Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Would Let a Whale Take Nicole

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

Do you have dreams about houses? This week, Nicole and Sasheer discuss the multiverse, Nicole’s moldy office, how we don’t talk enough about Bernie Mac, sending anonymous notes to your neighbors, early morning etiquette when walking your dog, and what’s the deal with sheep?!? We have another DIY moment with Nicole who is redoing a guest bedroom, and answer a listener question about hang out check-ins are they are really necessary? Plus, Nicole watches the trailer for Before Sunrise!  Here is more info on Shrekapo the sheep! https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2022/04/26/sheep-41-pounds-wool-shrekapo/ Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

🎵 Sashir! Nicole! How are you? Confused, bewildered. Okay, I had a dream. I woke up and I was like, do I have another house? And then I was gonna call you to be like, do I have another house? And then I was going to call you to be like,

do I have another house that I never go to? And it's very, and I, okay. And I guess I don't remember having these dreams, but when I woke up, I was like, oh, I've had this dream before. And that's why I think I have this other house because it's identical to this house. other house because it's identical to this house. The only difference is my garage is like it's twisted on the house and not directly on it. And it's on a busy street. And if you go through my backyard and you keep going, you go through a forest and then there's another secret house. But you have to like walk and walk and walk. And everyone's always like, we're never going to never gonna make it but then we make it and there's a tv and a couch in there and nothing really fun um and and i don't know why i keep having this dream oh and a man broken oh no to the secret house no to the main house oh Oh, no. And then I was like, better get these doors checked and locked.

And that was one dream that I had like a while, a while, a while ago. But I don't have another house, right? Not that I know of. Well, I've read that homes represent you. Um, I've read that homes represent you. So, and then if you have like a secret room or a secret house or something, it's like something that you have not tapped into in yourself. Oh my God.

Yeah. So maybe this secret house, let's see. It's on a busy street. Yes. The driveway faces a very busy street. And then the backyard leads to the woods. Yes. Deep, deep, deep woods.

And then I drove a car through it once. And honestly, looking at my backyard, pretty hard. You drove a car through the backyard? Yes, to get through the woods to the house. Yeah, I don't know. But it seems like there is something that

you is like a part of you that you haven't explored. Oh, my God. I wonder if it's anal sex. You got to go

through the woods. Your backyard is untouched. My backyard is untouched. My backyard is untouched. I wonder, I wonder what it is. It was such a vivid dream. And I had gone, also the bathrooms in this house are really nice.

They're really big. They're like huge. But I always have to wear shower shoes because i'm not sure what's on the floor and um yeah yeah and my bed is catty cornered it's against like two walls and i really hate that okay so there's like some nice features and some features that we don't like yeah and it's the exact same color as my current house and looks almost identical to my current house it's just maybe it's like whatever you need to tap into is not unfamiliar territory it's not like completely unfamiliar to you it's like just like little aspects of it that are

different this is very interesting yeah especially if this is like a multi uh i'm reading just like in doctors yeah it's like oh my god what if i'm tapping into the multiverse and the multiverse is just me and houses one of the same but different house that i have you's funny? You just have a TV. It's funny. And like, if you think about like normal people, multiverses, it's boring. Do you know what I mean?

Like all the superheroes are superheroes in other multiverses. But like, if you're a teacher in the multiverse, maybe you're a high school teacher. Maybe you're a preschool teacher. Maybe you tutor. Maybe you,

maybe you teach people how to ride a motorcycle i'm like that's as exciting as it gets isn't that crazy to think about that is crazy to think about oh my god oh well i feel like um science people had just released something saying that there are multiverses. There are like multiple universes. I believe it, but I don't know if we are doubled. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

I don't know. I didn't read the article, so I have no idea what the actual explanation is. But it says something like, isn't that funny? I saw that topic and was like, interesting. And like kept moving on with my life.

Better go make breakfast. I wasn't like like what the fuck i wasn't like dig deep diving into this topic i was just like oh interesting well better go on with my universe i like that about you i do that too i'll see a very hot topic and go mustn't't read about it. Couldn't possibly don't want to learn today. Oh, can I update you about my house? Is this the current house or the one with the woods in the backyard?

