Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Learns that She Loves U2!

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Hey Friends! Nicole has already bought tickets to Beyoncé’s Renaissance Movie. Sasheer would love to see Beyoncé at The Sphere in Las Vegas. Nicole learns that U2 has a residency at the Sphere/ Sasheer learns that they both love U2! Nicole watches a movie about a murderous tire. Sasheer learns that Disney is doing a live action version of Bambi. Nicole wonders why so many Disney adults aren’t named after Disney characters. Nicole would name her potential future kid Bambi and Sasheer would name her potential future kid Jiminy. Nicole knows that pop rock singer Ashlee Simpson named her son Bronx Mowgli and she needs her to have a comeback. Sasheer thinks Ashlee Simpson should perform at the Sphere. Nicole wants Fefe Dobson's music to come back to the U.S.  Sasheer and Nicole want a Fefe Dobson and Ashlee Simpson tour. After taking a Halloween themed quiz, Nicole and Sasheer answer friendship questions about keeping up with a new busy mom, catching up with a friend who bails last minute and getting over a friendship break up.   This was recorded on October 4th, 2023. Sources: The Sphere - https://www.thespherevegas.com/shows/the-sphere-experienceU2, “But I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3-5YC_oHjERubber - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1612774/The Trailer - https://youtu.be/hVKgY1ilx0Y?si=8cFYEANVFoYhU3wUFefe Dobson’s “Bye Bye Boyfriend”- https://youtu.be/SWlWgFkQEUY?si=8nc06wYgMWPd2vUI Check out Sasheer’s Comedy Special “First Woman” on 800 Pound Gorilla or for free on YouTube. https://800poundgorillamedia.com/products/sasheer-zamata-the-first-woman Here is the quiz we took: https://www.buzzfeed.com/heathertrudeau/halloween-costume-fall-meals-quiz Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

this year Nicole listen what's going on have you seen the trailer to Beyonce's documentary I have yes I have I'm excited I've already bought us tickets i'm so glad thank you for doing that you're welcome i saw that it was coming out and i was like this woman's taking more money from me and i can't wait to give it to her um i'm so deeply excited yeah yeah we already saw the show live i want to see to see it again. We saw it live. We get to see behind the scenes. Buy another silver outfit to go to the movies. Maybe she'll tell us a different color to wear to the movies. Ooh, I hope.

I hope so, too. Yeah. What a Christmas treat. What a Christmas treat. You know, it's December 1stst it's the beginning of the holiday season you know it's great we have that and Mariah Carey is all I want for Christmas is you December's gonna be great

there was a part of me you seen the Vegas what do they call it ball the sphere the sphere it's like a big old screen yeah and i was like i wonder if they're playing renaissance fair

i didn't look the fuck up if it is we are flying comfort plus to las vegas nevada yeah i was just at las, New Jersey, and that's just not it. No, Nevada. How do we look up what's playing in the sphere? I haven't even tried to look up. Me either. But does the sphere show movies or is it concerts? I think so far it's been concerts.

But I feel like this is a concert film. So I should be shown in a sphere, right? Okay. Just blowing it up. Okay. YouTube is there right now. The sphere experience.

Okay. Remember when Apple music was like, you all need that YouTube uh album on your phone and we're all like no yeah what's going on what kind of pull does you two have where they are the first on everything we're like there will be the first on your apple music will be the first in the sphere i mean they're a great band obviously but like you know i don't know what but okay judah it starts on just uh december 1st so we have to we have to go to december um yeah i don't know i do i know I'm sure. But. Like, what is a U2 song? Is it?

Okay. Is this one with or without you? You know, the with or without you one? No. Okay. Yes. You go to share. Is this one?

It's a beautiful day. Day. That I did it. Did it. Yes. Yes. Okay. I know that. Okay. Okay. So in november they just have tickets that you can buy but it doesn't say what it's for whoa how funny let's buy a ticket to 4 30 12 p.m for what for what

what's happening how funny the sphere maybe beyonce will listen to this podcast and be like listen we have to go into the sphere oh it's at the venetian i thought the sphere was like its own thing i also thought it was its own thing i don't think we're gonna be able to figure it out i think we're too far away from the date but it got to november no yeah but then in November it was like, sorry about it. You could buy a ticket for times, not events. We don't know what we're going to have yet. Oh, U2's the whole time? U2 is there until December. I mean, okay.

I guess. I mean. This is a lot of shows. That's a lot of shows. Aren't they old and stuff? I have no idea who's in U2. Bono. And the guy with the hat.

The Edge? Is that? There's someone in it named The Edge? Is that right? Yes, it's The Edge. He's the keyboardist. Why do I know that? Wow.

