Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Loves a Dung Beetle

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Hey Friends! Nicole and Sasheer are back from their trip to the motherland, Africa! Unfortunately, they both got covid, but they are on the mend sharing their exciting journey. Sasheer loved the train ride in Zimbabwe. Nicole is convinced that they were best dressed. Sasheer was happy to make international friends. Nicole swam in the Devil’s Pool in Zambia. Sasheer was publicly dubbed the weakest swimmer at the same waterfall.  Nicole dove into some aggressive waves in the Seychelles. On Safari, Sasheer loved seeing the hippos and Nicole really loved the dung beetles. They hated that the trip back was delayed but they have wild stories on how they got back. Plus, they answer a friendship question on how to be a good friend to someone expecting their first child.   This was recorded on Jan. 13th, 2024  No BuzzFeed quiz this week.   Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hello, Sashir. Hello, Nicole. How are you? Yes, you better give me a cough. We have COVID. We have COVID. We have COVID. Coronavirus. What is this, 2020?

I know. A real blast from the past. Truly. Who does that? I don't know. It's so wild. It's very upsetting. I don't like it.

I woke up this morning and my eyeballs hurt that's a new one that is a new one i've not experienced that yeah it like they did not want to open and i was like oh my goodness what's happening and i was like oh um i wanted to put like a little eye mask on like you know those ones that you put in the freezer, but I didn't have one. Can I order one? From the internet. Or from the store. They're probably at CVS or something. Oh, you think?

Or Whole Foods or, yeah. Okay. Also, my eyes were leaking all last night. Like watering or leaking some other kind of fluid? I woke up with crusties around my eyes. So like like white crust so i was like was i crying in my sleep oh no um i don't know if you felt like this but at one point last night so okay we were together for this but at one point last night so okay we were together for 14 days and this like last night at like i don't know midnight i was like huh i wonder what sashir is doing i wonder if she misses me

no i wonder did you yeah i was dead asleep at midnight but oh okay yeah i was i was dreaming real hard about how much i miss well i just like had someone to talk to all the time yeah and then i just have clyde who's great but he doesn't talk back no matter how often or how much I ask him to. I mean, you can still get him those little buttons and he can talk back. Well, our friend Tessa told me that that dog who speaks with buttons now has depression because it knows too much and it figured out what its reflection was in the mirror and now gets sad because he's like, why am I a dog? And I don't want Clyde to know he's a dog. That's a good point. Yeah, I don't want him to be depressed. No way. Yeah. It was a great 14 days. I had a nice time. What was your favorite

part of Africa? Yes, we went to South Africa. And what was my favorite part? Maybe the train. We took the Robos Rail, and it was like a five-day, four-night trip from Zimbabwe. No, from Pretoria to Victoria Falls, going through Zimbabwe. And yeah, it was just like old-timey and cute and quaint and we got dressed up for the dinners and you were encouraged to like make friends and we actually made friends with people we did i like before we left i was like so sure i want to make international

friends like mateo has friends in Rome and we have other friends who have friends in different places and I was like let's make international friends and we made friends and they live in Connecticut and I was like I cannot believe we traveled 20 hours to Africa to meet people from Connecticut but they're really wonderful and I really like them and they instantly started roasting me yeah and I i love and i liked that i was like oh okay these people are fun yeah um yeah the train was probably like yeah i i in my older age i'm liking trains more and more yeah to the point where you're like when i have my own train company but i do my own train company i'm gonna do it differently um i my i really like the train i really loved sleeping on

the train because i never went to sleepaway camp and it felt like sleepaway camp yeah yeah it is like everyone get to your bunks yeah and I really enjoyed dressing up every night for dinner because I felt like, what is everyone wearing? Who's wearing what? And we were the best dressed of the whole train. I think we won the award of best dressed passengers. That's what I think we won. Yeah, I agree.

We kept trying to get awards for our travel. Best listener on the bus best best passenger on the plane and i think we won all of them i consistently won best listener on the bus you did because people don't listen to the bus driver and i felt i was like well well, I'll respond. I'll get. It would be funny because we'd be like in a passenger van going from like point A to point B. And then the driver would just be like either giving a tour or like asking questions. And then you'd be the only one just like, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, no, it is hot.

I just didn't want them talking to nobody like it just it was making me sad. So I was like, OK, I'll respond. And then sometimes I got too sassy. Like one of the bus drivers was like, how did you how do you find Africa? And I heard, how did you find Africa? And I was like, well, I sit at home and look at my globe. And you were like, no, how do you like Africa? And I was like, oh, no. And I was humiliated. It was very funny. Oh, it was so embarrassing. My favorite part, I have told you several times. OK, so we did this thing in Victoria Falls called called the devil's pool now all they tell you about the devil's pool is you get to sit in a waterfall that's so exciting and we've been sitting for five days on a train and nobody told us that we needed to become michael phelps and fucking uh uh parkour

people because you have to walk sideways on the slipperiest, most jagged rocks. Also, they were like, you guys could get water shoes if you want. And I was like, I don't know. And then I was like, well, I'm wearing sneakers and apparently we're going in water. I'll get water shoes. So all the black water shoes didn't fit me. So this lady handed me a red pair of Crocs and I was like, oh yeah, these fit. I'll put them in sport mode. And they me a red pair of uh crocs and i was like oh yeah these fit i'll put them in sport mode and they were the only pair of red crocs so i was like i've been anointed and then we trapeze over these rocks with like a nice white family and we you go over so many rocks and then you swim against a current,

the strongest current I've ever been in. And I was winded. And then Sashira emerged a different human. Her eyes were big, her teeth were bared, and she was like... Well, at the beginning, they were like... First of all, they never said you had to swim at all. I don't think it was on the brochure.