The one, okay, the one in the woods in the backyard, the only issue I have is I can't seem to change the locks and people keep breaking in. But my house that I know is I can't seem to change the locks and people keep breaking in but my house that I know that I live in this house so my office full of guess what mold oh no So I have to, they're taking down like the drywall and stuff. And for whatever reason, there's like no beams on one side of the wall. So they like, it just doesn't make sense.

It's like pure drywall, no support beams. It doesn't, it's like, and it's not waterproof. So we're hoping that if we do all the waterproofing, that'll be fine. And then in the garage the space is really tight so my contractor was like i had to wait for one of my little guys to come and i was like that doesn't sound politically correct but like if you have a little person that goes into little spaces like i guess i guess that is okay. I don't know. I hope it's like Ratatouille. Like really little.

Just so small and not even a human. Oh, my little guy's got up in there. And I'm like, oh, let me meet him. And he's like, doo, doo, doo, in my mouth. That would be very, very funny. But I think it's just a very short man who can get into tiny spaces. And he's waiting for him to be free because a lot of people are having problems with like water and stuff.

And I guess he's a little guy who could get in there. Fix it. Interesting. Uh huh. And then in his multiverse, I wonder if he's still the little guy that gets into different spaces. Like he's a bank robber. I mean, that was a whole role for someone in Ocean's Eleven.

It sure was. Ocean's Eleven, a movie for the ages. Very upset that more people don't talk about it. It was a very fun heist movie. It's so good. Ocean's Twelve was like, you know, not as good, but very good. Bernie Mac in it is so funny. I think I forgot that Bernie Mac was in it.

We don't talk enough about Bernie Mac. I just started rewatching the Bernie Mac show from the beginning. It is so funny. Yeah, I watched it when it was on. It was so funny. Same. Oh, I love him. The hatred and love he has for those kids is so funny

and his milk and cookies bit I mean granted now people might get mad because of the language he uses but it's still very funny he's very funny

milk and cookies. So, Sharon. Hmm? I had no idea. Talking about our vacation on Kimmel. Have we talked about this on the podcast? No, we have not. A lot of people from the Bahamas really dislike me.

Yeah. I'm so sorry about that. It's okay. No. I mean, it doesn't quite bother me because they say, like, people are like, you didn't fall off a jet ski and i was like actually i did so sheer was there three children were there and a man off the beach all saw it

happen so i mean they know it happened and then they're like jet skis don't run out of gas. And I was like, what world are you living on? They do. And then they were like, you were too cheap that you used a hookup. And I was like, you've never used a hookup for anything? Like, you've never wanted to do something just slightly cheaper? Also, we couldn't figure out where to get the jet skis from. Yeah. And it's also like, we get more perks that way. It's like, maybe we get to be on a skis from. Yeah. And it's also like we get more perks that way.

It's like maybe we get to be on a jet ski longer. And also we were not like supervised, which ended up being a problem. We thought that was a good thing at first. We're like, we get to do whatever we want. And then it was like,

oh no, no one's out here to help us. I don't know. I still had a really good time on that jet ski. Even when I ran out of gas, I had so much time to think of like, maybe a whale was going to take me, you know, home with them or whatever. Honestly, if I was gone and a whale took me,

I would hope you would be happy for me. She's living her dream. I'm living with the whale i love the ocean and then none of that okay so all of them have i don't want to generalize but the people from the bahamas who are mad at me have been calling me broke uh peppa the pig slut which is very funny and i changed my twitter name to that cause you told me to. And that's about it. Just like broken fat.

And I was like, only one of them is true. And you're projecting the other one on me. And that's not my life. I mean, yeah, those are the only insults I can come up with. And one of them isn't true. Yeah. And then I'm a liar.

