurance. I got, I got to set up. She's going to be all right. That's

good. Well, at some point, you got to give her a break from the snoring. Otherwise, how does he know my pattern? How do you know my pattern? I snuck into the homewood sweet so last night. I knew what room you were in. And I was like, I thought I saw a shadow we figure in our bedroom last night. That was a nightmare. You're fine. That was just me just looking, just hearing. That's something like an audio nightmare at homewood sweets. Oh, that is a good one. Yeah. Maybe we should pitch it, get a few free nights stay there. Yeah. Yeah.

They got great beds. I'd be down for that. Yeah. Well, guys, I think about that time, just if anyone else is out there is having bed issues, just know you're not alone. So I'm in the market and can't wait to get home to go shopping. So well, Charlie, should we take some collars or what? I think that's a good idea.

All right, let's do it. Hello, who do we got on the line? Hi, this is Lauren calling from North Carolina. Lauren from North Carolina, how you doing today? I'm doing great, how are y'all? We're doing good, we're belly it up to the bar, having a few beers. Charlie, how are you feeling? I'm feeling good, Lauren. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling grand.

So, why don't you belly up to the bar with us? Tell us what's on your mind. Yeah, what's cooking? I have two questions. If that's all right, would you guys? Oh, please. The first question I have is I want to know from y'all's opinion, what makes the good passenger princess? Like what are the snacks that they need to have on standby? What are the tunes? But I want to hear it from y'all.

What makes the good? Okay. So first of all, we need you for the folks listening to, I want you to give us the definition of a passenger princess for us. So in my opinion, I feel like everyone has their own definition of a passenger princess, but mine would be, so they give the driver a snack if they get hungry, they adjust the AC, they adjust the radio, usually the passenger princess

will have a blanket, reading a book, doing some coloring. So they're just like on standby for whatever the driver needs and they're just chilling, living their best life. They usually have a family cup and maybe a ice coffee or two. There you go. I mean, I would so in my vernacular, I'd just it the co-pilot, but I like passenger princess. That's a good term for it. Yeah, anyway, you cut this. This is gonna be pretty,

it's a very important part of the car ride scenario. You know, the proper co-pilot or passenger princess will make or break a road trip. That is for sure. So my question is, are you the designated passenger princess and when you go on road trips? Is that yeah, I mean, I feel like that's my designation for almost the rest of my life pretty much. So me and my husband have been married for a year now, but we've

been together going on six years. And, you know, he just wants to pamper me, so he never lets me drive. I like to argue and say he doesn't like my driving, hence why I will forever be a passenger princess. So yeah, that's kind of the role that I feel fulfilled in our marriage. Do you want to drive?

Not really, I mean, I'm okay with it. I mean, there are really. I'm okay with it. I mean, there are sometimes where I'm maybe like, sometimes I just want to drive to drive, but honestly, as soon as I get into the driver's seat, and then he starts to act and driving me. I'm like, yeah, that was in the state. I just need to stick in my lane over passenger princess. So you're saying he's not a very good passenger princess is what it sounds like. He is not, but he does. He is the better driver. I will admit to that. He is the

better driver. Okay. And you guys are playing to your strengths. I like it. That's a good sign of a good marriage right there. Well, and before Charlie and I weigh in, I want to hear what you think. What is the best? What is the top three things every passenger princess should be doing? Top three things. I would say having the proper snackage. So for me, I think that's the combination of the sweet and salty snacks. So for example, I recently went to a beach trip and I packed some some cherry items and some fresh fruit. Wow. So you gotta have that good concentration of cool and salty.

Yeah, it sounds like some healthy options in there too. I mean, we're talking way more than just your standard fruit roll ups and that. I was like in the mix nuts from a gas station is what I was thinking. But yeah, you're doing a whole shark good reset up. Yeah. Well, that's and you guys will appreciate that. So my husband is also a dear hunter and he recently smoked his own

deer jerseys. So that was definitely included on the road trip. I love that. I mean, this is I'm starting to play with it. Yeah. Good for good for you guys. Okay. So food is definitely your'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. different podcasts. So definitely a really good podcast and listen to y'all I just always brains our day because it's just so lighthearted and it's just a really good time. Oh, well, we appreciate that. We weren't out here fishing for compliments, but we caught a couple. Look at that.

Thank you. Uh, okay. So food and then DJ podcast, and or music. And now the third most important in your opinion. The third one is making sure that the driver is paying attention to the director. I wish a lot of fun moments where we might have missed a couple turns. So while the driver is focusing on driving, that's half of your princess better be prepared for when they need to relay to the driver that it turns coming up. Yep, in point four miles, you're going to want to exit here. It's always good to do, right? Exactly. You got to be the designated

Sheila or the GPS. Okay. I was actually just talking to my buddy about this over the weekend. And he was saying that when he's driving, his life does not like to drive. So he's the guy who's always driving. And she's got directions, but they are constantly rerouting because she's a little bit more focused on her Instagram feed than the directions. So she's probably not a very good passenger princess, Charlie. Probably not. Probably probably not she could benefit from this whole situation So I'm glad that that was your third now another one I'd like to add that could be good on the list is I think that the the copilot or the passenger princess is

Gotta be also a little bit of a hype man or woman So what I mean is Nothing's worse when you're driving when you get a little road rage, someone cuts you off. You're like, what the hell is this guy doing? If the person riding with you is like, hey, calm down. You're overreacting. That's not very fun. No, it should be hyping you up a little bit. Yeah, this guy is kind of an asshole. What's his deal? And then you can also make fun of the bumper stickers they got, you know, oh, yeah, some the bond over there. Oh, yeah, you got four kids on your stick fit, stick figure, family sticker on the back. Oh, that's really cool. Baby on board. What? Oh, not to brag, you had

sex at least one time. That's awesome. So I think that the co-pile's got to have a little bit of a height man or woman in them too. Yeah, and I also want to throw this in there. Sometimes, you know, you're getting a little bit, a little bit laxed days ago with putting the directions in and you just need gas, okay? Now, it's, you got to be a little cautious because if you, this is a pet peeve of mine, but if you're pulling off for a gas station as advertised on the highway, and then you get onto the exit ramp after you've committed to this and then it shows you the sign for that gas station, but really in the small fine print, it says three and a half miles to the left. I did not get off the highway for three and a half mile jaunt. Yeah, you know, it's

just knowing, uh, if you're not sure how far away the gas station is, if you can't see it off of the highway, I don't mess with it because you could be taking a long detour. Yes. Yeah. Because it could be three and a half miles through town, which is 30 miles an hour or something, and it could be a whole extra 20 minutes. And sometimes they get you in a speed trap, too. And then now you got to take it on your hands. You know, they should actually do a lot outlawing those suckers.

