Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Thinks Bill Gates Has a Computer Room
Episode Date: July 31, 2024Friends! Sasheer and Nicole discuss the things that they have forgotten and regret it a little bit. Nicole lays out hypothetical question about Bill Gates to Sasheer. Sasheer learns that Nicole thinks... that Bill Gates has a computer room. Nicole shares how a Starbucks employee mistook her for Tiffany. Sasheer wants to know who is Tiffany? So does Nicole. Sasheer is watching Sex in the City for the first time. Nicole maintains that anyone who dates Carrie doesn’t really like her. Nicole can’t wait for Sasheer to get to the part where Steve’s mom eats pizza out of the trash. Plus they answer your questions about a homophobic posts from a parent and how to make friends in high school when you’re a little awkward. This was recorded on Mon. July 15th, 2024. Sources:Season 6 Episode 12 - Sex and the City, “An American Girl in Paris: Part Deux”: https://stylecaster.com/entertainment/tv-movies/1242764/carrie-dementia-and-just-like-that/ No BuzzFeed quiz this week. Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:424-645-7003nicoleandsasheer@gmail.com Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, Nicole.
Oh.
Hi, Nicole.
Hello, Sashir.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
Good.
So I got grass put in my yard.
Mm-hmm.
And then it started, like, drying up in some places.
And I was like, oh, no, this sucks.
And it is getting hotter, so I was like, what's happening?
And then the gardener put some fertilizer down and changed the sprinkler heads.
And I have a app.
Oh.
Like a smart watering app.
Uh-huh.
And I.
But this has nothing to do with smart water, the beverage?
No.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
My yard's sponsored by smart water.
So funny.
And then I just realized today
that I had put it on a schedule to water twice a day
for the first two weeks after the grass got put
in.
And then nothing was happening after that.
Oh, no.
Which sucks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I feel silly.
No, don't feel silly.
It was just a mistake.
So silly.
No, no, no.
Grass is hard.
You are not a fertile.
You are not a lawn care professional. You are not a lawn care professional.
I'm not a lawn care professional.
I was going to say you're not a fertilizer. And I was like, that doesn't make any sort of sense.
But it's hard. I never did yard stuff. Papa did that. My father.
My papa.
My papa. Yeah. I don't know. He didn't teach me about like lawn care and yard work and stuff
um he taught me how to change my oil and my tires that's very good to know and i still know how to
do that yeah but this is not even so much lawn it's just i didn't look at the app listen i'm
just trying to be really supportive i really appreciate that and it's okay that you didn't
look at sometimes you just don't look at the app.
I'm also like, why didn't it tell me something?
It's supposed to be smart.
Yeah, but it's not going to be like,
hey bitch, are you sure you don't want to keep watering this shit?
I wish it did though.
I mean, MyFitnessPal gets kind of,
do you know MyFitnessPal?
No.
It's like a food tracker and then you put like your workouts in.
I was using it like 10 years ago. Yeah.
And it sends you passive aggressive emails.
Oh. When you haven't like
logged in, it's like I see it's doing nothing.
I see an email
is not going to help you work out some more.
And I was like, oh my god, can you
not? Whoa. Rude.
That's a little like Duolingo, like be a real
shame if you lost your streak, that kind of stuff. Yes, Duolingo did do That's a little like Duolingo. Like, be a real shame if you lost your streak.
That kind of stuff.
Yes, Duolingo did do that.
And then also Duolingo, I figured out why my bird is melting.
It's so you open the app.
Because you're like, what's wrong with my bird?
And so I took screenshots and sent it to friends.
It was like, my bird's sick.
My bird's sick as hell, dude.
Is this what bird flu looks like?
That was funny.
That got me good.
That was very funny.
Thank you so much.
Things are just hard.
Things are hard.
I think it'll be okay.
I think it'll be okay, too.
Because now you know.
You caught it.
I caught it.
You're going to start watering.
It'll water again.
It's going to be great.
Yeah, but good lord.
Oh, man.
I'm trying to think of things that I've forgotten to do.
So much.
Yeah.
So much.
Yeah.
I once went on vacation and left the air conditioning just full blast.
And John Milhiser, I asked him to grab something for me.
Or maybe he needed more dog food.
And he was like, Nicole, your house is an igloo.
And I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, the air is food. He was like, Nicole, your house isn't igloo. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, the air
is on. I was like, oh no.
The air has been on for nobody
for days. Oh no.
And that's just wasting money. Yeah.
It's like, I'm not a Rockefeller.
You're not a Rockefeller.
I'm not a
another rich person. Dynasty.
I couldn't think of a single. Gates. I'm not a Gates.
No. I'm not Melinda Gates. No. I would love to be
Nicole Gates though. Okay. With their daughter?
No. I would fuck Bill Gates.
I think they're divorced. That's right.
That's right. Okay. Bill Gates knocked on your door.
Okay. He goes,
saw you in an improv show.
Great impression.
Actually, I have no idea what he
sounds like. I don't think I do either.
Saw you in an improv show.
It's me, Bill Gates.
I was wondering if I could take you out.
What would you say?
I would go out.
I'd be intrigued.
What's this going to be like?
What are we going to do?
What's a date to Bill Gates?
So, Bill Gates takes you in a chauffeured car. So he's like,
I don't want to overcrowd you. It's our first date. We don't really know each other. So he
sends a car for you, fetches you, takes you to a helicopter pad. You get in a helicopter alone.
OK. And then you land on a beautiful island that's like 45 minutes away
and you have a beautiful dinner by the sunset
and then no strings attached,
you get to go right back home
or you can stay in the hotel not with him.
