Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Says 2024 is Her Year

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Hello Friends! It’s close to the holidays so Nicole and Sasheer share what they want for Christmas. Sasheer knows the 12 days of Christmas song. Nicole feels like 2024 will be a great year. Sasheer thinks they should find gifts in an airport. Nicole thinks they should sing O Holy Night on the plane. Sometimes Nicole gets grumpy when people have fun without her. Sasheer admits, they can be those people ruining people's time when they have fun. Nicole wants to get back into roller-skating. Sasheer tried skateboarding this weekend. Sasheer simply doesn’t want to wear jeans while Nicole gives herself JUST enough time to catch her flights. They answer your friendship questions about working with ex-friends at work and the best ways to keep friends who live abroad.  This was recorded on November 16th, 2023.  Sources: The Twelve Days of Christmas was written by Frederic Austin. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twelve_Days_of_Christmas_(song) No BuzzFeed quiz this week. Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi, Sashir, you're here. Hi, Nicole. Well, we're on a roll. Okay, that was good. No, boy. okay that was good how are you listen i'm good i'm thriving i'm on the east coast it's a little chilly gotta say is this technically winter time yeah it's winter time yeah it is winter tis the season it i think honestly living in la i get confused about the seasons because i'm like is it has the has have the seasons actually changed did we reach fall did we reach winter yes so in some places it's actually winter it is and i remember my first my first year in LA I went to the bank for something and there was a child in a costume and I was like

what? why? it's so hot and then I looked at my phone it was Halloween so Shier Christmas is around the corner oh this is true what do you want for Christmas? what are five things you want for Christmas?

actually three, what are three things you want for Christmas? Whoa. Actually, three. What are three things? Five is a lot. Five is a little overwhelming. I don't know if I even have five wants like that. Even though there's a whole song about things that people are getting for Christmas, and there's 12 of them.

12 days. I can't think of things. What are they getting? Oh, partridges and pear trees and turtle doves i don't want that shit who wrote that song maybe back in the day those were like hot commodities two turtle doves you want two birds you do love birds i do love a bird but i don't know what a turtle dove is is it a chocolate turtle like is it like you know how like turtles like a chocolate with caramel yeah is it a candy

bird uh i guess i thought it was more like a dove who's this oh sorry about that those are who wrote the 12 days of christmas it absolutely is not judith one of those people is rick moranis and i there's no way google sent to me is that true oh maybe that's a movie oh here we go that's really funny i mean so she was coming for you judith i was like there's no way i think lady grom wrote the 12 days of christmas in 1898 she didn't have shit to do in 1898 that seemed like a time where like you were in the like sewing stuff and walking through mud and shit well you could definitely write a song doing those two things it actually sounds like she has all the time in the world to write

you're right i just feel like back at like those times it's like how do you i mean i guess how do we find joy now but i'm like wasn't slavery back then you looked at slaves and you were like, I'm going to write a fun song about presents. Yes, because she didn't have anything work to do. All the slaves were doing the work for her. She had the most free time in the world. Wait, so it's like,

on the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. What was the first thing? Partridge in a pear tree was the first thing. Oh, duh. partridge in a pear tree was oh duh a partridge what's the second thing two turtle doves and what's the third thing three french hens this is a song about birds uh four mockingbirds three french hens yeah all right so she or you know this whole song five golden rings okay and then i'm not gonna i don't want to look at the screen i'm trying to see if i can get all of them what's okay six six is actually let me just go from the from 12 12 okay drummers drumming 12 drummers drumming yeah 11 ladies dancing 8 no 10 noking seven swans of swimming six

geese are laying five golden rings four mockingbirds no four calling birds three french Hence two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Wow, Sashira, you knew so many of those. Wow. So wait, so there's going to be one lord a leaping with no lady. Dang, yeah. That's fucked up. And that's the birth of an incel. There's more like a fuckingel. There's one partridge available.

It's Christmas and nobody's got bitch for me. This is, I hate women. And that's how an incel was born. On Christmas day. Jesus died and an incel was born. Because because yeah i mean one of the lords he's not gonna want to fuck with one of the eight maids of milking because they're milking their titties like they have something to do they're busy they have jobs okay who are you so sheer what did i just i almost called you christine i don't know what christine sashir

there's nobody in my life named christine except for the lead of phantom of the opera which i have not seen in a minute but what are the three things that you want for christmas gosh that's really hard um i would like i'm really i love bucket would like, I love bucket hats. I'm really into bucket hats. I'm going to get a cool bucket hat. Or are you laughing? No, I'm not laughing. That was a supportive chuckle.

