Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Enjoys Corn Dogs

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

Hello friends! Sasheer is getting confused by the weather. Nicole is taking singing lessons. Sasheer suggests Nicole record the sessions so she can hit her notes at home. Sasheer joins Nicole for a haunted hayride. Nicole enjoyed funnel cake. Sasheer enjoyed  her two corndogs. While Sasheer likes incense, Nicole loves candles. Sasheer tries to help find solutions to help Nicole find her keys. Nicole shares how a man randomly tried to get into her car. Sasheer blesses us with her impression of a French accent. They both  answer your friendship questions about a friends text chain etiquette and introducing a partner to a friend group.  This was recorded on October 26, 2023. Sources: Nicole is on tour doing standup! For tickets go to: https://linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken Check out Sasheer’s Comedy Special “First Woman” on 800 Pound Gorilla or for free on YouTube. https://800poundgorillamedia.com/products/sasheer-zamata-the-first-woman  Here is the quiz we took: https://www.buzzfeed.com/therealalora/food-fall-scent-quiz Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hello, Sashir! Hello, Nicole! Boy, oh boy, isn't this a glorious day in sunny Los Angeles, California? Yeah, I am cold in my house, though. My, I'm a little chilled chilled too, but I like it. Yeah, it is nice. But yesterday was confusing because it was like cloudy. And I was like, oh, I guess this is the day.

I was like, not going to get out of bed. I was like, where's the sun? I was like, oh, it's not coming out today. This year, same thoughts. I had a singing lesson and I looked outside and I was like, ugh, I'm just not feeling it today. And Doug is so wonderful and gracious and holds space. I was like, I'm not feeling the greatest today.

Can we reschedule? And he was like, of course, take time, take care of yours. He's just so sweet. He's so sweet. Boy, oh boy. I'm really enjoying my singing journey, except I'm pretty okay at hitting the notes when I'm with him, and then I have a keyboard at home,

and I'll do-do-ba-do on the keyboard, and I can't hit those notes. Oh, interesting. It's weird. Is it because he's giving you a technique in the room that you are like not doing at home i think it's mimicking because he'll sing first and then i'll sing and then i'll match it but when i have nothing to match i get a little confused yeah yeah maybe um have you recorded your voice sessions when you're at doug's and then maybe

you could play them when you're home no i haven't done that yet i think i need to get a little bit more comfortable with the fact that i'm singing like i already don't like i don't like my voice and i've been told it's a great voice but but every time, thank you, but every time I listen to a recording of it, I'm like, ugh, yuck. I think that's how most people feel about their voice. They're like, that's what I sound like? It's wild. Who is that? Yeah, who is she?

Who is she? I like my voice when I do characters. Like there's this one character in Big City Greens that I do named Andromeda and I love her. And I love the voice and I love the animation and it's, it truly brings me joy, but the normal voice. Ew. No, it's good.

It's a good voice. Thank you, Sashir. That's nice. And I heard you sing during karaoke recently and you were hitting some real high notes. Belting. Thank you. I'm still very... It's the one thing I'm embarrassed to do.

Like, I'll eat things off the street. I will scream. I'll do dolphin noises. You'll eat them off the street. Listen, food is food. We can't be picky about where food comes from we can't it comes from it comes from the ground so it does yeah okay so uh yeah but yeah uh i was just like like tani was singing mariah carey and was doing well

and you were singing i can't remember what you sang but you were killing it and it's uh i always get really like in my head when my friends can sing and i'm like oh no i'm gonna be the worst one but it's not like we're judging you yes you are people inherently judge just because we're friends doesn't mean you go oh that was a crunchy note sure Sure, I guess so. But we just texted each other separately. Don't do that. Oh, Lord. We're not going to say it to your face. You want me to think about that for the rest of my day?

I'm just... You want me to go to sleep and go, did they? Were they texting about my greatest insecurity? My friends? I was just kidding. it was a joke you were but oh no you really want to send me in a spiral on this sunny day in california i really don't want to send you on a spiral during this sunny day she's twisting and turning it's a spiral just kidding there's no separate text i promise okay okay wow so sure that was i i mean has anyone ever tell you no i'm so sorry um has anyone ever like tried to gossip with you about me

and yes and oh really yes i won't tell you who because you know them and they said something to me and I responded with uh I think you're just gonna have to ask her about it because I don't really have all the details well of course I had all of the details I had so many details yeah I know most about your life and yeah it's happened a couple times times where I'm like, I don't know. That's not my thing to really speak on. I don't really know. Yeah. Has anyone tried to gossip about me?

I'm not important. Okay. This is how I find out. No, but I think they, I don't. Well, also, I think people go to you for gossip. I don't think people come to me for gossip. I don't think people think I know things. I don't think they think I'm one to gossip.

