Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole's Dogs Are Grateful They Don't Have to Depend on Her with Jonathan Van Ness and Antoni Porowski

Episode Date: May 13, 2020

After learning about the sound effects athletes get to choose for themselves, Nicole and Sasheer talk about teachers coming to students' windows during quarantine, videos of soldiers returning home to see their dogs who thought they were gone forever, and other heartwarming stories. Then, for another Besting Each Other, Nicole and Sasheer welcome Jonathan Van Ness and Antoni Porowski from Queer Eye! Antoni talks about meeting JVN at Queer Eye auditions, JVN's singing voice in the morning, and how he wants to live on a farm. JVN has a slightly different story about meeting Antoni at Queer Eye auditions, gives HIS thoughts on his own singing voice, and does not escape talking gymnastics. Finally, Nicole wraps everything up by determining JVN and Ant may continue being friends. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

blue blue blue blue blue blue blue welcome to best friends you know we have a theme song that does play we don't have to sing ourselves in yeah we do we do have a theme song most podcasts have theme songs much like television shows good yes what other things have theme songs what else has a theme song a commercial

I guess that's a jingle. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's it. Yeah, that's it. Podcast. Actually, I learned that, uh, well, I don't know if it's in real life, but in NBA 2K, which my man is playing right now, he can pick songs for certain things.

Like there's an intro song for when he comes out to the floor and then there's a, like a, uh, a noise that can happen when he like dunks on somebody or a tune that can happen when he like steals something. And I assume that that can happen in real life, but also I have no idea.

This is a game. So I don't know if the players get the freedom to choose their own songs that play but probably i feel like they all get one song that plays on a loop when they all come out it's like and here comes michael j Yeah. Have you been watching that? The NBA? The Chicago Bulls documentary? I am trying to find the headspace to take in this new information. Okay. Does something happen to you in the 90s that you can't, you don't want to be brought back to? Or? Yeah. You know how my whole family lives in Chicago, right? Yes. Well, I got to meet Michael Jordan and he balled me up like a basketball and bounced me around.

And I wasn't wearing a helmet or anything. Oh, my gosh. So I sustained a little bit of damage to my arms and my neck. Oh, no. So I don't want to relive that painful experience. No, I'm kidding. I have like a weird thing where I have limited headspace for new information when it comes to TV shows. Okay. Like you're watching too many and you don't want to start confusing them? Rewatching things is a point of comfort and watching new things it doesn't give me anxiety

but i i don't want to do it i don't want to watch new things it's strange it's i've discovered this in quarantine yeah well then take your time it'll be there thank you is it on netflix i think we've been watching it through the nba app or something like that or no and espn i don't know okay i just let him handle it but yeah i think it's the espn app what does espn stand for e entertainmentPN. No, no, no, no, no. E, entertain. S, sports. E, SP, players. N, network. Maybe P is production?

I don't know what the P is for. E, entertainment. But I believe the S is for sports. Yeah. Wait, give me all the Keys, what does ESPN stand for? Program? Oh Entertainment Sports Program Network Oh Kimmy on the Keys, give us a thumbs up

That's what it means Oh, alright You know, I really like that we learn new things constantly. We do no research before we start recording. We go straight into it. No. What the fuck is the point? Yeah. I just I like it. I like learning in real time because it's like school.

Life is school. Except we're teaching ourselves. It's not like there's a teacher. Well, that's like children now in quarantine they're teaching themselves boy i'm so glad i don't have kids right now i also am very glad i am glad every day that i don't have kids this is before quarantine right but yeah all those uh parents having to teach their kids. I mean, God bless you. Like that's, I hope everyone's staying sane and it'll be, we'll be out of it eventually. We will. That's the spirit, Sashir. We'll be out of this eventually.

But sometimes, I've seen some videos that are nice where it's like there's some teachers came to some kids like window and taught them a lesson or answered a question or something like that or or they're just like zooming together and that seems nice well now i know this information somebody out there please find these videos and make me a compilation with come to my window underneath. Yeah. Wouldn't that be funny? That would be funny. Yeah. Have you ever seen those compilations of soldiers seeing their dogs

for the first time in a long time? I have. They're very heartwarming. They're so heartwarming. They're so heartwarming. They're nice. Mm-hmm. Because the dog's like, this person's gone for the rest of my life. I've now adapted, and I'm friends with the other human in the house.

And they're like, my human's back. Woo-woo-woo-woo. They lose it. Ruff, ruff. I feel like every time John Milhiser, my roommate John Milhiser, goes for a run, my dogs are like, he's dead. He's gone. And they mourn him. Every time he leaves, they sit at the door and they're like, well, he was so kind.

I guess this lady, this other lady who lives here who never walks us or feeds us, I guess she'll start doing that. And then he comes back and they're like, thank God we didn't have to depend on her oh thank god they're so excited it must be so confusing for dogs when you're they're like but but where are they going what what are they what could they what could be happening out there are they they've been gone longer than a pee i come back right after. Yeah, let's get inside a dog's head. How do we do that? I don't know. Sometimes I'll see these things where it's like a dog,

when they sit on the couch with you and watch TV, they're not watching TV because they can't see the screen. They're doing it because they're pretending to be like you or something like that and i'm like how do you fucking know like who told you this did a dog tell you this where are you getting this research from truly dogs are like robots then you know that thing where it's like how many buses do you see in these squares oh yes oh the human stuff yeah dogs look at humans and they're like i'll do what this human does so we've discovered dogs are robots we've figured it out robots that are sent here to capture all of our behavior and make us clean up their shit. I mean, dogs got it figured out.

They don't even clean up their own shit. We pick it up or they just eat it. Yes. Yeah. That's why I don't let my dogs lick my face or my mouth. Yeah. Because they'd be in that ass. In their own ass.

Yeah. You once had a dog. Did you let that dog lick your face? I don't think so. No. That's not something we did, because, I don't know. We could express love in different ways. I don't need this dog licking my face.

Imagine if we started licking dogs. Do you think they'd be mad? I think they'd be confused. It would hurt us more than them because we get hair in our mouth. Mm. Mm-hmm. They'll be spitting up hairballs like cats, and then the dogs will be like, oh, yuck, I live with a big cat.

Oh, man. They'd be so confused. My man wants a cat. Oh. I don't know how I feel about it. What kind? I don't even know. I don't know what kinds of cats there are.