Another good thing I think that should happen with the copilot or the passenger princess should be knowing when to lean back in your seat, right? So you're coming to a four way stop or just a stop sign in general. If the passenger is leaning forward looking at something and you can't see out the window, that's a pet peeve of mine. Hey, come to a four way stop. Boom. Put your head against the headrest so you can see all angles and then even also maybe give a you're good on the right is also a good way to do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Now would you say that you have that technique down or is that something you're still working on? I'm gonna let my husband answer this one. He's right here next to me playing someplace station. So Sean, what do you think about that? Yeah, now you're freaking terrible about that. Oh, are you looking at me? No, no way. Yeah, wow. No, I'm not trying to stare dreamily into your eyes. I'm trying to see if someone's going to T bonus or not, right? Exactly. Now, it's Sean, right? Is that correct? Yeah. Okay. So Sean, uh, why don't you ever let her drive? What's what's going on there? Oh, that's just scary, man.

Well, okay. So, so I mean, has there, now here's the question though. Have you ever been in a scenario where she was driving and something bad happened to lead you to have evidence that she may not be as good a driver as you, or is it all in your head? Definitely not all in my head, you know. Do you have an excuse? Driving, I mean, I, you know, only a case in a tailgatingating that kind of stuff.

I think I hit a curb the other day. Yeah, well, that's a good idea. Okay. All right. So you guys are on the same page. This isn't a control issue, Sean. Do you let anybody else drive? Yeah, it's my friend, parents, brother, not my car,

but I'll ride with people. Okay, so no one else is driving your cars. That basically a rule of thumb. Yes. That would just be so. Another question I got for you guys is, what do you do for living? Because it is Tuesday afternoon and you're playing

PlayStation and you guys are also calling into the podcast. Wondering what kind of gigs you guys got going on. So for my work, I work fully from home and I log on really early in the morning because I'm fully remote. So I work hours from 6 a.m. to 2 30 p.m. So that way I have my afternoon free in the summer. So yeah, that's my current gig. I like it. And Sean, how's PlayStation coming along? That was great man. It's got home from work not too long ago. What do you do?

I'm just going to need to ask you 340. Oh, it's there an hour ahead. There an hour ahead. What do you do Sean? I work for the city where we live. I'm going to force them. Got it. So listen Sean, we got the call in asking what can make your wife a better passenger

princess. Do you have anything that you'd like to throw out there that might add to the whole deal? Something you've always wish she did, but didn't do. Keep it PG Sean. Cheese. Oh, who was that little chocolate? I heard that chocolate. Oh, we've been together what? Six years married for just over one. He's still a little rusty on getting the food prepared ready. Well, we're cuter. Like now, we're sharpest and more.

Cuter yet to be. Whenever we're driving, you get food for that. I got to eat. Like, you know how like it can be kind of a hassle, especially if you're driving by yourself, open it up. Like a chicken biscuit, something like that from bow jangles or a chick play. Yeah.

So just to job the path of your princess, open it up, get it ready, so the driver just has to do that. That way you're not driving with your knees trying to open up that chicken sandwich, am I right? Well, I got another question. She was bragging about the charcuterie, the, the venison jerky, the whole thing. Sounds like all you want is some bow jangles or some chick-fil-a. Is that it?

Is there a question on maybe not packing the snacks do you want more so the snack she wants you to eat? Oh, no, I mean, I'm the one that makes the deer deer peak. Yeah, it's both. But, no, I'm being like, I like all that food. This sometimes can be a place we get best food and with driving. He just goes, here's your ticket sandwich. Just like throws it with my life. You, hey, next you wanted a fan you while you're driving as well. Yeah, what if you're doing it by yourself?

We got to open it up. Pastor Princess and a driving princess. Look, it's like a little bit. We've uncovered the truth. There it. Lauren, what do you think of that? Do you think he's a little bit of we've uncovered the truth. There it. Lauren, what do you think of that? Do you think he's a little bit of a driver princess sometimes or my off base?

I would say that he is, but as long as he acknowledges it, I'm okay with that. And I can, I can meet him halfway and say I can do a better job about opening the sandwich to that way. He doesn't stumble around trying to open it. So I can compromise and agree. Lauren, what's your biggest critique of Sean's driving? If you had to pick one, man, biggest critique.

Yeah, I don't want to be cliche and say I don't have any. We said, so good driver. And he keeps me safe. Guys together. I want to be that like cliche and just that type of voice. But um, probably maybe the road rage thing. But you guys are road rage. That sounds like a lot of really dumb people. Yeah, that sounds like someone who's got massive road rage would say. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like you're a little bit in denial. I think Sean's thinking that denial is just a river in Africa, you know,

I've been taking that first step. All right, I'm gonna be honest. It sounds like you guys got a pretty good relationship You both admit to some things and you're okay with it and everyone knows their roles I think that that sounds like a pretty healthy thing you guys got going on. Yeah, that's what they said too. Do you guys ever tell you okay? Do you I'll go ahead? Yeah, I was gonna ask, I have my husband here. So I think he wants to ask the truck question with a Pond fan doing a FF.

