Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Had To Undress Some Shrimp (Re-Release)

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

3-2-1 - HAPPY SASHEER! HAPPY NICOLE! This week we discuss undressing shrimp, restaurant horror stories, post-covid bad behavior, why everyone is talking to Nicole at the airport, birth stones and their spiritual meanings, Nicole’s ceiling keyboard, the colors everyone wants to see on Sasheer, going braless, and more. They take a quiz to see if they would be better with Shrek or Prince Charming, and answer a listener question on whether you should be friends with someone who collects teeth. Plus - Sasheer explains sandwiches!   Here is the B for Bones website we look at: https://bforbones.com/Here is the quiz we took in today's episode: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ranma/shrek-soulmate-quiz Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail]424-645-7003  Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/friends.

Let's record five, four, three, two, one. Happy. Happy. Happy. Nicole. One, two, one. Happy Christmas! Nicole. Boy, oh boy.

It's fun to do things where you don't know what's going to happen. And you just go, okay, maybe it's this. Always an adventure. I really didn't know where we were going to go. We figured it out. I love it so much. I just want to say,

yesterday, I was served uncooked shrimp. Ah! Can you even? So it was shrimp that was, um, you had to undress it yourself. So, like, you have to do the work. They gave me a plate of shrimp with its head still on. With its fucking, like, whiskers. What are those? It's like his beard or whatever? It's like right under whiskers. What are those? It's like his beard or whatever. It's like right under his head.

What are those? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Are they whiskers? I don't know, but they're like little little thingies. I don't know. Like, I don't know. Shrimps are wild and shrimps are wild. They just give them to you the way like they pull them out of the fucking ocean, put them on a grill, give them to you and then go, hey, friend, do the work.

Yes! Yes! The shrimps are so scary. Entennules? Entennules? Entennules. Entennules. They give them to you with the Entennules, the eyes. It was upsetting for me. Wait, so are you sure that they did cook it or...? Oh, so I undressed the shrimp and it was gray. There was like a little gray part on it.

And I think we all know when shrimps are gray, that means they're still on the ice and they have not been cooked. And this is supposed to be... Was it hot or cold? It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. All dressed shrimp that I had to undress. Then they weren't cooked all the way through. Like, these clothes, the shrimp were not cooked.

Did you say something? I did. And the server said to me, they spend the same time on the grill. Sometimes there's a little gray, but it's cooked. But this shrimp was bigger than the other shrimp. And I think that shrimp needed to be on the grill a little bit longer. Okay, so they were at least admitted that that's not how it's supposed to be.

No, no, she said, it's fine. They're all on the grill for the same amount of time. And then my rebuttal that I did not say out loud was, this shrimp was bigger than the other shrimp. This shrimp needed to be cooked a little longer. Um, but I just said, okay. And then I woke up today and, oh, the tum-tum. The tum-tum. So you ate it.

I ate other shrimps and I did not... I didn't clock it, you know? I was too busy undressing it. You know how sometimes you undress somebody and you don't clock something not right on time? And that might have happened with a couple of the shrimps I ate. Damn. That's how diseases spread. That is how diseases spread. When we get undressed or you're undressing somebody

or a shrimp, you gotta look. You gotta keep the lights on, you gotta look. Look at every crevice. I went to a Mexican restaurant recently, and there was like a piece of plastic in my food. Like, it was in my mouth, and I was like, uh-oh, and I thought it was food, but it was clearly plastic. And then my man, usually I'm the person who does this,

but he was like, excuse me. There was a piece of plastic in her food and that's not what she wanted. And I was like, look at you. Did he really say that's not what she wanted? No, no, I think he was like, actually, it was much nicer. He was like, just so you guys know, like there, I don't know if it came off a packaging or something, but like there's plastic that landed in the food. And then the server was like, oh, things were letting us know.

Oh, you know, this actually does look like it came from packaging when we opened the lid or something. And he goes, you know, one time this woman ordered food and she complained because there was like a metal piece in there. And she was like, oh, no, I like I could have hurt myself. And he was like, oh, no, I like I could have hurt myself. And he was like, yeah. And it turns out it was a piece from the lid of the oven or something like that. And I thought he was going to be like, turns out she like a piece of metal

from her home landed in the food. But he was like, she was right. And actually, it was deadly. It was a piece of metal from the oven. OK, I'll I'll go back to the kitchen and get the rest of your food. And I was like, why did he tell us this story? Why would he tell us? He's like, you know that plastic piece?

There was even worse thing that happened to some other lady. That's so funny. I was working in a restaurant. I was just a hostess and someone found like-blown twisty tie in their food. And I walked in, the guy was like, can you come over here? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, hey, I just don't wanna, like, make a huge deal, but, like, there's a twisty tie in the food.

