Betrayal - EP 11 - Andrea

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

The “Mormon Madoff” conned everyone, including his own wife.  If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail]. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang, we've got some exciting news for you. You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right? Well this week we're taking it to the next level. The one, the only, Catherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture Eastus. That's right, the queen of comedy herself. Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful. Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture.

Don't miss Catherine Hahn on Las Culturas. Listen to Las Culturas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Predenti. And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadston. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career. That's where we come in.

Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert Mori Tahiripour. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. into a Matthews state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Pretty soon up over the hill, I saw a caravan of dark vehicles with dark tinted windows. They're all in FBI or US Marshals jackets. They've got their sunglasses. They've got their weapons. And they come to my house. They ring the doorbell. I let them in.

I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything. Andrea Merriman came from money. A lot of money. As a kid, her family had a huge house, a vacation home in Hawaii, and even a private plane. We flew everywhere. We didn't do road trips. It was so my family to hop in the plane at midnight

and fly to Arizona for the weekend to enjoy the sun and then be back when school started on Monday. But if you met Andrea, you wouldn't know that's how she grew up. She's not flashy. She's hardworking and honest. Her parents raised her that way. We had jobs around the house. We didn't get allowance for it, or if we did, it was a dollar a week because my parents

wanted to teach us responsibility and accountability. Her family belonged to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Some people call it the Mormon Church, but that's not the name she uses. That's a name given to church members who are not of our faith. It's just a mouthful to say the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. From a young age, Andrea took her faith very seriously. When you're a child, they give you a ring and it says CTR on it. That stands for Choose the Right.

So part of the culture was to be obedient to good principles, doing well in whatever I attempted to do. And in her religious community, she felt empowered as a woman. The women around her were ambitious and well-educated. Many of them had both families and careers. My mom had a master's degree, and I remember going to my dad asking for help with homework. My dad would say I can totally help you but who really could help you the person who's

the smartest in our family is your mother. So I was raised that women could do and be anything. She was a straight-A student, a great athlete. She played three instruments and excelled at piano. Anything I did, I did to the best of my ability. When she got older, she took that determination to Brigham Young University, where she immediately got to work on building her future. My dad wanted me to be a lawyer,

and that's what I went to school thinking I would do. Along the way, she found a dream of her own. She wanted to start a career in advertising and public relations, and her work ethic extended outside the classroom. She got a job in her apartment complex. That's how she met Sean. He came into the office to pay his rent, and I processed that for him. She would see him around the building, but they never really talked before.

My roommates in my apartment were good friends with the guys in his apartment. People thought highly of him and his roommates, and they did fun things and seemed to be good people. Soon after they met in the office, Sean asked her out, and right away he impressed her. He knew she liked music, so for their first date, he took her to the symphony. After that, they started going out together college dates. He took me to the best restaurants, to concerts, and then he'd take you out into his BMW. He was always a very engaging, outgoing, charming person. On one date, she wore a pearl necklace.

Sean complimented her on it, and she told him it was borrowed from a friend. So a few days later, He just showed up at my door unexpectedly with a jewelry box. I opened it up, and it was a pearl necklace. And he said, any woman as beautiful as you should not have to borrow pearls.

I mean, that was what it was like to date Sean Merriman. I remember thinking, wow, all the other boys I've dated, if they tried to do these grand gestures or date this way, it would seem really cheesy and corny, but it works for Sean. And it was just like in the movies. Even though he had expensive taste, Sean didn't come from money. His dad was a construction of alcoholism, divorce, and he was one of the first members of his family

to go to college. Getting into college wasn't easy for Sean. He didn't have the grades, but he made up for it with his trademark charm. He started sending flowers to the woman in charge of admissions, and eventually he got admitted. He was proud of this story, and he always had fabulous stories to entertain people with. He was interested in things most college kids weren't.

He was into photography, he was into cars, he was into building things. Still, Sean didn't let his interests take over their relationship. We did everything that I loved. He knew that I loved the beach. He knew that I loved 80s music. He knew that I loved travel. And I thought that I was finding someone who believed

the way I did on everything. After a few months of dating, the two took a trip to California. And there, on the beach, he got down on one knee. Going through my head mostly was, wait, I'm only 22. I'm too young to do this. Andrea was still in school. She'd always planned to graduate, start a career, and then get married. But saying yes to Sean just made sense. I don't know that I thought he was the one. But I thought that he would be a great friend, great partner, great companion, great provider, great father. And am I going to find somebody just like him again if I pass this by?

