Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Re-Release: Sasheer Saw Usher in Vegas! - LIVE

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

Howdy Friends! Enjoy this re-release of Sasheer & Nicole LIVE from Largo @ The Coronet! Hot off their Vegas Girls Trip Sasheer and Nicole tell us all about their adventures. Sasheer screamed with excitement for a stripper during Usher’s contest. Nicole drove a Lamborghini on a race track. Sasheer got trash in her eye during the Criss Angel magic show. Nicole makes people do a standing ovation for Cirque Du Soleil performers. Sasheer surprised Nicole at the Flamingo Casino and Hotel. Nicole got the Magic Mike experience she always wanted. Sasheer also got a Magic Mike experience, this time with Ester. Plus, we answer a question from someone who can't fit their old couch in a new apartment and audience questions! Sources:@20:23 – Criss Angel MindFreak Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5gK2MxGR0M Here is the quiz we took:https://www.buzzfeed.com/hwarrington/rat-cocktail-quiz Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions and “Is this weird” suggestion at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi friends, it's the sheer and Nicole here this holiday season. We're taking some time off. We're sharing another best friends episode where we recorded live at the Largo Theater in Los Angeles. We shared all about our Vegas trip last year from my long awaited striptease and magic Mike to the insane time we had at the chris angel show i can assure you it was amazing have a listen and enjoy welcome to the best friends podcast please give a warm welcome to n Byer and Sashu Zameya! Oh no, are you okay? Drink up. Drink up. Oh no. Oh, are you all right?

Something went down the wrong pipe. Oh no. It's a horrible way to come out. Oh no. I was choking on the walk. Oh, were you? I'm okay though. Why didn't you say stop the walk? I guess that would've been insane.

No, no, no. It's fine. Thanks for coming out. That's Nicole Byer. That's Tashir Zameda. And this is a live recording of our podcast called Best Friends.

Yeah. Yeah, I know what we're doing. Yeah. We're very in tune. Look at these sweaters that Nicole brought. So she was like, can you send a picture? And I was like, a surprise is not what you want. I'll give you the colors and the animals because

i had three sweaters so i said pink blue black monkey cat fish because i knew she was gonna bring something for us to match and i just wanted to know what pants to wear and i was like can i get an idea and then she was like monkey fish cat and i was like uh i I get an idea? And then she was like, monkey, fish, cat. And I was like, I guess I'll go black, cats then. You did good. Yeah, this is good. The green in your shoes kind of picks up the green in the palm tree. I'm so glad. And for the people who are a little further back, the buttons have bananas on them.

And then at the bottom, the monkeys are hanging out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I guess for people who are listening to this. Yes. Pink monkeys. The sweater is pink. Yes.

There are monkeys on it. On the bottom, hanging out. Buttons are bananas. Buttons are bananas. There's palm trees, little sequins. It'sons or bananas. Palm trees. Palm trees. Little sequins. It's a good time. It's a good time.

Yeah, it's from this company. I think it's called Quacker. No. Quacker? I think, look at the tag. Why don't you look at the tag? You give me a difficult task. Because my wig.

Sorry. Oh my God. Imagine Stashir just started stripping. It's not from Quacker. It says, Jack be quick. Oh. Oh. Oh, man. I guess there is a Q in there.

Well, I thought they were all from the same company. I swear one of them is Quacker. Wait, are these vintage or are these new? These are vintage, friend. Well, then, so is the company... There's a company. I think... Jordan, can you? We have Jordan. Jordan on the keys today.

Jordan on the. No, Jordan. Jammin. Jammin. Jammin Jordan. Jammin Jordan. Jordan on the Jeeves. Oh. Jordan on the Jeeves. Who uses Jeeves? Jordan does. I do. Jordan is sponsored by Big Jeeves. If you type anything into AskJee's.com, I'm gonna walk

off the stage. Okay, can you look up Quacker Factory? I'm pretty sure that's the name of the brand, Quacker Factory. See? Okay.

Oh, and they still sell on QVC. What does QVC stand for? Quality? Quality? Very. Very cool. Cool. Yeah.

Now we're looking up what does QVC stand for? Jordan's jamming. Jordan's jamming on those keys. Oh, no. Quality value convenience. Ew. We don't like it. Ew, who came up with that?

Quality value convenience. Some man. Ew, I don't like it so sheer. Not one bit. No. Mm-mm. We just got back from Vegas this morning. Boy, we had an adventure.

We did everything you could possibly do in Vegas. Everything. Except gamble. We didn't gamble once. Yes, I did. I lost $20 in 30 seconds. Oh, that's true. Yeah.

I put it in the... There was a nasty little slot machine with a little pig on it and what was it was it raking bacon yeah yeah raking bacon and i kept passing and i was like so sheer i gotta play it and then it took my money yeah so quick really confusing i don't does anyone here know how to play slots you No. Oh, there's a gentle wave in the front. Can you go to that microphone and explain to us how to play the slots? I need to know. I want to rake that bacon.

Okay, so like. Wait, what's your name? My name is Matt. Hi, Matt. Hi. I didn't expect to be on mic. Okay. It's okay.

So there's like different slots. There's like ones where it's like high volatile, where it's like one of those that's just going to take your money, but the payout is going to be really big. So like those you put like a lot of money in, but you could do like little small bets. And all you want are like those big bonus games where it's like woo-woo and like wheels and whatnot.

And then you have like the like old school, like ka-ching, ka-ching ones. Yeah. Those ones you can play with like a high bet and play for a while and you'll get some back and some. Nothing you've said made sense. It doesn't make sense. So, okay, is there a strategy?

There's not really a strategy. I'm like obsessed with this on TikTok. All I do is watch slots on TikTok. I swear to God. I love this. It's such a niche thing and like I'm obsessed with this on TikTok. All I do is watch slots on TikTok. I swear to God. I love this. It's such a niche thing and like I'm obsessed with it and I've seen the rake and bacon one I've watched that.

Isn't the pig so cute? It's so cute. And then have you seen the ones with like the yellow and blue and red pig and they get bigger and bigger and bigger and like if it's like really big. You're deep in this. No, it's like it's fully like my ADHD, like go to like,

swear to God, they're like 10 minute long videos. And I'll sit there and just be like, ding, ding, ding. But what's on the video? Is it people playing?

It's literally people, somebody playing the slot machine and like watching it. That's like when kids watch other kids unbox videos. Oh, okay. But that's sad. This is fun. This is fun.

That's like so sad to me. Like a child being like, what's this child gonna open that I don't have? I thought that was like to review the product. Oh, I truly thought it was to be like,

I wish I could. No, I thought it was like, oh, I'm thinking about buying an Xbox. So they're like, here's the Xbox. It does this. And I do that.

And this is what the packaging's like. I truly thought it was just like, didn't get you shit but watch this this is like such a big indication i shouldn't be a mom wait i have a question yes so you said do small bets so like hit the lowest thing over and over again yeah so they'll be like anywhere from like 50 cents to like five dollars right So if it's like one of those like big bonus ones, like I think the rake and bacon one is, you want to do like the little small ones. And then you want to get that big bonus thing.

Cause that's where the payout is. You're not, how do you get to the bonus? It's all numbers and luck. It's, it's luck. Cause people stare at it. Like they're strategizing,

but I'm like, it's, it's a, it's a screen. So in the rabbit hole that I've gone into they're like if you look at the bone if the major bonus is really high or like the grand is really high there's a really high chance it's gonna go off but if it's really low that means it's not gonna go off but it's all bullshit I mean to be honest have you how much have money have you won doing slots? Nothing huge. Maybe like 400, 500 bucks.

That's something. That's a good amount. But in LA Orange County economy, that's... It's a sandwich. It's a sandwich. It's a sandwich. That's that smoothie from Erewhon. Yeah.

It's so much money. But it's very good. Wait, what is your name again? Matt? Matt. Thank you, Matt matt you're welcome thank you um but the first day we got in the pool and for whatever reason the bellagio were fancy had three lifeguards for three feet of water yeah yeah there was no need for a lifeguard

but they didn't whistle a lot. So much. Yeah. And then a man, he backed his butt into the jets in the hot tub. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. We like made eye contact as he was just like wiggling against the jet. And I was like, Sashir, did you see that? She's like, nah.

I missed it completely. I think he shat in the hot tub. I think he might have too. He came by himself, wiggled, and then left. And then we saw Usher. We saw Usher Raymond. My God. That's so good.

