Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer’s TV Crush was Patrick Stewart

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

Hey Friends! Nicole checked out the Sonic Speed Café and had a knuckle sandwich. Sasheer watches The Idea of You. Nicole gets emotional about how the Sonic franchise hits home. Sasheer's TV crush as a kid was Patrick Stewart from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Nicole’s childhood celebrity crush was Vin Diesel. Sasheer hasn’t seen the movie Liar, Liar. Nicole wants to know if Sasheer finds it funny. Sasheer thinks White Chicks is hilarious and Nicole thinks Houseguest is so funny.  They take a BuzzFeed quiz to determine which animal they embody. Plus, they answer your friendship questions about trying to make friends outside of their siblings, what people are supposed to get for wedding gifts, and how to get over a toxic friendship.   This was recorded on May 14th, 2024.Here is the quiz we took: https://www.buzzfeed.com/nicolebeck/food-choices-inner-animal-quiz  Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

so sure i did it i made it to the sonic speed cafe gotta go fast food thank god how was it honestly i loved it it was an hour drive. It's in Chino Hills. It is smaller than I thought it was going to be. But I love the decoration. And there was like too many children in there to get all the pictures that I wanted. I just like felt some type of way about being like, move. Move your children out of my way as an adult so I can get my Sonic pictures. But I got a Knuckles sandwich.

That's fun. I love that. A Knuckles chicken sandwich. It was really good. And honestly, I don't know if I've been happier. I kind of get Disney adults now. Like, if the mascot was there, I might have passed away. Like, I really might have just died. Oh. Which is funny because it's just an adult

it's just i know um also i started the knuckles six part event um i okay here's something insane i was watching so i watched half of an episode waited two days finished half of the episode because i was like i don't want it to be over you didn't even finish a full episode no because i was like it's so it starts off strong and it is fun i don't want this to be over there's six it's a six part of it did you not listen no how long are they oh i'm sorry they're about 30 minutes so you still have 15 minutes i waited two days to finish it sure did sure did um but then last night i was like you know what nicole you want to watch these so let's just watch them and I

think I'm like halfway through I texted Pally I was like this montage of you I don't want to give anything away but there's this montage that I enjoyed so much and then there's a fight scene I enjoyed so much and I told

him he just wrote back you're funny and I was him, he just wrote back, you're funny. And I was like, oh, no. But boy, it's great. Idris Elba, he's going to have a long career. Yeah, he's already got a long career. Listen, I think this is going to take him places. This is going to take him places. Stalker Channing is in it who are you fucking stalker channing rizzo from greece

the worst things i could do who did they play uh adam's uh mother oh cute yeah and there's a bowling through line that's great and you better believe that reminded me of my mom because my mom used to bowl and i was like how is sonic touching so close to home for me on all fronts oh my god i couldn't believe it i I was like, oh, my God. Because they have bowling in there? Well, my mom bowled, and she was like a serious bowler. And then Pally's whole hero's journey is like he wants to become a warrior. And Knuckles says warrior, but he means like the best bowler.

And I was like, man, my mom would have loved if I had become the best bowler. I love this. I'm having a great time. I can't wait to get back in and finish the episodes. How much is Sonic in it? Like not at all? Just the first episode, I'm pretty sure. Interesting.

Yeah. And it's pretty cute. Knuckles and Tails are in it for the first episode, but then this is really Knuckles' story. This is Knuckles' hero's journey where Knuckles is going to learn a lesson by the end. And I think the lesson he's going to learn is he doesn't have to be so aggressive. Which is the lesson I need to learn

I can't believe how much I've cried over this franchise oh my god I was trying to articulate to someone like why I love Sonic so I'm truly crying about why I love Sonic and I was just like I to someone like why I love Sonic. So I'm truly crying. You are crying. About why I love Sonic so much.

And I was just like, I just don't slow down sometimes. And it's hard. And sometimes I am so aggressive. It's hard. And these little aliens are teaching me. Yeah. Thank God for sonic and his friends oh my god and i know the third movie is done i don't know if we're getting a fourth movie but i'm like if there's a fourth movie i would really like to be amy rose she's girl sonic yeah my God. We gotta see girl Sonic. Right?

Let me be her. Please. Oh my God. I really, I can't believe how, like I just, tears started falling. Yeah.

You got really emotional there. Oh my goodness. Yeah. It's great. I'll be humiliated if that's not the lesson he learns at the end. And I preemptively cried over nothing. I can't imagine what else he'd be learning yeah he's pretty aggressive but boy i've been having a nice time yeah that's fun oh is there anything you've been watching that you've sobbed over not that i've sobbed over. Oh, okay. I finished watching the Anne Hathaway movie with the boy band.