Oh yeah, Nammory. Are you sure? Don't be shocked. Wow, Sean, we're sitting here. He's like, I gotta get back to my call of duty kid, honey. I can't be asking this question right now. No, we're sitting here. He's like, I got to get back to my call and do it again, honey. I can't be asking this question right now. No, we're not that. No, my parents are fixing to get a pontoon boat

in the next couple of years, and I'm looking at getting a truck. Would you guys recommend I'm going with the Ford F150, but I'm trying to figure out if I want to get a V8 or the EcoBoost. I know some people that have the EcoBoost at Hall of Fist Wheel. And fifth whereby I'm going to say that they actually can fool pretty well. They drive pretty fast.

Yeah, I got to EcoBoost myself, and I have no problem. I haven't pulled the boat yet. I don't know what I want to boat. But side by side on the trailer, other trailers as well. I got an enclosed one, helping people move couches and stuff. I got no problems with it at all. But the question is, is it's what's in your heart? You know, if you're being drawn to that V8, I think you just got to go for it. But I think that you bring up a good point. Yeah, I think you see a V8 on the road. You kind of start asking, you know, is that totally necessary?

What's he hiding? You know, what's he, what's he overcompensating for? And the other thing is the road rate. The road rate exactly. Do you have yourself a truck right now? Unfortunately not. Okay, well, I do have to warn you as soon as you make that purchase and dive into truck land You just become the guy everybody calls when they need a couch move So I hope your back is in good condition before you get yourself that truck because I don't know how it is down there in the South But up here it's hard for us to say no to things like that Well, thankfully pretty much everyone that I'm friends with already has truck. Oh, okay. I'm kind of the odd man out. Okay.

Well, that's been, had to have been great for you. No one gives you a call. I call everyone else. That's smart. Yeah. But now it's time to pay the pipe. Yeah. Just fair warning.

So what's with the pontoon, though? Are you thinking you're going to pull it with the pontoon? Well, my parents thing was we get the pontoon boat because my wife really wants a boat. And then they want to truck through there saying, we get the pontoon boat because my wife really wants a boat and then they want a truck so they're saying we get the pontoon you get the truck that way if they need to tell it somewhere and they'll have us there. Yeah, yeah, that's I mean this your guys' family seems very pleasant and very compromisable and it seems like it got a good thing going. Yeah, I mean you got a whole guys are just a year into this marriage

and you got a lifetime of charcuterie and fruit on the beach and, you know, just pleasant car rides ahead near as I can tell. Thanks for answering both of our questions. And yeah, we love listening to the show. Well, thank you for coming on. And you guys keep moving out there on the road and watch out for deer in that eco boost. Hey. Hey, and right, they're gonna be listening

this episode in the car some point. Hey, honey, why don't you pass me some jerky over here, make sure it's out of the package though, otherwise it's not gonna be a good job. Yeah, we all learned a little something today. I think that's it. So when you listen to this, when it comes out, you got to make sure you got jerky on hand.

So jerky on hand and out of the wrapping. All right. And the chicken sandwich. All right. We'll send you some. All right. We appreciate that. We do love it.

All right, guys. We'll talk soon, OK? All right. Say hi to your folks for us. All right. Yep. We'll do a watch for us. All right. Yep. We'll do a watch for deer.

Bye bye now. Oh, that was really nice. I think she just called into brag about that she's a great passenger prince. I think she kind of wouldn't think she did. I think she was just trying to be like, Hey, this is what everyone should do. I don't think she was even asking for advice, which I can appreciate. Sounds like they got a great thing going. I wish that Anne would take a few pages out of those books. Does Anne ever drive? Well, she just

got a little bit bigger of a noggin. And so it's as you could tell, the whole coming to a four way stop and her can't see out the passenger window to see if anyone's coming is my biggest gripe. So, well, I don't think I answered the question. Does she get to drive? Yeah, she drives. Okay. Yeah. And do you prefer when she drives? I do prefer to drive. I'm pretty 50 50.

Are you? Yeah. I like to pass in your princess. Okay. But when you're a passenger princess, I guarantee you you're on the freaking phone now paying any attention. Well, it's more so I'm doing like Sean's doing. I'm, hey, whoa, whoa, watch out for that. What are you doing?

Yeah, yeah. Like that was like one time she was back. Like we got only just backing out of the driveway and the car was coming. And she wasn't looking. I was like, does the car come and hold on? She's like, really? We're not even on the driveway yet. You're already telling me how to drive.

So I'm working on it though. Okay. Yeah. Next time I'll just let her back into this oncoming car. Yeah. That'll be good for the back. Yeah. Be great.

I'm sure you've never accidentally almost backed into a car in your life. I've never backed into it. I've re-rended someone before though. So, but that was, that was years ago. Yeah music oh yeah yeah all right should we do our next car yeah oh wow okay oh hey bitch welcome is that a dog what the hell's going on there thank you talking to me boys I was talking to you it sound like you were either banging something or there was a dog barking I'm starting to you. It sounded like you were either banging something or there was a dog barking. I'm starting to get my job set. I'm walking outside now. Oh, no worries. That's what I figured. What's what's your name?

Andrew Andrew Where are you from? I'm in California. I'm currently in Marine Del Rey. Oh, no, but I live just North of LA. Okay, you're on a job site down there in Marine Del Rey. How how does it down there now? 67 degrees boys. Oh, beautiful. Nice and cool. Got

that Marine layer in Marine Del Rey. Has quite burnt off. Yeah, by the sun. Good for you. So what what? Belly up to the bar with us. Tell us what's on your mind. So about I want to say three years ago I had a little project made to Daskets and plywood. And there was a piece of plywood about two foot by five foot ish. It was just beautiful. I mean, it was perfect.

I've been saving it. It's been in the garage. It's been behind like the the brooms and where the wife leave the vacuum cleaner. We have to move it like every two months. Boys. I fucking use it. Yes. He kept it there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of opportunities to throw it out to clear out space to clear the clutter. A lot of spring cleanings came and went, but you, sir, you held on like a true American. Good for you. Yeah, throat all doubt.

