Bellied Up - Tornado Watch Parties #97
Episode Date: April 18, 2024We're back at Schuller's Tavern in Golden Valley, MN. The first caller wants to make tornadoes more of a celebration. The next caller has a personal dilemma and wants to dance around a certain... name for his future child. Last caller is in a 10-year relationship and is wondering if he should pop the question, but there is one big thing holding it all back. Get yourself a "Road Huntin For Ditch Chickens" Hat Want us to come to your bar for a Bellied Up episode? Click Here Check Out Myles' other Podcast You Betcha Radio Check Out Charlie's other Podcast Cripescast
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Bellied Up Podcast.
I'm here with my lovely friend, Charlie Barron's.
We are here back at Schuller's back here in Golden Valley, Golden Valley.
Yep. And Schuller's big props to them.
We gave them about a 20 minute notice that we're going to show up here
because we're going to go to another bar
They canceled on us, you know, sometimes we got big-time Charlie
Sometimes that happens miles sometimes we get big-time by a small town bar and it's good to know that you're never
Keeps your ego right where yeah keeps you in check doesn't it, Charlie? Yeah. I don't, what did they say?
I was not there yet.
Did they say, ah, we just don't like you?
So basically I think what happened was basically what happens in every, uh, mostly my dad's
construction business.
Huge miscommunication between the manager and the owner, I think is what happened.
And by miscommunication, we just mean did not even attempt to communicate.
Correct. Yes, there was no communication involved whatsoever.
That happens a lot at a bar to when you answer the phone.
You've had a few drinks, you're dealing with customers and then just slips through the dome.
Yep. You know, water through a sieve.
You know, so we're back at the scene of the crime to Charlie back.
This is where you won
$777 on pull tabs we won
We won. Yeah, I didn't get to dip my beak in that at all. You got a free drink at least
Yeah, that's not we won that you won. I took all the risk and you wanted all the reward
I see I didn't want all the reward. I wanted half the reward.
I thought we were friends.
You're right.
You're right.
That's my fault.
Well, when we win again today, we can split it.
Okay, I like your attitude.
When we win again, we will pull some.
That's what investing is all about, Charlie.
That is what it's all about.
Miles.
Yeah, you just you text me how much you owe me after the fact. Like I asked you to do the last time and he didn't. Yeah.
Sorry about that. That, you know what? That brings us to a good point here, Charlie. What's
that? There's different types of textures in the world. Yes. Yes. Oh yeah. There are. Yeah.
Like, like, um, like the dude who dude who texts in a massive paragraph, you know,
what's more annoying the guy who texts in a massive like email style paragraph complete
with its own paragraphs within that where he just copied and pasted off as no tab or
the guy who texts you like one thing in five different texts, like, Hey text, how are you
tax? I think the paragraph is
better. It's more information in one notification. But why do people then do the, are they just
being lazy or do they want you to think that this is all top of the dome? Cause I like
it when people deliver like kind of hard information to absorb in a way that doesn't seem like
they thought it out. I think it's like they're just
quick trigger fingers. So they're they say it and then they're like, oh shit, I forgot to add this
part. And then they said, I forgot to add that part. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So you, or is that what
they want you to think? I don't know. I don't know. I don't think there's a lot of thought into those
ones. What other types are there? Well, there's the type of guy who leaves his red receipts on and
then goes to the people who leave the people who have red receipts
on are insane to me.
I mean, that would give me so much anxiety because I would see
a text come in.
How many texts do you open?
You're like, I just I can't right now.
And the fact that they saw that I read that
I am banking on the fact that you think I didn't even see that text come through.
Well, and honestly it's maybe it's like, uh, I'm bad at texting people back. So I know
that they can see that I read it so that it forces you to respond more. Maybe, maybe we
should try that out. It's a rash decision
now it is. And it's just too much information. Well, you're gambling on our mood in the moment
when you have red receipts on if you have red receipts on your gambling by the person's
mood in the moment. And more often than not, I feel like that just leads to rash decisions.
That's what red receipts, red receipts leads to rash decisions. That's what red receipts red receipts leads to rash decisions.
I like that. Yeah. Then that brings it back to the people like you and I, Charlie, that have a tough
time responding in a timely manner. Yes, we are. I have thought long and hard of why I am the way
that I am. And honestly, I think it's just because we have ADHD. I think that's it.
You ever respond in your head and then don't respond in person?
Yeah, I'll read a text message and then I will respond in my head,
but then forget to actually respond in real life and move on.
I'm so glad you brought that up because all the time and I can tell that it affects
people are annoyed with it or or I will respond like
like my buddy texted me some the other day and it was about getting back to another email
and I said for sure exclamation point he laughs at the for sure and he said don't respond
to me like an AI you know I was like dude like, dude, like I'm, I'm telling
you I, I'm he's like, are you actually excited about responding to this wankers email? And
I was like, no, but I'm just, I, sorry. I bothered you with my friendship. He was right
that I was in AI mode. I was just like, I honestly think I might've been doing a suggested
text. Now imagine, I mean really texting is a reflection of real life. Right. So imagine now here's
the way I would have said fuck fine. I guess maybe not. Maybe it's the opposite. Right.