No, it was a supportive chuck. It was. Because maybe I got you a bucket hat. Really? I don't know. Maybe. Okay. You don't know? I don't know. Maybe. No, you didn't. Okay. You don't know?

I don't know. I'm excited to see. What else would I want? I would also want... It's really hard because I'm like, only thinking of things I need, but I don't want friends to get me things I need like like kitchen stuff or whatever. I'm like, what do I want?

Like a backpack purse. Okay. And maybe like some cool socks. Okay. I like some cool socks. Okay. I like that. Yeah. She's an accessory diva. Yeah.

We're accessorizing my life right now. Yeah. What are the three things you want? Okay. To find true love, world peace, and socks. I think. Okay. world peace and um socks i i think okay i think i'm gonna start okay so you know how i wear ankle like pants like most of the time my pants don't hit the floor i like i like a little float

so i was like okay what if with my kids i start wearing like scrunchie socks because I just did a job where we were outside and I got over my texture thing by wearing the socks I like underneath the other socks. Oh, interesting. That's very smart. Double socked. She is double socked. Don't come over me. Don't come over here. I'm double socked don't come over me don't come over here i'm double socked you don't want to mess with her she's double socked i'm ready i like that those are the three things i want and honestly okay don't don't like don't come for me i know i spent most of 2019 being like, next year is my year. And then 2020 was 2020. But I really do feel like 2024 is going to be my year. I really do. So, Shira, I think it's going to be your year.

I think a lot of nice things are going to happen to a lot of nice people. And I think the bad people, okay, things will happen to them. Like, I think everyone's gonna have a good time oh I like that 2024 is another election year so who knows okay but here's the thing good shit's gonna happen I feel it in my little heart i feel it in my little bones i'm excited yeah 2024 yeah i'm excited too it'll be great yeah i'm like i'm so excited it's gonna be great because 2023 was boo-boo trash it was not a year i liked oh yeah I guess some bad things happen. For me, all of the bad things happen. It was bad.

I didn't like it. But 2024, the car is turning around. Not doing a U-turn and going back where it came from. It's going to make a left somewhere. And a couple right turns and it's going to be great. I love this. I'm excited. Mm-hmm.

Oh, you know what? You and I are actually going to be together on Christmas. And I think it might be funny because we're going to be in an airport to find gifts for each other in the airport. Oh, my God. We really should do that. That's fun. Also, when the plane takes off, we should go, oh, holy night. And see if we can get everyone to sing along.

Yeah, that can either go really well and like magical or horrible and everyone's so upset. I think everyone would be so upset because here's the thing. When I'm having fun, everything is cool. I'm ha ha ha, tee hee hee, having a great time. Sometimes when other people are having fun, I'm a grumpy person.

I'm like, Jesus Christ, why are they so happy? Does that ever happen to you? Oh, all the time. I'm like, oh, those fucking laughing people have a good ass time and it's like yeah i i'm that person sometimes and they're having joy yes like 99 of the time i'm having a great time um but the minute i'm alone and someone's having a good time boy am i angry sometimes i'm like let me in on the fun.

I was on a flight once and there was these two men who were truly like the straight male versions of us. They were like tee hee heeing. They were talking about the people walking behind them or like walking past them. Not in a bad way. They were like, man, that's a good jacket. And they had already started drinking and they were having the best time. And I think I was texting you being like, these men suck. I want them to die. And then I landed and I was like,

they were just having a nice time. Yeah. People do that with us. I'm sure. I'm sure people are like, oh my God, these girls are giggling so much. They're laughing at nothing. I'm sure when we went to Vegas, people were really mad because you were in Comfort Plus and I was in first and I kept turning around and pointing and laughing at you. Yes, it was like a long distance conversation that was being

had across the aisle, across rows, just like hi. Hi. I love it i love being like that and i hate when other people do it it's like you can't have fun when i'm not having fun yeah let me get on the fun but also don't because i won't understand any of the references you're talking about we're not friends i don't know you yeah i don't fucking know you and I don't know your life. So, Shira, can I tell you something? Mm-hmm.

I'm getting old. Like, did you know? What do you mean? Did you hear about it? Well, I'm months older than you, so this doesn't make me feel good. You're right. You are older than me and we should never forget that. I did a job because strikes over and I had to get down on my knees a lot and then stand up a lot.

