Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Learns About Destroy Dick December
Episode Date: March 6, 2024Hey friends! This week, Nicole and Sasheer discuss suspicious leaks in and around their homes. Nicole had an orange cat visit her and so did Sasheer. Sasheer likes to think her cat is respected by the... coyotes. Nicole wishes Clyde would let her get to know the cat. Sasheer and Nicole have seen skunks and they’re big. Nicole asks what to do if a house is sliding towards you. Sasheer thinks you just become the Wicked Witch of the West. Nicole wishes she could sing like Liza Minnelli. Sasheer learns that there is a Black Women's History Month. Nicole asks about all the monthly observances. Sasheer learns about Destroy Dick December. Nicole thinks she’s going to celebrate that month for sure. They answer questions from listeners about a friend talking badly about how they take care of their dog, feeling like the third wheel, and how to approach strangers in real life!    This was recorded on Feb 08th, 2024  Sources:Wizard of Oz Stolen Ruby Slippershttps://apnews.com/article/wizard-oz-stolen-ruby-slippers-judy-garland-f2bd6d4455a9821c311d1d0a03f6d77a Black Women’s History Monthhttps://mcpl.info/staff-picks/April%20Is%20Black%20Women%27s%20History%20Month List of month long observanceshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_month-long_observances No BuzzFeed quiz this week.   Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:424-645-7003nicoleandsasheer@gmail.com Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi!
Hi!
How are you?
I'm good, how are you?
Listen, I'm good.
It's not raining today.
It's not raining today, thank goodness.
I can't take it anymore.
It's not great.
I don't like it.
I don't like the rain. It's not great. I don't like it. I don't like the rain.
I did not move to Saddle.
To Seattle?
Yeah, that's where the rain is.
To Saddle?
Seattle, Washington.
No, you did not move to Saddle.
No, I live in Cleveland.
And I just don't get it.
It affects my mood.
It affects my overall life. I don't get it. It affects my mood. It affects my overall life.
I don't like it.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
It's not okay.
I do like it a little bit because I just sleep and listen to it.
And that's nice.
I like sleeping to the rain and waking up to the rain because then I'm like, but I also have the luxury of not needing to go anywhere right now.
And I'm calling it a luxury and not a dearth of work.
And now the fact that I don't have to be anywhere and that no one needs me to be anywhere.
I had the luxury.
I mean, I do have the luxury to be at home, work from home.
But I just it's bad.
Yeah. And my house keeps leaking and I have to deal with that.
Yeah. So now I have a wall that's just open and fans running on it.
And then I bought a wet vacuum.
I don't know how to fucking use it.
And I looked at the instructions and I read them with my good eyes.
I had contacts in. Oh, so those were the I read them with my good eyes. I had contacts in.
Oh, so those were the good eyes.
Those were my good eyes.
And I like simply can't figure it out.
And then I had to buy more baking soda because that absorbs water.
And I don't want to get rid of this rug because I love this rug.
It's just, it's tough in these streets.
This is a shop fact?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I have one.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I have one. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes there's like two switches.
One makes it blow out and one sucks it in.
So maybe I don't...
Was, um...
I'm gonna be so mad if I was blowing out and not in.
But like, I think I... No, I was blowing in okay sucks i was sucking uh sucking not blowing and it like was sucking up the it wasn't sucking
up the water but then i was like is the rug like it's just damp so will it not suck up damp? But it should. Yeah, it should.
There's so much baking soda on my carpet because that allegedly absorbs moisture.
Yeah.
And it ain't stinking.
And then what do you do?
Do you vacuum the baking soda out of it?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's what the internet told me.
Yeah.
And right now I just have towels to soak up the water when it it's it's tough yeah it's not fun i don't like it also i know how like it's like yay i have a place and it's nice that i
have a but i'm like i don't want to deal with this every time it fucking rains i need to I found a website that says
I guess there's a company that can detect
where leaks happen or like they have like a machine
that says like where water
is coming from and they're like
before you call us do these steps
to even see if you have a leak and it's like
shutting off all the water
in your home to and then seeing
if the water meter is still going then you know you have a leak.
