Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer’s Gonna Love the Meats

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

Good morning… er… or actually good afternoon. This week, Nicole and Sasheer discuss Nicole’s bone-in meat desires, Sasheer’s dislike of ice-cream, the Arby’s dessert menu, who IS Kathy Toop, biblical theme parks, how old is Beyonce, and hear Nicole’s review of Fast X. They take a quiz to see if they are good enough to be Shrek’s friend, and answer listener questions about dealing with a drunk friend at a wedding as well as hear how Nicole can better use limewash in her house. Tah-hoo-hoo!  Here is the quiz we took: https://www.buzzfeed.com/hadley_cannon_2030/would-you-qualify-to-be-shreks-friend   Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions/ “Is this weird” suggestion at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hey friends, we are back with a live show in Los Angeles. We're going to be at the Largo at the Coronet Monday, June 19th. It's our live show. It's our first live show in a while and we are so excited to be together and to be with you. Come bring your best friend, bring your best friend. Bring multiple best friends. Bring your friendship questions. And be ready to have a lot of fun.

Tickets are available at Largo-LA.com for Monday, June 19th. See you there. See you there. See you there. People will be like, they're sick. They're not well. Maybe we should go and check up on them. Yes. Good morning, Sashir.

Good morning, Nicole. Actually, it's not morning in either place. At all. No, it's afternoon here. No, it's very much afternoon here. Oh, my God. So Clyde and I went on a walk. Mm-hmm. And we saw a snake. Oh, creepy.

And Clyde tried so hard to shit right next to that snake and make friends. And I screamed, you can't shit near a snake. And then a lady walked by and she was like, oh, that is a snake. And then I clocked that she was holding a tiny bottle of shutter home wine but there wasn't wine in it it was clear which leads me to believe it was water and she reuses it for water for her walk or my friend was slamming vodka oh you know a lot of interesting options there yes and do you remember the house i sent you that's being built by me where it seems like their front door is in the heaven oh yeah so a man working on the house i was like oh are you

working on this house and he was like yes and i said why is the front door so high up and he was like well you can access it through the garage but the the views are great and i was like sure but why isn't the front door lower like why is it so high he's like well that's the design we did and i was like yeah but like i would never come visit he's like well you don't have to and i was like okay damn you don't have to it was so rude and then i went to dinner with wait you don't think it's rude to walk up and be like, I don't like this design. I wouldn't have. Didn't think of it that way. He didn't ask you at all.

Didn't think of it that way at all. But I guess it was rude of me. I mean, it's so high up. It's going to be thousands of stairs. It's like what you your house is. Montepicchu or whatever. Monte Pikachu, whatever. The mountain. I got to climb Mount Everest to visit you. it's like what you your house is montepicchu or whatever montepicchu whatever the mountain i gotta climb mount everest to visit you i would never and then this man was rude to me because i pulled into this parking lot and he he was like hello and

i was like hi how much is it he was like like, $12. You can park anywhere. I said, okay. He's like, cold tonight, right? And I was like, it is cold. Oh, I wish I had a car to get. And I said, ooh, I do. I have one in my back seat. Then I said, you don't care, do you? And he goes, no, I don't. And I was like, okay.

I mean, you asked and he gave an honest answer. Lie, tell me you care about me he's he works for being so rude parking lot he doesn't this is not like customer service he's gonna have to be nice to you at all i guess you're right i just was really shook do you know like just pretend that you care about me. Is that so hard to ask? I love when people are honest and don't do the fake. Like, how are you? How do you do? There's like so much of that in parts of Georgia where the customer service is like overly like, right this way.

Let me get this for you. And I'm like, ah, like you can just, you can say all the same things. It's like be a human being. Yeah, just be chill about it. I think there are people who like that, who want to feel like doted on or something. I don't like it though.

They want to feel like this sizzler is their home. That's what some people want. Yeah. I went to a restaurant where the server was like, she was overly nice. She was just like, have you dined here before? I hadn't. My friend had. And she's like, welcome back and welcome for the first time.

What can I get you? And I was like, oh, my God, wine. And then I ordered these like, I don't know what they're called, but I was like oh my god wine and then I ordered these like I don't know what they're called but they were like bones and meat and she was like we're actually um was it just a piece of meat I don't know what kind of meat it was it came in a big dish and they were big bones okay big bones and big meat and I wanted that and she's, we're all out of it. And I was like, wait, what? And she said, sorry. And I said, well, can you like find one back there and just like give me one? Like, do you just have one? And she's like, let me see what I could do. And then she didn't do it.