God, what is it called? It's the Anne Hathaway movie. There's an Anne Hathaway movie about a boy band? The idea of you. The idea of you. Jordan turned off her camera and is just piping in uh coming in hot just in the darkness sorry um wait what's it called again the idea of you which is about a bad title because that's why it was not in my head because it doesn't relate to the movie at all um it's about anne hathaway

takes her teen daughter to coachella and they meet this boy band that's kind of like One Direction and a meet and greet. And then the, the lead singer of that boy band has the hots for Anne Hathaway who just turned 40 and he's like 24 years old and he's trying to like pursue her. And she's like, I'm too old for you. And he's like, I don pursue her. And she's like, I'm too old for you. And he's like, I don't care. And she's like,

these tattoos. I'm so sorry to interrupt. The tattoos on this man are funny. They're pretty funny. It's a ladder and a sad dog. Yes. Oh my God. Okay.

So it's like a little rom-com action. It's a rom-com action and really well done. Michael Showalter directed it and i was like i'm genuinely enjoying this like it wasn't like even like oh this is cute and cheesy i was like this is a really good movie i just no notes i love no notes maybe i'll get all up in there and see all of you oh jordan said it's a fan fiction about one direction slash harry styles that oh we're like i get it mom is like oh i took my child and harry styles picked me out of the audience and loved me it also like there's a part where like their pictures get blasted everywhere because

they are like having a love affair and of course the paparazzi are gonna find them and people are like ew she is old gross what is she doing with and halfway i know truly like she looks amazing he's so lucky like if you want them to talk cast judy dench that would be pretty you know drastic but that's i'm not saying judy dench is unattractive i'm just saying that's you get him something to talk about but i think they're trying to make it sound like they're making it seem like it doesn't matter like if you're an older woman they don't care they just hate you. And that is what happened with Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles.

When they started dating, people were like ripping her to shreds. And she's really attractive. Yeah, she is hot. But people were like, ew, gross, you're robbing the cradle. What is he doing with her? Doesn't he know he's like, he can have any woman he wants and he wants her and like that sucks wow i would be so sad if people publicly said that about my partner they can have anybody they want and they chose nicole i'd be like oh my god yeah that's mean

i don't understand why people are so mean on the internet. And like, I don't understand why they feel the need to like say things. So mean. Yeah. And it has nothing to do with them either. No, because Harry Styles isn't going to date you. Yeah, it wasn't like you or. Imagine Harry Styles was like, all right, Bridget from Boston or Olivia Wilde. There was a funny moment in the movie where

a mom goes up to Anne Hathaway and is like, my daughter has loved August Moon, which is the name of the boy band. That's funny. They loved August Moon since they were 10, and now that you're dating the lead singer, she's devastated.

That's really funny. It's like, but your daughter wasn't, what? Your daughter didn't have a chance. Well, that's why some people stay single publicly and then don't tell any, like, and they have, like, relationships privately because they're like, people's parasocial relationships will be broken

and then they won't feel like they have a chance. Gotta think that they could possibly bump into me and maybe date me so wild i'm always surprised at the like the thought of anyone wanting to date me let alone a famous person like famous they don't want none of this was there a famous person when you were younger that you were like diesel i thought vin diesel would zoom on over in his mazda rxx rx8 and open the passenger door let me in and we would ride off into the sunset together wow yeah yeah i loved vin My God. What about you? Hmm.

I mean, my TV crush was Patrick Stewart from Star Trek Next Generation. But I didn't think he would come scoop me up in his Starship Enterprise. Well, he's in a spaceship. That's, like, really fanciful. Yeah. He was on Earth. Maybe. Yeah. really fanciful yes maybe yeah but i don't know if i had such a crush on a celebrity that was like oh man i just if only we met each other also patrick swayze oh my god. I know in Ghost, it is not Whoopi Goldberg. Wait, yeah, it's Patch. So when, what is it?

It's like Whoopi and Demi Moore like holding hands. I was like, ooh. Yeah. Oh my goodness. And then it becomes Patrick Swayze. I was like, oh my God, like this is so hot. And then that scene where like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze like fuck after pottery. I was like, oh my God.

I remember being little, being like, I would love for him to do that to me but like I don't want clay in me like I they didn't seem to wash their hands yeah I mean great point thank you thank you I like I thought about it so much as a kid I was like what why wouldn't they wash their hands? They're both dirty. You just let clay dry up on your titties? It's very dry and caked in there. Yeah, that's nasty. That is nasty. Wait, Judith, Jordan, did you guys have celebrity crushes growing up?

Ooh, Jordan's got a little smile on that face. Yeah, what's funny is like, I actually wrote them down at a doc. Oh. Oh. I thought there was like that many um but and i had both male and female like those who stood out to me um i there's a movie called kid in king arthur's court and kate winslet um is in it and she's very young in it and she

looks beautiful in it. And I was like, it was very much a moment of like, I don't know if I want to be with you or be or like just hang out with you. But my big crushes were I love Jake Ryan from 16 Candles. Okay. I don't know him. I loved Benny the Jet Rodriguez from The Sandlot. Okay. I don't know him.