And I went, damn! That's not right. That's nasty. I'm sorry that happened. I can't believe there's a twisty tie in your food. And then my manager came over and was like, shut the fuck up. His name, oh, I don't want to say his name, but he spoke like this and he went, "'Nicole, stop it, shut the fuck up, you can't do that.' "'Other people will hear and then they'll start

finding stuff in their food.' And that's what he left it at. And I think he meant like, people would like come up, like start lying, be like, "'Oh, there's something in my food too, I want stuff for free.' But then I just kept thinking, I was like, do we just put things in everybody's meals and they're just not finding them all the time?

Oh, no. I don't know. That was a wild restaurant. It was that was a dirty. I like went to the basement of that restaurant and I was like, oh, people have to eat food from this basement. And then one of the cooks, I was like, how can we have to keep... We had like family meal in between, like we had a very dead time at like 5.30 before dinner, and we would have family meal in the back.

And there was like one week where we only got chicken quesadillas. And I was like, why are we only getting chicken quesadillas? And one of the cooks was like, oh, because the chicken expired yesterday. And I was like, yesterday, because the chicken expired yesterday. And I was like, yesterday? But we're eating it today? Yeah, they would just give us old fucking food. It was the wildest place I've ever worked. It's amazing that we still eat at restaurants,

if you worked at a restaurant. Like, if you've seen how gross it can be, it's amazing that we're still like, yep, I'm going to trust that everyone back there is doing what they're supposed to be doing and giving me my food. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I worked at a restaurant where I watched

a cockroach crawl out of a coffee maker. And then I watched a server bat it away and then make someone a cappuccino. And I was aghast. And he goes, what, do you want me to tell them that we're out of cappuccino? And I was like, I don't, I don't know. I didn't have an answer. I was like, I guess, yeah, you tell them,

and then you clean it? But it's just like, I don't know, it's not his job to clean, I don't know. It was like nobody's job to clean stuff. It was so wild. Oh, gosh. I don't know. It was like nobody's job to clean stuff. It was so wild. Oh, gosh. That restaurant was disgusting.

That basement was like mice, roaches, like all of the critters were like, we live here, thank you so much. Nobody bothers us one time. Oh, my gosh. It's gross. But also the worst thing is, I still ate from both of those restaurants because I didn't have money and this was free food.

Yeah. Yeah. But I did make good money working in a restaurant. I mostly catered and actually worked in a restaurant proper. Oh. Interesting. You know, you get to see different places, go to weddings, sporting events. And then, yeah, that was great, because I would just take the food home too.

I'd just shovel it in a bag. All the chicken tenders I didn't eat. I'd just take it back to my roommates. But yeah, it was a lot of like grunt work, a lot of like lifting containers in and out of trucks, setting things up, and then a little bit of serving. Mostly serving wine. And did people tip you?

Yeah, people did. It was nice. I try really hard to tip at like weddings or festivities or whatever, because I feel like people don't tip. There was a one party I went to where I got a glass of wine. And then I was like, hey, where's your little tip jar? And he was like, oh, we don't have one. And I was like, you don't have one?

And he was like, no. So I was like, give me a glass. I took a glass and I had I was trying to give him five and I had some singles in my wallet. So I put like six or seven dollars, like $10 in, but I like put it in a way where it looked like there was a decent amount. And then I came back later and I was like, can I have another glass? And he was like, yeah.

Also, that worked. People were like, they were like, we have to tip now. Oh. Yeah. That's good. So like, that's what I do. I'm like putting Evelyn's stuff and like, I just like helping everybody where I can. You're like the Robin Hood of Spoon Service. BOTH LAUGH

Yeah, I'm the Robin Hood of... BOTH LAUGH Sometimes I would be at, like, a party where... Or I'd be working at a party where there's, like, a lot of young, rich people, and then if people start getting drunk, they're like, you could have a drink too if you want. Just party with us.

Because like I'm the same age and I'm like, I really can't and do not want to. I'm guilty of doing that. Sometimes I like a server, so like enough. I'm like, come on, just have like a glass, just sit down with us. Like, you're like really, you're the homie. Come on. You're my friend. Don't you want to be my friend? But like not at all.

I'm working. I went to a restaurant the other day. I think I told you about this. And the server sat down with me in L.A. It was like, hey, guys, hey, friends. Like, what do you think about today? We brunch in. And I was like, um, we're brunching. But I was like, it felt very strange.

Also, I guess, like in a pandemic world where I was like, you're in my space. I'm so sorry. I need you on the other side of the table. You cannot sit with me. What is this? People are you. You've said it before. people are on their worst behavior. I feel like nobody really knows how to interact anymore. No, no. It's like either too much or too little. You're either silent and avoidant or you're way too close and way too talkative.