I need to do that because my
stairs outside my
house are just wet all the
time. And it's mysterious and it
doesn't make sense to me. And I'm like,
it's not raining today.
Why are just the stairs wet?
Is it soaking?
It's like evident.
It's a darker color than the rest of the floor. Is it a lot? Do you think it could be an animal There's like, it's like evident. It's like, it looks, it's a darker color than the rest of the floor.
Is it a lot?
Do you think it could be an animal who's like peeing?
Got to pee pee.
I think it's too much.
Is that animal sick?
I think it's too much for one animal to be doing.
Unless a bunch of animals are lining up at the top of the stairs and pissing at the same time and leaving.
Imagine they're like, all right, got to make it to the piss time.
There was, I can't remember if I talked about it on the show.
There was a morning where crows surrounded my home and all started screeching at the same time.
And I was like, do you need me?
They were like, wake up.
And I had a friend who said that sometimes that happens when they see a crow like a fellow crow being attacked
or something. Oh no. Or something that
they don't like so they surround it and like use
noise to like
like harass the
attacker or something. Wow.
So I don't know what was happening out in the yard. I don't
know. You gotta look
at them cameras. This is true.
You can figure it out real easily.
I really felt like they were like on top of the house. of them cameras this is true you can figure it out real easily but they don't i don't i really
felt like they were like on top of the house i hope they were just trying to wake you up they're
like this bitch is gonna be late and i was like huh yeah don't they know i have the luxury of not
needing to be anywhere right now there was a cat in my backyard an orange a light orange cat oh i
have an orange cat in my yard oh i wonder if it's making the rounds maybe it's like gotta go on a trip uh and i was trying to get it inside because oh i
just didn't know if it was someone's cat or a street cat that needed saving yeah um and it was
like coming towards me it was like oh i think you're gonna help me and i was gonna help it home
um and then i didn't close the door all the way and then clyde came flying out It was like, oh, I think you're going to help me. And I was going to help it home. And then I
didn't close the door all the way. And then Clyde came
flying out and was like, who are you?
And then chased the cat away.
And
I'm sad. Yeah.
So is the cat. Yeah.
That cat was like, I almost got saved.
And then this
damned dog.
Well, Clyde was just doing his job i know i know protecting the
home protecting the house protecting me yeah but i sometimes i'm just like chill out sir i don't
need to be protected in this moment i'm inviting the cat in yes he can't tell but then i really
thought about it i was like i don't have a box. I don't have anything for this cat.
But I guess I would put it in the bathroom and then go get things.
Okay.
Until I figured out where it belonged.
Did it have a collar?
See, I couldn't really tell.
It was a little dark. I hope it's okay.
Probably.
The orange cat in my yard is doing just fine.
Oh.
I've seen, like, I've watched the ring cameras on it.
Because I've had the thought of, like, does this cat need a home?
Is it safe?
Chilling.
Just, like, roaming around.
And, like, on the same night, the coyotes are also roaming around.
But I think this cat, like, maybe, like, scratched one of them on the nose or something.
I like to think the coyotes respect this cat.
I like this.
This cat is king of the coyotes.
Yeah. They're like, oh, the boss is here. Oh, no. Oh, no. like to think the coyotes respect this cat i like this this cat is king of the coyotes yeah they're
like oh the boss oh no oh no uh there's also a skunk that roams the neighborhood and i was on a
walk and i was like the skunk and it they move so fast yeah it's wild they are huge yeah and then i
watched it go into my backyard and i was like well i can't do anything you're just gonna be in my backyard
and then sometimes i'll see it move across the window in the back and then i'll turn on the
light and i'll stop and i'll stare at me because he knows i can't do anything i i dare you i dare
you to come outside i'll make everything stink i'll stink you up oh has clyde ever got skunked
you up oh has Clyde ever got skunked thank god no yeah oh the awful Charlie got skunked oh John Milhiser my former roommate John Milhiser yeah the former um I can't remember what Charlie oh
Charlie ran after a skunk got skunked and then we had to put him in the garage because he was stinky
and then I think John gave him a tomato bath or something.
Yeah, it was bad.
I also feel like I saw that tomato baths don't work.
Or like that's like a myth or something.
Oh.