I loved Benny the Jet Rodriguez from The Sandlot. Okay. And my number one, and I hope to meet him one day because it'd be really funny, is Jay Hernandez from that crazy beautiful movie with Kirsten Dunst. Oh, I think he's so cute. But the one that I was obsessed with who completely broke my heart was River Phoenix. And when I found out that he passed away, was like so devastated yeah yeah judith um for me even though i didn't watch a lot of home improvement but i think it was his hair it was his hair um and then the yeah the kid from sandlot i definitely was like that's my guy um the bailey so yeah those two also michelle rodriguez in the fast

and the furious is so hot there's a scene in the auto body shop that i was like oh it's nice i can't well i feel bad mine mine was just an old man i don't have you just only have one though you don't have another one i mean i loved patrick stewart growing up i was like you better serve me that ball head beat me up captain picard but you don't have another one i really can't think of one not even simba oh yeah oh yeah we're talking cartoons i had many cartoon crushes i was gonna say you guys have talked about it before you you guys had tons of cartoon crushes which i think i do think that is allowed as a as a child because we're watching so many cartoons just like we we talked about it was like the fox in um the robin hood

oh yeah the robin hood yeah fox one fox yeah i think it was i think it was robin hood yeah i think it's robin hood um i liked fern gully oh yes the crystal was so hot. Yeah. And then Zach. He had big old feet. Both of them were hot. Big old feet. And he's like stomping around. I was like, yeah! Wait, have we talked about Liar Liar? I mean, you have many times, yeah.

On this show? Yes. Okay. But you can talk about Liar Liar more. No, it's fine. It's fine but you can talk about it later more no it's fine every time i don't think so but i was just like oh i'm gonna rock i'm gonna watch fern gully when i get through with knuckles and then i was like oh and then last night i was like i'm gonna watch liar liar but then i started watching knuckles so that's my cue right now uh finish knuckles and then watch fern gu and then Liar Liar.

Wait, have you watched? Have you seen it? No. This is, oh, okay. This is why it's coming up. Because last night I went to dinner with someone who also hadn't seen it. And I was like, how have you not seen Liar Liar? Will you please watch it and let me know if you think it's as funny as I think it is?

Okay. Yeah. There's this really funny part when he's in an elevator he gets down and goes it was me and i gotta know you think it's funny and then there's an airplane scene that's really funny and then a courtroom scene that's really funny and then he has sex with someone and the scene after that's really funny um and then there's a scene with a man on the street that's really funny okay let me know if you think all of those scenes are funny did you get them got it locked in i wrote them all down i will let you know oh i was watching sonic with a friend and we were talking and at one point i said to him i was like wait do you understand what's going on and they were like nicole this is a children's movie of course i understand what's going on and

i was like oh my god i just didn't want you to miss anything and I feel like I just described liar liar like I am a child to you I mean kind of and then this happens and then this and then they go under here and then this happens listen music is a whimsicality and we should all be watching them and I love movie theaters i love the movies wait do you guys have a movie that's like the funniest to you like what's your what's the one movie house guest absolutely hilarious house okay that's very funny it's such a funny movie sinbad is so fun he is in his element um it's really great but also liar liar is really funny i do love white chicks white chicks is so funny white chicks is so funny oh my goodness oh scary movie and scary movie too are also very funny.

Also, not another teen movie is also very funny. Yeah. All those parody movies are very funny. Oh boy. Oh boy. I love to laugh. I love to laugh. should we do a quiz yeah unless you got something you want to get off your chest

no is there anything weighing heavy on your heart no i just are you sure i really feel like there's not something that you Anything weighing heavy on your heart? No, I just. Are you sure? I really feel like the way you ask. There's not something that you have been waiting to tell me and you haven't told me and now is a good time for you to tell me? You just sound so accusatory every time you bring. I'm not pointing fingers. I am just asking as a friend, is there something that is on your heart that has been weighing down heavy on you that you would like to tell me today on Tuesday?

Oh, my God. All right. Let's pick one food per question and then BuzzFeed will tell us which animal we most embody. Okay, great. Oh, boy. So stressful. Why is it stressful? Unless you don't have anything to tell me.

But it seems like it's stressful because you might have something to tell me today on Tuesday. I don't. Okay. Okay. Pick one food per question and we'll tell you which animal you most embody warning this quiz might make you feel quite ravenous raven oh no ravenous yeah yeah that was humiliating oh my gosh

steak salad fried chicken sandwich salmon dumplings ooh I know what you're picking you love that salmon I do love salmon

but also I think I talked about this before now you have bigger you have to ask where it came from all the time was this wild caught is there mercury in this so they could just lie to you and be like no there's no mercury and we found it right in the river damn yeah so shara there's no one to stop them from lying to you they could just be serving you a plate of mercury you would never know i don't like the look of this fried chicken sandwich but i love a fried chicken sandwich so i'm gonna pick a fried chicken sandwich oh i am hungry. What's next? Cheeseburger. Ramen. Donuts.