Yeah, I... Everybody was talking. I was at the airport the other day and everybody was talking to me and I was like, I don't want this. I don't want this. You said everyone was talking about how good of sleep you got. Yes. And I also forgot to tell you at the Delta Lounge, thank you. She is a diamond medallion. She's allowed in the lounge.

Ha ha ha ha. But there was a lady working in the lounge and she kept being like, anything you need, I will get it for you. And I was like, I don't think I need anything. I got, you know, some food here, got some drink. I'm good. And she was like, OK, anything you need. And I said, OK. And then she came and took my plate and she was like, do you need anything?

And I was like, what can she give me that's not already out? Is there secret food in the back that she can... I don't know. And then on my way out, she, like, grabbed my arm and was like, thank you for coming in. And I was like, okay, you're welcome. She was like, goodbye. She was too old to be a fan. She was very old, very old.

So old that I was like, I don't think you should be working anymore. Who's taking care of you at home? She was old. Does someone know where you are, man? Oh, does the home know you've escaped, found a uniform and now work at the Delta Lounge in Detroit? Yeah, it was wild. Just people keep talking about you, I don't want it.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's okay, I think I just have like a round, dumb, friendly face. It's not dumb. But it's friendly. Yeah, and I think my like resting face is just kind of like... do-do-do-do-do-do. It's like the music that plays with my face. My resting face is like...

Duh! It's like the music that plays with my face. And then like, my face is like, "'Duh!" (*BOTH LAUGHING*) Except when we were coming back from Mexico, you had a little like, "'Boopy dee dee dee dee, boop boop boop ba ba ba!"

And that man was like, "'Oh, this is my chance, I gotta talk to this lady." Yeah, and you turned right around, didn't help me at all. I'm sorry, I will never live that down. This is part of my truth now. I'm really sorry. I will never live that down. This is part of my truth now. I'm really sorry. I should never have abandoned you. Left me to the wolves.

I'm sorry. Can I just tell you what your house coat looks like? Yeah. It looks like Sabretooth's coat in the X-Men movies. Oh, yeah. I can see that. I really like it. It's got like, it looks like Sherling, but it's not. It's a this is a cheap Urban Outfitters purchase.

Oh, no. Get them. Talk shit about Urban. No kidding. I mean, I think they have good stuff, even though it's fast fashion and I shouldn't even get anything from there. But also, it's easy. It is. And this is a Farmrio jumpsuit. It sure is. I love Farmrio. And Farmrio, if you're listening, please do plus sizes. You already do the oversized cardigans.

So like do other stuff, please. Please. Could you describe Sashir's jumpsuit for the listener? Oh, yes, because this is an audio medium. So it's got mushrooms on it. It's black-based and colorful. Yeah. Kind of like you, black-based and colorful. Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, how dumb, how dumb.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha dumb. I like that. Someone tagged me in a post where they were analyzing color schemes for people. I don't, I don't, I didn't actually look at the full account, but they were talking about like dark skin tones and colors that work well with them. And then they were like showing my looks, like from different red carpets and things that I've gone to. And they're like, she looks best in bright colors. And then they showed me in like all blacks

and they're like, look how washed out she is. And I was like, they didn't have to do that. They could just say, I look better in bright colors. Wait, that's so funny. I feel like people now are just like, nobody gives a fuck. They're like, yeah, she looks great here, but one of them see where she looks really dumpy and shitty. Here we go.

Like the first few posts where you're talking about how good I look, but I didn't need the comparison. I think you look good in black. Thank you. I think bright colors do bring out my golden undertones. Mmm. I have red undertones. Mmm. Yeah, and I love a jewel tone.

Yeah, you look good in jewel tones. Yeah, like, I was wearing a Goldenrod shirt yesterday. She looked good. Okay. She looked good. Okay, she looked good. Alright, alright, okay. And I love purple. Ooh, daddy, purple is everything to me. Magenta, fuchsia.

Ooh, emerald green. Yeah! Ha-ha-ha-ha. Turquoise, yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum. Maroon. Ooh-poop-poop-poop. Ha-ha-ha. I think I've just named all the colors. And me, that's a good amount. Yeah.

Yeah, I like them all. I don't really wear green that much, though. Mm-mm. I think I'm gonna get into emerald. Yeah, I get into emerald. Yeah, I'm gonna start fucking around with Emerald, see what happens. That's my birthstone.

What's mine? I don't know. I hate it. I don't know. We have to find out. What's my birthstone? What month are you again? August.

Wow, so you answered that faster than me? I almost forgot when I was born. You often forget. And you're always like, how old am I? I don't know. I don't know. I currently do not know how old I am. I think I'm 36 or I might be 34. Oh, no, I'm 35.