You guys, if you get the chance, go see Usher. Yeah. So like, he didn't wear any costumes that were breathable he like started off in a three-piece satin suit and then changed into leather yeah and then closed in i think it's neoprene which is like a it's a nice thick fabric that neon suit yeah i was like what the you stink like because he never stops moving no he was moving the whole time and he's on skates at one point yes yes it's and then there's strippers oh they were so good oh my god there was one with the juiciest butt and she did a thing where she like clapped her like feet together upside down

and i was like we all have to clap she's working so hard yes and then she was also like like holding the pole with her knees and then balancing her yes her torso off and this are beating her chest yes and i was like i truly was like if she could come in the crowd and kill me that's fine yeah murder me she had an air that was very like scary and i was like i was terrifying i loved her yeah i found her on instagram it took me a minute But like I found her and now I follow her and now she's my pole-spiration because she's terrifying. Yeah.

She does this thing where she like tumbles down the pole and lands in a split and then she's like, ah! And I'm like, ah! And that's the kind of stripper I want to be. Yeah. Like people are terrified and throw money at me because they're like, I don't know what she's going to do to me. Oh, she was so good.

It was very good. Also, like 10 minutes in, so she leaned over and she was like, is it over? That seemed like the final number. I was like, no. It opened with a medley of hits. And I was like, oh my God, Usher, where are we going to go from here? Like, we have an hour and a half left. Like, you're going to blow your load. He did it did it i did but he didn't no he sustained the whole time

oh it was like it was so good quite a catalog oh my god when he did climax i was like so horny yeah oh my god it was so good it was really good and then he told us that he started at 11 and has been in the game for 22 years and i was like usher you're not 33 i was really confused on the math you're not like you have vegas residency you're not 33 and we refuse to look up how old he is we're not gonna figure it out we still have it and jordan don is. We're not going to figure it out. We still have it. And Jordan, don't you dare. Don't you dare do it. Don't you dare. Don't you dare.

Also, people got shouted out in the crowd. Gucci Mane was there with his wife. Nia Long was there. Nia Long was there. Kim, no last name. We don't know if it was little or big ass Kim. You tickled yourself with that i really did because it came off the dome so quick yeah um and then who else was there i feel like there was one more person i can't remember i can't remember either but we were like usher we're here too

he did not care no we didn't let him know no we sure didn't and then the funniest thing happened during the concert so there's a camera person who follows him around so like everyone has a good view of Usher

and he came so close to this woman and she like pulled out her phone and Usher is here she's holding her phone and the camera operator gets behind her

and it says storage full it was really funny it was so i screamed she's like oh my god this is my chance and it's gotten can't no the phone was like bitch no it was so funny and he came really close so close to us but not really he was like so close but so far he like there's a moment where he came in the crowd and he was like up on the dj booth and we're like if you just come come one section to the left we'll be here he never did he never did that's okay it's okay we probably would have died probably probably would have passed right away yeah

oh my god and then i was so confused because some people didn't stand. They were seated. But a lot of people were standing and I was like, so like, what are you, you're like listening to Usher and looking at butts? Like, how is that fun? I don't know.

Or maybe they couldn't stand. Uh-oh, I'm an ableist. Wow, cancel me in my monkey sweater. How dare you in your monkey sweater. And then the second day, we went and drove cars. I got to drive a fucking Ferrari around a fucking racetrack. I was the only black person. And the only woman in your group.

Yeah. Yeah, it was wild yeah I was with the rest of the wives like go get it go get it honey you do the thing with the machine I don't know how to do it that's so funny

you were my wife that day we were all filming the racetrack like go get it yes yes that's mine in the red one You were my wife that day. I was. We were all filming the racetrack like, go get it. Yes. Yes. That's mine in the red one. God, that's so funny. And my coach's name was Big Mac.

That's what he said. He said, I'm Big Mac. And I said, that's a choice. And he told me that I was really good. And I walked in. And I said, I'm Big Mac. And I said, that's a choice. And he told me that I was really good. And I walked in. And I said, I'm a fucking race car driver. Like a child. I was so happy.

Yeah. Oh, my God. It was maybe the best day of my life. It was very fun. Then we go-karted. Then we did go-karts. And that was very fun. She somehow beat me.

Yeah, I was 12. And you were 16 something like that yeah but like i was in the in the stall first doesn't that mean i'm the winner or no i was in their third so i'm the third i i don't know how they calculate it me either i don't know i was really upset i'm sorry i was like, I was going fast. You were going so fast. So fast. Yeah. I love going fast. You were going so fast. And then after that, we had dinner with all of our best friends at this restaurant called Le Cirque. Yeah.

Ooh. It was funny because we were like running late because for a racetrack, they were going real slow. And it took forever for us to finish the process. And then we like had 15 minutes, like get ready for this fancy dinner. And then the restaurant calls my phone and they're like, she's like, hello. And I was like, hi. And she's like, how's your night? And I was like, are you calling from the restaurant? And she's like, yes, I am. And I was like, we're coming. We're walking through the casino right now. We're so close. And she's like, okay, well, this is a dining experience for an hour and a half.

And you told us that you have a show to go to in an hour. So, and she kept talking. And I was like, shut up. Like, we're going to be there. It was wild. I was like, is she going to be on the phone the whole time from the elevator to the restaurant? Almost. And then we get there.

And I was like hi i was talking to you on the phone and she's like yes okay so i did talk to someone and it does seem like we can fit you in but we will have to and i was like great cool give us a menu and oh my god when we told the waiter we only had like a short amount of time he started speaking faster yeah everything was in double time everyone's like through the menus they're like give us here wine and then i felt like i had to eat fast and i was like shuffling food in my mouth and i was like i don't have to do that and then we were out of there like 40 minutes it was like record time it was so fast but they were all so nice to us it was wonderful they kept giving us chocolate it was really nice to us. It was wonderful. They kept giving us chocolate. It was really nice.

And then the dessert was my favorite dessert I've ever had in my whole life. It was a ball. It was a chocolate. It was a chocolate ball. It was a chocolate ball. And then they poured hot chocolate on it. And then there was ice cream in the middle. Yeah, it was good.

Right? And I did that. No, I didn't ooh softly. I was just like, oh my God. Yes. So loud in this very fancy restaurant. Yeah. But then everybody loved us.

Everyone really loved us. And they're like, come back next time and get the full experience. And I was like, I guess we have to. We do. I love it here. We love it. The like ceiling was tented. I don't, there was scarves. Like a woman was like, my scarves.

I don't know. Well, I think it was like to be like a circus tent. Oh, fuck. The circ. was like my scarves i don't know well i think it was like to be like a circus tent oh fuck because the circ man yeah i truly was like the drapery and then we went to chris angel mind freak and i'll tell you something. My mind was freaked. My mind was absolutely freaked.

Yeah. I would die for Chris Angel. And this is why we decided to go. Can you look up Chris Angel dismembers people? Maybe.

Yeah. Or like like cut someone in half. Yeah. Cut someone in half. it's a wild video that sashir sent me and i was like sold we have to go he had a um if you don't know chris angela is the hottest magician in history yeah vanishing magazine says he's the number one magician of our time. This is a real thing. From Vanishing Magazine. He had a show on...

Spike TV? Spike TV. The boys channel? Yeah, TV for men. Which is ironically my favorite channel because it had Ink Master. Oh, yeah. I loved Ink Master. Yeah.

Okay. Bloopers. There's bloopers? What do you want me to find exactly okay uh god what was it called so he's like in a park no that's not maybe maybe go to youtube yeah and then uh maybe i feel like it's one of the most searched ones that i yeah maybe yeah chris angel mind freak and see what happens I feel like it's one of the most searched ones that I came across. Yeah, maybe, yeah, Criss Angel Mind Freak. Let's see what happens. No.

No. No. No. Maybe, okay, body. No, no, no, no. Yes, Criss rips bodies apart. Chris rips bodies apart. It's truly the wildest thing I have ever seen.

This is the era when like magicians would go on the street with a baseball cap and be like, I'm going to blow your mind. And then they did. And I got to say, Chris, the show started late because of a parade. And 10 minutes into the show, he had done like a couple of tricks. He was like, the show started late because of the parade, not because I'm on drugs.