And I knew they had a piece of bone and meat back there for me. I just wanted the one. Yeah. Dang. I mean, I would have taken one from someone's table that like they didn't want just heat it back up and kill the bacteria from the table and then give it to me ew what do you mean ew i think it's like a health code thing i don't think i don't think they can do that if you heat it up you're killing bacteria from the other people give me my bone and meat but i think they like don't want to risk it because what if you get sick from it? And then you're like,

it's because they gave me someone else's food. I would sign a waiver to never talk about it. At your own risk. Yeah, I mean, we should start a restaurant where if you don't want

to take home your leftovers, another table can order your leftovers at a half price. Ew. I think that's so gross. Okay. You're going to think this is nasty. My friend used to work at a restaurant.

It's no more. It was called Henry's on the Upper West Side. And this table ordered a steak. And I was at the bar having a nice time, just clocking the table. They're one of the last ones. They didn't touch, nobody touched that steak. It was like a table steak that nobody wanted. And then they got it wrapped up and then they left it

and nobody came back and they were like about to close. So I took it home. Okay. And I ate it and it was good. I guess that's okay. I think that if it's like in the middle of the table and no one touched it, I think it's fine. But if someone has food on their plate that they've been eating around, I think that food should go in the trash. Well, they kept taking these dishes with the bones and the meat in them.

So I'm thinking people were taking bones and meat and putting them on their plate. And then the bones and meat that they were taking away had not been touched. Oh, I see. Okay. Maybe. I wish I knew what kind of meat this was. I'm glad you don't. I want to keep describing it as bones and meat.

It was the biggest bone and the biggest piece of meat. And it looked luxurious. Like I wanted it. Hmm. Like, I wanted it. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

When you come back to L.A., I have a restaurant that I must take you to. Lots of meat. On skewers. Ooh. Okay. And they make their own soft serve ice cream. What? Well, that's not a thing for me, but I'm glad you get to have that.

Yes, it is a thing specifically for me. But you're going to love the meat. I can't wait to get the meat. Is it Arby's? Are you just singing me to Arby's? Imagine, I'm like, I can't wait till you get home. I found this fabulous restaurant and we roll up of Arby's imagine I'm like I can't wait till you get home I found this fabulous restaurant and we roll up to Arby's

you're like they have the meats they have the meats and I love the meats I'm pretty sure they have ice cream too now I don't know if Arby's has ice cream Jordan will you look up if Arby's has desserts there's a Dairy Queen near me. And do you like Dairy Queen?

Yes. I love a grill and chill. Yes. I was going to talk about that. I don't know if I've ever been in a Dairy Queen. And it says grill and chill. So they must have burgers. Yes.

Do they have full menus? Yes. They have some of the best chicken fingers you can get. Really? Yes. I love Dairy Queen Grill and Chill Chicken Fingies. They are so delightful and delicious. The Dairy Queen in the town I grew up in didn't have a grill.

They only had a chill. Yeah, that's what I'm used to, is just the chill part. But the grill yeah surprising yeah and i think they have hot dogs so i think you might have a nice time oh my goodness maybe i would yeah my okay so let's say you're going to a dairy queen what is your order i don't even know what they have there uh i guess a hot dog and well see I don't I wouldn't go because I just thought they only had chills and I would only get ice cream there which I don't want to get yeah you're not an ice cream fan and that makes me sad sometimes I know it's a real

contentious point I just want to like lick some dessert with you i'm so sorry although i did have some ice cream recently at a restaurant in la that i liked because it wasn't too cold i don't know how they made it but it wasn't too cold and it was like where was it from oh i can't remember what the name of it was i I'll have to look it up. But it was like a new restaurant. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, they got a chili dog for you, too, for $5. I can feel... Hot dog one is sideways,

and it's very strange to look at a hot dog at that angle. They're trying to show you the goods. Yeah. But it's funny to have only chili and not cheese. Like it's just chili. It just looks so strange. It does look very strange. Because, yeah, it's usually like a chili cheese dog, right?

Yeah. But yeah, this is a proper food menu like any other fast food restaurant. Fries, onions, pretzel sticks. Yeah. Cheese curds. Cheese curds. Cheese curds. Salads. Ooh, wait, give me a salad from DQ.

My order growing up was a peanut buster parfait. And they were my absolute favorite. And I would get them with sprinkles. So it's a layer of fudge, sprinkles, peanuts. And I would get a singular Reese's mini peanut butter cup and then ice cream and then the same layer of the same yum yum ice cream and then topped off with the same layer of the same yum yum. And honestly, it was a lot for a child. And my mother let me have it because she said, I'm setting you up for failure. It is a lot for a child.

