Blank Check with Griffin & David - 5th Anniversary Special
Episode Date: March 22, 2020Griffin, David, Ben and Ang each from their own apartments celebrated Blank Check’s anniversary with a look back at some favorite moments and reflect upon these past five years. Plus, messages from ...past and future guests of the show!
Transcript
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great all right move you Cool. Let's do this.
Let's call that an intro.
Just kick it off like any normal episode, guys. Like we're all in the stude together.
The stude. The stude.
It's having a normal one.
And Vin is here with us.
Vin is here with us. Is this how the episode starts?
Are we saying this is the official?
No, come on.
Let's make it a big thing.
No, what Ben said is definitely the start.
It's tough to make the five.
And it's tough to stay alive.
It's topical, you see, because this is our fifth anniversary and also we are amidst a pandemic
there you go so both things are true
this of course is a very special episode i'm calling it right now our best episode ever
it's the blank check fifth anniversary anniversary, self-quarantine,
social distancing spectacular.
Coming
live to you from each
of our homes. Live
from four different apartments.
That's true.
We've got bigger, nicer.
Is it, yeah, bigger, nicer?
It's little nicer.
Little nicer.
I'm sorry.
And then, of course, then I'm here at Small Fine.
It's small. It's fine.
Yeah, pretty much.
I'm here live from Media Messy,
but I have taken advantage of we're recording this episode via Zoom
for the first time, and Zoom allows you to change your background,
so I've been cycling through different background photos of Vin Diesel.
So right now I have a black and white photo of Vin Diesel in a boxing pose above my shoulder.
Is he in a satin jacket?
I think he is.
Now, David has also added a picture of Vin Diesel to his background.
Oh, I can't see his head.
No, this is not Vin, but it's not a very good one.
I'm trying to find it, but here we go.
How about this one?
David has a shirtless man holding a goat, a baby goat.
It's not Vin, though?
Or a kid.
Who's the shirtless man?
There he is.
Wait, it's mirrored.
David, yes, it does it backwards,
but David has posted a shirtless picture of Colin Farrell from Tigerland.
Yeah, that's right.
Okay.
So we're putting
our crushes in our background image it's hard to do ang my cat just joined it's hard to do much
like making the five it's tough to make the five and it's tough to find a good background image of
your celebrity crush uh angela barracuda farragudo uh joining us as well is there we don't have a
name for your apartment yet no you guys haven't been to my apartment i don't have a name for your apartment yet.
No, you guys haven't been to my apartment.
I don't think. We haven't.
I've dropped you off outside of your apartment.
That is the most I have been to your apartment.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You don't have a name at the tip of your tongue.
We'll come up with it at some point.
No, I mean, my apartment,
we have a nickname for ourselves,
but it's named after the street we live on.
So I would rather not say that on mic.
How about this one?
This one's good.
This one's good.
David's background is now Miami Vice and he's sitting directly in between Tubbs and Crockett.
Yeah.
It's pretty perfect.
Yeah, that one's good.
Okay, good.
Now I feel good.
So here we are.
We originally had some sort of plan for our fifth anniversary episode.
I can't even really.
I guess we were all just going to hang out and do stuff.
There was some thought of us initially doing the Phantom Menace.
We had a full plan.
I was going to get a top hat and a cane and do a whole dance routine.
It was heavily scripted.
Like the frog from WB?
Okay, okay.
I mean, I would say we probably had more plans this
weekend uh monday i'm pretty sure where our focus was for a while yes we had a lot of different uh
plans in place uh uh including two live shows we were gonna do and this and ben was gonna go full
michigan j frog uh and we going to improvise a little bit here
because the show must go on.
Yeah.
So through the magic of technology,
the four of us are going to hang out here
and talk about this journey we've been on
for the last five years.
And when I say we, I mean the royal we,
including you, the listeners.
Ange ducked off screen.
It looked like she was barfing at you saying that,
but I think she was just petting her cat.
Maybe a little bit of both.
He's trying to curl up on my hoodie,
and I was moving some items out of the way for him.
Yep, he's doing it now.
Oh, there he is.
It's very cute.
All right, so you're right.
Yes, it's been five years.
It's been almost exactly
five years right monday march 23rd is the five-year anniversary of the first episode
of griffin and david present the phantom podcast where we talked about the first seven-ish minutes
of the phantom menace i mean we joke but maybe our worst episode ever. It's that and Amistad. Bottom ten. Bottom five?
Makes the bottom five?
Bottom two.
I think it's a hard bottom two.
I think that and Amistad are undeniably the two worst ones.
Because that episode is us explaining the bit that we're never going to address for the rest of the series in too great detail.
Yes, we talk too much about that.
I still think you're too hard on the Amistad episode,
but I'll admit it's been a while.
Yeah, it's also like a brisk 41 minutes.
Yeah.
Which for us doesn't even really count as an episode.
That's pretty much an ad read at this point.
Yeah, now that's a March Madness recap if we rush it.
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
So anyway, we're here.
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
So anyway, we're here.
We are going to embark on our next miniseries next Sunday, correct?
Next.
Right.
Correct.
No Ben's Choice.
This is serving the palate cleanser role.
Next Monday, we're driving straight into the wasteland,
or at least a pre-wasteland Australia with Mad Max.
Yeah, although it was actually a pre-wasteland australia with mad max yeah although it is it was actually a pre-wasteland america when we recorded it so that is true don't if we don't talk about uh
various corona viri that's because uh wasn't on our mind whenever we fucking talked about mad
max and ben's apartment i i mean definitely uh in the beyond Thunderdome episode, I refer to the time we're recording as peak coronavirus panic.
And boy, was I naive back then, two weeks ago.
Wow, you have made some bad calls on this podcast, but that was one of the worst.
One of the worst. I called it peak coronavirus.
A time where I was able to then leave the recording studio where i was in the same room
as all of you and then go out and casually walk down the street shake some hands buy a sandwich
spit on strangers do your wado show i did my wado show two weeks ago and now ucb might never reopen
wado ended it that's what i was telling david it's just like it's done it is i mean there is there is some weird symmetry there too you know five
years ago you and i david we go into a small closet at the offices of ucb comedy where ben
hosley is being paid in classes and has been given permission to give us a flyer to give us 10 episodes.
Todd Bieber graciously said, why not?
And allowed you.
Big shout out to Todd Bieber.
Allowed you to give us 10 episodes.
And it all stemmed out of a Watto tweet.
And now five years later, I did aado show and ucb might close forever
we're only laughing because it's terrible it's awful all of it's bad everything's bad except
for wado wado's doing really well and also hello this guy i'm looking at right now an email from February 17th 2015 oh where I followed up
with you guys after meeting
with Todd and you never had to follow
up with us ever again by email
that's not something you regularly have to do
it's one and done
and I'm looking
here and it's it's saying
not sustainable
interesting here and it's it's saying not sustainable interesting that's that's uh yeah that's there does not have legs good call
but no i mean you know it was a thing that todd was just like yeah sure whatever like he was really like giving me the chance to just
make stuff for UCB
and you guys pitched this insane
idea we've discussed it before
on our hundredth and we've discussed it
it's come up yeah it was such a great opportunity
to be able to record in the closet
with you guys the windowless closet
and that's where this all started
Griffin changed the
picture again and it seems to be some sort of double
Vin Diesel it's some sort of parent trap
situation
he's got longboard shorts
it's two of him that are shirtless
and I was jealous of the fact that you got to sit in
between Crockett and Tubb so I wanted to sit
between Vin and Vin
yes it was
it was
a flyer and I remember we finished recording and uh ben you said well
you guys will get the hang of it and then yes you were not enthused you were like no
and then the second episode you were like that was actually you were like that was surprisingly
uh listenable that was like that was like a real episode, guys.
Yeah.
Right.
And then we were off to the races.
Yes.
End of story.
Thank you all for listening.
Please remember to review.
That's it.
And here we are.
And nothing happened in between.
We didn't learn any lessons along the way or anything.
Absolutely not.
To think back in those days when we started the show and
podcasting i mean had you know been around but it wasn't as popular as it is at this very moment
for sure conan had not yet entered the fray right exactly yeah it was popular but it hadn't been
invented yet yeah right i think cereal had happened of course serial had happened right
right so it was referencing serial it was post serial pre-conan yes but you know it's funny i
was talking to uh uh kevin porter uh friend of the show future guest uh former gilmore guy
gilmore guys right now has gone to do many other shows uh
Good Christian Fun and uh Inside Voices but but he did Gilmore Guys which I think had been running
for at least a year at the time that we started our show yeah that sounds about right they had
built like a good uh following at that point and and we were talking about the time you know getting into podcasting which was
sort of like the second wave of comedy podcasts you know um and and he was saying a thing that i
i realized i felt at the same time too uh which was uh oh i missed the boat it's too late to start
a podcast you know like i feel like at the time that we started
this in 2015, I felt that way where I was like, well, there are just too many podcasts now.
And the ones that are successful, they got in early and they had a chance to like,
you know, make an impact and grow slowly. And then something like Serial, every once in a while,
there'll be a phenomenon. But like, you know, the market's too diluted and there's not space
for a new show right now. And Gilmore guys had started a year earlier than us uh and they
felt the same way like well you know we got in too late but at least we're just doing this to
have fun and whatever no more gates could be locked essentially is what you're saying right
and and now it's uh i feel like now it's the thing that everyone says to me where they're like,
well,
you guys are lucky.
You got in like just at the right moment.
Like you got in before it was too late.
Now it's too late to start a podcast.
It's never too late.
It's never too late.
Of course it isn't.
Of course,
five years,
it will be crazier than it is now in some way or another.
But yeah,
these waves are kind of meaningless but when we got in
we got in smart because it sounded good crisp okay i mean it was funny it was
informative it was very made something that was cool above all else but it was also the key to it was
it was conversations
that we would have had for fun
irregardless despite
the fact that the bit was so high concept
at the beginning
what bit?
it was the kind of bit I'm sorry
the smits were so high concept at the beginning
no bits
smits is always going to be high concept at the beginning no bits no bits um smiths
is always going to be high concept god damn it in the heights better come out i'm really i'm sweating
that one what is he saying good morning good good morning usnavi i don't even want to parody it
right now because i'm so worked up about this but uh i know not to speak out of turn but i know people who have seen it and
say it is fantastic really and and i just wanna i want that movie i mean i i know that you know
movies will be eventually released even if their release has to be delayed but i'm just thinking
about it right now okay this episode is topical can we pause the the self-mythologizing i'll stop
my stream of hagiography. Let's pause that.
Can we talk about the state of movies right now? Because I think it's an important thing for us
to talk about. I miss them so much.
I want nothing more than
to just go to a movie theater
and not think about anything right now.
And that's taken away right now too,
unfortunately. For the good of people.
Obviously it's important. For the good of people.
For the good of people. But I was texting with gabrus this morning and he said to me john gabrus friend of the show passed
in future guest humble brag winky winky and he said it's like the three things that i have to
do for my mental health are uh uh jim beach movie theater a slight variation the long island
version of jim tan laundry right and i said to him yeah i relate because for me it's movie theater
movie theater movie theater just different amc's throughout manhattan and they're all fucked
yeah and it's a little scary now not just the fact that okay so
movie theaters are off the table temporarily uh because i understand that as a necessary uh move
to ensure the uh the future of humanity but also that we are in this weird time where the question
is what will movie theaters look like uh whenever this ends and and how will viewing habits change and customer habits change?