Like I feel like maybe it is the opposite. I had it wrong. It's the opposite because
people who text in long paragraphs are usually I I feel like quieter in real life. And the people who are
outgoing and talk a lot in real life are the ones that are bad textures and send short
replies or don't respond at all. Yeah, I see that. Also, could you imagine if we talk to
people like we text, right? So they say something. So it'd be like, Hey Charlie, how you doing?
I got this and this plan for today. And then you, you, you looked at me, heard what I said,
and then just didn't respond and walked away. That's funny. Let's do it. Let's act out.
This is the ghost text there right now. Hey Charlie, I got that. I got the tickets for the game this Saturday. Hey, did you see that? I got the tickets yesterday.
Hey, the games tomorrow. Are you still on for the, for the tickets? Oh shoot. Sorry,
man. Sorry, sorry. I had a lot going on. Um, can't do it tonight. Unfortunately. Really wish I could. Okay.
Well, are you on for next weekend? Hey man, just wondering if you're available this week.
It just goes on and on and on. Yeah. Those are magic. That was real life. I know it's
terrible. There is just didn't, there is this separation though when it comes to texting between me and your feelings, you know, I'll admit I'm a terrible
texter. I am. And I feel bad about it. Cause sometimes I, I just forget, I think it's just
working too much. I'm going to blame it on something that makes me the, uh, get, makes
people feel better about me. Not getting back.
Just everyone's pretty busy, Charlie. Now when I, I, what I will put up here is worse
at it than me. No. Yeah, no. You, we are the same. Okay. So I'm going to put a little PSA
to end this segment here, Charlie. If you encounter someone like Charlie and I who are bad at
responding to text message and respond in our head instead of in real life often shoot,
fire off multiple texts if you need to don't feel bad about that. I actually enjoy when
someone double texts me or triple texts me when they need to get something from me because
the chances are is I just forgot to respond.
It's not because I was being mean. It is what I mean. It's like a nice reminder. No, a thousand
percent. Because if I'm looking at a text and I pop it up and I open up the text, you
know, and then I don't get back to it right then again, I respond in my head. If I don't
see the little blue bubble next to it, I already think I responded to it. So it's just things get lost in the show. Don't be afraid to double, triple, quadruple
tech someone who is bad at responding to text messages. Don't do that in a romantic relationship.
It will come across. Yeah, that doesn't count for really. This is for all platonic relationships.
Non platonic relationships have their own set of rules, which I don't even really know. It's been a while since I've had to play by those rules. Yeah.
So now I am.
I just don't talk to it.
Well, actually she does just text me all day and I don't respond.
So that's the worst.
We either you're the receiver of it or you're giving it, but like it's just a thousand texts
and no reply.
Oh, well, but then we debrief when I get home, you know, we talk about all the things that
we've been doing.
We talk about the things that we've been doing I get home, you know, we talk about all
the stuff she sent me as he should. It's almost like in a relationship, if you get a bunch
of texts all day and you don't respond, it's just an agenda for the meeting that you're
going to have at home later. It's it's the minutes. Yeah. Yeah. It's really a memo. Yeah. For what the meeting's going
to be about. Oh that's great. Well here's a memo. Should we take some call. Let's do
it Charles. Hello. Who are we talking to. Who is this. I'm Jay. Yeah. Jay Sir. Chase
Jay with a J. All right. Well welcome to the belly. A podcast belly up to the bar
with us. What's on your mind? Holy smoke first. I can't believe I got through, you know? Yeah.
Hey, thank you for waiting on line with that terrible hold music. We appreciate that. You
know, I gotta be honest. It's better than the last couple of times I've tried to call
in. Okay. We're improving. Yeah. Okay.
It's your album.
You said it was terrible. I didn't realize we switched to my album. So just did it today.
Oh nice. Before it was just a elevator elevator. It was like, yeah, like horror music almost. Yeah. Well, that's an upgrade.
That is an upgrade.
So move, Jared.
All right, Chase.
What's on your mind?
My guy.
So I got to ask, you know, we live in the Midwest.
We get an awful lot of tornadoes.
You guys think we need to change that from tornado warning to tornado
watch. You think we need to flip those around?
Are you saying because when it's a watch, you think we need to flip those around?
Are you saying because when it's a warning, you should really be out there watching?
Exactly. You know, it's a warning, you know, warning. It might happen, but if it's a watch,
you better watch it.