You're 35. That's the one I skipped. And I don't care to be 35 anymore. Ew, what's a peridot? Hmm. A peridot? This is like a discounted emerald. Why am I a peridot?

It's like a faded emerald, yeah. I'm so sorry. What's the spiritual meaning of a peridot? Yeah. Okay, known for its stone of compassion, Peridot is believed to bring good health, restful sleep, and peace to relationships by balancing emotion and mind. This friendly, bright green stone also has the uncanny ability

to inspire eloquence and creativity. Oh, my God, it brings delight and good cheer, so I should get a peridot something. You gotta get a peridot, yes. Wait, okay, Kimmy, can we Google some Peridot jewelry? Hm, jewelry? Well, should I get a ring? Should I get a necklace? Should I get a bracelet?

Maybe a ring or a necklace, I think. Ooh, earrings. Jordan's saying earrings. Ooh, yes. I love how quickly I've turned on Peridot. I was so mad at first, then found out the meaning and was like, gotta get some. Ha ha ha ha. This is my new thing now.

Wait, what is your birthstone, Sashir? I'm very sure it's emerald. Yeah. Emerald is a life-affirming stone. It opens the heart chakra and calms the emotions. It provides inspiration, balance, wisdom, and patience. life-affirming stone, it opens the heart chakra and calms the emotions. It provides inspiration, balance, wisdom and patience. It is said to promote friendship,

peace, harmony and domestic bliss by enabling the wearer to both give and receive unconditional love." I like that. I like that too. I think I might have an emerald necklace somewhere. I feel like my dad gave me like like, a collection of, like, gemstone necklaces that, like, when I was 13. And I was like, I'm not wearing these. Break them out, baby. Things come full circle.

You think things are dumb when you're young, and then you get old and go, wow. Wow, no, that's cool. That's right. Like, I forever will kick myself for not continuing with my piano lessons. Uh, my mom was like, one day, you're gonna wanna be an adult, and you're gonna wanna sit down at a dinner party

where there's a piano and be able to play something beautiful. You know, do your lessons. And I was like, you stupid adult. Nobody wants to just sit down and play a piano. I wish I could. I have long fingies. I can do the chords. I wish I had done it. Dang.

Shaking my dang head. Well, you can still do it now. Time's done. Time's done. I actually have a keyboard and a couple like intro to piano books. You do? I do. Do you want that keyboard?

I guess I haven't used it in a very long time. But in my mind I'm like, what if I break it out one day? Maybe I'll get myself a purple keyboard and put it in my office. Sounds great. Yeah. Yeah, you guys basically. Maybe I'll get myself a purple keyboard and put it in my office. Sounds great. Yeah. Yeah, you guys basically. She just took a long look at our whole office.

Everybody leaned back. I am like running out of room because I just put up a pole in here. And then I'm running into your pro. I might have too many chairs and I might have to get rid of this chaise lounge if I want to put a piano in here. Wait, are you getting a piano or a keyboard? A keyboard. But I think I want to...

A keyboard takes way less space. I guess I want to, like, leave it out or whatever. But I guess I could put it away. Yeah. You could fold it up, put it under something or behind something. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay, so I don't have to get rid of that chaise lounge. I see this is why I love you. You're like, I'll figure out your chair problem.

I will figure out a way for you to keep that chair. You have to keep the chair. You have to keep that chair. You can attach the keyboard to the ceiling if you want, but don't get rid of that chaise lounge. Imagine I had a keyboard on the ceiling. And I'm like, see you later, guys. I gotta go play my keyboard. That's a funny visual for me.

You could kill two birds with one stone. You could climb the pole and then stay up there and then play. Honestly, pretty good conditioning. Absolutely. Can I tell you a mistake I made yesterday? Okay. Okay, I was like, let's hop on this pole, bitch. Didn't stretch.

Didn't do anything that you do to get ready to pole dance. And she pulled a couple muscles! No! Yeah, I like hurt myself, and I was like, fuck, Nicole. And then I was like, well, I guess I don't pull anymore. And I was like, what are you doing? You're such an extremist. Just stretch. Just do what you're supposed to do before you get on it.

Yeah. Dang, shaking my dang head. Shaking my dang head. -♪ MUSIC PLAYING -♪ -♪ MUSIC PLAYING -♪ Should we take a quiz? Yeah. Okay. I'm excited about this.

I'm excited about this too. Do you feel sleepy today, Cishir? I'm so sleepy. The sun didn't come out today. Yeah. When it's gloomy out, it's such a stark difference from what it usually is. It really affects my physical being.