And I'm like, oh, my God, guys, I'm not a liar. And then I was like, should I go on Seth Meyers and apologize to the owners of Atlantis, who's a white man? And the owners of the Comfort Suite, who's a white man? And the owner of Margaritaville, who's a white man? And then I was like i think they'll just get angrier with me and not get that joke either yeah i think because it's not it's the people of the bahamas that are upset not the actual organizations that you yeah but they're mad they're like we go to atlantis too and i was like i saw no i barely saw whatever i i saw it looked like

mostly tourists yeah yes i can't i really don't know if i saw any bahamians frequenting me either atlantis as a patron that's what i felt like but then they they were like, we go and walk around. And I'm like, but why? You have a beautiful beach. Oh, well, maybe I won't bring it up again. Maybe I'll just let it die. I think it'll, you know,

they'll phase out. Something else will happen. People forget it. You would think, but they re-aired that episode of Kimmel two nights ago. Oh, no. I was like I surely can't believe this they're like people are gonna love this we've gotten so many comments about this episode we gotta re-air for the people

let the people see this again they were so happy the first time. Lord. Oh, do you want to see? Oh, no. I guess if I show it to you, people will then be like, I want to see it, too. But I want to show you the wallpaper I'm going to do in my guest bedroom. Mmm. Ooh, that's pretty.

Dark, moody. Moody leaves. Big ass leaves. And there are different colors. Green. Purple. Blue. Orange.

A little bit yellow? Yeah. And then I'm going to paint the walls. This color. Mauve? It is like a light mauve. And I'm going to do lime wash. Do you know what lime wash is?

I really don't. Okay. Lime wash is a natural paint. And you can like see the brush strokes and it like gives it texture. Oh, fun. I like that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I'm very excited because forever I'm like I don't know what to do with this room it's just been like a room for junk a room for storage yeah spice it up oh and then I'm going to do the crown

molding this color is it a burgundy yes queen it's a burgundy it is and if you would like to know what it's called it is pharaoh and pharaoh ball and the color is sample pot no that's not it what is it oh it says it right on there. Preference red. Number 297.

Sample. As I said on the bottom, I was like, that's not it. I fucked that up. That's just the sample. Are you going to be painting anytime soon in your home? I don't have any plans to, but I do want to go home. Full stop. I would like to go home. It's an important time.

I feel like I've been away for so long. Yeah, you've been away for three months. Yeah. Patty Lapone is on the show as well. Yesterday she was like, well, I'm going to be off at the end of the month.

And we were all like, what? How are you off? This is an ensemble show. If you're off, I'm off. Who told you that? And she was like, because she has like dates to do. She's like singing places. So I was like, well, I would love to know that

because I want to go home yeah if she's off and you don't have to work you should ask if you could go home yes 100 i just want to like see my stuff touch my walls lay on my bed i mean you might come home and it might be a different house. You might return to a different multiverse. I mean, actually, kind of. I had a friend staying there and she moved the furniture in my living room and did not put it back the way it was the way she found it when she left. I mean, it's like things that can be easily moved, but just like this chair is over here. And now this chair is over here. And this daybed is over there.

And and then she left. That's rude. It's strange. I think she does have really great housing taste and judgment. So maybe she thought she was doing me a favor. But that's not how I want my stuff laid out. I'm going to stand by I think is really rude.

You don't go to somebody else's house and move their shit around. I try to be a quiet little church mouse when I go to someone's home. And if I move something, I try to remember how it was positioned so I can put it right back

and like if i take a shower in someone's house i'm like okay was there a rug hanging over the tub or was it just in front of the tub i try to remember all of that and truly truly leave no footprint in someone's home but that might be me and that is also me. Then that feels correct. But, you know, some people do it a little differently. Some people live by the... I don't... Some people live by the beat of their drum marching. Oh, no.

Oh, no. That's not it. Some people march to the beat of their own drum. Yeah, but, like, that's not what I was going for. Like, they live a lawless life. I was like, that seems too mean. I don't know. I don't know.

Okay, here's what happened. They live by there. And I was like, Okay, here's what happened. They live by their... And I was like, seat of their own pants? That's wrong. They live by the beat of their... It was all bad. Skin of their own teeth? Maybe that's what I was going for.

They live by the skin of their own teeth. No, that's actually cats. Isn't that cats? No. Oh, shit. I thought of a different thing. How does... By the skin of their teeth.