Thank you. Right. Yeah. There's a moment in the dark place that you go where you look at that piece of wood and you go, do I need it? Yeah. Do I want it all that and you persevered through? Yeah, here we are today got through the whole Marie condo

If it doesn't serve you or whatever Let it go you said hell no. I'm holding on to this good for you. You went against the grain Now what did you get against you like that against the grain. That was nice. Yeah. So tell what I mean, this is one phenomenal news. Yeah. And we couldn't be more excited for it. No, that's real. What did you end up using it for?

That's not too exciting. I had to build a little platform in the attic. I was doing some plumbing. Nothing too crazy, but I used it. Oh, no, that's great. You used it. Now, tell us about this platform. And maybe someone else needs to

do a little plumbing in the attic too. Let them know how they can use their piece of plywood. All I did was build little sections so I can comfortably get on my knees and do about an hour of soldering. I'm not a very good plumber. I could just put the little box in the attic so I can just get cozy out there. That's all. I used it for a nice work. It's slightly around and yeah, I could slide it around so my knees aren't on the joints and not hurting myself. My knees are going bad.

So now what it sounds like though, is that this two by five piece of plywood is going to be the gift that keeps on giving because it sounds like you didn't even fasten it to anything. Sounds like you're going to be able to pull that out of the attic and store it back in the garage for the next time you may need that piece of wood. I think you just figured something out. You just cracked the code. Yeah. And then when you get crap from your buddies who come over or maybe your wife or whoever about why don't you get rid of that thing, you can tell them about the time you had to do some sotter and for some plumbing and your bad knees and laying it on the joys.

You know, there you got it. I was hoping that maybe my boy, when he goes in the attic one day, when he has the house, he'll realize what a genius is on there. Oh, yeah. Hey son. in the attic one day when he has the house, he'll realize what a genius is on. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, son. Yeah. When he finally passes the house down, he's not going to give him the keys. He's going to give him this piece of plywood and say, this is the work in pad plywood right

here. I see him when he's selling the house, say, hey, before I give you the keys, follow me to take him up to the IQC. It's like in pulp fiction, when he's talking about the watch being shoved up his ass or whatever, he's like, you look at this piece of plywood, that piece of plywood was with me for damn near two years. And everyone said, you're crazy. Let it go.

But I said, no, it won't go to the lamp. I might send the realtor off there. How might send the realtor off there to take a picture of it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that should be the only picture of your house when you try and do it. Yeah. And in the details, it's like, it's a four bedroom, three baths, this much square footage. And there's also a very, very good working pad in the attic from a piece of plywood. It's priced at like $2 million over what it should be because of that. Can I,

it's James, right? That's your name. Andrew. It's Andrew. What the hell did I think it was James? Oh, it says James Andrew on the chart. Charlie's had some de Kila. So I did. He forgets names when he's drinking tea. Yeah. Now Andrew, you seem like a fellow who's had quite a few pieces of plywood hanging round or other scrap wood. Can you give us some tips on making new things from scrap wood? Like if you have a piece of scrap wood,

what are the tips on making something beautiful? Ooh, that's a good question. Probably YouTube YouTube. I'm so sorry, boys. No, it's yeah, I mean, there's so many YouTube videos about that. I don't make stuff out of scrap that I'm going to put in my office or in my house, like to make a little bit of furniture. Hmm. What's the craziest thing you've ever.

Nice good wood. Yep. Good wood. What is the craziest thing you've ever made out of scrap wood though? Scrap wood? Yeah. Probably a platform in my attic. Follow up question.

You know, you may not have built anything out of scrap wood, but I know you got some sort of inventory in that garage. I know that that piece of plywood is not the only thing you got hanging around. What else do you got in your inventory in the garage? You may use at some point. Okay. So that's a great question. I do have some galvanized pipe that's peretted on the end

that we can use to make shelves out of the little, you know what I'm talking about. I have some of those, I'd say. Very hip and trendy these days. Yeah, some aircraft cable with some nice ends on them. Looks real nice. Where are you gonna do with that? I don't know yet. We'll find out someday. I'll call you back when I do. Yeah, you can to do with that? I don't know.

We'll find out someday. I'll call you back when I do. Yeah. He's got a couple years to figure it out. Yeah. There's no pressure anymore. You just built yourself like a standard for how long some get and hang around without having to use it.

It's got to be at least two years because the idea really needs to ferment in your mind, you know, and there's no rushing this scrap wood process. And Charlie, I think we just unlocked a new version of biceller trade. And that you also have some bargaining power of some extra stuff laying around where maybe you don't need that galvanized pipe right now. You need something else and your buddies got something in his garage.

You can trade them the galvanized pipe for whatever you need in his garage. 100%. Yeah. You have anything in your garage? Do you have anything in your garage that you're looking to trade right now? I do. What do you have? I've got a lot of good. I've got some guitar pedals. Oh, guitar pedals. How about that? What kind of guitar pedals are we talking? You name it. I got them. I've got tons of fuzz pedals. I went through a fuzz phase.

And that comes as fuzz pedals. Yeah, I know. I've got too many of them. Yeah, I always have one to me every time I go through my fuzz paddle phase. It's I always have one to me every time I go through my fuzz paddle phase. It's I can tell that you've gone through that the way you called it a paddle. They call it a paddle. Yeah, I've had a little dequeue. So what would you want to trade these pedals for? Some great questions. I trade them for some leather making tools.

Oh, we're some good pieces of leather. Okay. Nice little piece of. I was trying to put another feather in his cap of being a leather man as well. Yeah. Just a plywood craftsman. No, no. Were you a musician in a former life there Andrew?

Little bit yeah, did you play some gigs out there in California? No, no gigs anything just for fun. Okay. Just for fun. That's good Well, this has been this is really just an exciting phone call. We're really happy to hear not every day You find someone who actually uses the piece of wood that they got in their garage. No, I don't know. I know. I'm blessed. Yeah. I tell you what, you know, I got a piece of birch, birch wood in my garage that I've been, you know, because birch is one of those things you can let people burn it. You know, it's nice, nice watching a piece of Birch burn. Yeah, but you know, a nice piece of Birch also can be very decorative, you know, the hipsters love that stuff.

