Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole’s Got Something in Her Throat

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

Friends?! Nicole still has something stuck in her throat, but she’s ok. Sasheer suggests massaging her throat. Nicole’s concerned over a neighbor's dog constantly barking. Sasheer tried to ‘shhhh’ a dog but didn’t know the correct commands. Nicole regales us about the movie “Night Swim,” about a haunted swimming pool. Sasheer is already afraid of the water. Jordan shares a story that illustrates the danger of hot tubs. Nicole and everyone else is surprised to learn that more than 300 people die every year from hot tub-related accidents. Sasheer learns that Johnny Appleseed was a real person. Nicole couldn’t date anyone named Johnny Appleseed. Sasheer is annoyed with her Wisteria tree in her yard. Nicole jokes that Sasheer is performing tree abortion. Sasheer was asked if she knew her birth story and she didn’t. Neither did Nicole. Nicole shares a new fav food combo flavor. Sasheer learns that you need a membership to shop at Costco. They take a Buzzfeed quiz that helps determine if you’re an Introvert, Extrovert or Ambivert. Also, they answer your friendship questions about how to handle a racist manager, how to address a friend who's distancing themselves, and whether to go to a NYE wedding or head to Cuba. This was recorded on May 14th, 2024. Sources: Hot Tub Related Deaths: https://thedoylelawoffices.com/blog/what-you-need-to-know-about-hot-tub-accidents/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20Consumer%20Product,one%2Dfifth%20of%20all%20drownings. Shark Attacks and Deaths: https://www.newsweek.com/florida-shark-attack-capital-world-1905535#:~:text=The%20global%20total%20of%20unprovoked,often%20lead%20to%20shark%20bites. Johnny Appleseed: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Appleseed Ebony Alert: https://www.chp.ca.gov/Pages/Ebony-Alert.aspx Silver Alert: https://www.chp.ca.gov/news-alerts/silver-alert Feather Alert: https://www.chp.ca.gov/Pages/Feather-Alert.aspx Pink/Purple Alert: https://lluh.org/patients-visitors/visitors/security-services/crime-information/what-code-pinkpurple Why the Amber Alert was Created: https://www.click2houston.com/news/2024/02/21/amber-alert-system-was-created-following-the-abduction-of-9-year-old-texas-girl-read-the-case-that-started-it-all/#:~:text=AMBER%20Alert%20system%20was%20created,9%2Dyear%2Dold%20Texas%20girl&text=TEXAS%20%E2%80%93%20Amber%20Hagerman%2C%209%2C,was%20named%20in%20her%20honor. Here is the quiz we took: https://www.buzzfeed.com/lady_emerald/introvert-extrovert-ambivert-ice-cream-quiz Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

🎵 Hello, Sashir! Hello, Nicole. Oh my god, I ate an apple today, and a piece of the apple got stuck in my throat, and it's still kind of there. Ooh. And I can't, I ate more apple to try to shove it down. Yeah. But I'm like, maybe it's in my windpipe.

Interesting. Hmm. Have you tried coughing it out? Oh, I coughed so hard and for so long. And it still wouldn't come out. Hmm. What about like massaging your throat? Oh.

Oh. That's not really doing anything. Does it feel like, can you feel, does it feel like, oh, I can sense that there's something in there? No, but every time I swallow, I feel the spittle having to go, like, bypass around. The piece of mouth. Like, oh, excuse me? So nasty. Isn't that gross?

Yeah. I'm sorry. I've had a day. Somebody left their dog. And from the minute I have woken up to now, it is 3.08 p.m. This dog has been barking. Someone left their dog in their house? I think they left it in the house or it's in the yard or something. But it has been barking someone left their dog in their house i think they left it in the

house or it's in the yard or something but it has been barking that sucks and i'm like should i go over there and save it like let it free or take ownership of it feed it give it water i don't know it needs something it's barking it needs a friend yeah i was um in my yard the other day i was actually trying to record something and i was like oh there's like pretty ivy on this wall i'll do it here this be a nice background and then uh the dog next door just like came right up to the to the middle wall and started barking i was like god damn it and then i was like trying to be like like snap i was like i don't know what commands you're used to so i didn't know what to i was like like clapping like stop and then eventually their owner came and like called them in and i

was like i wonder if they heard me clapping and snapping and saying shh. That's like parenting someone else's child where you're like, who do you belong to? What commands do you know? You know how to go away? You know how to go back and find your mom? What do you know? That's so funny. Charlie, Millheiser's dog, wasn't great at commands. And I am convinced that charlie speaks spanish i am convinced

because if you go charlie benaki he'll come over oh that's fine it is but then sometimes i'll speak to him in my broken spanish and he'll just like look at me he's judging and i feel like he's like home but like she doesn't normally talk like that so like i'm not gonna get tricked yeah yeah no the accent's off i don't trust it yeah i don't trust it i'm not gonna follow her and then remember i told you my neighbors were fighting oh yeah did i tell you about this where i don't know if you said it on the show but you told me oh well i went for a walk and i stood in front of my neighbor's house for entirely too long. And if they have cameras, I'm a stalker.