And boy, oh boy. At one point they were like, what can we do to make your get up a little cleaner? And I was like, I don't know, shave 90 pounds off of me in 20 years. Like, this is it this is what you're getting oh god i know it sucks yeah all those like videos of people being like you know if you're born in like 1990 something and you're like or like 19 oh god we're in the 80s. Lord. Yeah. So Shira, people born in the year 2000 at the millennium are 23 years old now. They really should be called the millennials. They really fucked up called them Gen Z or whatever.

They should be millennials. Welcome to the millennium. We're here. We've been here for 23 years and the millennium we're here we've been here for 23 years and the millennium honestly is not going well for will smith no no this was a bad year for him but honestly it is he has an oscar yeah what a mixed what a mixed bag you he does have an oscar but such a sullied name. Yeah. It's very funny because it's like he behaved badly and then got a reward and then got dragged for the rest of the year. Like that's a funny turn of events. Usually you do something good and then maybe something bad and then get dragged.

But it was like bad, good, bad. Nice little pattern. Yeah. And it's also like it doesn't help that we know so much about his personal life. yeah and it's also like it doesn't help that we know so much about his personal life and then so people are now dragging him for his personal life and what he did very publicly where he smacked chris rock it's just it's all very sad yeah but i i agree with you we should be calling gen z the millennials yes i wish you would make more music. I miss.

Okay. What's that song? Here come the men in black. Men in black. I love that song. I need to remember. Remember. Do, do, do.

Why did he stop making the theme songs to his movies? I think maybe because he started doing more serious movies so i think like it'd be hard like pursuit of happiness uh like rap song i'd be happy i'm looking for it here comes the pursuit of happiness. Yeah. Serena and Venus hit that ball. Truly. I feel like movies nowadays don't have like theme songs or like banging soundtracks. This is true.

I can't. I guess. Yeah. They're just usually like nice songs that are in the soundtrack, but not like a specific like this is obviously the wild wild west theme song welcome to the wild wild west do do boop i don't know how that goes but you get it um that's like romeo must die that was like alia didn't she have like two songs on it i feel like the whole soundtrack was alia song it was like she had so many songs in that movie. Right?

What are we doing? Bring that back. Honestly, bring back old movies. Bring back old entertainment. I miss old entertainment. I do. I thought it was. I thought it was.

I think it's more thoughtful and like more work went into it. Now, I'm not saying Romeo Must Die must die is a masterpiece it simply isn't but i did love it fun it was very very fun it was very fun yeah and we were okay oh disney child had a song on romeo must die that's fun okay lil mo remember her Mo, remember her? I do remember her. Timberland and Magoo, yes! Shantae Moore, this was an excellent soundtrack. Yes, this is great. This is what we need to be doing! Cross-promoting!

Hello, Hollywood! They didn't pick up. Oh no, get them back on the phone! Get them on the horn i wonder i what what do you think it'd be like if will smith right now came out with like a hardcore rap album like just to really change his image i would love it right that is the rebrand I am waiting for. For him to be like, I'm not Mr. Nice Guy anymore. Remember, I'm from Philly. I've been in these streets and parents don't understand

and neither does Jada. I want it. I would love that. I would absolutely love it. I really think it would help. Me too. I think it would help too. i think it'll help this whole image yeah should we become his publicists yes i'm willing to dedicate my whole life to that

redirect my career where's the sharon nicole they opened a publicity house a publicist publicity have a publicity house? A publicity house? I think. They don't know what it is, but they're publicists and they only rep Will Smith and he doesn't know it. He just keeps getting assigned these very strange things and he does it. That would be amazing if we could control Will Smith via remote. Yeah. that would be amazing if we could control will smith via remote what did you do this week anything fun anything silly um i tried skateboarding for the first time i saw the video it went surprisingly well. It was a long board. And I guess I truly have never even stepped on a skateboard because I'm just like, that looks like I'm going to break my face. And I got on it.

And then, like, it's kind of scary to, like, push off and be like, I'm going. I, like, slowly pushed off. And then it wasn't bad. I bad I was like kind of grooving and I think it's like helpful that it was a long board so I had more space for my feet but it was actually fun look at you Tony Hawk almost just said Tanya Hawkins and I was like I don't know who that is. I don't know. It's like, but it's Tanya Harding and Stephen Hawkins.