That is, that is a great point. Actually. I, you know, they're, they're never thought
about it like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it didn't make any sense, you know, they're, they're never thought about it like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it didn't make any sense. Um, you know, to hide one of the greatest natural
phenomenons from our, our bare eyes. Well, they're going, they're going out watching
anyways. They are going out watching it's, it's a,
Steve, me, I'm on a volunteer fire department. So I go out and watch for him anyway. So I'm
like, why can't everybody else, you know? Well, and maybe we need to do sort of, so
maybe we have tornado levels, right? So tornado warning is like, Hey, there's a tornado coming
tornado watches. You're going to get your lawn chair out. And then why don't we, if
it's really getting crazy, go out with a bang you know if things are gonna get bad just have tornado parties a turn already
yeah you know like the whole neighborhood just has a block party and
it's just a tornado party and that's really bad 75 people died and you bet
your road in Fargo North Dakota here's's the thing. It's like, all right, think of the, the
probability of this happening, right? Let's say you take a whole neighborhood, you're covering more
surface area, more chances people are going to die. If you put them all in one small area, what are
the chances that tornado hits that exact spot? You basically you're doing less surface area.
So you got a better chance of surviving. Here's really just depends on who forgot to go to
math that Sunday and who pissed off God. I guess. Yeah. You know, if you pissed off God,
you're going to the land of Oz. Well, why don't they know? Well, the, the priest is
going to be there just to confessionals at the tornado party. There you go. So if you go, you go, um, you
know what? I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. It would be cool if there was like a tornado room,
you know, like, um, like you got a mountain or something or a hill, you know, and you
just have a nice like viewing glass thing
So you're technically underground and it's for people to watch tornadoes
Yeah
when when they can't you know
They're some people get very chickeny about a tornado because you know, it's kind of a lethal thing blowing at you at 150 miles an hour
You can understand that. Yep, But we'd be nice for those people
to kind of be able to view it too.
So you want us to start building hobbit houses
into the sides of the hill for viewing tornadoes.
Yeah, now the windows are gonna have to be extra.
That just sounds like a business idea now.
Yeah, tornado, the tornado room.
I mean, not just a basement.
It's just a bar.
It's, yeah, so, right.
Yeah, it's just a bar. We'll call it. We'll call it the tornado room. We'll call it's just a base. It's just a bar. It's yeah. Right. It's just a bar. We'll call it. We'll call it the Tornado Room.
These are tornado shelter or Wendy's. I like the Tornado Room better.
Yeah, the Tornado Room. That would be great. So yeah, we just we got to get investors on
that, I think. So bellied up listeners, if you're interested in investing in the Tornado
Room, you can send the money to me.
And, uh, miles is going to do a lot of the, you know, I think that, uh, you know,
North Dakota is kind of just screwed. We, we, there's not a hill for us to build this into. So
I think it's going to have to be more of Minnesota. Wisconsin's got a lot more hills. Maybe we start
there. Otherwise
we're going to have to be making manmade hills if we're in North Dakota or something.
Yeah. I mean, you can't mess up nature with the, we can't be making manmade hills. Exactly.
Yeah. Let's mess up the nature. It's already there by digging a big hole in the side of
it. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And plus, I think structurally, yeah, structurally speaking, I wonder how much a hill is similar
to a manmade hill is similar to a house.
You know, I think the tornado might just add to that.
Anyway, I think you need a real solid hill.
That's true.
It's got to be a good hill, a hill that's been there for a long, long time.
So you know, it's not going anywhere.
Yeah. And then you just have one panic button, right?
So you got windows all around so you can watch the tornado.
And at the last moment, when it starts getting crazy, hit the button.
The metal things drop in front of the windows and it protects you when it's the worst.
That's that's the move, Miles.
That was the linchpin, because what I was concerned about
was getting a tornado temper-proof glass,
and I didn't know if that would be possible.
You just saved us so much time and research
on how we were gonna do this.
That is so cool.
Yeah.
Anyways, Jase, I gotta tell you, my guy,
thank you for calling in on this.
I think we came up with a great invention,
tornado room and we'll start getting some feelers out there.
We gotta get Miles' dad involved on the construction.
He's gonna hate it.
He is.
We'll start working on the designs of it.
My dad is gonna hate building this thing.
He's gonna hate it.
Because it's different than what he normally does.
And less concrete involved because we're doing a side of the hill, you
know? Yeah. So so the structure is already half there. We appreciate it, man. This is
a great idea. I never thought about that. It should be a tornado watch instead of warning
and flip those two around. Uh huh. And make your name a room here. I'm full of good ideas. Yes, you are. Jase. Yes,
you are. Well, hey, take care of yourself and drive safe out there. All right. Take
care of your folks. They said, all right. Thank you. Very great observation by Jase.
Yeah. Yeah. What's the deal? There's been a lot of tornadoes lately. Hasn't there Charlie?
Oh yeah, miles. Well, I mean, it's a, it's a warmer winter, you know, the warmest winter
on record. And when you get the cold combined with the warm, you know, you get these wild
cold fronts, wild cold fronts mixed with the warm. That just is tornado territory, baby tornado territory. So they're only going to get more intense and all that. So I think
we are on the right edge of the emerging market is what they call that. Charlie market could
franchise the tornado room. Oh my God. The awesome to take another caller. Let's do it.