Caprese sandwich. Ooh, you better believe that cheeseburger looks fucking good. It does look really good. I'm going to eat that. They were right. This is making me ravenous. Ravenous. I think I'm going to pick ramen.

It's very filling. I do like ramen. I like the big chunkums. Eat something. Cupcakes. Cheese board. A croissant. Steak.

What a weird array. Like what category is this? Yeah, I mean, I'm clearly going with a steak. Everything else is so dainty. I like croissants. Really? I do. I like that. I don't know.

You pull them apart. It's like a little activity. Oh, it is like a little activity. They're pretty flaky. Keep going. Pancakes. Cake. They're pretty flaky. Keep going. Pancakes. Cake. Avocado toast with egg.

Uh-oh. Paella? Mm-hmm. You got it. I said that right? You sure did. Oh, thank you. I'm going to say pancakes.

Mm. Mm. Remember when I thought that we had pancakes with pure maple syrup? And you were like, it's not. You just like it because it's sweet. Rocked my socks off. And I still think about it. It was so thin and sugary.

And you're like, I can't believe you get your maple syrup. And I'm like, why do you think that? Wait, can you look up quickly the difference between like fake maple syrup and pure maple syrup? you look up quickly the difference between like fake maple syrup and pure maple syrup so fake ones are like log cabin aunt jemima mrs butterworth and then the other ones are i can't remember they're all in like uh like clear containers or like jugs yeah i feel like ours was out of a jug. Maybe. Okay, can you look up if real maple syrup is more sugary than fake? Where did you go?

Africa. South Africa. Oh, yes. We were in South Africa and you're like, wow, they have real maple syrup here. I was like, I don't think they have maple syrup trees but they could have got it imported that's true yeah

let's see it won't say does it taste more sugary than fake oh yeah like the fake the fake you can so I only do real maple syrup is it sugary? and one you can, so I only do real maple syrup. Is it sugary? And one you can, yeah, I mean, it's, it's a maple syrup, but the fake one tastes very

different than the real. And also the real is a lighter color and it's a little bit thinner where fake maple syrup is a darker color, a lot more sugary and it's thick. I feel like this was thin. Maybe we have real maple syrup i don't know if i've ever had real maple syrup and that's why i was like i've never had syrup like this to be fair real maple syrup in the stores is expensive so if people are on a budget you're not getting real maple syrup because it could be anywhere from like eight to 16 bottles. Oh, my God.

It's always in a glass bottle. Yeah. Well, Sashir, when you get back, we're going to go to the store. We're going to get some pancake mix and some real maple syrup. And we're going to have a taste test. And you're going to tell me if you think that tastes like South African real maple syrup. It's going to be like a Pepsi challenge. For sure.

And I'll probably forget about it. So don't worry. You probably will never have to do it. No, I can't. I'm going to remind you. I do want to do this. I'm going to have avocado toast with egg. Okay. You know what to do avocado toast with egg. Okay.

You know what to do. Pesto salad. That's the pasta. Fuck. What is wrong with me? What is happening? Okay, I think I got thrown off because I saw tomatoes and they're like not cooked up. They're not sun dried. And then there's like not cooked up. They're not sun-dried.

And then there's like lettuce in there. Yeah, yeah. It looks like a weird pasta salad. It does, yeah. Pesto pasta. Pork chops. So dumb. What's panzanilla? That looks yummy.

I don't know. It's like tomatoes. Is that like pieces of bread? Pieces of bread? That looks like bird food. I like it. Like little hunks of bread? It better work.

It's made with crusty bread, fresh tomatoes, basil, and tangy vinaigrette. I'm into it. I would do it. Ribs. I'm taking ribs. I love ribs. Did i'm taking ribs i love ribs did you know that i love ribs did you know i didn't i don't think i did oh my god i love ribs and my favorite ribs are from this restaurant in times square new york called Virgil's. Oh, okay. They are the best ribs you will ever have and I know it's wild to travel to Times Square

for ribs, but when I say these ribs are hands down the best ribs I have ever had, they truly are. I believe you. They truly are. They truly are. I'm going to have some pesto pasta. Oh, not pesto salad? I believe you. They truly are. They truly are. They truly, truly are.

I'm going to have some pesto pasta. Oh, not pesto salad? Some pesto pasta salad. Pick one last dish. Sushi. Pizza. Popsicles? Cheesecake.

Huh. What are you going to pick? Pizza. Me too too i love pizza pizza pizza i haven't had pizza in forever i feel like i eat it all the time i mean you probably do i'm a dog Your inner animal is a dog. Dog. Can I pet that dog? You're friendly, optimistic, and adventurous. You're always there for the people you love. Okay. I like that.

Oh, I'm a leopard. Oh. Your inner animal is a leopard. You're powerful, independent independent and mysterious you always stand up for what you believe in you know leopards always standing up for what they believe they truly are i mean anytime i watch someone speak at congress it's a leopard just standing up for what they believe in and trying to get bills passed. That's so funny. Leopards standing up for what they believe in.