I don't think they didn't listen in the orientation. They're like, when you get to the falls, they're like, you guys can swim, right? And everyone's like, yeah. And I was like, yeah. Like, I was like, I'm assuming they mean comfortable in the water. Like, you can, like, handle yourself in the water. I didn't know i was like freestyle swimming against a current against the current in the one of the largest waterfalls in

the world yes and then you have to swim against two different currents and then climb up more rocks and then like boot scoot down into the fall and we were with this nice lady from africa i think she was from zimbabwe and she had heard about it and she had never done it so she came alone because she's brave she told them i absolutely cannot swim so she held on to a man's back and he swam her out there and then you take pictures at the edge of the waterfall and the way they hold you from not going over is they literally hold your legs that's it you just trust two men to hold your legs over the biggest waterfall one of the biggest waterfalls in the world and this woman was so brave and brazen and was taking pictures she was out there i was like

if she moves the wrong way this lady's done for yeah she was twisting and turning and posing all over the place and i was like i cannot believe she's doing that also fish bite your legs and then they tell you to keep your legs down but then you want to raise them because there's fish biting them they're like ignore it ignore it i'm like i'm consistently getting bit right now um but that was my absolute favorite watching sashir slowly descend into madness was really incredible but i kept telling you you were doing a good job because you were doing a really really really great job um and then we took our pictures and then at at one point, she was like, I've had enough. All of her teeth were out. Well, they were also like, they kept telling me when I was doing my individual picture, they're like, get closer to the edge.

And I was like, are you crazy? No. And they're like, no, get closer to the edge. It's fine. I was like, it's not. And I was like, there's pictures of me screaming in peril. And then they're like, OK, go on your back and i'm like okay and i look so uncomfortable all of the pictures are my absolute favorite it was very much a nicole

activity and everyone everyone was like we should all we should leave we gotta get out of here but i was like we can't just sit here for a while and just like there was two rainbows there was so much water it was one of the most i know this is gonna sound insane it was one of the most serene i felt in a very long time um i think water just really makes me feel good um and i didn't feel like i was like i'm not in danger these people aren't gonna let us die that would be bad for business um you know they put a stain on their track record it really would because they said nobody's died even though you sign a thing before you go that if you die you can't sue them or nothing like that

and you have to give them their email and i was like what are you gonna email me that I'm dead? Like what? Whoops, you didn't make it back. And then when we had to swim back, again, it's against the current, this man pointed at Sashir and went, you, you come forward. She is the weakest swimmer. In front of everyone. In front of everyone. In front of everybody.

And I just went, Sashir, you won something. I was like, you don't have to say it in front of everybody. And what did that man say to you when we were walking back? Oh my God. He like looked at me and he was like,

don't you do sports? This is one of the guides who worked there. I guess implying like, I look like I should be more fit than I am. And I was like, don't you do sports? This is one of the guides who worked there. I guess implying like I look like I should be more fit than I am. And I was like, wow. Well, I'm not. I do Pilates. That doesn't require a lot of cardio. And then at one point, before we swam against the last current,

Sashir said, I'm done. I don't want to do this. We're in the middle of a waterfall. We're in the middle. I was not close to being done. I swam halfway and I was like, you guys have to figure out how to get me out of here. I don't want to do this anymore.

It was so funny. And also I was like, why can't I get the treatment like the other lady? I want to ride somebody's back. I give up. And I think they were like well we have seen that you can swim so you have to finish and i'm like i don't want to anymore i don't have and i was saying this out loud like i don't have confidence in my swimming anymore i don't want to do this anymore and then there was also a rope that i saw at the end that went from like one

point a to point b and a whole group of people were using the rope before we got in to exit. So I was like, oh, that's how we'll exit. And they were like, no, you got to swim again. And I was like, but why can't I use the rope? And the guy just laughed at me. Also, I was like, bring back profiling. Somebody should have pointed at me and been like, you are fat. Can you do you think you can accomplish this?

And then I would have thought twice about doing it. But they looked at this big fat body and said, she'll do it. I couldn't believe it. I was like, point out the fatties and ask them how active they are. Bring back profile. I couldn't believe it because I was winded by the end i was like this was a lot

and then it was like what if i was too fat and couldn't do it those i don't think any of those members strong enough to swim with me on their back yeah against a current that's that's a lot of weight i don't know i don't know what they do in those circumstances maybe they would have let us use the rope if i was like i'm too fat uh let me get on your back and they'd be like no ma'am you certainly will not yeah well you should have done that for all of us well i really i was having fun yeah um and then we get back and i gave the shoes i rented back to the woman and she was like these aren't your shoes. And I was like, no, I rented them.