But at one point, she was like, if you think I'm cooking a Thanksgiving dinner and flying to Paris the next day, you've got to be high. And he went, you miserable miserable bitch you're just fucking miserable and she was like the haunted house is not for you it's for jenny i don't know their kid's name and he's like what do you mean it's not for me i'm not a child she's like she's scared of houses and they were like screaming at each other at 11 a.m on like a wednesday and i was like wait you guys are doing pretty well you're not at work like you have a like you live in a nice house like what are you doing and like but you have the afternoon to go to Paris after Thanksgiving yes the day after Thanksgiving wild and then who is she cooking for like you have friends and anyway so they there was like a

U-Haul the next week and I was like, oh my God. And then they listed their place for rent on Zillow because I love trolling Zillow to see what my neighbors are up to. And then a new old lady moved in the next day and I was trying to get the scoop from her, but she was like yelling at the moving people about this chest that she was moving in. And I was also like, are you a witch? What is this chest? It looks like it's from Atlantis. Like it was old and rusty and stuff.

And she's like, no, it has to be carried this way. And she was so old. The demons will come out if you drop them. I'm like, I need to know more. I can't let what's in there be unleashed. And I got a little scared, so I didn't talk to her. But I'm dying to know if she has the juice about my neighbors. And I'm dying to know what she's doing in town.

Why are you renting a house? What's going on? Yeah. How old does she seem? To me, she, I'm really bad at age but i think she was like maybe 50s to 60s okay i think yeah and they're and she seemed to be a single lady i didn't see any other family um but yeah i really want to know what's going on over there i wonder if she would have the information of like why they moved out that's not like what a realtor gives you as like you're absolutely right you're right but i just watched this movie on the plane called swimming pool

where the realtor did have some juice on what happened prior to them owning the home. Also, the movie gets real unhinged real quick. Is this the one, is that a horror movie where they have a pool that's like evil? Yes. And at one point the dad's like, I love the pool.

The pool gives me strength. And I was like, whoa. Like it was making him like strong like like physically strong yes because he has uh i don't want to give it away but so he has something going on and he needs to do some exercise so they're he they're looking for a house and then they stop in front of this one because he was drawn to it. And he goes, oh, it's got a pool. I can do my exercises.

And then he's like always in the pool. And then the pool's like juicing him up and making him happy. And then the pool has like a different world underneath the pool. And then she goes to visit this lady who lived there before. And then her eyes are bleeding.

It's wild. Yeah. Oh are bleeding. It's wild. Oh, sorry. It's called Night Swim and not Swimming Pool. Although there was a movie called Swimming Pool. There was. It was freaky deaky. Some of the lines, though, when he was like, it's making me strong. I was like, oh, no.

That scares me because I'm already, already like scared of the water a bit i don't want to i don't want anything grabbing me or pulling me or sucking me in i get it well did you know those little caps at the bottom of a pool you have to have those caps on it because if you just have a drain people have been known to be sucked into the drain and held underwater isn't that scary yes do you want to hear an even worse story what yeah when my sister was in high school in the late 90s there was a high school house party happening and there was a hot tub and one of the girls they were guys girls all in the hot tub and one of the girls dropped something and went to the bottom to get something and her hair got caught and she died oh my god yeah oh my god way to kill the vibe yeah like imagine no not you jordan homegirl with the hair like you're all like having a hot tub you're making out you're like being sassy and scandalous and then you're like

oh no we got cindy's down there oh that sucks that's terrible yeah ever since then my mom has been like don't go in hot tubs and i'm like i'm not gonna put my head under the water can i put my feet in i guess also like a hot tub's not deep like how could they couldn't figure to get scissors and like snips i think when emergencies happen you're like ah yeah for sure and i think it was underage drinking and like no one like i'm sure they're all smoking weed and like oh my god and they probably just didn't notice oh oof that's okay everyone be careful in hot tubs don't like dunk your whole head oh my god more than 300 people die every year from hot tub related accidents i would not have expected that me either how many different types of hot tub related accidents can there be?

Drowning. For sure. Slipping. Getting out. I guess overheating. Overheating. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Slip and falls. Entrapment. Entrapment. Heat related injuries. We got that. Chemical injuries. Injuries. Okay. Oh, no. Wow. heat related injuries we got that oh chemical injuries injuries okay no wow how to prevent hot tub accidents you would think a hot tub would be okay like you you think of like so many people get eaten by sharks or something like that but no hot tubs are far more dangerous than sure yeah

i feel like yeah you'd probably die in a hot tub before a shark ate you i mean i'm never around how many how many people every year are killed by sharks um i don't know i feel like i want to say it's like a smaller number than we think i think it's super small um i uh oh yeah 69 confirmed sharks are funny dude yeah 69 is way less than 300 yeah it actually is wow wow wow can you believe okay okay I think I just dislodged oh wait no I can still feel both apples it's so crazy am I is this just how I live now with a piece of apple in your throat? I feel like I've had things stuck in my throat before, like food, and then eventually it'll come up at some point. Ugh, how gross. I feel like it's the same day.