It's a beautiful hotel
so you don't have to make the voyage back
and then the next day he says,
you can either go home
or we can do this adventure
to another island that i've
planned hmm that's interesting i maybe i it depends on how much fun i have you have the best
time of your life bill gates is witty witty too yeah and has gifts for you and it's everything you've ever wanted new grass bill gates can get me new grass i'm in
he's like i invented new grass for you new grass you don't have to water it
um then done deal okay and then a week goes by and then bill's like i really like you
i would like to see you again would you go go out with him again? And each date is better than the last.
But like when, and does Bill have the impression that this is a romantic?
He would like it, but he's not pushing you.
He's not pushing me.
He's really respecting boundaries and being a real gentleman.
Then yeah, I'd hang out again.
And okay, what if you fall in love with Bill Gates?
Then I guess I fall in love with Bill Gates then I guess I fall in love with Bill
Gates I really just described what like courting should be do you know what I mean like they
should take you out no one should pressure you you should have an amazing time yeah yeah you should yeah no pressure and then like i hope to
see you again but if not no pressure i wonder if bill's listening right now what if what if do you
think bill gates fucks hmm probably isn't that funny to think about yeah just him fucking period
or that he like gets pussy?
Like him in the throes of like passion.
Because to me, yeah, he's a billionaire
but like there's a room in his house that's just computers.
And like do you think
sometimes like maybe Melinda would come
into the computer room and they'd like get freaky
and like knock over computers?
You, so you think there's
a room in his house that's just computers?
Yeah, he likes computers.
I don't, like he's collecting them?
Yeah, every iteration of a computer.
Maybe he does have that. I don't know if it'd be in his house.
Oh, you don't think so?
I mean, I don't know.
Don't you have posters from things you've done?
This is true.
Little trinkets from things you've worked on?
Yeah.
Bill Gates has a room of computers in his mansion and I know it.
Yeah, okay, maybe he does. People who surf have surfboards and stuff? from things you've worked on. Yeah. Bill Gates has a room of computers in his mansion and I know it. Yeah.
OK.
Maybe he does.
People who surf have surfboards
and stuff.
So.
So obviously he's got
a computer room.
Well maybe it wouldn't be so
out in the open for
them to fucking knock it over.
It's probably behind glass cases.
Probably.
But yeah maybe they did
fuck up my computer.
I really think it's wild
that you don't think
Bill Gates has a computer room.
I guess I assume to be like
in a storage place
or a museum
or I don't know.
But maybe he has a computer room.
I guess in my mind,
he just,
it's like saying Justin Timberlake doesn't have a recording studio in his
house.
He does.
It's like saying Timbaland doesn't.
Missy Elliott,
they all have recording studios in their homes.
You're so right.
You're right.
Yeah.
Basketball players have half court basketball.
Like when you do a thing,
you have to have the thing at your house.
You have to?
Those are the rules.
I didn't make them up.
Do you have a stage and a microphone at your house?
I do have a microphone.
And so do you, because we fucking podcast.
And I can make a stage at any moment.
That's just stacking some shit up.
Actually, I do have a stage where my pole is.
Yes, this is true.
All right.
I stand corrected. where my pole is. Yes, this is true. All right. I stand corrected.
Yes, you do.
I could put on a show at a moment's notice.
I have a ring light.
I have a whole set up.
Yeah.
So do you.
Yeah.
This is true.
Everybody has work at home.
Everybody.
Everybody has work at home.
Even mailmen.
They get letters sent to their own house.
And that's nice.
And they have a mailbox in their house.
And that's their work.
And that's their work.
This is true.
What about marine biologists?
I'm sure they have fish tanks or books about marine biology because you got to brush up.
You just discovered a new water creature.
How are you going to know what it is unless you got the stuff at home to do a little bit
extra research?
Everyone has work at home.
There is a taxi driver.
They have a car.
They do.
How do they get to work?
Okay.
Everybody. Give me something else everybody a welder a welder your tools you bring them home yeah okay what is a welder uh what do they do they like uh use like some sort of hot fire to
to fuse metal to other metal yeah i think they have that at home
too you think so yeah you got practice can't make any mistakes out in the out in the yard i don't
know yeah i truly think everybody brings work home what about a secretary? Papers. You have papers in your house and you have a telephone.
Because guess what?
You are your own secretary when you're at home.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I just came up with one.
Construction workers.
I don't think they have work at home.
Unless they're remodeling their house.
Remodeling their house, then they brought work home.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or just doing anything to their house.
Yeah.
The only construction worker I can think of who brings it home is Jojo Siwa.
She wears that little construction vest all the time now.
Oh.
She's a woman at work.
So funny.
I love her costumes.
I'm obsessed.
They're very funny costumes.
They're so good.
What are other jobs?
Sometimes I like forget what a job is.
Which sounds very privileged
because this is my job.
Yeah.
And I'm sure people don't think of this as a job.
My grandpa still doesn't understand what I do.
Definitely.
Yeah.
A librarian.
They have books in their house.
They definitely do.
A weatherman.
It's all around us.
Weather's everywhere.
Wait a minute.
Have you?
Oh, wait.
Maybe you sent it to me.
It's the mailman who kind
of wraps and had glorilla on oh the weatherman who wraps yeah what did i say mailman oh shit did i
you did that's scary when that happens yeah because i really thought i said weatherman
and i said mailman you did say mailman yeah that happened to me the other day when we got brunch and I am pretty sure I said salmon and then Tess and I guess the waiter heard steak, which maybe I did say it.