Oh my God, they get off on Birch. I know, I'm sure. I don't know what it is about hipsters and of that Birch. Yeah. But man, you see their birch. What about bearing it with a little galvanized pipe? That might look a whole face. That could be cool.

Maybe we should think of, I'm not sure if you think a sheet of birch is right now. I mean, birch is skyrocketed. The price of birch, you know, but I'll tell you, no, I tell you what, here, no, a sheet of birch, I mean, come on. That's one thing, but I no, I sheet a birch. I mean, come on, that's one thing. But I'm talking about people want birch raw these days.

You know, they don't want it milled or anything like that. They want that, that bark that is really it's that birch bark. It's all about the bark. Yeah. It's all bark. No bite. All births bark. No bite.

Yeah. That's it. Right now, I got a, so we did a little accent wall in my house, you know, with some like trim board on the sheet rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like every millennial home has. Yeah. And so I got a little extra trim would left in my garage. I can't wait to find out what I use it for in the future. It's a really exciting time. It is exciting. That's like what keeps you through the hard times is what are you going to use your scrap wood for, you know, and just that mental exercise, all the whole world

of possibilities with that little piece of this and that. Andrew, We're going to make you feel so good. No, you made us feel good. I mean, thank you for calling in today. You've done, you've done a public service. I want to let you know that. Thank you. Yeah. Very good. You're really doing God's work. You are. We appreciate calling in man and this is good. Hopefully you can find someone to trade those Fuzz Pattles for. Thank you so much. Yeah. All right. Well, watch out for Deer Andrew. We appreciate you calling in now. All right. Love you guys. Love you back. Bye bye. Good, good guy. Hell yeah.

I want him to maybe rummage through my garage a little bit. See if we can drum up something to work on together. He seems like a guy I'd want to drink beers within the garage. You know what I mean? Definitely. beers within the garage. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. It just seemed like, you know, no, oh, yeah, a trim piece. What if we did this with it? Yeah. And then we'd have a couple more beers. Well, maybe not today, but let's try again next

week. And then we drink more beers together and brainstorm. And that goes on for a couple of years. And next thing you know, you think that you're trying to do a DIY, why project, but really you got a DIY friend. And that's what it's really about. And while you were saying that, Miles, I thought of something you could do with that trim. What do you think? How much foot of trim you got? I think it's like a six foot, that could be enough. You got the numbers on your house yet?

Yeah, I do actually. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. Otherwise, that's a not a, I mean, as long as you don't have a lot of twos in it, you know, if you got like, nope, no twos in my head. That's good. So one's five, five's a little tough. Yeah. Four is a good one. Luckily, my address is just 111. So it's gonna work out great. 111. You could, uh, you could have just, we could have got that down. Look at East split. Oh my gosh. That's just a few cuts with the old, uh, the old saw there. Yeah. The old miter. Well, hopefully, uh, hopefully we get another colors pleasant as that. Yeah. So let's take another

Charlie, my, we're hot, we're hot we're hot in wedding season right now. Yeah, you want to know what the best gift you can give Wedding couple what's that a nice old bottle of tippy cow And a brand new bed. That's true. I mean That's an expensive gift. I think you just go with the tippy cow. It's affordable. It tastes good. It's a delicious creamy tree. You can have the next day after your wedding when you're feeling a little hungry over to get you back to zero. And if your bed is bad, to take out, make a sleep better. You send that back up a little bit. Something about what those cows put in the milk. Oh my gosh. Yeah. My back's already starting to feel better. I don't know about you. A little sip. Mmm.

Lumbar sip sport Some like that. Lumbar support. Lumbar sip. There's something there. Well, if you're wondering what you should get a couple for their wedding gift You've got to just go to the store get some Tippy cow. You don't even gotta wrap it. They don't even, they should just know. That's what they got. Just put a little bow on the front and you're gonna be a wrap, and it's already wrapped. Look at how beautiful this is.

That is true. You can't get any better wrapping. And all I would say is you're gonna get a pretty nice thank you note after that gift from the wedding. So they're gonna tip their hats. Guys, forget them. A tippy cow. We're gonna tip it on back. Tippy cow. We love it. Hello, who are we talking to? Hello, this is Logan. How are you guys doing? Good. Logan. Where are you at? I am in Western Nebraska. Western Nebraska. What's up?ography like out there today?

Pretty flat. Pretty flat. Very, very flat and windy. Sounds like you're in North Dakota, so I know that all too well, huh? Living on the moon. What's the end of the month? 101. Well, hey, I was calling in because that the end of the moon. What's the end of the month about a hundred and twelve?

Yeah, well, hey, I was calling in because that the end of the month I have to Efficient my brother's wedding and I was needing some tips and tricks for how to officiate a wedding Okay, right you called the right place. Yeah, Charlie's had at least one wedding So he knows all miles. Yes, I've heard time. We talk about a wedding. You don't need to bring up the fact. I didn't say the D word. I just said wedding. Yeah, we all know what you meant. All right. All right. Well, I hope this one ends better. Yeah. All right. So to you, uh, what remind me, what's it you're

officiating? Is that the brothers? Why do your brothers wet? Oh, that's some pressure. Why did they pick you? What? I mean, no clue. No, no, no. Are you in the, like, you in the wedding party as well? Or because, or how's that working? And I get all the perks of a groom's man just with more talking. More talking, but you don't have to rent a suit. So that's a big win right there.

Oh no, no, I had to buy one. Oh no, why? So it sounds like he's going to walk up there like a groom's man and then just be the Efficient as well. Is that accurate? Yeah, you're pulling double duty. I think so. I think so. Man of many traits you could say. I like that. Well, um, well, first of all, uh, when it comes to officiant, I had my sister officiate my wedding. So it's actually hits pretty close to home.