Hey, sure. Hey, whatever. Why not? Thanks, BuzzFeed. I think I do give off golden retriever energy. It's pretty upsetting. I don't really like that. You're like happy to please.

Keep the energy up. I'm happy to be here and it's really annoying. What if you're, you give me, you do give off dog energy. I don't know if it's golden retriever. Oh my God.

What kind of, am I a pit bull? No. Okay. Maybe like a golden doodle. Oh my God. I could be a golden doodle. I would love to be a golden doodle.

Curly hair, long legs. Come on. Like, you know how people say that the owners are sometimes resemble their pet like you do remind me of Clyde like I was like oh yeah Clyde and you fit well because Clyde has the poopy tail and you dye yes Clyde's tail and I'm like oh yeah that's like that's what you would want if you were a dog yeah absolutely he's always like excited Like ears are always perked and just like, like excited for what,

what new adventure is going to happen. And I feel like that's you too. You're right. I posted a picture of Clyde today on my Instagram. We were sitting in the backseat of a car and he was just like happy to be in the car. Like he couldn't stop smiling. And I was like,

that's me. I'm excited to get in the car. We got somewhere. absolutely sometimes i'm exhausted by how excited i get should we answer questions quandary's queries yes let's hi nicole and sashir and jordan and judith long time listener first time emailer i feel like i'm in a tricky situation i'm in my early 30s and i spend a lot of time with my siblings and basically feel like I have no social life of my own. My older sibling and I own a business together. We live in separate apartments in the same house and we basically share a car. Recently, I've started to feel like maybe it's too much time spent together and I

don't have a life of my own. Everyone thinks of us as a package and recently I've been feeling like I want to have my own life that includes socializing without them. I moved to the same city as my sibling about a year ago because of the owning a business thing together and haven't made friends on my own. It kind of became a problem like almost 10 years ago, the roles were reversed. They moved to my city where I lived and we got an apartment together and they started hanging out with me and my friends and things kind of changed. an apartment together and they started hanging out with me and my friends and things kind of changed it felt like such a little i i felt like such a little sister when i hung out with my sibling in a group setting like all they did was roast me and tell embarrassing stories about me

and kind of act like an asshole in general even if they didn't do that the whole time it didn't matter to me because it uh it felt like it was the only thing it wasn't very fun someone literally told me once they wish we could be better friends, but she didn't want to hang out with my sibling. And my sibling has such severe FOMO and I have such terrible Irish Catholic guilt that whenever I try to hang out with my friends, without them, they'd always end up inviting themselves. And I'd say yes, because I felt too guilty to say no.

And then I usually end up not having a good time because I was so anxious about having to compensate for my sibling. The only times I really had fun in those years were when my sibling was out of town for a few months. I still lived in that city after they moved. So all of this is a very long way to ask, how do I gently tell my sibling I want to spend more time socializing on my own without them? Is there a way to gently tell someone that I obviously do enjoy spending time with them because why else would I open a business with them but I need space of my own where I can be my own person? Also, how do you recommend someone make friends in their early thirties in a new city, especially someone who works weekends and whose only coworkers are their sibling and the cat? I don't have any hobbies right now besides TV and books, but want to try new things.

So literally any suggestion would be a start. Thanks so much for any advice you may have. Thank you for reading my long email. I really love the show so much. And my repo and your friendship. Talk about goals. That's nice. Ooh,

we, I feel like it's tough because it's like a friend and a sibling and I feel like and a co-worker so it's like oh no I mean and it sucks that you've tried to hang out

without your sibling and then they just invite themselves anyway I'd be like oh just tell them you're hanging out with just a friend I mean you could do dirty and not tell them when you're hanging out with somebody that's bad though yeah and they live in the same building so they could the sibling can be like i saw you leave your house where were you going where were you going why didn't you bring me um have them listen to this episode of the podcast and they'll be like that's crazy a

sibling that won't leave a sibling alone couldn't imagine can't be me wow um i do you know it sucks, but I think you sit them down and you're like, hey, our lives are so intertwined. And especially if you're like single, you'd be like, I'm just like I'm really trying to like go out and like meet different people and see if I like, you know, can strike up a relationship. relationship and i don't necessarily want you involved from the jump of that because i want you know to be able to introduce you to people that i meet later on and show them how wonderful you are um i think that's fine okay yeah because if it's like yeah from a dating standpoint point you can't really flirt with your sibling there like hey i need to go meet new people with your sibling there like hey i need to go meet new people without you for friendship purposes and dating purposes so um you know i'm gonna do that and maybe you can even be like from a business standpoint we spend so much time together and we live in the same building maybe it would be good for us to have like some time apart