So Bono, Larry, The Edge, Adam, Ivan, and Dick? Yep. Wild. That's you too. Wow. Who would have... And like people love them like this? I guess people love them.

Yeah. I think my knowledge of them is like you know peripherally they might be played in like the grocery store or something the dentist's office so wild i feel like every every day i'm learning about something that everybody loves that i'm like, what? Yeah. Everyone loves them enough for them to be in the sphere. For months? For like the rest of the year.

Wait, I still haven't found what I'm looking for? Is that that Cher song? I still haven't found what I'm looking for. That's not the melody of that. But is Cher's song a cover? I don't know. Let's play it. I think I only know that beautiful day one. I think so, too.

It's a beautiful day. Day. Look at us. We love you, too. We got to get this get this sphere yeah it turns out i love them oh this was in um runaway bride the opening of the movie oh oh yes i do know this what's that chorus hit like? Yeah, you can fast forward to it. I don't think I knew this was you, too.

Wait, this is a Cher song. Wait, so did Cher do it first, or did you two do it first? Wait, we gotta hear the chorus. For people who don't know it. Still gotta hear the chorus for people who don't know it wait which came first the Cher or the U2 this is just like when I thought that the Beatles were stealing from Tina Turner but it turned out Tina Turner had just done a cover of a Beatles song. That happened to me too. Also with the Beatles where I thought in Vogue did Yesterday.

And that is absolutely the Beatles. I believe Cher did the cover of it because on here it's saying, I still haven't found what I'm looking for, was released in 87 on U2's Joshua Tree album. Wow. U2's been around that long? They've been a band since 76. What?

Whoa. Yeah, yeah. Because they're an old Irish band. Whoa. Wild. Absolutely unhinged. Who knew? Who knew can't believe it i can't believe one of my one of my good share songs that i love is a you too song i guess we love them i guess i love you too wow who knew you too oh my god i saw a license plate the other day that said love you too and i wonder if they were talking about the band you two oh my god i saw a license plate the other day that said love you too

and i wonder if they were talking about the band you too oh my god how funny they love you too that much well then that makes their license why they have a sphere show for so long people i guess so maybe we should go i think we should maybe it's a good show Maybe we should go. I think we should go. Maybe it's a good show. It's a beautiful day. Day.

And we just sing that over every other song. We're like, that's the one we know. They're like, please stop doing that. We're listening to the other songs. It's a beautiful day. We won't stop. So just to wrap up the U2 thing. So U2 has released 15 studio albums.

Whoa. And they're one of the world's best-selling musical artists. And they've sold an estimated 150 to 170 million records worldwide. They have won 22 Grammy Awards, and that's more than any other band. And they might have won more but they um they were in 2005 were inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame for their first year of eligibility which some people like submit and submit and they don't automatically get that but yeah so yeah that's so wild to sell that many records and then i'm like who are you do you know it's like how does that happen because there's too much content there's too many people there's too much too many

things to consume there is a lot of entertainment to consume i guess i would feel the same way if someone was like who's tina turner or not feel the same way i think i'd be like a gas i'd be like what you don't know who tina turner is but there is someone in this world who's Tina Turner? Or not feel the same way, I think I'd be like, aghast. I'd be like, what? You don't know who Tina Turner is? But there is someone in this world who doesn't know who she is, and that's wild. And we should find them and kill them. Kill them! Murder!

Murder! Speaking of murder, I told you last night on the phone that I started watching this movie about a murderous tire, and it's called rubber it is the weirdest movie i've ever seen um i don't know if i could recommend it it is truly like an art house film about a tire that becomes sentient and then murders and it is so strange i can't really describe it other than yeah this is rubber oh this came out in 2011 yeah uh 2010 i believe uh yeah and it's pretty wild you didn't find this

well i was trying to find a spooky yuki for the spooky season and uh it was just on h it was on max yeah and uh i was like let's try this and then i was like this isn't scary but it is strange hmm can't see a little bit of the trailer Oh, I didn't even know that the tire had a name. His name is Robert. Big dreams. There's a cop pulling this tire over, which, like, no, that would never happen. No way. And that's how it kills. This tire just flew through the car.

Tire. A tire. Oh, my God. But why does this tire want to murder? What happened to it? I don't know. They never. I mean, I didn't finish it,

but they don't really answer the question as to why it murders. And it hurt a crow? I don't want answer the question as to why it murders and it hurt a crow i don't want to see this anymore yeah i had to turn it off because too many animals were dying and i said to you last night i'll say it again the older i get the more i'm like we need to spare somebody we need to spare the animals yeah i don't want to see animals get killed or me either It's not nice. I saw a headline that said that. So I guess Disney is doing a live action version of Bambi because they're doing live action versions of everything.