There's the evil kind. There's jellicle cats. I don't think that's a real thing. Those are real cats. Mm-hmm. According to cats. Yeah. But I would really love to come to your home and walk in and see a cat just on just two legs being like, I'm a Jellicle cat.

I belong to Sashir and her man. We have the Jennifer Hudson cat. I rewatch cats and I maintain Jennifer Hudson's performance in Cats is better than her performance in Dreamgirls. And she deserves an Oscar nomination for her performance as Grizbella or Grizabella I mean she takes us on a fucking journey

okay she is an alley cat slash sex worker who's down on her luck she's kind of scraggly because sometimes sex workers aren't treated very nicely she is ostracized by the other cats and we feel it and then when she sings memory reprise you just feel all of her burdens lift up off of her and then she gets to go to the heavy side layer

which is heaven yeah because she died and she's going to come back down and for one of her nine lives. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that is quite the journey. I don't know if the Oscars were looking at that movie. Honestly,

I really hope they, I'm going to write a letter to Oscar and I'm going to say, excuse me, Oscar. I think Jennifer needs one of y'all. Okay. Well we have guests. Should we talk about them? Oh, yeah, let's talk about them.

So Netflix has a cute, quaint indie show called Queer Eye. And we have two people from Queer Eye. We have JVN, Jonathan Van Ness, and Anthony Porowski. All right. Now let's open the door. And there they are. In their own home. And this section of our podcast is called Best Friends Come On and We Talk To Them.

No, you got it, girl. You know what it is. Besting it. Besting each other. I said that so confidently I thought I was right. Oh, boy. Do you want to introduce our guests today? I'm very excited to have them here. Yes.

This guest is so funny. Apparently we crossed paths at UCB years ago and currently stuck in Austin due to quarantine situations. You know him from Queer Eye. Please go for Antony. Antony, Antony, Ant Eye. Please give it up for Antony! Antony, Antony, Antony! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was so beautiful. Thank you. We're so excited to have you here.

Okay, and... I'm excited to be here. We're going to be joined by your best friend JVN, Jonathan Van Ness, later, but we have questions for you. Okay. Okay. So here is my first question. How did you two meet? So it was during the audition process for Queer Eye and we were in like some kind of like a hotel, you know, those really sad conference rooms where like the carpeting is stinky and like you have those metal, thin metal

chairs that like fall apart when you sit on them weird. And it was just a shit ton of us sitting in a room, like going through like the motions of chemistry testing testing and the first time i saw him i saw him he was in the corner of the room and he was like kind of frazzled and then he like sped walked across the room yelling where is she where is she where is she and he left the room and i remember asking one of the casting associates i was like who is he looking for and and ali the casting uh casting director um looked at me and he was like oh he's looking for his starbucks he left his starbucks cup somewhere and so i thought he was looking for a human but he was just anthropomorphizing, his beverage. And that was the first time we met.

Gotta find her. I love it. Where is she? Where is she? That's so funny. Um, okay. So the next question is, what is your favorite memory from traveling together? Um, favorite memory from traveling together. I would say, Oh gosh gosh so many i mean we've literally been i think the most entertaining by far was when we were filming uh queer eye we're in japan and it was our first it was our first or it was our first day and it was the afternoon and the time changes like what

is it 18 hours or something or 14 anyway it's it's something crazy and I remember we were all sitting in the car and we were about to start rolling and then I remember just kind of looking over at Jonathan and he was full cross-eyed I looked over at Tan and full cross-eyed we were so delirious and we were like falling asleep and we like we couldn't form full sentences at all it's like we were all drunk on something um and i just remember just like the delirium of it and it was like we got to get our shit together we have like a show to film um and i just remember like we laughed hysterically at absolutely nothing and then like 10 minutes later i I cried about something. And it wasn't even worth crying over. I was just very emotional. I get very emotional when I'm sleepy. And so I would say that was definitely one of the most one of the most entertaining.

And did you have to get right to work in that state? Totally. We had like one day before we started filming. Oh, boy. And then we just had to like get right into it. That's wild. I feel like they should have given you like just had to like get right into it that's wild i feel like they should have given you like three days to like catch up to the time zone you would think or like go exploring see all the all the new areas no we just went right into it we were like on the express train the entire time that we were there we had to compress it within a few weeks

to get all the episodes in yeah do you have any like tricks that you do to like adjust your body to a new place so i am notoriously a horrible flyer i hate flying because i never really understood how planes work um and so but because there's like the flooding technique in psychology like if you're terrified of something and if you, if it's, if you're just immersed in it, you just get over it. And that's basically what happened with flying. But, um,

I take a shit ton of melatonin gummies and then I take, I bring a chamomile tea bag. I'm like that old lady who brings her tea to the restaurant and asks for hot water. Cause they don't have chamomile tea on flights. They only have the caffeinated ones. I bring a little, my little stash of have the caffeinated ones right so i bring a little my little stash of my mighty leaf tea because it's in a little plastic bag and then it's in those like

nice little sachets that's french for sachet um and then i just like steep one of those and then i i eat everything and i just fall into a carb coma and i you know get a little fudge brownie situation or like eat every single dessert and then i just knock out and then i wake up and i'm in a different time zone that is smart i'm not afraid of flying even though i don't know how planes work it makes no sense it's like this massive hunk of metal it's so big it should fall right out of the sky yeah i don't belong up there no we really don't but i i think the reason why i'm not afraid of flying is because i'm like everyone on this plane believes that this plane's gonna stay in

the air and i just hope that everyone keeps believing because i feel like if people stop believing then i'll fall right out of the sky yep yep and i always and i always look at the pilot too i try to engage in eye contact with the pilot and Same. To be like, I'm a person and I'm back here. You better keep me fucking safe, sir. How's life? Are you a happy person? Yeah. The worst is when the pilot is hot.

I don't like hot pilots because I'm like, I don't know. Things have been easy for you. Do you really know how to fly this plane? A lot of pilots have been easy for you. Do you really know how to fly this plane? I want a pilot that's had a hardship in their life. Who would try very hard to learn how to fly. A hardship, but who's overcome it. Yes, exactly. I need you to overcome adversity before you start flying this plane.