I don't know. It's weird.
I mean, our podcast is not very often about current release films.
We are rarely incentivizing people to go to the theaters.
In a certain way, our podcast is perfectly positioned for a time like this,
where it's just assignments of things to watch at home.
That's true.
Not intentional, but we're people who love going to the fucking movie theater.
Yep.
We love seeing a talkie picture on a screen.
We love da movies.
In a room full of strangers.
We love da movies.
We love da movies.
Ben likes da movies.
Yeah, I like movies.
Three movie lovers in one. But I like movies. Three movie lovers.
But I like joking about them a lot.
You love joking about them.
But it is this weird thing of just like, right.
Like something like Fast 9, right?
My beloved Vin punted all the way to 2021.
Yes, initial shock and sadness.
But in the long term, I am happier to wait a year to see that movie properly
than to have it drop on iTunes in like two weeks.
Oh, man.
iTunes for fast would be so depressing.
In the Heights is the same thing.
Yeah.
In the Heights is the same thing.
There's this thing going around right now where people are like, oh, is this it?
And it's sort of like, no, I don't think so.
For one, you're going to not see studios releasing these like Wonder Woman or whatever. around right now people like oh is this it and it's sort of like no i don't think so for one
you're gonna not see studios releasing these like wonder woman or whatever no
warner brothers isn't gonna release that because the potential profit of a movie release is still
just on a whole other level and also i think once it's possible for people to gather in groups again, I know I personally am going to like stay the fuck outside when I can and go to crowded events once it is deemed safe to do so.
Right. Like if Wonder Woman is the first movie to open when the movie theaters reopen, it's going to make so much goddamn money. Like people are going to want to communally gather in a space with strangers whose medical histories they don't know and watch that goddamn movie.
Something like In the Heights, which we're all fucking amped for.
Every time I saw that trailer in theaters, I got goosebumps.
Partially because of how good it looks and partially because you could feel
the excitement of the other people in the
theater going, oh my god,
Jimmy Smits is walking into
a bodega confidently, singing.
Singing Good Morning.
Usnavi.
Usnavi.
Who's so named because, he's named
like after the U.S. Navy, right?
I did see in the Heights.
I never saw it.
Okay, well.
Yeah, it's his parents when they arrived in America saw a ship with the sign U.S. Navy on it.
That's why he's called a snobby.
Anyway, so we love movies.
We don't want him to go away.
We don't want Blank Check to go anywhere.
Not that it's going anywhere.
So we're here to celebrate his fifth anniversary.
What are we doing guys well we have some friends of the show who in celebration of our fifth anniversary have left us some voicemails and sent over some audio
messages so we can listen to those some clips from past episodes we had posted on
Reddit with
suggestions for those. So,
you guys let me know. Perhaps maybe
let's start with a clip from a
past episode. Does that sound fun? Okay.
Let's open up the old clip bag.
Let's do it. And for all this stuff,
I'm trying to explain it as simply as possible. So,
there's some super nerds that might know that I'm
avoiding some details or maybe some funny things. Like sort of toppings on the simply as possible. So there's some super nerds that might know that I'm avoiding some details
or maybe simplifying some things.
Like sort of toppings on the pizza.
Yes.
So here's some crazy shit we're going to get into.
Or pizza in the bottle.
The way film works,
and this is now getting to Billy Lynn stuff.
We can get out,
we're out of the film school stuff.
Now this is me getting into
what's crazy about Billy Lynn.
We're walking the walk.
The way film,
walking the walk 2018,
the way film works,
people often say
what allows a bunch of series of still images
to create the illusion of motion
is something called persistence of vision,
which is the idea that
if you right now wave your hand in front of your face,
you see that the image of your fingers is blurring.
And that's considered persistence of vision,
which is that the image sort of smears in your retina
and in your brain.
And so that helps you determine
what direction things are going, how motion's working.
Okay. That's not true.
That is not what dictates motion.
That's not what makes cinema works.
So now I'm gonna get into some crazy stuff.
So there's a bunch of these experiments
that prove that this is not how it works.
Here comes the maracas section.
Oh my God.
David,
you can't,
oh my God,
this is,
if there's one podcast
to get into cinema.
you're describing how cameras work,
but now you're like,
now let me upend to you
the thought process.
We gotta talk vision,
baby.
So,
there's these famous experiments
where you take,
okay,
an image of a red dot.
It's not,
it's a still image of red dot.
No motion blur,
nothing.
Okay?
And then, you take that away and put up another image of a red dot. It's a still image of red dot. No motion blur, nothing. Okay? And then you take that away and put up another image of a red dot in another location. Okay? If you go between those
images, one to the other, one to the other, and you start increasing the pace that you're going
between the two, suddenly your brain starts to assume motion between them. Instead of it being
one image of one circle here and another here, your brain goes, that circle's moving from here to here,
back and forth, back and forth.
And in the science
experiments, they refer to this in a certain amount
of hertz or a certain amount of milliseconds.
I've sort of
tried to transmutate it into frames per second.
Okay? So,
the frequency, which you do
that when you, it starts as being still
images, and then, let me get my exact.
These four.
Yep.
Welcome to the five towers club,
by the way.
From zero.
Congrats.
Thank you.
From zero to five frames per second,
it's just succession,
two images.
Then you get to partial movement
where you get the sense,
sensation of things moving slightly.
And then at around eight,
between 16 and 18 frames per second
which is really interesting
you have what's called beta movement
okay
which is just like these like low testosterone
oh my god
sort of cock movements
hey Ben can you open that envelope
oh my gosh this is like Neil Patrick Harris
hosting the Oscars
that's sort of why I did this
Ben is opening the envelope This is like Neil Patrick Harris hosting the Oscars. That's sort of why I did this.
Ben is opening the envelope.
What's it say on the front there?
Griffin will make a joke about beta movement.
And just open it up?
Fuck.
This is amazing.
Beta cuck movement.
Okay.
I mean, the guy knows me.
We're very good.
Very old friends.
Oh my fucking God.
I just knew.
I just knew.
Jesus Christ.
I'm sorry.
So,
around 16 to 18 frames.
1,000 comedy frames.
Thank you.
That really was a tour de force.
That was incredible.
Thank you.
Listen, you know people.
Well, that's the funniest thing
that will ever happen on this podcast.
But isn't it funny that that moment, which is probably the funniest thing that will ever happen on this podcast isn't it funny that that
moment which is probably the funniest thing you'll ever ever on the podcast is three minutes of jd
talking in detail about like how the brain perceives movement and how it can be visually
tricked and then that and then a joke then the greatest joke ever well i think that's part of
what makes it the greatest joke ever i also want clear, then a bad joke by you, and then the greatest joke ever.
Well, agree to disagree.
I think it was a pretty perfect joke.
I think it was a perfect joke, just like the perfect test and the perfect phone call.
But part of the beauty of the joke,
it's not that that's the funniest thing I've ever witnessed in my life,
but it is the most beautifully executed joke i have ever witnessed jd walks into the
studio is holding in his hand doesn't say anything when we start recording the episode which part for
the course for us was probably 45 minutes after we all arrived yeah and i probably arrived 30
minutes after everyone else yeah yeah at the very beginning of the episode, he hands you the envelope, Ben, and says, I just want you to take note of this envelope.
I will tell you when to open it.
And then the clip you just heard is like an hour into the episode.
Probably.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It may be 45.
It's deep-ish into the episode.
I mean, he lets it rest for a good long while before letting us execute his joke
and like what if he wasn't like what if we didn't get around to talking about beta movement whatever
the fuck that you know it's it's so funny that he's like we're gonna get this deep i i promise
as we know he comes in with a checklist of things that we have to discuss but also there's the
moment there where i say which is just like less low testosterone excuse me where i say it's like
low testosterone movement and then i take a beat and jd just kind of stared at me in the room. And then I said, cuck movement. I almost didn't say cuck movement.
And it was because I got no response that I felt like I had to take another bite at the apple.
So JD was just like, I'm not rising to it until he says the word.
He was the Svengali.
He knew.
He said, I can't force his hand.
Whereas it's amazing how you can hear me play out
during the whole clip i'm just like oh god jd's going too deep this is too dry i'm like you know
i'm being a pain and then you make your joke and i'm like for crying out loud this thing's off the
rails like i am totally in grunt mode until he asks Ben to reach for the envelope.
Completely won back over. Hearing you react to it reminds me of another JD moment
when you guys are describing the ending of Speed Racer
where the crowd is just losing their mind.
That's David just going, oh my God, what am I about to witness?
What is happening right now?
It felt like that.
I did feel like we
were reeling after that we had we had to continue doing the episode but it was i was just so i fell
out of my astonished by the the jujitsu of it you know and then we do talk for another like 90
minutes like it's not like that was yeah not only does he have to complete his entire lecture, but then we also have to get into Hack My Mac.
Oh, right.
It's such a good blank check episode
because it is about a movie that no one talks about.
It's about a movie that is special for reasons no one acknowledges
by a great artist, but not his great work.
Right.
Right?
I don't know.
It also began a tradition.
Yeah.
Talk in the Walk.
Talk in the Walk. That walk. Oh, boy. I don't know what It also began a tradition. Yeah. Talk in the walk. That walk.
Oh, boy.
I don't know what we'll do this year.
Talk in walk.
Who knows?
I mean, look, let's say Bobby Zemeckis is now going on to the Elite Eight in March Madness.
If he wins, then it's real easy for us.
We just literally talk the walk.
Yeah, although his filmography is so goddamn long
we probably won't talk the walk till freaking you know january or whatever but yes you're right
but but otherwise yes we're back to the drawing board we have to figure out what the next walk is
i think jd sent in a voicemail as well where he talked about this but i just want to say before
we play that and i'm not going to reveal what it is because he's been very adamant about this.
JD texted me
while you were playing the clip by pure coincidence.
He's been, has not left his
apartment once in the last 10 days
from self-quarantine.
He was feeling pretty sick, I think
for a couple of days now on the mend, but is
justifiably paranoid.
He has been sending me different drafts.
JD is determined to come up
with a viral coronavirus tweet.
JD is not on Twitter.
I don't recommend it.
I don't.
Ange went viral and she did not enjoy it.
No, I had to give my password to my sister
because I can't log into my account anymore.
It's bad.
I'm only on blank check.
Don't go viral right now.
I'm sorry.
Continue.
You should have said don't at me.
That's the only mistake you made.
You had a perfect tweet.
It was a perfect tweet, just like the phone call and the test.
It's like when you ask someone if they're a cop.
They have to tell you.
If you say don't at me, they can't at you.
You should have just said don't at me because you were correct.
Okay, but what did JD send?
COVID-19, the Widowmaker.
JD has been sending me drafts of things that he wants to go viral.
And he has been working hard on them.
So I just want the listener to know, he said, I cannot give him credit for his thing.
Because he doesn't have a Twitter account.
He's he's giving it to me.
He wants to test the virality.
But I just want the listener to know something I post probably within a week is going to be created by J.D.
I will never say what it is or isn't.
That's all I want to say.