She was like, these are someone's shoes. And I was like, what? She's like, you took someone's shoes. They rented me someone's shoes that they left to go. It's really funny you paid to wear someone else's shoes. I paid to stick my naked foot in somebody else's croc ew that i stretched out a little because i had to put them in sport mode so they wouldn't fall off my feet and i was wondering why they had a singular pair of red crocs for the anointed

and turns out it was just a mistake and i'm gonna move to zimbabwe during the low season get a job as a tour guide and like go stay at victoria falls all day every day um and i told this to my friend evan and he was like when you don't have COVID and you're home for a little bit and your life picks up again, sleep on it. And I was like, oh. But in my heart of hearts, I really want to. I really want to. Be a Victoria Falls tour guide. I really do.

I do. On the Zambia side. So I guess I'd have to move to Zambia, not Zimbabwe. Yes. Or I could do crossing the border every day which is the most hectic thing in the world there was two people working all they do is stamp your passport but it takes so long and there's so many people and there's no there's no definitive lines nowhere in Africa is there one line there's hundreds of different lines and you can cut the lines if you

want and nobody will say anything Yeah, I did feel like the whole trip. It was like no rules. There's really never any rules anywhere No, and then I used this at the airport when we were leaving Kenya I was like we're not diplomats, but this line shorter and sure enough United Nations diplomats line and they didn't care they didn't give two shits and I was like you know I kind of like this

but yeah that was my if I could go back there if I could snap my fingers and be sitting in that waterfall I would I loved it so much yeah well I'm glad oh thank you. She is the weakest swimmer.

And the mom of that nice white family that was with us was like um we don't hold it against you like we've all been swimming our whole lives and like i guess assuming that i have not and i wanted to be like i'm glad you understand that not all black people swim she gets it she gets it she understands the racial connotations of putting a black person in water. Not all of us swim. Not all of us swim. But I do. I swim.

I told you about my earliest memory of a pool. Yeah. I was little. I think I was like four, maybe five. My mom put me and my sister in swimming pretty early. I don't remember my sister being there. But anyway, we were wearing little floaties. And I remember being like, oh, I can't wait to get in this big pool. And then the nice lady

teaching us was saying something. I don't know. I don't listen because I didn't come here to learn. I came here to do my own thing. And I remember her saying, don't lean over. And I said, lean over. And I leaned over and I was playing in the water. And I was like, ooh, this is fun. I can't wait to get in. And then I fell in. And then I like looked up and I could see the outside. And I was like, huh, this isn't good. I don't know.

This is good. This might be bad. And then she like scooped me out. And I was like, hmm, I think I almost died. But I like the water. And that was my first experience almost dying in water. And I was like, i'm a water baby i gotta get in this all the time oh do you think there's because of that experience you also like

the element of almost dying in water me no because when we went to the beach and i dove into the wave wrong and i and i got all sandy and twisted and turned around i didn't like that very much yeah we went to the um what which island was that that was the seychelles um an island i've wanted to go to for years oh they went to ledeek oh yes ledeek then we went to the beach and uh walked into the first we walked into the water in our matching swimsuits and just like pranced in there and then we were like oh these waves are kind of rough we should take our sunglasses off so that we pranced out of the water put our sunglasses away prance back in the water and then a wave was coming towards us and then i turned around because i didn't want the wave to fully knock me over we're gone and then i turned around and you had to stand all on your face all in your hair and

you're like how come how come you're still standing and i was like i turned around i planted my feet i was like oh you you didn't lean into the wave and just let it take you and then i was like put your face first into the wave i was like everyone on this beach probably laughed so hard. Two women in matching bathing suits. First, prance in, prance out, go back in, and one gets taken. Just immediately taken by a wave. It was very funny. And then, yeah.

So wait. Okay. oh it was very funny and then yeah so wait okay so on the way to ladiq we took a a yacht because we're opulent and that's what you do um it was like pretty choppy on the way in which was fine but on the way back it was less choppy but stillpy. And then everyone started doing things and rushing and disappearing below deck. And we were like, huh, what's going on? And then one of the guys was like, hey, we have a little problem, but don't worry. And there was no land anywhere in sight. And this boat, the motor turned off and we were just bopping around in the Indian Ocean. And for like 10 whole minutes, I was like, are we? Is this it?

Yeah, because it was like storming and dark. And we slowed to a stop. And I was like, that can't be good. And then the captain goes under the boat. And they're shouting things at each other. I was like, well, you know, we ourselves our cell phone works yeah and somehow our phones did not work in zimbabwe but they worked in the middle of the indian ocean i said you make that math make sense but okay we have them yeah and like i guess you know

if the ship goes down maybe another one will come. You were getting a little like, but I was like, we're going to be fine. And we were. The water took care of us. The water always takes care of us. Yeah, they fixed it in like 10 minutes and we did make it back to shore. And we zoom zoomed.