Yeah. Yeah. Those are two people that no one's ever, you know, blended together. Confused. I do want to get back into roller skating. I think my uncle is strengthened enough.

Oh, good. I would love to. I just got to do it, I just gotta do it. Yeah. Yeah, but my bones, my bones, I feel rickety, Sushir. I might have to get a massage or something. Ooh, I'm due for a massage too.

I actually texted my masseuse in LA and he was like, do you want a 60-minute massage a 90 minute massage or 120 I was like that's an option a two-hour massage which I guess but and I was like I got excited I was like 120 and I was like oh my god no I would melt I'd be like goop at the end of it and probably bored. I think I'd be like, okay, I want to get up now. I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah, that seems too long.

I think I would fall asleep. Yeah. I definitely fall asleep during massages. I'm trying to think of, oh, I think we were in Mexico. I fell asleep. It was like by the water and the water was crashing and I was like, goodbye. And then I woke up because I farted, which is humiliating. Yeah.

But, you know, that means your body's relaxed. Everything's coming out. Also humiliating. My friend today walked in on me in the bathroom and saw my titties and all i said was oh no titties and i just didn't move for anything oh no titties and then afterwards i laughed and i was like why was my reaction time so slow am i okay oh no oh no titties Action time's so slow. Am I okay? Oh, no. Oh, no.

Titties. Well, I mean, at least it was that and not you, like, on the toilet. Yeah. You're right. But I am trying to, like, craft the perfect response to when someone opens the door when you're on the toilet. Because it's always like, Oh no, someone's in here,

but I want to come up with something funnier. Maybe. Do you want to join me? I did see a tweet that said like, uh, how do you respond when someone knocks the bathroom and knock on the bathroom? And they're like, I've been waiting for you. Twitter. AKA X is very funny. I've been waiting for you. Twitter,

aka X, is very funny. It's very funny. People are funny. People are so funny. Something happened to my algorithm on there where I don't see any tweets from anybody I know. I just see memes now.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I don't follow anybody. I just, I just see random stuff and it's great. The people are very funny. I'm into it. I sent mean, yeah, I don't follow anybody. So I just see random stuff and it's great. The people are very funny. I'm into it.

I sent you a throwback from 2020 where a child was in school, on Zoom school, and their naked mother came in the room. Did you see that? I haven't seen that yet. I don't think I did. It's funny. Wait, is's on Twitter? It's on Twitter. I sent it right into your inbox.

Oh, here it is. It really made me laugh. And the child's just looking at the screen like what uh-huh what that's my mom that's how she walks around oh and a lot of the comments are like oh my god why is that woman naked in front of her child i grew up in a naked house where my mom was naked all the time um and like it wasn't weird to see my mother naked and it's weird to me like i don't know i feel like if i had a kid i'd be like i don't know you came out of me like i shouldn't whatever who cares i see you naked totally yeah i also think it's like good for kids to see people comfortable in their skin i feel like when you like train them to cover up early they're

like oh this is something i have to be ashamed about as opposed to like it's just my body this is it i'm walking around it's fine yes it's just your body let it all hang out young one hey young blood let that body hang out just let it all hang out come on maybe that's too far in one direction yeah i mean eventually you do need to put clothes on to be a citizen of the world were you a naked kid or a clothed kid i was a naked kid i'm trying to think when i stopped being a naked kid um probably sometime during elementary school like i don't know if it was like first or second grade or something but yeah yeah, eventually I was like, oh, I should not walk around like this. I was an underwear kid for a long, long time where I just wore underwear.

And then I was told I had to wear my shirt. So then I wear my shirt and my underwear. And then I was told you have to put pants on. And I was like, oh, I love Winnie the Poohing it. I love having my bottom half out. It is very freeing. Like, it's very. Yeah.

Cash. No pants. No pants. Pants really are the most uncomfortable part of an outfit. Yeah. Unless they're soft pants. I agree. But I truly made a choice years ago where I was like, I won't be constricted, okay?