I don't think it's like the following week where I'm like, oh, there's that chicken. Ew. What's Johnny Appleseed? Did he have apples stuck in his throat was that his claim to fame is that a nursery rhyme i don't know i don't know i don't know and i don't know why i know him i mean it sounds familiar to me i just don't know what his deal is or what he'd be doing johnny apple see is an american pioneer nursery rhyme uh nursery man who introduced apple trees to large parts of pennsylvania ohio indiana illinois ontario um he can he became an american legend while still alive wait this is a real person john John Chapman. This is wild. Is Johnny Appleseed?

Oh, because he planted apples. Or apple trees. But how did he get the apples? Hmm, interesting. Oh, Leavenster, Massachusetts. Okay. You know it? Yeah, yeah.

I used to live near Leavenster. Yeah. This is so, so he like, oh, he randomly spread apple seeds wherever he went wild yeah how did he get the apple seeds he just like discovered an apple or eat it maybe and then was like everyone has to eat an apple yeah it's kind of nice providing food for people. That is nice. Do you think you could you could date slash marry a man named Johnny Appleseed? No, I would be so annoyed at this man holding fucking seeds in his pocket being like, wait, wait, we can't go.

We can't go in there yet. I got to go plant a tree. Like, oh, my my god there's enough over here don't you think then i would just go to the next town i would get so tired of it yeah it is kind of quaint as long as you just like throw it like just like throw some seeds and keep going if we just stop and dig that's annoying i feel like you got to stop and dig if you really want something to grow you can't just be sprinkling oh but i feel like i've seen videos of people who like spread wildflowers and like urban like wastelands and

they just grow but they're also wildflowers but i think maybe they don't need that much to yeah they're wild baby apple trees are trees they're not wild oh so they need to be exposed to cool moist conditions before they germinate interesting so i wonder if he's walking around with germinated fucking seeds i need to plant them a half inch deep that's not very deep no but i'm like is he germinating the seeds first which means you like put them on like a paper towel inside like a moist paper towel until it sprouts and then you plant it did you know i'm a farmer wow i mean my wisteria tree is like spreading its seed all over my yard which is really annoying because i don't want more to grow on the yard but once they like get in the ground, it's like I'm a tree.

It like pretty quickly is like, damn, I'm a tree. And so if I see now I can recognize like what they look like when they're tiny. I just like rip them out of the ground. But it just like sneezes seeds all the time. And I'm like, this is please stop. This is saccharine. Wow. I just want you here.

Who knew you were so. wait what is it oh i was gonna make an abortion joke but you're pro-choice because you're aborting little trees your trees spreading seeds and you're killing them before they could come to come to full come to term gotta scoop them out of the dirt while they're really young scoop them get all of the roots imagine you had an abortion the doctor's like don't worry we got all the roots wouldn't that be wild is it a possibility if you're not oh we left a little something in there for you it starts growing from like the foot like oh no that'd be terrible we all start as like little beans which is like really crazy to me

it is really crazy like i used to be so skinny that's wild like there was a time where people were like worried about my weight we have to eat more so she gains weight they're like she's too skinny we have to beef her up so she's ready to get out of here and that makes me feel good about myself someone asked me okay i'm don't remember we talked about this one out but someone asked me like do you know your birth story and i was like why would i i was but i guess maybe that's the thing that people know like their birth story like i'm sure their parents told them like oh you know we were eating dinner then your mom's water broke and then we had to brush like all that stuff i don't know any of those details and i guess you know i should ask i could ask and get more

information on it i know my mom was cooking collard greens and then her but then i don't know what happened after that well i think she went to the hospital maybe she didn't go to the hospital i feel like i would know if she did it yeah she you wouldn't hear the end of it she'd be like you know where i went that was right in the yard i went to dj max um my parents never i don't know my birth story yeah um yeah i simply don't know i don't know how long my mother was in labor um i don't even know if like family was there yeah i don't either wow i wish my parents were still around so i can ask them yeah but they're super dead and i'll never know and then there's that yeah but maybe your sister knows i doubt it

maybe they explained it to her or like maybe she was like because how how was the age difference a year and a half oh never mind she was she's not like no old enough to remember that fertile brain yeah um but she might somebody might have told her she does remember more things than me she's got a great memory i simply forget everything truly i forget i don't even know what i ate yes oh wait i had chicken oh there you go i ate chicken yesterday you taste the other part of the food particles apple and chicken gross oh my god can I tell you about this thrilling

combination I just came up with apples and peanuts because it tastes like apples and peanut butter but I don't have to mess a knife and we hate messing a knife thank god you don't have to mess a knife and we hate messing a knife thank god you don't have to mess a knife

i guess i did say that in the most unhinged way i don't have to mess i don't have to mess a knife yeah because the peanut butter gets stuck on the knife and then then you gotta soap it up and then you use the sponge and then the sponge kind of smells like peanut butter and then you mess the sponge yeah you mess the scrub daddy and then you gotta rinse it

off a hundred times so it doesn't smell like peanut butter but I have figured out a way to circumvent bite the apple, chew it a bunch eat some peanuts, chew it a bunch and you're like whoa it's an explosion doris said you could get a snack pack size of peanut butter oh yeah because they have the ones that you can rip and just like squeeze it onto your food okay maybe i will get into that i don't know yet but nicole also she loves a reason to eat peanuts

i love them and okay so i've moved away from planters because they have the street nuts they sell them at rite aid um it's like sweet and salty nuts it's like a coating it's so good but i think i've moved way back to just normal peanuts. And Kirkland's signature has the biggest, crunchiest ones. But I don't have a Costco membership.