And then we went to, before that, we went to a safari. I've never been on safari. They're called game drives. And I looked up why they're called game drives. It's because they used to shoot animal, call it game, and they'd go on drives to go shoot them. But they kept the spirit of that, but now we don't shoot them. What do you mean by spirit? Oh, that we're gonna go, look, we're hunting for animals.

But hey, hey, hey, we're not shooting. We're not shooting, we're just here in the background. We're here looking. And then shooting we're just we're just here in the background we're here looking um and then before we went on safari we did see a giraffe and i almost fell out of a van because i was so excited to see the giraffe but on safari we saw so many giraffes they're cool they're very cool um yeah i guess we were driving into a hotel and that was the first giraffe we had seen and it was just like in the street like it was like on the edge of the street it was really funny because you asked the driver you're like do you think i'll see a giraffe

and he's like there's one right there and you're like what and he stopped the car opened the door you fell out of the car like slid off your foot. But like didn't take a moment to be like, whoopsie. You just like, and then like hustled over to take a picture. I was so excited. I just love a giraffe. Yeah. And then the driver was like, uh, you got to get back in.

They sometimes charge at you. And I was like, oh, good to know. Yeah, because it did like take a step towards us. But I didn't know that they charge. Yeah. At all. Apparently, the wildlife is OK with humans in cars. But once they're on foot, they're like, oh, food.

This is now food. They don't have their fast. Their fast animal they ride around in. So I can eat them. That's now food. They don't have their fast animal they ride around in. So I can eat them. That's a snack. Yeah. And then on safari, we saw zebras. Yeah.

Lots of impala. Impala. Hyenas. We watched a bunch of lions eat a zebra. Oh, boy. Yeah. That was wild. Yeah.

We didn't see the kill, but we saw the aftermath and it was really wild. Yeah. And I don't know if you clocked it, but the zebra was smiling because all of its teeth were showing. I was like, was this zebra having a nice moment and then was like eaten and like rigor mortis already set in as it was like having good thoughts it was it was so nuts i mean it's like this tickles guys stop stop no

oh no ah my leg ouchies oh um it was very cool to see zebra i didn't know that zebra their stripes are like that because when they're all together in a herd, it's like it makes people dizzy. Not people. It makes the other animals dizzy. And I was like, this is so wild, but like nature takes care of itself.

Nature does take care of itself. They know what they're doing. What was your favorite animal that we saw? I did the hippos. How they would pop in and out of the water and blow their nostrils, blow the water out of their nostrils. We stopped by a pond, river, lake,

I don't know, by a body of water. The hippos were so far away, but then they went underwater and then they got so close yes i was like oh hi hi guys and the driver's like these are the most deadliest animals out here uh yeah wait what was the name of the game reserve we went to? I call it Campari, but that's liquor. Kapama. Kapama. If you go to Kapama, say hello to Toomey. Toomey was our tracker and we loved him so much. Yeah.

My favorite animal other than the giraffe. And I did like some of the monkeys although there was monkeys by our room and they were trying to get my peanuts and i knew what their plan was and i was like you're not getting my nuts okay but my favorite animal was the dung beetle i fucking love a dung beetle dung beetles make these giant like circles of shit and then they push them around and it's so funny there was one that was like I don't know he fucked up he didn't get his shit right he was moving so fast trying to get his shit somewhere and then we learned that they roll their shit up to a lady dung beetle. And then if she likes that shit, mates with him. But if she doesn't like that shit, he got to go find somebody else who appreciates this shit.

Who's like, you know, settling or whatever. And then they have a dung beetle baby. They put it in the shit. And then when it hatches, eats the shit and then go finds a whoever. A whoever? Yeah, I don't know if it's a girl dung. I guess she like chills. And if it's a boy, he gets to work hustling.

Gotta start rolling that dung. Find a mate. Oh, and I like the lions. Dung beetles and lions. There was a day where you became a tracker too. Yes. You were like, ooh, look over there. Ooh, we've been here before. I can tell by the trees. And you spotted a tracker too and you were like oh look over there oh we've been here before i can tell by the trees and you spotted a lion like out of nowhere you're like what is that seems like

something and they're like that's a lion that's really good oh my god but right before that i was like look over there so she heard you're like what is it and i was like a rock and I thought it was something and it was just a rock. And then after the lion, you were like, a dung beetle. And I was like, wow, equally as cool. Yes. She tracks. I'm a tracker. But I got to say, animals, chill the fuck out.

We had to be up at 6 a.m. to go see them. Y'all can't sleep in just a little? That was nuts yeah i think we did four days i can't remember but yeah so my last one i was like i do not want to get up at 5 a.m anymore me either that was tough i think we did the right amount because we're not morning people, you better give me some midday. Are there any animals out here midday? Yeah, I had a really nice time. Yeah, me too. It was really fun until we tried to come home.