I don't think you did.
I don't think I did anything.
Specifically because when we went out to dinner the day before and you got pappardelle, I lost my mind.
So I feel like if I heard steak,
I would have lost my mind. Yeah.
Because I was listening. I feel like
just salmon's my go-to. I rarely
even order steak, so I don't know why steak would come out of my mouth.
Unless I was reading it somewhere.
Maybe. But
yeah, at first I was
like, there's no fucking way.
But then later I was like, I guess there is a way.
I guess it is possible. It was funny because when Tess said it, you were like. But then later I was like, I guess there is a way. I guess it is possible.
It was funny because when Tess said it, you were like, no.
And I was like, oh.
But I also was like, I feel like I would have freaked out.
But it was just so funny that you were like, no, certainly didn't happen.
No, there is no chance.
No possibility.
No, you're wrong.
That was a funny brunch because it was so hot in that restaurant.
Yeah.
But I will not not go back.
I'll always go back.
I'll always.
It's one of my favorite restaurants.
Yum, yum, yum.
We were technically outside.
Yes.
So that is also why it was hot.
Very, very much just outside.
And they have great cookies.
I was having a moment at one time with that cookie.
It was.
Oh, you really were dancing to yourself. Just like. I was having a moment at one time with that cookie. It was, oh, you really were dancing
to yourself. Just like, I just, I love a cookie. You say. And I very recently had a really nice
loaf. It was a banana bread loaf and it was so decadent. And I was like, I'm never having banana
bread, but I think I should be. I do like banana bread. It's nice.
I don't know why I'm never having it.
I also really like Starbucks banana bread.
Me too.
It's yummy.
It's yummy.
It's probably full of additives or something that maybe-
That makes it really yummy.
Yeah, but it is yummy.
It's working, whatever it is.
I went to the drive-thru at Starbucks with Clyde, and the person said said hello this is Marco and I went hi Marco
can I get that and he went okay Tiffany and I was like did he not say his name is Marco
was he mocking me I'm not Tiffany and I'm not Tiffany and then I got to the window and I was
like hi and his name tag did say Marco so I was like I did hear him say Marco and he went oh and I said hello maybe you said something that sounded like Tiffany but
I don't know what but who's Tiffany
he thought it was you yeah but I guess he has a friend named Tiffany who comes by all the time
is that what he said I don't know but why would he say Tiffany friend named Tiffany who comes by all the time.
Is that what he said?
I don't know.
But why would he say Tiffany?
Why would he just say a random name?
I think he thought you said Tiffany.
I didn't.
Well, I know that.
You know that.
But maybe he thought you did.
Maybe.
Maybe he says something like, I just have an epiphany.
Can I get these items?
Here's the funniest part.
It wouldn't be out of the ordinary if I said I had an epiphany.
Can I have these items?
Because I usually go, may I have a venti iced coffee with sugar-free caramel, no classic syrup, and four shots of espresso?
And they go, wow.
And I go, let's die today.
Yeah. Or maybe die today. Yeah.
Or maybe Venti.
Tiffany.
Venti.
Tiffany.
Tiffany.
I don't know,
but it was a very awkward meeting at the window.
I mean, I'm honestly surprised
when he said, I'm Marco.
You didn't go, Polo.
Well,
I don't think about that for the rest of my life
how I really should have
said polo
you can go back
you can always go back
and then he's like
alright Tiffany
why'd you say that
I'm not Tiffany
why do you think
I'm Tiffany
and then I got a
pup cup for
Clyde
Clyde
I think it's just whipped cream
it does look like that I think yeah I think it's just whipped cream. It does look like that.
I think, yeah, I think that's just what it is.
And boy, oh boy, did he enjoy it.
He really acts like nobody feeds him.
And I feed him every fucking day.
But he was like, oh, like losing his mind.
And then he was like tuckered out after.
And there was just like white stuff in his little whiskers.
Oh, my goodness.
Was he like on a sugar high?
Was he pumped up?
Oh, my God.
His whipped cream is just full of sugar.
Yeah.
But I don't, I assume if it is whipped cream, then yes, it's full of sugar.
But I also don't know what it is.
I thought they really did have other food to give to the dogs.
That's not human food.
Wait, Judith, can you look up to see if a pup cup or Jordan, can you look up to see if a pup cup is just whipped cream?
Yeah, what is it?
I can tell you because I used to work at Starbucks.
I can tell you exactly what it is.
It is heavy whipping cream with pumps of vanilla syrup in it.
So it's vanilla syrup and the heavy whipping cream.
Oh.
Is it sugary?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's vanilla syrup in it.
Yeah.
That seems not great.
It's a puppuccino.
Oh, and it's called a puppuccino?
So here's the thing.
When people say, I want a pup cup, you're just getting a tiny cup of whipped cream.
That's all it is.
Yeah.
But it's free, right?
Oh, yeah, it's free.
Yeah.
Anytime you...
Some Starbuckses actually have dog treats, but most will just give you a little cup.
But those who are very much in love with dogs, we know that whipped cream is not the best
for dogs.
So that's why we would have treats.
Treats. Oh. Yeah. Why... Yeah. dogs we know that whipped cream is not the best for dogs so that's why we would have treats yeah why yeah who came up with a pup cup seems not safe no can you google is a pup cup safe for
dogs as long as it's not like it's not every day it should be fine but some people are going to
every day every day puppuccinos are not toxic But some people are going to Starbucks every day. Every day.