I saw enough of those good qualities and the things that I wanted as part of my future. So when he proposed, I said yes. So they got married and graduated college, in that order. We were on a good course together. We were equally yoked as a couple to move forward and create the life of our dreams. Sean had a vision of moving to DC. He even interviewed with the CIA. He also considered getting an MBA at an Ivy League school. But ultimately, they decided to plant roots

in her home state of Colorado. We chose to move to Denver for my career. I got a job working for a government agency doing public relations for them. Sean came to love Denver and he found a great job at an investment firm. He had immediate success. So then he actually started being a stockbroker that fall. When it came to investing, Sean had a mind of his touch. And I will tell you from September to December, that quarter, he made $50,000.

And that was in 1990. That's a lot of money, especially right out of college. Sean was bringing home 200K a year. But that was the 90s. In today's money, that's the equivalent of $480,000 a year. And the money just kept coming. Other firms would reach out to him and say, hey, come and work for us. We'll give you a signing bonus.

And so he would take a 50, 60, 70, $80,000 signing bonus and go work for a different firm. He hopped from firm to firm for a few years. And then soon after they had their first child in 1993, Sean came to Andrea with a business idea. He came home from work and told me that he had some very wealthy, blue blood, old money clients in Kansas City that had been so impressed with the money management he had done for them that they had asked him to step back from his career as a stockbroker and manage their money privately for them.

She supported him 100%. So he made the leap and launched what became Market Street Advisors. It started with those Kansas City clients, but pretty soon he was investing for family, friends and neighbors too. And even in the madness of starting his own firm and finding new clients,

Sean made it a point to spend time with Andrea at the end of every day. He came home at night, had dinner with me, had great stories about trades that he'd made that day. He had no shortage of stories he could tell, conversations he could share, ideas that he had. Life was good for the Merrymans. Sean's investment firm was taking off,

and the two of them were living comfortably, more than comfortably even. The house got bigger, the cars got nicer. And for Andrea, there was only one thing missing, more kids. One of the things we talked about before we got married was that I wanted four to six children. He was like, oh, that's great. That's what I've always wanted.

They had another child, a baby girl, and Andrea was the happiest she'd ever been. When Sean got home after a long day at work, he didn't have the bandwidth to help with the babies. He was fine to play with the baby when he was home, etc. But he was not a hands-on, let me help bathe the baby, let me change diapers. And when she asked him about having a third kid, he was hesitant. She assured him she'd take on the responsibilities that he couldn't. And so I did everything, handled everything for the baby so that it wouldn't impact his life too much and I could have another child. And I continued to do everything and manage the kids

so that it didn't impact his life. By the time we had our fourth kid, I could count the number of dirty diapers on one hand that he had changed. It really became he was busy. He was working on his career. And I was the partner in the relationship who was focused on home and family. All in all, they had four kids together.

She was the homemaker, he was the provider, and she provided very well. It was the life she always wanted. Over time, Sean started to be more open about the life he wanted. I found out he didn't like dancing. He didn't like beaches. Let's go on a trip to California.

No, I hate the beach. What? Yeah, I hate the feel of sand between my toes. I'm not doing that. He started developing expensive new hobbies, ones that required him to travel. He was a big African safari guy. He would go to Cameroon and Tanzania and South Africa and Zimbabwe.

All over the world to hunt and go on safaris for animals and coincidentally, very wealthy people are engaged in those hobbies. He sold it as, well, I'm actually doing this for work to get more clients to build my business. These trips could be dangerous. One time when he returned from a safari in Ethiopia, Shana was acting strange. He was keeping his distance. And I said, why? And he said, I have got to go to the doctor.

He was worried he could have contracted something. He told Andrea a wild story. We were climbing a mountain and one of the people in the party slipped and he was gonna fall off a cliff. And so I reached down and I grabbed him and saved his life. But he and I both got cut up in the process. And I need to go and get tested to make sure I'm okay.

Thankfully Sean was negative. And even though the story was far-fetched, Andrea believed him. He had so many stories about saving people's lives or dramatic things. I used to tell him, if I didn't live with you and see that your life is true, I would never believe your life. What I didn't know was most of those stories were probably lies. Hey everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. We've got some exciting news for you. You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right?

Well this week we're taking it to the next level. The one, the only, Catherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture East S. That's right, the queen of comedy herself. Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful. Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture.