Should we play the J.D. voicemail?
Yeah.
Yeah. All right. Hello hello Blank Check family I'm J.D. Amato and I love movies
blanket thank it but don't touch each other
because of the virus
I just want to send a quick message to congratulate the Blank Check team
on their 5th anniversary
you all should be so proud of yourselves
that's such a phenomenal accomplishment
I am of course so appreciative of the fact
that you've allowed me to be part of the podcast in small ways, but I'm more appreciative
of the fact that you've all been such kind and wonderful friends to me over the years.
It truly means the world. I'm currently in the midst of a doctor-mandated quarantine.
Don't worry, I'm fine. But the time has allowed me to explore my old emails and find my first ever correspondences with each of you.
So Ben, my first email with you was in 2015 when you were booking guests for the UCB Digital Podcast.
I believe you had to cancel and then rebook and it all worked out fine in the end.
David, my first email from you was in 2014 when I sent you an unsolicited audio file of me giving my take on
the current state of reality television at the time and you responded about 12 hour day and
avoided having to send an audio file back to me. Also in looking through these emails I came upon
the following email from five years ago from May 2015. The subject of the email was, help us with the final episode
of our stupid podcast.
Hey, David Sims and I
have been recording a stupid podcast
for the last couple months
solely about Star Wars Episode I,
The Phantom Menace.
The explicit goal of this podcast
is to answer the question,
what is The Phantom Menace about?
And so far we've failed in that regard.
Recording our final episode Wednesday
blah blah blah
guys it's five years later
and that wasn't your last episode
you did many more
and your podcast evolved into something completely different
and completely wonderful
and speaking of evolution
I want to say that
in life a lot of things evolve and change and adapt over time, but also a lot of things stay the same.
And those things that stay the same can be really grounding and really magical and give us a lot of joy, especially in times like this when so many things feel changing and new and strange and uncomfortable.
It's nice to look back and see that there's certain things that never change
and those things that are always true.
And that brings me to my first ever email that I got from Griffin Newman.
Griffin, the first email you sent to me 10 years ago, June 2010,
is the following email, subject line.
Toy story. Body of the email.
Yo, here are the deeds for tonight. Hope you can make it.
You've got a friend in me, Griff. And I hope you know, 10 years later, you still got a friend in
me, Griff. And to all of you, congratulations on five years. That's such a big accomplishment.
On behalf of myself, many of your co-conspirators and fans,
I say to you,
blank you,
thank you,
and I'd like to end on a question.
Now that five years have passed,
do you think you've achieved your goal
of answering the question,
what is The Phantom Menace about?
And if not,
how many more years do you think it'll take you?
I'll take my question off the air.
Love you guys.
Goodbye.
Great voicemail from jd amato there
genuinely made me a little emotional got a little choked up there griffin why did you send him an
email about toy story do you think you were going to see it that was the weekend that toy story 3
was coming out and i went at the zigfeld rip one of the all-time great movie palaces. They did a marathon screening
of all three movies back to back to back.
And so at the end of that
marathon...
Great joke. Five
comedy points.
But at the end of that marathon, you got to
see Toy Story 3 earlier than anyone else.
And I invited JD because we were in
an improv class together at that
time at the UCB theater, a company that's never done anything wrong.
Anyway, JD has been one of our great friends of the show.
That first email he read was us asking him to send in a voicemail for that final Phantom Menace episode because we just thought 10 or whatever.
Let's just get all the people we wish we had gotten on the show we didn't really have many guests on the phantom menace podcast uh it
was the next mini series where we started bringing people on and jd came on the show for the first
time right um and uh our good friend rachel lang uh chase mitchell some of the uh morgan evans was
in that one i think yeah didn't trucker do i can't remember
if he did episode two or three sonia suraya i mean people started doing the fray but did we
we had zero no we had one guest conor ralliff was the only guest for phantom podcast is that um
i think so am i wrong about that i think you're probably right i i don't remember
uh you know but it was one of the things that certainly helped the show evolve as we opened it up to other people and developed our sort of stable of friends and regulars.
didn't plan but that we've tried to uh acknowledge and hold on to is the show being this weird uh middle ground between like pop culture criticism and uh comedy podcasts uh as people who are fans
of both of those things and us coming from our respective backgrounds but also having interest
in the other's worlds um you know one of the
things that's fun i think is having people on the show uh who come from comedy backgrounds
and allowing them to talk more seriously and not feeling like they need to make a joke every two
seconds and having people who are serious film critics on and allowing them to be funny and not
making them feel like they have to weave some elegant tapestry.
Not everyone can be the poet laureate.
Not everyone can be our finest film critic.
Ben has both of those roles on lockdown.
So someone like Sonya can come on our show, and she's one of the best writers out there,
but she can also do stupid bits with us.
Should we play another clip?
Well, we didn't answer his question at the end.
Oh, right.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like we fully know
what the phantom menace is about at this point griffin do you agree with me or am i being crazy
and saying that no i think i have an answer do you want to say it i'm curious if ours line up
i want to hear yours first say it at the same time on three no
here's my very short reductive answer it's about how blind arrogance destroys society
no we have the same answer yes right right yeah it's about like yeah i mean it's weird how the
sequels that george lucas had no involvement in were clarifying in this regard but yes it is about
you're watching an empire crumble under its own, like, what's it called?
Decadence.
Arrogance, but there's a word.
Hubris.
There we go.
Hubris.
No, but I think, honestly, in light of the recent movies,
I really do feel like it's about that Palpatine fox.
It is what it is about that.
He forces consciousness. It forces consciousness, yeah consciousness yeah yeah uh no it's funny i mean we at one point in time we thought what we were going to do for this fifth anniversary
was uh reassess the phantom menace but with context right that was our idea was talk about
it as a star wars movie since we never did that on the show. I thought that would have been fun. But then you decided there's been too much Star Wars
talk of late, which is not inaccurate. Right. I stand by it. But it is one of those things
that I think you and I are both slightly warmer on all three of those prequel movies
than we are in those episodes because of the thought experiment
of pretend the other movies don't exist. The affection comes from the way that they're in
conversation with the others, even if those movies are not wholly successful.
The bit was stupid. We should have acknowledged the other movies. What a waste of a year.
Well, part of like the response on Reddit is we had had a question so maybe i'll post this to the group
do you guys want to maybe talk about what your least favorite episodes are and what you would
have done differently if given a time machine and also what are some of your favorite apps
i mean uh you know i i said the ones i like the least uh i'll tell you the two episodes i'll give you the time machine on i i think and i've said
this before i think uh we were uh really ungenerous to ahmed best in our jar jar episode i think we
were very much following the same line of attack that everyone else was following and putting a
lot of the blame on him which was not uh fair uh especially in light of uh how much he's opened up about how difficult
that process was for him after the release of the film and the other obvious one is but it's one of
those hindsight's 2020 we literally did not know that uh lulu wong was gonna get pulled out of
that episode oh yeah that episode is tough for me to re-listen to because uh i feel the same
anxiety that probably our listeners feel where you go god she only has 20 minutes left why are
you asking her about interviews uh and the answer is we thought we had two hours it's no one's fault
uh it was one person's fault but uh that's okay it was one person's fault we're not gonna name
her we don't even know that person's name but i know her name but that's it's no big deal um but you're right about that and hopefully
we'll have her on at some other point i thought we had a really good conversation with her i thought
our nasa could talk afterwards we should do this with her we could i mean look silver lining a
skype maybe we'll have more west coast guests on the show in the next couple of uh months yeah who knows
who knows uh i'm trying to think of any episodes i don't like i feel like we talk i mean i don't
like the fantastic four episode i already said that uh whenever we did a retrospect before i
like all the episodes what's a bad episode of blank jack there's no such thing i'll say um i would go back and um not lose my phone and fall
on the ground when we recorded that episode with dana you lost your phone and of course right yes
yes you were very late you were right yeah it was incredibly late i recall david saying i thought
you were dead yes i did say that That was maybe a little harsh of me,
but it had crossed my mind.
That was not good.
I didn't like that.
I sprained my ankle severely.
It was a whole thing.
I'm very sorry.
That was a day. Yes, I forgot.
I forgot that was that episode, yes.
Was there like a director
you guys were kind of like tired of doing
at a certain point?
Oh, sure.
Burton.
I can answer that right away.
Yeah, Burton. I will say i didn't totally feel this way but i remember a little bit of exhaustion with spielberg by the end that was at the time definitely the longest we'd ever done yeah yeah i think that
was just because it was twice as long as any mini series we had done up until that point
there was so much variety in that career and he has bangers at the very end yeah those bangers at the end rule i think spielberg's interesting because
like he i love our warhorse episode and i love catch me if you can i think we have some like
really good episodes in there i still could not tell you one thing about steven spielberg he's
like an enigma besides like he's just good at at his job. He knows where to put the camera,
and he wishes his dad was nicer to him.
Well, that's what's weird.
I mean, he's one of those paradoxes where his films are so weirdly revealing
and also so weirdly impersonal at the same time.
In certain ways, he's telling you everything about himself,
and in other ways, you feel like you don't know him at all.
Yeah, he's a funny one.
He's kind of like Jerry Seinfeld in that sense.
Yeah, I think he's less weird on balance,
but yes, I know what you mean.
You know, Ange brought up our War Horse episode.
I actually have a clip.
Oh, a clip from War Horse.
Perfect segue.
Old friend, Pilot Virouet.
Right, the first three minutes of the film
feel like 15 minutes,
and it's a series of sequences
totally silent of Jeremy Irvine watching
this horse be born, grow,
prance around, you know,
achieve full size. So creepy.
It's weird. Very
fucking creepy. Okay, but here's
where I, here's my first problem with the movie.
Yeah. So first pivotal scene
is an auction. Yep. Peter Mullen,
a great actor,
Great director too. Good director,
plays Jeremy Irvine's
dad. Drunky Mick Drunkenness.
Yeah, old drunk farmer.
Drunky-o-drunkery.
Farmer booze. Yep.
And then David
Thouless plays like Lord plays, like, Lord Evil.
Like, a mustache and sideburns only, like, you know, land baron or whatever.
Baron Persnickety.
And he's like, I shall have that horse.
A million pounds, please.
And Peter Mullen, Peter Mullen, not Jeremy Irvine, is like, a million and one pounds.
Like, he, like, dares defy his lord. Right. To outbid him. Peter Mullen not Jeremy Irvine is like a million and one pounds like he like
dares defy
his lord
right
to outbid him
what does he care about
the horse
he just like briefly
falls in love with the horse
and then
quickly wants to
shoot the horse
in the face
I mean he probably
feels like his son
isn't gonna find
like anyone else
so like he better
like support
this relationship
yeah
but when he brings
the horse back
to Jeremy Irvine
Jeremy Irvine acts like, oh, wow,
I've never seen this horse before.
Like, he doesn't own up to.
Oh, he's like, oh, cool horse.
Yeah, no, no, no.
It's a good horse.
Good horse.
I'm going to call him Joey, and I'm going to make a special owl call for him.
I'm definitely enjoying meeting this horse for the first time.
I haven't spent weeks upon weeks watching this horse from its birth.
the first time. I haven't spent weeks upon weeks watching this horse from its
birth.
The implication, I guess, is that
David
Thouless is the evil land baron.