But then... What's the cat one? Skin of cat. Oh, skin of cat. Skin of cat go to jail. I think I had a book one time of, like, sayings like that and where they came from, like when I was a kid. And like skin of their teeth was, I think, like a circus act or some sort of like sideshow act where people would spin plates on their teeth. Oh, there's more more than one way to skin a cat.

That's what that thing is. And it's it means there are many ways to do something or achieve a goal. The oldest known use of the phrase dates to 1854. Hmm. Okay. I'm not trying to skin a cat. And why would anyone ever for their fur? But I'm like,

what cat fur is keeping you warm? You freak. Cat fur didn't keep you warm. Mm-mm. No. Mm-mm. Sheep. Yes, sheep.

There should be more than one way to skin a sheep. But sheeps, they don't die or anything, right, when you skin them? No. When you take their fur? Mm-mm. Okay, good. Yeah, you're just shaving them. Okay. okay thanks but then i guess they're cold i wonder if the farmers give them blankets that'd be really funny cotton or like wool blankets

what i mean if i was a sheep i would want a blanket that's definitely what i would want yeah or maybe they're putting warm climates maybe they're in a farmland that's really warm all the time you think but i feel like to me sheep all come from ireland you know i actually have never thought about where sheep are. Kimmy, will you look up where sheep are? What a dumb conversation. Where are sheep? Where are sheep?

John Millhiser, he scared me! He just walked into your house. Well, he came to get Clyde and he found my phone. So he came in and I wasn't expecting that. Then he threw my phone at me. Oh, my God, Nicole, this is your dream. You got someone invaded your home. Oh, my God, this is my dream.

John Millheiser is the old scary homeless man who broke into my house. And he didn't really do anything either except scare me. And then that's what John did. Lord Jesus. John, you want to say hi to Sashir? I was just going to text her today. Okay. Hold on, John's going to say hi to Sashir? Oh, I was just going to text her today. Okay. Hold on.

John's going to say hi to you. Hi, Sashir. Hi, John. I was just going to text you today. I was on a run and I was like, I haven't talked to Sashir in a while. I was going to text you and say hi. Yes.

I miss you too. It's good to see your face. Good to see your face. Yeah. Bye, lady. Okay. Sashir's like, we have a podcast to record. So I guess I'll just see you later.

Bye, John. Thank you. Bye, John. He's taking Clyde since I'm going to New York. Concrete jungles where streets are made of. Big lights will inspire you. I'm not saying it good. That's okay. We understand. I'm not saying it good. I think some of the lyrics got jumbled. Well, what is it?

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do. Now you're in New York. These streets will make you feel brand new. These lights will inspire you. Let's hear it for New York. And you're sure that's not what i was saying i i think some of the words were the same i think the order was a bit jumbled okay all right i guess but maybe that is what you were saying. Probably not. I'm never saying the right lyric. It's okay. I don't know any songs. It's okay.

Any songs front to back. What's that song? From the front to back. Isn't it a feeling that when your left hand's back. Do you know that song? It's front to back. Where my girl's at. Yes. From the front to back. Isn't it a feeling're feeling that put one hand up can you repeat that

can i take my man see i don't need that so don't play yourself you know all those words i didn't know any really Wait, what song is that? Is that 3LW? I think it might be 3LW. Hi, this is Engineer Jordan. Just wanted to step in because I wasn't at this record. This is actually Where My Girl's At by 702, the group 702. Just want to make that minor correction.

That's crazy that you knew all of it. I wasn't expecting it. Deep in there somewhere. I wish I knew lyrics. I certainly don't ever. It's okay. It's not okay. I always feel so bad.

Sushi, I'm really upset. I think I have to check luggage today. Oh, God. The worst. And think I have to check luggage today. Oh, God. The worst. And here's the thing about checking luggage. One, airlines lose them and they don't give a shit about you. Two, I have to get to the airport even earlier. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. To drop it off. Did you already pack? No, you know I didn't. You know what you're taking? No, you know I didn't. You know what you're taking? No, you know I don't. I have no idea what I'm taking. I have no idea what I'm going to pack.