No, no. I will be free. All of my jeans have an insane amount of spandex, and then they're basically sweatpants. Yeah. I have very few jeans, and yeah, I guess they're also stretchy, but whenever I do a acting job and the costume designer is like, what kind of jeans do you wear? And I'm like,

I don't, please don't get me jeans. Please actually give me anything else. And which is actually turned out great because then that makes them like figure out other things than jeans, which is like, Oh, cute patterned flowy pants or like

something else and that changes the style of whatever my character was as opposed to like jeans and like a nice blouse and i'm like yes let's do that please stop putting me in jeans because that feels very like like basic it is basic and it's what i live in on set you better believe they say do you want jeans and a cold shoulder top i do not understand a cold shoulder top why does anyone want it who wants just your shoulders cut out they make the ugliest fat wait cut out of the shoulder yes it's a huge thing in fat fashion they're like you want to cover up everything your shoulder is not disgusting that you can show off to people and then god forbid the peplum comes back that took the fuck up over that's a cold shoulder top oh i see yeah that is strange it's like so everything else

can be warm but my shoulders to be chilly i want them out for the world it's the sexiest part of me my shoulder also jeans i think are the hardest thing to fit so it's always like as a costumer i'm like don't you want stretchy things or like i don't know a pant or like i don't know i guess that's what people wear they wear they wear jeans i guess people do wear jeans i just really don't want to ever it's not comfortable for me i love my stretchy ones i saw a lady today in these big wide jeans that look really cute. And then she was wearing a white tank top. And I was like, ma'am, it's 30 degrees.

Where's your coat? And then I was like, I'm getting old. I truly I was like, that baby needs a coat. This young woman needs a coat. And I almost said something to her. I was almost like, what are you doing out here? You're going to catch a cold. And then I was like, go inside. Just go inside.

Don't mother this woman. Yeah. Maybe she's like quickly grabbing something, like running an errand and then going back to her apartment. She seemed like she was out. She seemed like it was a choice. And she was standing on it. And I didn't like it. No. No, I wouldn't like it was a choice and she was standing on it and i didn't like it no no i wouldn't like it either because it represents um a lack of preparedness you know and i mean i'm known for

a lack of preparedness i keep traveling without a coat but i do have like a big sweatshirt to wear but like she was in a tank top i keep flying to chicago without a coat it's do have like a big sweatshirt to wear but like she was in a tank top i keep flying to chicago without a coat it's insane i don't know why i keep doing it that is very funny and i keep like before i leave i'm like better bring a coat and then i almost missed my flight to um i think it was pennsylvania i don't remember but i almost missed my flight because i was like oh you need to bring a coat so then i tried on a bunch of coats and i didn't built in that coat trying on time for plane time because i leave exactly an hour before boarding oh my god because because listen hear me, hear me out. Hear me out.

Okay. All right. Okay. Clear. Pre-check. Zoom, zoom. Zip, zip, zap. So from my house to LAX, it takes anywhere from 30 minutes, 20 minutes, if there's absolutely

no traffic, to an hour. Ooh. So if I get there at boarding, technically, I still have another like 20 minutes to get on the flight because the boarding door closes 15 minutes prior to departure. So I have all up until that time. And that's extra time. So technically, if I leave an hour before boarding, I really have like an hour and a half to get to the to the flight. OK. Yeah.

I mean, it's really living on the edge. I haven't missed a flight in a while. I don't wanna say years, cause I don't actually know. I haven't missed a flight in a really long time. Good, that is good. Oh, and I told you this the other day. I haven't missed a flight in a really long time. Good. That is good. And I told you this the other day.

I was so mad because someone was sitting in my seat on my American Airlines flight. I had to fly American. Yuck, yuck, yuck. And because nothing went straight to Philly on Delta. I was like, Delta. Then I was like, OK. But then, so I'm on my American Airlines flight. There's someone sitting in my seat and I looked at the person and I looked at the person next to them and I was like, oh, they must be a couple. And I was like, you're in my seat. And he's like,

oh, and I was like, are you guys together? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, OK. So then I sat in their seat. But then the man was in my seat. But then I got called a woman's name. So I was like, not only did they take my seat, then i got called a woman's name so i was like not only did they take my seat but they also shuffled around and they played a seat shuffle and then i'm getting called the wrong name and then someone was poking my my chair and i was like we don't even have monitors on american airlines what are you poking and that wasn't my person i was not supposed to be poked and i had their future and i didn't want it and i was so mad why did i bring this up oh because i'm mad

i would be too yeah i'm sorry you had someone else's future or whatever their destiny that's what it was it was someone else's future if you like let people have your seat you have their future and i'll never do that again i'm gonna i'm gonna make people get the fuck up out of my seat so i have the future i'm meant to have i just can't imagine telling someone no though like if someone's like hey me and my wife or whatever me my kid uh want to sit together i just would do it unless it was like a terrible seat i think i would switch usually i say no wow usually i say absolutely not it picked my seat for a reason but they were a black couple and i was like that's my brother and my sister. So I took his future or her future.