And I was like... I wasn't thinking that. Not thinking that at all now these are strangers he doesn't know these people he doesn't know these people it's magic they're laying on a bench

they don't know what's gonna happen they have no idea so there's two people a male leaning person and a female leaning person laying on a bench cross legs arms up

there's cell phone cam A female leaning person laying on a bench. Cross legs, arms up. There's cell phone cam. Okay, so now two other strangers are grabbing those strangers' wrists and feet. Yeah, and feet. His ankles. Oh, yeah, grab his ankles. Hold it just like that. So they're on the bench. Don't let go.

Wrists being held. Feet being held. Okay, now another couple's coming. They don't know that woman. They're the same thing. They're all strangers. Feet being held. Okay. Now another couple's coming. They don't know that woman. They do the same thing. These are all strangers. Yeah, they're all strangers. These happen to be at park.

Okay. This whole. Okay. Grabbing the wrists, grabbing the ankles. Cross legs because she's a woman and she's wearing a skirt. Yeah, gotta cross those legs. Okay. Okay.

Just like that. Relax. Okay. Now he's looking around because he's like, I don't know what I'm doing. Okay. And then he tells the lady

to relax, close her eyes. And then he taps on her on her torso twice, three times. And then... She's apart! Her torso is not touching! And then everyone in the background...

What? He picked her up! What did you say? No! He dropped the torso! He fell down. What? And this is a clean cut.

There's no blood. No blood, nothing. She's running away. And now he's putting the woman's torso on the man's legs. People are running for their lives. The people running away are so funny. He's not okay. And this man looks sick as hell.

This torso man who's getting put on this woman's body. Now he's retouching. Oh, no. That he's retouching. Oh, no! That's not where that goes. He doesn't look good. Because he doesn't have the right legs on his body. He's having a hard time.

I love this woman creeping up with the pink phone. She's like, I gotta get this. Oh, no. She's so confused. She's like, I gotta get this. Oh no. She's so confused. She's like, cargo shorts? Where's my skirt?

Dude, you got my legs. You got my toes. And then he walked away. He changed these people's lives forever. And just walked away.

So Shira sent me that video and I was like, but. I need to see more of what anything this man does I want to see. I'm obsessed with him. Yeah. He didn't do that. Unfortunately, he didn't do that trick. But he did levitate and like walk around and we spent hours trying to figure out how he did it. I have no idea.

We don't know. And that's why it's Vanished Magazine's best trick of ever. Ever. He's a mind freak. Yeah. Yeah, man. There was a moment where he was in a straight jacket and he's upside down hanging above the audience. This is his first trick.

Yeah. And he's like, I'm going to get out of the straight jacket and we're like cool and then they had these fans on stage and they blew trash in our face like they just blew a bunch of paper at the audience and we were like no and then magically he's out of the straight jacket and i was like i couldn't see anything was the trick you just blew trash in our faces. So we couldn't see anything. Like the rapper in my eye was a bit distracted from the straitjacket thing. And then he did a trick where he disappeared. And then I thought a large woman was rushing past us.

But it was Criss Angel. Like in a cloaked hoodie. In a cloaked hoodie. Runs into the audience. So it's funny because to everybody else he just appeared there. But to us we were like, this woman. we saw him like scurry past audience members to sit down. And also he starts the show with like a demon on stage. Oh, yeah.

And there was a child in front of us. I was like, no, it's not a kid friendly show. No. And they should say that. I think they should. He made a bunch of dick jokes and was like, ah, kids.

But honestly, I would die for Criss Angel. I'm like obsessed with him. Yeah, I would go back. Ugh. It was very fun. And then we saw Cirque du Soleil. This is day two still.

We did everything. We saw, oh, the Cirque du Soleil show that's in water. And tonally, it was so different from Mind Freak. We did everything. We saw, oh, the Cirque du Soleil show that's in water. And tonally, it was so different from Mind Freak. My brain had a hard time catching up. I was like, yeah.

I was like, where's the Nickelback music? No one's throwing trash in my face. There's just like nice clowns on stage. Yeah. I don't know what the show is about at all. No clue. I paid attention to every second. I could not give you a coherent thought pattern about that show,

but it was so beautiful. It was really pretty. There was so much water. And I said to Sashir later, I was like, because like we were up top. So like the stage is here and then there's like a huge pool and then you know the sides of the stage or whatever I was like so sheer how do they like start in the water how do they get in the water and she was like well I think there's an opening it just like goes further than you think and I was like you don't think it's just a door they open

and they're like hurry get in there After I said that, I was like, am I dumb? Am I stupid? It's okay. But yeah, at the end of the show, the people didn't stand up and clap. After people were like contorting for an hour and a half, and it was their second show of the night. So I stood up and then I was like, stand up, peasants. This is yours, like you can't call these people peasants yeah as we're in our like vip area stand up peasants i demand it well they needed to stand up they did such extraordinary things yeah it was great god it was so pretty and then

we went to sleep yes because i tried to go to a strip club and you said, I don't know how many more minutes I'll be away. Yeah. I was going to be down for it, but then we went outside and the taxi line was so long and I was like,

I can't imagine being upright for any longer. And then the last day, what did we do? We got brunch. Yeah. Oh, we got massages. Got massages.

We got a little sleepy. We lay down for like 30 minutes and we got brunch yeah we oh we got massages massages we got a little sleepy we lay down for like 30 minutes and we got dinner oh yeah yeah we went to mama fuko which is so delicious and then we went to meow wolf which i kept calling where panther yes um just not right um and it was so fun it was very fun it was wild there was like a scavenger hunt this lady was like it takes a couple hours i was like we don't have a couple hours i gotta go see magic mike we're doing every event you possibly can in vegas so then we went and saw magic mike and i finally got what i deserved because last time we went i think a solid five years ago so she was stolen from our seats and taken to a piano and a man played it and she spun around and everyone stared and then our other friend hooked up with a dancer and then i got nothing

i stole a glass because the show gave me nothing yeah uh you know magic mike they're strippers they dance on you and someone whispered do you want to be a piano girl and i was like hell yeah and and then i sat on the piano and he played in between my legs on the keys i mean it was the best and then nico Nicole was crying in the audience. Couldn't be happy for me. Although you did say, I'm in a better place now where I would be happy for you. I did, but during Cirque du Soleil,

there was a piano on stage at one point. And so she was like, that's where I like to sit. But then it sunk into the water and I was like, and that's where I'd like you to go and we laughed and laughed at our top little perch and looked at the peasants were like we have jokes

but this time was my time because i've complained about it publicly and then a nice man was like we'll give you a nice experience and i was like yes um so they brought me on stage because it was finally time for me to get what i deserved and then so mike have you been has anyone been to the show it's fun it's very fun if you haven't been go but um so it's like there's a whole storyline and mike has to like become magic mike and then his like first dance he brings someone on stage was it his first dance or maybe the second dance first dance yeah so i got brought on stage and then i got like a lap dance and he like spun me around and he like kept whispering in my ear he's

like listen to all my directions and i was like yeah and he was like keep around and he like kept whispering in my ear. He was like, listen to all my directions. And I was like, yeah. He was like, keep your legs closed. And I was like, okay. And then at one point he's like, I'm going to lift you up. And I went, no. And so she took a video and you could just see my curls going.

Yeah. Her wig was just shaking back and forth. And I was like, I don't know what's happening, but she does not want it. And in the video, it doesn't look like he's struggling but like I felt it I he lifted you pretty easily and it looked like he had it but you can feel it when people lift you and you're like I don't know if this is gonna go well there was like a couple seconds where I think even he was like what have I done because he had to lower me all the way to the floor and I was like a couple seconds where I think even he was like, what have I done? Because he had to lower me all the way to the floor and I was like, oh.

Oh, but it was wonderful. Yeah. I loved it so much. I was truly so happy. And then there was a woman so drunk that she was escorted out. And it was maybe the funniest thing I've ever seen in my whole life. It was like, she looked like a flamingo. Like her legs kept locking.