Yeah, but he's not even evil. He's just a dick.
He's just a guy. He's like, there's a
fuckable horse, and what
purpose does a fuckable horse have
if not just to hang out in
a fancy manner?
Right.
And be ridden around by rich people and not do much and eat hay.
Maybe do some dressage.
Yeah, do a little dressage.
Yeah, be like a dancing horse.
Sure.
Right?
Yes.
Right, exactly.
A silly horse.
Look at this auction, okay?
What does David Thewlis have to gain from owning the horse, right?
He's a rich man.
He could just put the horse up in a nice
stable. His son is kind of like, eh.
I mean, it's okay. His son's not even that
into the horse. But the idea is that it would be a show
horse. How many times are we going to say horse?
We're going to say it so much.
And we did. That episode is funny.
Yeah. Can I say that
MP3 file is called
Fuckable Horse?
It's funny because um we usually are very charitable to
movies that you know like we come in with like sort of like trying to find the things we like
in them even if they're bad you know what i mean and that's a movie that a lot of people really
love and it's a movie that is not my favorite but but certainly has got a lot going on. But we just came in, and we were like, Jesus, guys.
We really just wanted to take it to town,
take it to the glue factory.
It's one of those things like Master Builder was a similar thing,
where sometimes it's just like the mood we're in,
how deep we are in the filmography, the guest we have, just the alchemy of all
those things.
It just becomes, you know, I think you've always clarified, David, over and over again
that this is not a bad movie podcast, that we've tried to avoid that.
No disrespect to bad movie podcasts, but there are too many of them out there and we felt
like we don't want to be just another one.
And so a lot of times people will suggest things to us. You have to do an emergency episode on do little
And and we just like it's not right
Yeah, I mean look we could have boarded the ship with do a little
We're doing a do a little episode and actually George Miller is canceled and we're doing a Steven Gagin miniseries.
We got it.
Never mind.
All plans out the window.
But the point is, like, anytime there's a calamity, we don't feel the need to discuss it.
We don't want to cover someone's film career largely because their movies are bad.
But every once in a while, it's fun to have fun with a movie.
And something like War Horse is just it's it's pretty easily mockable it's called warhorse and it's about a horse that everyone wants to fuck then do we have a matrix
clip uh yeah you know as a 14 year old i was looking for a sequel to the matrix that made me
feel the way the matrix did right yeah and it's a good question what did we want this movie to be
i think that's a fair question i was trying to watch this and figure that out i was trying to think what was i expecting out of this film because
i look at the trailers and they get me excited and i still don't know what i think it's promising
yeah and i realized it's really hard to imagine what it could have been like in a more sort of
nominally like uh commercial sequel i think i sat down the theater and had no idea what i actually
wanted i wanted to be as surprised as I was watching The Matrix the first time.
Hard to do. That's the thing.
That's what's tough. It's not just like,
oh, The Matrix is really good. You see something
like Guardians of the Galaxy and you're like, good, make a sequel.
Yeah, just like, can I have more
of these guys piling around?
They fight aliens. Good. Easy to
make a sequel. I don't need the sequel to
explain the world of Guardians of the Galaxy
in extreme depth. I don't need bigger sequel to explain the world of Guardians of the Galaxy in extreme depth.
I don't need bigger
picture mythology.
I need, like,
there's a couple of villains,
there's a MacGuffin,
and then at the end
there's a big fight,
but I get it.
It's not going to be
fucking Shakespeare over here.
Joking some pop songs.
Nice pop songs.
I don't know if the movie's
going to work,
but I know there's
a clear roadmap
that a six-year-old
could tell you
is what Guardians of the Galaxy 2
should be.
In basketball, is when you're drafting players.
No, it's okay.
It's very brief.
Like in draft day?
Yes, but basketball.
Can you put it in those terms?
Well, sure, in football.
It's probably similar in football.
You know, you talk about a player's ceiling when you're drafting them, right?
So it's like you see a player in college and you might say, he's good right now.
He's probably going to just be this.
He'll be good.
And then you see another player and you're like, look, I get that he's rough
around the edges, but we know
from doing this for years that he's got
the kind of skills that if you develop them right, he could
be a megastar. So the
ceiling is very high, but it's a more high
risk thing. So that's kind of what The Matrix
is. A sequel to The Matrix is a high
ceiling. You could make something incredible. Talk about a world where you can do anything.
Yeah. Guardians of the Galaxy, you know, you know what you're going to get.
That sums it up, right? The little noises I just made? Yes, 100%.
Yeah. But something, yeah, I don't know. With this, you
just go like, I don't even know what... The paradigm shifted so much in the wake of this movie
that I don't know what I want out of it.
And it's also this weird, like, you can't go home again thing
where the Matrix is a hero's journey.
It's someone coming to their position.
It's a new character entering into the world.
Yeah.
Right?
You know what this movie is?
It's like a total subversion of the hero's journey.
Man, that's why it's so good.
Okay, so...
I would have...
All right, I think I know what I wanted.
No, no, so Ben,
what your experience, I believe,
was also seeing this at the time,
but you did not rewatch it, you told me.
I did not.
Yeah, no.
I didn't have time.
You didn't watch, okay.
We're doing these episodes very close together,
and I don't think we can really reasonably expect them
to have to watch everything.
We're doing three in a row, yeah.
Oh, so anyway, so I, yeah,
I mean, I, you know, I left and I
was just like, those were a lot of keys.
That was my takeaway.
Now, Ben, you like size.
You like size. Do you like quantity
or is that less important to you?
When it's an impressive amount of keys,
I'm on board. So did you find
the keymaker's set of keys to be
an impressive amount of keys? Yes.
I was like, that was a lot of keys.
He has two layers of clothes that are covered
in keys. He's got like an outer
and inner vest. Can I ask
a very serious
question?
Can I ask a very serious question? Yes you can.
Has Ben become our
finest living film critic?
Look, what if it was like USA Today and there's like a picture of Ben,
a picture of Ben like leaning against his fist,
and it's just like the Matrix reloaded and it's just like,
those were a lot of keys.
It's an important moment.
And historic moment.
And a thing that listeners asked for to give more backstory,
to go down memory lane of how some of those nicknames came to be um but but that yes that was a big one uh it did feel
like yeah if i can if i can do a little uh a ben hosley tribute here for a moment if if you'll so amuse me uh it's still five years into this show i don't
fucking know if i get the guy but i'm constantly constantly falling in love over and over again
and that moment is another perfect one where it's just like where did that come from it's both it's it's to quote the
storytelling principle it's surprising but inevitable uh and and he truly is our finest
film critic and i also think uh you know our our listenership would be a lot more limited
if not for ben being a presence on the mic as much much as you, Ben, always say, it's not my job.
If you guys are on a roll, I'm not going to butt in.
You know, the show's about you.
I've had so many people say, or even just read people write, you know, I'm not as big
a fan as you guys are.
I don't watch all the movies.
The level of shit you guys know is actually kind
of off-putting to me ben is the way that i'm able to get into the show the fact that there's someone
there in the room who has a normal person's knowledge of all these subjects uh and is both
so funny but also can sort of function as an audience surrogate. I think it's not the special sauce.
It's the bun.
It's the bread that holds the sandwich together.
But I just need to restate at all times,
it is really not a bit.
Even if you know that what you're about to say is funny,
these are actual thoughts and opinions you have.
You're choosing to share them and frame them within a comedic context.
But hanging out with Ben off microphone is pretty similar to hanging out with Ben on microphone.
Yes.
Correct.
I want to weigh in on that clip from a different perspective, which is it reminded me that we did those Matrix episodes very close together.
Yeah. me that we did those matrix episodes very close together yeah remember that and we had to cut the
third one short because shannon o'neill was outside basically banging on the door saying
like get the fuck out i gotta record my show oh right yeah and so anytime anyone's like oh they've
already talked about the matrix like we had to rush the end of the third episode there's still
plenty to say guys there's still plenty to say, guys.
There's still plenty more to say.
I will say this, too.
I watched The Matrix a couple weeks ago with a friend who had never seen The Matrix before,
an experience I've been searching for for a little bit to see someone enter The Matrix now.
Who hadn't seen The Matrix?
My friend Lexi, who now has.
my friend Lexi who now has but but even watching it with her I was like oh I would do a much better matrix episode today than I did five years ago 100% both in terms of just being a better podcaster
knowing what our show is uh the fact that that matrix episode was presumably like 90 minutes
long is insane to think about now anytime we we cover an episode, a movie that culturally big,
the episode tends to be five hours.
But also I just feel like even,
Matrix is one of those perfect cultural objects
in that it's a perfectly made film
that somehow only gets better
relative to whatever's going on in the world.
It is speaking to such universal truths
that whatever shifts in society,
somehow Matrix reflects it in some interesting way.
So it'd be interesting to talk about them again,
and maybe if the fourth movie ever gets finished,
we'll go back and we'll do them on Patreon.
Hell yeah.
So I thought we could play another message
from our mother, Emily Yoshida.
Hello, Griffin. Hello, David. This is Emily Yoshida, aka the mother of blankies, calling
in from Hollywood, California. It's a gorgeous day out here in sunny LA today. I just finished
punching up a third act issue and, you know and maybe I'll take a walk around and pick a coconut off a tree or something.
I don't know.
Something like that.
Well, Hollywood just changed me, as I'm sure you know, you've noticed.
But you know I still remember my roots.
I'll never forget recording a podcast with you, sweating in a closet while Griffin had a flu or that other time recording a podcast with you sweating in a closet while Ben had the flu or maybe you might have been hungover or something.
I can't remember.
So, you know, in these challenging times, I'd just like to thank the Blank Check podcast personally for collectively strengthening my immune system.
Oh, also, while I have you, would love to circle back some time regarding my treatment for the feature film Untitled Bambino Project. I think it would make a really exciting addition
to the blank check slate,
and I'm pretty sure the Borgato
would let us shoot there at a discount.
So hit me back whenever you're able.
Would love to hop on the phone,
on a Zoom, whatever you're comfortable with.
Grab some Joe virtually.
You know, I'd love to make this happen.
I think it's a story that needs to be told well.
Happy 200, boys.
And to all blankies, happy 200.
Mother loves you very much.
Have a good day.
Bye-bye.
I miss Emily I mean
she just stayed at my house for a week like
a month ago or whenever that was but I still miss her
and we got an episode
banked up we have Yoshida's
return to New York
all saved up no Skype
or Zoom necessary
yeah she's I mean of course she's a great friend of the show, but also, right, I mean,
she's basically on episode zero.
That is the one, the second, fucking, what's it called?
Force Awakens episode.
That was sort of the beginning of everything.
That was the beginning of us thinking we were blank check.
I mean, essentially rebranding the podcast
and also outside of the judge,
judging the judge and the podcastic four,
one of which is good, one of which is not.
That was really the first episode
where we were dropping the high concept shit
and the show was loose and fun
and I think kind of established the tone that
we would have uh going forward so not only did she uh name our uh our listeners but she also
really helped us figure out what the show was as we kept moving i mean there are a couple people
who really like you know uh ben and todd obviously are responsible for giving us the chance to even
do this in the first place.
And Emily really helped form the show.