But maybe it worked if he did it.
I think it worked.
And then we bathed him in something else.
I can't remember what we did.
But we did leave him in the garage for a little bit
because he was really stinky. He was so stinky. And I was like, he can't come in the house for a little bit because he was really stinky he was so stinky
and i was like he can't come in the house yeah but someone stayed with him it wasn't like we
put him in the garage and like shut the door i'm like see ya we'll worry about this tomorrow
oh lord it's wild in these streets it's wild also houses be fallen houses be fallen. Houses be fallen. Yeah. It really makes you think.
About?
The way houses are fucking built.
Like, I have broached this topic before.
I don't think on the podcast, but I'm like, sticks fall in dirt.
How you put in the foundation of a house in dirt, it's going to move.
And the earth be moving and showing us the houses
be moving yeah houses are falling off their foundation yeah that's crazy well we build
houses pretty poorly here they're like sounds like it it's just like really thin walls and
sticks and stuff and like i mean the fact that i at one point i had mice going in between my walls
in my home which is like why is there even space for them why isn't there just like concrete or
like like why is there a gap large enough for rodents to even crawl through insulation yeah but
like they were going through some empty spaces too they had too much ease yes uh you are
correct um on a hundred day home uh which is a show on hgtv okay uh i wonder what hgtv stands for
home garden television okay so i'm glad we figured that one out. So Mika and Brian will build you a home in 100 days in Florida.
OK.
And they always they seem to build the frame with like cinder blocks, which is something I've never seen.
Yeah.
Usually it's sticks.
Yeah.
And more sticks.
Yeah.
And then walls.
Yeah.
But they do it differently.
And I was like, well, why don't we build all houses with cinder blocks?
But I guess if a cinder block house slid down a hill, you gonna kill people.
But isn't there less of a chance of it doing that?
Because it's heavier?
Yeah.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Houses are crazy.
They're crazy.
Whenever I'm driving like on the 101 and you see those houses all the way up, I'm like,
is there a day where I'm stuck in traffic and there's a house sliding towards me?
What do you do?
Get out of the car?
Dodge the house?
But I don't think it's like the house is just on top of the foundation.
I think it's like...
Sashir, what do you do when a house looking like a gingerbread house is sliding towards you?
I guess I'm the wicked witch.
I guess I just get slammed and someone steals my shoes.
Oh, my God.
Could you imagine if I die and someone steals my shoes?
I'm going to be livid.
That would suck.
That's so rude.
Yeah.
Keep my...
I'm already dead.
Yeah, keep my dogs covered.
Keep my dogs...
I don't need my dogs out.
No.
Don't let the dogs out.
Dorothy.
Dorothy.
Oh, did you see that someone stole or i guess maybe it happened a while ago stole the ruby slippers from like the academy museum how there's not cameras everywhere i think it was decades ago
i really didn't read the article i read like the highlights but i think it was decades ago. I really didn't read the article. I read like the highlights, but I think it was like,
yeah,
someone stole the shoes on a dare.
Terry Martin
was spared in prison
and sentenced instead
to one year
of supervised release
for stealing the slippers
from Julie Garland,
from the Judy Garland Museum
in Minnesota in 2005.
Oh my God.
Wait,
Minnesota has the museums
because can't,
isn't Paisley Park in there?
I don't know. In Minnesota? I don't know.
St. Minnesota?
St. Minnesota?
St. Minnesota?
Yeah, Paisley Park is in Minnesota.
So you go to the Judy Garland Museum in Minnesota,
Paisley Park, you can see.
What's happened there?
I almost just said the two J's, but prince doesn't start with a j no
yeah the fucking idiot over here jesus christ i don't know why i almost said the two j's no
there's two p's in paisley Park. Yeah. Three of Cap Prince.
Cap Prince.
And then Judy Garland.
That's my piece.
That's JG.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Well, all right.
But they're there.
They are.
They are both there.
They are iconic.
Sometimes I wish I could sing like Judy Garland.
Oh.
Yeah.
Great voice. Beautiful voice. Or Liza Judy Garland. Oh. Yeah. Great voice.
Beautiful voice.
Or Liza Minnelli.
