Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Will Bring Her Make-Believe Child with Carl Tart & Lamar Woods
Episode Date: May 3, 2023It’s another episode of Besting Each Other! Nicole and Sasheer are joined by best friends Carl Tart (Grand Crew) and Lamar Woods (Single Parents). Carl shares about getting robbed in San Francisco, ...great memories in Hawaii, why Lamar’s genuineness is so meaningful to him, and Lamar’s annoying slow sipping. Lamar talks about a perfect night out in NY, why his phone always falls out of his pocket, and why the weather is the determining factor for Lamar winning Survivor. Together they discuss what they love about making their podcast XOXO, Gossip Kings together, as well as their future family bbqs!  Check out their podcast - XOXO, Gossip Kings - wherever you listen!  Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:424-645-7003nicoleandsasheer@gmail.com Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
oh so sheer hi hello hi nicole hi hello wait am i recording i am yeah
for a hot second i thought i wasn't't, and I said, Dios mio.
Oh, Dios mio. I'm glad you are still recording.
Me freaking too. How are you?
I'm good. I get to come back to LA soon, which is very exciting.
That is exciting. Come back to Los Angeles, California.
I haven't left. I've been here.
I missed the escape room.
There was a group escape room excursion that I missed and wanted to go to.
I'm sorry that you missed.
It was very fun.
Was it really fun?
Yeah.
We didn't realize it was like in the Glendale Galleria.
So I parked in this weird spot and the elevator was broken
and I didn't clock
there was another elevator
so then I went up four flights of stairs
slightly too fast
and then had some sort of coughing
or athlete's cough
that's what I call it
maybe it's asthma
I don't know
but I was coughing a lot
and then the room was a little hot
because I never cooled down.
And then I took Mano's water and I drank it all.
And then I helped with a clue that really broke the whole case open.
That's fun.
Yeah, I was pretty excited.
What was the theme?
It was like a Western and we were bank robbers and we had to get money.
And then you could ask for hints.
And it was this wonderful man named Thomas.
And I think it's called Escape the Room in the Glendale Gallery if you're in L.A. and want to do it.
But it's like very well done.
And you could be like, Thomas, we need a hint.
And then he won't give you a hint if you're close.
And then he'll give you a hint if you're like too far off.
And then we couldn't open a safe.
It was the hardest thing in the whole world.
And then a lady came in and opened the safe.
And then we finished the game seconds later.
So then we like opened the door and she was standing right there
because she had just left the room.
That's really funny.
To then open the door to be like, you finished.
Congrats.
And I thought I was going to be useless. finished congrats and i thought i was gonna be useless turns out
i was really helpful you saw the whole thing not the whole thing but a pivotal point yeah i did an
escape room with just one other person which was a mistake it should have been like a group but i
didn't know and it was really. And it was like space themed.
And I guess I understand an escape room,
but I didn't realize like anything could be a clue.
Like there were things that were like,
that was like this,
like the color of this pen matters to that.
Like it was just things I was like,
how does anyone ever get this stuff right?
This one was a little easier i feel like
because there was like letters that had clues and then there was like numbers on things in the room
that would open a lock and then the lock would open up something that had another clue on it
it was very fun yeah i was like maybe i'll become a detective i hope you do i hope you do but it's
funny because that's not how real world clues are gonna be it's not like there's a murder quick find
the letter that corresponds with the combination i mean if it's not then give me a refund on life um i want to be a private eye i think it'd be really
fun or like a crime solver um i think my phone heard me say like escape room and crime too many
times because my instagram algorithm kept showing me crime scene cleanups and i was like i don't
want to see that well that's actually wait yeah i don't like that
no because it wasn't like graphic but it'd be like it'd be like a dark spot on the floor and
they'd be like this grandma died and went right through the floorboards into the apartment below
and i was like i don't want to hear about that but isn't that wild that that shit happens you
could be sitting on your couch in your very own apartment and something will drip from the ceiling.
And then later you find out it's a grandma.
Oh, disgusting.
Should we play besting it?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
But I was also going to be like, why is someone making an Instagram account of this stuff?
That's crazy.
I think it's the company.
They're like, we'll clean up anything
oh like if you want us to clean up your stuff oh my god huh well great well what we're gonna clean
up is these questions yeah we have carl tart and lamar woods um They're two best friends. I know them. They both work
on Grand Crew. They also have a
podcast. It is a rewatch podcast
of Gossip Girl called
XOXO Gossip Kings.
And we're going to start with Carl.
We are going to start with Carl.
Yeah. Hi, Carl!
Oh, hi, guys.
Carl, you sound so different today. No it's uh it's me this microphone is
it's crazy man it does sound crazy carl first question how'd you meet lamar oh uh
imagine we then just repeated the whole thing for no reason.
Ooh,
we have,
wait,
should we say,
okay,
it's Carl Tartt.
Carl's a comedian and a performer.
From the schedule show party over here.
I'm writing for Mad TV and recording guest on Comedy Bang Bang. And he stars on NBC's sitcom Grand Crew with me, Nicole.
And we're playing ba-ba-ba-ba-besting each other.
Wow, that was great.
How do you rearrange the credits on IMDb?
Because the things that people say.
What would you like instead?
No, no, no.