And they are either altering or taking out the scene where Bambi's mom gets shot. So it wouldn't like, I guess traumatize kids, which I guess is good. But isn't that the whole reason Bambi's alone? Like, isn't that the whole reason? Like what starts the journey of the movie? Yeah. Some of the comments were like,

maybe his two moms will get shot to make it woke. And that made me laugh really hard yeah the difference is now there's two moms there's two moms that get shot double double the sadness um i mean i think bambi's mother should get shot because where where is the representation for the kids moms who got shot like that's where they could go to be like wow my mom was shot and so is bambi's mom this that's true it's not like moms don't get shot you like moms get shot all the time and we need to show and honestly where's the representation for it who's talking about it yeah because they could honestly i haven't seen bambi in decades but i feel like you don't actually watch her get shot don't you just like hear a gunshot and like

see her fall or something or i don't know i can't remember but i think so and then bambi's like oh no and then bambi goes and meets thumper. Yeah. And then that becomes Bambi's chosen family. And then I think Bambi, like, grows up. Does Bambi fuck? Does Bambi fall in love? Bambi never gets old enough to fuck, I don't think. Ooh, okay. I mean, in the movie.

I think he's still, like, a little kid. But I think, doesn't he see his dad eventually? I feel like I have a memory of him seeing his dad from like like silhouetted in the shadows but i don't remember if he went to his dad or if he just saw his dad and was like peace i'm good without you dad wait bambi has a dad no or is it a father figure jordan you tell us i don't remember the dad judith you might know the dad but no bambi does get does get bigger because bambi then has like a girlfriend um so he might be fucking like oh yes there was a teenage bambi yeah yeah i thought he was little the whole time yes he

does grow up a little bit i forget the ending ending. Yeah, I also forgot the ending. Also, Bambi was huge, I feel like, when we were kids. Why haven't I met a man named Bambi? Hmm. Huh.

I mean, I guess I... I don't know if Disney movies have spawned many names because I don't think i've ever met a simba or or i've met ariel but like those i think already existed like i think like ariel was already a common name you're maybe not um i haven't met any beasts but for as many disney adults that exists there should be a plethora of disney named people that's a good point

which disney name would you name your kid obviously bambi really yeah bambi is a great name come on bambi let's go baby kind of also sounds like a stripper name that's why i love it boy or girl i'm naming him bambi bambi bambi deuteronomy maybe i would do jiminy maybe i would do jiminy sashir you have to have a kid sashir and jiminy jiminy i like how many syllables there are it's like one too many yeah jiminy jim uh imagine adult named daisy. That's funny. That is funny.

Minnie. I feel like there's minis in the world. Mulan is a great name. Oh my God. Olaf. Mowgli. Never heard of a Mowgli in real life. I have,

you better believe, superstar Ashley Simpson, pieces of me, named her son Bronx Mowgli. How do I know that off the dome because she's a star and nobody let her be a star she is a star and i'm ready for a comeback me too autobiography i i encourage everybody listening to revisit autobiography bangers. It is a great album and her raspy voice. Maybe it was auto tune. Maybe she had a little bit of help,

but who cares? It's a great album. She showed that she could hold her own and that little SNL set snafu. Maybe she shouldn't have done the hoedown. I think that is what killed it i think that moment everyone questioned her talent and integrity which really sucks because i do think she's talented and her songs are good i agree and i really wish instead of the hoedown she had stood there and waited for the music to turn off and said yeah i sing to a backing track a lot of things

like i sing to a backing track live and the wrong one played and let's do it. Let's hit the right one. Let's get one the right one. Yeah. You know, that's someone who should be in the sphere. Put Ashley Simpson in the sphere. Shira. I would buy a ticket in a heartbeat.

I would pay the same price I paid to see Beyonce to see Ashley Simpson in the sphere. I would pay the same price I paid to see Beyonce to see Ashley Simpson in the sphere. Yes. Oh my God. On a Monday I am waiting and by Tuesday

I am fading and by Wednesday I can't sleep with you I fall, I fall so fast I can't remember what I did yesterday but I can remember Ashley Simpson's album autobiography, Pieces of Me

my god I love her yeah, she's definitely due for a comeback I think she performed with Demi Lovato earlier this year and like there was some hubbub about that but then I don't think anything else happened

after that well i hope she's an avid listener to this podcast and i hope that she hears us say she needs to have a comeback and honestly bring fifi dobson out of retirement take me away i would like to hear her yes we need a pop punk i mean there is a pop punk resurgence already but also we just need one specifically i need it to be bigger yeah we need comebacks yes i like i'm happy that like fun pop has made a comeback and people are like yes but like give me pop punk give me the emo hair. Give it to me. Oh, my God. Should we do a placing?