We were in the Seychelles, which is, you know, small, small island. And the beach was really pretty. and the hotel was really nice um but the airport was interesting because nobody seemed to work there that knew anything and they just put right up on that little monitor that we were no longer leaving at six but we were leaving at nine and i was like oh is there like any reason what do we do about our connecting flights and they're like here's a meal voucher and i was like oh that's not what i asked or anything i wanted and then we did leave rather quickly but then we landed and missed our connecting flight by like i don't know 20 minutes or maybe an hour i don't know something like that it's hard to say because they do military time and we don't so it was tough um and then kenya airways not to shit on them but they don't care

about your happiness kenya airways um doesn't love you kenya airways uh you know if they saw you sick in a gutter would probably push you down further into the gutter um kenya airways would serve you raw chicken and tell you it's cooked can you nobody was helpful yeah it was it was disappointing because we would like we went to the help desk got no help and we were like can you like put us on an earlier flight so we don't have to leave? Because the next flight was like 11 p.m. the next day. And we were like, is there anything earlier? And they're like, we'll send an email.

And we were like, well, why can't you call someone? And they're like, that's how we communicate. Send an email. And then they were like, come check in an hour. And I checked in an hour and then they were like come check in an hour and i checked in an hour and she was like come back in another hour so i on on the dot came back and she was like she actually stepped away from the desk and i was like what and then she was like come back at 5 a.m and i was like what the help desk is just closed for the night. And y'all sent an email. And how do you know they're refreshing at the rebooking center? Also, I had called customer service and they put me on hold for a solid 10 minutes.

And we played a game that was like, is she going to come back or am I going to hang up? And I hung up. She won. And that's fine. Sometimes we all need to be winners. She won this one. Sometimes we got to be losers winners. She won this one. Sometimes we gotta be losers. And I took the L.

But I went down to the help desk to see if there was anybody there. And somebody had draped pants and a red blazer over the chair like somebody was there. And I was like, wait, is that? No. Why would they do that? That was it was the meanest trick i'd ever did see it was as if they were like ha ha ha you were hopeful that someone was here and there's nobody here because we hate you we're canyon airways so at 5 a.m they were like okay

so you are on that 11 p.m flight and i was like but in those hours we could have gone on a different one and they said ha ha ha that's what you think and then then i was like but in those hours we could have gotten on a different one and they said ha ha ha that's what you think and then then i was like well can we at least have a hotel and she was like yeah i was like you weren't gonna give it to me unless i asked for it which again rude so then we went to another desk or back to that desk that sent us to another desk that sent us to another desk where we saw a cartoon character of a man with a stethoscope and a T-shirt that said fire department. You look you were like he looks like an extra that got too many costume items. Yeah. And he kept me like talking to the person behind the desk being like, I need to find my logic luggage.

It has all my medical supplies in there. And I was like, what? Sally's cancer treatment is in your checked baggage? All my medical supplies are in there. I need it because I'm a doctor. See? See? I have a stethoscope.

That made me laugh. And then they were like, all right, you can go get in the van to go to the hotel it's a white van and you looked outside and you were like there's a hundred white vans out there and it was tempered glass so i had a hard time looking i was like is there and you were like yes and then the man was like the first white van like we were dumb and then we went outside and to your credits this year there was 10 million white vans yeah there was 10 million white vans and none of them said canyon airways the one that we had to get in said holiday car that has nothing to do with canyon airways and then a man from the

airport who had helped us earlier like find the hotel desk uh was like walking with us and he was like oh well i'll help you find your car and we were like okay and then he like walked us away from the cars and started like lowering his voice yeah it was like you look so i helped you guys like i'm gonna help you find the car but like could you give me a little so we understand now understand after the fact that he was asking for rand but which is a currency and i yeah i heard ranch and i was like you want ranch also he was a cop and we didn't realize he was a cop because they dress differently over there and i i just i was so bleary-eyed and couldn't put things together and i was like like, I don't have any ranch. And he was like little ranch.

And I was like, no, I don't have a little ranch. And if I was bringing ranch, it would be more than just a little ranch. And I'm not going to go get ranch because I don't want, I need to go to the hotel. And he seemed confused by my indignation,

my indignation about not getting him ranch. And then he was like, okay, all right. All right. I was like, yeah. And so she was like,

I'm going to go find the car. And I was like, and I'm not giving you ranch. And then he was like, okay, all right, all right. I was like, yeah. And so she was like, I'm gonna go find the car. And I was like, and I'm not giving you ranch. And then we got in the car and the driver was like, Kenyan police are the most corrupt in the world. And I was like, huh, interesting. And as we sat there waiting, I was like, oh, do you think he was asking for rand?

And not ranch dressing. Which is also funny because I also didn't question it. I was just like, this is a ridiculous conversation. I'm walking away. I need to find the driver. I don't know why his name

is asking for ranch right now. And then he must have been so confused. He was like, why are they talking about what? Maybe he didn't even know what ranch dressing was. He was like, what? Yeah, or he was just like, why are they talking about what? Maybe he didn't even know what ranch dressing was. He was like, what? Yeah, or he was just like, they must be mispronouncing it.