Same-sies. And then today, I was like, how did I ever live in New York for all these years I lived in New York? Because there are, like, weeks where it's just, like, dark and gloomy. I don't know how I did it. OK, so here's something I'm into. What's your most toxic trait? Or are you more compatible with Shrek or Prince Charming? Those are the two that I'm interested in.

Two very different quizzes. I feel like we have to do Shrek. Yes. OK, great. That's the one I was like really leaning towards. When I went to the dentist last, they were like, what would you like to watch on Netflix? Because while they work on you, you get to watch Netflix. And I was like, Shrek, Shrek points. I watched Shrek in its entirety. And then they were like, oh, do you want to watch something else? And I was like, just restart it.

And then I went, I watched Shrek one and a half times the other week. Damn, you were there for a long time. Bitch, every time I go to the dentist, they go, we are doing the most work on you. Because I never ask what they're doing before they do it. So the day I got my root canal and my two wisdom teeth taken out, I had no idea that's what was getting done. I thought I was getting one or the other,

and they were like, nah, girl, we're doing it all. Oof. Still haven't recovered. Which two words describe you the most? Sweet and funny. Sexy and rude. Sexy and rude. I... Wired and outgoing.

Funny and cute. Spicy and rude. But in a funny way. And I don't know. This is very funny. That's so funny. I mean, how would... Oh my goodness, I wonder.

I would say, I would say, I would say, This is very funny. That's so funny. I mean, how would... Oh, my goodness. I wonder. I would say, I feel like I would maybe be spicy and rude, but in a fun way. I think maybe funny and cute. Mm-hmm. I agree with that. Or wired and outgoing. Oh.

You think wired and outgoing? For you. Okay. All right, I'll go with that. Wired and outgoing. And Sashira's sleepy. Oh. Sashira's spicy and rude, but a fun way. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Okay, choose a dog. A husky with pretty blue eyes. A golden retriever holding a flower. A pug with some Mr. Magoo glasses. Um, I don't know what this wrinkled guy is. But he's cute. Maybe a mastiff? I don't know. Yeah, probably.

They'll say that. Okay, I'm gonna say the pug with the Mr. Magoo glasses. I'm gonna say golden retriever with the little flower. Yeah, I think that is you. Yeah. Choose some food. Pizza. Oh, I'm so sorry. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P I'm definitely picking pizza. Uh-huh. I would normally pick pizza, but I'll just, I'll pick steak.

I do love a good steak. You do love a good steak. Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza. Every Disney princess has their favorite color. If you were royalty, what would your favorite color be? Red. Pink. Orange. Blue. Red. Pink.

Orange. Blue. Green. Purple. That's the one I pick. Obviously. Yeah. Black.

White. I think I'd pick orange. Orange looks really good on me. Mm-hmm. Orange does look really good on you. Thank you. You're welcome. I didn't think I liked it. That was like my my college colors, orange and blue.

And I was like, oh, orange. But then later in life, I started wearing orange. I was like, whoa, it's actually really good on me. I think I'm also hesitant to wear orange. I know I do not like an orange lip that does not look good on me. But I got these orange ribbed flares from a company called Lisa Says Gah. And they look really cute on me.

Okay, nice. LISSA SAYS GAH. They have some really cute shit. That dress that I wore in Mexico where I was like, guys, I'm not wearing a bra. That was Lisa Sezga. Ooh, cute. I want to go out more in a bra,

but I think I have to wear black to hide the titty sweat. That's what they don't tell you. Like, I have tiny boobs, but like, I do get a little under-titty sweat and that leaks out. And does that happen to you? Because sometimes you do bra-less sometimes. Oh, my God. Not anymore.

You do bra less sometimes. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! The mind is a prison for me. You don't do bra less anymore? No, it got uncomfortable. Like, my titties be flopping. And that would happen to me. I would get underboob sweat and I was like, this is unbearable.

And also I like saw some pictures I would I went through a phase where I was like even doing shows without a bra and I saw some pictures of myself and I was like, I don't like this. Hmm. Interesting. It's weird because I was like looking at the pictures and I was like, damn, they're even smaller without a bra. And I don't really wear padding anymore. But like something like the underwire does,

I guess it gathers them to make them look slightly bigger. But I was like, yeah, I really have little Hershey kisses. But I embrace them and I love them now. It took almost 72 years straight into retirement for me to love my titties. Okay, which sea animal do you vibe with? A turtle. Dolphin. Fish.

Shark. Seal. Seahorse. I used to love seahorses growing up, and I would draw them. And I would also draw otters. I loved otters growing up. Yeah.

But as an adult, the sea animal that brings me joy is a dolphin. Final answer. They gave you the explanation. Mm-hmm. I... Thank you for the explanation. I think I identify most with a turtle, because you can go inside your shell. Yeah, yeah, I see that for you. I wish it was like socially acceptable to wear like shells.