Puppuccinos are not toxic to dogs, meaning many dogs can safely enjoy these in moderation.
So in moderation.
In moderation.
Yeah.
I have to stop getting them for Clyde.
I think I've told you on this podcast, Clyde's a little overweight.
You did.
He has to lose, I think, three pounds.
Damn.
But for his little frame, it's a solid amount of weight but like okay we have our routine
he gets a treat when we come back from
a walk he gets a treat before
bed and then
when he does not get his treat before bed
he like looks for it and then like
his eyes are big saucers
and he's like but we always
do before bed treat and then I have to be like oh my god
fine and then i'll go downstairs and get him a he just i don't want him upset i just don't want it
i understand i love him so much but i wonder if it's also like humans where if we eat before bed, our body has a harder time digesting the food.
So if he eats a treat right before he sleeps, I wonder if it's the same kind of thing.
I set him up for failure.
I mean.
But also, like, they adapt.
If you don't give him a treat, he'll just get used to, oh, I don't get treats anymore.
Eventually.
I don't know how long it would take.
Well, I cut his treat in half.
So it was a whole treat.
Then it was half a treat.
Now it's a quarter of a treat.
Okay.
Yeah.
I just love when he lights up with food.
It's just like his mummy.
I mean, food's great.
I love food.
Yeah.
Should we do a quiz?
Let's do a quiz.
I'm trying to think if I have anything else to tell you.
Nope.
Just been watching that Dallas Cowboys documentary.
Oh, yeah.
I'm almost done with Sex and the City.
Well, let's not take a quiz.
What part are you in?
What?
Oh, my gosh.
What?
What?
I have, like, I think three more episodes until I'm done.
Do you understand what I'm saying when I say season six is not like the rest?
Yes.
It is so different, right?
It feels very different.
And especially towards the end, it's like lightning speed.
Yes.
Everything is happening to everybody in every single episode.
Very quickly.
I also think the way it's shot is slightly different. Yes. Everything is happening to everybody in every single episode. Very quickly. I also think the way it's shot is slightly different.
It's like brighter and punchier.
So wait. Okay. What part are you on exactly?
Smith.
Samantha's boyfriend just shaved his head.
Uh-huh.
Which is very sweet.
Charlotte just got a dog because she talked to some lady in the park and I think that lady felt bad for her. Uh-huh.
And Carrie's getting that art guy, the artist.
The Russian?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Russian.
And, yeah. Okay. art guy the artist the russian yeah yeah the russian and okay so i maintain nobody who dates
carrie in the series likes carrie the russian barely likes her yeah it is confusing i'm like
i'm surprised every time i see him because i'm like oh they still like each other yes they kind
of don't have good conversations they don don't. He's always like,
Carrie, you idiot. Like, he's so mean to her. They don't understand each other. No. But they keep
seeing each other. Uh-huh. Burger hated her. Burger was so mean to Carrie. Yeah. Like,
actively nasty to her in person. Big likes her, but likes that he
can, that she's wrapped around his finger.
That's not real like. Keep coming back, yeah.
And then people are like, justice
for Aiden. I'm like, I don't think Aiden
actually liked her. I think Aiden was just
ready to marry the next woman he met.
Which he did so quickly.
Mm-hmm. Which you ran into
him on the street. Uh-huh. I was like,
wait, how much time had passed
I thought they just broke up and he's like
marry that lady we got a kid and I was like
what yeah he was
ready to settle down and it's
a thing that I've like read it on the internet
that it's like a thing that happens with men
where they're like oh no the next I need to get married
the next woman I meet I'm gonna marry her
yeah damn
nobody likes carrie
it does suck and then have you gotten to the part what so you have gotten to the part where
um aiden buys her apartment next door which was just bad yeah bad to begin with really because
she didn't love him yeah i don't know why she agreed to that i don't know and then she had to
buy her apartment back and she was like, I only have shoes.
And then she was like,
Charlotte, give me money.
She really bullied Charlotte
into giving her money.
And Charlotte doesn't
owe her money.
That's not a good friend quality.
Like, I gave you money?
Mm-hmm.
Like, she was like,
and what do you need it for?
Like, you live in this big,
like, what?
Yeah, I've also,
I've been watching the show
being like,
so when is Carrie
going to pay her back?
I've yet to see her offer to pay
and she's still buying so many
shoes going at all these
dinners and she sold a book.
I have yet to see a check being passed
to Charlotte.
Well I won't ruin anything but
it never happens.
It doesn't seem like it's going to.
It simply doesn't happen.
I love that you're so far along.
Yeah.
I really flew through it.
Cannot wait.
There is one thing that Miranda says that I said to, you know what?
I'll wait for it to happen.
Oh, my goodness.
I'll just wait for it to happen.
Okay. But just keep in mind, there was a night you went missing.
And me and your partner couldn't find you.
And we were talking on the phone.
And I said something that was said in Sex and the City about getting somebody.
I can't wait.
This will be a treat for me.
It will be a treat. me it will be a treat
and I wonder if
I remember what you said
oh my god
oh I can't wait
to get to that part
I can't wait
and then I love that
Charlotte ends up with Harry
yeah
like it's just so wonderful
and cute
it's very cute
he's so patient
he's so patient
cause she's like um could you could you just shave your back?
She's like nitpicking all the time.
And he's like, ah, lady, shut up.
But that's love.
You're like, she nitpicks and I love that.
Yeah.
Isn't that so nice?
It's very nice.
And Steve is, okay, you've gotten to where Steve's mom ate pizza out of a garbage, right?