It's a lot for an adult. And I would slop that shit down. Ooh, wait, it's a royal treat. Oh, my fave. Oh, this is Arby's. They do have ice cream. Mm-hmm. An orange cream shake.

Chocolate shake. That sounds good. Jamocha shake. Ooh, jamocha me crazy. And a vanilla shake. This is, yeah. Yeah. Apple turnover.

Cherry turnover. This is great. They have the sweets. They have the sweets. They have the meats and the sweets. One of my favorite treats is from a gas station. It's called a For Real Milkshake. And you get to choose your consistency for real. And I was so excited to have one when I was driving back from Vegas.

And it wasn't good. It was like rotten. It was like, I was so disappointed. I had one little yum yum scoop and I was like, this is sick. And then we got coupons because Mano complained. We got coupons for free ones, but we still haven't gone to get our free ones. Yes, for real. Yeah, find one close to me.

There's one in North Hollywood. North Hollywood. Not many places. Not too many. And they're all at gas stations. I think they might be hard to keep up. Yes, this year it's a gas station treat. I guess so. Oh,

Eagle Rock. Ooh, okay. The Eagle Rock Chevron. Yes, the Eagle Rock Chevron. The Circle K. We got the Chevron Extra Mile. We got Honey to a Bee Smoke Shop. Okay. Branching out. Yeah, they're at a smoke shop. Quiznos.

At a Quiznos. Emporium Thai Cuisine. branching out yeah they're on a smoke quiz nos emporium thai cuisine i love for reals and it's ice cream or frozen yogurt no no it's ice cream but i do love some frozen yogurt when we were leaving the bahamas i had to stay in the customs line for hours. It was terrible. You breezed right through. But on the other side, there was a TCBY, the country's best yogurt. And I was so elated. I love a TCBY. It's the best. It's the country's best yogurt. We had a TCBY in my town growing up. And my mother would be like, do you want TCBY or do you want Dairy Queen? And sometimes I'd be like, mama, let's be healthy, TCBY.

But then I would load it up with some fudge and Reese's peanut butter cups. So it was not healthy at all. Yeah, no. It's basically the same thing I was getting from Dairy Queen. Right. It's true. Growing up, did you have a favorite sandwich shop? Hmm.

What was my favorite sandwich shop? I did get a lot of burgers from hardy's oh those thick burgers oh a hardy's thick burger oh shit what's the name i think it was luigi's in lingcroft new jersey no luigi's was a pizza, shit. How do I figure out the name of this sandwich shop? Joyce's. That's what it was. Joyce's Subs. And they made the most delicious bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches and BLTs.

They also had pizza. Jordan, can you look it up to see if they're still in business? Joyce's serves the pizzas yes in Lincroft New Jersey let's look at that menu this is a great website pretty elegant oh wait

it's just pictures of their menu very elegant very very elegant I want to see what they have for breakfast are at the venue. Very elegant. Very, very elegant. I want to see what they have for breakfast. Healthy choices. Egg whites.

The bells. Two egg whites, avocado, green pepper, onion, They have avocados now? Wow. Moving on. They're keeping up with the times. They really are. Okay, let's see what cold subs there are.

Wait, who's Kathy Toop? Wait, go back up. There's a Kathy Toop special? Who's Kathy? Three pancakes or French toast, two eggs, any style, bacon and toast. It's also not very special. It's pretty. No, it's not at all. Kathy Toop. Maybe she was a regular. Interesting. Maybe. And that's what she got every day. If anyone knows who Kathy Toop is, please let me know. I gotta know.

Well, that's Joyce's Subs. That was my favorite sandwich place growing up. I'm glad we went over that. I'm so glad we went over that. I'm not really a sandwich person. I think I'm more of a burger or anything else person. I am as well. I do love a burger. I'm not a sandwich girl really i'm never

really eating sandwiches except there was this place in new york called subs conscious i've talked about them on the podcast before because that's how i found out that i liked craft ranch so much because i was like your ranch is divine and they were like it's craft and i was like what um but yeah i like those sandwiches. I would get grilled chicken, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and dip it in some ranch. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Mm-hmm. Oh, I got to tell you about this place I went to in my Midwest adventures.

I went to the Ark Encounter. It is a... It's a biblical adventure park? It is a biblical adventure park. They built Noah's Ark to what they think is scale.