And when you were like, I don't want this, you can go right back in your shell. Oh, yeah. I guess you could put a hood. I just put my hood up or. But yeah, if there's anything you can go inside of, that would be nice. Well, on that flight where everyone decided to talk to me, I had my hood up and my mask on. Truly, all you could see was a sliver of my giant glasses. And they were still like, she needs to be spoken to.

Oh, no. Sure didn't. Finally, choose a game. Among Us? Minecraft. Fortnite? Final Fantasy VII. Animal Crossing.

Overwatch. Wow, you have some strong feelings about animal pressing. Ha ha. Tim Nook wants you to get bells. And I didn't sign up to play a game where I have to work. Everyone else had a house and I was living in a tent. Okay? I was really upset about it. I was playing it in the height of the beginning of the pandemic.

And people were like, it's fun. I was like, it's fun. I'm fishing and catching boots. I could I never caught fish. I never had anything to give to him. Or Tom Nook, I don't even remember his name. I hated him. But it's the only game I've watched on that are played here. So I'll say Animal Crossing.

Mm, I think I've only played Minecraft, I think. I don't even know what Minecraft is. Am I thinking of the right thing? Is it the thing where you push a bunch of Xs... and then there's like a bomb eventually? Push a bunch of Xs? No, you're thinking, I know, you're thinking Minesweep. I am thinking of Minesweep.

Yes. Okay. I have not played Minecraft. You pulled up a picture and it looks very elaborate. It did not look like what Minesweep looks like. I guess... Yeah, what is Among Us? Oh, that looks cute. It's like, it was that game that got big during the pandemic,

where it's a lot like the game Mafia. You're trying to figure out someone sabotaging. It's where all those, like, sus memes came from. Oh, I don't remember those memes. Also, I don't... You said murder? I don't... I have played murder no less than 42 times, and I don't understand those memes. Also, I don't... You said murder? I don't... I have played Murder no less than 42 times, and I don't understand how to play. Like, you have to, like, put your head down or whatever,

and then someone's a... I'm like, who's the murderer? Who am I? I don't... I don't... I never understood it. Have you ever played it this year? I think I've played it a couple times in college. But you know me. I don't like games. You hate games. It's just, played it a couple of times in college, but you know me. I don't like games. You hate games. It's just like a waste of time. I want to talk to people.

Maybe Final Fantasy. I definitely remember that being a game. I definitely remember that being a game. That's funny. This is. This is Nicole. Yes. Oh, my God. Buzzfeed finally gave me what I wanted. Fund Buzzfeed. I'm no longer team defund.

Shrek is your soul mate. I hope you're happy because I don't think you would want to date Prince Charming anyway. Watch out though, because I think you might have to fight Princess Fiona for him. That's fine. I'll fight her. I also got Shrek. Oh, shit. You might have to fight me too. Oh, my God. I can't wait to fight all these women for my man. I mean, I don't think to fight all these women for my man. I mean, I don't think anyone wants to have Prince...

What answers would you have to give to get Prince Charming? I don't know, like, sweet and like, goodly. I don't know. I don't know. Goodly. Goodly, yes, that's the word I said. That's the one I chose. Goodly. Um, Prince Charming, I'm just like, what is your name?

It can't be Charming. What's your government name? How do we... Why do we call you Prince Charming? And like, we know Cinderella's name. Why are you anonymous? What is your name? Say his name. Say... Name. Say.

That got me good in a way that I can't explain. That was funny to share. Boy, that got me. You know what you also look like? Oh, yeah, please. Moon King, which is a Marvel show or something where someone's like white and stuff. Oh, yeah. And they're wearing white. That's not it.

Give me... Ha ha ha! It's Moon Knight. It's Moon Knight. You're so close. Oh! Ha ha ha! Damn! I also just learned about it from newcomers.

Um, it's... Marvel'sers. It's a Marvel stuff. There's a lot of stories that you have to like remember. And then they like, I didn't know there's like infinity stones in every fucking movie. And they're like, these gems, these jewels. And I'm like, which one's a paradox? Is that what that's? A paradox.