Or like, they can't be talking about ranch. Maybe he just was like, they know I'm talking about money, but don't want to give it to me. Which is also true. But I'm glad we what we thought was and then when we got in the car i was like that's so weird that he wanted ranch if i was bringing ranch overseas i'm giving it to my family not a random man before we figured out it was rant like i was like having a serious conversation but i would not give up my ranch because that's for my family and then i was like also it would be in my checked bags it's over 3.4 ounces

he thinks i just have ranch on me it's like maybe i could have packets but those explode like i'm not packing packets of ranch. What's wrong with you? And then I was like, maybe we're getting taken. But then I was like, wait, Sashir, there's a Canyon Airways sticker. I think this is legit. And you were like, you think this is legit because of a sticker? I was like, uh-huh. Anyone can just get a sticker and put it in their car.

You're right. But it ended up being okay because he took a flight attendant somewhere and we're like all right this feels a little bit more legit yeah that was wild and then we got to the hotel and i think i feel like i don't know when we got covid but i feel like the symptoms started the minute we laid down in bed because we were both coughing yes and i was like is it the air ducts is Is it like the AC or something? And then, you know, we were just getting sicker by the hour on our way back home, on the plane, on the next plane, in the lounge. It was getting sicker and sicker. And then we both got home, took a test.

Yeah. And I thought it was just a cold. I really, I thought it, because the air was gross in the hotel and it felt very dusty and i was like oh and i have very sensitive sinuses oh she's so sensitive they're so sensitive and really cute um and i was feeling the way i feel in a dusty house so i was like oh it's dust and then i got home and i was like well i do have to go pick up my dog and stuff so let me just take a test to be to be sure and then that test was negative and then my eyes started hurting and then i was coughing even more and then i was like i didn't

enjoy my burger king as much as i thought i would so i took something's off i didn't enjoy my burger kings which is i thought i would my whopper wasn't whopping so i took another test it was positive and i was like oh no yeah but i will say i'm glad we got african covid and not like dumb american covid yeah ours is international and exotic. Yes, we imported it. Oh, no. Oh, boy. But I had such a lovely time. It was really nice to spend uninterrupted hours and hours and hours with you, which sounds sarcastic. But you're one of the few people i can just spend hours with

this is true i agree yeah i feel like two weeks is a long time to spend with one other person but you are the only person i think i can do that with i can't it's it's hard to think of other people i can do that with and it was really nice in the Seychelles I was like I will wake up and go to breakfast with you tomorrow because I didn't go to breakfast with you the day before and you very gently opened a curtain and went Nicole you have to go to breakfast and I was like but I really liked how gentle you were with it. Also, I'm like a ridiculous person sometimes.

I couldn't figure out the light situation in one of our rooms. And I sat at the edge of the bed, covered my face and went, Oh, I need help. And I feel like anybody else would be so annoyed with me but you turn on the light and you helped me it was funny because it's already dark and i just saw your silhouette and i just saw you like put your face to the heavens and cover your face and you go oh i need help i was like did you want the light on you're like yeah and then i just pushed the switch that was next to my bed

i don't know why i couldn't figure out those lamps it was kind of the whole trip i was having trouble yeah any corded light situation you had a real problem with i'm not used to it i have light switches they're in the wall yeah well sometimes the light you know the switch is on the cord yeah and that's tough for me. Yeah, I understand. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. I decided that I needed to get hiking boots just in case another thing arises where I have to be in dirt

because for some of the game drives, we got out of the van or the little, I don't know, what's it called a truck the topless truck yeah sometimes we get out of that slutty truck and be like in the mud and i was like i need boots for this and i found the most incredible boots but they're sold out and i sent them an email asking for when they'd be restocked and they said that they're not getting restocked like ever again that's what they said and i said this is one of the saddest things that I've ever experienced. And they haven't responded to that. But maybe they'll respond to this podcast.

Okay, so it's a company called Gaitline. G-A-I-T-L-I-N-E, spelled the way it's said. And it's a K-I-K-U-t-t-r-x leopard champagne boot they're on sale the reviews are in there's 24 of them people love them it is 4.8 stars these are the boots i need and they're fully fucking leopard print and they seem to have good traction and i think they would be sustained with the elements and they're waterproof and i want them they're on sale they're 143 dollars and 40 cents odd the 40 cents i feel but that's okay well that's fine i'll pay you 40 cents and they said that they're not coming back and I love them yeah so Gateline if you want to make an orphan happy

bring back those shoes please help the orphans bring back the shoes and I can't find them on eBay I can't find them anywhere I'm sorry it's okay thank you for being sorry I can't find them on eBay. I can't find them anywhere. I'm sorry. It's okay.

Thank you for being sorry. That makes me feel good that you're sorry. That sounds weird. That makes me feel good that you're sorry. That makes me feel so good that you're sorry. I mean, I didn't do it. You didn't. It's not your fault. Although you blame me for a lot of stuff on the trip.