Yeah. I can't stop thinking about Fifi Dobson, though. I feel like she didn't have, she, like, really was a flash in the pan. Is that what the expression is? Like, she really, like, came out of nowhere, took over, and then went away so quickly. Yeah. I think she was a one-hit wonder i think she only had take me away fifi dobson uh she still lives in canada that's where she's from she has a ton of shows in canada right now oh yeah she has she's performing the october 16th to the 27th like ontario winnipeg ottawa oh so fifi dobson left us but never left her homeland of canada yes yeah is she making music for canada

yeah she's still making music oh and we don't get it over here i mean you why don't we get it over here? I just don't think they're promoting her heavily in the U.S. But why don't we get it here? Isn't that across the border? It's just a little border. It's just a line. Why won't they let us have it? Please let us.

Does it wash away in Niagara Falls? Oh, my God. Fifi. I guess this is what I'm going to do later. Listen to Fifi Thompson. Bye Bye Boyfriend, Ghost. I don't know any of these songs. I can't wait to listen.

You don't know Bye Bye Boyfriend? Bye bye boyfriend. No, no. Judith, can you please play Bye Bye Boyfriend? Cause it is epic. It is an epic song. This is so moody. I'm into it. It's so moody.

We have to wait till the chorus. Wow. Great skin. Yeah, truly. Wow. I'm sad that more of her songs didn't make it over the border. Yeah, I like this. Me too. Yes! Phoebe Dobson! Oh my god! Oh my god. She's so

cool! She's so cool she's so cool okay the more i think about this the more i need her and ashley simpson to truly go on tour together that would be amazing wow um i'm in what a dream how do we let them know how do we let them know? How do we let them know? Guys. Yeah, who do we write a letter to? Should I call up Joe Biden and Justin Timberdough? No. Timberlake? Justin. Who's there? Trudeau.

Yes. You said Timberlake. Well, you said Timberdough or something. I was like. okay which do you want to do our halloween quiz spend the day eating fall comfort foods to find out what you should be this halloween oh yeah let's do it. Let's do that one. I was invited to a Halloween party by six people. I don't know. And I still haven't gotten to the bottom of it. Ooh, spooky. The mystery of the E-vite. Spend the day eating fall comfort foods to find out what you should be for Halloween. Don't waste any more time find out what you should be for halloween don't waste

any more time stressing about what you should be for halloween we're here to help i'm excited to see what fall foods are oh yeah pick your breakfast pumpkin muffin that is fall oatmeal 30 pumpkin pancakes. Tasty. Just coffee. You know, normally I would have just coffee, but like, I think tis the season for pumpkin pancakes. Oh, okay. Okay. I have a dream that like I have a partner and like every couple weeks I like wake up early and make them pancakes. Isn't that a silly dream that maybe one day will come true? I think it will come true.

Thank you. I'm going to have a pumpkin muffin. Oh, are you on the go? I'm on the go. I don't have time to sit down for pancakes. You can't sit down. You don't need a knife. I got to take this on the run.

I got leaves to go look at. You do. You're like one of those people in a big family where there's a huge spread on the table. And then the dad's like, got to get to work and just takes a coffee and a muffin. I know, we need to like see the after of that in movies where the mom's just like, I spent hours on this. That is very funny where she's just throwing things away

and she's like, nobody ever eats anything I make. Yes. Next, pick a beverage. Pumpkin spice latte. Coffee, what is itonsored by Big Coffee? Yeah, so much coffee. Apple cider. Mmm.

Mmm. Tea. Apple cider for me, please. Mmm. Again, I normally would say coffee, but tis the season. I'm going to have some sort of yum tea. Tis the season pick a mid-morning snack we're still eating i think the quiz is about eating i know but it's like we've already had breakfast and now we're having a mid-morning snack well okay i think okay so i think in this reality we've woken up at like nine or ten

so in the morning we've had you've had your muffin you've had your chai and then it's like 11 30 ish oh that's still that's pretty close right i guess we woke up at eight we really woke up early we woke up at 6 a.m pound pancakes and now hours have passed and we're still hungry um well we gotta pick a mid-morning oh popcorn ew in the morning yeah in the morning that's sick cinnamon sugar donuts candy in the morning sick or nothing no thanks oh see so sure they're here for you you said it was too early to eat again well if i was up at 6 a.m and i only had a muffin i think i would want some sugar donuts um normally i'd say no thanks but tis the season and you know i'm gonna take a schnecken for the beckon what movie is that from do you know I have no idea

does anyone know a little shnecken for the becken it's from the bird cage and I'm taking a cinnamon sugar donut what's for lunch pumpkin soup

turkey sandwich grilled cheese salad you know what i've never understood about grilled cheese where people have tomato soup and they dip it in the grilled cheese or they dip the grilled cheese in the soup i don't really understand it i love that combination it's tasty you don't think it's like ketchupy hmm no cuz it's tomato II would I know ketchup has tomato in it but I guess also cuz it's a soup and it's warm where ketchup usually isn't it's cold it's cold And I imagine the seasoning in whatever the soup is makes it taste better. Mmm. You know, I don't know if I've ever tasted the combination.