because God forbid we start hating each other because we're around each other all the time during work and social time that we, you know, ruin our business relationship. Yeah. And also like heavy, heavy focus on like, I don't want to ruin this relationship by spending too much time together also making friends and stuff take a class like i feel like we say that all the time but i truly feel like that take a class like i mean you know i do pole dancing or whatever but if you like archery or painting or sculpting like there if there is a thing that you like somebody else will like it yeah exactly yeah and then you know there is something to like if you've made plans and your siblings like oh what are

you doing tonight you're like oh i've made plans with my friend john and they're like oh i could come it's like actually i made plans with just john and i don't feel like going back and forth to be like you're coming and see if that's okay so I'll see you tomorrow I'll see you at work I'll see you at home I'll see you in my building I live in yeah yeah yeah and then maybe ask them do you like do you don't feel like you want to meet other people and stuff like that yeah because do they have friends it sounds like they have friends but um when this person who's right who wrote to us hangs out with their sibling and their friends they just go yes they roast them okay yeah yeah so like ideally your sibling should be fine because they do have friends so hopefully it's

not a thing where they need to be around you all the time it might go better than you think i think so um but let us know how it goes please yeah and if we ruined your business we take no responsibility. Yes. We didn't answer your question. We were talking about somebody else. Next one. Solved. Hey, guys.

I have a quick question for you. Long-time listener and you guys answered a question of mine a couple episodes ago. I have a question about wedding gifts. I feel like a couple of different opinions on what you're supposed to give at a wedding, like you're supposed to cover your head, like, for whatever they're paying for the meals, like $100-ish. I just wanted to know if you guys kind of thought the same, or does it depend on the friendship? Like, if it's a really, really good friend, do you give more, or do you give more of a sentimental gift instead of just money?

Another reason why I asked a friend of mine was just a bridesmaid in a wedding. in a wedding and the bridal shower gift donated money to the bachelorette party all that stuff and then she didn't give a gift

at the actual wedding because she said that she gave enough throughout the course of like the pre-wedding stuff never been a bridesmaid so I know that was also normal but i had been to many um bridal showers i didn't know if that was enough of a gift to kind of give somebody thanks so much appreciate the help wait i've never even heard of the like uh to cover your

head for the dinner or whatever but like that, that makes sense. Yeah. I haven't heard that either, but also I'm trying to think, do I give bridal shower gifts? Is that a thing? Oh wait, was that the question? Bridal shower gifts? Cause she was saying because her friend went to a,

like the bridal party paid, like put in for the bachelorette party and, and also other expenses up for their own then they didn't give a wedding gift because they're like i already pitched in enough and then she was like something about like giving a bridal shower gift is does that count as the wedding gift oh i see uh i mean additional i didn't i didn't know there was bridal shower gifts i didn't either i'm like i thought it was like a party to be like you're getting married but yeah like baby showers i know those have gifts yeah i'm not even sure i've been to many bridal showers so i don't actually know me either traditionally um the bride-to-be will have a bridal shower um and usually it's mostly just whatever woman whatever women are invited to the

wedding they will go to the bridal shower and they will give gifts and it's usually from the registry so there's there's a confusing thing because i had i recently had a conversation with my cousins getting married i sent about 50 dollars worth of whatever was on the registry and to me that was my cap that's all i could afford and then my mom was like oh but you have to give like a gift at the wedding i was like why am i doing a bridal gift and a wedding gift and And I'm like, when do I get gifts? Like what? Like what? So, but traditionally, yes, at the bridal shower,

she gets gifts and it's just like a baby shower. She sits there, opens the gifts. Thank you for the teapot. Next. Thank you for the toaster. Next. Yeah. Sounds like a racket.

Everyone's getting married to get gifts done. It is a racket. Maybe I'll just. That's why my favorite episode of sex in the city is when when carrie sends the woman her registry and it's the pair of shoes that the like the kid destroyed and the carrie was like i'm not getting married anytime soon i deserve my own crap so sorry to call no no no it's fine um that's so wild that you can just get what like a whole house full of shit what do you do with your old shit throw in the trash because that's when you were single so think about it the where it stems from is you, most times back in the day, people were not living together before they got married.

So you would house them with things they would need in their home after they got married. So it's the same thing with my parents. They weren't living together. They got married, got all this stuff for their new apartment and place together once they got married. That was the old traditional way. Now you have people who are living together for years and like who knows they might just want like fancier like utensils or maybe they do want that 500 toaster which to me is crazy to put on a registry yeah to expect somebody to pay 500 for a toaster we're making bread hot like five hundred dollars is too much it is too much oh my god yeah research shows a hundred dollars to a thousand dollars is the average that's such

a large average so any yeah so i wouldn't say average but anywhere and here's what i would do fifty dollars for the bridal shower, 50 for the wedding. That's it. That's a wrap. I do think it is. I mean, the woman who didn't give the wedding gift, but if she was like involved in every inch of this bridal shower,

the bachelorette, all that shit. Yeah, man, take a break. Don't buy me a blender. Like you already did enough. I also don't don't buy me a blender like you already did enough i also don't know i guess some some couples do send out individual thank you cards for gifts so part of me was gonna be like oh but like would they even notice like do they know exactly who's buying them stuff or like who came to the wedding and buy a gift but i guess maybe some people do they do because you know who you invited and you know when you open 16 presents and there was 20 people there

well the new thing today is with how like tech savvy all these registries are you have to put your name and your email and a return address to what you've purchased. So, yes, they will see exactly what you got them, how much you spent, etc. Yeah, it's crazy. It's like getting married today is wild. Yeah, that is wild. I didn't know people were knowing how much I was paying for shit. I don't like that.