I don't know. I'm so sorry. Now you need to be equal opportunists and deny everyone. Deny everyone. Who gives a shit? I will sit where I want to sit. I can't believe you just give up your seat so easily. Yeah, because as long as we're in the same section, it doesn't really matter to sit. I can't believe you just give up your seat so easily. Yeah, because as long as we're in the same section,

it doesn't really matter to me. Like, yeah, I don't know. And then also, I don't want to wait for them. If they're all like cozy and they got their laptops out, coffee in the seat and stuff like that, I don't want to wait for them to gather all their belongings. I do. I want to watch it.

You sat in the wrong seat on purpose and you knew what you were doing. And you thought I was going to just like, let it go. Get real. Get up. You're a villain. Grow up. Get in your seat.

I am a villain. I'm an airplane villain and I love it. Oh my goodness. This is funny. Actually, there was a post about a woman who would not give up her seat for a child and a parent to sit next to each other. But I think the kid was like a teenager or preteen or something. So it wasn't like a baby or like a toddler.

And like people were mixed because they were like, just let the family sit together. And then other people were like, I mean, that kid's old enough to be on his own. It's not like he's flying on a different plane. He's like, here's the thing. We all have access to the same seating chart. We all have the same equal opportunity to pick the seats, to sit next to the people we want to sit next to. And if you don't take the opportunity to do that, I'm not giving that to you. You want me to bend for the lack of your preparedness?

No, no. But if I'm running late, I will ask everyone on that line, go ahead into security if I can go ahead of them. Oh my goodness. I have no shame. I will literally show them my phone and be like, my flight's leaving at five minutes, please. Or the boarding door is closing at five minutes. Absolutely. That's so stressful to me. I can't imagine talking to a whole line of people being like, can I, excuse me, do I do i have to well here's what you do get that diaphragm going and go excuse me my flight's leaving in 15 minutes can i get ahead

of you and then everyone will turn around slowly and go yeah and then you rush rush rush and then you're like ding ding ding ding ding ding did it but it's also funny that you won't give someone your seat when you expect a whole line of people to allow you to go to the front of the line in security because of your lack of prepared preparedness but you won't pay it forward i don't think it's different because we don't have the same access we had different roads that we all got to the airport to get to. Maybe you live underneath the airport. You live close to the airport, so you're on time. I don't live close to the airport.

I don't hear the planes at my house. So I had to journey to the airport. And sometimes traffic being ahead of you are people who live under the airport. Everyone in front of me is an airport goblin. traffic ahead of you are people who live under the airport everyone got there earlier everyone in front of me is an airport goblin and they all crawled from under lax to get online to go to another airport to visit their goblin families and honestly i i don't need to stand behind goblins anyway it's a good point yeah thank you but like traffic that stuff i can't control i can control picking my seat don't you see the

difference well but you can control leaving earlier so you avoid traffic okay so sheer okay okay what if i leave three hours three hours before my flight is that ample time yeah well there's a horrific crash and i'm in traffic for for two two hours and 45 minutes and i get to the airport and i only have 15 minutes to get to my flight should i just wait on that line because i left three hours early and this, yeah, I just have to take it? No, you should not. People were flying out of the car in front of me. Traffic is at a dead stop.

A helicopter has to scoot people out. Nobody's moving. The whole highway is done yes no you in that case no you absolutely shouldn't wait and honestly i'm not even saying you have to wait when you leave your house when you whenever you leave your house but if you expect that kind of kindness from other people when you are running late don't you think it'd be nice to pay it forward sometimes when someone wants to sit next to their spouse you go home to your spouse you're gonna rub your love in my face no i see i don't even know why i thought you would be

you have a child your choice you have a friend where you didn't arrange it i guess you're not that good of friends this is true you and i i don't think we've asked people to move seats for us we just sit on the opposite side of planes and talk to each other or text each other and then tell the flight attendants to deliver messages yeah i can't remember where we were going but the flight attendant was like your sister she gave you this it was like a kind bar and i was like my sister and then she pointed at you and you were just waving and i was like that is my sister i was like can you give my sister this granola bar and then you were sleeping for food and i i was and i i was like can you please wake up my sister

she's gonna be so mad that she missed her food. And I was happy when she woke me up. And I watched her just like tap you and you were like. But it's just a funny way that I said it. Can you please wake my sister up? She's going to be so upset if she misses her food. It's like, what? What?