I was going to pack my Hot Wheels sweater, but I wore that last time I was in New York. Yeah, you don't want New York to think that you don't have other clothing. I don't want to think I'm some Hot Wheels freak. Even though I am a Hot Wheels freak. I've been trying to find a short sleeve Hot Wheels shirt and I can't find one. But I did find, guess what I found? Guess what I found?

Guess what I found? A Headstruck shirt? No. Oh, I want one. No. Now I feel dumb what I found. Oh, I wish I had a headstruck shirt. Oh, no.

Well, now I have to go find one. No, I got a Bratz shirt, a Bratz doll shirt. She's a black Bratz doll. And I hadn't, I found only white Bratz dolls, but I was like, I need to find a black one. And she's real cute. She's wearing a hat and she's got braids. But now all I want is a Hess truck shirt.

Yeah, we'll find you one. We'll find you one. What if they don't exist? I'm sure they must. I'm sure. Now I have to get on my phone while we're recording. Has truck shirt. I want one so bad now.

Okay, I gotta see if they make them. They do! But they don't have trucks on them. This one has a truck on it. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. There's so many to choose from. I'm genuinely really excited about this. I'm excited for you. Thank you. Are you wearing a sweatshirt or are you wearing a onesie? A onesie. That must be so comfy cozy. I was walking Clyde earlier and I ran into a neighbor. And, okay, it was like before noon. I feel like there should be a rule that if you see your neighbor before noon, you don't have to talk to them. I wasn't wearing a bra.

My titties were swinging. I was wearing pajama pants. I was wearing a bra my titties was swinging I was wearing pajama pants I was wearing a hat I had maybe some sweat stains from where my titties hit my tummy and it was bleeding through my gray shirt and then he stopped to talk to me for a long time

and I spent like a while just like crossing and uncrossing my arms because I was like I don't want him to like see my loose titties and I don't know should I put like a while just like crossing and uncrossing my arms because I was like, I don't want him to like see my loose titties. And I don't know. Should I put like a letter in everyone's like mailbox? Like, don't talk to anyone before noon. Or just walk out your house with headphones. He's he's no, he was wearing headphones and he took them out to talk to me.

I see. I think what I got to do is put a letter and everyone's Let's not talk to each other until afternoon In the morning Some people have been up for a long time He could have gotten there like 6 a.m. and he had a full day before he saw you. Freak! It's Sunday! Who does that?

I know, I don't. I have a chatty neighbor too, but I just like walk away. I truly thought you said I have an Italian neighbor too and I just walk away and I was like sure. But then I realized you said chatty and then i was like

where did i get italian from yeah chatty italian chatty chatty yeah they don't really flow but for a hot second i was like so sure you can't say that on this podcast the italians will come for you if any italian walks to me, I will walk away. You just walk away from your chatty neighbor? Like, I, like, drift away. It's not like an abrupt, like, turn and then walk away. But it's like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, okay.

It was so good to see you. And then, like, you know, walk into my home. He always catches me so far from my home too. Yeah. And like, but like not far enough that I can't see it, but I'm like, it's pretty far. Ooh, Kimmy brought up a sweatshirt that says, don't talk to me. And yeah.

Is this your answer? I don't know, because I feel like he's the type of person to go that's funny and then start a conversation and then i feel kind of bad wearing a sweatshirt that says don't talk to me because it's like yeah i really don't want to talk to you but like i know you want to talk to me i think you should try to wear because then because you're only wearing it for those moments where you don't want people to talk to you. And then you can change to something else

and people will be like, okay, now she's ready to talk. I just don't want to offend the neighborhood. I think I should anonymously put letters in every single person's mailbox. If I got a letter in my mailbox that was like, hey guys, as a neighborhood, I don't think we should talk to each other

until after 12 p.m. I would go, wow, this person's going through it. I can do that. No, I think I'd be. I think that could send people spinning and they'd be like, wait, who is this person? I talk to people before noon. Is it my fault? Which one of my neighbors put this in my mailbox?