Wait.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I don't think so.
Wait.
Out of the garbage?
Oh, no.
Wait, can you, Jordan, can you look up what season that happens?
I'm pretty sure that was an earlier season.
That can't be one of the last episodes.
I thought it was earlier, too.
Yeah. I don't remember earlier, too. Yeah.
I don't remember this, though.
Where she's, like, cold and she doesn't know where she is.
And she's like, this pizza's out.
You what?
She's cold and she doesn't know where she is?
Yeah, she's not wearing her, like, her coat.
And she's, like, nagging Miranda.
Is it when they were getting the kid baptized?
Maybe.
I don't remember.
Wait.
Was the pizza in the trash at Miranda's place?
No, that's the cake that she eats out of the trash.
Yes.
Okay.
No, this is Steve's mom.
She wanders away.
It's not funny, but she wanders away.
Like on the street?
Yes.
Oh, no.
And then she eats pizza out of the trash.
And Miranda's like, oh, no, we have to get you inside.
And she's like, this pizza tastes funny.
I certainly.
Season six, episode 12.
Oh, it's season six episode.
I can't believe it happened so late.
I haven't gotten to it yet.
I am so sorry.
It's okay.
It doesn't ruin anything.
I mean, I'll still be surprised as to how we got there.
I'm surprised as to how we're getting there.
Wait, season 6, episode
12? Yeah. Is that the
last episode?
It's one of the last.
It's broken up into two parts.
So,
I think the whole season's still like
22 episodes. 6A,
episode 12.
Oh, okay.
So it's the end of 6A.
But I must have seen it then.
What?
Season 6, episode 12.
Wait, how many episodes are in the entire sixth season?
I think on Netflix it's all just season 6.
It doesn't break it up into season A and B.
They were trying to give us an event.
They were like, it's coming to a close.
We're going to give you guys an event.
And yeah.
One of my favorite episodes is when Carrie gets robbed and nobody cares.
Okay.
So episode 12 came out September 14th, 03, and then it picked back up with episode 13, January 4th, 2004.
Yes, this I know.
But how many episodes are in the whole season?
Oh, it's 20.
Oh, okay.
And you only have three left?
Yeah.
So you definitely saw her eat out of the trash.
But I really didn't.
But you had to have seen this.
I don't.
I did not.
I don't.
What else happened in the episode?
Can we find a synopsis?
What else happens in the episode?
I know that, like, Miranda's like, Steve, I think your mom is, like, being, like, forgetting.
And then he's like, not my mom.
No, Miranda.
No.
No, Brady's. No, Miranda. No, no,
Brady's doing well too.
Um,
and then she's not doing well.
Then,
uh,
Miranda gives her a bath.
I have not seen this at all,
but I promise you,
I only have three more episodes.
Wait,
this is nuts that you haven't,
unless Netflix,
unless they really did break it up.
But,
but I don't know i got
i gotta this is wild all right so season 6 episode 12 titled one summary miranda and steve celebrate
brandy's first birthday exchange i love you and resume their shitty relationship charlotte is
devastated after a miscarriage and carrie goes a date with Mikhail Borosnovich?
The Russian.
The Russian guy.
Well, I definitely saw all that.
But why didn't I see this other storyline?
This is so wild that you haven't...
Did they edit it out?
This pizza tastes funny.
She's like literally eating out of the trash.
None of that.
Wow. This of that. Wow.
This is nuts.
Maybe it's because like Steve's mom isn't,
it's not,
she's not a huge role.
No.
It's just them being like,
oh yeah,
like she has dementia and it's,
it's almost like it's the show's way of like kicking her out.
Maybe that's why.
I really feel like I would have remembered Miranda giving him his mom a bath.
Yeah.
Can you pull up a picture of Miranda bathing Steve's mom?
I don't know.
I would have remembered that.
Well, when you finish, you'll be able to come over to Sex in the City night.
Oh.
Where John and I and his boyfriend we play this insane
Sex and the City game
that truly makes no sense until you start playing it.
Okay.
And it's really fun.
Great.
And we play the theme song on loop.
For hours you hear
dun dun dun dun dun dun
That's fun.
You don't remember any of this.
No.
She's so happy in the bathtub.
Look at her.
Look at that smile.
I have never seen this.
And then, oh, she is wearing a coat.
But she does say it's cold out here.
I haven't seen.
I don't understand.
This is wild.
And you're watching on Netflix?
Yeah.
Maybe there's a difference there.
I've only ever watched it on HBO.
Hmm. Maybe they're a difference there. I've only ever watched it on HBO. Hmm.
Maybe they're numbered differently?
Hmm.
But I for sure have seen the other parts of that episode.
How wild.
Okay, so how do you prefer Carrie's hair?
Hmm.
Waves, curly, straight.
Waves and long.
Yes.
I don't like the bob.
No.
And the brown is fine.
When she has, like, brown and, like, streaks.
But I like the long waves.
I like the long when it's, like, frizzy and wild.
Yeah.
I love that.
In the beginning when they tried to do anything to Charlotte's hair, I was, like, bad.
Why are we trying to do anything?
anything to Charlotte's hair, I was like, bad.
Why are we trying to do anything?
There was a few episodes where they tried crimping it or teasing it.
And I was like, just leave it straight.
That's the best it's going to do.
Yes.
Yeah.
Wait, you said Charlotte.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, her hair is beautiful and thick.
Just leave it as is.
Leave it as is.
I like when they do stuff to Miranda's hair.
It's always wild.
And it's like, all right, so we did that.