What's wrong with your sister? She needs her food it's like what whatmas i hope they're not spooky i hope they're jolly i hope you're jolly season i called a woman during one of my shows jolly. And I immediately was like, I'm so sorry. Because she was kind of chubby. And I was like, because we were talking about like being fat. And I asked her what kind of fat she was. And come to my shows.

You'll understand what that means. But I was like, what kind of fat are you? And she told me. And I was like, oh, my God, you're so jolly. And then I was like, I take that back. That's told me and i was like oh my god you're so jolly and then i was like i take that back that's like a slur you can't call a fat person jolly that's so rude yeah it's not no god i was called jolly once and i it rocked me yeah it just feels like even if it's not related to, it feels like condescending or something like, oh, so jolly. Like, ew, I'm an adult. It's a good insult, though.

You fucking jolly ass bitch. What are you smiling about? That is very funny. Okay, let's listen to this voicemail. Hello, my beautiful queens. This is Felipe. So I have a quick friendship query. I removed myself from a pretty draining friendship circle a couple months ago.

And while I have freed the loss of these friends and I am mostly on the other side of the hill, one stipulation that I didn't recognize at the time was that they would be coworkers, right? So they are still coworkers, and now I'm hearing a lot about workplace gossip. And hearing some very disparaging things said about me, including that I saved my mental health for attention, which is very hurtful because, Lord, if I did not have to deal with my mental health struggles, I would be much happier. There is no way, shape, or how that I could fake the feelings that I was struggling with. So how would you recommend navigating through this?

Because it's very hard. I want to defend myself, right? And I want to defend myself towards coworkers that I do get along with, that I stay in touch with, that I am not avoiding with, that I stay in touch with, that I am not avoiding because they hurt me and they were toxic. So how should I go about navigating this? Appreciate your podcast. Thank you for the LOLs when I was cooling down when grieving the relationship.

And also, keep watching Survivor. It's a banger of a show. This season is phenomenal. Highly recommend. Would love to get Nicole to cheer on the Survivor bandwagon. Anyways, I hope you all have lovely days. Thank you all for your entertainment

and for your beautiful friendships that I, one day, aspire to have with someone to highlight. Have a blessed day. I don't know how you end these books, so I guess bye. So they were friends with co-workers, removed

themselves from that friendship group, and now those people talk about them. Dang. Yeah. I mean, I guess it depends what your goal is like because people talk trash no matter what it sucks that you still work with them and like it can get back to you but

that mean i don't know they're not your friends anymore so it's like they don't have to be nice and you also you don't have to engage you don't have to actually talk to them i don't know i guess my advice would be you don't have to do anything uh the people who know you and like you hopefully don't lean into those negative things that those people are saying and just like take you at face value for who you are and haters gonna hate yeah haters gonna hate um ballers gonna ball um i i agree with this year because like what would the goal i mean i guess the goal would be like they stop talking about me but i feel like if you like pull them aside to be like can you stop talking about me that's like more fuel for them to talk shit about you um i think being

unbothered is i'm so jealous of people who are unbothered whether they actually are or they're just acting like they're unbothered about shit but I think that might be the route to go because then they're just like oh well I guess we could talk about this person all we want but it doesn't bother them so it's gonna get boring because I think people only talk about people where they know it can get back to them

is so like they can get a rise out of that person totally and if you can't get the rise yeah yeah it seems like you you left that group because they were toxic it sounds like and they're still exhibiting toxic behavior so i think keep doing what you're doing and like keep removing yourself from it you don't have to engage you don't have to listen to it you know you know what they're saying is not true. And that's really all you need.