And did everyone get this or just me? P.S. Every single person in the neighborhood has gotten this. It is no single individual. It's been many of you talking to me before I'm ready. And I want to be ready and happy and like ready to talk. But then what if the other neighbors talk to each other to try to figure out who it is

and they all realize it's you. How? How will they realize it's me? Because they're like, I didn't do it. Well, I didn't do it. Well, I didn't do it. And then they're like...

I'll be like, and I didn't do it. I'll lie to all them motherfuckers. They're not my friends. I'll lie. Ooh. Kimmy says, I've written an anonymous note to a neighbor wait what was the note that's really funny i should say my roommate did it but they knew it was us our neighbor his dog died and he was sad and so his brother gave him not one not two not three

but four roosters it was going off in the middle of the day and the night his dog died so he got roosters that's what we found out because i thought there was one rooster and it was going off constantly and so we read an anonymous note saying hey it's kind of legal to have a rooster here and he's keeping us all awake and And he immediately approached me in the street. He's like, so we got your note. And it was like a fully anonymous note. He immediately knew it was us. And he was like, so sorry, my dog died.

My kids were upset. Someone gave us these four roosters. So my kids are really attached to them. And so I immediately backed off because I didn't want to be that person who took away roosters from children. But I would call the cops to jail. Yes. Roosters would go to jail. Yes. It was not a great situation. There

was more to it. I won't get into. But they immediately this was a very crowded neighborhood and they immediately knew it was us. So that is my warning to you. It is hard to be anonymous. God, that's really funny funny maybe they saw you putting the note in their mailbox whereas i can hire someone to do that i can get a little task rabbit to do my bidding and then tell the task rabbit if anybody asks who you are or who hired you you say someone from on top of the hill because i live at the bottom of the hill smart smart smart they'll never find out it's me but they probably will kimmy you're probably right my god everyone's so sleuthy these days everyone's a harriet the spy this is true neighbors be nosy

neighbors be nosy and that's why i don't want to talk to them until afternoon. When I'm on defense. When it's early, I can't think of things to be like, I just tell people the truth. And they don't need to know the truth. No. Like, he was like, what are you doing this week? Who asks?

Who asked somebody that? And I was like, going to New York. He was like, for what New York. He was like, for what? And then I told him, this man doesn't need to know my business. Yeah.

And then he was like, do you have someone who's going to be at the house watching the house? And I said, yes. Even though I don't, but like,

is he, is this, is he going to break into my home? He shouldn't. He has so much money. He has real money. Hmm. Yeah. He doesn't need to break so much money. He has real money. Yeah. He doesn't need to break it to your ass.

Yeah. He'd be so upset if he found things in here. He'd be like, is she a pauper? I feel dirty in this house. A little bit, a little bit. Not broke, but a pauper. Mm-mm. not broke but a pauper wait should we answer queries yes or a quiz which one i think queries help can you hear me before the queries would you like updates on the sheep situation oh yes oh and the girl scout cookies well first i'll say to your sheep questions

i looked and it seems like just about everywhere there are sheep uh cold places hot places all the places i will say they shear them which is when you cut the fur off. They shear them in spring, so it's heading into a warmer season, so they are not going to be uncomfortable. And then I wanted to show you, there was a sheep that famously escaped and then got found seven years later. I don't know if you've seen this image, but it always makes me laugh. This is what happens if you don't get to. It looks like broccoli. It's's really funny it's fluffy and hard at the same time i wonder if it was living like a good life or he was like this is heavy i think it was like it's like many pounds of wool it was very heavy and gross because you can't use the bathroom like it sticks to you oh

no so this dirty ass sheep just had shit on them yeah i think so but but so that means that sheep just can't like be out in the wild on their own they have to someone has to come shear them i don't think they're i think in the same way that we don't have a ton of like wild cows like a lot they've been domesticated and bred to grow this wool and so now it grows really quickly and so this is this is what happens so i imagine there are some versions of wild sheep that don't do this but our sheep do this oh my god this poor little sheep wait so shrekapo the sheep it a Shep or is it a sheep? What's the plural and the singular of sheep?