I'll be honest. Okay. Okay. So that's why you don't get it. You wouldn't get it. You don't get it you don't get it i'm gonna have grilled cheese and add some tomato soup to it okay i think that sounds good i guess for you i'm gonna say a turkey sandwich because like turkey is good

turkey's good turkey turkey's good i like turkey turkey's good um pick an afternoon snack. Giant pretzel. Ew, candy corn. Another pumpkin spice latte? I mean, this is actually wild to me. No thanks, which is pretty funny. Yeah, just no, just nothing. No thanks.

I would say a giant pretzel for me. I guess I'm going to say a giant pretzel too because I'm not eating candy corn. And you don't want a pumpkin spice latte? Tis the season. I mean, tis the season. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I've actually never had a pumpkin spice latte. I haven't either. So I guess tis the season let me try it try it

lastly what's for dinner pasta chili pizza macaroni and cheese for dinner that's it what maybe i'll have chili because it's like nice and warm and it's so cold outside and I'm trying to warm myself up from the inside out. I, I think I'm also going to pick chili because it's really like tis the season hearty. And I'll tell you something. I once ordered chili at a restaurant and it was so good. Yeah. That's great. They gave me a piece of cornbread. Oh, I like that. And there's like sour cream and I like mushed it.

I was like, what? What? Ew, good. Okay. This one's the sheer. I'm a witch. Traditional yet fun. You just can't go wrong with this costume.

Okay. I can be a witch. I can see that for you. I'm a pumpkin. Just a bit spooky. You'll certainly match this season. For whatever reason reason this feels like it's trolling me also the picture they have is a with the person who has a pumpkin just on their literal pumpkin on their head and then like black clothes well it's kind of like megan the stallion have you seen her uh yearly halloween picture where she wears a pumpkin that is really funny god i love meg the stallion uh uh oh well there you go

you're a pumpkin i'm a fucking pumpkin i can't fucking believe it this sucks i don't want to just be a pumpkin get real yeah i'm sorry grow up buzzfeed but tis the season you know what tis the season maybe it's good that i'm a pumpkin okay all right all right i'm good being a pumpkin yeah there we go thank you it took a little bit of convincing speaking of meg the stallion we saw dicks the musical apparently all i want to talk about is movies we saw dicks the musical and i need to encourage everyone to go see it wait can i oh yes they said they signed the interim agreement so we can talk about it um our friends josh and aaron wrote one of the funniest movies i've ever seen yeah and megan the stallion's in it and she's fucking great really great yeah like great performance and Stallion's in it and she's fucking great. Really great.

Yeah. Like great performance and then it's a musical so she has her own song and it's like incredible. Yeah. It's incredible. And they only I think they'll say this

they didn't have her for that long and she fucking delivers. Yeah. True professional. Professionnel. Professionnel. Should we help the children are the future? Help them now and let them see the way. Help the children of the future.

Help them now. Help them be who they've always wanted to be. Yes. Great. Mommy McBusy, Nicole and Sashir. First of all, let me say I am a card-carrying member of your fan club i mean seriously if you two started a podcast about the history of chairs delta i'd be all in and probably something

i'd probably learn something too i mean sashir and i have been going on and on about delta changing their medallion status rules and yeah wow we won't get into it now now onto the matter at hand i need your sage advice on a friend situation that I'm unsure of how to solve. I got into this tight-knit foursome, including me, of friends from a previous job. And it was all sunshine and rainbows until our dear friend, let's call her Mommy McBizzy, decided to tie the knot and welcome a tiny human into her life. Don't get me wrong, we're thrilled for her. We've even rehearsed our oohs and ahs for the baby's

inevitable cuteness overload but here's the thing mommy busy has gone full-on hermit crab on us she's wedged herself into her cozy home and it seems like she's thrown away the key our other friend who lives almost two hours away comes to the city at least twice a week for work so we would like to go to dinner on a weekday so that she's able to come as well. Mommy McBusy also drives into the city a few days a week for work. But other than that,