Welcome to the bellied up podcast. We got on the horn. You got Kyle. What's up,
Charlie and miles. What's up, Kyle. How you doing, man? Oh, you know, just enjoying a
random day off in the middle of the work week. Oh, that's kind of fun. A little few lures
or a what's a Bueller's day off. Barrett's call yours. I almost combined his first name with his last name. Fuelers, fuelers
day off. Ferris Bueller. It's a different kind of movie, man. Yeah, it is. Well, what
are you doing on your day off? Oh So you're not, you're not, you
are lying. It's noon. Oh, it's one o'clock here. I'm East coast time. So you don't sound
like you're 20 beers deep. Are you telling the truth or no? Oh, I'm pretty, I'm pretty good. I'm pretty, uh, pretty toasty right now, as
we would say. Okay. Well, what's on your mind? Oh, so I got, I got just one hell of a predicament
here. So my fiance's pregnant, right? Congratulations on the sex. Thanks. The second kid. So, uh,
I feel like the second one's not as exciting as the first, but, uh,
just being honest, but, uh, just so we're having a girl and,
uh, and, uh, my fiance wants to name her Carter.
There's only a big issue with this. I used to have an act who was a dancer will
say and she went by Carter for her stage name and I really don't know how to, my fiance
she keeps asking me why do you, why are you still against the name Carter? And I, man,
I really don't have the heart to tell this woman why.
Yeah, you are in a predicament, aren't you?
Yeah.
Well, go ahead, Charlie.
When was the last time you, first of all,
where was Carter working?
What city?
Let's get some details on this.
It's a city in New York called Rochester. Oh Rochester. They're known for like yeah. Carter
from Rochester. Now does your fiance know that you have gone to exotic dance facilities before
or is that gonna be news to her? Oh no she knows she knows. We went to one together in Canada.
There's a really nice one across the border, but she
doesn't know that I've needed one. Okay. You know, I just, I really don't know how to even
say why I'm so against the name Carter. I just don't want to name my daughter after
a stripper. I mean that's so how do you think she's going to react if you were just to outright tell
her, Hey, I used to data strip or a stage name was Carter. Oh, I'd probably be sleeping
on the couch, which I don't know if it'd be the worst thing. We're at the stage of pregnancy
where the whole bed is now her bed. So, you know, but I'm just trying to keep the peace.
You don't want to poke the bear as they say.
And when someone's seven months pregnant, you don't really want to poke that bear at
all or even call them a bear to their face. But so here's a solution for you. Just tell
her, don't just don't tell her she was a stripper. Just say I used to date a girl named Carter. Who was it when I didn't
have first time I'm hearing about it back when I was in Rochester. Oh yeah. I mean,
I just leave the stripper part out. Is she going to do a bunch of research on this gal?
She's a, she's a lot smarter of a cookie than people think. So she might, she's got a good
relationship with my mom. So I feel like she's going to ask my mother, you know, she's just,
I don't know if it's lying to her here is the best option nor telling her the option.
Okay. Um, yeah, you can lying is not a good option. The truth is not a good option. Sounds like you're caught between a stripper and a fiance and you never want to be in that
position.
Why does, why is your fiance? Why name your daughter Carter? Don't tell me it's like her
grandmother's name or something.
No, I, she, we wanted to name, we wanted to name our daughter something different. Like
we didn't want to do a basic name like Jessica or Amber or whatever. You know, we wanted
to go with something different and I don't know where the hell she pulled Carter out
of, but that's, that's, that's continuously been the name
continuously brought up. Why don't you just say, I just don't really like it. Cause it
kind of just sounds like a stripper name. Yeah. You know, like I want to, I want to
say that, but let's go back to the don't poke the bear. Oh yeah yeah. You know, I don't want, yeah. It's a pretty-
Yeah, but I guess the moral of the story is,
what are some good girls' names you boys
have on the top of your head?
Well, I would crack open that old Bible, you know,
and just start going down the list.
Ruth.
Mary.
Beth.
Mary Magdalene Sarah Jude Jude Jude Jude that's in the Bible.
Take a sad song.
That's what book of songs Noah Noah can be a girl.
Yes. Yeah, I can a girl. Oh, yes.
Yeah, I can just knock off the eight Noah.
Yeah, so all those are guys Bethesda, right?
Bethesda, who tempted Samson?
Who tried to get on Samson on the roof and gave him a lapper
and then he had to cut his hair.
Who is that?
You guys remember? No, but she bought a, but she was a nice name.
So I mean, we just listed off a bunch of those.
I mean, but she, but now also what you could do, you're saying you got to suggest a better
name than Carter.
So she forgets about Carter.
Yes.
Well, I want to. Yeah. Okay. You know
what you do. You can start thinking about all who's your favorite NFL team, the chargers.
Okay.
No one knows anything about the chargers. Well, I was thinking that if you were a packer,
I didn't know that there were any chargers fans that existed. Yeah. Are you the only chargers fan? Snoop dogs at charges fan.