Yeah. I like your idea, though. The $50 on the bridal shower, $50 on the wedding. Yeah, don't worry about it, because that $50 goes to their honeymoon. And that's more important than a blender. Something should be separate.

Some other tradition some other traditions back in the day is any money that you got from your like the day of your wedding from guests actually would go to whatever parents paid for the wedding which most times would be the brides so like my parents only got like a little bit of their money. The rest they gave to their parents who covered stuff. Whoa. Yeah. Weddings are nuts. Why are we doing this anymore? So the guests are paying the parents that like something like the guests ask for a wedding. Why?

I didn't want to come. I had to buy a dress. I had a trap. Like, what are we doing? Yeah. I had to buy a dress. I had a trap. Like, what are we doing? Yeah. And some traditions, they pin money to the bride and groom. I think at the first.

Yeah, I've seen that. Well, actually, I'm like, spray me with it. But yeah, but. I mean, I think best bet is to have a backyard wedding where you don't pay any money. You say, B-Y-O say byof bring your own food uh you got one jug of punch that's the wedding i'm having when the when the jug is done that's a wrap we all gotta go home there's no chairs, nothing.

There's only blankets. There's no chair rental. That's so funny. That's the wedding I'm having. I'm gonna recoup all of the money I didn't spend. That's perfect. I think I really think the dream scenario is you go down to the courthouse and then you just have a party afterwards.

Just invite people, get pizza and you're done. I'm not getting pizza. You're gonna BY gonna byof you're gonna bring your own food yeah you can get the ladle in the jug i also love how you pick the most colorful drink just like a red yep red kool-aid i love red kool-aid is there any water here no there's only no people be so mad they're like i had to bring my own food yeah dinner's at eight bring your own food

you're just you're just hosting a potluck at this point that's all it is Yeah, dinner's at eight. Bring your own food. You're just hosting a potluck at this point. That's all it is. Well, there's going to be Postmates hour. So right before I walk down the aisle, order your Postmates. If you want your Postmates. So in case you didn't want to bring something from home. Do they eat at discounted on the Postmates?

Hell no. Who would that serve? code on the Postmates? Hell no. Who would that serve? That would serve Postmates. I'm not Ms. Postmate. That was on your own dime. I think I'm going to have a really fun wedding. I can't wait. Oops. You need something else to have a jug? That's all we got.'s it that's it no water um should we answer one more i guess people could bring things to add to the jug so it won't get low so it'll just be

yeah different juices you can bring water or you can bring more kool-aid oh and if you bring water you have to bring packs and if you're bringing sugarless packs you have to bring sugar because it's so like the whole time and don't don't switch up the flavor don't get wild i don't want no raspberry oh i love kool-aid did you know that i love no i didn't there was a time in my life where my dad at one point turned like he grabbed me by the shoulders and was like you'll have to just drink water yeah like truly please uh it was strawberry kiwi kool-aid and i i was like i am getting water and he's like but you're not you're putting sugar in the water. And I was like, no, the sugar is in this Kool-Aid,

so I cannot over-sugar-fy it. He just didn't get it. But you'll see. He's dead, and I'm going to have the wedding of my dreams. No one can tell me shit. I'll have a jug. I feel like your wedding favors would be packets of Kool-Aid. Well, if I'm buying the Kool-Aid, you think I'm buying something for something?

No. No, I don't think. I think you're going to have the most. There's no wedding favors at this wedding. There's nothing. I'm not giving you shit. Oh, my goodness. Hey, Nicole.

Hey, Sasheer, Kimmy, Jordan. And Judith. I desperately need your help. So I've had the same best friend for about six years now. We met when we both had just moved to LA and we were both trying to figure ourselves out and bonded right away. Her life started going off the rails. She left her girlfriend. So I offered her to stay with me on my couch until she found a place. My roommate ended up moving out. So she moved into the spare room she got into

an extremely toxic relationship which ended up consuming both of our lives and i couldn't escape it it got to the point where i lost friends because all i could do was talk about the crazy things he did he broke into the house he would sit outside and wait for her to come out crazy stuff anyway i supported her through it and i ended up finally convincing her to leave him fast forward she moves to another state where she finds a new boyfriend i visit her multiple times a year she never came to visit me she got engaged about two weeks ago and sent me a message it stated that we met when things were bad for her and things will never be bad for her again so she doesn't need me in her life anymore and doesn't want to continue the relationship she also stated it was also