What is your favorite thing about your friend Jonathan my favorite thing about Jonathan is I love eat I I know I'm like you know a food guy on the show um but I really love eating with JVN it's so much fun because with him I like I have a fuck it day on Sundays. Um, and he is, he encourages more fuck it days than I do. And so like, if I see him midweek, like he will order from two to three different places on Postmates to have like the perfect menu. Like he wants a bit of Chinese, a little bit of Mickey D's, um, dessert from one or two places. And we really get to get to indulge in anything. So it's kind of, it's always fun because he just like he does he does whatever he wants and i try to be like more boundaried and strict and regimented

and with him it's just like fucking balls to the wall let's have queso with some salmon teriyaki on the side who cares i love that it's like a celebration every day very random duo but yes yeah exactly what do you usually eat on your fucking days do you ever like a celebration every day very random duo but yes yeah exactly what do you usually eat on your fucking days do you ever like a usual or just like whatever you feel um what did i have so this sunday i try to order in support small businesses too small to fail um as much as i love to cook and and really i've been cooking a lot more in the past you know and being in quarantine more than i have in the past two and a half years traveling. But on weekends, typically, it's either pizza. I had Domino's for the first time in like two to three years. It's so good. Extra sauce, double pepperoni. Do not wipe off

that hot, spicy oil off the top. But this past weekend, i had chicken tenders and the tenders were the size of breasts so there were like four of those with tons of honey mustard and then usually i don't like delivery fries because they get mushy but these were actually really crispy and i think they had a bit of old bay seasoning on it which i really appreciate a nice little seasoning on a on a french fry with like a nice little like an acidic creamy slaw on the side just to have a bit of that acid and then there was like a gooey butter cake pie that i topped with um jenny's ice cream i'm so horny right now yes i love my jenny's ice cream jenny's ice cream is legit delicious i don't like jenny's ice cream i had an incident there

um i went to jenny's i say you had an incident yeah i famously hate jenny's ice cream because of an incident i went there and i asked for half a scoop i said i have a problem with portion control and i would like half a scoop please and the girl behind the counter said I can't give you half a scoop because I'd have to charge you for a full scoop and I said that's okay charge me for a full scoop but I only want half of it she's like I can't give you half a scoop and charge you for a full scoop and I said but I'm a customer and I'm right and she said no you're not you're wrong right now and I said please just give me half the scoop i don't want the full scoop and then she said i won't and i said i hate you i hate jenny's i was so mad so i hate jenny's what was the flavor no i think it was like a blueberry bramble or something oh

i love the blueberry the uh the bramble berry yes bramble berry i love the Brambleberry. I love it too, but I didn't want a full scoop because I'm going through something. I just wanted half a scoop. You should be allowed to have half a scoop. And you said you would pay for the whole scoop. I did! And that's why I don't like Jenny's. She's a tyrant. Jenny herself

refused you. I think you should give her a second chance. I've never met her before, but I don't know. Maybe that person was just having a bad day. I do love Ample Hills. I've never had Ample Hills. Oh, my God. Ample Hills Creamery is so delicious.

They're shut down right now due to COVID-19, but after, I hope they're back up and running and and and and happy i love them i'm not really emotional there i can relate they're close i just need them to pull through because if they go out of business where would i eat ice cream wow oh boy We should get back on track. Okay. Okay. What is, what's Jonathan's favorite thing about you?

His favorite thing about me. Yeah. What do you think? How do I answer that? Not be indulgent. be indulgent. That's the point. I think, you know,

I'm, he, he, he has brought this up before that. I'm always, I'm always like supportive and nice like i'm very non-judgment i'm very non-judgmental i would say non-judgmental i think that's what he would say i like that yeah that's a very good quality to have

you know never fucking judge anybody what did yeah what did what did fitzgerald say in great gatsby in like the first two pages like never judge someone unless you've had the opportunity or the misfortune to walk a mile in their shoes or whatever. It's like, you don't fucking know what they're going through. They're GTI. They're going through it. Just fucking calm down. No need to hate and be judgy. Yeah, I like that a lot.

I judge sometimes. Sometimes I can't help it. You know what i was judging jenny and her rules and i don't know what jenny was going through you judged jenny because of because of one of her disgruntled employees yeah and that might not be a reflection on jenny i gotta go back to jenny i don't you know what i forgive her and i don't judge her who knew we'd be changing throughout one episode who knew this is best friends changing lives. Okay. What is something that you, Anthony does that drives Jonathan crazy? Oh,

oh, this is a few things. He does not like it when, well, there was one incident. It was a Celine Dion incident. I should know which song he was singing, but I don't remember. And I should remember because I'm Canadian and also because it's Celine Dion but he started belting

out one of her songs it takes me a while to get there in the morning I drink offensive amounts of coffee and I need like two to three to feel like to achieve like some kind of balance and I was just I'm very sensitive and so he just started like screaming right next to me and I did one of these like shoulder hunch situations and he just stopped singing and he gave me the worst death stare ever he's intense he's a lot and I love him but I'm like I'm very I'm like I said I'm sensitive. And sometimes I get a little overwhelmed and I just need to like, can we just like chill and like slowly build up there? But he comes in to the fucking car when we're filming and he's like ready to go. It can be six o'clock in the morning or 10 a.m.

It doesn't matter. He's like his cat dances on Instagram. Like that's actually what he's like. That is not me in the morning. I want my coffee. I want my quiet time. Pet the dog. Go on CNN for two I want my quiet time, pet the dog, go on CNN for two minutes, then get depressed and then get off. And it's like, like I have my,

like I need to, I need to build up. And he's just like, he, he, he's off to the races from the second he wakes up. Now, is this something that is this, are you answering? Is this something that annoys you or that annoys? Oh, he hates, he hates that. He hates that I freak out, but I guess that's something that annoys me. I made it about me, didn't I? Wow. Thanks for calling me out there, Sophia. No, no, it's fine because that's our second, that's the other part of the question.

That would be the question right after. So I answered that part. One thing that really annoys, I think, what annoys him about me? What do I do that drives him crazy? I think sometimes, I don't know. He'll make fun of me if like we're a crafty

and if there's like a big vat of like a really nice cheesy penne and I just like go for the grilled chicken because i'm torturous to myself during the week and then he'll just like roll his eyes and go oh um i don't know i really i think the fact that maybe i'm very regimented because i'm i'm like i tend to be a bit of a control freak and I'm like torturous to myself during the week. And sometimes he,

he, he, I think he just kind of like wants me to like let go and like pull the stick out of my ass and just be like, just chill out, have the mozzarella stick. I don't care if it's a Tuesday. I love mozzarella sticks.