Just me, just me, my dad and my son. That's about it. Yeah. Jeez. Then did you ever have
a distaste for the Vikings in the late nineties? Cause Chris Carter, you know, um, you can make that thing. The other deal is, um,
uh, like there's June Carter, you know, you can try to think of another Carter association
that has negative, but I'm just listing potential neutrals or positives right now. So one question
for you is, isn't just, I just don't really like it. Not a good enough
reason because as Anna and I are coming up with names, she just, if I just say, Oh, I
just don't really like it that much. She's usually just like, okay, well we'll figure
out a different one then. Well, and we've talked about it in depth and I've told her
multiple times. I really don't like the name Carter too much, but her heart is like that.
Her heart's like that. The name Carter, she wants to do Carter Elizabeth, which I, I like
the middle name. The first name. I really can't about every time I've came up with has
been shot down. Well, here's a question for
you. Why would it be so bad if your daughter was named after a stripper you used to date?
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're not currently dating. It wasn't even a real name. It was a stage
name. And over time, your memory of Carter, the stripper will fade
and the memories of your daughter will replace them. And then occasionally you might, ah,
I don't know that that's a good idea miles. Now that I'm thinking this out, now that I'm
playing it out. So I think you're going to have to find either. You're either going to
have to just say you don't like it and stick to your guns or you're going to have to suggest a better
name. You're going to have to fire open the Bible and start. She already chose Elizabeth
for the middle name. I really like Basheba Basheba Elizabeth. And you can say we're going
to do it with like two E's. So it's kind of different. Let me throw a Y in there. That's
what people are doing these days. Yeah. But Bashe, um, yeah, you, I don't want my daughter public school though. You don't want
your daughter. What bullied in school though. Well, then don't name her Carter. Then don't
name her Carter. Yeah. It sounds like a stripper. Yeah. It sounds like a stripper name, you
know? And, and yeah, just, this is what you're doing, dude.
You're taking the short term L for the longterm W you're telling her Carter
sounds like a stripper name. You're, you're telling her that, um,
you're telling her to her. Now you gotta sleep on the couch. That's fine.
You don't want to sleep in the bed anyway, but in the longterm,
you're not going to have to walk your daughter down the aisle thinking about that stripper you were with in Rochester, New York. That'll be a
distant memory.
And what's she going to do? She's not going to leave them over this. No, you already got
the kid. This is your second kid with seven months. There's no way she's going to break
up with you over a name. Yeah. Hold your ground. You cannot let Carter go through. You can't
have your kid being baptized thinking about glitter.
You cannot have her, you know, walking down the aisle
thinking about stilettos, you know?
You gotta keep the lanes in your brains right,
and this one needs a dead end sign on it, okay?
So don't extend this road. Is that
making sense? That, that, that makes sense. I just, yeah, I'm stuck on finding a name
and naming my son was a lot easier than then my daughter. That's for sure. So what's your
son's name? It's tough for Kyle. He's a junior. Okay. Oh, well what's your wife's name or fiance?
Ashley. Okay. Ashley jr. Boom. Done. See it just like that. Ashley jr. And that's different
dude. That's different. How many juniors do you know on the ladies side? Not a lot. I don't know any me either. And it's 2024.
This is a women's empowerment, you know, um, and to be the, to take on your wife's name,
Ashley junior picture on that. Hey Jay, you can call her a J. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.
All right. We found it. We found it. Yeah. Well, how many beers have you gotten
through now that we've started talking? Oh, I'm just, I'm just drinking the one right
here that I had when we started to slow down once he hit 20. I see. Well, yeah. Yeah. The
kid, the kid gets off the bus at four o'clock my time. So I gotta be somewhat sober
when you get home.
Okay. Yeah. Two hours should make all those 20 beers go through your system pretty quick.
Maybe it makes a water. It's a water and maybe a liquid IV that should bring you right back
to zero.
Some food need, need, need a lunch.
Yeah.
That also would help. All right, man. Well, we appreciate you calling in. I
think, uh, Charlie, we came up pretty good solution. Ashley Jr. I like it. I love it,
man. I take care of drinks up boys. All right. Cheers to you. Cheers. And cheers to Ashley
jr. Bye bye folks. the NFL draft is a week away.
Make Tippy Cow your first pick, that's right.
Oh, nice one Charlie.
You see what I did there, huh?
And for the first pick in the alcohol draft of 2024,
Charlie Barron select.
Tippy Cow.
Out of Wisconsin, wow.
That was a no brainer.
That one was at the top of the draft board for almost every analyst.
So it looks like we're off to a good start.
All is well here in the alcohol draft of twenty twenty four.
I'm telling you this right now, Miles, I drafted a Hall of Famer.
I really looked out. You really did.
Sometimes you luck out and I lucked out with the old tippy cow.
Tip it on back, baby, with some tippy cow.
Moo.
Nikolay Law is Midwest born.