Well, you kept doing stuff. I was not doing stuff. When we were staying at the safari camp, there was an automatic light outside the door. And it would ideally go off when you walked away from the building so that it didn't attract bugs. And then we approached the building. It would turn on so you can open the door. And ours stayed on and i was like oh no what happened and you were

like i don't know you did something i was like i didn't do anything yeah you you must have you must have did something well you were in charge of the keys so you must have did something i don't know what but you were the last one to touch it i didn't do nothing and then we get to the door and it's covered in bugs every kind of bug in the world was on the door and they were big and ugly and i kept trying to kick the door to like shake the door to get the bugs to like fly away and get away from it so they wouldn't go in with us it's imprinted in my memory forever. You were banging on the door and hitting the door with your fist

and literally kicking the door and you're wearing this like striped outfit this like striped two-piece ensemble and you look like a nice normal woman and you're kicking a door and you're like get out of here! Get out of here!

And I couldn't stop laughing and then at one point you started squatting as you're like, get out of here, get out of here. And I couldn't stop laughing. And then at one point you started squatting as you were like hitting the door. And I was like, she's going somewhere. And then you turn around and you take one arm and you like wave at me and you go, you gotta get close to me. And I was like, wait.

I understood what you meant. I was like, get close so the bugs wouldn get close. So the bugs wouldn't fall. Like the door wouldn't be open for very long. But it was like we were fucking Tomb Raider or like Raiders of the Lost Ark going on like an adventure. And you were screaming. And I was like, what did people think? You're screaming. You got to get close to me.

I'm double over laughing. I couldn't stop laughing. And the light is on. There's a spotlight on you. And then once we get inside, there was a spider in the bed with us. And thank God, again, I was having issues with the light.

So you had to turn on the light and then it was like, oh no, there's a spider. And then we knocked it on the floor and then I was spraying him with bug spray and we were both screaming and then you lifted a magazine over your head and you were again in your half squat going and you slowly lowered the magazine on this spider in a way that was so primal. But also slow.

It was slow and primal. And again, could not stop laughing. It was very funny. I just wanted to use all my power. Use all the strength that I had. And so I guess going slow was summoning every piece of energy I had in my body to smash it because I didn't want to hit it. And then it's still alive. But you killed it good.

I killed it good. We were safe and no more bugs got in the bed with us. It was very scary. And then you were like, got to close my suitcase at all times. And I was like, I can't. I packed like I was going to close my suitcase at all times. And I was like, I can't, I have to, I packed like I was going to shit my pants every single day. I had so much underwear. I had every sock I've ever owned.

I packed like 20 outfits. I did not wear all of them. And then I wore clothes the way I normally do on a trip. Cause I usually only have a carry on and I'll wear things over and over until they're like slightly stinky and then put them in a bag um and that's what i kept doing and then i was like but i have so much yeah it was tough it was very hard because we needed fancy outfits for the train you're we needed hot outfits part of it was rainy so we needed like like things that were like a little bit warmer it was hard to know how to pack. But everywhere we went, people were like, are you guys going to be here for a month?

Because we had five bags between the both of us. Uh-huh. And they were heavy. And everyone made sure to tell me how heavy they were. Yes, everyone. I was like, OK, you don't have to comment on it. And then on the flight back this man on air france i was like is g over here and he was like and he looked at my ticket and looked at me and went

you have a long journey home and i said sure do is g over here and he was like two long flights and i was like what's happening i did he think i was like an hour an hour and I'm home it was so strange yeah people kept telling me long flights and then I packed too much and I was like leave me alone or when we were like in the airport for hours waiting to get a response from Kenya Airways people would be like you were here for a long time and we were like yes we know would like to leave. We don't want to be anywhere. We would like to go home. It's like we've been here longer than you. And then, okay, I have a bone to pick with the Kenyan airport and the France airport, the Paris airport.

How come I have to go through security again after I get off a fucking plane? I have all plane stuff because they let me on the plane. So how do you think in the sky I accumulated more liquids or more electronics or things you're not going to let me on this plane with? Maybe you encountered a bird that brought you something a little birdie a little birdie done brought me a bomb but sashir was caught with water and then and then chugged it and i was like you don't have to and i was like i'm chugging the whole thing you don't have to and i was like i'm checking the whole thing you don't have to um but i will say i think this trip was a success yes it was um a lot of logistical logistical issues yes but very fun it was fun

and we went to five countries yeah we did so or four Or four, four countries. South Africa, no, five, because we spent the night in Kenya. I'm counting it, claiming that. Claiming that hotel as an experience in a country. It was quite an experience. I mean, I feel like I don't like having COVID, but I do like having a reason to sit the hell down. Because we've been moving for the last two weeks. We really have.

I feel like my butt has gotten a little firmer because I've been carrying my heavy backpack. Oh. Which is like kind of cool. Oh, we did make international friends, but they're moving to Cincinnati. Oh, yeah. They're moving from Brussels to Cincinnati. This is really funny. Yeah.

I had a nice time. Yeah, me too. Should we answer a question? Just one? Do we have time? Yeah, let's do one question. Well, we haven't answered a question in a while. And I'm full of answers.