You know, when the cheese oozes out and it gets a little crispy on the side, when you take them out of the oven and Yes. And there's that little crispy bit? Yes. That's tasty. Oh, boy. So good. I love a mozzarella stick.

Love a mozzarella stick. Yeah, I guess that would drive him a little crazy. It's really funny because all your answers are like, yeah, what drives him crazy is when he's being really loud and pushing me for eating something. Oh, God, this is going to take a turn. It already has. Okay, so which one of you would do better on the television show Survivor? Oh, I would. Okay. you would do better on the television show survivor oh i would okay i just got into survivor and i'm watching um the it's it's the the season where all the winners come back it is fucking

fascinating i'd never seen it before i'm obsessed i really think i would do well have never seen the show uh yes question every episode but we've never seen an episode so why you should watch it why do you think you would win though and why are you why do you love it so much okay so people have different um like strategies as to like how they win some people are um tend to be like intimidating. Other people are very social. Because I'm social and I have an inherent need for everybody to love me, I feel like I would just make friends with everybody. And that's how I would get them.

I'm actually really good at Texas Hold'em. And people don't know. People mistake my aloofness with stupidity. Because I can be a little ditzy sometimes. But I am always thinking. I'm a little slow. You know but I am always thinking like I'm, I'm a little slow. Like, you know how Jonathan is very quick and impulsive. I'm a processor. If someone says something, I think about it for five minutes. I talk to my therapist,

I go call a friend about it and then I formulate an answer and I come back. So I think in the long term of the game, I think I would, I would do really well. And I would love to be like in Fiji. game i think i would i would do really well and i would love to be like in fiji yeah that would be nice let's go to fiji okay as soon as we can go somewhere we'll go and uh our last question what do you hope you're both doing in 20 years i hope jonathan is living in a house big enough to support at least 15 cats. I hope that he's as politically involved as he is now. What's something that he really wants for himself? I hope that he has his own show at some point as well. You know,

like we're all really lucky to be on Queer Eye and we're part of this unit. But I think as, you know, as much as we honor the show and we like respect this amazing platform that we've been given, it's really nice. I get really excited when all of my castmates actually, like when they're all pursuing their own different things, whether it's in the fields that we've been hired to do or something completely different. So I hope that he gets to continue that if he wants to, like in the public space or, or something a little more private, but I just hope that he's continuing to do that.

And I know he will. Cause he's, he's so incredibly creative that he just, yeah. And he's a busy bee. That's what I respect about him as well. He just, he fucking loves to,

he loves to work. We both love to run ourselves to the ground. And I hope that he continues to do that. But also maybe hopefully have a couple of businesses so he can like chill. Because he's a homebody like me too. We're both kind of like conflicting in that respect. I hope he has a lot of cats. And I hope that he's married.

Maybe kids? Oh, I'm sorry. Wait, wait, I'm sorry wait wait I'm almost done I'm almost done and I hope that he has at least two daughters one of whom will be an Olympic skating hopeful

and the other one in gymnastics I think that would make him very happy wow it's probably the most detailed it's very detailed and the other one in gymnastics. I think that would make him very happy. Wow. It's probably the most detailed. It's very detailed. But what do you hope you're doing in 20 years? You specifically.

I hope that I have a farm somewhere with animals and at least three dogs, one silly dog, like a Corgi, one real dog, like neon corgi. One real dog, like Neon. And then something like in between. And I hope that I have a family. I hope that I have kids. I hope that I'm still close with my family, which I think I will be.

Yeah. And I don't know what I want to do in terms of work stuff. But I don't know. I can't think in terms of like work stuff, but I don't know. I can't think about the work stuff. Cause everything is so like, I don't know where I'm headed. I kind of know, but I don't really know. And I don't like to jinx any of it.

I just want to be happy. I want New York to be home. I miss New York so much. Cause I'm not there right now. So I always want to have my apartment there. And then I would love to just have a farm where I could like get up in the morning and go and like pick a fucking apple and then slice it up get some brown sugar butter caramelize it serve it over some oatmeal pancakes hand whip some cream just live that kind of life you know cut the rosemary in the garden that kind

of situation I want a farm and also just because I saw very I just watched very Ralph for the second time it's the Ralph Lauren documentary and I never thought I loved Ralph Lauren so much but I just watched Very Ralph for the second time. It's the Ralph Lauren documentary and I never thought I loved Ralph Lauren so much, but I just want to have misty mornings on a farm. Yeah. That's nice. That's so nice. With a pot of hot coffee. I've never been hungrier during an episode.

Right? I'm corny for food right now. Yeah. That's all I... Oh my God. Like right now. Yeah. That's all I... Oh, my God. Like, deliciously. Yes. I can't help it.

Everything is food, you know? Well... Everything is food. No, I tried to put a rock in my mouth once. It was your food. If you try hard enough, you can make it food. Oh, my teeth were really screaming. Stop it.

Okay, so now we're going to talk to Jonathan, and then we'll bring you back in a little bit. Thank you. Thank you. now we're back with anthony's best friend jonathan van ness hi how are you jonathan how are you um i'm good i you know find myself doing spending a lot more time in a closet than i ever have you know yeah always you know doing a little um doing a podcast from inside my closet joke hasn't gotten old yet at all I bet if you can tell no no it's a big

closet it's a nice big closet yeah oh not mad about it the closet side It's actually huge. It's a huge closet. Well, it's, it's not like, I mean, it's, it's big, but it's, I mean,

it's, I mean, it's, it's, it's big. It's big. It's a big closet. It is a huge closet.