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I like about Russell is I've talked to many lawyers in my day. He doesn't talk to me like
a lawyer. You know what I mean? Oh, we're after 15 minutes. He's like, all right, I
got billy for that. Yeah. And all the jargon and all that. He talks to you like a normal
guy. Yeah. That's what I like about him
So like that bottom to give him a call folks. Yeah. Hello who we chit chatting with here
Hi, my name is Jacob. How's it going? Hi Jacob. It's going very good, sir. You're talking with me and miles more plays. Oh
Welcome to the belly. Yeah
Yeah, man, believe I'm on this is man. I can't believe I'm on, this is awesome.
You are on dude, you are on.
So what's up, what's on your mind?
Belly up to the bar.
Well, first thing first is,
I've been a long time listener,
first time caller of course.
Kind of advice I'm looking for is,
well I'm a little worried you guys
might not be able to air this but
First thing is so right now. I'm currently living with my girlfriend of 10 years
We actually met in high school. We have own a house together got a whole life together and
Right now I'm trying to plan out the whole
Top of the question type of thing. Do you think she
knows it's coming?
She's been more so like, when are you going to do this? When's it going to happen? And
I do have a mild bit of worry that when I do finally ask, he's going to be more of a,
Oh my gosh. And instead of a Tokyo long enough.
So you want to wow her so much. She says, Oh my God, I'm so excited. Instead of took
it long enough is what you're saying. And you're looking for some advice on how to do
that.
Well, that's part of it. But the, the other thing is we we've had this, we've been in
our relationships since high school and you know, we've done a lot of growing up together.
And everything is great in our relationship,
but there's just one aspect that I just,
I'm not sure how to go about like,
getting, working through that.
I've gone, I've seen professional help for it,
and it hasn't gone well, but we're still together
for the better part of it. And I'm just not quite sure what to do because this is the
one reservation I have. Okay. Okay. So, whoa, this is completely different. You, you ripped
the parking brake and we're doing it one 80 right now. This isn't even about a proposal
at all. This is about,
should you get married? Should you get married or should we break up? Yeah. I mean, whoa,
way different question. Now you went to the professionals, you went to the therapist,
it didn't work out, but now you want to come to the right place. Belly on up and tell us,
let's start this over belly up to the bar. Okay. So what's the issue? What's the reservations
that you have?
So what's the, I don't, I don't want to say this because I don't want you guys to lose
a phone call that you can't really care. That's fine. We'll cut it out if you're so okay but basically is we like
it said we live together forever for past two years and gotten along great
but the thing is we don't have a sex life you have been together for ten
years that'll put it yeah I I mean, it makes sense that you
haven't because you're not married yet, you know, and then, yeah, I know. But I'm kidding
with you under normal circumstances. I know. Come on. Under normal circumstances, I would
think that might be a driver of it. But in the two conversations we've had, she's insisted
that that's not the defining factor.
Okay. Well, was there, has there ever been, has it ever been hot and heavy between you
two? Like from the beginning, was it hot and heavy and then it just dwindled out?
Oh yeah. I guess you could say it like that. It's, it's been, it's a weird correlation
that it kind of died off right when we moved in together.
Um, yeah. Well, I mean, have you guys done couples counseling or just you have gone to counseling?
Uh, just me and I tried to bring lessons from that into it and it went terribly.
You tried it in role playing without telling her about it or something. Come out dressed
as Batman. Where's the girl.
Yeah, I wish I was. So what did you try? I ended up trying some advice that my therapist
recommended and it's just, I know. What was the advice? I think it was something along the lines of putting all the
information out there and trying to have a humble conversation about why things are the
way they are. But through probably me being an idiot, it didn't go well.
Don't first of all, you guys stop blaming yourself because it takes two to tango. It
takes two to tango. You know, don't, don't overdo it
on yourself because you're going to regret that in the long run. So was she not willing
to have a conversation about why you guys aren't doing it?
I don't think it was more so that she was unwilling. It was more so that the things
are the way that they are.
Wait, say that again. She was.
She doesn't care. Oh, she doesn't care.
So she doesn't think she thinks things are fine the way they are.
And I don't. How often are you doing the doing the dirty dango?
I think at this point, it's a little over two year hiatus.
Wow. Wow. Yeah. I don't like that number either. Oh my God. You, I mean, um, okay.
Charlie, do it. Should I ask the question? Sure. Should I ask it? I don't want you guys
to think badly of me when I asked this question here. Go ahead. Miles. I don't want you guys to think badly of me when I asked
this question here. Go ahead, miles. I don't. I just need to throw this out there so I
can clear it out of my brain. Just got to toss it out. We're just going to toss it out.
I can pull it right back if I need to. But he can. Do you think she's being satisfied in other ways outside of the household? If she is, she's doing a hell of a job hiding it. So I doubt that. So you don't have any
suspicion that's good.
Have you? None at all. Have you said, have you said, so is this just kind of the norm
because look, have you just told her that doesn't really work
for you and that if that's what she wants,
it doesn't work for you,
so maybe you should see other people?
Most of that sentence up until the last bit.
You've said all of that except for the last bit.
And you've been on the beta month.
Yeah, I've basically asked,
is this what you're comfortable with?
And she more or less in direct words said, yeah.
How old are you guys?