And you can go in. There's a museum inside of it. Oh my god. It is huge. and they also have like zip lining and like a petting in the ark outside of the ark they do have like like crates and cages of like where they think animals would have been and this was finished in like 2016 and they i guess were like well we can't deny that dinosaurs existed so they put dinosaurs in the ark like this this makes me very happy to think of noah corralling a tyrannosaurus rex into the ark. They have pictures of Adam and Eve surrounded by Brontosauruses and other dinosaurs.

And I guess they're like, well, you know, the Bible didn't specify what type of animal it was. It said, you know, two dogs. But dogs back at that time were like this breed of dinosaur that eventually evolved into a dog. So. Wow. That's actually fully unhinged. That is simply wild.

What a treat for all of us. And did you have a nice time? I had the best time. I was laughing all the whole time. That's why I went. I was like, this is going to be a riot. I can't wait. And yeah, it was just like astounding to be like, so many people signed on to this.

Like there's a whole wall of donors of people who like paid for a plank, paid for like, like the side of the ark, paid for a window. And I'm like, did they know dinosaurs were involved with this when they paid for this stuff? Honestly, that is so fucking funny. I think there's like another Christian amusement park, maybe in Florida. I just remember driving. Maybe I was in the Midwest. I don't remember. But remember driving past being like i would like to go to there and i wish i hadn't like i didn't have to drive to like go to a show i wish i could just stop here and have a nice time with jesus yeah but it was interesting to watch people who i think came for a nice time with jesus and were confused about what

they were seeing they were like what dinosaurs aren't real it's adam and eve what are you doing that is so funny there's also like a placard at the beginning of the tour that was like explaining how they included the women of the ark like noah's family like his wife and his daughters because i guess the bible didn't really explain that much about them but they're like we're expanding their story and i was like who's trying to make this woke. I guess I appreciate it, but all of it's like, what? They're like, if we're going to do this, we're going to do it in a way that's above board and inclusive. There was even a part part about um like racism and like have people use the bible to um further their agenda of uh inequality or or like or oppression wow and then they explain like yes unfortunately some people use some bible verses to like uh be racist but god says and they put some quotes about like everyone being equal and we're

all god's children and all this stuff and i was like i mean not what i was expecting at all no imagine someone's whole philosophy changed just by reading that like they're like i'm racist god doesn't want me to be racist. I love black people. Maybe. Maybe that's a change in lives. Who knows? I found something where a man was explaining. So you know how people will use the Bible to be like,

a man lying with another man is a sin, but they don't read the whole thing because men should be on top back in the day to assert like dominance or whatever so if you lie with another man the man who's bottoming is like an abomination because he's not on top that's all they meant by that allegedly i might be bastardizing it because i don't comprehend and retain information but i was like oh that's so it was like this this it was like a this man had like spliced himself with this woman, like explaining why being gay is wrong or whatever. And he was like, no, I actually have like a doctorate in Thelodian studies.

What's that called? Theology? Sure. Yeah, that sounds right. Sounds better than Thelodian. And then he just was explaining what it actually meant. And I was like, oh my God, People have just been twisting words for centuries. Oh, yeah.

There's also like, I don't know if it's versions of the Bible or just parts of the Bible that were written by women that just got fully erased. Oh, my God. They're like, Martha, fuck off. We don't like this. We don't like this. Too many stories about women. Wait, what? God said this to me.

God doesn't talk to women. Fuck off, Martha. Pretty much. Yeah. Wild. Yeah. Yeah. The world is truly wild this year.

Truly. Truly wild. Truly, truly, truly. Do you have any fun plans planned? Or are you just working, working, working? Working, working. We're going to go to Usher this summer, which will be great. Hell yeah, dude. I'm so excited.

Yeah. We're going to go see Usher. We might go to a Cirque du Soleil thing as well. I'm just like really excited for Usher we got good seeds yeah it's gonna be great oh my god oh i love that song climax i'm gonna be singing along just not knowing any of the words. Also, we're seeing Beyoncé. Yes.

We finally got tickets. Thank God. I'm excited. I feel like we were like, how do we do this? How can we possibly get there? And all we had to do was just buy tickets. Yeah. Literally, I was like, Sashir, I'm going to look into it.

So I just went to Beyonce.com, looked at the tour dates, clicked on the tour dates, and then clicked on Ticketmaster.com, bought tickets for the wrong day. And then Ticketmaster makes it very easy to relist said tickets. So I relisted them at the same price I bought them.

I just lose like the fees or whatever, but I was like, I'm not going to like try to make money off this. It's wild. And then I bought them for the same price I bought them I just lose like the fees or whatever but I was like I'm not gonna like try to make money off this wild um and then I bought them for the correct day and they're pretty decency yeah I when you said I'm gonna look into this I thought you're gonna like ask connects try to get a hookup no I literally just went to Beyonce.com. I was like, ooh, here's some dates. And then bought them like a regular ass person. Yeah, perfect. Well, the internet says this might be her like last tour for a minute.