And when she came near me, I was like, oh, no. I was like, if this lady pukes on me, I'm going to be so mad. Wait, we saw flamingos. What day was that? I think that was also the same day as Magic Mike. Oh my God. We did so much. So she took, she was like, I have a surprise. And I said, okay. And then she whispered to the cab man outside and I didn't hear it because I plugged my ears. And then in the cab, she said it again. I plugged my ears, but I heard it. And she was like, did you hear it? And I was like, yeah, we're going to Flamingo it and she was like did you hear it and i was like yeah we're going to flamingo and she was like yeah and i was like

to see celine dion and she was like what i was like am i gonna meet a dolphin she was like what again am i dumb because like i didn't put it together that we were going to flamingo to see flamingos well i guess i wouldn't have known i looked it up but i wouldn't have known just off the bat that flamingos would have flamingos i guess not it was i don't want to shit on it because i did get to see flamingos and i love them yeah but what a nasty little ditch they had them in i couldn't believe it i was like so you took them from their home to live here yeah i saw like the website made it look like they call it a wildlife habitat and there's like pictures of parrots and like other things so i was like

oh they're gonna have a whole thing two ponds and mostly ducks yeah a lot of ducks and i do like a duck we love ducks but i can see a duck anywhere ducks are everywhere and then six or so flamingos yeah and then they're they have like. Yeah. And then they had like tags on their legs with numbers and I was like, that's not great. But I think it's like

if one gets sick, they're like, that's number four. There's gotta be. No. If you're a zookeeper, you know your animals enough. You know who Bobby,

you know who Susie is. You don't need tags. No. If you were a zookeeper, wouldn't you want to know your animals? Like really know them? There are no zookeepers at the Flamingos Resort in Las Vegas. The website did say there was a zoo talk at 2 p.m. and like 6. Oh, yeah.

Which is a wild time. 2 p.m. and 6. Yeah. They're like, no one's coming to 6. Oh, yeah. Which is a wild time. 2 p.m. and 6. Yeah. They're like, no one's going to do those. Oh, but wait. We didn't talk about my experience at Magic Mike. Oh, yes. I loved it for you.

Well, the host came by and was like, do you want to get on stage? And I was like, yeah. And she's like, it won't be as exciting as Nicole's dance. And I was like, that's okay. I had a really fun, exciting time last time I was here. I was a piano girl, remember? She's like, it won't be as exciting as Nicole's dance. And I was like, that's okay. I had a really fun, exciting time last time I was here. I was a piano girl, remember? She's like,

I don't know who you are. And then she brought me on stage with an elderly woman named Esther. She was like 70-something. I was like, okay, me and Esther. And then she was like, let's take a look at all these men. And then like the

men were surrounding us and we were like, ooh, okay. Something's gonna happen. And then Esther got taken to one side of the stage and I got taken to the other. And we each had a man in front of us. And then the man in front of me like bent down and took his underwear off and there was another set of underwear under there. And I was like, okay.

And then he like took my hands and put it on his chest and like rubbed it down and then put it on his butt. And I was like, ooh, ha. And then he was like, and then he just held my hand. For so long. For so long. To the point where I was like, oh, I guess we're getting to know each other. Yes.

We were just having a conversation on stage. He was just like holding my hands. He was like, so where are you from? And I was just like holding my hands he's like so where are you from and i was like la and he's like what you here for and i was like a girl's trip and he's like cool and i was like is he gonna do dancing and the audience couldn't hear the the conversation but we just yeah we're just hitting it off and then uh the host comes over and is like tell sashir how much you appreciate her and then he says something French in the microphone and the host walked away and he whispered in my ear he goes do you know French and I was like no

he's like neither do I like oh which is so funny it was really funny do you know French no neither do i and that was it and then they walked me off stage right back and sat me down and then the very next thing that happened was a woman got whipped cream sprayed on her and this man licked it off of her and we were like why couldn't she do that yeah i was like why didn't they pull me over there for that experience

and then another lady got railed on the piano yeah like you had the nice dainty time but a lady truly was like i you said she looks like she's gonna fall off the piano yeah he was ramming her and i was like imagine going to the hospital i was like yeah yeah, I broke my neck at Magic Mike. But I think, I mean, no one got hurt. I think they know what they're doing. They're professionals. They're multi-talented. They play instruments. One sang. In a very high falsetto.

Oh, and they had this aerial thing that was not there last time we were there. No, it was so fucking good. Pretty sexy. And a splish splash dance. They were in water. A splish splash dance. What else would it be? Splish splash is water.

Have you ever fucked in water? Yeah. Yeah. I just think it's so unsafe Was it a pool or a shower? I have done both Chlorine? Just slamming up your pussy who's bull okay um i'm from indianapolis indiana And there is a... Is that an excuse?

Let me finish. We all fucking pools in Indiana. We're not near the beach, so we're like, a pool will do. There is a hotel called Sybaris. I don't know if it's... Yes! Wow. It's a pool hotel and a fuck hotel.

And it's like, I've seen commercials of it since I was a kid. It just looks so funny. It's like kind of place that has like a mirror on the ceiling and a heart-shaped bed and the pool in the room. So like you have a bedroom and then there's a pool room that you can, it's your room. You can do whatever you want in there so i i did fuck in that pool okay all right do you remember when i was dating someone and i was talking about fucking in the shower and i was scared so i was like can i call you while we do it and if you i actually don't remember this. I maybe blocked it out.

I was like, that can't be what she asked me. I did. I said, Sashir, I've never had sex in a shower. I'm thinking about it, but I'm really scared that I'll slip and go through the glass and hurt myself. So can I call you during it? And if you hear anything bad, you say

you called 911 and you said, of course. i cannot believe you don't remember this i don't remember this but i'm like you're a good friend i would have done it i can't believe you don't remember it was like an emphatic yes maybe it wasn't emphatic and he's like yeah sure sure did you do it no did you get a call i guess i didn't so you didn't i will absolutely call someone i don't want to die in a shower like just shards of glass in my naked body wait where's the glass coming from? The shower door. If I slip and fall through the shower door. Well, I guess it's not

locked or latched. Yeah. It would just open. It would hurt, but I don't think it would shatter. In my brain, shatter. Glass everywhere. Then a man with his dick out being like, oh no!

And then the phone going, is she okay? Do I make the call now, or? Can you make the call? Yeah, you're there. Yeah, also that you had to call me, and like, you think both of you will be incapacitated that you couldn't call? I guess I didn't think it all through.

I guess it's a wild fear. I mean, it could happen. Yeah, people slip in showers all the time. Yeah. But now I'm thinking my fear is like a little too outlandish. No, it's okay. Hey, thank you. I cried at Mama Fuku. Am I saying that name right?

No. Someone said no. What is it? What did I say? Oh, no. Say it again. Momofuku. You laughed at me. It sounded like I was trying so hard. Anyway, I cried there because I needed Pepto-Bismol and so she started Googling and I said, first flamingos, now you're Googling. It felt so nice that you've done nice things for me.

The table next to us, I don't think they were into me crying. I don't think they were paying attention. I think they were. Everyone's paying attention to us. Yeah, we're always having fun. Well, yeah, I wanted your tummy to feel good for the rest of the adventures we were having in Vegas. We did so much. Yeah.

And you didn't nap today. No. That's wild. Yeah, I know. My internet wasn't working, so I was trying to figure you didn't nap today. No. That's wild. Yeah, I know. My internet wasn't working, so I was trying to figure that out. This is a saga. I know. I think it's kind of working now. Kind of?

Yeah. I have like a, this is so boring. It doesn't matter. They want to know. They want to know. See, six people want to know. Everyone else is like, fine. Woo!

Sure! How's your router? Not good! I don't know. I think I actually had, I think I did steps that I didn't need to do. Oh. Because I, my Wi-Fi wasn't working.

And then I have my machines, the modem and the router. My machines. I have my machines i have my machines i have in a little drawer and i opened it and the router was glowing red which is bad so yeah so i was like something's wrong here so i took it to the internet place and i said, give me a good one. And then they gave me a good one and then I plugged it in. And then I was like, wait, it's still not working. And so I took my other thing, which was a modem to the same place. You're a machine.

And I'm like, machine. I was like, I need new machines. And then they gave me a new everything and I brought it back and it still wasn't working. And then I called and they're like, oh, there's an outage. And I was like, did I need to, did I even need to do this? And so then the outage was done. And then part of it, I don't need to explain this. It sucks.

And I didn't want to be doing any of this. I went to the store too many times. I've called too many companies. And everyone keeps saying, just unplug it and replug it. And I'm like, I don't want to do doing any of this. I went to the store too many times. I've called too many companies. And everyone keeps saying, just unplug it and replug it. And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sorry. You need to get a spectrum technician out to your house. They really don't want to do that.