We're both our mid 20s.
Okay, so you got a lot of time to have kids
and to find other people and all that.
I might do that, dude.
You've been in the same relationship for 10 years.
You're unhappy, she is happy, you're two different people.
Unless you can have a conversation and get to the root of it
where the both of you are satisfied,
don't be an idiot and propose.
Well, and I think also the other thing to think about is
there's maybe people out there that'd be like,
wow, he's saying that he doesn't wanna be
in this relationship because the sex life isn't as good. That's kind of shallow. Do not go down
that road at all. It's if that is important to you, that's totally a legit excuse.
Yeah. It's okay to want to do it. Want more than once every two years. And that that's
just that's a bridge pretty far. Like Like you're gonna end up resenting her.
I mean, don't do it for you, honestly.
But do it for you.
Do it for her.
Like this will lead to resentment.
It will lead, I mean, I think there's a deeper issue,
honestly, going on in your relationship.
If that's, you guys aren't really roommates necessarily.
And you've been dating for 10 years, so.
You can certainly say that. No, it just sounds like they years. So no, it just, it just sounds
like they are roommates. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like you are roommates and look, this
could easily be resolved if you go get like a certified couples counselor, but I would
get that counselor before you go through the whole engagement thing or whatever, figure
out what's going on. A lot of times people are just afraid to leave and they just do
what they've always done. Cause there's never a good time to break up a 10 year relationship. But the best
time is before you've married your finances together, you know, or had a kid or yeah,
of course. Yeah. I don't want to get trapped myself when I'm not emotionally secure with
it. Yeah. Yeah.
And I want you to think about, Hey, you get married. Do you want to never have sex again
until you die? Yeah, probably not. But here's the weird part is that she, she really is
passionate and really wants kids. So there's another whole disconnect right there. Well,
yeah. I mean, I think before kids,
you guys just have to figure out,
you're clearly not happy in the relationship.
And, you know, it sounds outside of the realm
of a normal relationship.
Not to say relationships can't go without sex, everybody,
but both people have to be on board with that.
Well, and the other thing is,
is you've gone and you've sought out help. It's not like
you're just saying this on a whim. Like you've thought about this. So I think that you're
justified.
I could also tell dude, when you were first calling in, you were like, yeah, it had been
together 10 years as like first red flag. And then like your hesitation around like even bringing up the, I can't
believe you even called the talk about a proposal. Well, I can't because I get that. But yeah,
you're very far from that. My guy, you got to kind of just,
I want you to also think about that. There's a lucky gal out there who's going to be absolutely
wanting to jump your bones.
And I would, and at this point in my life, I wish it was her.
But hopefully that changed.
Hopefully that changes for the better.
Well, okay. Let's say what's one last thing you can try before any, she makes any rash
decisions, Charlie.
Oh, I think that number one thing is to just have this conversation you're having
with us with her. And if you guys can't both have this conversation without like voices
being raised and it being a, uh, an attack on someone's character, then you guys are
meant to be together. And that's fine. You went really serious there, Charlie. I was
going to say what kind of role playing could he try out? Where's the girl? Hey, let's start with her. What does she like to do for fun? What's her favorite
movie? Her favorite movie. Good. And tell you at the time, I had that's also go. Yeah.
How do you not know her favorite movie? That question miles. What's your favorite movie?
He doesn't like his favorite miles. What's his favorite movie? The hangover. Miles, what's your favorite movie? Miles, what's his favorite movie? The
hangover. Okay. There's a nice, what does, what is your gal like to do? What's your gal
like to do? What's her name? Oh, maybe don't say it if you don't want it out there.
Maybe not. I can tell you, she works at a legal firm. When she's not at law firm, what
am I talking about? When she's not at work, she's usually at home reading. We both got two dogs and two cats and she doesn't.
She likes to go bowling every week.
She likes what?
Every week.
Go bowling? So she's a lawyer. Here's what you got to do. Get her to sign a contract for X amount of sexy times a year, speak her language contractually,
lock her in. Yeah. And say, you can redline this if you want to and just see what her
red line is. She may negotiate, be like, Hey, we're going to do less blow jobs more, you
know, just regular missionary, you know, all of that.
And there's gonna be a negotiation process,
but if you can get her locked in
X amount of times a year, that'd be great.
Yeah, I think maybe contract about to put
into the estate plan.
Question, what do you do for a living?
I'm an engineer for an automation contractor.
Got it.
So you got, do you guys both make the same amount of money roughly?
No, I make a little bit more just because of where we live.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, well you could also go the bowling route.
I mean, if you think about it, bowling is very sexual.
You're putting your fingers in holes.
There's a lot of grease and lube involved and there's pins, just pins on pins. You're an engineer, right?
That's right. Yeah. All right. I bet you could crack open a pin and make that pin jiggle
jiggle. You know, I'm doing some math on that. That could be fun. Yeah. Why don't you just
throw one down the lane and you hit a strike? Yeah. I like that. That's a. Yeah. Why don't you just throw one down the lane and hit a strike?