It's spiky now. It's now fun and spiky.
And I think Samantha looks flawless.
And get this, get excited.
She's coming back to Injust like that.
Like as a series regular?
I don't think so.
I don't know.
Okay.
But she's coming back.
Oh my goodness.
We don't know in what capacity.
The news was broken to me the other day. Oh my goodness. We don't know in what capacity. The news was broken to me the other day.
Oh my goodness.
And I was so excited.
Is the news broken to the world?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I didn't know.
I was like, do you have an inside?
I have an inside.
Insider trading tip.
I know.
Henry Brothel's other steen.
HBO.
Henry Brothel's other steen.
Other steen? otherstein hbo hen henry brothel's otherstein the head of hbo yeah it doesn't sound it doesn't stand for home box office it stands for a henry what was it brother brothel otherstein you know that classic name henry brothel otherstein
mm-hmm.
Yeah, I had some Othersteins living next to me when I was a kid.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Maybe we should answer questions and queries and not even do a quiz i like that yes i have them written out and i'll bring the letters in there okay okay what is your favorite episode thus far
oh i really like the episode uh where carrie left took her shoes off at a baby shower and someone
took the shoes the shoes and then she like signed. And someone took the shoes. Someone took the shoes. And then she
signed up for a registry for herself. Or not
signed up, but she was like, I'm getting married to myself.
And then the lady had to get the shoes back.
It's still wild to me because I'm like,
the shoes had to be somewhere.
Yes. Where did they go?
Where did the shoes go?
And I just didn't like how the friend was so
like, she did not
care. She was like, you can't be spending that much on shoes.
And wasn't like, let me ask every single friend who was at this party.
Wear these expensive shoes.
Because I'd also be like, oh, I don't want my friends to be thieving in my home.
That's a bad look on me.
And she's like, oops, like, sorry.
So strange. The earlier episodes, they're like fringe friends are insane
i love the pregnant one in jersey yes he's like let's get let's go out and it's like girl wild
you're pregnant it's okay i can take my shirt off i was like no we don't want that um i think
my all-time favorite moment is, I think it's Kristen Johnson,
where she's like,
nobody's fun anymore in New York.
Nobody smokes anymore.
And then she falls out a fucking window.
It is... Too fun.
So funny.
I maintain it's one of the best shows on television.
I agree.
It's so good.
It's so good.
There's so many good episodes.
When Aiden yells at her in front of the fountain, he's like, just marry me.
She's like, whoa.
Yeah.
He yells a lot.
He does because he doesn't like her.
But he also is like trying to make a joke.
Like, I mean, like, you can just marry me now.
If you love me, what's the big deal?
She's like, whoa.
Just wants to be married.
And when you get to Injust like that, I'm not ruining anything.
But either he has really settled into who Aiden is or they are writing to his strengths.
Because he's like, what up, sugar, bah, bah, bah, dee, dah.
It's so funny.
He's great.
Yeah.
Ugh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's help people.
Let's help people.
Hey, y'all.
I'm going to be heading out to California next year.
I'm really excited.
There's been something that's been haunting my brain. And I would love to know y'all's thoughts on it.
So I only have one parent.
I have a mom.
My father passed away maybe, like, seven years ago, and he was the more, like, supportive, like, understanding one.
She is a wonderful person, but she tends to post, like, homophobic things to Facebook on occasion.
And first of all, let's just talk about Facebook.
Like, Facebook is truly the hell of the Internet, and it, like, needs to go.
But anyway.
And any time we try to have a conversation about it, it kind of just gets chalked up to me being overdramatic.
And she says that she's always going to fall back on the Bible, which is what she thinks is, like, the morally right thing to do.
But it's just tough.
I'm like, I apologize if this is too dark of a question.
Like, I know this might be a little too dark for the pot,
but I would love to know what y'all think,
because it's like, is there a way to find peace in homophobia
if it's your only support system?
Or at that point, would it just be better to be alone, you know?
Anyway, I really love you both so much and I'm
so glad this podcast is here you make me feel like I have like family and yeah you make me
very happy and I love you both bye I think that's tough that sucks um but I do think there is
something to chosen family um I don't necessarily believe that blood family is your only support system.
And I do believe in boundaries.
I know in my family, when things are said that I don't really like, I'll say, oh, I don't like that.
That's not great.
Um, but I do think surrounding yourselves yourself with like minded people who have the same values of you who might necessarily aren't blood related.
I think that might be helpful. I guess your mom's gonna think whatever she believes but I wonder if there is a way to
communicate
I don't want you actively posting
these thoughts
because there's something different than like
oh we have differing opinions and
you're posting
homophobic
things publicly
and I'm your kid you know like and
yeah i and i don't know i don't know how to do it actually i mean maybe it could be like
or maybe you just say that like yeah you know i i understand we might not agree now maybe we will one day but um like the fact that you are
um hosting uh so publicly your disdain for for a community of people that
did they say that they're part of the are they i don't remember did they say i don't remember
either they say they're queer i can't remember no they just said that they didn't say that they're part of the... I don't remember. I don't remember either. Did they say they're queer?
I can't remember.
No, they just said that...
They didn't say that they were a part of a larger community.
Yeah.
Okay.
But just that they don't like that.
That they don't like it.
Yeah, I think it could just be like,
I don't really love that you're posting this.
It doesn't make me feel good.
Yeah.
Would you mind stopping?
Yeah.
And like, as, you know, a Christian stopping? Yeah. And like.
As you know a Christian lady.
Yeah.
Maybe you shouldn't.
Everybody. Yeah.