And I was like, she is getting old. She does have three kids. I mean, I understand. Yeah, I don't think, yeah. kids. I mean, I understand. Yeah. I don't think, yeah. I can't imagine wanting to tour a lot with three kids.

Yeah. How old is she? I don't actually know. 47. 47. I think that's too old. I would say 43. That sounds more...

She's 41? Okay, 41. Wow. I think she's... Which is also not that old. No, it's not that old. She definitely has more tours than her. But if she wanted to slow down, I would understand.

It's been actually a while since her last one. Yeah, that's why I think it's going to be a minute before her next. Yeah, that makes sense. I need to get a Beyonce shirt to wear. I like wearing the shirt of the thing I'm going to. I went and saw Fast X. I, you got, yes, that, oh, her birthday is 1980, 1981? That's so wild.

She seems older and I don't know why. I think it's because she's accomplished so much. Yeah, and she's been around forever. Mm-hmm. When I went to go see Fast X, or Fast and Furious 10, I don't know what they're actually calling it, I wore my Fast and Furious Hello Kitty t-shirt, and I was so happy to be there.

I went and saw it the day before its global debut. I don't know how the theater I went and saw it the day before its global debut. I don't know how the theater I went to got it the day before, but I saw it and I'm here to report it's a perfect movie. No notes. I'm sure it is. It is so good. Yeah.

I had the time of my life. People were popping up all over the place that you're like, wait, what? Aren't you? What? How are you here? Like cameos? I love Vin Diesel. Well, there are some people who were thought to be dead who are not dead.

Oh, interesting. Which is a theme of the franchise because Han dies allegedly in three, but then is in four or five. He's in the rest of the franchise because he was a fan favorite so that's why the third movie is out of order i think the third movie happens after six it's very fun did you know that that they're out of chronological order i did not know that it's fucking great and then they base this movie on the best movie in the franchise. I don't want to give too much away. It's based on Fast Five, which is the best movie in the franchise.

And Jason Momoa is in it. And they put him in gaucho pants for a lot of the time. And it's fabulous. So, Shira, I would like to see it with you. I think you'll have fun. I would love to see it. The only Fast and Furious movie I've seen, which is not actually a Fast and Furious movie,

is Hobbs and Shaw. And I had the best time of my life. You left the theater and you went, wow, that movie was fun as heck. And I was like, fun as heck. And then we laughed and laughed. It was fun as heck. I love big, flashy, dumb stuff.

Well, get ready, because it is the flashiest and the dumbest. And then, oh, God. And then, for whatever reason, the costume designer put a lot of the women in white pants for an inexplicable reason. I don't know. I was like, why are all the women in white pants?

Why? Also, Wonder Woman's in it. No, not Wonder Woman. What's her name? Captain America. Brie Larson. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And I was like, was she in any other ones? I need to go back and rewatch. I don't think so. I think this is her first one, no? I'm trying to get into these movies so bad. They keep expanding the cast. There's room. They really do the cast. There's room. They really do.

There is room for me. There is room for me. Let me in, Vin Diesel. But yeah, that was the highlight of my week last week. I mean, that's great. Or this week. It was great.

I loved it. I think you should see it. You should really see it. I do want to see it. Yeah. Okay. Should we do a Shrek quiz? Oh, yes.

Let's do a Shrek quiz. I'm very excited about this Shrek quiz. I do love Shrek. This friendship quiz will totally... This friendship quiz will totally expose... This friendship quiz will totally expose if you're good enough to be Shrek's friend. Good enough. Shrek doesn't even want friends.

No, he doesn't. But by the end, he learns he does. That's right, lessons. Mm-hmm. Have you seen all the Shrek movies? Yes. No. Some of them.

Huh? What's Shrek? I don't want to meet anybody who says, what's Shrek? Yeah, that is strange. Shrek was such a cultural phenomenon. Yes. Like, do you live under a fucking rock or are you a loser? How do you not know what Shrek is?

How many movies were there? Just two or? I believe three. Okay, I definitely have not seen all of them. I'm pretty sure I've seen them all, but I have gaslit myself into thinking I've seen all the movies of a franchise that I like. Shrek the Halls? I don't know if I've seen...

Oh, is that a short? Wait, there's Shrek 5? What? Oh. So, okay, I have not seen all of them. Whoa. Yeah, Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the 3rd, Shrek the Halls, Shrek Forever After, and Shrek 5. Whoa.