Yeah. I like that. That's a good one. Maybe, uh, you know, she needs to pick out her bowling
balls and, uh, try and bowl 300. And you know what, dude, maybe, maybe, maybe you got to,
before having a serious conversation with her, maybe take what miles is saying to heart.
Maybe you set up the ideal date night for her.
Really put her in the mood.
Put some effort out into this.
Well, maybe it's maybe it could be just a lack of that, you know, kind of surprise her a little bit.
Buy her a nice bowling ball, you know.
Have you bought her a bowling ball ever?
Well, I never had the chance.
She got a brand new one right when she graduated high school
and those things last 20, 30 years.
Alex, I've never thought about that.
It's been 10, man.
People can use a second bowling ball.
When was the last time you went bowling with her?
With her or she was bowling and I was there.
With her.
Couple of weeks ago.
Okay, so you do this often.
Do you guys go on a lot of date nights?
I'd say we do.
Not heavily with the bowling,
but she's in a league that goes every week. Are there any attractive fellows in the league? No, it's a bowling league. The middle of the
week to all that fails. You could try getting out of the shower, trying the helicopter,
see what happens. That one not come up in my ideas yet. Yeah. Maybe just try banana
hammocks. That could be a good one. Okay. That's an idea. I don't know, dude. I think
you're just going to have to, I mean, make first moves. And if it happens enough to where
she shuts you down, then you got, I mean,
you got your answer. Does she have a really good cause maybe she's a gal that finds it
kind of a turnoff to talk about sex where she just wants to do sex. Then she wants to
do it like they do it on the discovery channel. Animals don't sit down and look at each other
and go, we should probably
have more sex. One of them just makes a first move and then either they accept it or they
don't and you move on from there. Do less talk. Yeah. Yeah. Plus talking. Do you have I have a thing, a mechanical device in her possession that moves around with.
Yeah.
Can be charged.
No, it's rechargeable.
I bought it for her about four or five years ago.
That was your problem, dude.
All right.
Hey, you gave it.
Put yourself out of business first.
First order of business is you find that thing and you burn it. Yeah. Get rid of it. Burn
it. Yeah. Or, you know, maybe you can find another use for it or get it involved. You
know, I said do the helicopter. You're going to do the double
copter. You're going to be swinging that thing around and your thing around and say it's
go time, baby.
And then you can do your best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. Get to the chopper. That was a
terrible impression. Yeah, dude, you put yourself out of business. That's what happened. Yeah. So get that out
of the house at the peak. How much were you guys rocking and rolling a week? A week. Let
me think about that. Maybe once, maybe once every two weeks. So 0.5 times a week
at, at the peak. It was once every two weeks. Okay. And how often would you be into it?
If, um, if you were into it, if you could, how often would you, I don't know. You can't draw assumptions from data. You don't have. I honestly,
dude, I have this conversation, but it sounds like you're going to need to get out there
and get some new experiences, figure out what you like before you settle down and learn
from your mistakes. Don't be tossing around toys that are going to put you out of business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Terrible Valentine's gift. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, we've all been there.
Hey, good luck, man.
You got a lot of big life decisions coming up.
And I'd get another therapist too.
Help guide you through.
Appreciate it.
Yeah, or you just call us back in a couple weeks and we'll guide you through too, but you through. Appreciate it. Yeah, or you just call us back in a couple weeks
and we'll guide you through too, but you know.
Give you a couple updates there.
We're not certified.
We are currently drinking.
So, you know, take all this with a grain of alcohol.
More than a few grains, I'd say.
Yeah.
All right, man.
Well, good luck and thanks for calling in. Thank you
guys for taking my call. You guys have a nice day. Tell you folks SSI and watch out for
all four seasons in one day. I like that. Yeah. I appreciate that. We'll see you soon.
A funny guy, man. Yeah. Nice guy. It's not going to work. Really putting the really putting
the cart before the horse. Oh my ask it about proposal advice to start. That's what you're going to get here at the
bellied up podcast. We're going to go deep. We're going to find what the real issue is.
Tell it to you like it is. Yeah, I can't. I mean, I can't believe it happens all the
time. A lot of people out there. If you had to put money down, yes or no. Do you think
she maybe is seeing another guy? I don't know.
Cause some people are just like kind of asexual, you know? Yeah. Like that's a thing. Some
people just not into it, which is completely fine. You just gotta find another person.
That's also asexual. You can't find a guy who's, you know, looking at, but the other
thing you've been with someone since high school first love, I mean, it's, it's hard.
It met, it fucks with your mental, you know? So I
don't know. Well, should we take another caller? Yeah. Oh, that's it. Charlie, that's it. That's
another episode of the bellied up podcast in the book here at Schuller's here in Golden
Valley. Always a great spot. Might have to get some pull tabs here before we leave Charlie.
What do you think? Oh, that's happening right now right now box is what I call it. Well hot box and hot box and rocks in all right well guys
Thanks for tuning in to another episode as always tip your bartender, and we will see you in the next one