I went into a little hole and was watching just clips from Cabaret.
Yeah.
So good.
Yeah.
So, so good.
So, so good.
Is there a favorite song that you like to sing?
Hmm.
I mean, if we're doing karaoke,
I usually pick Valerie by Amy Winehouse.
Okay.
Who I think covered it from someone else,
but I don't know. Oh.
Yeah.
It's interesting how many covers there are out there.
Isn't it?
Fast Car was covered.
Tracy Chapman's monster hit, Fast Car,
was covered by a man.
Is it Luke Combs?
I think it's Luke Combs. Yeah,bs yeah the country singer yeah and they had a really
great performance at the grammys it was nice to see her like it was also nice again she oh my god
she looks great the booty's fat she looks oh my god the hair is right and i it felt like she wasn't
wearing any makeup but even like if she it it looked she looked great great um and you
could just see how much he revered her and how excited he was to perform with her i love seeing
shit like that yeah there you pointed out there's this moment where he was just looking at her from
from the side when she was singing about him and he's still mouthing the words like
like truly in love with her and which like yeah if you're singing with someone you looked up to.
Yeah.
It's gotta be cool.
My favorite thing to come out of the Grammy is,
well,
one I learned,
I love an award show,
not watching it live,
but I,
after the fact,
if I can skip through things,
oh boy,
I'm having a great time.
Yeah.
My favorite thing to come out of it was Meryl Streep grabbing on to Beyonce for dear fucking life.
So funny. with a cocktail in
her hand and then oh boy everybody on Twitter was it's just so funny it's like America does
have a problem or I take the plastic off my sofa too yeah um uh also why was Meryl Streep there I
have no idea it was really funny glad she was there I guess it was great but I guess she was
doing that record of the year or something.
Yep.
They were like, would you like to present the last award of the night?
Which, why?
It's so funny.
And Beyonce is leaning back.
Holding her back, too.
Yes.
Also, I wonder if Beyonce, every time leaves the house, gets home and goes, we can't do that again.
I don't want to see people anymore it must be exhausting it must be yeah people just keep coming yeah to her table
yeah yeah it's like honestly it's like the beyonce meet and greet when she goes anyway yeah
i saw her um at the snl 40th anniversary. Like, there's a room full of people, including Prince,
and people were like,
Beyonce's here?
And then there was like a line of people,
of celebrities,
waiting to take a picture with her.
I mean,
she really is the like,
like,
who's bigger than me?
Well,
I guess Taylor Swift's up there with her.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
I don't know if I would say
either is bigger.
They both have huge fan bases.
Yes.
And I love the fashion at the Grammys.
Well, let's move on from the Grammys, because it happened a month ago at this point.
By the time this comes out.
Is it not Black History Month anymore?
No.
This comes out of March.
Of March.
Well.
That's it.
Black History Month is done. That's it there was no there's black history month is done
that's it that's a wrap did you have a good black history month i feel like i had a good
black history month um i was black i don't think now you're now you're not and that's in the past
and that's it that's a wrap well now we. And that's history. That's a wrap.
Well, now we're in Women's History Month.
Yes.
So still our month.
It's still our month.
We should have a Black Women's History Month.
Ooh, I like that.
And that, okay, that's in April.
Okay, great.
So we'll have three months in a row.
Wow.
Look at us.
The other night, I was really having trouble.
I was like, August, September, October.
And then I was like, wait, October comes right after September?
I was like having trouble with the months.
Isn't that silly?
Just that you can't believe that October comes after September?
Yeah, I was like, wow.
Fall hits hard.
It comes at you fast.
Summer's done.
Fall, fall, fall.
I guess so, yeah.
And how will you celebrate this women's history month this year?
You know, probably like
being a woman
and supporting
women. I think I'm going to start
whispering to people.
Okay. And then do you gonna start whispering to people. Okay.
And then, what,
do you expect a response? Nope.
No, I'll be at Starbucks getting my coffee
and they'll be like, here you go. And I go, thank you.
And they'll be like,
did they,
is this a trick?
It's like, uh, what's
going on? I think it's history.
It's history.
Learn about it.
Learn about us.
What is April officially?
Is that a month?
What are the rest of the months?