But the two other people who we credit a lot, but they deserve all the credit in the world,
who I think are responsible for you and I being friends, David,
are Alyssa Stanoa, who didn't even know this until I DM'd her recently to say,
Hey, have I ever...
Did you ever realize that you're the only reason David and I are friends
and have been doing a podcast together for five years?
Um,
uh,
three busy Deborah's coming to adult swim soon.
And,
and pilot Virouette,
uh,
on the war horse episode.
Uh,
they are the one trivia.
Yeah.
Invited you to trivia.
And if not for trivia,
we probably never would have started hanging out as much as we did.
And we never would have developed the rapport that has lasted us these these five long years
trivia and the short running time of the bling ring i would say yeah that saved us really if
the bling ring had been 220 this podcast might not have ever existed i'm yeah i would have gotten
that text as i was we were leaving the theater i would have been like oh pilot texted me 40 minutes ago saying to go to ah forget it you know like instead we were
like you know what let's do it i don't know if we've ever talked about this either in the many
times that we re-mythologize our beginning but when you got the text from pilot saying do you
want to come to this movie trivia night? We were at a different trivia night.
We were.
I think we have talked about it.
We were at a bad trivia.
We went to a bar to get a drink and they just plopped a trivia, you know, question, you know, a piece of paper in front of our faces.
And you went, do you want to stay?
And I went, yeah, I like trivia.
We should do this.
And you went, OK, let's stay.
And we stayed.
But it was like, what's the capital of Bolivia?
Yeah, it was not like particularly involved trivia.
But I mean, the sliding doors,
if we had stayed there at that trivia night,
maybe we'd be hosting Pod Save America instead, you know?
Oh boy, we'd be telling Mr. Trump
that the line is here and you will not cross it.
I don't know, isn't that what they do now?
He is not a good president.
I haven't listened to Pod Save America in quite a while.
I'm going to say it.
That guy's got to shape up or ship out.
And I mean it.
I've had it up to here with Mr. Trump.
Let's not start any more podcast beefs.
Yeah.
Ben, do we have another clip?
We do.
Well, I thought we could just play a few moments with Chris Gethard.
And we also have a really great moment from Miyazaki's miniseries where David Rees, I think, really blew everybody away with his assessment of spirited
away the stepfather of blankies himself that's true all right so uh we're gonna get into some
of those clips now all right all right okay here we go this is good this is good matthew wood
as general grievous fail now you wanted to talk about it.
Wait for this one.
What a fucking piece of shit character.
What a pile of shit performance.
What an insulting to everybody's fucking intelligence,
both intellectually and emotionally speaking.
What a fucking train wreck character,
skittering around on the floor like a little fucking jerk
when you're supposed to be this person everybody's chasing? How did this person
rise to prominence in any army?
Why are the Jedi so obsessed with getting this
bumbling fool that can't do anything right?
None of it makes sense. The performance
is deplorable. I hate it.
I hate everything about General Grievous.
Three fails here, no question.
I'm also going to give him my LVP.
I'm going to give him my award for least valuable player.
I didn't give out a most valuable player. I don't know who I'd
give it to. I guess I'm going to have to think about that. It might be
Sam Jackson.
As what? As your MVP?
I'm wondering who the MVP is. Yeah, I got mine.
Alright, so I think this might be it.
Is it Ben Cook as Kit Fisto?
Ding, ding,
ding.
Kit Fisto is the shit.
Did you sense from the Ki-Adi-Mundi-Plo-Kloon obsession?
Yeah, I got it.
Is there a character in these movies that you see less of,
that you want more of, more than Kit Fisto?
In the second one, in the third one,
give me my Fisto.
What's the deal?
He looks cool, acts cool.
Everything about Kit Fisto is fucking cool.
Carries this film.
Carries this film.
Absolute MVP. Without this,
without the
keystone that is Kit Fisto, this
whole movie crumbles. Kit Fisto
by far, by
far, you get this sense. I could
tell you, I saw Kit Fisto for
roughly four seconds in this film.
Here's what I know.
Kit Fisto, Jedi Master, yeah, but probably on the younger side,
probably on the more rebellious side,
goes off and does Kit Fisto's thing a little too often
for the Jedi Council's comfort, but gets things done his own way.
Maybe he doesn't need the clones as much as others.
Maybe he's one of the ones that's voiced some discontent about,
why are we relying on this?
Because it's easy. That's never been our way.
Kit Fisto is someone who gets out in the field, does his own thing.
Kit Fisto doesn't care if he needs to go undercover, clandestine,
for months, even years at a time.
Kit Fisto gets the job done.
Maybe Kit Fisto doesn't play nice with others.
Maybe Kit Fisto doesn't get along with everybody all the time.
He doesn't play the politics.
He doesn't play the game.
He goes and he gets it done like a Jedi.
Kit Fisto, MVP, now
always
Serac. Wow.
Just to clarify for you guys, he's
the guy with the green treadlocks.
He's got big
black bug eyes. Big bug
eyes. And treadlocks.
In the second movie, I think he pushes someone over,
a droid over, and he's got like
six fingers. No, but he's got like six fingers.
No, but he's running like a motherfucker.
When they go inside that big stadium that's very convenient for the fucking battle, he's running like, I'm going to fuck shit up.
And he's psyched that he gets to do it.
Kit Fisto seems, you know what it seems like?
Like every Jedi master has a stretch before he's a master where he just gets real into the fact that he can fuck shit up.
And I get the sense that Kit Fisto
is right in that phase.
He hasn't settled down yet.
It's not about wisdom.
It's about fucking shit up.
And talk about tragedy.
Cut down on the prime of his life.
I mean, you're saying this is a man
with only potential ahead of him.
My guess is that if you, like,
I would have to,
because I'd have to imagine
that these Jedi as individuals
are legendary characters,
like, you know, like baseball players or basketball players are to us when we're kids.
And I have to imagine, I don't think Kit Fisto's the LeBron James.
That's probably Yoda, right?
Yeah, sure, right.
And then you've got Kevin Durant is probably Mace Windu.
Yeah.
Ki-Adi Mundi is probably...
I think he's DeMarcus Cousins.
He's like a DeMarcus Cousins.
Wait, wait, wait, how the fuck did you do this?
You're talking about basketball.
Yeah, DeMarcus Cousins.
But wait, who's your Kit Fisto then? He's like an Iguodala?ins. Wait, wait, wait. How the fuck did you do this? You're talking about basketball. Yeah, Demarcus Cousins. But wait, who's your Kit Fisto then?
He's like an Iguodala?
Westbrook.
Oh, that's great.
Kit Fisto is Westbrook all day.
Yeah.
All day.
He just brings the thunder.
Tell me that doesn't make sense.
No, no, it makes total sense.
Kit Fisto is the Jedi Russell Westbrook.
He's someone who approaches his job with joy and energy and fury.
And he's a wrecking ball.
But that being, it's like, but here's the thing.
Like.
But he needs to be pulled back sometimes.
And a surprisingly high assist rate.
You think he's a wrecking ball and a ball hog,
but guess what? Serge Ibaka
is not hitting corner threes
without Westbrook going one on four
and drawing all the attention. But Kit Fisto
enters situation. You know what he is?
He's responsible Anakin.
Yeah. So you think
maybe they should have just invested the Anakin money
right in Kit Fisto
I want to see a movie
about Kit Fisto
do you want to see it
with Ki-Adi-Mundi
and Plo Kloon
yeah
maybe the three of them
hanging out
tell me you wouldn't
watch a movie
of course I'd watch that movie
are you kidding me
Jedi Wrecking Crew
those are the three
everybody wants to see
so do you want to know
something interesting
about Ben Cook
who plays Kit Fisto
Plo Kloon is like
the snake eyes from G.I. Joe.
Yeah.
He's Snake Eyes.
Uh-huh.
Now, I just want to show you.
Here's a picture of Ben Cook.
Tell me everything.
Here he is.
What does that guy look like to you?
Who does he look like to you?
Jason Statham.
Guess who he is.
Jason Statham's stunt double?
Boom.
Oh, my God.
He plays Jason Statham's stunt double?
He's Jason Statham's stunt double in like so many movies.
Wow, man.
This dude.
And he's a fight coordinator in a lot of movies.
Other people obsessed with Kit Fisto?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
I think Kit Fisto is a real, because his look, you know?
The best.
There's like a big Kit Fisto following online.
I'm really glad.
Is there any place I can get more info on Kit Fisto?
Wikipedia.
Wikipedia will tell you lots about Kit Fisto.
And are there comic books and shit?
I think so.
Do we know?
Yeah.
There's expanded universe Kit Fisto.
I want to read all the Kit Fisto. We're basically done, but there? I think so. Do we know? Yeah. There's Expanded Universe Kit Fisto. I want to read all
the Kit Fisto. We're basically done, but there are
two performances. Come on. We're not done. We're just getting started.
We just got the Fisto. There are two performances
I really want to highlight. It's a great name, too.
Kit. Kit. Single syllable.
Strong. Kit. It's not like
Plockvar or one of these dumb fucking
Busby, whatever these fucking dumb
George Lucas names are. His name's not Plockvar
or Busby. It's Kit Fisto.
Oh, my God.
Fisto.
He's a Jedi.
He's a fighter.
It makes sense.
Even Plo Kloon is pushing.
Ki-Yi-Mun-Rad name.
Plo Kloon right on the edge.
Yeah, yeah.
Kit Fisto?
Tell me more.
I think this is a record of someone having an encounter with the sublime.
Yes.
Right.
Yes. Right. Yes.
Right.
Which I think this movie, even like there's a lot about this movie I don't understand.
And there's a lot about this movie that's opaque to me.
But I understand how someone could watch this movie and just feel like this is on a whole different level.
Yes.
You know, there's something about it that is just, I don't know if it's the dream logic
or just some of those incredible images, you know, but it's just like, this is six out
of five stars.
Yeah.
I also think the key difference is I have had encounters with the sublime that I completely
understand would not connect for most people.
Right.
But I watched Spirited Away and I'm like, this movie is capturing the sublime for two
hours.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Even if I am not as in on it as perhaps Nigel is.
Right.
Which, let me say, I think this movie is great.
I think it's a masterpiece.
I love it.
I feel like I need to watch it eight more times.
It was weird to me not having seen it since 2002.
When I would run it in my head, I'd be like, I barely remember any of that movie.
And as I watched it everything was
you're like oh I do actually remember this
every element suddenly I was like wait I know the score
I know the images
pretty much the greatest score
the score is pretty incredible
but I was like I had no sort of
replay recall in my head before rewatching it
and all unfolded like
this experience of
I feel like
very often I wake up and I don't remember my own dreams.
Right. And then something
happens over the course of the day. And you go back
yeah totally. And suddenly the entire
dream comes flooding back to me
and it's very emotionally overwhelming
where I'm like right in my dream
someone held my hand.
And now that someone has held my hand in real life
I'm remembering this
dream where i was in like the fires of hell in your hand sorry retired bit um whatever the thing
is right and watching this felt like that where i'm like emotionally overwhelmed with the idea of
this thing that was sort of like buried deep in my unconscious which i had not connected with before
right had no emotional connection to the last last time I saw it, now suddenly having this tremendous weight
and feeling like it was this unspoken thing that had been laying dormant.
I think that's why this movie is so powerful.