I missed Shrek Forever After. That's pretty upsetting for me. Mm-hmm. This is, wow, this is a blow. I thought I had seen the whole shrek franchise i wasn't even aware okay so neither of us have seen all the so yeah i've seen some of them i've also seen some of them okay if shrek walked up to you what would you say oh my god is that shrek hi don't say anything.

Huh? Again, I don't want to meet the person who sees Shrek and just goes, Huh? That's also rude. What are you? Yes. You can't walk up to anybody and just say,

Huh? Like he's, Shrek is green and has big ears. You shouldn't want to other Shrek you know what I mean yeah you gotta accept him except Shrek I would say hi I think I would say oh my god is that Shrek even though I know it's Shrek wait a minute there is no mistaking I might not say anything because when I saw one of my favorite Instagram ladies at the Grove, I was just like, oh, my God, there she is. I can't believe she's there. And I didn't say anything to her.

I was like, oh, my God, Allegra Cole. So, yeah, I might just whisper and not say anything. Do you want to be friends with Shrek? Yes. No. Eh. friends with Shrek yes no who is Shrek wow I hate this fourth person yeah someone who doesn't know who Shrek is I would like to be friends with Shrek because then I could meet Donkey you're just being friends with Shrek to meet Donkey I can't believe that's how you phrased it that is not how it came out of my mouth.

That's how you said it. I cannot believe it. You're using Shrek to get to Donkey. Shrek is his own entity, his own being. He is. Not just Donkey's friend. You're right. You're right.

Shrek is more than just Donkey's friend. I would like to be friends with shrek for his own merit i don't want to be friends with shrek okay he's kind of rude he's stinky yeah yeah and it seems like trouble follows him that's funny what do you think of donkey? He's all right. He's awesome. Um, this is awkward, but I think Shrek would be better off without him. Oh, who's donkey? Boring. Okay. I think he's awesome.

I want a donkey spinoff. Yeah. I'm actually surprised there wasn't a donkey spinoff. Right? Wild. I guess I would say he's all right. Oh my God. So sure. No,

wait, he's awesome. He's awesome. I think he's awesome. I changed my mind. Thank you. Thank you. If you could choose what color Shrek would be, what would you pick?

Red. Orange. Yellow. Still green. Blue. Purple. Other. Rainbow.

What other colors? we named them all i guess we didn't name pink okay that's another i would say still green i like a green track maybe blue that could be fun looks like an Shrek? Yeah. Okay. How old do you think Shrek is? One to ten years. Eleven to twenty? Twenty-one to thirty. Thirty to fifty? Fifty-one or older. I think thirty to fifty.

These are huge. Wait. Twenty-one to thirty is such a small gap. Eleven to twenty is a small gap. 11 to 20 is a small gap. 30 to 50 is a large gap. Very large. Yeah, I think 30 to 50. Yeah, same.

He seems... Judith says, according to Variety, there is a donkey spin-off. Oh, well, well, well. Okay. That's nice. Wow. Oh, it's from April 4th.

Hot off the press. Oh. Okay. That makes me happy. I'm very excited about this so streck five is no check five and a donkey spinoff are in the works wow this is great asking you shall receive yes lord this is what the people need this is what the people wanted was shrek look good in a hat yes no i don't know of course um i was expecting what's a hat uh which uh i would say yes i'm gonna say no the ears oh yeah do you know who

trek is yes no obviously yes this quiz we need to defFeed. I say it almost every week. This is the wildest quiz. Does Shrek creep you out? Yes. No. Not really. Not sure. I'm going to say no.

Shrek does not creep me out. I'll say yes. If I did see Shrek in real life I'd be like I don't know he's an ogre that's a little scary maybe I guess

I'm just an adventure person who's into meeting different types of people not me I'm close minded okay lastly how would you rate Shrek Not me. I'm close-minded. Okay. Lastly, how would you rate Shrek? One out of ten. Four out of ten. Six out of ten.

Eight out of ten. Ten out of ten. Other. What's a rating? I would do ten out of ten. I would do eight out of 10. I would do eight out of 10. So this is Nicole. Yes. You and Shrek would be friends forever.

Welcome to the swamp, baby. I'm excited. Wow. I would also be friends. Okay. I feel like I didn't really give too many positive answers, but I don't think you did either.

I think maybe anything you answer would just be like yes yes you are friends with shrek you are friends with shrek great i'm so glad we did it we did we're both friends with shrek should we answer some questions and queries from our friends? Yes. Load them up, Jordan. Lay them on us. Lay it on us. Lay it on us, baby. Hi, Nicole and Shazia.