I feel some Sandra Bernhard in you. Oh my God, I would love it. I have to watch Lost. Oh, you have to. No, I know, I'm so behind. Catherine Honkin's thing. Oh, I'm really good at karaoke. What's your song? Yeah, what's your song?

Oh, I love a ballad. I felt Bjork's music. I just was like, who is this person? I gotta hawk this slalom, Lugui. Not hawk the slalom. I absolutely love it. It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it. It was somehow gorgeous.

Yee, my flock you hollam. Listen to Las Culturas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Pedente. And I'm Jeme Jackson-Gadsden. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions.

Like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed? Or, can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job? Girl, yes! Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Sanner. The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job

and the person who gets the job is usually who applies. Yeah, I think a lot about that quote. What is it? Like you miss 100% of the shots you never take? Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career. Without sacrificing your sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017 was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel de Lilla. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. And she paid the ultimate price. sent ad free, subscribe to the iHeart True Crime Plus channel, available exclusively on Apple podcasts.

As Andrea and Sean built a family together, Sean started to change. He was around less and less working at his investment firm. And when he wasn't working, he was taking extravagant hunting trips on his own. It became Sean's world, and sometimes that bothered her. But she was committed to him, no matter what. For a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you marry forever, and you make your choice, and then you love your choice and you figure out how to make it work. I was taught that pretty much the only reason you would ever divorce is if in the case of like physical abuse or something. Beyond that, you marry forever.

His behavior was a challenge, but not marriage ending. It wasn't anything that I would have divorced over. It was more, oh, I guess I'll make this work. And she really did want to make it work. There was still so much good in what they had together. I felt like we were very connected. We went on dates every weekend together. He would call me when he had down times at work,

once every morning and once or twice in the afternoon. He'd just call me to check in, see what I was doing, see how I was. And when he did have the time, she could see he was really trying. Especially as the kids got older, he became more involved. He led 50-mile hikes for their son's Boy Scout troop. He drove their daughter around on errands.

He joked with them, talked with them. And above all, he made sure his kids had everything they could ask for. All the things he didn't have growing up. My son played baseball and they won the championship of their league. So he bought a batting cage and pitching machine that he put in our backyard. We put in a pool, we put in a sport court

so that our kids would have a great fun place to bring their friends to. Sean wanted their kids to be cultured. He took them to museums around the world, and he even started their own private art collection. We ended up with a collection of Rembrandts that was worth quite a bit of money, and sculptures by Frederick Hart,

all kinds of things like that to make things beautiful and to help educate our children. The batting cages, the private courts, the Rembrandts, sure, it was a lot, but they could afford it. In Sean's hands, Andrea had watched their money multiply. I had watched our accounts slowly grow up to a million, and then I watched our accounts slowly grow up to a million. And then I watched our accounts slowly grow to three million. And then I watched my statement grow to total about $10 million. In the early 2000s, that was closer to $18 million.

Andrea also invested her own inheritance with Shawn's firm, everything she had saved, and everything she got from her parents. I had my own money. My parents had passed away at this point. And like all of his investment clients, I was getting, you know, monthly financial statements. Still, she wanted to make sure that they were being smart with their spending. I am very conservative financially. So my first goal was I want our home paid off. And so I remember, I think it was my 40th birthday,

he gave me the deed to our house and our house was paid off. And Sean kept making the house better and better. He ended up building a building behind our home that he called his shop. It was actually bigger than our home. His work office was in the top level and then the bottom was just cars and trophies. He had an Aston Martin, he had several Porsches,

a Ferrari, Mercedes sedans, BMWs, you name it. Shawn spent pretty much all his time in his shop, working on business or taking care of his cars. He would go out to his office from probably 7 a.m. to 5 p.m., come in, have dinner, and then he'd be like, oh, I'm gonna go out to my shop and do this. And then he'd come in at 10 at night. Andrea knew all that hard work was funding their lifestyle,

but she missed him. She wanted him around more. After 17 or so years of marriage, I said, we don't need more money. We have plenty for our needs and our wants and things we've never dreamed of. But we need you. And he just said, I can't, I've got to build my business. He'd spent 20 years prioritizing his work above everything else. He didn't know how to shift gears. Maybe he didn't want to.