So I'm going to have to hit up a couple of our friends who have it and see if they'll get me some. Get me some nuts. Get me some nuts. But can't anyone

shop at Costco? You just like. No. It's a sheer. It's members only. Are you kidding? It's a sheer. It's members only. Are you kidding? It's very exclusive. I thought it was like anyone can shop there, but it's like the prices are different if

you aren't a member. No. What are you talking about? No. What store is that? Whoever does that. No, I'm sorry, ma'am. Sam's Club, Costco, BJ's.

I don't know if they still exist. These are all membership exclusive bulk buying places. Okay. Yeah. Well, my bad. Yeah, your bad exactly. Not part of the club, so I don't know all the rules. You're not a part of the club. I did buy pretzels in bulk.

They're now stale. This is the problem with having food in your house. You forget about it, and then everything is stale. Yeah. How am I supposed to remember to eat it? I guess if you're hungry and you like it.

Maybe you don't get bulk. I feel like bulk is like a family of four. Yeah, wow wow you're really really just putting the knife in my heart being like you're alone you don't have i also don't have a family of four i was so vulnerable earlier when i was like my parents are dead and you were like there's that also you're alone i can't believe i signed on to this Zoom to be abused duh I can't believe

you don't have parents you don't have a family of four either that's why your food's getting stale you lonely bitch oh no oh it's true it's true. It's true. Should we do a quiz or do you want to tell me something?

Stop pointing at me like that. I feel so accusatory when you do that let's take a quiz okay we haven't done a quiz in a long good time we haven't we've just been gabbing just gabbing gabbing gabbing okay I'm gonna let you pick

okay because I'm kind and benevolent and still grieving the roast you did on me about not having a family i do think i want to some ice cream flavors and we'll guess if you're an introvert ambivert or extrovert oh i've never heard of an ambivert but i've heard of an amber alert wow this apple is really taking over my body ambivert a person who whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert that makes sense it's like everyone's kind of an ambivert no i would say so yeah you're right i just said yeah you're right before you said anything yeah you don't even think i said i'm so sorry i think i just knew that's what you

were gonna say and i was like yeah i think there's some people who are through and through introverts and through and through extroverts yeah okay um okay we're gonna choose some ice cream flavors choose an ice cream flavor raspberry pumpkin chocolate chip cookie dough white chocolate salted caramel lavender i'm not eating flowers i don't flowers do not belong in food they belong in a lawn or a basket or a vase outside or inside contained not in my food okay god this is hard i don't like any of these. I would say salted caramel for me. Ugh. Sometimes salted caramel is just too salty. Mm-hmm. Interesting. I guess I'm going to say chocolate chip cookie dough, even though the dough is shocking sometimes.

Where I'm like, this shouldn't be. Shocking, like, I wasn't expecting to chew like that? No, I'm always expecting to chew ice cream when there's dollops in it. But like, it's like, oh my God, it's cookie dough. Is this okay? This is forbidden. We're not supposed to eat cookie dough. Forbidden.

It should be cooked. It's not a cooked cookie. It's gotta be. Choose another ice cream flavor. Praline. Honeycomb. Irish coffee. Apricot.

Apple, caramel apple. Strawberry. Okay. Normally I would pick strawberry, but I'm going to go with praline because I had a Baskin and Robbins ice cream cake that was praline flavored. And it was so good. I like couldn't get enough of it. So I was going to Baskin Robbins every couple of weeks and buying praline ice cream cakes just for myself. And I would just slowly eat them out of my freezer.

That sounds good. It was a nice time. I think I'm going gonna do caramel apple i think it's a good oh there's a construction happening oh i see i was like what was that my stomach okay i'm just a little hungry um here's a a different question choose an ice cream flavor butterscotch pistachio cappuccino a fudge brownie gingerbread rocky road what is in rocky road that's like chocolate ice cream with marshmallows peanuts i think whoa i'm never having rocky road but there's peanuts in it i might get into it okay so it's chocolate ice cream nuts and whole or diced marshmallows okay i don't know if i'm into the marshmallow aspect but let's get nutty i'm gonna do rocky road let's get nutty. I'm going to do Rocky Road. Let's get nutty.

I'm going to do... I... Butterscotch. Okay. You like a savory ice cream. I guess I do. I didn't realize that. Choose an ice cream flavor. Dul guess they do. I didn't realize that. Choose an ice cream flavor.

Dulce de leche. Toffee. Coffee hazelnut. That's not what that says. Chocolate hazelnut. Wow. So you said I'm alone, I have no family, no parents, and I can't read? That's rude.