Sheep and sheep. It's just sheep? It's just sheep. I think we should call him Shep. One Shep, two sheep. Shep sounds like the past tense of sheep. Oh, the sheep Shep to pass away. That Shep sounds like the past tense of sheep. Oh, the sheep shep to pass away. That shep has sailed.

I just feel like we should have a singular and a plural for sheep. You don't think so? Yeah. I don't know if... Yeah, I guess I can't think of any other animals like that or words like that where the plural is the same. I'm sure there are fish school a school a school of fish well correct but that's not that's not a different word this is just use added words because it's safe isn't it a flock of sheep or a herd of sheep? Oh, you're right. Everyone's right.

Okay. Fish are fish. Yeah, why don't we call them fishes? Look at all them fishes. I don't know. I caught so many fishes today. The English language is really crazy. It's rude if you're trying to learn it

a lot of illogical stuff truly it's wild speaking of shearing things i shaved my armpit hair the other day i know i haven't in years and i did it for this show because i think my character would not have armpit hair and um and i've been playing crunchy lesbians for the last four years. I haven't needed to shave my armpits. And so I got so I was like, I was like, I'm going to multitask. I worked out and then I did a face mask and I was like, I'll also do I'll put Nair on there. And then as soon as I put Nair on my armpit I had like a flash memory of like

oh shit I'm not supposed to do this after I work out but I hadn't needed that information for years so I forgot but my pores were all open and it just burned immediately and then I took it off and like some of it came off but some of it didn't so it was like patchy

and then really red in a lot of spots it hurt i think next time you have to shave for something you should use an intuition razor the razor has soap just built around it so it's like you can soap it up and then double the soap with the soap around it. And then it's nice. Yeah. Because I have sensitive skin and I love my intuition. I hadn't shaved my pussy in a really long time because I wasn't getting none. And I went through two full intuition razors.

And let me tell you, there's a lot of soap on them. Just thought you should know. Yeah. Yeah. Did you do the whole shebang? Or just like the key? I do, uh, like the top of the thigh. Does that make sense? Like when the thigh meets the puss and then i do the lips so nobody has to like really struggle to get in there and then i do the butt so there isn't like butt hairs because i don't know there's something about butt hairs that's like not for me but then i leave the whole front the whole front i leave it nice and patchy nice and yeah it's in my special i slept with an irish man who called me patchy oh hula hand he said wow you weren't kidding about that joke patchy oh hula hand and i said

all right i think you should go now how did you not marry this man on the spot i because he lived in texas that's so far away i mean sometimes we still talk on the instagram he's like when do i ever see you again i was like i don't know but i don't think i can like look a man in the eye who's called me patchy. Or maybe I can. I can be like, guess what? It's even patchier.

I do an even worse job now. Okay, now should we answer questions? We gotta. Hi, Nicole and Zaheer. This is going to be a quick question. It's no drama. It's just something that's on my mind. I am the type of person that when I make plans with someone, I don't like to follow up. like reach back out to say like oh confirm blah blah blah I just won't do that and so much so that like if I drive somewhere I'll just drive somewhere and show up and I've had multiple

friends like in different friend groups be like why didn't you tell me you were leaving why didn't you tell me you were on your way and so I guess my question is when you're meeting somebody somewhere or you have to pick somebody up do you let them know that you're on your way, even if you already agreed upon a time and place? All right. Thank you. Bye. Easy. I let everyone know when I'm on my way because I'm late. But if I'm not running late, I do let people know that I'm on my way, just so they can, you know, get ready if they're running a little bit late. And then I'm not trying to get stood up by anybody. So I am always like, or maybe the night before, like on a date, I always confirm like the night before. And if they don't confirm,

the next day I'm busy because you didn't take the time to make sure that we were still going out which is probably bad etiquette and someone's gonna be like you know words that I don't want to hear um but yeah I'm always letting people know when I'm coming. Yeah. I think it's, it's a very like, um, old timey way of like meeting up with people. Like when people didn't have, oh, a cell phone.