It is definitely a month.
April is Black Women's History Month.
What? That's crazy since when yeah
when did that happen and how come nobody told anybody why haven't we not been doing things
about this this is crazy oh oh oh got to write essays and shit?
Oh, this is from a university.
Oh, okay.
Can you look up what the other months of the year are?
If every month has a thing?
I thought you were just asking what are the other months of the year?
What are the other months?
I'm just curious.
May, June, July.
List of month-long observances.
Oh, January.
It could be dry January.
Veganuary.
National Mentoring Month.
Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month.
Start it strong.
Start that year strong.
That should be all year.
It should be, yeah.
So February is American Heart Month.
Black History Month. LGBT History Month. Oh, that's in the United Kingdom. Oh, okay. year it should be yeah so february is american heart month black history month lgbt history
month oh that's in the united kingdom oh okay national bird feeding month yes i want to celebrate
national bird feeding month um what is that march is the brain tumor awareness month in the uk
irish american heritage month mustache month oh sorry mustache march or you
maybe grow a mustache or ride a mustache national colon cancer awareness month women's history month
youth art youth art month they don't need a month april is arab american heritage month
autism awareness month cancer control month get it under control confederate history is Arab American Heritage Month. Autism Awareness Month. Cancer Control Month.
Get it under control. Confederate
History Month. Whoa!
Why?
Oh, you know.
Daylit History Month.
Financial Literacy Month.
April has too much going on. There's a lot going on.
Jazz, math, child abuse
prevention, pet,
poetry writing, volunteer, library month, second chance month.
Second chance of what?
I guess if you break up with someone, April is the month to get back with them.
Oh, I was thinking like if the first part of the year was bad for you, you're like, I'm starting the year over today.
This is my January. My January.
Sexual assault awareness month. When is my January. My January. Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
When it rains, it pours.
Right?
Isn't April a rainy month?
Yeah.
May.
It's got to be May.
ALS Awareness Month.
Asian Pacific Islander Heritage Month.
Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month.
I mean, okay. So we just know it's going
so oh brain tumor awareness month excluding the united kingdom this is there's this is wild can
you national bike month there's just so much wait there's another pet month i thought we just had
pet month i thought we had pet month too. National smile month. Zombie awareness month.
Why is there so much happening in May?
A lot's happening in May.
Maybe because it's sunny.
The weather's good.
Yeah, people can have festivals and whatnot.
Yeah.
Foster care month.
June is African American music appreciation month.
Okay.
Caribbean American heritage month.
Pride month. LGBT. Yeah. Pride
Month. Okay. July. Nothing's really happening in July. National Ice Cream Month. Disability Pride
Month. South Asian Heritage Month. August is Language Month. South Asian Heritage Month again,
but in the United Kingdom. Wow wow that's my birthday month nothing's
happening so we should just call it nicole month this is true it's up for grabs not a lot's
happening yeah um gospel music yoga month in september bourbon heritage month honey month
suicide prevention awareness month is in september i guess they're like, all right, it was a tough nine months.
We'll get in there and tell you.
Don't do it.
It's getting darker.
Yeah.
October.
Oh!
Black History Month is in October in the United Kingdom, Ireland, and the Netherlands.
Okay, okay.
Interesting.
November has Black Catholic History Month.
October is Pizza Month?
Wow.
Okay.
November, No Nut November.
Wow.
Destroy Dick December?
Click on it.
Oh, so Destroy Dick December is also no nut november and that's when you you don't masturbate and it's an internet challenge of sexual abstinence okay and i guess destroyed
december is the counterpoint so now you can fuck like crazy. Oh, I see. I see. Interesting.
All right.
I think I'll celebrate Destroy Dick December.
Yeah, that sounds good.
DDD.
I have a question.
Is this No Nut November only for those who have dicks?
Yeah.
Interesting.
I think anyone who nuts can participate in No Nut November,
and that includes people without penises.
Okay.
Everyone who nuts.
Yeah.
I be nuttin' hard.
Ew.
Ew.
Ew.
I be nuttin'.
Oh, I'd be not in. Oh, boy.
Let's answer some questions.
Let's do that.
Let's do that. Let's do that.