Wow. alone i have no family no parents and i can't read that's rude wow he can't make a simple mistake around sashir i mean i don't i truly saw this scene was like coffee yeah got it coffee i mean it does the picture also looks like it has coffee beans in there. Right? Thank you. Yeah. That was nice. French vanilla. I'll give you that. Bubble gum. Peach.

I used to love bubble gum ice cream. My uncle owned an ice cream shop for a little bit, and I would always get the bubble gum. But as an adult, not for me. But the bubble gum also looks crazy. With the blue. I've actually haven't seen bubble gum look like that before. Blue bubble gum? Is that a thing?

Do you not know Bubblicious bubble gum? Isn't Bubblicious pink? Bubblicious? It comes in blue too, but also comes in pink. I haven't had Bubblicious in so long. I wonder if they still make it. I think so. I feel like I've seen it in so long. I wonder if they still make it. I think so. I feel like I've seen it at the store.

Oh, my God. I'm going to get some. Bubblicious Blue Blowout. That sounds nasty. It does sound nasty. It sounds real, real kinky. I'm going with French Vanilla because vanilla is my favorite flower of ice cream, if you can imagine. It's such a good base to jump off from.

Such a good base. It is. You can add whatever you want. And vanilla really just complements a lot of things. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll do dulce de leche. Okay. Choose. And ice cream flavor.

Blueberry. Tiramisu. Cotton candy. Cookies and cream. Moose tracks. Um, orange. Ooh, this is tough. I love cookies and cream.

Again, a vanilla base. And we're adding Oreos to it because ooh, does it compliment. And then I love orange ice cream that's like an orangey sherbet or like, and then you can add it with vanilla and then you have like orange and cream, like an orange cream skull. Yeah. Yeah. And refreshing.

Mm. Wow. I think I'm going gonna go with cookies and cream this is the best quiz we've ever taken i want ice cream so bad right now um i think i'm gonna do moose tracks oh okay isn't that just like chocolate chunks? I think so. But not quite because that would be chocolate chip, I think. But maybe it's like big chunkums. What? There's peanut butter cups?

Whoa. So it's a magical combination of vanilla ice cream, peanut butter cups, and famous Moose Tracks fudge. We got to go back. I want that. That's all I love. I love peanut butter cups, and famous Moose Tracks fudge. We got to go back. I want that. That's all I love. I love peanut butter cups. I love fudge. Yeah.

I also, yes, I stand by all of that. Whoa, that's nice. Choose an ice cream flavor. Mint chocolate chip. I don't, you know, I also don't know if I knew that there were this many ice cream flavors. I didn't know either, but I think some of these are sorbets. Coconut, I don't think is an ice cream. I think it's a sorbet.

Oh, interesting. Maple pecan. A mocha. Vanilla. Whoa, this is tough for me. Chunky monkey. I love chunky monkey. Oh, but I'm surprised it's the only bananas. I love vanilla.

No, but I do like banana flavoring i'm sick i love like nestle quick banana milk and i love banana runs but an actual banana you want me to peel it like donkey kong get out of here i don't want that in my life i see got it i think i'm gonna go with vanilla though because i love vanilla you gotta stay loyal i wonder why there hasn't been a donkey kong movie i want to be diddy kong that's fine there's also a girl one i don't remember her name though diana kong diana kong Kong Diana Kong very funny they'll be so funny Dina Kong Dina Kong Dana Kong Dainty Kong Dainty Kong it might be Dainty Kong I hope so Dixie Kong Dixie Kong wow isn't she so cute she's very cute oh my god I love all of the girl video game characters. Like Amy Rose is so cute.

She's the girl from Sonic. I just, they just like cute them up and put a bow on it and I'm sold. They really are like, here's the girl version. Do you like it? And now has a bow. And guess what?

I'm here for it. I love it. Yeah. I will pick mint chocolate chip you hate it i kind of like mint and chocolate together like an andy's mint ew that's sick i feel like you're like oh refreshing mint oh i'm dirtying up my mouth again with the chocolate that's nasty choose another ice cream flavor mango oh chocolate chocolate black cherry what rum raisin matcha what what passion fruit these are my least favorites but i will go with chocolate because sometimes chocolate is good i think i'm gonna do

mango wow you're getting wild out here in these streets yeah yeah yeah that's me again wild yeah choose one final ice cream Wow, we've made it to the end. Pineapple. Lemon. Strawberry cheesecake. Chocolate chip. Banana. Chocolate peanut butter. I'm going with chocolate chip.

I do like a little crunch sometimes. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I'm going to try strawberry cheesecake. Ooh, okay. I know. So this is you, Sashir? I think that's me. I'm an introvert.