Maybe you shouldn't be putting that negativity out in the world like that.
And it's like instead of saying hateful homophobic things you can pray for the gay souls in church.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Do a personal prayer. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Do a personal prayer.
Yeah.
As opposed to publicly.
Because also,
I wonder if you ask questions like,
what do you think's being accomplished
by posting this stuff?
Like, what do you think's happening?
Or like, what's the goal?
Yeah.
And if she doesn't have an answer,
maybe that can help her be like,
oh, why am I posting this?
Why am I doing this?
Yeah.
Because it's just, it can't be because she thinks That can help her be like, oh, why am I posting this? Why am I doing this? Yeah.
Because it's just, it can't be because she thinks gay people are going to read this and think, oh, you know what?
I'm going to turn it around. You know, before bed, gays have to read, you know, mean memes about themselves.
They have to read status updates about themselves.
Yeah.
Solved? Solved. status updates about themselves. Yeah. Uh, solved?
Solved.
Hi, Nicole and Sashir.
If y'all see this, I will freak out, cry face.
Before I get to my problem, I just want to start by saying you guys are so freaking funny.
I remember listening to y'all with my favorite cousin while she drove me to skate practice,
who unfortunately passed in 2022 because of cancer.
I'm so sorry.
So your podcast means so much to me and makes me feel like she's listening with me and laughing with me. So thanks for that. But anyway, here's my problem.
I'm 14. I'm about to go to high school. I start school in a month and I'm so nervous. I have
really bad social anxiety and it doesn't help that I'm just awkward in general. In middle school,
I got lucky because the school was small. So you had to know everybody. And also my best friend
came up with me and started talking to me and introducing me to know everybody and also my best friend came up with me and started uh talking to me and introduced me introducing me to her friends but my best friend isn't going
to the same high school as me and the chances of me getting lucky like that are very low
so my question is how do i make friends and somehow survive my freshman freshman year in
one piece at this point i'm willing to take any advice also nicole when you started singing the
rest is still unwritten i I surprisingly recognized it immediately.
And then I started laughing really hard like I was crying.
In the highly unlikely chance that y'all are reading this, thank you so much for the advice and the giggles.
That's nice.
I knew what I was singing, too.
Staring.
Listen, I think school's tough, especially when you're a little weirdo.
I'm a little weirdo.
Um, but schools have clubs and stuff where the weirdo, where, you know, weirdos can meet.
I'm saying weirdo because our friend said that they were awkward.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but yeah, find out where the clubs are.
That's just what I hear is good.
Yeah.
I'm sure you'll find other people
who like
jive with your personality.
We sound so old.
Jive.
Yeah.
The youngsters will jive
with your personality.
Hey,
if you're hip to activities.
And I was like,
go clubs are good.
Like we've never even heard
of high school before.
But yeah, I think a club is a good place like if you like theater or honors society i don't fucking know what clubs there are in high school
but like there will be one that is good for you and that you can meet like-minded people um Um, also, um, you know, I, my best friend in high school, my friend, John, the way we
met was I was telling my sister who was in a couple of classes and I was like, I think
this kid, John, that you talk about or talked about, cause he was in a class of yours last
year.
I think he's in my chemistry class.
And she was like, Oh my God, he's so funny.
So the next day I said, Hey, my sister says you're funny.
So make me laugh.
And he went, what? And I was like, Oh, say something funny. So the next day I said, hey, my sister says you're funny. So make me laugh. And he went, what?
And I was like, oh, say something funny.
And he said something.
And then I did laugh.
And it was like kind of aggressive.
But he's still one of my best friends.
Yeah.
It was we had like a common interest.
Like we were talking about like we really liked Air Force Ones at the time.
And I had some fake Year of the Pig ones, which are pink Air Force Ones.
And he was like, oh, my God, I know what those are.
And I was like, oh, yeah.
And then we just had like a commonality with shoes.
And then we just like really became good friends.
And then became good friends with his friend, Nick.
And then the three of us started hanging out together.
But, yeah, sometimes just talking to people is fun.
Yeah.
Which, I mean, you know, this person said they are socially anxious.
But I do think sometimes clubs make you do things that are like icebreakers or like, you know, talk in a circle about X, Y, and Z.
So hopefully you can find an activity where because you have a common bond, you'll start talking about that thing.
And then maybe you'll lead to other things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But best of luck.
I think you're going to kill it.
I think you're going to have so much fun.
You know, talk about our podcast.
No, don't do that.
They'll be like, who are these freaks that you listen to?
Who are these old ladies?
Who are these old ladies who said that you're going to jive with me?
Solved.
Solved.
All right.
One more, and here it is
hi Nicole
I'm so thankful for you guys
I have a
wedding question
my boyfriend and I have been together
for about two years
yes I said boyfriend not fiance I'm not crazy
I promise
we were talking about who we would want
in our wedding parties.
And for a while, I've been like, I have one best friend and one sister.
And he has one best friend and one sister.
And so we'll have a perfectly matched wedding, and it'll be perfect.
And then he says that he has two other really good friends that he would want in his wedding.
And I kind of don't have any other really close friends.
All of my other friends live further away.
And my philosophy for wedding party people has always been, you know,
like these are the people that are going to help you in your marriage.
So it's not really an advice question.
I'm just curious what your guys' philosophies are about wedding parties.
Like I know you guys would beies are about wedding parties. Like, I know you
guys would be each other's maids of honor, but do you guys have any thoughts on who you
include as your bridesmaids and who you wouldn't? I know you both have, like, vast bunches of
friends. I'm curious about you. Thank you so much.