because we don't have the same values and we're on different paths her old self would have thought this was a betrayal but the new her has decided she doesn't want me in her life and she blocked me on everything so i couldn't respond i think this is so insane i can't get over it and i can't believe her fiance isn't alarmed by this plus she doesn't have any other friends that aren't his that aren't his friends. Anyway, I could really use some advice. I feel so used. She took so much time and energy from my life and then

threw me out like trash. If this happened to you, how would you cope? Because it's not like she left room for me to get closure and talk to her. Oh my God, this person's garbage i wonder if you remind them of their messy time like when things were bad and like crazy and wild and

traumatic maybe she's like i don't want that to come bleed into my new life even though this writer didn't cause any of that stuff maybe she's like you know too much i have a new a new person in my life new fiance they don't even know my old friends and i don't want any stories to bleed into it maybe they're just like new new location new me and you you know too much already yeah i love how i jumped immediately to that person's garbage and you're like whale i mean that's not that's not not a garbage move yeah that's not like it still sucks like hell but i i could see that's like me best case scenario in this thing. Like maybe they're just like,

I don't even want to think about any of that stuff. And you make me think about it. Yeah. I think maybe it's probably good that you like, what closure do you need? Like other, like, I know you're like,

I would like to continue the friendship. I was there for you. I would like it to be reciprocated. But it's like this person's literally saying, I'm not capable of that. And I think when people say, I cannot do this, you have to believe them, even though it's really, really hard. But her being like, I can't even talk to you because the new, and it's like, if you have to dissect yourself into old me, new me, that's not real uh all of you is you

um i think once that starts happening like that she's telling you i simply cannot i cannot be with this person i was i cannot be with this person i am now so i can't talk to you i think that's the closure you need she's not capable of a friendship yeah and it sounds like maybe the relationship you had before wasn't that healthy in the first place because like i've had friends in bad situations and like like like stressful relationships but i've never been so like helping them so much that i'm also wrapped it in up in it like if your other friends like wanted to stop talking about you because all you could talk about was her relationship that's a problem like it felt like it feels like maybe it was just

like too much of a whirlwind that you got caught up in and it might be for the best that you guys aren't close anymore because what happened again and i recommend so i started this book, so I don't know how good it is by the end, but it's called Codependency No More. And it talks about how some people are fixers and they become addicted to fixing things in people's lives. And that is a form of codependency. And I know that sometimes I'm like, oh, I can help this person where it's like i don't know if you if i can and it's not my job to um so maybe this is like a nice clean start where you can examine how you interact with people and how you are affected by people's actions because why not why who can like we can make this about her but we can make this about you and how you're going to grow from this.

Look at us. We turn that around. Look at that. Yeah. What an opportunity for growth. And sounds like this person caused a lot of stress in your life before. a lot of stress in your life before and the fact that they are not even giving you a choice to interact with how stressful they can or can't be might be a gift so yeah yeah and you don't want to fuck a gift horse in the mouth what's that phrase um um i don't think the word fuck is it

i don't know what the word is but you want to punch a gift horse in the mouth you want to finger a gift horse in the mouth you don't want to put your toes in a gift horse mouth what is it what is it you don't want to turn down what is it tough yeah i feel like gift horse and mouth are in there for sure but i don't know what you're doing or not doing but like what do you do with the mouth you're putting stuff in you're doing it up you're doing stuff to that gift horse don't look a gift horse in the mouth oh no it's just look oh because you have to if you're inspecting the teeth of a horse you're like not sure if it's a good horse or not or if it's like

healthy or not but if it was a gift it's like an insult to look at the teeth of the horse's mouth because it's like you should just accept it it's a gift i think that's what that means yeah that's what it means you shouldn't criticize a gift even if you don't like it very much there we go wow wow i mean honestly don't fuck a gift horse in the mouth i think it's i mean basically you shouldn't do that either yes you also could be it's a gift don't put your dick into a gift that's just rude right imagine someone give to you with a box of potatoes you can't just pull your dick out and put it in there a box of potatoes who's present gifting boxes of potatoes i don't know someone from idaho here's our idaho treat

oh wow all right we did it we did it if you want to give us any gifts from my people. Oh, wow. All right. We did it. We did it. If you want to give us any gifts, you can email Nicole and Sasheer at gmail.com or call or text or leave a voice message at 424-645-7003. And if you're looking to give a gift,

we have merch at podswag.com slash best friends. We also have transcripts for our new episodes. You can check them out on our show page at pod swag.com slash best friends. We also have transcripts for our new episodes. You can check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, a gift to us would be you not forgetting to rate review and subscribe. That's the easiest way to support us and give us gifts. Well, from inside the present,

it's been nicole from on top of the horse it's been nicole wow i feel rambunctious today bye Bye. Bye.