she's planted firmly in her baby bunker. And that's where she wants us too. She's become the queen of come to my house, the queen of the come to my house club. And as women who have chosen thus far to be child-free, we don't want that to be the sole option. Also, I want to mention, we have all driven on previous occasions to visit her with the baby we're all about supporting her but we'd also love it if she'd meet us halfway we tried everything short of hiring a

skywriter to ask her can we please go out for dinner just the four of us pretty please but her response is always same my schedule is too busy don't get me wrong her baby is adorable and we're glad she's settling into motherhood but is it too much to ask for a real conversation if there's a reason behind this i would love to know how we can help her and it's not and let's not even talk about the group chat the tumbleweeds are practically rolling in in there while her snapchat stories are on a constant loop. Look, I've seen friends become working moms before, and I know it's not it's no picnic in the park, but this feels like uncharted territory. So we're turning to you, the dynamic duo of wisdom and humor for some much needed guidance. How do we

keep our friendship afloat if we feel we're the only ones that are concerned with staying above water thanks in advance for your expert advice and keeping the podcasting legends you are okay um i feel like if you haven't already tried it and it seems like our our listener friend has tried everything but instead of being like can you meet this week it's like can you meet four weeks from now can you meet a month from now like yeah so maybe instead of her because also it's like she has a new baby um i think it's like we tend to not think about things from the other person's perspective because this this person has a new baby and you know maybe their snapchat is showing that's all like well and good and fun but maybe they're having postpartum depression and maybe they're like sad and maybe

it's hard for them to leave the house so maybe it's like if you give them ample time to get all their ducks in a row um and maybe that would be something for them to look forward to instead of like a shit uh i have to do this you know this week type deal maybe that would be helpful yeah i feel like the parents who i do see in my life they do need like time to plan because they gotta get a babysitter or ask their partner if they can watch the kid. Navigation has to happen in the household before they can just leave the house and go get dinner, which maybe you already are doing this. But yeah, I agree with what Nicole's saying. Maybe give well-advanced warning.

And maybe you can ask the group. So just also so it's not like targeting this one friend like, hey, like we miss our group hangs. Can we agree on like a monthly hang? Like maybe it could be like the fourth Sunday of every month. We know for sure we're all going to see each other. And if we see each other more than that during the month that's awesome but like maybe that takes a little pressure off of this newly new parent friend to be like okay i know i can schedule that and then that you know maybe that she can include that in the schedule she already has with work baby partner etc and and then see how that goes and then maybe it can increase but also she's a new mom like of course she wants to be home i feel like the parents i actually do hang out with have a couple kids like like they're not hanging out leaving their house on the first with the first kid because they're this is all new to them and they don't know and they're scared what the hell they're doing and they're scared yeah so they're like watching every moment this kid has make sure they're scared. Yeah. So they're like watching every moment this kid has to make sure they're alive and like trying to figure out how to like live their life still.

And then when the second kid comes, they're like, oh, I know I can leave. They'll be fine. Yeah. And if it is like come to my house, maybe there is a happy me jump where it's like, well, come to you, but let's go to Chili's by you. Yeah. but let's go to chili's by you yeah or let's go to a restaurant by you so like we can meet you halfway we will come to you so you don't have to travel that far but we we're not going to be in your house with your baby yeah i've also been to friends places where they're like come at this time so we can have dinner and like we'll be eating dinner

while i'm feeding my baby but then right after i'm putting the baby down and then we can hang out while the baby's sleeping and i feel like that's like a nice moment as opposed to like the baby's just awake and hanging out with all these adults where it's like let's let's hang out close to the time when the baby's being put down and then like let's let's hang out close to the time when the baby's being put down and then like we can still like hang out in the living room and drink wine and talk and stuff like that and then the mom still feels like connected to the kid because the kid's in the next room or something isn't it weird that we put babies down but we put down dogs and they die yeah why do we put babies down?

Sounds like you're just going to kill the kid. Right? But no. I put my baby down and it's like, oh my God, what was wrong with it? She was just a little too sleepy. So I put her down. Oh my God.

I can't believe you put your baby down. Why did you, did you, was it, was she sick? Nope. Sleepy. That is so wild.

A little cranky, so I put her down. So I put her right down. Oh my God, are you doing okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Weird. Yeah. What other things in English mean something drastic? Oh yeah, I hope we helped you.

I didn't mean to say it like that. I genuinely do hope we helped. But yeah. What else in English? Like. I put her down. Anyway. Whatever.

Break a leg. Oh yeah. Break a leg. Which. I don't know if this is true. But I saw a video that said someone was like, you say break a leg so that you hope someone gets cast. Like it's like it's for actors to get cast. Which makes sense to me. I think in that same video, someone was like, Pinterest means pin your interest.