I would love a closet like that. Like I could probably do like an off ice single toe loop in here. I like that. That's how you measure things. I would love if like a contractor walked into my house and was like, all right, this room is four toe loops by six. We'll put up the shelves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wish that it was, you know, more like about six sow cows by eight lunches, but it just not just not room for it i love it okay so we talked to antony and we asked him questions and now we're gonna ask you the same questions

uh to see if you actually know each other okay so our first question is how did you two meet I queer I auditions okay um do you remember like your first interaction or like maybe you saw him from afar do you remember anything about that unfortunately and I know that he probably said this the first thing that I really remember is that he like really gave me this like horrifically judgmental look because i was like talking about anal and like all sorts of stuff and i i know that he and tan both were like and i was like what and he that but then we became really good friends like immediately um how did how did you move past the anal did uh uh well we i think what brought us to close or really together is that he accidentally thought that he was cut when he wasn't cut like this producer came over and gave him this big hug

and this like long somber look and he thought that that meant that he like was dismissed um from casting and he so like i just saw him like outside looking really sad and i was like what's going on and that was like our cute oh yeah that's good also kind of mean to that producer to give a long hug and a sad look yeah yeah but he maybe was just projecting or something you know i don't know oh it does suck auditions suck because you're like oh they looked at me like in a way kind of like past me and maybe does that mean a thing it's like they're looking for the bathroom or something like it doesn't even matter it could be anything and we're like does that mean something yeah i was just debating on whether or not the first thing i ever auditioned for was like a

community theater thing when i was like seven and after i auditioned i looked up in the yellow pages the community theater phone number and i left them like 18 billion voicemails being like this is why i think i should get the part i really like just like like let me be in and the and the voicemails being like, this is why I think I should get the part. I really like, let me be in the... And the voicemails escalated. The voicemails escalated from like, please, I really want to be in the chorus. I just really want to be too...

If you don't let me in this place, where to go? Needless to say, I didn't make it. I wasn't in the cast. That's so funny I would love to hear this I couldn't handle the pressure that's so funny I once had an audition where during the audition I like started the line and then I looked at the casting director and I was like you look so young how did you get this job and she didn't like that and uh i didn't get that part

it was bad what are your potentials whose dick did you suck to get here i had a gig for tokyo disney years ago and i walked in and was like Konnichiwa! And they're like all rolled their eyes like, Rich, we've heard this. Please watch. I'm sure I was the 27th person to do that. That's very funny. Did you get that job?

I did not get that job, no. They just let you be at regular Disney? I was just at regular Disney. I didn't get to go to Tokyo. I'm sorry get to go to Tokyo. Oh, I'm sorry. One day. Maybe.

Or maybe not. Maybe you'll never get to Tokyo. Jonathan, what's your favorite memory of traveling together with Antony? Oh, my God. We've traveled a lot together. I want to think about what he would have said um oh well see here's the thing about anthony he is a very nervous flyer i am someone who is usually taken like a handful of edibles before I go to the airplane. Cause I just, I like to be, you know, just right incapacitated adjacent before the plane, right. So that I can

sleep, you know, but that's a delicate balancing act when you're using edibles for that, because you gotta like, you know, it's like a whole thing. And so, um, for me, I feel like with Anthony, it's a lot of times I'm just like, you know, letting him process his feelings around the flight. And I'm like, girl. So I kind of feel like I'm, you know, usually asleep is the point of what I'm trying to say. But, oh, actually, I don't know. There's really so many things. I feel like Australia was really fun it was like a

whirlwind um but also or actually no you know what it was it was being in Times Square and seeing when we were doing press for the first time that Queer Eye ever came out and um I was just about to move to New York City and we were in Times Square and like our billboard came up and then I just like keep like broke down and unconsolable like on the ground in New York Times tears because it was just such a um I just wasn't ready yet and it was like it was like February 8th or something I think that was maybe that's like one of the cutest memories now that I've thought about it for that long because I felt like it was really pure and it was very much like,

oh my god, and it was just him and I and it was cute. And then we fucked. Just kidding, we didn't. Right on the street? You fucked right in Times Square? We did. Right at the Niederlander Theater? Former home of Rent.

What is your favorite thing about Antony? He's so caring. He's such a caring BB. He's also very patient. Well, actually, I can't tell if he's patient or if he just doesn't come around when he's irritated. So it could be either one of those things. He's really caring. Maybe he's just really if he just like doesn't come around when he's irritated so it could be either one of those things he's really caring maybe he's just really caring he's very caring what do you think antony's favorite thing is about you i don't know maybe like my sense of

humor or something okay i love it i love the question the big question mark at the end of it yeah what is something that you, Jonathan, does that drives Anthony crazy? Sing really loud. Like, and also I'm late. And

I probably that. Probably those things. What's your favorite thing to sing loud? I don't remember what it was at this one time. And I've never forgotten it. He got really irritated with me because I was minding my own business right behind him. And he was in the passenger seat.

And I was behind him. And I sang something really pretty. And he jumped and rolled his fucking eyes like with his iced coffee and was all like visibly irritated and i was like calm down you know sorry that when you're kebwa kwa and you speak two fucking language three languages you know sorry you know that your iced coffee didn't like the sound of my fucking voice you know it's 7 30 in the morning singing destiny's child minding my own business trying to get in the mood you know so so you are a morning person yeah i'm such a morning person. I am such a morning person, such a morning person. I don't understand

morning people. I'm a morning person to the point where since this, like since quarantine has been what we're doing, I am on that good, like all the way asleep thoroughly by 8 45 PM, sleep thoroughly by 8 45 p.m like 9 9 p.m and then you know at like 5 50 like 6 in the morning i am up i am on the news cycle i am checking in i am yes like i am i don't know what's wrong with me i can't like i have i've only stayed up i've only stayed up one time past nine o'clock only stayed up i only stayed up one time past nine o'clock in like in a month in a month that's wild i'm up till people i know i'm no i can't do it and people in la will text me like at normal times you know like seven like normal business things and i'm like oh sorry i was asleep for like three hours when you messaged me that i'm sorry that keeps looking like i'm naked but i'm not i have on shorts but like they're shorts and yeah and it's a crop top so it'm naked but I'm not I have on shorts but like they're shorts and it's a crop

top so it looks naked but I'm not you can be naked you can be absolutely as naked as you want it's a podcast wait not a visual medium not to I know but we can see each other I still need to clarify and not to flip the script um but I have a question well I, I just a statement, Nicole, your strip pole content is for me easily in my top five. It's in my top five of content. I have no, it is like a things I look for. Um, your bravery. I live for your, the bravery that not, but not in terms of, I mean, the literal bravery, like you are climbing. We are, that shit is scary. I'm, um, I hate it when people like message me and say like, oh, like you're brave or like, um, you're so body, whatever. I, I, I kind of, I'm like, I'm like, that's sweet. But also like, I just, aren't we all allowed to just be fucking gorgeous?