She did a great job, by the way. She did a great job. She had one blemish and that will be the, and she knows we've me and her have talked about it. Yeah. So this is maybe a good reminder for you. She forgot to tell everyone to sit down when she started. That is true. You were there. I was there. I was sitting there standing up. I was like, geez, who is that wasn't expecting I mean, you got a bad back. So it's like, geez, you know, we're going to sit down. My back is fine miles. Okay. It's coming around. Okay. But honestly, we were stamped for quite a bit. It was, I was looking back to see if anyone back there was sitting. Yup. And she eventually caught herself though and made light of the moment. And know what she told me later. She said, I even wrote in all caps with a pen on something

she printed out. Remind everyone to sit down and she just blanked it. Just just she was so excited to marry her brother off. Yeah. So that's number one. Make sure you're telling everyone to sit down because that can turn a crowd on you're pretty fast. 100%. If they got to stand for too long. Um, I think another one. Okay. Yeah.

And I think another one is, is do something to really cut the tension right away. Yeah. Because weddings can get a little bit serious, right? It's like, oh my God, this is the biggest day of my life this and that. If you can lead off with something that's appropriate, but that also cuts the tension a little bit, kind of disarms everyone that's at the wedding. I think that could be a good technique to just have everyone tension a little bit, kind of disarms everyone that's at the wedding. I think that could be a good technique to just have everyone relax a little bit.

So, my brother told me I'm limited to two jokes, which I think it's funny that he thinks I'll hold myself to that butt. Yeah. So here's the butt twist, here's the butt twist. I allegedly, as this girl out on the bus, when I was in junior high. Okay. That's a great way to cut the tension. I'm thinking the opening line would be like, Hey, girl, I knew you'd find a way to get me at the altar on your wedding day.

No, I don't know if I know. I like it. I like it. Maybe more like, well, I thought that I'd be standing in a different spot today, but you know, then it's less like calling your, your, your brother's wife girl in front of everyone. I don't know. Is it common? I would put her name. Okay. There you go. There you go. Is it common? If you're like, Hey, sweet baby cheeks, I thought that I'd be standing here with you. Don't do that. Yeah, that's a no go. Okay. Okay. Um, is it coming? You're going to get first.

Yeah. Is it common knowledge that you um, asked her out on the bus? Does everybody at the wedding know that? It's common knowledge amongst my family. And again, this is a ledges sheet put it in her diary. I don't recall. Oh, I mean, that kind of thing. Game left and right. So she was probably just one of the few at that day that got asked out.

Okay. Now, here's how you open up. You've got to get your hands on that diary. By the way, yeah, and you need to whip that thing out without her knowing and read word for word. What's in the diary? That'll break that. That's actually just say before we start today, I'd like to read a passage from the bride's diary. And then say the date and the and the whole deal. And then after that, then your jokes gonna land very hard. And then, oh, it's great. So do that and then go, I know that you're sad that it didn't work out between us, but you can say, but you dodged a bullet because you ended up with my brother. It was a better man than me. That's a great way to say.

Oh, that'll be nice. I feel like lying during a wedding isn't the way to go. I mean, yeah, you don't want to start. I feel like we need to be open and on it. Yeah, even better. Me, you can even say that. You can say, no, I was going to come up here and say, you know, that you ended up with the better man, but I don't want to start this marriage off with a lie.

Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, for this specific reason, I don't keep a diary. I don't want anyone knowing my thoughts from the past. That's his shame, Miles. You, you, you, you, oh, I've got, I've got, yeah, since I was a kid, I've got a whole, a whole book so that's because he thinks he's going to publish an autobiography based

off his diaries. That's what that's about. Hey, you never know. It's going to be another thousand page book that he puts out. That last one was only two. I heard it. I heard it to get toilet reels. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is's why you got back issues. Yeah, I've always sitting on there for 30 minutes. There's not enough one bar support on the crapper.

Do your toilets have the pad and seeds mild? No, that would be insane. That'd be hilarious. I mean, but also maybe I'll try it. Oh, button, pun. Nice. Nice. So I mean, when you're on there for that long,

you just go ahead. No, you go ahead. I was saying when you're on there for that long, you oh go ahead no you go ahead I was saying when you're on there for that long you just turn around fit your coffee and use the tank as your reading my oh yeah you gotta go reverse cowboy on that little AC Slater on the uh yeah that's actually later on the toilet that's pretty great so I want you to talk us through a little bit of what your plan is for this great. So I want you to talk us through a little bit of what your plan is for this officiating. How's it going to start? What's the middle? How's it going to end? What are you thinking? Well, my brother called me last night and said, Hey, I need a

script by this weekend, which I mean, I don't think he should be able to see the script. It's kind of like one of those things when you give a graduation speech, you give the principal one that's okay and they approve it and then you whip out a new one. I was gonna say you're just giving it an outline right? You guys got to give them an outline. Yeah, yeah he doesn't get the zingers in there. You've got to wait for the show for that one. But I'm thinking walk into my team song party in the USA and then bring everybody else in, you know, just start off with a couple of one-liners

to keep everything nice and light. Hang on, you got that. Sorry, you got that. You got that. You can't just raise over that. You actually are walking in the party. You are starting the USA, the wedding with a Miley Frickin Cyrus song.

Well, I mean, would you prefer like, probably like Luke Holmes, long neck guys hope you're never broke my heart, I can do that. I'm open to ideas. I don't think you get a song as the administrator of a wedding. I, I mean, well, I'm kind of in charge of running it. So I think I can put one in. I can.

I can. Now question, is this going to be straight from Spotify or is this like a piano version of party in this? That'd be awesome. I re-camp my previous day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Party. Party or a piano version with me, karaoke while I walk up the aisle.