They really, really don't want to do that. What other internet is there? There's AT&T. There there's verizon oh there is more i thought spectrum was my only option i think it depends on your location it does depend on my location i think so yeah oh not every place service is everywhere interesting yeah internet's so silly how come we don't have like universal internet like universal health care one internet for all i don't know right like why are there different internet companies that are giving me the same

fucking thing um but i have no idea capitalism yeah down with capitalism let's take it to the streets Capitalism. Yeah. Oh, yeah, capitalism. Down with capitalism. Let's take it to the streets. Yeah. Let's wake up Joe Biden. Tell him what we think. Wake up. He's like, that's your only problem?

Yes. There's many. Should we do a quiz? Should we? Yeah. Let's do a quiz, and then we'll answer people's queries from the audience yeah okay okay oh god well i guess we have to do are you a rat or a cockroach yeah i like that one yeah i like that one. Yeah, I like that one a lot. I mean...

Which one? Oh, are you a rat or are you a cockroach? The one that I made bold. Yeah. You got it. You want us to do it, Jordan. Yeah, you want us to do it. What do you think I am, Jordan?

There's no good answer there. I don't want an answer there. I'm hoping to be a rat. Why? I think rats are kind of cute. Oh. Yeah. Right? I think rats are kind of cute. Oh. Yeah. Right?

I think cockroaches are terrifying. Yeah. We were in Palm Springs one time, and we were in the, well, you were in the hotel pool. I was sitting, I was rooting you on from the sidelines. We went to the most insane hotel. Yeah. It was an Instagram hotel that nobody worked at. And the maids just let themselves into your room while you were sleeping.

And you would open an eye and go, no. We didn't know that they were there. Did we? I feel like we woke up and we were like, everything's changed. At one point. Yeah. So the first time it happened, everything changed. Second time I woke up and I said, no.

And then they left. Damn. Yeah. But yes, the pool. then they left damn yeah um but yes the pool oh yeah so uh we were at the pool oh we were walking towards the pool and then there was a roach in the pathway and there was like a little standoff and we were like stomping our feet and like get out of here and it didn't move at all. Didn't care. And then we were like, you can have it. And we just like ran past it. And then got to the pool, having a nice time.

And I'm looking at Nicole in the water. And I was like, something's swimming towards you. And I was like, what do you mean? And I was like, and I was like, it's a roach. And I was like, it's a route.

And it was beelining towards her. And then it crawled up onto the surface. Yes, it sped towards, like, past me. And it took no time to adapt from the water to the land. It was just like. And then it flew. It flew away. It was like, I can do all modes of transportation. Water, land, sky.

You cannot escape me. It was terrifying. We screamed and then shut it down for the night. We're like, we can't be out here. No, we're like, you own the pool now. It's fine. That was the weirdest hotel. Yeah. It was pretty, though was the weirdest hotel. Yeah.

It was pretty, though. It was pretty. Yeah. Are you more a rat or a cockroach? Okay. What is your favorite food? Burger. Anything with sugar?

Toothpaste? Cheese. Uh, toothpaste? Cheese. Imagine so sure I looked at you and I said toothpaste. I eat toothpaste. I'd be concerned. I'm going to say burger.

I am going to also say burger. I love a burger. Mm-hmm. Mm. What is your favorite color? Food color. Black. Yellow. Green.

Also these pictures that are accompanying. Yeah. Black is like chunks of coal. Also, what does food color mean? Just any food color? Just any one. I will say green. Okay, I'm going to say black. Great.

I wonder, sometimes most people do the thing where they're like, like one question is obviously going to be like the thing. This one's tough. I don't know. Because who's going for the toothpaste? I feel like both would. Yeah.

Okay. How many friends do you have? Five. What? Did you just say five? Did you just answer the question? Did you just say five? I think I was reading, like, ahead.

I think I was reading ahead, and I saw five notes on the second one, but I just skipped the first one, which is none. How many friends do you have? Five. So, I'm happy to be one of your five friends. Oh my God. That wasn't me answering, but also kind of,

I mean, I truly only have three friends. Okay. Uh, none. Between one and five. About six to nine. 10 plus. Anybody who says they have 10 plus friends,

I think is a sociopath. That's too many friends. Well, I guess some people have different definitions of friend. Someone said, ew. Ew. I mean, I agree. Wait, what is your definition of friend? A person who I love very strongly and

has been in my life for a long time or can be in my life for a long time and we have a level of trust yeah that's what I think

a friend is yeah and then I have like acquaintances yeah those are people I'm like down to clown with but like

I don't like trust you with things uh huh you're not my friend yeah okay cool I'm gonna say I don't like trust you with things. Uh-huh. You're not my friend. Yeah. Okay, good. I'm going to say...

Jordan. Jordan's... Sorry. Jordan's hovering over between one and five. Okay. She's like, I listen to you guys every week i know you constantly are like we don't have friends yeah i know how many friends yeah i guess between one and five same because you know how i like really quantify a friendship like who's gonna be one of my bridesmaids oh okay don't tell sister, but she's not on the list. You can't even do like a, like a, just put her in there.

No. It's my wedding. She'll give me away because my parents are dead. You know? Why'd you say it like that? My parents are dead. You know? Why'd you say it like that? My parents are dead. Are you making fun of me?

You know, because my parents are dead. You gotta keep it light and fresh. What is your favorite movie? Deadpool. Black Widow. What? These are nobody's favorite movies.

The Hunger Games? Puss in Boots? What? Not one person has said, Black Widow's my favorite movie. I guess I'll say Deadpool out of this cluster. I mean, I think they got a lot of things wrong in The Hunger Games. I don't think they stuck to Susan Collins' original vision.

Okay. Is it a while that I know who wrote The Hunger Games? I guess I actually didn't know you read the books. I loved the books. Are you kidding? I felt like Katniss shouldn't, I thought she should have been in ethnicity because I felt like Susan is in an ethnicity.

Also, yeah, she's not here. Why are you whispering? You're right. In an ethnicity not white okay um and i don't know why i whispered it like jennifer lawrence who like listens to this podcast i was like is she talking about me i can't hear it but in the book it felt like she was saying that people in the capital were like white people who like got too powerful and then everybody else

was like black and brown people who would have fight for their like sport or whatever and Katniss is described as like tan skin so I was like so she's like Puerto Rican or like Brazilian yeah that's what I thought so So I'm going to say Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins. I read all three books and was very disappointed by the third movie. I guess the Hunger Games is my favorite movie. I guess so. How old are you? 12 to 18.

19 to 25. Oh, my God. 26 to 38. 39 to 49. 50 to 60. 60 plus. We're almost in that 39 to 49. 50 to 60. 60 plus. We're almost in that 39 to 49 range. We're getting old.

Well, we are still in the 26 to 38 range. So we can put it that. We skirted in there. Yeah. Okay. Favorite meal. Didn't we do this?

No. Wasn't that the first question? I think it was favorite food. Oh. This is a whole ass meal. Oh, okay. Breakfast. Snack.

Wait, what is that snack? Is that just a cup of cheese? It looks like mustard. Or mustard? With chips? There was also many stores and casinos

in Vegas that just said snacks! Lunch? Dinner! Oh, okay. So just conceptually what,

when do I like to eat? I guess maybe breakfast is my favorite meal. I guess I like dinner. Okay. I never really thought of it. I do like eggs. I'm never having eggs for dinner.

This one just says choose a picture okay so like flames or something an old-timey bathtub on a wood floor just some water and a cityscape i like water. So water. This is one of BuzzFeed's most unhinged quizzes. This is wild. Um, I, the tub is in a house and I like that.

So I guess I'll pick the tub. Okay. Okay. And choose a flower. Are those tulips? I believe so. Pink tulips. And I think that's a flower. Are those tulips? I believe so. Pink tulips. And I think that's a sunflower.

A lily? Yeah. Uh. Is that a dried up rose? I think it's like a dead rose. It's the rose from Beauty and the Beast. Oh yeah, that does look like the Beauty and the Beast rose. I'm going to pick lilies because that's my dead mom's name.

I'm going to pick the sunflower. Any reason why? Because it's nice looking. So this is Nicole. Nicole's a rat. I am a rat you you're a sneaky little rat you like snooping in others business and stirring the pot I mean who doesn't you're also really really you also really really really love cheese that's true you do love cheese I do except cold cheese it has to be melted when I was little I used to say I don't like cold cheese. It has to be melted. When I was little, I used to say, I don't like raw cheese. And then I said that into adulthood.

And then someone finally was like, cheese isn't raw. I like my cheese well done. I do. I love a little crisp to it. Okay, what's mine? I'm also a rat. Yes. Wow.