And I think, and I mean, I should preface all this by saying,
I don't know enough about Japanese culture to really understand everything that's going on in this movie,
but we can talk about that in a minute.
But what I wanted to say was, I think one of the
reasons this movie is so powerful is because it always does, at least to me, feel a little bit
beyond my kin, so to speak. There's always a reaching quality. And so when you come back to it,
it does have that same kind of strange, surreal authority that a dream can have over you,
have that same kind of strange surreal authority that a dream can have over you which is again almost like the same notion of the sublime this is just a little beyond what you'll ever be able
to understand and when you watch it again it's like oh my god i'm back in that dream space you
know what i mean i think that's what i think that's why the movie can be so powerful how are you doing ang great feeling good i don't have
like a back you guys are all at like desks of some kind i do have a back in my room so i was
like trying to like set up like a like a leaning situation and like i'm my laptop's on like a tv
dinner stand right now you're killing it and, Anne. Thanks, I'm trying.
So guys, what are some of our favorite old bits?
So like one bit I remember I totally forgot about
is handing out cards.
Remember I used to give like yellow cards and red cards?
Death card is one of your best moments ever.
The death card was a big moment.
Yeah, I gotta bring that back.
People have asked about the cards.
They've asked where they went.
Totally forgot. And then Griffin, you had your soapbox bit. yeah i gotta ask about the cards they've asked where they went totally forgot and then griffin
you had your soapbox bit oh right yes remember the foley work for the soapbox yes but you would
have to go upstairs and it would take a really long time and david would always be like oh my god
that bit's been replaced with uh every ad read I think that same function is achieved
with every ad read.
The boss to on with it.
Get it out enough already.
I've used the soapbox bit on Twitter.
I think it's like an easily
translatable.
Just like, ahem.
Another one I thought of
is remember when you guys kept going,
blue, brown. We're doing the batman
episodes oh yeah uh talking about the color palette of each movie color palette sure the
nolan the nolan series brought out a lot of silliness in a surprising way that's when we
started at audio boom yes yes ben you had gotten hired over to audio boom uh and we left
the ucb uh podcast network to follow you there uh but all of that was happening also while i was
filming the tick it was sort of a pileup of things that happened all at once uh and so those episodes
were all recorded at like weird times or days off or weekends when
i was uh really stressed out and overworked and we had fewer guests on that mini series because of
that and i think those episodes uh are some of people's favorites because uh some sometimes the
show is at its best when we are kind of going crazy. Yeah, it's sadly true.
Well, I think a lot like, you know, when directors are like limited in certain ways, I think sometimes if we don't have guests or like a particularly fascinating movie to talk about, not that Nolan's not fascinating.
It allows you guys to get creative and silly and weird. Like, the inception, when I remember, I have, like, a vivid memory of, like,
walking home and realizing that Ben
was, like, adding in, like, the layers
and you guys were each, like, falling back
and just, like, hearing you all go, like,
ahhh, was pretty fantastic.
Should we listen to that?
We should.
I mean, for context,
I was resistant to doing Nolan.
It was when we were going to do Michael Bay.
When people sussed out through hints on Mike that we were going to do Michael Bay, they started objecting.
So then we pivoted to Nolan quickly.
And I didn't want to do it because I thought he's too big.
He's had too many hits.
It's not interesting to talk about.
We had mostly covered filmmakers who had had big
ups and downs at that point. And Spielberg was something of an exception, but we also covered
the period of his career that was weirder. So I was sort of resistant to Nolan. And the thing that
finally won me over was in our text chain. Ben said, what about the Inception episode?
Podcast within a podcast. And I went, fine, I give give up and then you and i started planning how we
were going to do that episode it was a classic blank check structure where you and i plan a
dumb thing don't tell david about it yep and test his tolerance for the dumb thing that we are
foisting upon him my favorite but i also think it think it opened up the show a little bit,
both in terms of how silly things got,
and also in terms of, this really
doesn't have to be a bad movie podcast.
It doesn't have to be a podcast about people failing.
It can be a more generous
thing of just sort of trying to figure out a person
and their work, and talking about these movies
and their cultural place. I think it
freed us up a lot.
Okay, Inception.
Inception.
So he makes Inception, and it comes out, and people like it.
Yeah.
Okay, well, good up.
Wait a second.
Ben, what's that?
Is there a leak in the ceiling?
I feel like it's just rubble that's... Oh, my God.
What's going on here in the studio?
Ben, what's going on?
This is great so far
I mean, wait, what's happening?
It feels like the podcast is collapsing
Oh my god, is the room
falling apart?
Oh my god
Ben, we just started talking about the movie
How are we going to get...
Wait, are you guys telling me that the room's falling apart?
The podcast is collapsing.
Oh, God.
We have to go deeper?
We've got to go deeper.
Can we go into a podcast in a podcast?
Yeah, I guess we're going to.
Okay, let's plug in, guys.
Ben, don't be too shaken up.
We can do this.
Thank God I brought my dream suitcase.
Okay, here we go.
Great suitcase.
All right.
How do I just instantly fall asleep?
You just put the thing on your arm.
I never really figured it out.
Okay, cool.
Cool, cool.
Just count sheep.
You mustn't be afraid to podcast a little bigger, darling.
Oh, good.
There you go. Another great line. I'm, darling. Oh, good. There you go.
Another great line.
I'm Griffin Newman.
Oh, great.
David Sims.
Welcome to Blank Check with Griffin and David.
This is a mini-series called The Pod Night Cast, and today we're talking about the movie
Inception.
Okay, so the movie starts.
It starts with Leonardo DiCaprio washing up on a beach.
Yeah.
Right?
That's the first thing. Yeah. Oh, I should just apologize in advance if we have some sound problems. We are recording from the back on a beach. Yeah. Right? That's the first thing.
Yeah.
Oh, I should just apologize in advance
if we have some sound problems.
We are recording from the back of a van right now.
Sorry, I'm going to take a sharp turn, guys.
Hold on.
It's fine.
What great performers we all are.
I mean, truly, though.
Is the podcast collapsing?
Talking about David becoming sillier on the show
for someone who, dare I say it, never made a Harold team, never made a Lloyd team.
Oh, that's an old bit.
That is an old bit that multiple people who don't know what it means texted me being like, can you stop doing that bit?
I don't know what it means.
Kind of the reason we stopped doing that bit.
Yeah.
I thought it was funny.
stopped doing that bit yeah but it was funny david truly didn't know what we had planned for that episode and he was not hearing those sound effects in real time so he's just hearing the two of us
saying those dumb things describing what's happening and doing a lot of physical actouts
we were both acting it out physically yes because we had to make it real for him in the room but
david like a great improviser was just yesing. He was accepting the reality and he was rolling with it.
Even if you can hear him rolling his eyes at the same time.
Yes.
That episode, Rebecca Boulness, friend of the show, and someone who became a friend of the show through her listening to the show, her starting to write about it on AV Club.
her listening to the show her starting to write about it on av club then we started communicating with her on twitter and she eventually came on the show and has become an irl friend to all of us
um we love her but the best uh that episode she put as it was the top episode on pod mess that
week on the av club where we were like the headline yeah huge huge one of those things that just kind of like
especially back then oh those three long years ago it was something that could overnight kind
of like make a podcast especially within that sort of sphere and she had very generously covered us a
couple times through our Cameron Crowe and the Wachowski and Shyamalan series.
But then that was the main headline.
The photo was Griffin and David finally tackle Inception.
And the moment that I realized that could be a headline on a V Club and not be gibberish,
you know, not in a self-important important way but that there were enough people listening to our show that people could see that headline and it would mean something was um it was one of those
moments david you and i both big podcast fans i you know i think we both thought about doing
podcasts in our lives but weren't necessarily specifically driving towards that in our careers
um but i think that was a towards that in our careers.
But I think that was a moment that was kind of very surreal,
like pinched me of like, this feels like we're a real thing now.
Now, can we talk about, of course,
the most important bit in the history of podcasts that I think we're talking around?
I'm sure. What is it?
I don't know if you folks are aware of this,
but David grew up in england
wait what how did i forget that that's what you were queuing up
david sims who speaks with an american accent right get my passport was born in new york city
he doesn't even wear petticoats. He doesn't even.
Spent most of his adolescence in London, England.
And David has truly walked off camera.
He left.
Whoa.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
This has never come up on the podcast.
That's why I felt like we had to save this for the fifth anniversary as a big reveal.
David is currently leafing through his UK passport.
He's holding it up to the camera.
It's real, folks.
This is no bit, unless he is committing passport forgery,
this is a real EU passport.
Oh, my God, David Lawrence, Sam.
Well, but EU, you're not in the EU anymore.
Well, I'm going to need a fucking new one because of brexit
but right now i have the eu one uh here's a question and posted on the reddit a couple weeks
or maybe a month or two back uh asking people for things they want to see or hear in the fifth
anniversary episode and here's an interesting thing to discuss because i don't know if we've
really talked about this just a nice little little bonus trivia fact to give our listeners. I laugh alone, which I believe is the great
Emilio Diaz, right? Correct. He said, have you ever been close to getting a miniseries subject
or a star of the film you are covering to be on the episode. I don't think we've ever come close with a star,
but we have twice gotten within shouting distance of getting a director on. We multiple times were
at least in the preliminary conversations with Ang Lee's people and with M. Night Shyamalan's people.
And David has switched to a different background photo
that is now Colin Farrell and Gong Lee in Miami Vice.
But this is true, and it's not a thing we talked about,
and maybe someday we'll make it happen.
Yeah, I guess we have talked about Shyamalan.
I guess Ang Lee, we never talked about that.
We'll see. Hopefully it'll happen one day.
A couple times we were looped in with shamalans
uh with with the marketing team for glass when that movie was we talked about that we did we
did acknowledge that one we got close to doing it we almost interviewed him live and then uh
engley uh almost did our live show with james shamus uh but he was working on something overseas
he was getting an honorary award in like taiwan or something but i but he was working on something overseas. He was getting an honorary award
in Taiwan or something.
But I believe he was also producing that
award show. Well, alright.
He's a hard-working guy.
Look, he's not going to get an award without producing
the damn show. But he relayed
a message to us that he would
have been there were he in the country.
And then when Gemini
Man was coming out, both when it was coming out theatrically and when
it was coming out on home video we were talking with the marketing team.
Look we've gotten somewhat close and they're the two who feel the closest and hopefully
someday we'll make it happen.
The two guys I almost would be most curious to speak to, especially Shyamalan, who in his assessment of his career
the last couple of years, I think has a similar perspective
on his career as to how we sort of talked about him on the show.
I want Spielberg.
He should come on.
Spielberg on blank check.
I would sit down with the bearded one.
I would.
Now, we were talking Shyamalan,
who is the first director, right?
We covered after the Star Wars days.
And I thought we could play some messages
from some friends of the show
who were really early on,
started being guests,
and were people that are now in the five-timer club.
Oh, some five-timers. Let's play the clip.
My favorite movie is WALL-E.
Why is your favorite movie WALL-E?
Because it's really funny.
Hi, Griffin and David and Ben. This is Katie and Charlie.
Charlie, can you say hi?
Hi.