Based on your ice cream choices, it seems like you're an introvert. You love your alone time, but when you are interested in being around others, you prefer to stick to smaller groups. That is so true. Yeah. Thanks, BuzzFeedfeed i am also an introvert oh interesting i don't know about that i don't really love my time alone i love calling people and i love just dropping by people's homes unannounced i literally just texted Marcy, our friend Marcy, and I was like,

man, I really miss you living by me because sometimes I'll drive past your house and be like, I can't honk. She's not there anymore. Aw, that's fun. That's one of my favorite things to do is drive by someone's house and text them

and be like, can you hear honking? It's me. I feel like you might be an ambivert or like, like a introverted extrovert. Cause I do think you have introverted tendencies, but you're definitely extrovert. You know,

I think you, you might be right because sometimes I can't speak up for myself. It's the strangest thing ever. You like, we're, we would can stand at a bar and you're like excuse me oh never mind uh i was a fool for even not trying to talk to you i just don't want to be branded as like the annoying person at the bar remember when that man touched my necklace and you

were like no and i was like well he's just looking yeah you just like clamped your hands hands together and tightened up and let him touch you and i was like get off my friend stop touching her boy oh boy i think you're right i'm an ambivert i think so you're an amber alert i'm an Amber Alert. Woo, woo, woo. Where's Nicole? Wait, are Amber Alerts just for children? I believe so. I know for like the elderly, it's a silver alert. And then if it's an adult, I don't know. I feel like I read somewhere that like for different ethnicities, there's different alerts. Oh my goodness.

I didn't know. But I could be wrong. I think I saw that on the internet and you know how the internet be there's like a black alert i think it's called an ebony alert and no i might be lying right that's that's why we've never gotten those alerts it goes with black i've never seen that text once me either imagine getting an ebony alert i'd be like i still get this magazine no i don't want this to subscribe to this get out of here oh my god this is new gavin newsom this is 2023 so it's an ebony alert for black children and young women i feel like oh no word used i also think there's another one for um indigenous children too oh interesting um

this is wild but i didn't make this up it is wild i can't wait to lose anthony a feather alert no no it was signed into law in 2022 no i mean i just don't think that was i don't know why what the fuck who picked the names who picked the names an old white man i'm sure is that one for hispanic kids i don't think so but i'm scared as to what it could be i'm really worried oh okay they were like that's a step too far yeah we don't even want to touch that isn't that wild wait judith what is the gray alert oh that's combative or violent patient interesting well what's a purple alert that's two under that's you that's if you go missing oh my god i mean it's used to assist the location of missing adults suffering from a mental or cognitive disability i do have adhd i guess yeah yeah that would count oh what's a pink alert oh that's if

an infant or a child has been abducted but that's an amber alert oh this is to a i guess like a like a baby as opposed to a oh i see that's so funny they're like pink because you just came out of a pussy amber you finished cooking also i thought amber was i didn't think they named it amber because of the color i thought it was amber like like some girl named amber got kidnapped at some point that is correct oh she went missing i don't know if she survived. We'll find out now. But I believe it was her parents who pushed it and then it became the Amber Alert

because her name was Amber. Oh, so she did not survive. No, that sucks. I guess back in the day, people would get abducted and go missing and you would have no way of telling the public, like, we'll be on the lookout they used to put pictures on milk cartons which seems like it would take forever yeah i never buy

milk i would never be helpful in finding a child and with how many people are lactose intolerant yeah you'd have to put it on almond milk or oat milk um and then it's like, you can't dirty up my oat milk. I can't see if it's oat or almond. Well, should we help people? Yes. Let's see who alerted us. What kind of alerts are happening? Okay. Email.

Hi, best friend gang. I have a dilemma that I could really use your help with. I have a best friend. I hope it's the woman whose partner is that dog on those billboards. I hope that's who she's talking about. My issue is that she won't leave her dog at home. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. It's just every time I see the name Veronica,

I think about that brunette lady and her like trusty dog that she she does law with her trusty dog i mean it is astounding uh okay so veronica who i met through work and we have gotten very close in the last year or so. For context, we were both in our early 20s. She is Dominican. I am a white queer man. We work in a space that is owned and operated by other gay white men much older in their 60s. There's one person who has been a supervisor at this company for almost 10 years.

Again, another gay white man in his mid-30s. Let's call him Jim. So when I first started Jim, Veronica and I, along with a few other people got pretty close. We would chat all day at work about common interests, go out to drinks, go see Broadway shows together after work. One day at work, after about four to five months of this, we had a celebrity client come in for a meeting who is a black woman. Jim came up to me while she was in the office at a closed door meeting with the bosses and said, wow, this whole time I thought we were talking about insert different, but some, some black

female. Okay. Um, I said, no, Jim, it's been this other black female who is the person we're talking about this whole time and jim responded well they're both black women they are all the same i was shocked that he'd say that and responded with jesus christ jim you can't say that and he chuckled like he got away with something and walked away to about before i just want to say i feel like j Jim is another name I've seen on a insurance or a law sign. And I wonder if this person was driving and saw billboards and was like, Veronica, Jim. Anyway, I was paying attention. Cut to about six months later, Jim has stopped talking to me or acknowledging my existence in the office for months now.