This is fine.
It's fine now. I realized the other day when we were about to do the show that I don what do you what would you like instead no no this is fine it's fine now
i realized the other day when we were about to do the show that i don't have many more credits but
it's just so funny which ones are up front like people have said you've seen him on jimmy kimmel
lives like i did two five minute sketches okay right there was one credit that had an imdb that
i was not in it was like some short film and i was like i just wasn't in it and i
don't know how to get rid of this i'm gonna start saying that every time you do something you know
her from this yeah yeah and like it's you don't don't look there for me well you don't have to
go too far on your imdb i'm gonna do it better okay we have today car Tartt. You know him from Star Trek Lower Decks, Grand Crew, Dig Man, History of the World Part 2,
and Marvel's Wastelanders Wolverine.
Carl Tartt!
Hi.
We love that.
Is that better?
The first one was great, too.
You did say our show last, which I think is definitely my most important.
But this is perfect.
This is perfect.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to play the game.
Yes, we're excited to have you.
So this is kind of like the Newlyweds game before Best Friends.
So we're going to ask you some questions, and then we're going to send you away, bring Lamar in, ask him questions, and then compare the answers at the very end.
Okay.
You ready?
Yep.
First question.
Where did you two meet?
We met at, well, this is a tough one.
Let's just say we met at UCB because we actually met each other at the Second City, but we became friends at UCB.
Well, which do you
consider the proper meeting i think the one where you're like i want to be friends with this if we're
winning the game we're gonna say ucb if i'm trying to win the game okay where is it in a class or
no when we when when we form uh the group or probably in a jam or something like that
okay okay and do you remember a distinctive thing
about lamar that you're like ah shit this is for me uh lamar oh this is for me no nothing nothing
that i said this was for me but uh a nice guy yeah or just like you know like when you when
you clicked when you're like oh this i can hang with this guy more than just like knowing this person in the comedy scene.
Here's one.
He was the manager at the Madame Tussauds Wax Museum.
And my girlfriend at the time worked there.
And so we had heard about each other because he was doing comedy stuff.
And she would tell him that, oh, my boyfriend does comedy stuff.
And he'd be like, man, I don't know that.
Who is that?
I didn't ask yeah and i would
say the same thing about him when she'd be like my manager at work uh does comedy something i don't
care so this woman we've left by the wayside was trying to bring two brothers together
but fuck that lady no i'm kidding. She's probably a lovely lady.
She's all right.
No, she's a lovely lady.
Okay.
And I hope she's happy now.
What is your favorite memory of traveling together?
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
We've gone on so many trips and uh i think my favorite memory
would probably be like hawaii we went to hawaii that was a fun one or also like but all the
improv trips we've gone on we've had so much fun like just going to sketch fest has been fun driving
up the sketch fest was really fun didn't
y'all get robbed we did we did get robbed uh so san francisco is notoriously bad with car break-ins
and we had to check out of our hotel but we had a sunday night show we were gonna head back after
our show we're gonna head back to la and so we had all of our stuff in the car and uh we came out
and so we had all of our stuff in the car and uh we came out and the window was we all got in and started to drive and we were like man hey like turn down the ac and he was like you know acl
he was like why is it so cold in here and then we all turned around i was like
oh shit the back window's gone oh no oh no that's i don't mean to laugh but it's it's funny that nobody noticed
y'all were like it's just cold here was anything really valuable yeah we had lost like all of our
laptops and ipads and stuff yeah but we got thankful for the improv community ucb improv
community they banded together and did a benefit show for us. And we got,
we got everything back.
We got,
we got the electronics
and stuff back.
We,
we missed some clothes.
I had some pills in there
that I needed.
Some Percocets.
You know,
I was selling drugs at that time.
No,
no,
no.
It was some,
it was some Tylenol 3
because I was having toothaches.
Wait,
what happened in Hawaii that was so delightful? so delightful oh man we we went up the
road to hana and we went down and we wouldn't hug out in the triangle and it was just a fun trip
was me me lamar and phil and we had a good time so i'll i'll count that one as the best one he
may not say that it could be like we've gone to austin texas to perform in houston uh all right dallas san antonio everywhere in texas
no just texas now we've gone all over the place of course we used to go to dcm every year that
was always a blast when it was still in new york uh but yeah i'm gonna say hawaii hawaii trip
was the most fun it was just like a super relaxing super fun and we got to hike through the mountains
and or through the yeah it was dope up a volcano stuff like that i'll say that sounds nice okay what is your favorite
thing about your friend lamar uh my favorite thing about lamar is uh i would say he is probably
and this is no offense to anybody else who's a friend of mine including
you two this man okay is i will take offense well i'll say that i'll preface it like this this man
is the most genuine like dude like he there's no there's no put on about lamar and you can go to
him with anything and he can also like he's a vulnerable
he he leads with vulnerability and and I've always needed a male figure like that in my life you know
and I think it's important for dudes to have dude friends like that that we can and I think
honestly he makes me a better person because of how like he approaches life and stuff like that i take a lot a lot of cues
from him and you know we get into it about stuff randomly but like that's that's because that's my
brother so like uh i think his his genuineness is what i like most about him like the fact that i
could go to him with anything any problem anything he's got a solution or he at least gonna help me
talk through it or something like that he's real introspective dude and stuff like that so i think that just his genuineness damn i love
that yeah that like choked me up yeah i feel like very few people have that in their life like
someone who's so genuine and always there for them yeah oh that's nice beautiful he may not text back but he'll be there when you need him
for sure
some of you are
terrible with texting
yeah
he is one of them
some people really are
if the next question
is what the thing
I like least about him
is his phone
his phone communication
we will give
but the next question is
if you had to guess
what do you think
Lamar's favorite thing
is about you probably that i'm tall
what no i just he's like man oh man i love carl he's so tall i need a tall friend sometimes
i don't know i don't know i think uh i think i don't know it could be my it could be my uh
comedic ability he praises me a lot he's probably
like the biggest person in my corner when it comes to my abilities and stuff like that so maybe it's
that maybe he really respects my talent level uh and that's another thing about the the genuineness
of him too i really believe it when he says it like as opposed you don't believe it when i say
i believe when you say it too i do believe in what you say but i i really believe it when I say it? I believe it when you say it, too. I do believe it when you say it. But I really believe it when he says it.