Thank God. We're both Yes. Wow. Thank God. We're both rats. Oh my God. I'm glad we're not cockroaches. When you picked the bathtub, I was a little worried because I feel like that's like a cockroach place to be.

I really couldn't predict anything from this quiz. It was pretty tough. Yeah. I wonder if the person who wrote the quiz is okay. I feel like they're just running out of topics because they have done so many quizzes. So they're like, I don't know. I don't know.

Are you a rat or a cockroach? Are you a rat or a cockroach? Okay. okay now we're gonna do questions yes okay so there's a microphone to there hold on to there jordan will you guys say something i was just i wanted to triple check do you only want to do audience questions or do you want to do oh yeah oh fuck right it's up to you maybe like one uh either written or called in question and then take it to the audience perfect yeah yeah yeah does that work for you guys okay oh we gotta read okay oh this is a sit cheer with such hair question. Oh. Sit cheer.

Sit cheer. British accent. I hope it doesn't require a British accent. I was crying when you did that. Because we had had a conversation where she was like, oh, I had to do an English accent for an audition. I was like, oh, how did it go? She was like, I had a little help from a friend.

And I was like, oh, okay. And then thought nothing of it until she did it on the podcast. And I was like, oh, I don't want to do it. It's I honest. You don't have to do it. It's I honest. You don't have to do it. OK, thank you. But it made me laugh so hard. Yeah, because it was really funny.

Not because you were bad at it. No, I was bad at it. That's why it's funny. No, you committed. That's why it was funny. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You're very nice.

You can read it in whatever accent you want. Hi, Nicole. This is sort of a question for sit sheer with such air, but it's also kind of a friend's question because my couch is my best friend. I love my couch. I talk about it daily, but she's a bit enormous, and she won't fit up the stairwell of my new apartment which is which resulting in me crying on the floor while my movers navigated around me to bring some other stuff in

anyway i had to take my couch to storage and in the process crashed the storage truck into the side of the building but that's not really important here i'm having a really hard time finding a new couch because i'm so busy being in love with the one that got away which is how things go with dating after a breakup too but isn't is but this isn't a metaphor it's really about a couch do you have any advice on how to proceed with this absolute nightmare of a situation thank you for your time sincerely furnitureless in philadelphia i've never actually been to pennsylvania this was a fun email yeah i mean i feel like if there's a will, there's a way. She literally said it doesn't fit in the apartment.

I would get different movers. What do you think could change, though? I don't know. Someone with ingenuity? Is that a word? Ingenuity? Ingenuity. Somebody with a sparkle in the brain?

I want a young ingenue to help me with my couch yeah or like find someone who's an engineer I guess you could leave it in storage until you're in a bigger place no I really think she can get this couch into her apartment I don't think she can I really do it wouldn't go up the stairwell yeah because of these idiot movers who knows if we got somebody else on the case

i think she should try again with different people okay all right or measure the couch measure the stair like i would exhaust every option because I love my couch and I don't want to part with my couch, even though it's a bad couch. Right. I want to figure out how to fix my couch. And she loves that couch. Aren't there people who cut couches in half and then, like, move it in? Madea? Madea cuts couches?

I ain't a mad black woman. Y'all got to get this together. It's you. Bitch, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about you can't say Madea and then tell me to get it together it's Juneteenth I've seen Diary of a Mad Black Woman oh I'm talking about how to

keep the couch this is when she keep the couch. This is when she destroys the couch? Yeah. Because she's so mad? That's destroying it. What I was talking about. There are people who dissemble a couch And then put it back together

In the actual space Oh my god Chris would have it In a flash Chris would be like Your couch is over here It's inside your stomach He would put it together

With one side normal And one side upside down And walk away he's like you're welcome yeah i i think she should call a couch cutter yeah she can call a couch cutter i also think it might be a nice opportunity for a new thing I also think it might be a nice opportunity for a new thing. Like, you're shaking your head no.

I don't like change. Change really affects me and makes me upset. It also sounds like, I know the person writing it said, it's not about the breakup. But it sounds like maybe they just went through a breakup and they're trying to hold on to something. Maybe. Which there's nothing wrong with that. Well, they just don't Maybe. Which there's nothing wrong with that. Well, they just don't like change.

There's nothing wrong with that. But maybe keep the couch in a storage unit. And since you do need a couch in your current place, maybe get a couch that fits the current place. And then maybe over time, you might be like, actually, I realize I don't need that old couch anymore. It doesn't fit my life currently and literally truly I would exhaust every option to get that couch in there you're like I love my old baggage

I do I love it let me bring everywhere. Yeah, that's what I... You are probably smarter or whatever or have a better handle on it. But nobody's taking my couch. No one's trying to take your couch. You can't have my couch! Did you write this? Just a little something on my mind all right should we answer audience questions yes

um yeah if you have you can just form a line to the mic answer we ask really any question but we try to focus on friendship questions yes oh no this one right here. Yeah, that one. Okay. Okay. Hi, what's your name? Hello. You can angle it. Yeah. I'm Leela.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. So I'm curious, what advice would you give for someone who like has had like a best friend and like kind of could see that dynamic within what I think is your dynamic where you just love each other so much and you're like just like that um but then like you've drifted apart and so now you're like missing that connection with that person but reach out to them um I think maybe like trips like a like if you can afford going on a trip that's really great if you can't afford going on a trip maybe it's like if you don't live in the

same town you spend time together in some sort of capacity where it's like uninterrupted fun time um because you were away for six whole months yeah and then you came back and then we went to vegas for three days and had a lovely time and i feel very like connected with you and not that i felt a disconnect but it was like so much time it passed i was like oh my god i really miss my friend yeah um so like this weekend was just like it was like magical and nice and it was fun to spend so much time with you. I agree. And I didn't snore, you guys. She did so good. And you could also just like send a random text.

People love random texts. Just like, hey, I was thinking about you. Or like I saw this thing and it reminded me of you. Do you want to meet up? Or, you know, any excuse to like say hi. Because I think maybe i don't know if anyone else feels like that but i feel like in the pandemic i i forgot about people like because

you don't see people all the time and then i was like oh yeah i used to hang out the person all the time or like i love this person but i just haven't said anything to them in like months yeah so i think it's okay if the drifting happens but if you just like say hey thinking of you or like I miss you I think you'll find that people will respond extremely positively to that because they also might feel the same way yeah you just don't know because you haven't reached out yeah because anytime I've reached out to any of my friends I haven't seen in a while I've been like I really miss you can we and they're like yes, I fucking miss you, girl.

And then we go to dinner, it's a nice time. Yeah. I hope that helps. Solved! Solved. Hi. Hi. My name's Jose.

Short version of my question is just I had a falling out with a friend and I just need to know if I should pursue kind of repairing things. The longer context of it is my friend has been dealing with a meth addiction for going on two years. And so initially what had happened was that he would tell me stories about his relationship with his family and with other friends. And he would only give me half of the story. So he would say like, they're not listening to me. They're throwing my addiction in my face. I'm just going to have to cut things off. So I didn't really think anything about it. Then we get to a camping trip that I invited him to. He was high on mushrooms and weed the entire time to the point where he was just out of it. And like he almost put his foot into the fire and didn't even realize that he did it. And then got angry that we weren't inviting him to go on a hike. And I told him quite

literally, you were so out of it that I was afraid if we took you on a hike, you would fall over a mountain and die. And so he told me that he didn't want to hear that and that we would have a talk. But then when we had the talk, he didn't really want to talk about it. And he just kind of talked about how he was indulging more in his vices. And he was saying, quote, unquote, I was becoming Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and I was becoming the monster that I like to be. So I just kind of needed to separate myself from that. But then he started giving me ultimatums and saying, like, I don't know if you actually want to be my friend. But if you don't, that's completely fine. We can just cut it off. And I said, Okay, let's talk about this. And then he just it our schedules weren't aligning. And then finally, he just kind of said,

like, I don't really appreciate you not being there for me because there was one situation where he got blackout drunk, got on a scooter, rammed it into a parked car, knocked out all of his teeth and passed out on the floor. And he tried to use that as leverage for me staying friends with him. And I just kind of, for me personally, because I know about addiction. And I was just like, you can't really use leverage against me because that's not fair to me. Like, if you're going to be my friend, obviously, I'll be there for you. But you shouldn't be using that against me. So he just finally cut things off with me and didn't want to talk. And then I cut things off, just blocked him on socials, blocked his phone number. And the day after that, I noticed that