Which I was frustrated about at first, but honestly, after learning how terrible of a person he actually is, I don't really mind. The dilemma is that Jim is Veronica's direct supervisor and she has to interact with him all day, every day. Because of that fact, I decided to refrain from telling her what he said. So she didn't feel any type of way towards him, towards someone she has to interact with for her job. However, she has started coming to me about the racist things, the microaggressions that have been coming from other people in the room near her and from Jim, especially. For more context, Veronica is the only person of color in any sort of managerial role at this job. So she puts up with a lot of bullshit from white people in the room on a daily

basis. I'm starting to wonder if this makes me a bad friend that I've been keeping this from her. It was originally a choice as to not hurt her feelings and make her movements throughout the office less terrible than they already are. But now I feel like I'm hiding it from her. Anyways, I hope this all made sense. I love every bit of advice you can give. Um,

P.S. Okay. This is so funny. Cause I like made a point to be like, cause we're recording double today. I was like, I have to tell us this year about knuckles. It's great.

Um, this is ps i would love to know how nicole feels about the new knuckle series in paramount plus i'll tell you more in the next episode but i will say it's fucking great and i just texted adam pally to tell him what specifically i liked about it like an insane person um but anyway this is such an easy fix be like hey girl this man said x y and z i didn't tell you because i knew you had to interact with him and i thought that would be better but now you're telling me all this shit this man sucks yeah just add to the shit talking yeah tear jim down like yeah and he did get him get him yeah because also even if she knew that information i don't know what would have changed between then and now especially if it was truly an isolated incident not that i forgive racism i if he's an older man older people tend to say some wild shit

and sometimes you don't hear another peep about it but like if it's a consistent thing be like girl he said this to me i don't talk to him anymore he ignores me um and then it's like if other people in the office you should be like girl let's get a club together and fucking go to hr with like time stamped evidence and then have it be a fun game of microaggressions where you timestamp and write it down and track his ass track his ass get rid of jim yeah solved so awesome the next one's gonna be a voice memo but they initially left a really long one beforehand so i'm just gonna set it up for y'all so basically this person has a friend that they built a relationship for three years with. They both go to the same intense program together, but she's feeling as though her friend is pulling away. And there was one incident that she's trying to get advice over where she invited her to go

somewhere, but she kind of caught her at a different place. So let's listen. I invited her to go somewhere, but she kind of caught her at a different place. So let's listen. Hi, my name is Ariana again. I just called in and it got cut off this sentence. So here's me going back into it. So fast forward back to today. We made plans to go drinking.

She said no, like it's time to study, whatever. And I'm like, all right, I get it. But, you know, like it sucks. This is the fifth time that she's canceled on me, so then I go and order her takeout, and I go pick up the takeout, and who do I see leaving the restaurant with somebody because they just had dinner? the restaurant with somebody because they just had dinner. Abigail. So my question to you guys is, I really don't want to fight and I don't want to seem like a crazy stalker even though I'm not stalking her. I just happened to get lunch from the, I mean, dinner from the same place. But do I bring that up to her? And do I say, hey, like,

you canceled on me, but you still went out to dinner. I just feel like she's still some type of way and I'm not being let in on this, even though I'm in this friendship. I don't know. What do I do? Is that shady? Is it not shady is it justified is it not justified I just want to know how to proceed because I'm a little stuck because I don't want to fight I really do not want to fight with this person but also I feel like my time my investment in this friendship is not taking into consideration and I'm not very kind thing to do to somebody you know anyway let me know what you're seeing bye i think it's okay to like i like i i want you to bring it up because it's not fair to you um our color uh i think a good way to do that though is like hey i'm not like coming at you or like attacking you or anything but like did you

double book yourself that day that we said that we were going to go out and then you we didn't but then you went out with somebody else is that what happened and then they can explain themselves otherwise i feel like if you're like you went out with someone and not me i feel like that feels attacky but i don't know i could could be wrong. How do you feel? Yeah. I guess I kind of feel like I'm missing a lot of information from the call. But I think, yeah, you could just like bring it up in a way. It's like, oh, I happened to see you when I was getting food. Did you end up being available but didn't tell me or I don't know because ask questions I guess and see um what they say but if they're being weird they're being weird and

maybe you don't need that energy anyway yeah I do get it, though, because it's like, oh, I don't want to give up on this. Like I like this person. But I do think talking is is key. But if they are like canceling on you a lot and you're not like close, close, close, close, close, because I don't know how close they are. It might be like cut your losses and like this person isn't, you know, a ride or die or whatever. But my feelings would truly be hurt if a friend I made plans with them and then they went out with somebody else. And then never mentioned it or something, because I've had it happen. And they're like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry I fucked up. And I've done it to people because I'm terrible with my schedule. But I always like if someone like like my friend, I was supposed to go to her birthday party.