And so I don't know.
I don't know what he would like about me most.
Maybe he might say the same thing about me.
I've been there for him a lot as well.
So maybe that.
I don't know.
I'll say those two things.
My comedic prowess and my level of friendship.
I love that.
Okay.
I like it too.
What is something that you, Carl Tartt, does that drives your friend Lamar crazy?
I argue.
I'm a know-it-all.
And Nicole, you know this about me as well.
I know a lot of stuff.
And I'm not going to...
Yeah, you're usually right.
When you say a know-it-all, I'm like, yeah, but you're usually right.
So it's like...
Because I'm not going to argue if I don't know something.
Like if it's something I don't know, I will gladly say I don't know.
But I try to know everything.
DJ Khaled one time said...
DJ Khaled was talking to Rick Ross one time
and they were trying to figure out how almond milk was made.
It is a very funny conversation.
You should look it up.
Oh my God.
And Rick Ross was like, is it the walnut of the nut that they squeeze the almond out of to get it in the milk?
And DJ Khaled goes, I don't have the answer and i usually have all the
answers oh and so i live by that mantra i don't have i don't if i don't know something i would
say i don't have the answer and i usually have all the answers but i think lamar is a very very
non-confrontational person uh very non-confrontational
and he will and he holds strong opinions sometimes that i don't agree with and i'm like hold on man
let's talk about this as two people who are best friends and who love each other let's talk about
this and he's like no no i don't want to talk about it i want to go and and that that sticks
in that sticks in my craw for sure.
I mean, I love that self-awareness.
My favorite DJ Khaled thing, real quick, is someone said, DJ Khaled, why don't you lose weight?
And he said, because I don't lose.
That's great.
I'm keeping up with you.
Very funny to me.
My favorite DJ Khaled thing is when he got lost at sea on his jet ski and he was live streaming the whole thing and kept being like we have to persevere they don't
want you out here and that's probably a good thing because you shouldn't be out here at night
tell zay z to call me yes yes he's like if you know my wife tell her to call me
he's very funny
okay now
you can say
what is something
that Lamar does
that drives you crazy
doesn't text back
in a timely manner
and
what's a timely manner
what's the longest
he's gone without texting
forever yeah
yeah sometimes he just won't give you a response yeah but like uh the thing is i've seen him do
this with other people like we'll be like out or something like that and you know like when you when
you get to a certain friendship level if you're out with your friend it doesn't matter if you pick
up your phone and are doing shit you know like y'all are there the hangout is almost like obligatory almost but i've seen him like look
at something and go i'll get back to it and i'm like don't respond to that like that's important
or like trying to book travel or something like that like he'll get it done or uh but but it'll
take like effort hey man i'm trying to book this did you get this yet
and i ain't looked into it yet i just was like just do it so that's that's definitely the thing
is like he he does it he moves on his own time but he'll probably he'll probably say texting
uh that's that's a big thing but he moves on his own time and sometimes i'm a person i can be a bit
of a of a control freak about certain things and uh that
is definitely like no man we need to we need to go now like let's let's speed this up let's do it
and and he well or he's the type of person that will leave the club at any moment but if we're
trying to like make it if we're trying to make another move like like let's say lamar has a drink and he's a he's a really
slow sipper but he's just like and we're like okay all right it's 11 it's 11 45 y'all so we
should probably get to this next spot before all right all right i'm ready and he's like slow
sipping it and we're like lamar let's go like all right all right don't don't rush me i don't like
to be rushed okay all right fair enough you don't like to be rushed. Okay. All right. Fair enough.
You don't like to be rushed.
Yeah.
But then we get to the other spot and we get it in.
He's like,
all right,
y'all,
I'm gonna hit the crib.
And he just bolts.
And it's like,
you leaving?
Like,
we just getting like,
what you mean you leaving?
Like we waited for you to come over here and now you're just going to leave us?
Like,
yeah,
man.
Yeah,
man.
I'm tired.
Gotta,
gotta go home.
So he doesn't,
he doesn't Irish goodbye, but he definitely, he gets damn close to it.
It's very much like, I'm not finna, I'm finna say bye and I'm out.