I've been dancing with you guys for so long. I've been listening to the podcast from the beginning. And then I also listened to, Nicole, your podcast, Why Won't You Date Me? I love you guys so much. Anyways, moving forward. I'm driving, but I do this. I have two best friends. We're like a trio. Everyone, whenever we go anywhere and people expect us, they, like, say that we all, like, go together.

Like, we're always together. We're a trio. Well, I was asked. All three of us were at a friend's wedding. We were on a dance team in college. We were at one of our friend's weddings, a dance team. Our one friend got super, super, super, super drunk. She was clawing all over the dance floor.

She got cut off at the wedding. It was a open bar. She got cut off by the barsters. She got on stage of the band. She got on stage of the band. She got on stage with the band, and the band had to kick her off the stage. So she just got really drunk. And so me and my other friend, we were not as drunk, and we were trying to take care of her, and she was just, like, being a mess.

So then we get on a charter bus to Dachau to go party some more with the wedding party. And she is yelling at us on the bus. We were just, like, not responding. We kind of just, like, ignore her. And then I lean over to her, and I tell her, hey, I need you to calm down. Like, you are being on the block. And she calms down. She literally calms down she literally calms down she's like oh my god oh my gosh okay and she like takes a nap on the bus it was perfect we get to the club the three of us and people from the wedding party and we're all having fun for dancing but she's again it's just like all over

this place super drunk so my friend my other friend notices that everyone around us from the wedding party kind of just like walk away like they're just kind of uncomfortable with how drunk she is and so my friend she looks to our drunk friend and she says like, you're making everyone uncomfortable. Like, people are starting to get embarrassed. When she says this, now, I did not hear her say this, but when she says this, our friend basically flips out, flips shit. She flips out. She runs away to the bar. We go find her. I'm still

so confused as to what's happening at this point. Then, our friend is like, hey, let's talk about this. You're obviously upset about what was said. And she tries to front up and she's like, fuck you guys. How dare you say that? I'm embarrassing to you. Like, how dare you? I would never say that to you guys. I would never say that to you guys.

And we're like, I'm still confused. I'm like uh no one ever said that we were embarrassed by you and our friends like we're not embarrassed by you you're just making people feel awkward and weird she's just super drunk she gets so mad she yells at us she's yelling at us in the club the bastards come over and are like you guys need to leave you can't be doing this in the club and so then she leaves she goes downtown by herself me and this other friend we get an uber to her place to basically be there when she gets home she gets back to our place we're there we're like hey let's talk about this like we weren't saying that we were embarrassed by you we're letting you know that other people are uncomfortable by how

drunk you are and she will not hear it. She's just, like, throwing a fit, cursing at us, saying, fuck you guys, fuck you, fuck this, get the fuck out of my house. She is just yelling at us belligerently. And we, you know, we're trying to keep

our composure, but eventually I get pissed off because you're only going to yell at me for so long before I yell at you back. So then it's just like all out war, basically, I don't know, with between us two and her. Cut to the end of the night, we resolve it, at least I think we resolve it. And we are basically friends again.

Two days later, she texts texts us she's like i need space from you guys i can't believe that you said that you were embarrassed by me i need space from you are we and my question is are we and my friends in the wrong for what was said i did not a i did not say what was said i guess i co-signed what was said. I did not, A, I did not say what was said. I guess I co-signed what was said, and maybe I shouldn't because I didn't really hear what she said, but I don't know. But you are that drunk and that belligerent and that messed up, and then you proceed to yell at us, tell us to fuck off, and we're supposed to be your two best friends and i don't think that we deserve that and i don't know if us saying that other people are uncomfortable other people are embarrassed that's the word she's really upset about is embarrassed is that has equal weight

to the way that she treats us at night and just how good her impression was and i don't know i feel like i'm being punished for being with a friend and telling it how it is and i need you guys to help to navigate the situation like what would you do in this situation how would you handle this one word compared to an entire night such as mayhem okay i'm sorry about this. Thank you. Let me know. Okay, love you guys. Hmm.