Okay. Oh boy. Oh boy. I think that your brother is absolutely okay with asking for the full speed. Now that I know you a little bit more, I don't blame your brother. Yeah, well, we've all been confused and say one why he asked me to officiate, but I think so I went to seminary for a couple months to be a Catholic priest. I don't know if he thinks I went over that section when I was

in seminary, but we didn't get there in the first couple months. What's that say about your brother? That you're the closest thing you can find to a priestly man. It's just someone who went to seminary for a couple months. That's the criteria. Yeah, we've had family tell me that some things I have to include in the wedding and everything. Apparently people think I'm open to suggestions. And I don't think I am. Yeah, you're like, when did I ever say that this was a speech by a group of people? This is my speech, right? This is your type of speech.

He would have them to fish it. Who's the best man? Who's the best man? Yeah, I'm saying. Who's the best man? One of my other brothers. Oh, that's good. Wow. Now, do you think you were the rightful best man?

And do you think they were giving you the officiating to kind of lessen the sting of not being called into best man duties? Well, what he told me was if they would have got married in a church, I would have been best man. But he'd rather my other brother be best man and me officiates. I think it was a little like, Hey, came with an excellent condition. Too low. Yeah. I mean, he's just doing straight politics. Yeah. I was they discussed that to to like how do we let them down easy? Let's just let them be the efficient. Yeah, I mean, hey, step above us, sure. Big step above us. Yeah, that's what I said. My sister made me.

Don't get her online. That's true. Yeah, no, well, I knew you. No, go ahead. You weren't mad about that at all, warrior. My sister making me usher. You know, that's basically like hiring me without paying me. You know what I mean? I mean, hey, can you hand out? And then I got yelled at by the priest for not doing it good enough. So, you know, that's how that goes. Listen, I feel like you've been yelled at priest by so many times back when you were an

altar boy. I'm sure you didn't do anything. And it was just I would bring in the book when they want me to ring the bells. It was a mess. It was the priest had to go to confession. I wasn't going to go there. The priest had to go to confession after every single mass that Charlie was the, who was the altar boy at because it's just mumbling things under his breath.

That he had to confess later. If you're a priest, can you confess to the mere? I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of how the Lutheran's. Oh, you know, it's a good way.

I wasn't going to go to the Alter Server joke, but thank you for taking that one mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He found a PG one. Well, listen. listen, we're, we're, we're, no extra curriculars with Charlie as the alter was. No, no, no, no. Okay, good, good. Listen, we're not like the duck walk at the doctors off the, all right, all right. I got cast. All right. This is fairly podcast.

That we occasionally take shots. Leave that joke out of your efficient talk. Yeah. Yeah. You know, why don't you go back to the seminary for a little bit? All right.

See what happens. Hey, so how many jokes do you hit? Can you give us some of your best singers? Well, after that one didn't land too well. I'm not sure that family friendly talk has to do. Look, OK, well, first of all, you're doing a wedding.

It's going to have to be somewhat family friendly. You can't have any any, you know, give us your worst joke. I'm just I just want to get a sense for this. Like the worst one that may be okay, but probably shouldn't be said otherwise. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. Well, the best man told me to give me $100 if I split tongue-punching a fart box in there.

Wait, say it's Lord. Tongue-punching a fart box. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. Wait, say it's more. I'm punching a fart box. Got it. I'll give you a hundred bucks if you work that into.

Yeah, I mean, I'll be. Sometimes the things get boring. Don't be afraid to tongue puncher in the fart box. Oh my god. Geez. You're actually getting. Thank God this is not my church. Yeah, you know what? I'm just going to say this. I'm just going to say this. Your brother did this to himself.

Okay. I now see why I don't want you to be best man because he knew that something like that was going to come out. Yeah, it's like he thought you would do too much damage as the best man for his best man speech. It turns out he can do just as much damage as the officiant. I mean seriously at least people are drinking during the best man speech and have like a low bar But for you, you're gonna get a sober and hot and bothered and then you're gonna throw in a Good. Yeah

But a lingus joke. I mean, that's not what we're after, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, He, yeah, I've lived with this man for a while. And then when I was out of college, we lived together a little while. Like, he knows who I am and he still chose this. So I imagine the conversation between, like, that was a heated debate between him and his fiancee of like, we have to include him in the wedding. But I mean, I think he could go really off the rails if he does the best man's speech. Just make him a nasha Yeah, he's like well, no, he'll be offended by the yasha. Okay. I have what what is he not gonna do a fart box. He went to seminary. Oh, maybe we could make him the officiant. Yeah, he wouldn't dare say anything about about And then low and behold, here you are. When is the wedding? When is the wedding?

End of the month, July 29th. So this is come out after that. Yeah. So come out after that. So give us a couple more of your jokes. No one's going to be spoiled because this is coming out after the wedding. What other ones you got lined up? Well, that's that's about as far as I got, which is why it's like he told me to which script to do tomorrow. Oh my god. Yeah, what's going on? You can't delay that. Well, go ahead. The approval script is due tomorrow. Okay. The actual script, I still got three weeks on. Okay. Okay. He's a bit of a person in here.

I see how seminary school didn't turn out so hot. Yeah. What do you do now? What you don't know? I'm a teacher. Oh, what grade? I teach. I do K through eight.

Eight years. Is that? Is that where you learned your joke? No, he's the inappropriate science teacher. I was a kid for that funny. He's the inappropriate science teacher. No, I yeah, I can be professional, okay? Well, the time in a place or professional. Yeah, okay, then there you go. That's why the brother fell fine. He's like he wouldn't do that on the official. He's a teacher.

He molds the youth. Yeah, no. Well, this will make your parents proud. Are you married? No, okay, you gotta be there. You gotta be thinking about that. If you married? No. Okay. I'm going to be there. So you got to be thinking about that. If you ever plan to get married, you're going to get some of this in return. However, he's going to retaliate equal or even worse at your wedding. So I would consider it.

If you're not funny or creative. Wow. Include that in the officiant talk. Yeah. Thank God that I know one up here talking because my brother is not creative. Well, include that in the efficient talk. When you're up there. Thank God that I'm the one up here talking because my brother is not funny nor creative would be a great way to maybe start it off with. You still

think feelings for me? She on say. Oh, no, not at all. That was like quick five minute, apparently on the bus type, oh, there's a cute girl, let that girl go. Okay, that's your political answer. I'm gonna send a shot you don't take. Yeah, that's your political answer.