I do, like, enjoy it. But I don't think I'm ever starting it. So maybe people aren't like, ooh, let's, like, here's the tea. Or, like, can I get some tea from you? Because I rarely have it. Yes. No, I don't think. i mean no has anyone ever talked shit about me like in front of you like no definitely our fucking sucks definitely not i've never heard any bad words about you people love you listen

sometimes i don't know about that it's true though that's really nice to hear today yeah on thursday if i heard it on wednesday i'd be mad does anyone try to talk me no people love you and respect you no i like that you're very well respected people are always like god she's so wonderful and beautiful and funny. And I'm like, I know. And I get to talk to her on the reg. Are you jealous? Are you jealous, you stupid bitches? Everyone's like, whoa, don't call us stupid. And I'm like, you are dumb. You're not her friend. I mean, people do say that. They're like, she keeps calling us dumb. What is that about? And I'm like, I don't know. You have to ask her you gotta just ask her we did something out of our comfort zone we went to a haunted hayride we did go to a haunted

hayride it was fun it was fun it was scary it was very scary um i screamed several times a man came out of the fog with a chainsaw and that image really stuck with me. I was like, imagine that's the final thing you see before you die. Like that, you're going to heaven rattled. At the gates like, oh my gosh. It's like, oh my God. Where am I?

And you're like checking in and you're like, I don't know if you know what happened to me. Like you would just be like that annoying person in heaven being like, it was so traumatic. And then Tupac's like, shut up. Imagine what I went through. Yeah, I did really enjoy it. And I don't usually voluntarily do scary things, but it felt very festive yeah and i had a corn dog that was mostly corn and it filled me up very fast and i had lemonade just listening to foods that i had

not to interrupt you but we were online to get this corn dog and out of nowhere so she turned around and went well i guess i'll have to get two corn dogs. And I was like, as opposed to what? And why, what is this sudden choice? It wasn't out of nowhere because we were looking at the menu and I was like, there's no French fries? I really want French fries.

And then I was like, guess I'll have to get two corn dogs. It was, it made me laugh so hard. One corn dog and french fries but there were french fries at a different stand I just didn't want to change my mind about the decision I made

of getting two corn dogs and then I came back with french fries and I shared them with you yeah I'm glad you did they were tasty too they were good french fries also I got a funnel cake I love funnel cake and I waited i said i ate too many french fries and a little slider i gotta wait to eat this funnel cake and then i got the funnel

cake and it wasn't fried it wasn't golden it was like it was like a like a a yellow, but it wasn't like a golden, crispy, yummy thing. And I was kind of devastated. That's devastating. I know. And then we sat on a hay thing and we're waiting for our friends who had already left. Yes. There was three haunted houses

and we were like, we can't do the last one. And then they went into the last one and they were just like chilling outside for a long time. And they're like, see you at the bus? And I was like, we can't do the last one. And then they went into the last one. And they were just like chilling outside for a long time. And they're like, see you at the bus? And I was like, oh my God. Where were you guys? We were just sitting outside. We thought we were outside.

Yeah. I don't know where. I still don't know where they came out of. I don't either. Boy, oh boy. It reminded me. Also the fastest haunted house ever. Just like two rooms.

I think it was because it was closing and there wasn't a lot of people. So it was like, get in, get out. Yeah. But it reminded me of the time I got lost in Universal Studios, Florida. I had to play my friend's bachelorette. She loves Harry Potter. And I was like, well, go to Harry Potter World because she was getting married in Florida. And we went to this uh this male review which was

wild uh there was literally us and two other people there it was very funny but anyway universal my phone wasn't charging and i was i think in in a zone where i was like i i simply can't spend money on something i need i instead will spend money going to Universal Studios with my friends. But I was like, my phone's dying. It's dead. And then everyone's like, okay, we're going to ride the Harry Potter ride. And I was like, great. I'll just sit by the ride.

And to me, I sat at a great spot. But when my friend Evan found me, he was like, you're sitting literally behind the ride. Nobody would be able to, like, I had to walk. He he was like we were walking for 45 minutes trying to find you and i was like and i wrote my little harry potter joke and i was like i'm getting work done and then everyone was frantically looking for me why weren't they calling you my phone was off because it wasn't charging so it was like that's a wrap. Oh, damn. Yeah. That's scary. It is a little scary to get lost in Universal Studios. Or at least to be thought of lost.

I knew where I was. I didn't feel lost. I didn't feel lost whatsoever. I was having a nice time by myself. That is very funny. It is a weird feeling when people are like i was worried about you i didn't know where you were and you're like oh i just um that was fine i was chilling i mean we me and a friend thought you were lost at one point yes they called me and then i said go go to

where the show was because i was in a different state and it's wild that we did that because you were an adult woman who knew exactly where you were yeah yep I was like I I said where I was gonna go I was at a show and then I guess I didn't say I was gonna hang out after I don't know fun times fun times oh i'm obsessed with this outfit that you wore last night and i keep thinking about it oh it's so cute because it reminds me of this um this jumpsuit i had as a kid and yours is like red and like magenta flowers and the one I had was black based with purple and magenta and blue flowers and I have been on a quest to try to find it it's been hard it's hard to find vintage things I wish I had a person who could just show me exactly what I want yeah I'm sure you could find it you think i don't know actually me who does that it's not a tailor

no who who just sews things for you yeah who just sews stuff for you who can there should be a company where you submit exactly what you want and then they send it to you that would be so nice oh my god because i am dying for a denim short set with a matching vest and like a floral print denim or like a striped denim like very 80s 90s feel and they're very hard to find in the blue size and a seamstress and a tailor they can sew things for you and adjust things for you but But can they create a whole new thing? Like source the fabric, make me an outfit, send it to my home. Yeah. I'll reach out to my friend.