Hello. Hi, Nicole. This year, Kimmy, Jordan, Julie, everyone on team best friends. Yeah, my name is Brady. I actually called a little bit ago asking about getting straight guy friends to open up more emotionally. That was appreciated that you answered it. I've actually gotten better with them about that. Now I have a question about a straight lady friend. I contain multitudes. Anyways, so I have a super close friend from college who currently lives in Amsterdam with her husband. So clearly we don't get to see each other in person all that much.

But last month, she was in Mexico for a wedding, and I was able to take a few days to visit her in Mexico City, which was super fun. I was there with her and her husband, great time. And she announced that she was pregnant. Now, she's actually the first of my, like, real friends that I hang out with to be pregnant, have a child. And, you know, that's for a myriad of reasons. A lot of my friends are, like, working in nerdier professions and are also just, like, very career-focused people. But, yeah, first friend having a child, and it's not on accident. As I start to transition into that phase, especially as someone who does not have any plans to have kids myself,

what's your advice on dealing with that first friend who has children, especially if it's someone who doesn't live right near you, but it's someone who may be moving back towards where you are, slash is someone you have that's special in your life anyways love the podcast uh yeah take care y'all what you got this year um well i feel like we've had many questions like this of like the transition of now one of my close friends is a parent and i think what what we've heard from other parents is like don't forget that they do want to still hang out so um i think just like keep treating them like your friend like if you want like keep inviting them to things

keep trying to hang. And they hopefully will be honest about what they can and can't do. And, you know, there'll be a time where it's like, oh, actually, I can't go out because I have to be home with my child. Or, like, you know, the hangs might be different because I don't know what your hangs used to be. But if it was, like, bar bar hopping probably can't do that anymore but maybe you can switch to a different type of like maybe movie nights or making dinner together or something like that but um you can just like ask questions too and be like hey I want to keep hanging out with you but i understand like your body's going to be going through changes and your time is going to be going through a lot of changes so

like what feels good to you because i want to maintain this connection that we have yeah i think that's nice and then the friend also lives in amsterdam so i think right that's what our caller said that their friend lives in Amsterdam but didn't they say they're moving back to oh I see I see okay um so scratch that doesn't matter about Amsterdam uh the only thing about Amsterdam that matters is KLM is a wonderful airline that I believe is based in Amsterdam it It's the Dutch Airways. And they give you little houses full of booze. And they're great.

Anyway, I think Satya is right. I think keep the lines of communication open and ask what they're willing to do. But don't turn your back on your friend. Don't let the sun go down on your friend. Don't close the door on your friend. Don't put the book away on go down on your friend don't close the door on your friend don't put the book away on a shelf on your friend because there's still a person who wants to hang out with you you just have to adjust a little bit and now you have like a little person to give cool stuff to yeah whenever you're out and about and you're like oh my god this is a cute toy you like there's like

now a person to give that to. Clothes too. Now you have an excuse to go in the children's place. In the children's place? I think that's a store that still exists. Oh yeah, I think I have. I never need to go to the children's place. Me either. But now they have a reason to go right up into the children's place.

Isn't it called the children's place is it called the children's place it that sounds absurd i'm a hundred percent i do think you're right but now i've never heard anyone say it out loud and i'm like why is it called the children's place because that's where they can go for their clothes there's no big clothes there this is your place for little things this is your children's place the children's place i don't know why it bothers me so much the children's place yes so sheer what are you mad there's no adult place wait my favorite thing about africa is instead of old navy they had old khaki oh yes that was very funny old khaki old khaki but yeah the children's place maybe because it sounds like the upside down to me oh the children's play and then also like it's

like like hell for kids or like the bad place for kids but it's just what it's a good place because there's other children there so sheer it's, I just don't understand why it's called a children's place. It's like, you don't want to go to the children's place. You better be a good little boy or else you're going to get sent to the children's place. Or you were such a good little boy. Do you want to go to the children's place? Yeah. I think it just really depends on your tone because it could be the children's place.

I'm like, that's scary. That's how it's coming could be the children's place I'm like that's scary that's how it's coming out for me oh I'm really sorry were you taken to the children's place one time um well what did they do to you at the children's place one time I went to the mall oh no

and then some little troll came out of nowhere oh no and he's like do you want to go to the children's place and I thought it was a fun place. Well, Sashir, that's on you. That's your fault. You never follow a troll to a second location. You're victim blaming.

I'm a victim blame you again. I told you we were landing at 1 p.m. And you said out loud with your full fucking chest, I wish we were landing later. And you know what happened we landed a whole day later you did that you're powerful in a way that you don't understand i didn't i didn't i didn't know that that was gonna happen i didn't want to be like that you did that you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you

you bah humbugged our ride home no i won't put that on you that's not nice but it was your fault well now we're home now we're home and you know what else is home? This podcast. And if you have a question that you would like answered, Nicole and Sashira at gmail.com. There's also a number, 424-645-7003. We also have merch at podswag.com slash best friends. To put in your home. We also have transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page.

Lastly, while you're in your home, don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. That is the easiest way to support this show from your home. We're home. Ding dong. We're home. Ding dong. Open the door. We're home.

Bye, Sasheer. Bye, Nicole.