Don't try to get me to stop.
Don't try to, like, when he's out, he's out.
That's so funny to travel to the next location and be like, no.
Yeah, and he made you wait to make moves.
no yeah he made you wait yeah to make moves that reminds me of uh a clip that i saw with lamar in grand crew where he's like saying hi to everybody he's like the friend from like years
past and he's like dapping everyone out everyone has like cute little sayings and stuff and then
he gets a text and he's like oh the babysitter's canceled or something like that yeah gotta go
and he has to say bye to everybody in the sleeves and i was like damn yeah there's a friendship in your adulthood
yeah for sure it really is because when i was younger i'd stay any old place
the older i get the more i'm like gotta leave gotta go sorry bye i'm still hanging on i'm
still hanging on i'm 30 i'm 34 and i'm still nah, I'm going to kick it as long as I can go.
Yeah.
Because I don't need shit.
I love being out.
I love being out.
I love being out.
I mean, what is this?
What is this?
What I'm looking at?
This is a plant.
You got nice plants.
I got a plant.
I got some.
I see a book.
I got my Oculus controller right here.
That looks fun.
That looks fun.
You could go to another world right in your house
i got the virgil book y'all got me for my birthday on set
but uh yeah also the non-confrontational thing when a person like me who like needs you to know
that what i'm saying is not to attack but to prove a point and you're like no i don't want to hear it
like that definitely it's like having an internet
conversation but yes yeah yeah yeah yeah okay which one of you would do better on the television
series survivor oh i think i would why because lam would be like, gotta get out of this.
Gotta get out of this forest.
Too many mosquitoes.
I don't know.
Lamar might eat the wrong thing and have some gut issues
or something like that.
He gotta get out of there.
I'm built for it, too.
Yeah.
Got an ironclad gut.
Yeah.
I just, the thought of Survivor is bad.
And I do think, Carl, I think you would, I think you'd win Survivor.
I'd probably win it, but I'd be complaining the whole time.
Oh, my God.
I would not shut up.
I would not shut up.
And I'm going to be mad at everybody for everything.
I will not shut up.
And I'm going to be mad at everybody for everything.
And lastly,
what do you hope that you're both doing 20 years from now?
I hope that we are 20 years from now.
I hope that we are two Academy award winning and Emmy award winning film and television makers who are living it up with our families at a at a barbecue at one of our big mansions
with each of our with each of our kids running around and and uh like you know like family like
family style shit and i think that i hope that for my whole big group of friends that like in 20 years, we're just all super rich.
And we have big gatherings at our at our mansions.
And our kids are friends with each other.
I'm into that.
That's nice.
I'll bring my imaginary kid.
He'll be kind to all the kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, y'all.
I'll find somebody else to get and bring.
Don't mention nicole's
imaginary kid just act like it's another kid but dad why do we have to shut up and do what i said
you have one of those like dog leashes that are just like hovering in the air
that doesn't have anything in it it's like for your child it's like a backpack leash
and everyone's like nicole's okay she just didn't want
a kid and doesn't want to be left out he's badly behaved so i have to keep him on this
yeah you keep like jerking yourself and there's nothing there
okay well those are all of the questions that we have for you carl so we're gonna send you away okay get out of here all right then
we're gonna interview lamar and then we're gonna bring you back and decide if your friendship is
real all right sounds good I wanted to clap.
I was ready.
You can clap if you want.
You can clap.
Let's clap.
One, two, three.
I got to practice, get good at this.
I know.
Of course it's good when there's no,
when we don't need it.
Yes.
And now we have Lamar Woods, who is a writer and performer who's appeared on New Girl,
Single Parents, Superstore, Big City Grease, and Boop-a-da-boo, Grand Crew.
What's up?
What's up?
What's up?
How are you?
I'm so good.
I'm chilling.
How y'all doing?
Good.
Glad to have you.
We're very glad to have you.
We're going to test your friendship with Carl Tart to see if y'all are actually best friends.
I know.
I'm kind of nervous.
I was nervous.
You should.
I was like, what if this ruins our friendship?
That's that risk.
Honestly, it might. That's that risk. it might
just put on the table
is your friendship.
You're not allowed to be friends
if you guys don't pass the test.
Yeah.
If you fail,
we don't let you hang out anymore.
Well,
we are supposed to go to the movies
after this,
so I'll need to know.
If you fail,
I will come by one of your homes
and lock you in.
No,
but I have to see air but I have to see air.
I have to see air.
We'll send you to different theaters.
Yeah, yeah.
You're going to see Super Mario Brothers and enjoy it.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I'm ready to go, whatever.
I'm ready.
Let's do it.
Okay.
First question.
How did you meet Carl?
Okay, so Carl has, there's two different versions.
For me, I have a version of this,
but Carl thinks we met at Second City
before there was like a screening
and it was like a sketch screening
that I played one of my internet sketches
and he was in the audience,
but I don't remember meeting him there.
So I feel like the first time I met him was, uh,
on the,
we did an indie show,
um,
at the clubhouse and,
and it was like a mashup team.
He was on a team.
And I remember being back on the back line,
like,
who's that guy?
He's funny.
And then that's how,
that's what I remember.