So Andrea made peace with the fact that her husband would be around when he could be. I was kind of raised, if you look for the good in others, you will find it. If you're looking for bad things and looking to tear people down and to hate them, you'll find reasons for that too. He was gone a lot of the time, but when he was home,

he would be there for dinner and do other things with us. Now, I don't think any life is completely perfect, but it was a good life. March 17, 2009 was a really good day. It was St. Patty's Day. There is a little Irish in the Merriman side of the family, so I always tried to make it a fun day. I had gold coins and I made green pancakes and green milk for breakfast. As I sent my kids off to school,

I took fun photos of them dressed in their St. Patrick's Day attire. What I didn't know at the time was those were the last Merriman family photos that I would ever take. The next day, March 18th, unexpectedly, I was headed out on some errands. I dropped my youngest child off at daycare to have a babysitter while I quickly got some things done. And Sean called me as I was driving down the highway and he's like, what are you doing?

And I said, why? Do you need something? He said, well, actually, I was hoping to spend some time with you this morning. And I said, oh, well, I can turn around and I'll come and get you and you can do my errands with me. And he said, no, I need you to come home. So she turned the car around and went back to the house. He was waiting for her in the kitchen.

And he said, I've been running Market Street Advisors for the past 16 years, but I need you to know that every day when I got up and left and went to work and was gone all day, I was actually running a Ponzi scheme. Hey everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. We've got some exciting news for you. You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right? Well this week we're taking it to the next level.

The one, the only, Catherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture East S. That's right, the queen of comedy herself. Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful. Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture. I feel some Sandra Bernhard in you. Oh my god, I would love it. I have to watch Lost. Oh, you have to.

No, I know. I'm so behind. Catherine Honkin's thing. Oh, I'm really good at karaoke. And on camera, yeah, what's your song? Oh, I love really good at karaoke. And on camera, yeah, what's your song? Oh, I love a ballad. I felt Bjork's music. I just was like, who is this person?

I gotta hawk this slalom, Lil G. Not hawk the slalom. I absolutely love it. It was somehow Shakespearean when you said it. It was somehow gorgeous. Yee, my flock, you holland. Listen to Las Culturas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, I'm Gianna Pedenti. And I'm Jemei Jackson-Gadston. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions. Like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed? Or, can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job? Girl, yes! Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions.

Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Sanner. The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job and the person who gets the job is usually who applies. Yeah, I think a lot about that quote. What is it like you miss 100% of the shots you never take? Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career without sacrificing your sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel de Lilla. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

or wherever you get your podcasts. To listen to new episodes one week early and 100% ad free, subscribe to the iHeart True Crime Plus channel, available exclusively on Apple podcasts. Andrea thought that her husband Sean had dedicated his career to running his own investment firm. But then, Sean confessed that it was all a lie. Their life of luxury was funded on stolen money. For the past 16 years, he had been running a Ponzi scheme. I didn't even know what a Ponzi scheme was. I had heard of Bernie Madoff. I didn't pay too much attention to those types of things.

I knew he'd done something wrong, but that's pretty much all I knew about it. Sean explained that when he first started, his firm was legitimate. But in his first year, one of his investments went south and he panicked. So he omitted the $5,000 loss from his statement. And I'm sure he thought that he could make that up

with another trade. And then he never did. So he kept fudging the books, selling people on his big wins and using money from new investors to pay old ones. There were no million dollar trades or miracle investments. The conversations he told her about and all the financial documents

she'd seen were fake. He was a total fraud. His clients had lost millions of dollars. Some of them lost everything they had. Not only did he lose other people's money, all of their own money was gone too. The money she'd inherited from her parents and their kids' college funds. It was gone. Then he said, yesterday, I, in the company of my attorney, turned myself in to the U.S.

Marshals, to representatives of the federal government, and I will be going to prison. And when he said the word prison, I about died. My mind was just swirling when he said that. I thought, this cannot be real. She thought back to all the outlandish stories he told over the years, like the one about saving someone's life on a safari. Was any of it real? As the reality set in, she tried to cling to anything she could.

I was trying to find the positive, like I'd been raised to do. And I said, at least the house has paid off. And he said, no, you don't understand. The house is gone.." And he said, no, you don't understand. The house is gone. The cars are gone. Everything's gone.