Like I'll just be there at seven. Yeah. I just have to see you here and, and hope that you show up. But now, yeah. Checking in can be important because those are things come up. Maybe someone forgot to write down the plans that you had or they didn't hear from you,

so they weren't sure if it was actually happening. And I think, you know, more people like not going to do things. Or like, they're like, like I have made plans where, and then been like, I really hope that we don't actually do the thing. And then, and I think the other person feels that way too. And then like 7 PM on Friday shows up and both, neither of us have texted and we're like, ah, great. We don't have to do the thing. great we don't have to do the thing yeah because if nobody's texting me i'm not going yeah like you have to confirm otherwise i'm like oh so we're not doing this and if i do want to do it i will text you and be like are we doing this but yeah there's been several occasions where i'm

like phew i'm not leaving my house tonight this is lovely yeah dodge that interaction and if you're picking someone up it is nice to let them know that you're coming so that they can get ready or like time out their process because if you don't say anything then they might be like oh maybe she's not coming or she's coming she's running late so i need to so i'll just be running late. So I need to. So I'll just be running late, too. And then all of a sudden you're outside the house. Mm hmm. I love a good be there in 10 so I could finish taking a shower, put on my makeup, put on my clothes, put on my shoes. So you're only waiting a couple minutes for me. Yeah.

I will say that the collar is not wrong. They are that what you're doing is makes sense logically, but other people don't behave that way. So unfortunately you do have to accommodate for other people. Her multiverse is 1942. Yes. She's like, you told me last Thursday that we'll see each other at 8 p.m. on Friday.

And that's what we're doing. And that's what we're doing. That's what's in my calendar. I have turned my phone off since then. I threw it in the river. And guess what? I'll see you then. I'll see you then.

Solved. Solved. Have you seen the movie Before Sunset? No. Who's in it? Ethan Hawhan hawke oh i had a dream about him yeah i remember that um i can't remember her name but it's really good and um and they like spend a day together falling in love in france He's on a European trip. Bonjour. They're like, if it's really love, then let's meet back here

a year from now. Then he does show up, but she doesn't. It's one of those things where it could have been solved with cell phones. If she was like, sorry, I can't make it this time, but can I see you the next day? But he like missed her.

But then it brought two more great movies. So what are the two more great movies? There's sequels. Yeah. Was it after sunset? Let's watch the trailer. This is what people want. So the first one is before sunrise

is that the one you're thinking about? or are you thinking about the sequel which is before sunset I was thinking of the first one which is before sunrise and then it was before sunset and then what was the third one? who's in the squeakquel? it's the same people, oh before midnight

before sunrise, before sunset, before midnight before sunrise before sunset before midnight wow this trilogy has been going on and on 1995 2004 2013 we're due for another this is a richard link later who does those things like the long-term oh like about that like that boyhood movie where i said we spent too much time on this child's childhood well that's literally what it was about it's too much i said can we move on is something gonna happen i think that was kind of the thing it's just like vignettes of life saw it in theaters and I said, nothing's gonna happen. Hmm. Hmm. Ooh, baby. And here's the trailer for Before Sunrise, 1995.

All right, I have an admittedly insane idea, but if I don't ask you this, it's just gonna haunt me the rest of my life. I have no idea what your situation is, but I feel like we have some kind of a connection, right? Yeah, me too. Ring, ring. Pick up the phone. Uh, hello?

I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it for lunch today. I'm sorry. Men are lucky we don't bite off their head after mating. Certain insects do that, you know, like spiders and stuff. We at least let you live. That's a nice, that looks like a nice movie and it looks like one of those movies that like ruin love for me because like nothing like that has ever fucking happened to me i've never once been on a train to anywhere and met somebody anywhere. It does look good, though. I like it. Thank you for sharing, Sashir.

Yeah, no problem. It's a fun watch. Let's help people. Oh, we're done. We don't have time. We don't have time. I made us watch a trailer. But if you want to be ignored by us watching a trailer,

you can email us at Nicole and Sashir at Jamil.com or you can call us at 424-645-7003. We also have merch at pod swag.com slash best friends. Do you like to read? We have transcripts of our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at Earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. That is the easiest way to support this show. Yeah. Woohoo. I'm so sure.

Woohoo.