Her and my sister worked at Puma together. And she was the one who told me, because I was like, oh, your jeans fit great. She's like, every jean I have, she's like, I know the people and they fix the jeans. And I was like, I'll reach out to her and get that information for you, Nicole. And I believe they do it

all shapes and sizes, but it's all denim specific. But will they supply the denim fabric? We could check. We could check. Okay. Yeah.

This is great. Thank you so much. Hell yeah. Look at that. Hell hell yeah as can you shall receive yes as if i need more clothes yeah i just donated a ton of stuff to saint vincent de paul and while i was there i was like well i should look just to see what else is here and of course there's a chair room and i was like oh man i don't i don't did you get any more chairs no i didn't get any more chairs i did find some two really cute chairs i was like they just need to be reupholstered on the seat but where would i put them i'm trying to get rid of stuff

well here's the thing look around your house and go, do I like this chair? Because you can get rid of a chair and bring in a new chair. Well, here's the thing. I'm trying to get rid of a chair just so I can move another chair. There's a chair in a place that I don't want it. And then that's just displace another chair in a place I don't want it. Displaced. You have chair refugees around your house. Chairs with no homes. They really are. so i have one chair that i was like i

don't want you but as soon as you leave then the other chair can go in that place and then the chair the chair that's been displaced can go back to where it belongs boy oh boy i also need to stop looking at furniture online because they just keep making great furniture that i'm like oh this is this is nice i guess maybe you could do um i mean well actually i have no idea how involved it is but i was gonna say maybe you can do like the uh renting furniture program what i don't know what i'm trying to say i know there's like a a renting furniture program there's rent a center right or like places where you can rent furniture i don't think it's i it might not be cute i have not looked at the website but i feel like there should be a cute rentable furniture place well they'll come deliver something and they'll take it away from you and they'll replace it with something cute and that would be really nice it would be nice because i follow a

couple instagrams where people are like you know i had my room like this for two years and i fully completely changed it and sometimes i'm like i would like to do that yeah but i don't think so i don't think that's for me I think that's a little too much yeah but I am painting a lot in my house every room is now a color yeah and it feels good yeah change is good change I'm trying to learn that through therapy that change is good and change is okay change is okay it is okay could you quit no okay did you have something else to say no i was hoping you had something else to say well you opened your mouth like you had something to say oh my golly um okay you sent me oh wait i want to talk about this man on instagram okay Okay, I think everybody needs to follow him.

Hold on, let me find out his name real quick. He does reviews and he is the most earnest person I have ever seen. And he's Luke Foods underscore. And he went to Red Lobster, I really like this one, for $22 endless shrimp. And he like rates them he gives some things like a zero a two um he ate cake at golden corral and he was like this is funky i give it a one and i genuinely love him so much yeah i love how earnest he is i love that he has like a genuine opinion and he's not just

trying to be like yeah it's fine he's like this is disgusting this is nasty he used a word that i can't i think it was like grody or something i don't know it was just so funny to me i like kind of want to go somewhere with him and rate food i i'm sure he would love that oh it would be so wonderful do endless shrimp with my new friend luke oh my word i guess now we can do a quiz okay oh there he is there's my friend luke wow he has half a million followers oh my god the word's out i guess everybody knows them pick a food for every cuisine and i'll tell you which fall scent you embody okay let's do that yeah buzzfeed coming together how many fall scents are there i feel like it's mostly pumpkin spice yeah pumpkin spice leaves leaves as a false scent yeah you've never gone outside and put your little nostrils in a bunch of leaves i haven't i guess i

was thinking of scents that are made into like candles or like cinnamon, like cinnamon. But I've never seen like a fall leaf. You've never lit up a leaf candle? I sure haven't. You know what? Me either. I have a leaf candle. You do? I do. Oh.

Look at me. I'm not an idiot. I'm right here knowing what false scents are. My mistake. I take it back. It's the silly. It's the silly, it's just silly Yankee candle just making up like names.