Yeah. Yeah, you're better than that. Like, you don't have to stoop to their level. Why blast energy at that when you can blast energy to your heart? Because 2024 is going to be your year. Okay. Yes, exactly. Check Mart. Check Mart? is gonna be your year okay yes exactly so check mart check mart or check mark i think i said mark but it might have been mart it's not like i said check mart like the store mart

oh boy keeping friends abroad hello in september i moved from the midrest to korea for graduate school since moving here i've met so many great people and have made lots of friends one friend in particular is from europe and is doing a semester abroad here i'm reading this so strangely so they will only be here until the end of the semester we really clicked and we're having a lot of fun together but i can't stop thinking about the fact that really clicked and we're having a lot of fun together but i can't stop thinking about the fact that they are going to leave in a few months and it's very unlikely that i'll ever see them again it kind of sucks because they are the people i feel closest to here so it is a bit weird to think of them leaving whereas i will be here in japan for the

next two years one thing that is unique about this friendship is that we bonded very quickly over sharing deeply personal things about our lives and feelings. For me, this is not something I really do and I am generally much more private about my feelings. I think this is something that I struggle with in particular when I think about them leaving because I feel like the more I share with them, the closer I get and the more I'm setting myself up for sadness when they go. We have talked about keeping in touch when they leave and have both expressed how we feel about everything, which is great,

but I still feel quite sad about the situation. I never met someone where I've known so definitely that our time together would be short and limited, so I don't really know how to navigate it. I know that we will try to keep in touch after they leave, but it will never again be how it is now, which is a real bummer. I would love to know what your thoughts are, advice for what I should do, or any experiences anyone has had like this. I also just want to mention how much I have enjoyed your podcast over the years, but especially recently as I've been living abroad, it's little familiar things like this that have made the transition a bit smoother.

I didn't realize how weird I was reading it until you started reading it. And I was like, oh, this is weirder than I even thought. Then I was like, I don't know how to get out of this. It sounded like AI was reading it. Well, that's sweet. I'm glad our show is helping you abroad. I mean, I feel like you do this with people. You definitely did it with me where you're like, you say it out loud that you want to be friends.

Like, I would like to be your friend can't can we keep talking like these are my intentions so i feel like this writer can use that same energy of like i really am gonna miss you when you go back home um and we i feel like we have a great like uh rapport going or like i really trust you i feel like we have a great like rapport going or like I really trust you. I feel like we were like jiving really well. Can we keep talking? I would love to like keep this friendship going. And yeah.

And then, you know, they'll answer however they answer. But I feel like there's a better chance of the friendship not continuing if you don't say anything. Yeah, I think you're absolutely right and i do think you need to prepare be prepared that your friendship will uh morph into a different friendship like you might not be as close as you were while you were like in person but that doesn't mean you can't like keep in contact send memes make phone dates, or like even like set up visits to see each other like once or twice a year or something like that. I think it's it's I think it's fun to have like friends overseas. Like I have a friend of a friend who lives in England. So like anytime

that group of friends does a big vacation, I get to see her and we keep in touch via Instagram and stuff like that. So I like it's fun to know that she's in my life. vacation. I get to see her and we keep in touch via Instagram and stuff like that. So I like, it's fun to know that she's in my life. And if I ever go to England, I can definitely hit her up and she's definitely going to like, you know, be hospitable or whatever.

So I, yeah, I think that's, I think, yeah, you just have to say it though. You have to be like, I would love to keep in touch with you guys.

Mm. And, um, maybe plan a trip. Like, yeah that you know you already have like a future date of when you'll see this person again after the semester is over and you have something to look forward to and that will also like give you a reason to keep talking to each other because you're planning the trip um which could be to visit them in europe or could just be like to meet somewhere else to go to some other because you're planning the trip, which could be to visit them in Europe or it could just be like to meet somewhere else, to go to some other place that you both really wanna go to.

Cause it seems like you both love traveling and being in places that you are not familiar with. So you may as well keep bonding over that kind of stuff. Yeah, I think that's really smart to have something to like look forward to. Cause if it's like, let's just keep in touch let's hang out and it's like okay but it's like on january 6th we're flying to washington dc oh no oh no wait a minute we're going to we might go to a parade or something we might go

wall climbing or whatever. We're going to make maybe some signs, wear some fun colors, paint our faces, get, you know, mega horns or whatever. And like, have a really nice time.

I think that's a really great plan to have. Some like-minded people. Have a good time. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. i like that stop checkmate oh if you want a question uh answered you can email nicole andashir at gmail.com. Or you can text us or leave a voicemail.

Or whatever your fancy. 424-645-7003. Oh, well, we also have merch at podswag.com slash best friends you can buy it or whatever well we have transcripts of our new episodes you can check them out on our show page at earwolf.com or whatever

lastly don't forget to rate review and subscribe although I know it's easy to forget but please don't it's the easiest way to support this show. Hey, Sashir, I gotta see you later. I gotta see you later.

Bye, dude. Bye, dude.