A paradise. Okay, let's help people. Hey, Nicole. I'm Sushir. My name is Laura. I live in Austin, Texas. I'm a big fan. My wife and I love you. My wife specifically loves your new show, Nicole, where you're always in a winery because

we're always in a winery. Okay, so quick question. I was at a party this past weekend and it was a friend's crawfish boil. You know, here in Texas we do crawfish boil. I'm sure they do those in other states. And we were mainly meeting new people, you know, it was like my friends' friends. And so you're just like talking with randos

you've never talked to in your life. And we met this girl, my wife and I, my wife didn't really like to talk to people. She was always like, shut up Laura, you're talking too much. And I started talking to this girl and her husband. And we find out that their high school sweetheart, she's just like my wife and I, and we're like, oh, so cute. And I'm talking to her, we kind of become like little party friends. We party

together for like a good three hours, having fun. And it's time to leave the party. And I go back over to my new friend to say goodbye to her. And she's like, let me get your number, let's meet up. We both live in Austin. And as I'm taking down her number and putting it on my phone, she's like, look, you guys, I really wanna be your friend, but just so you know, I'm into death. I'm into death and I like to collect teeth. I swear to God. And she has a she's

like look and she has a necklace around her neck with human teeth. I'm talking like 15 teeth. And she's like I just don't want that to weird you out. I want you to know ahead of time before we become VFS that I really like teeth and look I told my wife we get the car my wife's like hell no okay and anyways I told my wife look we shouldn't hate or shade somebody because they're into human teeth and death but how do I break it to her? Now she's texting me that's that's my question. She's texting me what do I say to this girl because I don't think we're compatible. Friends, I just don't. So that's my question. If this gets on the podcast I'm gonna be hype. Again, I love you. Tashir, I'm trying to come see your show in Austin. Just wanna let you know, Nicole,

I'm bummed you're not coming to Austin anymore for the Comedy Festival, but I love you guys so much. Your friendship goals and much love from Austin, bye. Wow, what a wild voicemail, I loved it. Here's the answer. Teeth gave you an out. She said, I want you to know before we become BFFs that I'm a tooth collector, I'm a bone collector

and I like death. And you get to say, that's too heavy for me. I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you were upfront,, but like, my interests don't align with teeth collecting and death. I'm more like, um, I love handshakes and sunshine, you know, or whatever you're into. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. I agree. She, she already gave you a warning because she, somewhere inside of herself knows not everyone's going to be okay with this. already gave you a warning because she somewhere inside of herself knows not everyone's going to be okay with this. So I think you can be like, you know what? I thought about what you said. And for those reasons I'm out.

I'm I can't can I. Yeah. How did it not come up earlier? If you're so into it, if you're a tooth hound, you're not gonna scare people away immediately. You're gonna hook them in with friendship and then go, I love teeth. And if we continue this friendship, I'm gonna ask for one of yours. But how... Oh, no.

You think she's gonna ask for one of theirs? They're human teeth on a necklace. Maybe she collects teeth from friends. Where does she get teeth from? How do you get human teeth? Whose teeth? You can you get human teeth? Whose teeth? You can't buy human teeth? You probably can actually. Who?

On the dark web, I don't know. Mmm. The dark web is what I'm gonna call it? Yeah. That just seems so dumb. Wait, what did you say? She digs up graves? Maybe she digs up graves. Ha ha ha ha! For teeth! Maybe she works at a morgue. Oh, Jordan has something. What's you say? She digs up graves? Maybe she digs up graves. Ha ha ha ha ha!

For teeth! Maybe she works at a morgue. Oh, Jordan has something. What's going on? Jordan's losing her mind. What's going on? Oh, what is this? What the fuck? You can buy teeth? $200 for a set of...

Uh, $400 for 100 human teeth seems expensive. Ha! That seems too expensive. Also, these are like not enough. Also, the website is called B for Bones. Oh, no. Oh, no. This is this is funny.

B for Bones. Wait, we got to hit up that about us over here. B for Bones International. International! Specializes. If you want fucking teeth and you're in Brazil, how you getting them? Bee for Bones. They got to ship all over. They specialize in the sale of natural human teeth, tooth models for dental and medical fraternity.

They've been active for more than 10 years. Yeah, people have been loving teeth for a long time. They've been active for more than 10 years? Yeah, people have been loving teeth for a long time. Wait, all natural teeth specimens are legally and ethically obtained. That is so funny. What do you mean ethically obtained? That last line.

Ever get tired of searching around for human teeth that are almost impossible to find? We're here to help you. We offer everything related to teeth. Once something we don't have, we can get it. How? Ethically. Ethically and legally.

Wait, that's not... Payments, do they got payment plans? Yeah, products, hit up them products. It's teeth. It's... Wow. Wow, but the thing, okay, molars. Those are what look like teeth.

The rest of them don't really look like teeth. Yeah, the... $900 for 200 human molars? How do you get 200 molars? Well, I guess when you get a tooth pulled, and you're an adult, they don't always just give you your tooth back. So maybe it's like at the dentist when it's like, this came out of someone's head, but we don't want it anymore,

it goes somewhere else. But these don't have cavities or anything. How can you tell? Well, my tooth, uh, my... Ah! There's a necklace! Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee- Eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee like this. Wait, close your eyes real quick. I need to know what that teeth, the teeth fingers are. What the fuck? There's like, there's instead of nails, there's like teeth little nubbins.