Uh,
you see,
y'all can't give me,
I feel like if I get this wrong,
I mean, we will give you no hints. Yeah're not like the stone face like you guys are like
interesting okay okay but yeah so i so carl always brings that one up but i i think that's
the first time we talked like interacted like that's what i think okay good okay all right
i'm glad that settled. All right.
Next question is, what is your favorite memory of traveling with Carl?
Probably Hawaii.
We went to Hawaii.
We went to, it was me, him, and Phil.
And then we went to this restaurant called, I can't remember the name of it, but it was really famous.
It was like fishing.
It was like big fish Dynamite or something.
And I remember that being a really good time.
It was such a good restaurant.
And it was just like, it felt like peak friendship right there.
Aww.
That's nice.
Did you order a fish?
What are you?
I'm not going to cry.
Y'all make me cry.
Do you remember what you ordered at Big Fish Dynamite?
No, I maybe crab.
I definitely remember the crab cake.
We had that.
We shared it because I remember that being like what they were known for.
And then I feel like I had steak knowing me.
I probably wanted steak.
But I don't know.
I can't remember at all.
Is that the only traveling that you remember?
I mean, we've traveled a lot of places.
So we went to see Eggo at SNL.
That was a very fun trip.
I remember we had a great time.
We went to New York.
And it was like in the winter for Christmas.
It was at Eddie Murphy was hosting. Oh, wow. And I remember the reason I feel like it was a good memory because it was
one of those like New York nights where like every everyone we were like up all night everybody was
partying and then even me after we left me and Carl was still up partying and we just kept we
just were walking around doing this bit at different basketball courts and in the city just being like we just kept trying to shoot like do like a old like a above the rib type
reenactment and it was had to be like four in the morning there was like nobody out and it felt like
we were like like like two like Brooklyn kids but I remember I'll never forget that that was really
fun that's what I that's what I realized I was like I'm gonna be friends with this person for
the rest of my life, probably.
Oh, I love that.
All right.
Next question is, what is your favorite thing about Carl?
My favorite thing about Carl is that he's very knowledgeable about things.
He has a lot of knowledge about a lot of things.
It could be music.
He has really extensive knowledge. He's kind of like a music library so if i ever want to be like what sample is this he'll
like know this know the song it came from and um or if i'm like what what gang runs this neighborhood
he'll like know that it's like it's got he's got like all the uh all the information I need. He's like my own kind of Google, uh, engine. Yes.
Mm.
Yeah.
Interesting stuff.
Yes.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's a good answer.
Um,
okay.
What is Carl's favorite thing about you?
I don't know.
What does anyone like about me?
Um,
maybe,
uh, that I'm like, um, nothing bothers me. I'm pretty like, I don't really have does anyone like about um maybe uh that i'm like um nothing bothers me i'm pretty
like i don't really have a lot of patience i guess i don't know yeah i'm like i can kind of like
i don't really get like uh rattled by too much you know but i don't know it's a tough one i mean i
know what i like about me i don't care what he likes about me i care what i like about me. I don't care what he likes about me. I care what I like about me.
That's what my therapist says.
My therapist says, you know, you should be, you should have your own code of ethics.
Well, what do you like about you?
Yeah.
That I'm really patient.
I like that I'm patient.
And then I like that I'm a very empathetic person.
But, yeah. That's what I like so far. But I'm a very empathetic person.
But, yeah, that's what I like so far.
Yeah.
I like that. Those are good things to like about yourself.
Okay, Lamar.
What is something that you, Lamar, does that drives Carl crazy?
Oh, okay.
Probably because I wear sweatpants a lot,
so my wallet and my phone my wallet
and my phone come falls out of my pockets all the time and i always i always leave uh so i always
i'll always leave a bar or something and he'll be like your wallet's on the floor i'm like
oh my god that's dangerous that is yeah i just gotta we gotta get you like a fanny pack or
something yeah i need something like that because I don't like jeans.
I'm not.
I don't like wearing jeans.
And then I like sweatpants.
It's just what I like.
And then.
But I just I also don't really care about my phone.
I'm just not a phone person.
So that's probably the other thing I know.
Well, I used to.
I feel like maybe not as much anymore, but maybe that I'm just a bad texter, too.
But I'm just not like I just don't have the attachment to my phone.
Yeah.
That must be nice.
But your wallet.
You need to have an attachment to your wallet.
I don't like that either.
I just want to be free.
I just got this Apple Pay.
This shit is kind of dope.
I've been doing that.
I'm like, if I can figure out.
But don't you need your phone for that?
You do need your phone for that.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Like, you don't have to have your wallet, but you need to have your phone.
We're all sheep.
We're just sheep.
It's true.
They trapped us.
All right.
What is something that Carl does that drives you crazy?
He's always on his phone.
Oh.
I don't know if he knows that one.
But I think he thinks that he can hear everything still,
but I still be like, you know, are you listening to me?
Yeah, it's not active listening.
Yeah, I don't know.
You know, I feel like that might be one he'll have something to say about.
But we don't need to bring that answer up.
Oh, we will.
We will.
Because this is what friendship is made out of.
Okay, which one of you would do better on the cbs television series currently in its 97th
season survivor oh carl for sure yeah why i don't know he's just more uh um he's he's a survivor
i'm not a survivor i i'm a i'm a failure i'm just kidding i just. I'm just kidding. I don't know.