That's fun.
Hi.
I hope you're all doing well.
Love your podcast.
It gets me through a lot of bad times and good times.
Anyway, I have a friendship question because I've kind of ended a friendship with someone that I considered a very close, dear friend for at least the last eight years.
She's always the one that I ask to take care of my dog, and that's a bit of where the situation comes.
This woman's obsessed with dogs, and I love that about her.
It's adorable.
I have a dog myself, as I mentioned.
that about her. It's adorable. I have a dog myself, as I mentioned, and we had a little bit of pet sitter drama because she had to cancel last minute due to some health issues. And fair enough.
But then a couple months later, it came to light that she's been talking mad shit about how I take
care of this dog. And I just want to tell you guys that this dog is
not wanting for anything. She gets so much love and attention and
like hour-long walks three times a day from
me or my husband. But this friend just has no
problem talking to friends, my neighbors,
people she's only met like one time, about how horrible
she thinks I treat this dog, or my husband and I treat this dog, because we live in a city,
she's a border collie, that sort of thing. And she's entitled to her opinion. What bugs me is
that she's talking a lot of gossip about me behind my back.
And this is somebody who knows a lot of my deepest, darkest secrets.
So it kind of makes me wonder, what else is she saying about me?
And I know she talks about a lot of other people as well.
And it just really, it hurt my, I'm not even going to say my feelings, it hurt my heart.
And right now I've kind of cut off contact because I'm the kind of person where when I'm upset,
like angry, I can't talk to you, otherwise I will explode. So I'm keeping my distance,
but I don't know how to approach the situation further, or if I should even continue the
friendship, because at this point I don't know if I should even continue this friendship because at this point
I don't know if I can trust her
with anything.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you guys.
I hope you all have a great day.
Hmm.
I
if this is a friendship you want to keep i do think the answer is saying something and
i think giving space so you don't blow up is smart um and then when you feel like you're
you can actually like approach this person again and have like a conversation that hopefully won't explode
then do that and maybe you can come off as a like just like be honest and like this makes me sad
this hurt my feelings um i was talking to suzy down the street and she said you said but you
said i don't take care of my dog really well. And that sucks because I think I actually take care of my dog really well.
And if you had any thoughts, you could just say them to me as opposed to my whole neighborhood who knows me and I live here and also our friends.
Yeah.
And I, you know, this friend did do bad.
So it's not like you have to tiptoe around anything.
You just be like, hey, I know you did this. It made me feel do bad. So it's not like you have to tiptoe around anything. You just be like, hey, I know you did this.
It made me feel really bad.
And I would like to be friends,
but it's kind of hard for me
because I don't want you to keep doing this to me.
Yeah, I think that that's tough for me.
I would probably talk about it in therapy at nauseum until it didn't bother me anymore and then talk to them when I would love that like just tell me like is there something
that I can improve upon or whatever and then honestly if you decide to continue a friendship
with this person I wouldn't tell them any more secrets yeah uh because there's people in my life
who you can't tell a secret to um and I just know that about them like they're a good person I like
them it's fun to hang out with them.
But it's like, I'm not telling you anything unless I'm okay with everybody knowing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That sucks.
Yeah.
I also wonder what this person's standard is for taking care of a dog.
Yeah.
Three hour long walks.
Well, I guess I meant the friend who's gossiping.
But also, that was wild.
I was surprised to hear that. But I guess a border collie does
need activity.
Clyde does not
get three hour
long walks. Yeah.
Unless we go to the dog park and we're there for like an hour
and he's running around. Maybe the
owners like to run.
Or exercise people.
Maybe. I can't fathom running with Clyde.
It would be so hard.
Yeah.
And also he would give up.
He's not.
He's just as.
What are we doing?
Athletic as me.
He's like, whoa, what?
No.
Solved.
Solved.
Hi, Nicole and Sashir.
I have a sticky friend situation. I have two close friends,
one I've known for 20 years since grade school. We'll call her Judy and the other since high
school. We'll call her Cindy. Judy and I have been best friends forever. Cindy was in a different
friend group with me. Judy and Cindy were friends in high school, but never kept in touch the way
I did with both of them. Me and Judy were roommates and I would have Cindy come over and we all started getting close and hanging out.