I just kind of felt like I was witnessing the apocalypse. I remember apologizing, saying, I'm so sorry, but I have to get out of here. And I got up and I ran out and I got in my car and I took off at my driveway and started driving out of my neighborhood. Uncontrollably, tears were just streaming out of my eyes. Andrea pulled over just minutes after leaving her home. She couldn't see much less drive, and as she sat there alone in her car, the weight of it all finally hit her. I felt like everything had been destroyed. Everything was a humiliation to me,

as well as a shock, as well as deeply sad and devastating. My biggest wish and desire would have been to just walk to the edge of the horizon and drop off the face of the earth. But I couldn't because I had four kids relying on me. I was their only resource. She had to keep going, so she made a plan. When I went back to the house, I told him that he was going to be the one to tell the kids. So that night we gathered our family together. He was in a chair in the corner of the room. I

was on the couch across the room from him and he told the kids, I have done something wrong. I've made a little mistake. And from across the side of the room, I am just furious shaking my head going, you've committed a crime. You've made huge mistakes over and over every day, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. That is not one little mistake.

Andrea was angry. The kids, they were terrified. I was standing there with four kids, ages three to 16, tears streaming down their face, looking at me for answers and strength. Before I could even say anything, my little third grader said, does this mean you're going to divorce dad? She knew in that moment that the answer was yes.

It wasn't an easy answer though. I was so humiliated, humiliated to be married to a criminal, humiliated at what he'd done, humiliated to know that I would be getting divorced. I was raised that divorce is not what you do. Knowing that I had been married in a temple forever added a layer of difficulty, a layer of guilt, a layer of regret. But she was done.

She couldn't be with a man who had spent decades cheating so many others out of millions of dollars. She would walk away while making the transition as easy as she could for her kids. I felt like my kids had been in such shock that they probably needed things to be as normal as possible in whatever ways they could be. So I fed them that night.

Sean stayed in the home with us. And he continued to stay in the home and come to family dinner, just as he had for the last 20 years. Even though Sean had turned himself in, the feds still needed time to build a case against him. So, they waited. I even remember cooking dinner for my kids saying, would you like to call your dad

and let him know dinner's ready? I am appalled that I am doing this for this man who's done this. But it was for my kids. I was trying to be kind, set an example of divorce and not changing who you are just because you've been betrayed. You choose the right, you are kind, you are good to people no matter what. The destruction of her life didn't happen all at once. She watched it being taken apart piece by piece. After a few weeks of this purgatory, she got a call from the US Marshals. They set a date to come to her house and seize the family assets. Pretty soon up over the hill, I saw a caravan of dark vehicles with dark tinted windows. They all pull up in front of my house. Everybody starts getting out of the cars. They're all

in FBI or U.S. Marshals jackets. They've got their sunglasses. They've got their weapons. And they come to my house. I think the only difference is I knew they were coming and they didn't break my door down. They rang the doorbell. I let them in. The authorities took everything of value—Sean's computer, his cars, his art collection, and most of what Andrea owned, too. I had the thought, you should hide some of your jewelry. And I thought, what? No, that would be stealing.

No, you don't know where you're going to live, how you're going to keep your kids alive. You don't have a job, your parents are dead. If you could just end up with something, then you'd have something to sell to start a life with. And I went back and forth in my mind a couple of times and then I thought, nope, I am not going to abandon my integrity

just because the person I'm married to has. And I left it. I left it all in my jewelry box because I am not compromising my ethics. She watched all their belongings get carted away and she wasn't the only one. Several of my neighbors at the house next door, up on the deck drinking, barbecuing,

having a great time, rejoicing in the downfall of my family and the asset seizure. Sean had scammed so many people, neighbors, friends, and family alike. She couldn't blame anyone for wanting him to pay, and yet people wanted her to pay too, even though she had done nothing wrong.

She'd been married to the Mormon Madoff, as the media soon dubbed him. Even neighbors and friends assumed that she must have known something. One time I was out front with my three-year-old. He was just playing, you know, around the trees or the bushes. And I could hear, kachink, kachink, kachink.

And I turn around, and one of my neighbors is over the fence with a lens photographing every move I make. For the short time she had remaining in their house, she was paranoid for the safety of her family, and for good reason. One of the victims who was also a neighbor in the neighborhood and who had lost probably all of his money, came all the way up my steps to my front porch to my front door with his

loaded gun ready to blow Sean Merriman away and who knows who else before he came to his senses and he turned around and went home without hurting anyone. Andrea wanted nothing more than to take her kids and get out of that house, especially since Sean continued to live there, waiting to be taken to prison. It took time, 90 days, for the divorce to be processed. But then, finally... On July 13th, I drove to the courthouse with him to finalize the divorce. We came home. I packed my car with my two dogs

and my kids and I moved that day and I didn't say goodbye to anything. I did not look back. I drove away and I didn't look in the rearview mirror the whole way out of Denver. While Shawn went away to prison, Andrea went to Utah. Thankfully, she was able to leave her old life behind without her husband's debt hanging over her head. I had to write my own divorce because I couldn't afford an attorney.