I wrote down the entirely wrong date in my calendar and then she was like hey are you coming and i was like and i was sitting on my other friend's couch um and i was like i'm never gonna make it to west hollywood by the time this dinner is over and i was like i am so sorry i wrote down the wrong date um i really didn't mean to do that and then i sent her flowers because I really did fuck up and I was really sorry about it. So maybe I feel like if you talk to them and give them

an opportunity to explain themselves, either they'll be remorseful and be like, sorry, or they'll be like, bitch, kick rocks. I didn't want to hang out with you. I did that on purpose. Bye. Yeah, bye. Yeah. Yeah. I think asking questions might be it. I didn't want to hang out with you I did that on purpose bye bye I think asking questions might be

an easier way to approach it and see what they say yeah solved solved can you see my arm flapping you can't see my arm flapping in zoom well actually my thing okay now i can see it

my thing was frozen yeah did i tell you what my little cousin did she's uh my little cousin's five and she was swinging my arm fat. And I thought it was pretty funny. But then I was like, I got to tell her that people might not like it. And I was like, people might not like this, even though I think it's funny. And she went, does it hurt your feelings? And I was like, yes. And then she goes, okay, let's play school. And I said, all right. And she goes, I used to hit, but I don't hit anymore. Would you like to be my friend? Because I think the arm flapping was like adjacent to hitting in her mind.

That someone was like, people don't like to be hit. Anyway, I was just flapping my arm and it made me laugh. Okay. Hi, Nicole. I'm Sasheer. I have a dilemma that I could really use your advice on. I have a friend who I will call A, who is getting married in a few months. A and I became very close

in university where we both studied to be teachers. And I consider her one of my best friends for several, several years. However, in the past couple of years, life has gotten in the way and we sort of drifted apart. We still see each other every few months or so, usually in a group hang with our other university friends. There's no bad blood. We just don't see each other as often as we used to. Before A had met her now fiance, she had always told me that she wanted to get married on New Year's Eve. I guess she just liked the idea of having a big party and having that as her anniversary date. It's also because she didn't want to have a summer wedding, but she wanted to have time off around her wedding. So as a teacher, you are limited to having holidays only during the winter or spring

break. So sure enough, when A and her fiance got engaged, they booked their wedding venue for this upcoming New Year's Eve. Now here's my dilemma. My boyfriend and all his friends are turning 30 this year. My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years now. We're both teachers. This is important later. And I become really close with his group of friends. We all live very close by each other. So we hang out a lot. I would say a minimum of once a week. So far, more often than I see A.

To celebrate their 30th birthdays, they decided they wanted to do a group trip to Cuba. Since my boyfriend, another one of our friends, and I are all teachers, the only time we can go on vacation is during our winter break. The group has decided to go away to Cuba for New Year's Eve this year or for New Year's this year. I love A and I would love to be at her wedding. But a trip to Cuba with our friends sounds amazing. I also need to note that the only one of my other friends from the university will be at A. But I also need to note that only one of my other friends from university will be at a wedding. So I won't really know anyone else there. My boyfriend also really

wants to go to Cuba instead of the wedding. Another reason I want to go to the trip, go on this trip is because we want to do as much traveling as we can before we settle down and start a family. I don't know how to bring this up with a, I think it would really hurt her feelings. If I told her I wanted to go to Cuba instead instead of her wedding any advice that you can provide on how to handle this is greatly appreciated i love the show and the laughs you provide without fail every week oh thank you i don't think you have to tell anyone why you're not going i think you just be like yeah sorry i'm not able to go and that's it like i mean i guess because you guys aren't close either so it's not like she needs a reason i don't think um or just like oh i have a scheduling conflict or like i'm taking another

trip but you don't just say i'd rather go to cuba and go to your wedding yeah that would be awful um but i will say if you have already rsvp, yes, and you're going to bail to go on a trip, that would make that if I found that out, I would I would be hurt whether we were close, close or like passing in the wind friends. So I think if you RSVP'd, I think that's like a little bit more of a conversation. Like, I mean, it's May now, so it's like she's not losing money on you because she can just whatever, invite somebody else. But yeah, it was just to explain. It's like, oh, I'm so sorry. There is an actual conflict. But yeah, it also doesn't seem like you like this person.

Like you really like you don't want to go to this wedding. Yeah. And you'd rather go to Cuba with your boyfriend, which is fine. Yeah, go to Cuba. Yeah. But I don't think you go to this wedding yeah and you'd rather go to cuba with your boyfriend which is fine cuba yeah but i think you have to explain much people know drop out of things all the time and i think she also probably wasn't even really like she doesn't need you here you're not in the wedding party like it'd be nice yeah but it's okay yeah if you were the bridesmaid i'd be like you gotta go yeah but it's okay to be like oh it's my partner's 30th that's important and that's all you need to say yeah if you have an rsvp there's no

shame in the game of just being like nah not going solved if you want to go to Cuba, you can email NicoleAndSashir at gmail.com or text us your plans at 424-645-7003. If you want to wear any of our faces on your trip to Cuba,

you can go to get some merch at podswag.com slash bestfriends. If you want some light reading for the beaches of Cuba, we have transcripts of our new episodes.

Check them out on our show page at yourwolf.com. Lastly, if you have time to spare while you're in Cuba, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That is the easiest way to support the show. Mmm, Cuban cigars. Adios. I don't know anything about Cuba. Mmm, Cuban cigars. Oh, Cuban sandwiches. Okay. From cigars to sandwiches. Adios, Cuba. Oh, my God. Adios, Cuba.