But a year after we became a group of three that hangs out a lot, they tell me that they've started dating.
Oh, I'm happy for them.
But it's hard for me because now I feel like I'm the odd man out.
I'm uncomfortable hanging out with them and I think I'm still trying to get used to it.
Part of me thinks that I'm no longer needed in the friendship because I brought them together
to hang out more and now they have each other and don't need me.
I know I shouldn't think that way, but that's what's going through my mind.
I really don't want to lose either of them because we've been friends for so long.
Any help is appreciated.
Hmm.
I think since they continue to hang out with you, I think they still want to be your friend. Yeah, I think dating just because they're dating, I don't think that changes how they feel about you as a friend.
It's still two people friends with one person.
two people friends with one person um but also it might be super vulnerable but you can always say hey i do feel a little insecure now that you two are dating that maybe i am the third wheel and you
don't want to hang out with me anymore yeah um but if you guys are still hanging out like i think
you're i think you've made up something in your brain yeah because they wouldn't hang out with
you if they didn't want to yeah and they probably do want to keep a friendship going because they get to see each other when you're not there.
So it's like if you don't show up, then it's just the two of them all the time.
And I'm sure they have other friends, too.
But like it's a nice different dynamic when it's like we're hanging out as friends like we have always been.
They just have a separate thing happening on their own.
But that's not excluding you.
That's just,
I mean,
I guess it is excluding you
because they are
in a romantic relationship,
but it's not like.
Yes,
but I think you got to think
of it as like
your friend has a,
like a life without you.
And it just happens
to be another friend
is that life without you.
But then you just think about it separately where it's like, oh, they have their life and they have their life life without you but then you just think about it
separately where it's like oh they have their life and they have their life and then you just don't
think about it being the same other life i don't fucking know i mean honestly what a gift that
your friend is dating a friend and your other friend is dating a friend like you already know
everyone everyone's already vetted it's not like oh my best friend's dating a person and your other friend is dating a friend. Like you already know everyone. Everyone's already vetted.
It's not like, oh, my best friend's dating a person.
And now I have to get to know this person or like this person even like me or like none
of that stuff has happened because you have known these people for most of your life.
So it's like how lucky that you like get to keep them in your life.
And you brought them together.
So they're never getting rid of you.
You're going to be like the officiator of their wedding or the best person. Yeah. Yeah. You are the best. You are the best person. And honestly,
a fun thing you could do when you guys hang out is go. I did this. Don't forget. Don't forget.
Yeah. Every time you leave, just be like, don't forget, I brought you together. This is because of me.
Would never have happened if it wasn't for me.
So, when shall we hang out next?
Threaten them.
That's my advice.
Threaten them.
Yeah.
Solved.
Solved.
Hi, Nicole and Sashir.
I am calling because I feel, well, because I want to ask you guys, how do you approach people in the wild?
Like, very literally, when you walk up to someone that you would like to talk to or, like, say you guys were just recently on your trip.
Say you're sitting at the bar and there are people next to you and you just want to strike a conversation.
How do you start that conversation?
I am 25 years old and I feel like so much of my life has been on the phone, like on my cell phone.
And I don't know how to just talk to people in real life, which is really sad and embarrassing.
But I'm not super embarrassed because I feel like everyone my age is like that.
I'm trying to make friends.
I follow the advice of, like, doing hobbies I like, trying to, like, talk to people at
work or whatever.
Like, I try the things.
I go to class.
I go to the gym.
And I still just don't talk to people because I feel awkward and shy and like everyone is on
their phone and even if I put my phone in my pocket I don't talk to people okay anyway I'm
rambling just very literally how do I talk to people without being like weird or creepy and
like to make them actually want to say things back okay thank you guys much love goodbye
in a bar you can always just go what drink do you have like that's a i think a very easy way
into a conversation yeah and then just like have in your pocket like what your favorite drink is to like continue it.
Yeah, that's my bar.
That's my bar one.
Also, that works in restaurants.
You go, what is that?
Yeah.