I mean, I've never seen that show.
I've never seen it.
I don't really know.
It just seems like you have to be kind of like, you have to really be on your shit.
Like, you got to, like, take no prisoners.
I think I'm just too nice.
Maybe I might be.
I might, like, trust the wrong people.
Like, Carl's a good, he's good at, like, figuring out who, people he shouldn't be around.
Or, like, working, like, you know or teaming up with the right people or whatever.
I feel like he'd be good at that where I feel like I might trust the wrong person and then they betray me later.
I'm assuming that's how that show works.
Yeah, it's like alliances and stuff.
I think so, yeah.
Yeah, and I don't like being – I'm pretty – I get cold really easily. So I don't like a... I'm pretty like... I get cold really easily.
I don't like a lot of changing weather.
It would have to be a survivor in Maui or something.
Like Santa Monica.
Survivor in Santa Monica.
I could do that, yeah.
God, that's really funny.
We unleashed you
on the Santaanta monica pier
and some people might not i know it might be a little that might be difficult yeah
okay last question what do you hope you and carl are both doing 20 years from now
um i hope we're both um like we're having like holiday we have like really big families like we both have a
shit ton of kids and we're having like holiday dinners like cooking holiday dinners at each
other's like mansion or something or something like cool like that and uh we're and there's
like a band and there's like a base one of us has whoever's house we're doing it at or both of us
has a we have a big studio like a music studio in the basement and then after dinner we all like
with the kids and everything we just do like a big music jam and then we do it every year or
something like that that'd be wow that's very cool nice yeah i just thought of that all right
i guess that's what i want i guess i worked i like that okay great i like that. Okay, great. I like that. Now I'm going to bring Carl back, compare your answers, and see if you two really are friends.
Friends.
This is so crazy.
I had no idea this was what it was going to be.
I was just going to be like, so what did y'all do this weekend?
No, we are testing you.
We don't care.
We want to know if you're friends.
Okay.
Carl.
Lamar.
I'm going to ask both of you a question.
Currently, what is your favorite thing about making your podcast XOXO Gossip Kings together?
Oh, my favorite thing is when we do it and then we start singing on the pod.
Singing?
We end up singing. I feel like every episode we sing some song that comes up,
even though it has nothing to do with the show usually.
That's fun.
A lot of lines of dialogue made me think of lyrics.
And I will just start singing songs and stuff.
That's fun.
All the nicknames and stuff that we come up with for the characters
and just honestly just discussing this dumbass show with my friend.
I like, too, when we have a relationship to the
show is purely for the podcast but sometimes we'll be having a sincere conversation just about our
life and then i'll like like subcut like like a 40 and slip and like like actually you reference
gossip girl as a like as like it's like yeah it's kind of like when serena did this you know and
it's like it's like it's like actually influencing our actual friendship, which is weird.
That's why I might actually represent Serena in our like real dialogue.
Yeah.
Not being recorded.
Were you guys actually fans of the show when it came out?
No, no, I didn't.
I never saw you're all watching it fresh for the first time.
I saw it the first time during a pandemic because I just watched everything.
But but yeah, so this is my second time.
But this is my first time watching it.
Amazing.
How many seasons are there?
Either five or six.
I think it might be six.
It might be six in the season.
It's long and it's taken a long time.
And every time I,
it does become a,
what's funny is like,
I have to probably watch two,
we got to do two tomorrow.
And we starting early.
So after we go see this movie,
I'm going to have to come home
and watch at least two episodes.
I might watch,
I might watch one tonight
and one in the morning.
But it is,
it's becoming a task.
But then I start watching them and I'm like, oh, wait, hold on, wait.
You start getting into it.
Yeah.
That's very funny.
Yeah.
So funny.
Okay.
So we tested your friendship.
And the first question was, how did you two meet?
and the first question was, how did you two meet?
Carl said that the official answer is that
Carl met Lamar at UCB,
but to win the game of friendship,
wait, yeah, no, to win the game of friendship,
Carl sang UCB, but technically they met at Second City.
And then Lamar says,
Carl thinks we met at Second City at a screening,
but Lamar doesn't remember. But Lamar remembers
meeting Carl at an indie show
at the clubhouse, thinking Carl's very
funny. At a jam. That's what I said.
Okay, so yeah. But it was a UCB
affiliated show.
I think that checks out.
I remember that meeting. I just
don't remember the interaction
we had at the screening. We didn't
kick it or nothing.
We just said, what's up? Because you knew Shoni,
a mutual friend of ours. And Shoni was like,
oh, this is Lamar. I was like, yo, man, that
shit was funny. And that was kind of all
we had. I do remember that.
I was like, yo, what's up with this cat, Shoni?
He always introduces me to people.
No, no, I remember that.
I actually do remember that. That's great.
I don't know if you do.
It seems like you're just being nice. No, I do remember that. That's great. I don't know if you do. Yeah.
Seems like you're just being nice.
And I do remember.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Whatever.
I feel like we did pretty good on that answer.
Honestly.
You did.
I think you did.
Yes.
Yeah.
Let's see.