Oh, yeah. And I fell right out of bed. And I was like, confused by that I was never occurred to me oh no great big dummy over here all right let's listen to another question hell yeah hello okay I have a friend who I love. I adore. She is, she's one of my really good friends from Los Angeles, which, and I met her in my 30s, which is always hard to do sometimes. And she's a boss ass bitch, man. Like, she is fucking busy.

Like, she puts on these crazy events and she manages a team of hundreds of people to put on these crazy events. I'm so proud of her. The thing is that she's hella dizzy. She's hella dizzy, which, respect, I get it, but what bothers me is when

we have plans. She fails 90% of the time. Maybe it's me. I really don't think so. I think, like, I'm pretty confident, like, we're good friends. Like, you know, we really value each other. We are very, usually pretty, like, honest, and we have very honest conversations with each other.

And, you know, I know a lot about her life. She knows a lot about my life. You know, but she just is so busy. Sometimes she just doesn't manage. I don't think she's just, like, managing. Like, I think she wants to go out. She wants to hang out. She's very optimistic.

But then when the time comes, paired with, like, how much she works, she's like, I just can't fucking do it, you know? And that's fine. But I'm bothered by it. Like, it really bothers me, you know, and she'll, like, tonight we were supposed to hang out, and she just got done with this, like, huge festival that she put on, and I knew she was going to be exhausted, there's no way she was going to, she was going to be able to do it, but I saved this time for her, and then she bails on me and now it's Friday and I don't have plans and I just it bothers me and I know I need to talk to her about it and

I want to do it in a way where I can come at it in a kind way but also acknowledge how proud of her I am that like she's she's you know she's doing these really great things, and I get it. I get it. But also, like, it's not fair to tell me and have me put my time aside and have me, you know, not do other things or not make other plans or get excited about seeing her when I know it's usually not going to happen because she's just too dizzy and tired. I feel like y'all could relate. Y'all are bossed as bitches as well um and uh yeah i don't know how do i talk to her about it and then i just really like her i don't want to hurt her feelings okay thank you i don't think you need to worry about hurting her feelings or not because this is a relationship that you want to keep fostering and sometimes you have to have hard conversations in relationships especially if you want them to improve otherwise you could just be like peace out I'll never hang out with you again and find

other friends but if you actually want to keep hanging out with this person you do need to have a talk and and it even just like bringing it up doesn't necessarily mean like she's a bad person but you can say like it doesn't make me feel good like it makes me feel like I'm not a priority in your life when you cancel on me especially last minute because because there's no thought there she's not thinking oh my friend like she's not thinking at all she's not like she's I guess she's not thinking like maybe my friend will keep doing the activity without me or maybe she'll find a different friend like she doesn't care or it's coming off as if she doesn't care and it's just bailing and that and now like you said you have a Friday night that's free with no plans so I think yeah you know that you should talk to this person I think you can come at it as like from your perspective of like hey I know you're busy but when you bail on me it makes me feel like you

don't prioritize me or my time and I like hanging out with you I think you like hanging out with me and I just want you to communicate more like if you really don't think you can do these plans I would rather know well in advance as opposed to a day of so I can find someone else to go do these things or figure figure out if I want to do something else entirely um and you can even if it if this is your reality like for me i feel like i would be i would feel like i don't even want to ask this person to do things anymore because i expect them to cancel all the time which you can say too like i would i want to keep hanging out with you is why i keep asking but if you keep bailing it makes me less inclined to do that. And that makes me sad. I know that me personally, I over promise things to people. I say, oh, I'll be back on Tuesday.

Yes, Tuesday night, I can hang out knowing full well, that either I'm going to be exhausted, or bail. And Mano recently texted me and and was like do you want to hang out this day and i was like i get back that day and he was like well do you want to tentatively plan something and you let me know when you land how you're feeling and i was like yes and that might be it is annoying that it's a step that you might have to take with your friend but you did say that she planned a festival and she might be tired from it and then she bailed so did you just set yourself up to be disappointed by making plans with her knowing that she's going to be tired and she's going to bail because that is the behavior that she has exhibited currently and she is fulfilling a prophecy that's in your head already so maybe it's like hey i know

we made plans you just plan this festival do you think you're going to be tired should we move this to three days after you've done that or what's a day that you have literally nothing you've done nothing the day before you have nothing the day after where we know that we're going to hang out and nothing will come in the middle of it. Because I do I do think you understand what's going on. And I know it's not your job to be like, let me work around what this person says that they are capable of doing. But I know for me personally, I tend to promise everybody everything. And it's really hard to deliver that. Yeah. Yeah.