I like looking at people's clothes in general. so it is a very easy way to be like
where'd you get those shoes or like where you know i like this this thing that you have and then
they probably do too because they're wearing it yes so they're like oh my god i got it from blah
blah blah unless you're like my mom made me wear this today which honestly still opens up a
conversation yeah what's going on with your mom oh what kind of relationship do you have with your mom
does she often make you wear things did your mother make you wear things uh
probably my mom made me wear this nasty gray sweatsuit that i would wear now that has like
uh had primary color patches on it yeah and it
just like wasn't in style anymore and she made me wear it and I cried and I was like why are you
and I was so mad the whole day yeah I mean I guess my mom bought my clothes I'm trying to think if
she I don't remember a conversation where I had to wear something. I was just like, these are the options I have because these are what she chose.
So I guess she made me wear those clothes.
But I'm hard up on a moment where she was like, you can't leave the house unless you wear this thing.
But yeah, pointing out an article of clothing is great.
Or just being like, oh, do you know of any other bars in the area or is there a good place to get food around here?
I think asking questions is a good way.
Yeah.
Into a conversation.
Yeah.
You can start with a compliment.
But yeah, the more you keep asking questions, people do like to be asked questions.
They really do.
Unless they're like, oh, my God, who are you?
What do you want me to do?
Why are you asking?
What is this, an interrogation?
A scam?
What is this?
But usually,
they do like being asked questions.
And if they are by themselves,
they probably are also looking
to talk to somebody
at a bar or out and about.
So yeah, you'd be surprised
if you just keep proddingding something will come up yeah also
bringing a friend is a good is a good uh strategy because it's like i say something maybe you say
something to add to the conversation now we're having a nice time yeah i'd also say maybe to get
practice you can try talking to people you are not necessarily even interested in. You can also just
talk to people. And the more people
you talk to, the more comfortable you will be.
And then when you see someone that you actually are
like, ooh, I got the hots
for that person. I want to talk to them.
You will be more comfortable.
Yeah. Also
servers. I talk to servers too much.
But they love it.
Sometimes they do.
Sometimes they don't.
And then when they don't, I play a game of, can I win you over?
Can I make you love me?
We had a server recently who was great, who showed us a game.
Yeah, that was really fun.
What's it called again?
Poopy.
Poop.
Zoomies.
Wait, I have a picture of it.
It was a child's game.
It was a child's game.
A conversation game. And he was like yeah um because someone at the restaurant was selling or like made a card game and he's like
i bought it and it's the great and we pulled it out rainbow puppy poopy party yeah and yeah we
pulled it out what was your it was it's a prompt he's a prompt mine said
it's nice to be nice give someone a compliment so i like gave him a compliment and then mine was
run around the room once so i ran around the restaurant and that got people talking yes
so yeah if you want to run around a restaurant real conversation conversation starter. Oh boy. That was fun. Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It was very fun.
Yeah.
I do want to play that game again.
Me too.
Yeah.
All right.
Solved.
Solved.
I think that's good.
You can also bring,
I think I've said this before,
bring Uno to the bar and see if someone
will play with you.
You have said that before
and I just don't,
I don't,
it's like a,
that's a commitment
because they're like,
all right,
I'm committing to playing a game of Uno.
And then you become the Uno lady.
If you want to become the Uno lady, you could email Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com
or a Candyland friend and you could call 424-645-7003.
Have you ever played Candyland?
Yeah, I used to have it.
Me too.
Yeah.
What happened?
Why did Candyland's popularity decline?
I think they still sell it.
Do you think board games just in general are having a decline?
No, their board games still exist.
You just are not buying them.
I don't think they're having a decline.
You just aren't around them.
Do you think the death of a board game
is because... No, no. They're still being sold.
Nobody has them.
If you
want to wear our merch to a bar and start a
conversation that way, you can go to
podswag.com slash best friends. If you want to
print something out and bring it to a bar,
we have transcripts of our new episodes.
Check them out on our show page at
earwolf.com. If you're just scrolling on your
phone at the bar, you can rate, review, and subscribe.
That's the easiest way to support this show.
See you at the bar, Sashir. See you at the bar, you can rate, review, and subscribe. That's the easiest way to support this show. See you at the bar, Sashir. See you at the bar, Nicole.