Like whatever. Like, I mean, everyone wants to bang. Like, look at us, you know? So I didn't mean brave in that way because, you know, if I was just any more straight, I, like, I'm obsessed with everything. I mean, I'm obsessed. But I meant purely heights brave. I'm scared of heights. I am. Every time I tumble on the ground, I realize that I'm risking myself.

You know, when I hurl my body upside down it is scary you know um yeah i just love your fucking strip hole content it's my fucking favorite i can't wait to see what you do queen i feel like i feel like in a year i do feel like i'm gonna be seeing you like doing like i don't know like a upside down twerk triple loop fucking that's all i want to do yeah no i really do i really feel like i'm just gonna see this 180 degree pop of the legs. I feel like you're going to climb up there with this confident. And then like when you get up to the top, it's just going to be like. And it's going to know I do.

I sense it. I see it. So I'm just. Yeah, I love that. I'm obsessed with you on that fucking pole. And sometimes I feel like it's anything. I just think I need more because sometimes i feel like i'd be checking and it's like oh like i almost could use like a double dose like i could

use like just a straight video in the morning but then like some fun like um a carousel at night you know is there a highlight that i could get is there a youtube that i could get is there you know what i'm saying i'm I just really feel like it's an under it's your it's a movement that I need but not like just pulled it I Nicole Byer on the fucking stripper that's what I want this is what I'm talking that's and I think that's the kind of people are talking about it like I think that people are like I feel like I'm not the only one that feels like this Nicole gives the people what they want give them a morning poll and a night poll i honestly was like well all right i guess i'll stretch after this and hop right on my pole

wait what question were we at that's like probably first one oh okay what is something anthony gets lost everywhere he goes he has no sense of direction and he also can't drive oh my gosh that was right at the tip of your tongue like actually can't drive or is a bad driver he I think I think he just got his permit or like just got his license it's one of the two he like physically can't drive and like just because he has no experience and so he's like he's yeah like he he actually for the very first time on his birthday this year for the first time in our whole relationship drove me like three blocks but we need to cross check that make sure he has a license to make sure that that wasn't illegal because i actually don't really know if it was or not. So let's just cross-reference

that and make sure that they don't come for us in Austin. But yeah. Um, okay. I love it. So she sometimes scares me when she drives, but in a good way, well, we went to go see a giant dildo and she crossed, uh, multiple lanes of traffic for a parking space i had to give you that dildo this is my accent well those cars came out of nowhere what am i supposed to do um okay which one of you would do better on the television show in its 20th season survivor. And why, why I don't do that.

What was that one reality show? She's like, I don't behave like that. I don't act like that. I don't, that is that. That's what comes to my mind. I just can't, I feel like he could rough it a little bit longer.

You know, a lot of people don't know this about Anthony, but he actually lived in West Virginia for like a few years. Yeah. Like between Canada and... Yeah. Yeah, if you survive West Virginia, you can survive anything. Yeah. He was like a trilingual immigrant in West Virginia.

Oh. So I do feel like it would, but also I'm like a gender nonconforming, like, you know, Jesus lookalike who's obsessed with gymnastics from like a rural downstate Illinois. So I think it was probably, yeah,

I don't know, but him, he would still probably win, but I can change a tire. So. Oh, that's good. I I can change a tire. That's good. I also can change a tire.

I don't know if I could do it now, though. But, like, my dad made sure I knew how to change my oil and change my tire. And to, like, argue with mechanics because they overcharge women. I just had this daydream where you both do a quarantine photo shoot in your, like, I don't know, somewhere around your houses with each of your cars where you're both changing your tires. Maybe to like launch this episode of the, or no, maybe this is the answer that's not involved,

but maybe just some other time, but it's like really sexy and you guys like self shoot it. Cause like, you know, or actually maybe a photographer could do it for more than six feet away. So it's fine. But yeah, there's like a lot of like, the hair is kind of like this. Beautiful to the side yeah yeah and you're really like to the side and it's kind of like that episode of america's next top model that one season when they were like out doing in the

mechanics in the desert but this would be like in your backyard on the street in LA. Alright, she has so much time. We have an assignment. Yeah, we can do it. You'll be changing the tire of your Subaru and I'll change the tire of my little beamer. Yes! She's used.

She is in 2013. She's got a lot of dents. I love her. It's's a great year 2013 was a great year honestly 2013 was a very good year for me it was the first year that simone biles won individual all-around gymnastics championship wow oh just so you know who's there's this new gymnast that i i saw she was dancing to beyonce who is she oh she's fierce she's from ucla honey every year one of the ucla collegiate gymnasts has like a fierce routine that goes viral because like their choreography is just super on point and really great um yeah so she was from ucla and um yeah i forget her little baby name and she's fierce and i should know her name but

i don't know her name but i wish that i did she's amazing i love it okay the last question is where do you see both of yourselves in 20 years happily married to each other yeah oh because i do you know i just keep playing this like long friend game you know and joking about us being together and everything but like i know eventually you know and you know now with his like gorgeous new show that is about like girls and boys i'm kind of like both you know i'm kind of a little bit like you know how you know like oh yeah serve the leg yeah so I just did that signature Victoria Beckham pose if you know because obviously you guys can't see me do that but yeah so yeah I'm just kidding um I feel like in 20 years hopefully we'll just

be really good friends and we'll be working and we'll be still like, you know, doing things together. And I love him. I mean, I really do genuinely feel everyone on the cast. I, you know, not to, I did get slightly jealous when I read this quote from one of the gymnasts in the 2008 silver medal women's gymnastics team that she was like, you know, no one will ever know what that experience was like, except for us I was like but I really wanted to be there but it is true that when you're in like a high pressure group situation like that no one really ever will know exactly what it was

like and so I think um I do think that I like for you know lifelong very you know just lifelong friends and the four of those people. Yeah. So, yeah. Isn't that sweet? I love that. Okay. Now, Antony is going to come back. And we're going to compare those answers.

Oh my God. Ah. And we're back. And now have both jonathan and anthony to talk about what they said about each other okay we asked how did you two meet anthony said during the queer eye audition process we were in a hotel conference room it was a very sad conference room with dirty carpeting and the first time i saw him he seemed frazzled. And then, uh,

actually JVN, what are your pronouns? I'm sorry. Oh, you can use any of them. I love all of them. Cool. Um,

uh, and then, uh, Jonathan yelled, where is she? Where is she? And then left the room and Anthony asked somebody, uh, who she was.