I think all those things can happen. I think you can also be aware of how you're planning things. If this person tells you their schedule and it's busy. And then you could be like, oh, maybe I should have the foresight to know. Maybe they will bail on this date. And I think you should also tell this person how you feel because maybe that'll help them be more conscious as well like everyone can do their job you can think about their schedule she can think about your time and hopefully a compromise can be made

and and people can be more truthful in the future as far as like when they can hang out and when they can't. Mm hmm. Yeah. I'm trying to get better at it personally. Yeah. Do you do you have an idea why you over promise things or over? What did you how'd you phrase it over? Like you like overcommit to me. Yeah. I think it's because one of I'm a people pleaser. Two, I'm gone so much and I do so many things that I'm like, I do want to hang out with my friends.

So it's like, especially if I'm like, I love this person and I want to see them. I tend to say, yes, I can do it all when it's like, can you? Yeah. Yeah. Realistically, you'll be tired. you'll be so sleepy solved solved dear nicole and sashir you two are the best thank you for your podcast listening to you and your amazing friendship brings me so much joy it reminds me of the power of great friendship you're both hilarious, gorgeous, radiant beings. My shit. I lost my closest friendship last year. She and I had been friends since middle school. We lived in the same

neighborhood, went to the same college together. We lived together. We were inseparable. Then the pandemic happened and she went through some major life mental health relationship stuff with her husband. Her husband was my friend too, though not as close as a friend as she and I were, of course. They'd been together for over a decade at this point, so I knew him really well. Basically, as the trouble in their relationship got worse, they took their anger out on me. I'll spare you the details, but there was a lot of manipulation, and it's a way overused term, but I swear it's true here, gaslighting. I guess maybe they took out their own shit on me

because I was their only common close friend. I finally confronted them about it, and my best friend denied it all, said I was being overly emotional, and that I had a codependent relationship with her. Honestly, she was the more dependent one. She blamed me for leaving the city when COVID hit and said she felt like I had abandoned her, even though my partner has severe asthma and was terrified of staying here. And I invited her and her husband to come with us to the countryside. Also, we were only gone for

three months and then came right back to the city. I heard her out. We took space. We tried to talk again. Didn't get anywhere. Took space again. Tried to talk again. Not great. She never got really honest with me and never apologized for her actions. And now the friendship feels very much over. We haven't spoken in almost a year. It's heartbreaking. I know I did all I could to fight for the relationship, but it still hurts. hurts anyway i was wondering if you had any advice for someone who has lots of close friendship i've been doing much better but it feels like the hardest breakup i've ever been through thanks for reading i mean it does suck that it's like it's been a year and it still hurts. But I get that somebody that you were super, super close to and you stopped speaking to.

It's like tons of stuff remind you of that person. I mean, I feel like I'm like the advice is like all the quintessential things. It's like live your life, diva. Go do fun things. Try to make different friends. But I don't know. It's sad. It is sad.

It is a breakup. And I think like any relationship, time will help. I don't know if I'll get rid of it completely. But like, I think eventually you'll be like, oh, I guess I don't think about her that much. Or this person. I had a friendship falling out with somebody and I thought about them a lot and I was very sad whenever I thought about them and things remind me of this person and then I think I also would remember like how good I feel without this person in my life because that person did cause

stress and it was nice to feel like oh I don't have to deal with that anymore or like my how great my other relationships are or how much better they make me feel and and then eventually a time came where it's like oh I hardly think about this person at all and and I don't really know when that transition happened or how long it took but yeah I think it's okay to be sad about it because it is sad but then I think you know everything you described to us doesn't sound healthy or no fun or kind or loving so it's like you can remember those moments too and be like it's sad that I lost this person because I did love them but also they did these things that made it not feel really good to be in the relationship so maybe it's for the best that we're

not that close anymore yeah I yeah I mean I think it's like you miss them, but I think you're right, Sashir. It's like you need to think about how you feel. Do you feel better not speaking to this person? Do you feel less stressed? Do you feel less anxiety? And it's like, and if the answer is yes to any of those things, it's like, this might be for the best. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. It's all solved. If you have things you want to know about, sashirinicole at gmail.com is the email. 424-645-7003. Spend up where you can call or leave a voice memo. And if you have things you want to buy, we have merch at podswag.com slash best friends. If you got stuff you want to buy, we have merch at podswag.com slash best friends.

If you got stuff you want to read, we have stuff to read. Oh, no. We have transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at Earwolf.com. Lastly, if you want ways to support this show, you can rate, review and subscribe. Well, Sashir, that's it for us. From you and yours, see you later. See you later.