I think it's hard to use logic when dealing with a belligerently drunk person. Like, no, what you're saying wasn't too harsh, but also she was gone. Like, she wasn't in a place to accept critique. She was gone at the wedding. Like, really, the next move should have been to put her in a car to go home instead of bringing her to a second location where she could get even more drunk. location where she could get even more drunk um not you know not to like be like this is what should have happened but like how could you expect anything else different to happen when she already showed you how drunk she was at the wedding and now now you're at a club and she's still drunk

slash getting more drunk so it sucks that she got that drunk who knows you know she the caller didn't describe if this is a habit like if this if she the person gets that drunk all the time or if this is a new thing or a uh one type of occasion kind of thing but either way like if you're arguing with a drunk person, like you should know it's not going to go well. It's not going to like be like, you know what? I understand. Like it's not. They're going to still be drunk and rowdy. So the best thing to do is kind of just like walk away and let them sleep it off.

And hopefully you have a coherent conversation the next day. walk away and let them sleep it off. And hopefully you have a coherent conversation the next day. But yeah, you can't really expect a logical outcome when a person is being in an illogical state when they are not of clear mind. Mm-hmm. I feel like them sober, you could be like, sometimes drunk people are embarrassing or whatever.

You were being just like a little unruly but like that's just one night and i'm not sure why you're so upset that we said that because that's what happens when people get a little too drunk we were i also agree with you that like if you could time travel it's like just send her home just say hey friend you gotta get home you gotta get to bed um and I do think it's really sweet that you went to her house to make sure she got home okay. Yeah, that is nice. I don't know. I wonder if this is, if

drunk friend has more things going on. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you know, something got triggered when you said that she's being embarrassing. Yeah. Because she really latched on to, I guess you didn't say she's being embarrassing. You're saying people are uncomfortable, but she latched on to the embarrassing aspect of that.

And to the point where she remembered it after the fact. So like, it does seem like there's something in there that doesn't have anything to do with you too. Yeah. But also she's probably wants to take space because she's embarrassed, too. Yeah, that also might be a thing.

Sometimes, you know, I've gotten drunk and I've said things and I'm like, you know what, maybe I won't talk to that person for a little bit. It was a little weird. I got a little weird. So yeah, maybe taking some space is a good thing and then hit her up a couple weeks from now

or a week from now and be like, hey, are you, how are you feeling? Um, are you still feeling upset? Or actually, I don't know. Maybe you just like hit her up and you're like, let's hang out and then let her bring up if she's still feeling some type of way. Yeah. But I wouldn't look at her saying, I want to take some space as punishment to you guys. because she might just actually need some space to work out whatever is happening. Yeah. And maybe you could just be like, OK, like, we're here if you need us.

Best. Be well. Best of luck. Be well. Yeah, I agree. I think that's that's pretty solid but yeah don't fight with drunk people it's it's best to walk away it's never gonna go the way you want to say i'll talk to you tomorrow when you're not drunk yeah solved solved i want to know what the bride and groom or the people who got married think about this person getting on their stage at the reception.

My goodness. Yeah, that's pretty wild. That's very wild. I'd be like, you must leave. You're banished from the wedding. Yeah. I can't believe those people weren't just like, go home. Yeah, that's pretty wild yeah um let's do another one yeah okay hi kimmy jordan and nicole and sashir i'm an interior decorator enjoying the

most recent podcast was super excited to hear about nicole's guest room renovation there's no renovation i just painted I have a tip recording regarding the lime wash. I didn't do lime wash. A lot of applications you see online have Venetian plaster texture with the lime wash applied over it. This allows for more of a brush texture to show and creates a more impactful finished product. From my experience, this looks way better. From my experience, this looks way better. All the best. Thank you.

I painted. I did bad. Maybe someone will fix it. I don't know. Everybody could do a lime wash over it. Oh, maybe I could. Maybe there is still hope for me. Did I tell you I painted the door and I ran out of paint and just left it?

No, you didn't. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. I'm thriving, honey. You're painting everything. Listen, I want my walls colored. Great. You found it weird. We don't call them colored anymore.

We call them walls of color. I really want some walls of color in my home. I'm trying to diversify my space. And, you know, I have an inclusion incentive to diversify my space. So that's what I've been getting into. Yeah, man. If you have any questions or queries or suggestions or concerns, email us at Nicole and Sashira at gmail.com.

Or you can leave a voicemail, a voice memo, or a text at 424-645-7003. Podswag.com slash bestfriends has merch. mail, a voice memo, or a text at 424-645-7003. Podswag.com slash bestfriends has merch. We also have transcripts for our new episodes. You can get them at our show page at Earwolf.com.

The easiest way to support this show? Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. Oh, look at you. Gotta keep it interesting. You gotta. Well, goodbye, Nicole. Well, goodbye, Sasheer. Ta-ta.

Ta-hoo. Ta-hoo. No one in the history of goodbyes has never said. But I think I'm a start. No, she's not. Bye. Goodbye.