But this next one, we asked both of you what your favorite memory of traveling together
was. Carl said going memory of traveling together was.
Carl said going to Hawaii.
Oh, wow.
You also had many improv trips together.
You went to Sketch Fest.
You guys got robbed.
All your stuff got taken out of the car, which is not a favorite memory, but a very memorable one.
And then, yeah, going to Hawaii.
You did the road to hannah had a great time
hiked up a volcano and then lamar also said hawaii
y'all didn't give me nothing i knew i got that shit right but i was like
looking at me when they look carl they're looking at you like stone face like yeah
i feel like man am i am i saying something weird? They're looking at me like this.
We didn't, like, give anything away.
Yeah.
But, yes, you did match up.
Lamar was mostly food-focused on this memory.
He said you went to a restaurant called Big Fish Dynamite.
It was a really good time.
You had the crab cake.
And you ordered steak.
Do you remember the name of that restaurant?
The one that was out on the beach? The one that was
on the water? I don't remember what that one was called.
But it was one that everybody was telling us to
go to. Yeah, it was like Big
Fish Hawaii or something.
Big Fish Hawaii restaurant.
Based on the movie with
Ewan McGregor, Big Fishgregor wow what a deep cut i haven't thought about that movie in years
oh lamar also mentioned the trip to new york to go see ego
at snl and oh yeah you guys were joking around the basketball courts
at four in the morning yeah and he said, that's the moment he was like, I'm going to be friends with this guy forever.
Yes, that was a fun time.
I didn't even think about that because we've gone so many places.
So, yeah, we were doing this bit.
Every time we go to New York, because anytime you watch like a documentary about like a New York basketball player or something,
they're always just like walking through the streets being like, this is where it all started right here.
Right here.
We used to be out here
in the snow.
We used to be out here
in the snow,
you know what I'm saying?
Just shooting shots.
We got it right here.
This is where it all started,
right here.
My moms used to call me
from the balcony,
you know,
to get inside.
You know what I'm saying?
But I had to play ball all night.
You know,
street lights wouldn't come on.
You know,
local drug dealers
used to turn the car lights on
so I could shoot
and they knew
I was going go make it.
After like,
like an insane
night of like
meeting Eddie Murphy
and all,
not meeting Eddie Murphy,
but meeting all
these celebrities
and stuff at SNL
and then just
the end of the night
that way was like
really cool.
Yeah.
After we left
the after hours spot,
after we had,
we went to the
after hours with
Chris Redd
and Che
and Jay Pharoah and them. Sam Jay and sam jay sam jay yeah that was a
good time and then we just like we're walking i think trying to get food but going back to our
hotel and we realized like oh we don't need an uber because it's kind of close to here or something
like that and we just were on this basketball court like five in the morning that's very funny
um that is funny.
I did like the drug dealers
kept the lights on
so I could keep playing.
We asked,
what is your favorite thing
about your friend?
Carl said,
Carl's favorite thing about Lamar
is probably that Lamar
is the most genuine person he knows.
Lamar leads with vulnerability
in a way that Carl admires
and Lamar makes Carl
a better person
by how Lamar approaches
life. Lamar will help Carl through
anything. Carl loves
Lamar's genuineness.
Lamar may not text back, but
he's there when you need him.
Nice.
We about to win this shit, y'all.
Lamar said his favorite thing
about Carl
is how knowledgeable
Carl is
Carl knows music
really well
and Carl
is his own
Google
I'm my own Google
I feel like
yours is so much
more sincere than mine
no that's good
it was so sincere
I accept that
oh my god
I accept you both said very sincere. It was sincere. I accept that. Oh my God. I accept somebody
very sincere stuff
about each other.
Yeah.
I accept,
uh,
finally somebody
respecting my intelligence.
Yeah.
And then we asked,
what is your favorite,
what is your friend's
favorite thing about you?
Carl said,
uh,
that he thinks Lamar
loves that Carl's tall.
And then he said that Lamar compliments Carl's comedic ability and prowess, which is a good vocabulary word for today.
Very good word.
And Carl has also been there for Lamar as well.
And then Lamar said that Carl likes that Lamar is laid back,
isn't rattled by too much.
Lamar knows what he likes about himself,
and that's what matters.
And also Lamar likes that Lamar is patient and is empathetic.
I just started saying what I like about Lamar.
He's trying to say what he likes about himself.
Then we asked,
what's something you do that drives your friend crazy?
Carl said,
Carl thinks Lamar gets bothered that Carl argues
and that Carl's a know-it-all.
Lamar is non-confrontational,
so they bump heads about that sometimes.
And then Lamar says, I think it's because Lamar wears sweatpants a lot,
so his wallet and his phone fall out of his pockets.
His phone and wallet are often on the floor, and Lamar doesn't realize it.
But Lamar loves sweatpants.
Also, Lamar's not a phone person.
So also maybe it's that Lamar's a bad texter.
Lamar does not have an attachment to his phone.
He does not.
He does not have an attachment to his phone.
That, I didn't even think about that.
That shit is frustrating.
We'll just be sitting.
You know how those, you know how those bitches are at Covail?
And Lamar will be doing his thing.
He'll be like, all right, y'all, I'm about to hit the crib.
And I'll be like, you're not going to look down?
All your shit is right here.