my car, my side mirror on my car was completely broken off. And my said friend lives like right down the block from me. So I kept on spiraling and thinking that it was actually happening. But when I had heard from some mutual friends that he was getting better and that he was taking his treatment seriously. But then apparently his job started finding out about what he was doing. So he likely had another relapse and started spiraling. And a mutual friend kind of confirmed to me that said addiction friend actually broke my mirror and was bragging about it so my thing is is like I understand that a lot of this behavior is just kind of the addiction coming to the forefront and that maybe somewhere down the line that we could remedy things but I'm just kind of finding

it difficult to actually find a headspace to like find any hope for any kind of reconciliation. And I don't really know if it's worth pursuing in the long run. It's tough because addiction does take over people. They are a different person. It's technically not their fault because they are addicted to something. not their fault because they are addicted to something. But I do think there is a line between being a good friend and being taken advantage of and having your boundaries crossed and your life being affected by this person's addiction. I think as long as your life is being affected negatively, I do think you should go no contact with them because I don't want you to like spiral and feel

bad, you know, or like have them do something that then affects you in a negative way. And then you take it to work or you take it to other parts of your life. I do think there is something to sending a message and being like, when you're ready to work on your addiction and honestly, maybe sobriety is not the thing they need. Maybe it's just like some sort of like therapy or like, I don't know, like they do ketamine treatments or whatever. Like there's a lot of different treatments that you still use,

but like, you know, not as badly or whatever. I think you could reach out and be like, I'm happy when you get your life under control to be your friend again. I think this is a little tough. I will say maybe talk to a therapist about it because I'm not a therapist, but yeah,

yeah, we're definitely not experts in this, but, uh, I like what you said and I am sorry you're going through this. I'm sorry. Your friends going through this addiction affects so many people and it sucks. And I think maybe if you do want to say anything at all,

a message of like, well, when you're ready, I would like to actually be friends. But in the state that you're currently in, that that's not going to work. And yeah, it sounds like when your friend receded that they weren't in a place where they wanted to get better. And that's hard to be around. You can't help them if they don't want to help themselves. So yeah, I think right now maybe focus more on yourself and protecting your peace before you try to bring this person back into your life. I hope that helps. Yeah, I have a friend who is an

alcoholic, is currently an alcoholic. Pretty bad alcoholic. I just put up boundaries that I don't drink with them. And if they get too drunk, I leave a location. Because I don't like seeing him like that. It makes me feel bad. And then I feel like I'm enabling him when I drink with him. So like that's the

boundary I've put up with him. maybe that's awful i don't know well thank you yeah you're very sweet thank you hi hi sorry my heart is beating so fast i kind of feel like your tit that one time oh my god why would you bring that up? She's talking about my first kiss when I was 17 and I was so nervous my heart was beating so fast out of my chest that my tit was like gyrating

out of my shirt and the guy was like are you okay? And I was like yeah I'm fine I'm fine. Okay so I understand that previous question was kind of heavy, so I have something shorter and a little bit more lighthearted. If you two had your own separate romantic comedies, who would you want to play as your love interest and who would you love to play as yourselves respectfully?

Why would they be separate? You'd be my love interest. Yeah, you'd be my love interest. Yeah. Because not every love is romantic exactly some of it is platonic i recently told my grandpa that so she was my platonic life partner and i was like i think when we get old if we're not married we'll probably like live together and take care of each other and he was like show her to me and i showed her i showed my grandpa this year and he went oh okay and i don't know what that means it's like i trust that face

okay um yeah you're my love interest yeah yeah um yeah wait okay so if I had to pick a like a man actually I wouldn't pick a man I'd pick Michelle Rodriguez I really love how she's just there and I don't mean

that as like shade or anything but like sometimes she'll just be like Dom and you're like you're falling off a mountain and like you're just like Dom like also go see Fast X it's really fun but I just really

she's so chill that would be my love interest hmm or Jason Momoa and culottes That would be my love interest. Hmm. Or Jason Momoa in Kool-Aids. Why in Kool-Aids specifically? He wears a lot of gauchos and fast acts. And his nails are painted.

Are these all based on facts X? You're like, that's the last movie I saw. I would date all of them. I'm actually jason statham uh actually the rock and the post-credits scene actually a little b uh you know dom son bryant i'm kidding that was a child um i did have one problem with the movie. That's not her question, but yes. What was your problem with Fastback? It's just that Dom named his son Little B, Brian, after

a person who's alive in the franchise but dead in real life. It's confusing. But I answered the question. Michelle Rodriguez. Yes, yes yes yes I would say Tessa Thompson

I like the little like here's a little tidbit Chainsaw Thackery I had to think for Domino Gleason for a while bit. Chainsaw. Dockery. I had a thing for Domino Gleason for a while. Oh wait I still have a

thing for him. Yeah. Him too. Him too. Yes. Those are my answers. Thank you. Thank you.

Hi my name is Anna. I'm here actually with one of my best friends Cassie. Oh yay. And I'm currently in like a situation ship. I'm dating someone that she doesn't like. Okay.

So I'm wondering. She's crossing her arms. She hates it. To be fair, I've given this guy multiple tries before and he's just not it. But I just keep coming back to him and I know it's a situation ship so what would you say about dating people that your friends don't like yeah Should I run? Is that the answer?

Well, okay. Nicole definitely dated someone I did not like. And... You know this! It took me a second. I actually was like, who? Yeah, he was bad. Yes.

But I think there were times where I was like, maybe trying to give advice that I thought like what I would do if I was dating this person or whatever. I mean, you tell me how you or whatever, either respond to this or don't. But but it felt like if I was like too overbearing with like cautious advice or saying this guy sucks or whatever, you would recede and not tell me anything. Yeah. And and eventually I was like, I'd rather know what's going on because I don't I don't want you to be like sad by yourself or like be in a shitty situation I don't know about it so then I kind of like reeled my my own opinions about this like in and kept it more to myself not I like if there was something really bad I would say yeah hey I don't like this but uh yeah I But yeah, I would try not to harp on it too much because I was like, well, she's going to learn her own lesson one way or another.

I can't tell her what to do. It's her life. And I'd rather know she's okay than not. So I guess that's more of an advice to your friend. She's going to make her own mistakes and and you know she like you already said you know it's not a good situation so let her go through it does he like a big old dick he really does he really does yeah the dude i was dating had an enormous uncut dick. And I'm like, oh, my God. Every time I'd be like, maybe it's love.

Oh, wait. Oh. I thought you were coming to dispute the length of the dick. She's like, actually, I see it. No. Okay. Well, I hope that helped. Yeah.

I think she only doesn't approve because she wants the best for you. Yeah. Like, so Shira would be like, I would tell her terrible stories and she'd be like, and how did that make you feel? And I'd be like, not good. But it was, like, nice that you listened. Do you know what I mean? Like, it would have been not fun for you if you kept, like, lecturing me to be like, you shouldn't be with him. I'm like, I'm not with with him we never go out during the day

to add to that i do feel like i just have like lessons i need to learn so thank you for that yeah no problem also i'll tell you. You're worth more than a situationship. Thank you. You really are. I promise you. Hello. Hi. My name is Aaron.

Aaron. So I'm a little bit similar to theirs. Kind of. Kind of. It's just friends and dating. In my friend group, we have Tyler and Zach. Tyler, now. Do you really want to say their names i spent in line making up fake names i'm like oh good job okay so tyler went out with this guy

um and the date didn't go well it was bad and then a month later Zach went out with the same guy, and they're doing well. And since it's our friend group, Tyler obviously found out, but now he's giving Zach an ultimatum, like, me or him. And we're all like, Tyler, you want to just one date with one guy is bad, and just get over it. But he's just like he's just in his feelings. So I'm neither of the guys. I must.

Ooh. Hmm. What should both of them do, I guess? I mean, the one who is rejected should just get over it. In my brain. Like, I mean, it might suck to see this person

and be like, oh, it didn't work out between us, but like, you can't be happy that your friend is doing well with this other person.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. They just didn't get along. They didn't click. They didn't mesh. Well, then Tyler should know. Like, obviously, we're not together.