The last time you heard Charlie on the show,
we were on the Titanic episode. Charlie was a tiny baby. Do you remember going to record in a recording studio with me, Charlie? Yeah. Yeah, you do. Since then, Charlie has seen a lot of
movies. Charlie, have you seen Giantic? What happens in that movie? The boat sinks into the
water. It does sinks into the water.
It does sink into the water. But that's not your favorite movie.
Your favorite movie is WALL-E? Yeah.
Who's your favorite robot in WALL-E?
I like WALL-E.
What other movies do you like?
The short movies.
The short movies?
Yeah.
What about...Sing!
Yeah!
Do you like going to the movie theater? The short movies? Yeah. What about... Sing! Yeah! Yeah!
Do you like going to the movie theater?
Yeah.
What do you do at the movie theater?
You are in the audience.
Yeah.
And is it a big screen or a little screen?
A big screen.
And what do you eat?
Popcorn.
Popcorn.
We wanted to say thank you and congratulations on five years.
A special thank you to letting me bring a baby into the recording studio.
I can't believe you let me do it.
And thank you for having me back after that.
Maybe Charlie and I can be on again in five more years when Charlie will be a big kid and watch big kid movies um
do you want to say anything else charlie no okay happy anniversary guys
hello simsy and griffey and benny this is your friend richard the kevin feige of the
troll cinematic omniverse i wanted to say happy fifth anniversary and congratulations on such a
successful joyfully ridiculous podcast listening to your show and being a guest on your show Yeah, we should acknowledge my trolls, as they and I, their malevolent creator, will always support you.
Yeah, we should acknowledge that the trolls have a significant financial stake in the show.
They really do. We don't know how, but they're somehow venture funding a lot of the operation.
We're in the pocket of big troll.
a big troll uh and yes uh the trolls as a collective much like uh how uh wisconsin owns the green bay packers yeah right uh we we are are largely owned by the trolls as a collective
man it was good to hear charlie's voice i haven't seen charlie baltas since he was about two years
old i saw him last summer and then he was in a phase where he
just called everything yellow any color you'd ask him what colors were but he would always just say
it was yellow and clearly he's just only you know growing by leaps and bounds yeah it's weird the
way he's uh growing as time progresses it's insane can we also appreciate that she said he would
listen to big kid movies when he's five years older as if Griffin doesn't still watch movies that he would have?
He basically has one of your favorite movies is his favorite movie.
I'm glad he upgraded because for a while Sing was his favorite movie and for a while before that it was Cars 3.
And I think we're finally getting to the real good stuff.
Yeah, some auteur shit.
Look, I'm willing to call
him our second finest film critic. I think
Charlie Balthus, in addition to being our
youngest ever guest, is the second finest
film critic. And we will have him back
on the show. Yeah. We will.
You know, a thing we have floated
out that now might be a little bit
further off just because of where the world
is at, but one
of our ideas for our eventual trip
to disney in order to cover galaxy's edge is to make a little pit stop to visit uh katie and
charlie and do a little episode with them uh we would do maybe a charlie's choice or a commentary
or something with charlie uh so you know he'll he'll join the two-timers club eventually. And, uh, Katie Richard, little gold man, listen to it, read them on Vanity Fair,
two of our finest, two people who we would not be such close friends with if not for trivia as well.
Uh, it's kind of crazy how many of our recurring guests are either people we met through trivia,
uh, people who we knew online, but we, uh, invited to trivia. And that was the first people we met through trivia, people who we knew online, but we invited
to trivia and that was the first time we met them in real life, or previous friends of
ours who joined us for trivia once or twice and then became closer friends.
It really is our sort of social nexus for this show still.
I miss trivia.
I miss trivia.
Right now I miss everything.
I miss literally everything outside
of my window i think this is a good time to say that ang rules used to be my sweet lover does
it's always a good time to say that yeah i'm so so happy that we met you and you became a part of the show
and now at this point five years you're able to really take on so much more of a role with the
show and all that you've done to grow uh social media for the show and like assistance you've
provided to me and i just really feel like you have brought your own voice to this show
in such a great way.
And I love you, Ange.
And so, so thankful to have you part of Blank Check.
Thanks, Ben.
I love you guys too.
We love you and you're the best.
And you have helped the show in so many incalculable ways but
also uh it's been such a pleasure uh becoming friends with you you are someone we have met
solely through doing the podcast and it was a happenstance thing you know that you happened
to be interning at the time that we were sort of getting our sea legs and that uh we noticed your
tweets and how much better they were than our tweets.
And when your internship ended,
we said, if you want to keep doing this,
we will pay you whenever we figure out how to make money off of this.
And for a long time,
I've been thanking you at the end of every episode
saying thanks to Andrew for social media.
But that has been reductive for a lot of that time that was
initially your only responsibility with the show but more and more over time you have been taking
on more and more responsibility and your voice has been affecting all areas of the show and you're
looped in on all areas of planning and and sort of bigger picture strategy and and now are starting to appear uh on microphone on the show more often
um but but you are you know ang is uh this is i guess as good a time as any to make the announcement
the ang is uh a producer on the show now uh ang is sort of full-time team blank check uh as we
are figuring out how to keep this thing going
and what else we can grow it into
and how to make it bigger and better.
The barracuda.
The barracuda.
The tweeter.
The tweeter.
I'm trying to think.
Anjin the pussycat.
That sounds good. You guys are the Pussycats That sounds good
You guys are with my Pussycats
Yeah
Let's hear a clip from that episode
That was the first episode you appeared on right Ange
Oh god yeah
You guys gave me a choice to pick whatever I wanted
And I went for Josie and the Pussycats
So Wyatt turns them into
The next du jour.
Number one.
The next thing.
The du jour du jour.
I was going to say,
I love that they hide
within the cut.
That's a bit of a time jump.
The fact that he actually
hasn't heard them at all.
Yeah.
He was shown because
he's having the conversation
with them.
They go to the bathroom
and they go,
but he's never listened
to our music yet.
He presents them
the contract.
Right.
I was here with real
rock stars who wanted to wreck a deal.
Funny.
So good in this.
He's so good.
Where is his Oscar?
Where is his Oscar?
For this performance, him and we'll get to Parker and spend hopefully like 20 minutes on her.
Yeah, sure.
That's what we need to do.
We need to spend 20 minutes on her.
My brother Jamesy.
Sure.
I remember him coming home being dropped off.
The great Jamesy. Sure. I remember him coming home being dropped off. The great James Newman.
Coming home being dropped off by his friend's mom who had taken him and his friend to go see Josie and the Pussycats on a play date.
Fair.
And she was telling my parents how bad the movie was.
What?
And she was like, Alan Cumming, it's embarrassing.
I have no idea why he did this after Cabaret.
He's such a good actor.
And that woman was married to a
record executive.
So you think maybe she couldn't see the forest from the
trees though? Kind of, because it's like this performance
is fucking dead on.
Yeah. He's fantastic.
What a perfect comedic pitch.
Yeah. And then we
quickly fast, they get successful.
Of course, there's a little montage and then find the charts.
Find the charts. It's funny.
Very quickly followed by, isn't it crazy?
This has all happened in one week.
So funny.
So funny.
I also love.
No.
There's the shot when they see the billboard in Times Square where they're rebranded as
Josie and the Pussycats.
What do you want to read?
A comic book.
Go watch an animated series.
Go see a motion picture of Josie and the Pussycats.
But they.
Prior to that says, would you rather go see the Pussycats. But they... Prior to that says,
would you rather go see
the Pussycats?
Yeah, right.
Or...
Three fierce, ferocious ladies.
Yeah.
They have this beautiful,
like, matte-painted Times Square.
Right.
Where they don't even, like,
take Times Square
and put fake billboards over it.
They compress all of Times Square
into one corner.
Right. So it's literally, like, you can't see anything but screens and billboards over it they can press all of Times Square into one corner right so it's
literally like you can't
see anything but
screens and billboards
it's a crazy made up
New York it looks like
Akira or something it's
like unbelievable this
movie's great and
they're in their
beautiful like loft
apartment we should
like and as we've
already noted a million
times any scene there
is some sort of
product placement in
the background basically
somewhere yeah oh
wow I forgot that Josie and the Pussycats
is the greatest movie ever
made such a good movie just re-listening
to that clip
and as if I wasn't already
all in on Andrew Guto
at that point in the podcast
I had played the idle
mind game of
what if I ever did a Griffin's Choice episode
not that we would ever need that because
the whole fucking podcast is david nye's taste uh but but what if i like ben had to pick a one-off
that never would necessarily fit into a miniseries and josie and the pussycats was probably my answer
and then you picked that ang and uh it's it's solidified that you're you belong in this family and is a very good
writer above all else and I think saying that you are a social media person even
though we are now properly crediting you as a co-producer of the show and
acknowledging all the other things you do but it's not like you're just the
person timing the post you are writing things that are so in line with the voice of the show,
and that's what made us notice you.
Yeah, right.
I mean, I think before the Josie and the Pussycats episode,
the time that we had hung out in person
were almost always like a business meeting.
Like, let's get coffee and strategize
and catch you up on the state of the show.
But that was the start of us all becoming more friends,
the four of us together
right hanging out and texting about movies we might sound a little vague talking about this
right now but it's mostly just because uh the world's kind of on pause uh but we've been talking
a lot about like our plans for the future of this show but also kind of what we want to do beyond
the show and not in terms of oh we
should sell a book or make a tv show because who the fuck cares that's not what this is about but
trying to find a way to expand what we've been able to do and the fact that we've been able to
build a little functioning economy about it around it um and the most uh you know satisfying part of
that is not just being able to like give ang a
full-time job but also people like joe bowen who was just a listener of the show who sent us fan
art and we've been able to pay him to make more and more art for us which we use for merchandise
and pat reynolds who does our photoshopped um you know lane mont, with their theme song, these people trying to be able to repay them for
the time that they put into it.
Especially because
all of us started out doing this
just for fun.
Not being paid any money.
And the people who have joined our
family also just started doing
things out of kindness, or out
of passion or interest, but
there was nothing at stake.
And I want to live in a world where people can get repaid for working hard and being kind and
sticking around. And we want to try to be able to extend that a little bit. Ideally,
in the abstract, we want to be able to make some other shows with our friends,
with the people who you hear on the podcast a lot, with the people who are in our ecosystem,
not start a network or anything, but maybe a little production company. And that's sort of
what we've been planning for a little bit. And it's still the plan. It might take a little bit and it's still the plan uh it might take a little longer to get off the ground um but
the hope is that we can build this into a little economy that makes it easier for people to get
podcasts going 100% now yeah i i kind of thought it would be fun to maybe talk to you guys about
sort of just the run of like the marvel movies you know i think we're more or less we've recorded
and wrapped on star wars and just sort of like our thoughts on how the that that like uh franchise
commentary series has been going i mean i think uh we we waited a while to do a patreon because
we didn't want to do it unless we felt like we had a good idea for what made it different from
the main feed without taking something away from the main feed.
And also a way to feasibly record that much extra audio a month.
Because if we were going to do it, we wanted to offer people a lot for their money.
But the thing that's nice about it is I think it's hard to go home again.
The show naturally evolves.