I made sure that I wrote that he was responsible for his debts and I was responsible for mine. Now credit card companies don't apparently have to abide by that, but I think they saw that I was penniless so they didn't actually come after me. She and her kids moved in with her brother and a friend connected her with a job in marketing, so that she could rebuild. But she was starting from nothing. For the first time in her life, she was worried about having the money to eat. For years, I would just have a knot in my stomach every time I drove to the grocery store,

thinking, oh my gosh, I have to buy this food, but it's so much, I don't have money. I mean, we just had to adjust. Part of that adjustment meant facing her own self-blame. I was ridden with guilt that I had enjoyed a nice life at the expense of others. I remember Sean said to me before we parted ways, well, at least you got a lot of good trips out of it. And I just looked at him and went, I hate every trip I went on.

I hate every photo. I hate every memory. There was all kinds of guilt. Guilt that I'd brought him into the lives of my friends and family that got shafted by him. Guilt that I had chosen him to be the father of my friends and family that got shafted by him. Guilt that I had chosen him to be the father of my children. She turned to the church for support and started meeting regularly with a church leader.

And he said, how are you doing? And I said, honestly, I am trying to figure out how this happened. I've tried to do everything right in my life. I've tried to figure out how this happened. I've tried to do everything right in my life. I've tried to be a good wife, a good mother, a good citizen, a good person. How did I get here? And he goes, well, in all of that, you forgot one thing, the agency of the other person, the other person's opportunity to choose. This is not on you.

He did this. There's nothing you could have done. What I had to do was recognize and forgive myself for the fact that I made the best decision I could with the facts I had at hand. But she also knew that she wanted to forgive Sean. That was the only path forward. I had a couple of friends who'd gotten divorced and who had not gotten past it. They were very, very hateful toward their former spouse.

And I saw how it was impacting their kids and destroying their family. And so the one thing I knew was we are going to forgive, not for him, but for us, so that our hatred doesn't destroy us. Sean was ordered to pay $20 million to his victims. On top of that, he was sentenced to 12 and a half years in prison. During that time, Andrea was a single mom. She raised her kids with honesty, kindness, and forgiveness, just like her parents raised her. And my kids have turned out to be everything

I could have hoped for. Hardworking, educated, they all help others, they all have skills, they're kind, good people, and couldn't ask for anything more. Andrea's been able to rebuild her own life, too. I can honestly say I am super happy today. I am a homeowner. I have a great career that's been so memorable. I've gotten to travel. I have done many things that I've dreamed of.

I've actually even remarried, if you can believe it or not. She ended up married to another man in finance. Someone who is everything I thought I was getting, but didn't get the first time and more. He's even tall and handsome. Here's the kicker. After they got married, her new husband started a second career as a fraud investigator busting Ponzi schemes. We

end all of our weekly episodes with the same question. Why did you choose to tell your story? Life can be good. That's what we're all here to have and to be. I believe in being happy. So yeah, maybe I chose to be optimistic more than I should have. And I did smile when the smiles were totally fake. And I remember having my heart so broken it literally ached in my chest. But I've plotted one foot in front of the other for a decade when I wasn't sure if it was making any difference. But when you lift your eyes up and you see you're on the top of a mountain, that's a view worth all the persevering for. On the next episode of Betrayal.

The minute I did that, I had this deep shame flood over me. Like you've made a really grave error here. You've divulged something super private and you'll now never know why this person's in a relationship with you because is it for the money or is it for you? If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's betrayal pod at gmail.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple podcasts.

And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced

by Caitlin Golden with additional production by Monique Laborde and Ben Vetterman. Our associate producer is Kristen Malkuri. Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Dalvecchio. Additional editing support from Niko Arouka and Tanner Robbins. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music Library provided by MIBE Music. And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. We've got some exciting news for you. You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right? Well, this week we're taking it to the next level. The one, the only, Catherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture East. That's right, the queen of comedy herself. Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious as it is insightful.

Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture. Don't miss Catherine Hahn on Lost Culture East This. Listen to Lost Culture East This on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Gianna Predenti. And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadston. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career.

That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert Morrie Teharry-Pore. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017 was assassinated. Crooks everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a Mafia state.