But Tyler's not like, we're like the guy. He's like. we're not together we like the guy he does so he still likes him so he's like not over it listen to some Frank Ocean and like move on I think it's also a little bit like

bro code a little bit I went out with this guy it was one day but it was one date yeah one day yeah no he gotta get over it yeah um let's see how do you present that to a friend though yeah wow you guys are harsh get the fuck up over it you ever see tyra mcblock woman um i mean it sounds like someone needs to ask tyler like what like tyler gave the ultimatum to zach but like what matters more to you tyler your friend who you were friends with for years or this guy you had one date with. That's good.

That's a real rational way of thinking. I'm like, get over it! Yeah, because that's not fair. Because then you're like prioritizing this new person? Yeah, I think that might put things in perspective for them. I think that's actually really good to share. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Oh my god.

Okay, I hope that helps. Yeah, thank you. Solved! Hi guys. really good this year thank you so much you're welcome oh my god okay i hope that helps yeah thank you solved hi guys hi my name is akilah hi um i've been in la for like eight years can you do me a favor could you just be a little bit closer to the mic thank you so much is this better that's better thank you pull it down lower it yeah i'm too short okay here we go my name is akilah i've been in LA for like eight years and I've had trouble finding quality friends. So if I go to an arts market dance class, I meet really cool people, vibe with them, share Instagrams, but just nothing pans out

or they're pretty flaky. So do you have any tips on finding quality friends in LA? Yeah. There's people here. Yeah, there's people here. Yeah, there's people here. Yeah. Also, trap them. So when you meet them, instead of just exchanging Instagrams,

be like, there's a very cool place I wanted to try for dinner. Are you free anytime next week to try it? Trap them. And then they have to go through their phone and then be like, well, I'm busy every day. Or they're like, Tuesday works. And then you're like, Tuesday works for me. And then you go to dinner. And then hopefully it blossoms into a nice friendship. I like

that. Yeah, trap them. Awesome. Because LA people are flaky. And anytime I've wanted to like make a friend with someone here I've had to trap them by being like what day will you see me yeah I agree hopefully that helps the first date what get something down the first date what get plans the first yes oh yeah the first time you What? Get plans the first date. Yes. Oh, yeah. The first time you meet them and you're like, bye, remember whatever,

like when you exchange Instagrams, instead of doing that, have a restaurant in mind to be like, I want to go to this place. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think this is the last one. No pressure. Hi. Long-time is the last one. No pressure.

Hi. Long time listener. First time questioner. That tickled you. I really liked it. Wow. That was just a life goal of making you giggle. And I truly am going to ride that high for a long ass time.

But I want to start off by saying, Nicole, I really appreciate how much you talk about therapy. COVID was hard for me, and I openly talk about therapy at work now, about how I need a mental health day and how things are really hard for me. So with my family who doesn't use therapy at all, and it's helping my husband, and I go to couples therapy, and so I just want to say, I quote you all the time. Oh, thank you. You and both of you make me so happy. So I just want to say thank you so much for like how much you talk about therapy. It just makes me feel like, you know,

I'm not the only one out there and I feel like not a lot of people do that. So I really appreciate that. Thank you for telling us that. Yeah, thank you. Of course. Everyone should be in therapy. We went through three years of a pandemic and we're all like, we're fine. And no one talks about that. I know.

It's still going. I keep saying it to people. I'm like, we all went through something so traumatic and we're like, la, la, la, la, la. We're in Vegas. There's the Eiffel Tower. We almost died. We sprayed Lysol on French fries.

And no one talks about that. Also, how's Clyde? Clyde? Clyde is good. I thought I saw a dog here, and I was really excited it was Clyde. No, he bites people, so I can't. I'm okay with that. Well, he got, okay, so I'll tell you.

So I went to the Irvine Improv, and I brought him with me, and he bit the server, and she had to go to the hospital, and then I had to like present his paperwork that he didn't have like rabies and shit so i don't bring him anywhere anymore because also he doesn't have very many teeth but he's like i'll get you i'm gonna use these ones till i got him what i said he's gonna use those ones he's got till he's gone yeah but he's good thank you for asking um i also went to your fake funeral

in montreal and i have to say it was um pretty great oh thank you so in montreal there was like a living wake so it was like a roast a nice roast where people say like nice stuff and mateo lane did it and he told a story but only got two words out and we both started laughing I don't know if he finished the story it was great we just laughed so hard thank you do you have anything to say about me? well I didn't know how much time I had

I'm here too I told you damn dragged alive I did have like a half a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc before I came up here because I was nervous yes Damn, dragged alive. I did have like a half a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc before I came up here because I was nervous. Yes. But I do have a question, I swear to God. Sorry. So I had a really bad falling out with a friend from high school where I live in D.C.

and I just never went home to North Carolina to see her. And so, you know, it just was kind of like a toxic me always being the planner, always being the person who did all of the work. And kind of I was just like, why am I doing this kind of thing? And so, you know, then I found out that I had planned this whole activity this whole weekend, taking time off work. They were going to come. And then one of my other best friends tells me they were on a trip with them and they had been saying how they had been just lying to my face the whole time and weren't going to come. And I was, you know, they had told me they had been running and I was like, oh, that's great. You always said you hated running.

Like, let's go do this race together. You know, I'm not a great runner, but like, you know, we could train together from far and like kind of bond over that. And they said, yeah, I just don't really want to tell him the truth. So I just keep telling him I'm going to come in and I never went. So I just stopped responding to her. Cause I was just like, I'm, you know, I was going, I have like, you know, mental health stuff, like everyone does. And so I was like, I'm just not doing that shit. And my husband was like, yeah, just give up. Like you've put a lot of work into it. It's just not worth it. And so I did. And they sent a lot of texts, you know, apologizing after the fact, but now I have to go to a bachelorette and I might be officiating a wedding where there are bridesmaids in it for our other

friend. And I wanted to know. Yeah. so how should I approach that? I texted her cause she got married the other day and she texted me when I got married and we hadn't talked and I was like, you know, good luck. Godspeed kind of thing. But just like, you know, trying to be like, you did, you did it. So I'm going to do it back to you. And but now I'm kind of like, how do I not make this super uncomfortable? Because we're going to New Orleans, so no one will be sober. So I just want to avoid like attention being on that and taking away from anyone else. Do you want to do a phone call before you get down?

Yeah. That's what I was thinking, kind of. Yeah. I think, yeah, a phone call might be nice. Because I just want to be like, you know, we had our situation. Let's move on and know that it's about this other person and not us. I think that's great. Yeah.

But I'm just, like, dreading. It's usually, I feel like most conversations I've had with friends or anyone in my life that it's, like, it feels heavy. It's usually better or easier than you anticipate because we're probably both nervous you're I'm sure yeah I'm sure your friend's also like oh my god I don't know because we've been friends since high school and then all of a sudden I was just like it's just not worth it yeah yeah I think maybe like send a text and like hey do you have time to talk before we go on this trip i'd love to like you don't even

have to say what it's about just like do you have time to chat yeah can we chat and then it doesn't have to be a long chat you don't have to rehash anything it could just be like yeah i i want to be around you in the situation and not have it feel weird yeah because we yeah we're here for somebody else's celebration and let's do that. So yeah. I agree. I think that's very smart. And I know I catastrophize in my brain. Evidence with the

shower sex stuff. I can't believe I thought the glass was down. Anyway, I tend to be like I have this issue i need to talk to somebody but like what if they hate me what if they're mad at me what if they push me down the stairs which is the thing i say to my therapist a lot she's always like why do you think people how many stairs are you around i don't know it could happen but um i think yeah i think you're like uh you might think it's gonna be a worse conversation than it is.

Your friend might just be like, yeah, we did have a falling out. We're not as close anymore, but we can still be in the same room and we can still have a conversation. But yeah, I also do think it's important to remember that like, it's not about you. Yeah. It's about your friend getting married. And if drinking does like make things more intense, I mean, it might suck being in New Orleans, but like maybe you just drink a little less.

Yeah, I think that's true. Maybe it's like two in, you're like, that's my limit for now. Or if she's getting really drunk or whatever. Do you know what I mean? Just remove yourself a little bit from a place where something could be contemptuous. Look at these words.

You plop down like it wore you out like enough big words for me I'll google that when I get home I hope that helps yeah

thank you again for everything yes thank you I think that's it we did it yeah thank you so much for coming I think that's it. We did it! Yeah!

Thank you so much for coming. Hopefully we'll do more live shows because Tashira's back in town. And there's a writer's strike. So we're both unemployed. Solidarity. Solidarity. Oh, yes. Yes, it does. Solidarity! thank you for coming Thank you.