Yeah. Tell us how you really feel. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you miss her? What's, uh, no. No, if she, if she wants my brother more power to work. Okay, then we gotta put up a ramp. What if she, well brother more power to work. Okay, they got to put up a

ramp. What if she, well, let's not go there. We don't need to go there. We're gonna let that sleep in dog bake in the sun. It's good job. Dogs get hot in the sun. You know, what a reference. Yeah, like it. Yeah. Yeah, you ever see a dog sleeping in the sun? They're like, ah, can I get out of here? You know, someone can be some water. Yeah. A lot of painting. Yeah. A lot of painting. They got that big. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we wish you all the luck. I'll tell you that much. If you want to appreciate you guys taking my call. Yeah. After this conversation, I may be like a copy of that wedding ceremony.

Yeah, please. For the first time ever, I want to actually watch if wedding ceremony. You know, they were, they were court wedding ceremonies and then no one ever watches it again. It's what this morning I might actually tune into. I'd watch it. And also keep in mind not a lot of people are going to be super drunk at this point in the night. So that it's going to be hard to get jokes, you know, and that's not. Well, luckily, like, she's only got about four or five family members there. So like,

the majority of them will be my side of the family. So they know how I am. They've grown up with me. Yeah. Green light. You're not to go ahead. Yeah. I can see where you're being so pausing. Final, final good move for you is when you're uh, scooting down the aisle to party in the USA, you could be handing out shooters to everyone. So they are a little liquor. Oh, yeah, or just get there early and put one under the seat. I mean, you're, you went to seminary school, so you know, when they, uh,

uh, do the blessing with the holy water and they like shower down on everyone and what does the sign of the cross. You could just have fireball in there and just have everyone put a little little taste. You could shower everyone with fireball. Yeah. We are rolling. You rolled down with pitball too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, then yeah, you walk out to Pitbull Fireball. Fireball. Oh, Miles is a huge pitbull type. And then I'm just making it rainfireball.

There you go. Exactly. Also, also I'm a little worried about this wedding because it's going to take place in the Rocky Mountain and it's on like a deck that's literally hanging over a valley. And I'm a bigger man, I'm not the smallest guy you ever did me. So I'm worried about the structural integrity. How would I go about asking this venue to see their inspection. Well, the one do that for sure ahead of time. Secondly, it's all about weight distribution.

So I used to work concrete and there's a lot of bracing and walking the top of the wall that you got to do. And as a bigger guy myself, you want to make sure you got good weight distribution. That means do not stand with your feet too close together. You're going to want wanna spread those babies out, make sure you got a wide base cause then it's not all the weight in one spot.

Okay, Mark, like my offensive line span. Yeah, but maybe even a little wider than that. You know, I know you're talking shoulder width. I'm talking outside those shoulders just to make sure that that weight distribution is good. When I got my suit tailored, they cinched a little off the sides of the pants to make it a little tighter.

So if I bust a couple of scenes, I'll just say it's for safety reasons. Yeah, there you go. You got that built in, excuse me. I've got that game too much weight. Yeah. Bring a little fishing line with you. Force comes to worse. Oh, true. Yeah. Bring a little fishing line with you. Force comes to worse.

Oh, true. I'll probably need that 30 pound brace though. There you go. There you go. Yeah, the braided. Oh, yeah. Oh, god, yeah. I don't keep you as zipped in there if you some breaks.

Well, thanks for calling in, fella. I appreciate you guys taking my call, where you guys drinking after that. Who's on third in Milwaukee? Oh, fun. Yeah. I need to get out to that area. Yeah.

I hear you guys talk about North Dakota and Wisconsin and everything. So I'm trying to figure my way out that way. We're going to the Lake of the Ozarks this weekend. Oh, there you go. It'll be a good time. Yeah, you will have a good day out there. A little family vacay with the girlfriend's family, so that will be interesting.

Oh, you have a girlfriend. Yeah, he already said that. Well, you know, some of the keep in mind before the farpox joke comes in. I'm just reminding you. I was like, I got $200 on the line. So I've got it at this point. I'm a teacher. I was like, I got $200 on the line. So I've got it at this point. I'm a feature. I need as money.

You DM me a video of you saying tongue punch in a fart box. I your brother's wedding. I will Venmo you 100 bucks so fast. Just saying, I'll be looking at you. Bet you guys. Why are you BTCHA guy? You send me that video. Oh, I follow you on everything.

Don't worry. You send me that video. I will with your Venmo name. I will saucy a hundred bucks immediately. I'll throw it. All right. Well, sounds good. Yes.

All right. So it's good. You're going to be better. Yeah. I mean, I don't recommend you do it. But if you do it, I'll throw him 50. That's like a boy. All right, see you, my man.

All righty. That was a good one. All right, so you have, thank you. This is gonna be a disaster. Total disaster. Oh my God, there's no way that this ends well at all. I don't think he's gonna do it. I think he's more blessed.

I think he's a lot of bark. No bite. Yeah. That's probably for the best. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I can't imagine that going well. It's such a hard crowd too. Imagine if you were at this wedding and he said tongue punch and fart box. Every single muscle in my body would be tense. Yeah. I would be everything would be flexing.

And then we sweat running down my back. I'd be like, this is what? Everybody's far box is going to pucker if you know, you would not be able to touch my far back. So that I could. The defenses would be up. Yeah. All right. Well, that concludes. I think I think that's, oh, yeah. That's another. I fly is when you're talking about fart boxes Charlie, you know, yes, it does miles and spend another

joy to you know, sit here with you and hear about scrap wood and you know, people ruining their brothers future marriage. I mean, there's a lot. It was a good episode. And I want to thank who's on third for hosting us. This is awesome.

Great vibes in here. If you're ever in Milwaukee, you've got to stop on in and make sure you tip your bartender. What do you do? Absolutely. So we'll see you in the next one, guys. All right. Watch your deer. Bye.