And it turns out Jonathan was just looking for his Starbucks. somebody uh who she was and it turns out jonathan was just looking for his starbucks and jonathan said that he also met anthony at the queer eye auditions and he gave me a really horrific uh horrifically judgmental look because i was talking about anal but then we became really good friends immediately what brought us together is he thought he was cut from casting but he wasn't cut he went outside and was really sad so i went outside and that's when we bonded for the first time that's true actually he came inside and i came inside actually yeah i misspoke i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry it's okay outside inside it's kind of the same thing uh do you want to do the next one what it is It's a place. They're two places. Outside and inside. Do you want to do the next ones this year?

Yeah. We asked, what's your favorite memory of traveling together? Anthony said, when we were filming Queer Eye in Japan, it was our first day in the afternoon. The time change is like 18 hours. We were all sitting in the car about to start filming. I looked at Jonathan and Tan,

and everyone was cross-eyed, delirious. We couldn't talk. It was like we were drunk. The delirium of it was insane. We laughed hysterically. And then later I cried. Do you remember that was when we recorded the Shibuya Crossing, Jonathan? And then we like looked at each other and we were so out of it.

And we were eating some kind of fast food. Maybe. You do not remember that at all wow wow wow no i do i remember it really great yeah yeah totally well jonathan's memory was uh just anthony anthony being a nervous flyer. I usually take a handful of edibles when I go on a plane, so I'm usually asleep. And I'm usually letting him process his feelings around the flight. But... When you were doing

press for Queer Eye in Times Square, that was a beautiful moment. I was about to move to New York, and our billboard was up. I broke down inconsolable on the ground in tears. I wasn't ready for that yet. It was pure and it was just him and I. That was really sweet.

Yeah. And then I said we fucked. Yeah. Right there in Times Square. That's what they're called now. In front of families. Spider-Man was present. He was recording. it was really great

then we went to red lobster for some biscuits to celebrate i love them they're so good so good we asked what's your favorite thing about your friend anthony said i love eating with jvn it's so much fun uh i have a fuck it day on Sundays and he encourages more fuck it days so if I see him midweek he'll order a few things from a few different places on Postmates we indulge JVN does whatever he wants

Jonathan said he's so caring he's so patient well maybe not maybe he only comes around when he's not annoyed but definitely caring. Then we asked, what's your favorite thing about, what's your friend's favorite thing about you? Anthony said, I'm supportive and nice. I'm non-judgmental.

And then JVM said, my sense of humor? That's a good question, Mark humor you're very funny yeah um and then we asked what is something you do that drives your friend crazy anthony said an incident a celine dion incident he started belting one of her songs i'm not a morning person i drink a lot of coffee and I'm sensitive. And I did a shoulder hunch slash cringe and JVN gave me the death stare. JVN shows up ready to go in the morning. He'll make fun of me at Crafty if there's amazing cheesy penne and I go for the grilled chicken. I'm very regimented and he wants me to just chill.

JVN said, sing really loud. Also, I'm late. late probably that probably those things he was once in a passenger seat in the front of the car uh i was minding my own business in the back and i started singing something very pretty and he jumped on i thought i was definitely styled but selena also worked it was slim he's like'll never forget. I love that you remember specifically Celine, but not the song. I think it was I Drove All Night. I'm Your Lady. I drove all night to get to you.

I was going through a really hardcore phase in 2017 with that song. Wait, which song? I Drove All Night. I love I Drove All Night. It was from that one commercial for the cars. Yes. I drove all night. I love it. I drove all night for the cars I drove all night I love it

I drove all night you added a falsetto where there wasn't a falsetto it was not the falsetto it was the power of my fucking voice there was no whisper I don't do a whisper I do not do a whisper in Celine

I do not do a falsetto do not do a whisper in Celine I do not do a falsetto at 7 o'clock in the morning I'm gonna text you right now motherfucker you know what else Jonathan hates? when I go on trips with other people and he doesn't come he does not like that

just shaking that head that was a really really low blow and you know what i don't like when you at four o'clock in the morning go with tan and go see a fucking sunset on the sydney goddamn harbor and you don't even fucking invite me and then you post all kinds of videos about it and like the sun hitting your faces and like being all poetic and shit while i was asleep and you could have texted me because you know i was going through it at that point and i was alone in my hotel room and I could have gone with you and you know I would have been there with a coffee in hand with half and half for you just the way you like it and you didn't even fucking text me wow no I just don't I don't want to lay him out in front of y'all like that

whoa i'm just you know because you know what's funny is how he's not judgmental do you remember how he was just saying that he was not judgmental yeah you're hard out yeah you're hard out yeah yeah you're hard out with your heart out. Well? Fucking dancing! We asked, what's something your friend does that drives you crazy? I think the actual answer is going places.

Breathing, apparently. Breathing, this thing. I got got it this is really what it is fuck him Anthony said that JVN comes in hot in the morning, very excited ready to go, but Anthony's sensitive, and then JVN said he gets lost everywhere he goes, he's got

no sense of direction and is a bad driver. He physically can't drive because he has no experience. Oh, my God. His mouth is open. Okay, you know what? You know what? You know what? Maybe I don't drive a lot.

But that's because, you know, I get distracted by music and I like to change the songs and it's just not safe. But also. To multitask. And I am a really good driver. I'm always a designated driver. No, you know, I get distracted by music and I like to change the songs and it's just not safe to multitask. And I am a really good driver. I'm always a designated driver. No, you're not. You're a horrible driver. You get distracted all the time.

Okay, but also, Nicole, can I just, I do feel like you misquoted me. I said he has no sense of direction and he can't drive. Is really what I said. Ah, so sorry. I said can't. I said can't. Or maybe I say doesn't know how. I thought I said, because I thought I was doing a clueless quote. Except for instead of virgin, it's just like, and he can't or maybe I say doesn't know how because I thought I was doing a clueless quote except for instead of virgin it's just like

and he can't drive well your joke didn't land Jonathan it was Kimmy Kimmy wrote it down wrong it wasn't me it was Kimmy we don't we're never trying to we're never trying to break up a friendship

we didn't realize this is the most contentious episode we've ever had. Oh my gosh, we're just kidding. We love each other. Thank God. I love it. I can't argue the sense of joy.