They all smell the same to me, but it's all like, like fall leaves or fall trees. I don't know. Well, I'm going to tell you a candle that you need to get

the fuck up into. I don't know if I've talked about it on this podcast, but Sashir's mother gave her a candle. Sashir's not, I don't think you're into scented. Oh, your dad. I don't know if I've talked about it on this podcast but but Sashir's mother gave her a candle Sashir's not I don't think my dad oh your dad I don't think you're into scented candles I know a candle girl I'm not a candle girl I think I'm lighting them a little bit more but I'm still

not I prefer incense yes well I I like incense and I love a candle and it's gingham gorgeous and they don't sell it anymore. And I've been having a real hard time finding dupes. So then I just went on to resale sites and I bought 10 of them. And then I threw out all of my other candles because I was like, this is the one for me. This is the new me. This is who I am. I am gingham gorgeous. Oh my goodness. And I was explaining this to my therapist

and she was like, you have ADD so bad. ADD, like you hyper fixate on something that you like. And then you're like, I have to have it. I have to have more of it. And then like another thing I do is when I find like a pair of jeans I like i will wear them they will be dirty and then i will forget that i have two other pairs because they're also dirty and then i'll buy another pair so i have another pair but now i have four pairs of the same pants it's it's literally exhausting But then do any of them ever get clean?

Oh, yeah, I'll wash them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll wash them. Yeah, don't worry about me. I'll wash them. Also, I keep leaving my car key in my car. Oh, my God. And it's really upsetting. Because when I valet, I take it off my giant key ring.

Oh, yes. Because I've had valet people complain about how big my key chain is. So then I'll take it off, but then it has to find its way back on. But then I have to leave the valet stand because it's busy. And then I'll put it in the cup holder and then I'll go inside my house and then I'll leave the next day and I'll go,

I don't know where my car key is. And then I'll get in my car and go, someone could have really Zoom Zoomed away. I gave it to them. Maybe you can put your car key on like one of those carabiners, like one of those clips. So you could just like quickly like put it under your key chain as opposed to like the loopy thing.

Here's something sad. It is on a carabiner. And I still forget to put it on. It's an illness. I'm sick. Because that's so fast. I understand you have to get out of the valet section, but that takes a second. No?

Yeah, it does take a second. And every time I get in my car and go, oh, here's my key. I guess it also would be helpful if i locked my car door but i don't because the the okay here's the thing if i lock the car then i have to dig into my purse to get the keys to unlock the car and if you don't lock your car you can skip that step okay how about this what about if you get in your car they hand you the key from the valet put it in your bra yeah and then when you get inside the house eventually it'll come out yes but probably upstairs and then i'll leave the key upstairs and get in my car and then go

i don't know where my key is. Oh, okay. Interesting. It's really, it's terrible. Oh my God, Sashir, I told you about this man who tried to get into my car? Yeah. It was so, I mean, I had a bad reaction. I was like, huh, that's wild. And then later I was like, no, no, that was actually scary. That's scary, yeah.

Because he just like walked to the car and tried to open it? Uh-huh. And I'm not an Uber, i have a two-door car and then i rolled down the window and i was like yes and he just went sorry and then faded away into the darkness i don't like that i don't like it either but my new rule is when i'm in the car we lock the doors when i'm out of the car you can have it and something was stolen from my car once my sunglasses um they were designer thank you but they were prescription and i was like i mean if you really need to see wobble a wobble vision because i have my bad vision if you want to not see clearly, you can have them. It was just the sunglasses?

Sure was. They left my stripper shoes. They left my basketball. They left my roller skates. They left my blanket. They're like, this girl likes to have fun. But I will take these sunnies. I will take this. Damn.

All right. Let's pick a food for every cuisine and and then buzzfeed will tell us which fall scent we embody pick an american food brownies apple pie hamburger well that's a cheeseburger with bacon that's a bacon cheeseburger macaroni and cheese french no what chicken tenders what was that based off of because like the the word definitely doesn't look like french fries and they also don't look like french fries i listen picture doesn't look like french fries. I, listen, the brain. Okay, I think what happens is sometimes my mouth is moving faster than what my brain is taking in. Okay, okay. I told you I was mentally ill not five minutes ago.

You did say that. Hot dog. Okay, this is wild because I have to choose between dessert and bar food wait which one was a dessert oh the brownies in the apple pie friend that yeah that's very strange yeah what kind of mood am i in what part of the meal is this yeah are brownies strictly american interesting um yeah i have no idea me either i would imagine brownies are in other places but i guess i don't know i don't know are they picking up baguettes and brownies are they picking up empanadas and brownies are they what else what else are they picking up lasagna and brownies dumplings and brownies i think i'm gonna have to go with uh a burger

i'm gonna do a hot dog well i think we all knew that was coming i really do love how much you love hot dogs yeah and i think i can eat so i downloaded this app called fig and it you can put in your food specifications like if you're gluten-free or if you can't have like certain chemicals or whatever and all beef hot dogs are okay that's great yes thank you so much i'm really excited for you thank you so much. I'm really excited for you. Thank you so much. I know how hard it was when you were like, I can't have hot dogs anymore. Yeah, it was really, really hard. I think as long as it's like nitrate free and like.

Okay. Just meat. Like actual meat. I think it's okay. Yeah, not bullshit. I mean. It's not bullshit, yeah. Have you ever tried to make a hot dog?