Because then, you know, here's how, this is why it bothers me now. Because there's been so many times where I've been like, all right, Lamar. All your shit is right here. Because then, it'll,
here's how,
this is why it bothers me now because there's been so many times
where I've been like,
all right,
Lamar,
we got to get over here
to do this thing.
I can't find my keys.
I left my phone at Uber.
I know.
It's always,
it's always perfectly
on the floor too.
It's like,
like it's like,
it's just like,
it's like my entire life
is just sitting on the floor
of this bar.
Yeah.
There are sweatpants that have zippers on pockets.
Yeah.
You don't like those sweatpants.
Yeah.
We'll figure it out.
He's like, I'm not going to change a thing.
Yeah, yeah.
I am who I am.
You could get them tailored to put Velcro in the pockets and then Velcro the pocket.
Yeah.
That could be dope.
That reminds me.
I got to watch Love is Blind lot reunions as soon as we finish.
Well, damn, we got to go to the movies.
Wait, why did that remind you of that?
Yeah, why did Velcro remind you of Love is Blind?
Oh, because, are y'all watching it or not?
Not yet.
No, not yet.
But I'm going to watch this season.
This one's a spoiling thing.
But one of the guys, he's a fashion designer and like he was so great he was so pissed because they didn't tailor his pants
right and he it was like he turned into like a bridezilla but it was so funny because he's like
my pants ain't fit right and he was like and he made him like he's like he made him go get a tailor
and everything like delayed the wedding it was it was actually awesome but he delayed the wedding
because his pants were fit right yeah i mean that's supposed to be his wedding. It was actually awesome. He delayed the wedding because his pants were fit right?
I mean, that's supposed to be his wedding.
It was cool to see.
You can see dudes
do that. I was like, this is cool.
Anyway.
Then we asked, what's something your friend
does that drives you crazy?
Carl said that Lamar doesn't text
back in a timely manner.
Carl has seen Lamar read and put
down his phone without responding i know i mean i'll like look at it and be like all right say
that for later but generally he says that lamar just moves on his own time and then lamar said
that uh carl is always on his phone.
It's literally like, we're just like the thing we see, the thing we don't like have in each other.
It's like, oh yeah, so that makes sense.
You're like two magnets on the opposite side, like propelling each other as far as phones go.
I see how bad I am.
Because I'm with him, I see see the flaw how i approach my phone and i have and i have said because i've been criticized by being on my phone i will fully
openly admit to being addicted to my phone and it's almost like unconscious where you'll just
look at something but there is no person and lamar i'm sure you can agree with there's no person
at least when i be on my phone i still be listening and engaged i hear everything if he if he completely checks out and just drowns into his phone like he don't and i know he's not
here to defend himself well you yeah if he's not here yeah if he's not here i admit i admit i admit
i i'd be looking at my phone that tiktok TikTok scrolling, that TikTok scrolling starts to get you and you'd be like, oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
People love TikTok and I cannot get into it.
Which is probably for the best.
Yeah, it's for the best.
I empathize with that.
I got addicted to TikTok crazy, like so fast.
And not even being someone who's like always on social media.
But I just had to delete it immediately because it just, it got me very fast. And not even being someone who's like always on social media. But I just had to delete it immediately because it just it got me very fast.
It is the perfect example of the algorithm working for you because the videos on my phone I see are all things that I like to look at.
We asked, which of you would do better on the television show Survivor?
Carl said I would.
Carl said Carl would.
Lamar would want to get out or lamar
might eat the wrong thing carl said he is built for tough lamar said carl for sure
i'm built like a tesla
smooth and quiet you don't even have a spare tire Lamar isn't a survivor
Lamar thinks Lamar
is just too nice
and Carl is good
at figuring out
who people are
and who he shouldn't
be around
and who's worth
teaming up with
okay
so you both agreed
yeah
yeah yeah
yeah Carl would do better
for sure
I told him that I would
I would do it
but I would be complaining
the whole time
oh yeah yeah
be like well we gotta be outside I would be complaining the whole time. Oh, yeah, yeah. We're like, well, we got to be outside.
It's the whole premise.
Yeah, yeah.
And then lastly, we asked, what do you hope that you're both doing 20 years from now?
Carl says that he hopes that you both are Academy Award winning, Emmy Award winning creators creators living it up with your families at a barbecue
carl really wow
carl wants to be super rich and have big parties at mansions and with their uh kids
and friends with each other and then lamar said hopes that they are both both have really big families doing
holiday dinners at each other's mansions and who at whoever's house we are celebrating with
has a big music studio in the basement and everyone goes and does a big jam music jam at
the end of the night that's tight yeah with the kids too like yeah we both like we made all our
kids be like a part of the band but yeah, I said cooking barbecue with a big family
That's crazy that you said that too
Yeah, so I guess that worked out
I was so nervous
I was like, what if we don't really know
You guys are friends
Yeah, we believe you, you're friends
You passed
We can still go to the movies now
You can still go to the movies
Hell, we couldn't go We can still go to the movies now You can still go see Air
Hell, we couldn't go
And we will let you go see that movie
Bye boys
Bye
Thank you for having us
Thank you for doing it
And thank you for playing
Best in Everybody
That was really fun.