Okay. This is Sherry. We didn't put it back up so you can look. It's just art. It's there. It's just saying that it's art that can go under. Okay. We have, we've talked about so many things on this podcast, and this is the most insane thing that I've ever brought up to you guys to visually see.

I'm upset. We should link it in the bio, so people want to see what we saw. It is disturbing. I'll say that. It was really upsetting. And I'm not going to share the rest of that website because it just got creepier and I had no more teeth. Yeah. I mean, I think we just you got to get out of there. That person's good. I mean, I don't want to, like, you know, shit on someone's activities, hobbies, but they come in to kill you.

They're murderers. That's murderous behavior to collect teeth. They're common. But it's also. They must really be into death because you can have a hobby and not tell somebody about it, or you can like, hey, I'm into scuba diving. I don't know, it'll come up later. But for them to be like,

just so you know, I'm really into death. And if you're not okay with it. But it's like they weren't that into death that they didn't bring it up at the party. They were partying for three hours and never came up. Maybe they didn't want to invite them over their tooth shaped house where they sleep in a coffin. It's a good point. Yeah, they're like, if invite them over to their tooth shaped house where they sleep in a coffin. It's a good point.

Yeah, if they come over to my house, they're gonna know. They're gonna know. I truly envision this person lives like Richard Scarry. Do you know him? That worm that like drives around in an apple car? I believe this person has a tooth shaped house, sleeps in a coffin and their whole world is Richard Scarry. Ha ha ha. Very Richard Scarry. Why is his name Richard Scarry if he's for the children?

Wasn't that the actual name of the author? Oh, Jordan, can you look that up? I think I thought that little worm was Richard Scarry who drove around in that car, Apple. I don't I don't know. Oh, you're right. He's the author. Of the adventures of the lowly worm. I'm pretty sure it was on Richard Scarry that I learned about sandwiches.

(*GIGGLES*) Like, they learned the history of sandwiches. Oh, I thought you read a children's book and learned about a sandwich, and you were like, mother, I would like to taste the sandwich. That's really funny. It was like about how. Sandwich, so people used to just eat meat with meat gloves. They would just eat, they would palm it

and be like, oh yum, yum, yum. But I want to get my hands all sticky. So they had gloves and they had to wash the gloves. And there was like, is like too much effort. And then eventually someone was like, yeah, this looks familiar. Those pictures look familiar to me. Eventually someone was like,

we should make the outside of the meat edible. So we had to wash all these gloves all the time. And then they put two pieces of bread around the meat. And then you could eat the thing and protect your hands from getting all sticky from the meat juices. I am having wild deja vu. Have we talked about this before on this podcast? I don't know. I definitely.

I that's a fun fact I like to talk about. So I probably have said it before. I don't know if I said it on this podcast. I'm like, it is haunting me because I just have a vision of you gleefully talking about meat juices not getting on your hands because now there's bread. And like you being really proud of knowing that.

I wonder where we were. I don't know. You know what I also discovered? Mm-hmm. My head... is... It's like a little hot dog bun. I have like a...

Whoa, what? I have a divot in the back of my head that I... I knew it was there, but it wasn't until I shaved all my hair off that I was like, oh, yeah, it's like it's quite prominent. And it's like I could like lay a finger in there. And it's like like hot dog bun shaped. Wait, can you turn around? I wonder if I'll be able to see it.

OK, now stick it. But you got to like you got to know this is true. This is really awful for anybody listening. I mean, I think I like you. Yeah, just keep moving your head. Oh, I do. OK, I do see a little divot, but like you're listening, you have no idea. So she has fully turned around as she's sticking her finger just on her head. You are a hot dog bun. I'm a hot dog, but that's why I keep looking for hot dog.

Yes, because you're just looking to fill your bun. Oh, boy. Oh boy. Sounded nasty. Yeah. I think we solved that problem, right? Yeah, I think so too. Let's get another one going. Don't hang out with that death tooth.

That dead tooth. Okay. That's it for us. If you would like to have your queries answered and you would like to leave a voicemail or words in an email form, Nicolein's this year at gmail.com. The number is 424-645-7003. We also have merch at podswag.com slash best friends. Lastly, wow.

Okay. Don't forget to rate, don't forget to review and don't forget to subscribe. That's the easiest way to support this show. Subscribe. It was hard. It didn't seem like it was gonna come out of my mouth, so I was really just pushing it out. Subscribe. Don't make fun of me!

I did say it insanely. Well, to you and yours, everybody in the world, have a good night. Signing off. Good night. Sleep tight. Good night. Don't let everything bite. Don't let someone steal your tooth.

Bye. Bye. Bye.