Whoa, I wouldn't even know where to start me either i have no idea because you have to case it or oh yeah i guess you'd have to grind it case it and we don't have that equipment or the time no sir wait so okay how about something from Mexico? Burrito. Ooh, elote. Enchiladas. Tamales. Quesadilla. Tacos.

Oh, I fucking love a quesadilla. Is that your choice? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm going to say elote. I love elote. What's elote? Is that corn? It Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm going to say elote. I love elote. What's elote? Is that corn?

It's corn, yeah. With like seasonings and cheese and stuff. I'm not a huge corn head just because like, I just like see it in the toilet later and it's upsetting. Do you know what I mean? That is upsetting. Yes. It's like, oh, God. Whole kernels?

Italian food, anyone? Pizza. A calzone. A lasagna. A gelato. Minestrone soup. A meatball. I was doing that to our friend Julia, and she was like, Nicole, you can't, like, she

was like, what if I talk to you in a black accent? And I was like i guess i'd be upset she's like what if i did an asian accent i was like oh i guess we'd all be upset and she's like so don't do an italian accent and then me and will were like oh by the way mama me mama me you can't tell me not to do it uh i can't remember who i was talking to but they're like, Italian accents are like the last accent you can like make fun of. Yeah. Yeah. I guess because, I don't know. I've never heard anyone really mad about it.

Except for the story you're describing. Let's see. I feel like I got to do pizza. Yeah, pizza. I think like I gotta do pizza. Yeah, pizza. I think I have to do lasagna. I fucking love lasagna. Call me Garfield. Care for some French cuisine?

I guess you could do a French accent, too. Crepes. care for some french cuisine i guess you could do a french accent too crepes oh gosh french like no i'm not can do it no don't be this is safe space it It's only me listening and Judith and Jordan. Are you sure no one else is listening? No one else will hear you do this. Okay. A French onion soup.

Ha, ha, ha. The way your whole body jiggled with that was incredible. A cream puffs chocolate souffle apple tart that brought me joy that brought me joy. Oh my God.

Uh, I do love a quiche, an eggy treat, but I also love a souffle, a chocolate treat. Oh, what are you going to go with? I think a cream puff.

Oh, look at you. You little slut. cream puff. Oh, look at you, you little slut. Oh, no. I think I'm going to go quiche. Yeah. Japanese food? This one we can't do in an accent. Udon.

Tempura. Miso soup. Nigiri. Mochi. Tofu. Mmm. I'm really like a, I'm a new tofu person. I didn't really love tofu, but I had tofu the other day and I was like, this is great.

Oh, nice. Yeah. I think I'm going to say, ooh. No, go ahead. No, ooh. Finish your thing. Oh, nice. Yeah. I think I'm going to say oop. No, go ahead. No, oop. Finish your thing. No, oop. Are you going to say tofu?

Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say mochi. Oh, mochi is like a little too chewy for me. I think that's why I like it because it's like cold ice cream but it has like a gummy exterior that i can bite into and it doesn't hurt oh are you a person who chews ice cream no but it's just so like loose and cold oh but ice cream is loose but mochi's encased

mochi's got like a boundary and so i can do it i like that your issue with ice cream is as loose it's just too loose a description nobody has ever had about ice cream i don't think i describe ice cream well it's loose um i don't think you do either and it's very funny one time i called it thin no i was talking about gelato i was like it's thinner than ice cream which is not true i think it's thicker than ice cream well i don't know it's a good memory i laughed so hard that night i laughed hard last night too yeah me hard last night, too. Yeah, me too. Last night was fun.

That was very fun. Pick a Chinese food item. Chow mein. Peking roast duck? Or is it Peking? Peking? I think it's Peking. Okay.

Spring rolls. Sticky rice. Potstickers. I really like pork fried rice and I'm kind of upset it's not there. So sorry. It's okay. I think I'm going to pick chow mein because I love a nudie. No, I'm going to pick pot pot stickers because i love meat encased

i'm gonna pick wonton soup because it's like nice and warm i like i like the warm soup aspect of it but i like that i'm also chewing a meal i that's that's great. I like that. I'm chewing a meal. You know, for someone who loves food, the way you describe it is wild. I need to do food reviews. This is great because you get to chew this. Lastly, pick a famous dish. Paella? Paella. Paella?

Mm hmm. Oh, chicken tikka masala kebab pho beef wellington beef wellington is surprising to me because it's something that i feel like i should like it's meat encased in a puff pastry but you put mustard around the meat before you encase it in the puff pastry, and that's where you fucking lose me. Why are we putting mustard on meat like that? Yeah, I get that. I think I have to pick kebab. I love kebabs.

Yeah, they're so simple. Just meat on a stick. Yeah, and that makes me really happy what are you picking diva i think i'm gonna pick the paella yes diva yeah i think i had paella once and it was like burnt on the bottom yeah that's how it is oh yeah i mean yeah it'd be like extra crunchy but yes yeah that's that's usually how it is this is this year's uh results cinnamon that's my false scent you're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in yeah and you're filled to the brim with sarcasm and wit you're intelligent but you don't always show it wow i do said you're dumb buzzfeed said you you read dumb to

people here's that's a wild thing to say to somebody you're intelligent but you don't always show it or maybe it's like i don't like i'm not like trying to brag about how smart i am that's a good way to spin that. But also, are these the qualities of cinnamon? Yes. Cinnamon is so smart, but it's like coy about it. Also, cinnamon is always like, that's wrong. That's not right.