That's a good question. I've seen weddings where there's no wedding party and it's just the
couple getting married and that could be for many reasons could be you know they didn't want to
choose between friends or they have too many or or not enough you know for whatever reasons but
I think it's up to you you don't have to actually have anyone up there.
Or I've also seen weddings where sometimes someone has like a lot of besties and they give them other jobs. Like maybe they have like a couple in the wedding party and then a couple are ushers or a couple of them are the flower people or they're reading a poem before the ceremony or singing a song like you know you
could also tell your your partner like well maybe because i only have a sister and a best friend
maybe we could just have your sister and best friend up there as well and then the other two
best best friends are the ushers at the door or or whatever some other job that can make them feel
included but not necessarily make it look like I don't have any other friends.
I don't have a single other soul in my life.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree with that.
I thought about it and I was like, if I were to ever get married, I think I would have a friend officiate.
I would probably have you be my best woman.
And then my partner has a best person and that's it.
Yeah.
Because I like have a lot of really close friendships with people that I really love.
And to weed through that to be like, oh, you get to be in it, but like you don't get to be in it.
But like I love you equally.
I think that seems too hard hard it seems too hard yeah
yeah and there's no need to like stress your relationships out like that I kind of really
like nobody yeah I think it's really nice it's just the two people in love saying I love you
here's a ring and bye-bye that's a full wedding ceremony and that's a ring. Bye-bye.
That's a full wedding ceremony.
And that's a wedding, baby.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it is nice to be in, like, I think it's nice to, like, invite people.
You know what I mean?
It's like, it's one of those things.
It's an honor to be invited.
To be like, will you be in my wedding party?
Like that?
No, no.
Will you just come to my wedding?
Oh, I see. You don't have to be in the party.
Exactly. I think there's too much pressure on it i think so too yeah i could
just be how do you feel i agree with you okay yeah i think um yeah same thing i probably have
a friend officiate but also i don't know if i necessarily need a wedding party i think maybe
that meant more in the past like maybe they did more stuff like like duties in in the past. Yes. Like, maybe they did more stuff,
like duties in the couple's lives,
and more of a visual, or like a,
what am I trying to say?
Like a signifier that these people will help you
with your journey as a couple, or whatever.
And I don't think that's the case today. Yeah, nobody's shepherding your journey as a couple or whatever. And I don't think that's the case today.
Yeah, nobody's shepherding your journey as a couple except for y'all.
That's your responsibility.
Y'all are the shepherds.
Yeah.
But also, yeah, like something blue, something new.
Nobody's really doing all that anymore, I guess.
There's so many traditions that don't really mean anything anymore.
Yeah.
But I used to have, like, a deep list.
I used to have, like, a list of, like, ten people that I was like,
these will be my bridesmaids.
Yeah.
And as I've gotten older, I'm like, I don't even know if I want to get married.
Unless it's, like, tax purposes, health care.
Which are great reasons to get married.
But, yeah, I think, like, a party would be fun with, like, a friend who officiates.
And then, you know, at the, like, reception, I have two friends who just got married.
A friend of ours officiated.
And then at the dinner, one, two, a brother, a sister, friend, friend.
I think four people spoke.
Four or five people spoke at the dinner.
And that was like, it was really sweet.
It was really nice.
I just watched the Sex and the City episode
where it was Charlotte's second wedding
and Miranda was reading a speech
and it caught on fire.
It was really funny.
I was like, oh, Miranda's gonna read a speech.
And it just went right up into flames
goodbye
yeah
yeah
solved
solved
remember when
Miranda dated
um
oh my god
what is his name
Blair
Blair Underwood
oh my god
yeah
I couldn't believe
that she got to date
Blair Underwood
and then
Joe Steve Joe Steve yes yep I couldn't believe that she got to date Blair Underwood and then chose Steve.
Yes.
Yep.
Love is love, but Blair Underwood's Blair Underwood.
I mean.
I once saw him in person and fell out.
He looks good.
He looks so good.
And he was a doctor.
He was a doctor.
Yeah.
He was nice.
He liked her.
I mean, maybe they're doing that to show, like, how much she really loves Steve.
Like, she can't even take her mind off of him if there's this hot doctor in her life who genuinely loves her.
And wait, it was his sister who had the soul food restaurant, right?
Or is that a different storyline that's earlier um who yeah samantha was dating
samantha was dating a brother brother and your collard greens are not all that i loved it so
much so funny that's whack it would not fly now but it should because it's so funny it's funny and a
woman of a certain age would speak like that yeah you are not all that in a bag of potato chips
because you like didn't say anything bad no but it's just off-putting uh-huh oh god it is a show
among shows i love it so much i might actually actually restart it. Yeah. It's great.
I have to watch something else.
Like, simply have to.
I just keep restarting Sex and the City.
I have now watched the movie three times in the last week because when I put my clothes away, I'm like, I might as well just watch the movie.
I might as well pick up where I left off.
Yeah, the other day.
Oh, yeah.
I walked into your house and you were
like, don't look at the movie
on the screen. And I was like, oh.
Listen, I'm a creature
of habit. Yeah.
Well, this was fun.
This was so fun. My tummy's rumbling
and I gotta go get food. Well, let's do that.
See ya. See ya.
If you have any
questions or queries
You can
Email Nicole and Sasheer at gmail.com
Or call or text or leave a voice memo at 424-645-7003
We also have merch at podswag.com slash bestfriends
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Bye, Nicole! Bye, Saoirse!