He's the chemistry so hot and heavy. This is giving me the same vibes as when Sashir told me that she would leave me behind during a zombie apocalypse. I couldn't believe it. i'm still not over it why did you were you just kidding no she was not you wouldn't do anything blah blah blah and i was like i'll kill deers i'll climb up trees i'll do what i need i'll stab a zombie in the eye and she was like no you weren't you love talking to people

you do love talking to people you would make friends with a zombie and invite them into our group and then we would have to figure out how to kill everybody no she would have a stripper pole that could take out 10 zombies in a row I think she would be very valuable yes

now I know that she would be very valuable. Thank you. We landed on that she has a garage so we could put our stuff in there. And she could climb trees because she's really good at climbing. She could get us a coconut or something.

So I came around. Wait, where is the zombie apocalypse where you can put coconuts on KD? We don't really know. We don't know yet. Just curious. We don't know. We're not really sure.

Theoretically, you'd be in LA still. You got to get a meeting point, an action plan, similar to an earthquake, but different. Yes. It's true. We should talk about that. Okay. Let's see. Oh, we asked which one oh you do it yes what do you hope you're both doing in 20 years anthony said i hope jonathan is in a big house big enough to

support 15 cats i hope he's uh politically involved as he is now i hope he has his own show i love when everyone pursues their own thing. I hope he's continuing to do that and also has a few businesses and I hope he's married and has a few kids and I hope that he has at least two daughters, one of whom who is involved with Olympic skating and the other in gymnastics. And then I hope I have a farm somewhere with animals and at least three dogs, a silly dog, a real dog, and something in between. I hope I have a family and kids, and I hope I'm still close to my family. I miss New York, and I want to have a house there and a farm, and I want misty mornings on the farm.

Wow, when I hear what I'm told, what I said, I'm really manic and scatterbrained. It's never really dawned on me until just now. It's like, wow, that's literally what I'm told, what I said, I'm really manic and scatterbrained. It's never really dawned on me until just now. It's like, wow, that's literally what I said. You just wanted to, like, fill in all the details, and we love that. You painted a real picture. A nice Bob Ross. Yeah. And then Jonathan said, happily married to each other.

I keep playing this long friend game, but I know eventually, and now with this gorgeous new show. About girls and boys. I'm both. Just kidding. We will still be working together. And doing things together. I genuinely love him.

Funny right? Oh wait. We skipped one uh the survivor question which one of you would be better on survivor anthony said oh i would people have different strategies people mistake my aloofness with stupidity but i'm always thinking i'm a bit slow i'm a processor in the long term i would do really well jvn said anthony would would. I don't do that. Not about that life. Anthony lived in West Virginia for a few years, which has left you equipped to be on Survivor. Yeah, I

rode a bicycle over a rattlesnake once. What? Oh my god. On purpose? Was it living? No, accidentally. It was a baby rattler. And then did it pass? No, it lived. I kept going. I'm terrified of snakes. Yeah, same. I think I am too

I've never been in the same room with a snake they don't have limbs? no they don't makes no sense well I believe that you two are friends you've answered enough questions that you know each other yes so now you can continue

your friendship because it now has our stamp of approval yay yeah thank you guys so much for doing our podcast we really appreciate you guys making the time and this is delightful thanks for having us i miss you i miss you wait are you guys quarantined near each other? Yeah, he's in the other room. No! Wait, you're in the same apartment? No, I'm just kidding. He's in this one place and I'm in another place.

Oh. Have you seen each other at all? From like 80 feet apart. We took a long... We took a wide walk apart from each other. And I brought you cinnamon buns on your birthday. Oh, nice. When was your birthday? He bought me...

He did buy me... They were cold. I don't vote. They were cold. They were like hours old. They were warm. And I bought extra packets and I put double the icing on them

that was sweet of him wait why don't you tell them what I gave you for your birthday what was that the case the case of chips oh someone sent me 24 cases The case of chips? Oh.

Someone sent me 24 cases. I'll fucking take care of this. I'll fucking take care of this. Anthony, you know how sometimes people send you stuff that you didn't ask for and you don't want? Just randomly. Like, you just open your front door and there's a case of fucking recycled fucking garbage cabbage chips. You know?

Like also chips. You know that someone wanted to send to Auntie to try out or whatever. So he gets this box of fucking chips of crisps that were made of fucking garbage and cabbage. And he brought them to me.

Brought them to me. A whole box. A whole dang box of stuff. That was full. And I had to deal with that. In the middle of a fucking respiratory pandemic. My cats. My cats were climbing in that box.

And fucking popping them. And playing in there. It gave my one cat. Diarrhea. That was what broke the camel's back and I had to take it outside because my fucking cat wouldn't stop eating it. He re-gifts me this

fucking box of garbage. Fucking shitty chips. And you're so caring and patient. Do you guys want to know what Jonathan sent me for my birthday? We have to go. I have a hard out. Nope, nope, nope. Jonathan sent me a bonsai tree to New York when he knew I was in Boston.

That bonsai tree is still sitting in the mail room, dead, in a box. And I'm going to see it when it's basically like a dried branch. And he sent it to New York. Bonsai trees are hard in general. they're just like finicky plants anyway even if you have a very selfish gift if you ask me yeah yeah a lot of responsibility well uh glad you guys are still friends and thank you so much for doing this. Yes. Thank you for having us.

It was a lot of fun. All right. Well, have fun with the rest of your days. I never want to see you again. Everyone else. I'm just kidding. I love you so much. Jonathan, meet me in the kitchen in five.

I'm making, I'm making turkey rolls. Turkey rolls? What's a turkey roll? Oh, it's just where you take deli turkey meat and you put a shit ton of grainy Dijon mustard and you eat it. Oh. That sounds great. I don't like mustard.

Yeah, it doesn't, it's not for you. It's not for you, Quain. You gotta really love that Dijon deep in your... I'm not about that life. You gotta get it all up in your tongue. It's too tangy. All right. Bye.

Bye. That's our show. If you want to ask us a question, you can email Nicole and Sasheer at gmail.com or call us at 424-645-7003. And if you have a birthday coming up or a friend's birthday's coming up or Christmas is coming, depending on when you found the podcast, or if you give Thanksgiving presents or you want to give a present to yourself because it's a Tuesday. No, our show comes out on Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. We also have merch at podswag.com slash best friends.

Bye. Bye. We did it. Look at us. We did it.