I don't believe that. And have you ever talked to cinnamon? It is so sarcastic. You're just like, what? Yeah, you know, I guess I don't hang around cinnamon that much. Me, jars and jars of it right next to me at all times. Okay, mine is cedar wood. You are a strong person who is even a bit stubborn. You can be described as a natural leader.

You admire originality over anything else. person who is even a bit stubborn you can be described as a natural leader you admire originality over anything else and it matters a lot to you that you make the best decisions buzzfeed looked into my soul oh yeah this is i think yours is pretty spot on too i also except for the intelligent part i think you show it off thanks you're Yeah, this is actually a pretty good assessment. Excuse me. Is your hand raised? I raised my hand. Yes, Nicole. Okay. I figured out the intelligent part. It's in regards to me. So sometimes I say something very, very dumb and you just let it go because it's not like a detriment to me and the world. So you're just like, sure, that's a belief she can have for the time being. And you'll only correct me if I like say it to too many people.

So you're like not showboating how smart you are. You're allowing others to be who they are. And then you'll be like, hey, Nicole, that is fundamentally wrong. When like there's a bunch of people and I'm like, guess what I learned? And you're like, no, no, friend, that's not it. But it's gentle and nice. Wow. Thank you.

I like that. You're welcome. It's honestly, I think I've told you this. I think I called you and I was like, I had an epiphany. One of my favorite things about you is you don't make me feel stupid. Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad I make you feel that way. Because you're not stupid. Hey, thank thank you i just say insane things sometimes yeah and i like that it's just because my mouth is moving faster than

the brain and sometimes vice versa and sometimes it all shuts down like last night for whatever reason i decided to stomp into a conversation. Yeah, that's funny. And then the next conversation, I followed you around this bar. I was like, you will not leave me alone. And then the next conversation, I tried to sneak in, but then I didn't have enough room. And I think my brain was off at that point. I was just being weird. Yeah, that was funny. yeah this is funny

oh boy should we answer questions and like help people let's help people is this a onesie you're wearing or is this a hoodie just a hoodie

oh I wish it was a onesie so're wearing or is this a hoodie? Just a hoodie. I wish it was a onesie. So like you're so daring wearing white. White is scary. And I'm drinking a pressed juice with carrot and orange in it. It's a risk. That is a risk. What if you spill?

Then I get orange on my white hoodie. Oh, Lord. That would be devastating. But do you spill? Then I get orange on my white hoodie. Oh, Lord. That would be devastating. But do you have OxyClean? I do. And it works. I like it. Maybe you are the one who's preaching me the good word of OxyClean.

It's wild. Yeah. I feel like we should all be talking about OxyClean more. We should. It really works. It's great. It gets any old stain out and it's it's truly incredible it is a miracle sent by the good lord like how did they figure this out i don't know but that

man who's always yelling figured it out figured it out and i understand why he's yelling now he's like it works he's like why why are people listening to me? I'm telling you it works. And I'm here now, unsponsored by OxyClean. Get yourself a tub. If you got whites to wash, get yourself a tub. Get yourself a tub. Sprinkle it in.

Have a nice time. We have an email. Hello, hello. You ladies are the absolute best you're honest and funny advice but more importantly your incredible friendship has kept me hooked on your podcast for years here's the cue my boyfriend 28 and i 29 each have a couple of circles of friends he has his hometown friends and college friends all of which he seems relatively close to, meaning the group hangs out frequently. I have a handful of hometown friends, some college friends, and friends I've made since moving to the city four years ago. I have different friendship dynamics with each

group. I met my boyfriend's friends pretty quickly. We all tailgated at a concert together, and I've been invited to group events ever since. The group is mostly couples. I don't have group hangouts with my friends as regularly as he does with his friends. My boyfriend has met some of my city city girlfriends when we were all, when we were all already out and just ended up meeting up at the same bar. My girlfriends and I usually do solo weekend, weekend night. Well, my girlfriends and I usually either do solo weeknight dinner or drinks or plan an event or something with the larger group weeks to months out, holiday parties, birthday outings, etc. My question is, what's the best way to introduce my boyfriend to my friend group groups when the dynamic of my friend groups is different than his? I obviously want my boyfriend to meet all my friends as these are important people in my life that i care a lot

about i also don't want too much time to pass before my boyfriend thinks either one my friends are imaginary two i don't take our relationship seriously enough to introduce him to my friends or three i just depend on his friend group to do fun things regular regularly more questions what was your approach to introducing your current past partners to the friend group? What was the balance between hanging out with theirs versus your friend group? Would you think less of your partner if their friendship dynamic was different than yours? Interested to see where this discussion goes. Truly grateful for any and all thoughts and advice you have. F is for friends. P.S. Nicole, I can't wait to see

you in Boston in November. I'm excited. I'm at the Wilbur, I believe November 11th. So there's a late show added because the first show sold out. So come. I'm glad I got to plug myself during a a question um so sheer i feel like you have introduced people a partner to friend groups do you want to do you want to take the lead on this friend oh sure way to lead me in i thought you're gonna actually answer the question you You're just like, you can do that. So go. Well, I feel like I have told people, like, I want you to meet this person. So we will make a, like, specific hangout so we can do that. Like, a double date or just, like, like come to my house we'll hang or something

like that but like i don't think i if it's like a first meeting um i think i've been clear about like i want you to meet this person like either to my friends like i want you to meet my partner or to my partner i want you to meet this friend because this person is important to me. And since you're in my life, they will also be in your life. So yeah, I think I've done it like that. And then eventually it just becomes like natural or like, oh, we're going to do this. Do you want to join? Or if there's a larger hang and people are bringing their partners and i would bring my partner too but yeah i think i think if if you're having trouble initially at first you can just tell people hey it's actually important for me for you guys to meet my partner

can we set up a hang so we can do that and then and then that can happen yeah i think that's solid advice uh i think it's important to tell your partner that it's important for them to meet your friends and then it's like yeah just set up a little hang where you know maybe there's it's a it's a partner mingle and or like i like the idea of him joining your friends for drinks like that's fun like you know he could just tag along to things and just like tell your friends oh he's gonna come because i want i want you to meet him um but then also i think it's okay if he has a more active friendship life where there's like a group leader who plans things and you go to those things i think that's absolutely fine i think it's fine to have different friendship dynamics yeah totally yeah And I there might even be an opportunity for you to mix the groups.

Like if it's someone's birthday or or whatever, if you're if your partners, friends are like doing some big activity, like going to a sports thing. Yeah. Sports thing at a stadium or like a park or I don't know. They're doing something where it's like other people can come too. Maybe you invite your friends as well and then see if like the groups can mingle a little bit. Or that your partner can like be introducing people in a like environment where they have their own people too. And they can be like, there can be breaks, social breaks where they're like, okay, now I'm going to go talk to people I'm comfortable with. And now I'm going to try to like meet new people, et cetera. Yeah, I think that's great.

Yeah. Solved. Solved. Hello, Nicole. Hello, Sashir. Hi, Kimmy and Jordan as well. and Jordan as well. I wanted to call in because I have a bit of a little friend group drama and I'm unsure how to go about it. But we have me and my best friend Jenna.

We have a friend group and we have a girl in there. We'll call her Mary. Mary has always had this thing about, like, people texting back too slow. Like, it's kind of a pet peeve of hers. And she doesn't also quite get that, you know, we all have, like, other things that we do. And, you know, I'm a full-time student and I work, so I don't have any days off. My best friend's a businesswoman. She literally works, you know, Monday through Friday. She puts her nose to the grind. And sometimes we don't text back that way. If it's anything like an event, like, that needs

our, like, RSVP, like, a reservation or anything, we definitely kind of, you know, reach out and everything. We do all that. But, like, there's certain things like memes and stuff that we don't really, you know, respond to as quickly as she'd she'd like um and kind of been building up in her and she has this cousin that isn't really um good with his liquor is not um is not really like fun to be around either and we've kind of expressed that and so in our group chat she put that she was having a birthday thing and she was like no obligation to go and you know when I hear that like I don't feel obligated to reply because it doesn't matter if I'm there or not why does it matter if I am attending it's not like there is a reservation it was like just to hang and I don't really want to be around him when he's

drunk. So it was like, I kind of thought we were on the same page of that. But anyway, my best friend Jenna reached out to her because we she got called. We all got called. We got called assholes by this girl

because we didn't reply. And Jenna reached out and said hey like i don't appreciate being called an asshole like there's better ways to bring something up that upsets you then you don't need to resort to name calling and they get into it and then it ends up with jenna leaving the chat and i'm kind of like, are we the assholes? Because we've told her, like, yeah, girl, like, sometimes we're not really there to respond right away. Like, that's just kind of how we do it. Like, I'm not always there to respond.

And she still kind of doesn't get that. And she kind of expects us to respond super quickly. And then she's just, like, throwing it in our face that we don't. And it's kind of like, well, like, that's just kind of who we are. Like, I'm sorry, but this is getting really long. But I don't know if we're the asshole or not. I don't think they're the assholes. I think it's so I, I sometimes get worried when people don't answer me quickly. And I think I've gotten better with this because sometimes I'll text you, or in the past I've like texted you, been like, excuse me, hi, where are you?

Hello? And I think I'm better now at not doing that. And it's just, it's like an anxious attachment thing where you feel like some, like you make up things as to why people aren't responding to you and it's a hard thing be on the other end of it because it's hard to be like it is unreasonable for you to expect me to respond instantly yeah um and yeah i i don't really i don't know how to tell that person that because it is really hard. And I feel like it's something that an anxious attached person has to realize for themselves.

That it's like, oh, me expecting someone to answer me five minutes after I text them is literally insane because people are living their own lives. And it's not a life or death question. Like you're not in the hospital.'s no emergency you're fine but to answer your question you're not assholes i think it's fine to not reply to a text that's like here's an invite no presh don't come like you don't have to come um yeah i think uh i think mary's hurt because i agree with what you're saying about like no one should be expected to respond so quickly i don't know what the other scenarios are where this where mary was expecting a fast text but the specific issue that they're talking about But the specific issue that they're talking about, Mary invited her friends to her birthday and no one responded.

I think I would be hurt. Wait, it wasn't her birthday. It was her cousin's birthday. Is that right? It was her cousin's birthday? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was her birthday. I was like, what the fuck?

No, if it was her birthday, I'd be like, yeah, you guys are all assholes. You're friends and you're not responding to this girl's birthday invite. That's what I thought was happening. Her cousin who's hard to be around, who's a bad drinker. So it's like, it's already not a fun time. And then Mary invited them to this person's party and then said, no pressure. So when I hear no pressure, that means there's no pressure to respond to this. There's no pressure to go to this. that means there's no pressure to respond to this there's no pressure to go to this yeah i i'm i i guess i sometimes am a person who is like what's happened if i hear if there's

silence i'm like what's happening like what and i i think i do have a little bit of anxious attachment stuff too but uh i also just love communication Like I just like would rather you say, oh, thanks for the invite. Even that, even if it's just thanks for the invite or like, I don't think I'm going to make it. Because like you already have the talk. You guys don't like her cousin. You don't want to be around this person, especially on their birthday, because they probably will drink too much. But that discussion does not have to happen in the group chat. But just saying like

even thumbs upping it something i think but getting zero response i think is like kind of shitty and like yes i i guess i understand what the person's the caller is saying about uh you know we can't be expected to respond quickly but you should respond at some point i think i think at some point uh i would get frustrated too and be like this sucks why do i feel like i'm talking to myself you know i do see where you're coming from as well uh i guess if it wasn't like late responses on a ton of things and then no response on this, that would make me upset. But if it was like, you know, timely responses, late responses, timely responses, no answer, then I think I'd be fine. But if it was like a culmination of like being ignored, I think I would also get frustrated.

So I see what you're saying. Yeah. And, you know, Mary probably didn't need to call them assholes. No. yeah and you know the mary probably didn't need to call them assholes no and could have voiced their frustration in a different way and been like hey this doesn't feel good um because i don't know what you guys are thinking and like what can you respond to anything um but also i i understand that feeling because you want to feel like you're part of the group and that the group is excited to talk to you. And of course, there needs to be some grace and leniency for people who have busy schedules. But also, this is your friend, right?

Like you should respond at some point to let them know that, I don't know, just let them know anything. a no that that i don't know just let them know anything i think i'd rather if it's a no i think i'd rather see you write no than nothing you know and also maybe she's inviting her friends to her cousin's party because maybe she doesn't want to be alone at her cousin's party maybe she wants some support and she said no presh but like maybe it wasn't actually no presh maybe it's like no presh because i actually don't want to no presh maybe it's like no presh because i actually don't want to pressure you but like it'd be nice like it actually would be nice if you were there with me because like maybe she feels obligated to be there for her cousin or maybe she likes her cousin i don't know we don't know the parameters of her relationship with her

cousin but uh she invited you for a reason so maybe just respond yeah okay i changed my advice it was bad it wasn't bad no it's terrible and i'm stupid i agree with you smart solved no but i still agree with you about the like responding thing which also can be a conversation like not everyone has the same communication etiquette and I think it for people who have annoyed me communication wise if they say oh actually I like when I start getting involved with work or like a thing it's hard for me to jump back on my phone so this is why I fall off or something work or like a thing, it's hard for me to jump back on my phone. So this is why I fall off or something like that. And then I have that information.

So I'm not. So when it happens again, I'm like, oh, that's why this is happening. Or like, oh, sorry. When we start texting, I don't know how to stop because I feel like we're in a conversation. And when you stop, it makes me feel like you just like walked away from the conversation or something, you know? Like I'd rather you say BRB or like, like, oops, running,

running to do a thing so I know that the conversation has ended as opposed to you just putting your phone down. Like, I think those things can be said

because it's not inherent and people communicate differently and text is hard. It's just very hard. It's so hard to read nuance and sarcasm and yeah yeah okay so solved well if you have any questions or queries that you want to email or text us you can email nicoleanseshear at gmail.com or call text or leave a voice memo at 424-645-7003.

And if you have money burning a hole in your pocket, we have merch at podswag.com slash bestfriends. We also have transcripts for our new episodes. You can check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. It's the easiest way to support the show. Yes. Oh, my word.

Well, Sashir, goodbye. Well, Nicole, goodbye.