It changes and it morphs. And if we
tried to keep it in the same place, uh, it would be disingenuous because all of our lives have
changed in the last five years and we've changed as people and the world's changed around us and
all of that. But there's something about doing the Patreon commentaries, especially because
they're just on a couch and they feel kind of low stakes, even though there is a lot of money at stake that people are literally
betting on those episodes being good um they are able to feel a little bit more like the early
star wars episodes i think yeah it's been so fun i loved big nice it's not the rip big nice it was
one of the great places uh terrific place but uh you know it's not like
the main blank check has become incredibly formal or structured but it's nice to have
another feed where we can do sort of uh weirder stuff and get looser and have it be more of a
hangout show you know what i will say um over the over the many many episodes i've had to cut
out stuff to protect griffin's career did you not cut anything out oh no why was i supposed to i
thought you were joking no you yourself just said you had to cut things out to protect my career
that was the deal we made yeah but it was a bit it was like a bit i thought it was it was a bit no it wasn't a bit it's a no bits podcast oh i forgot it's a no bits podcast griffin i'm really sorry
i have a little post-it here what's that well now it says no i understand i forgot to look at it
okay yeah okay well now i fucking understand the feedback i got on my jurassic world dominion
audition now i get it.
So now you'll never have Dominion?
Thanks for telling me.
Well, I'm not anymore.
I thought I did a great tape.
Oh, geez, Louise.
Okay, here was a thing someone asked about on the Reddit
that I want to speed round really quickly
just for the sake of getting messy.
Because so much of a running bit on this podcast
has been me saying
things that jeopardize my career not really a bit not really a bit it has increasingly become a
thing where i get an audition email and i go i don't know if i can go in for that knowing what
i just said on mike and at least one time when we had to cut something out right after i booked a
job yeah yeah but someone asked in the thread alongside, you know, what things did you come close to doing?
What guests did you almost have on the show?
The guests that we almost have and hadn't had, I think we've named all of them.
But Max Minghella and Jamie Bell, who you will have on at some time.
James Urbaniak, who we came close to recording with, we will have on at some time.
I don't think there are any sort of secret near gets.
My dad.
Right.
Robert Hosley, we will have on at some point.
The mythical Where's Papa episode.
Right.
Yes.
COVID-19 survivor, Antonio Dauphin.
Okay, but what else was there?
Someone asked if I could rattle off jobs I almost got.
Oh, this is fun.
So I'm just going to speed around this, okay got. Oh, this is fun.
So I'm just going to speed around this, okay?
Alright, let's go.
Obvious one I discuss a lot, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, playing young Neil.
I got weirdly
close. It was the most
panicked I've ever been about my career
to playing Ken Jeong's
role in Ride Along 2,
which was originally written it was originally written
to be a 23 year old white guy and if you look at the movie ken jong was cast so late that he
is costumed in that movie like you would costume me he wears a backpack and college student clothes
the whole movie got weirdly close to that uh uh uh Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles I don't know if I've ever talked about this on the podcast I almost played
Michelangelo in the Michael Bay produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot I was almost on Smash
playing Debra Messing's son that came very close to happening
I mean you would have been the game changing element
I think it would still be on today
I think it would still be on the air
or it would have gotten cancelled faster
one of the two would have happened
didn't we do a Scooby Doo audition together
we did a Scooby Doo audition
for the movie that is now
well was supposed to come out
scoob maybe now will never be released or will end up going straight to to tiktok uh but that
the whole thing was they said they wanted a young comedian to play scooby-doo and they didn't want
them to do an impression of the original voice they wanted them to make it their own do you know
who ultimately got that role
you tell me frank welker who for the last 20 years has been the voice of scooby-doo in every
single media property so someone someone eventually was just like what are you talking about just have
it be scooby-doo jesus christ what the fuck are you talking about bloodshot i was trying really
hard to get cast of bloodshot oh yes you were, you were. But did you come... Yeah, I remember that.
I didn't come as close as the other things I just listed,
but I was trying so hard to get their attention,
and I was sort of getting through to them
that I made an audition tape of myself doing Vin's
quarter-mile-at-a-time monologue from the first Fast and Furious.
And that role was ultimately played by Lamorne morris with a british accent okay have you seen the movie yet no it when
when does it debut not i can't wait tuesday tuesday okay i'm excited too honestly as someone
who skipped the press greeting i am now excited i mean a fatal mistake well i partly skipped it because i was like i
don't know how many more of these uh group events i should be attending uh well yeah yeah yeah yeah
any other regrets griffin any people you maybe regret telling people to punch in the dick for years anybody who wears like sort of a like a hat you
would maybe wear on a boat perhaps look we talked about regrets earlier in the episode and i will
say i actually almost brought this up then i know i think we should talk about this i i do genuinely
regret uh what what the colin trevorrow bit turned into.
Yeah.
And, you know, we genuinely are not huge fans of that guy's movies.
At the time we started doing the show, we were, as we've said,
in a closet doing a show for no money that literally tens of people listened to.
And it felt like, well, this is so clearly
punching up.
Who are we?
This show is nothing.
We're being hyperbolic
in our dislike of this guy
as a person.
It's very clear that it's a bit.
But as things do,
they metastasize,
they grow,
and they take on a life
of their own
to the point that he eventually uh caught
wind of it and was clearly upset that uh a podcast spent three years telling its listeners to punch
him in the penis and it is a thing that uh you know in the same time that we have been doing
this show i have become much more of a public figure than I was when we started.
I am nowhere near the level of success that Colin Trevorrow has achieved.
I say with all sincerity,
but I've sort of now come to understand what it's like to have strangers.
You don't know,
uh,
same things about you and analyzing your intent all of these things
and i think it's a thing that sort of changed the show that you know even if we're going to
criticize things i try to do it from a place of uh much greater empathy uh and and not do things
that can sort of callously be misinterpreted uh and heightened uh to a degree that you can't even
control anymore so i want to say i want to say this look uh genuinely uh i i am sorry to the
captain colin trevorrow he has done a number of things in the last year that i deeply respect
i think his recent jurassic world shorts the best thing he's ever done I think him giving all of his
proceeds from Rise of Skywalker
to Children's Hospital is
classy as fuck
and also, hey guess what Colin
you proved us wrong
your script for episode
9 was inarguably better
you fucking got the last
laugh, you fucking
pwned us, we're the noobs
touche and uh if colin trevorrow ever wanted to come on this show the door is open come on colin
we we are uh we and he can he can punch griffin in the penis i i will say this i you know what
yes i will say this in all sincerity.
If Colin Trevorrow ever... No, I truly...
If Colin Trevorrow ever wants to come on the show,
he is allowed to punch me in the penis.
I mean that.
I mean that.
I swear to God.
It is the least I can offer.
I'm sure he would be the bigger man or whatever.
I'm sure he would not do it, but...
I'm sure he would because he's classier than us,
but he deserves a shot.
He deserves a clean shot at the pain.
All right,
let's wrap this up guys.
I gotta go eat something.
Yup.
Well,
do Griffin and David,
do you want to say nice things to each other?
I'll just say,
I love you boys.
And I really respect you both.
And I think you guys are hilarious and smart.
And the show that we are going to keep doing for a long
time is
I don't know it's just
really fun and cool it is
fun and cool like me
David's pretty cool
no please
David doesn't want to say anything sincere he wants to compliment
himself he wants to say that he's fun and cool
well he is now bad.
He's bad Sims.
He's bad David.
He's bad Sims.
Where is it?
Oh, the shirt.
You're going to put the shirt on?
Get the vest.
Get the vest.
I will say this about David.
It is one of those things where he was the friend I did not know
I was missing in my life
until I met him.
And we met at a weird time.
We met through weird circumstances.
But once we started really clicking,
I recognized this is a person
I can have types of conversations with
that I have never had before.
These conversations I had previously only had in my mind with myself,
or I try to have them with other people, and they go,
I don't understand what the fuck you're talking about.
That is true.
It is a great pleasure and a great privilege if you get to meet someone in your life
who unlocks a different part of yourself in that way.
And the thing that makes me happiest about this show, if I can get emotional for a moment, is that when people message us and say, especially now as people are self-quarantining and social distancing uh you know we get these messages scattered throughout the year but there's been a lot of them in the last 10 days or so people
messaging me directly and saying i really really want to thank you folks for continuing to do the
show and putting out a regular schedule while all of this is going on because I'm kind of losing my mind and the show
really helps me uh and I'm a dude with a broken brain I discuss it a lot I got all sorts of weird
mental and emotional peculiarities and for me one of the things that has always kept me sane
whether or not it is healthy I self-medicate with uh the art and the entertainment i love it is the movies
they're the things you're looking for that give me the movies the movies they give me uh solace
and they help me understand the world a little bit and they give me a little place that feels
like home and uh my friendship with you david is another thing that gives me that uh relief and
what we have i think unknowingly been able
to make with this show, which we never could have done by design. But when people send those
messages, what I recognize is happening is we are allowing other people to join us in these
conversations, people who live in different cities, who live in different countries, who might have
a weird job at weird hours or a weird school in a weird place where no one else cares about the things that they care about.
And you can always go online. You can go on a message board. You can go on Blinkies.reddit.com.
But these conversations, you know, very quickly can take a turn online.
And what we have tried to do with this show is make a conversation that all of you folks can join in on that feels like the beers or the coffee you would have after seeing a great movie or a bad movie when you're trying to dissect it and trying to offer up that kind of friendship to other people.
So, you know, it never gets to the point of seriousness where I have even verbalized this to you folks because
it's never something I'm seriously considering but when I'm in my darkest moments when I'm in
my most stressed out when I'm feeling the most depressed about my career my life or whatever
I go should I stop doing everything should I move to the Alps should I stop doing the podcast
is the podcast a hindrance to my acting career is the podcast a hindrance to my social life
I investigate all of these things because I overthink everything. And the answer to all of them is no, it has only enriched every
sector of my life. But also, when I get a message from someone saying, I've had a really rough year,
I struggle from depression, I've been having medical issues, I went through a bad breakup,
my mom is sick, any of these things, and these messages are coming in with greater frequency now,
mom is sick, any of these things, and these messages are coming in with greater frequency now, uh, as we're all fighting this pandemic, um, it makes me wonder why I would ever consider
stop doing this thing.
Because at the end of the day, it is the only thing I've actually aspired to do, uh, in
my entire life.
Whatever, uh, abstract, uh, career goals I have had at any point in time assigned to
any specific type of job,
the thing I really wanted to do was make something that people could care about,
feel like I made some positive impact in the lives of other people through something they
could consume, because the stuff that I consume is the only stuff that keeps me alive.
So people often send those messages or will like stop us when we're out on the street
and say these things to us.
And I feel like it's always prefaced with an apology.
I'm so sorry to say this.
I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm sure you don't want to hear this.
And I just want to say, uh, never stop saying these things.
Uh, it means the world to me and it means the world to us.
Uh, it's very validating.
And, um, it's, it's honestly, it is a great honor to um be allowed into your
lives in that way and i hope we can uh continue making things a little bit better for you or
at least a little more comfortable for a couple hours a week i agree hell yeah um yes it's very hard to make friends uh this griff's all emotional
it's very sweet we love him i love you buddy i would just like to point out that listeners
the image i want in your head while griffin gave that beautiful really like touching speech there's a shirtless photo looking at each other
both holding surfboards
i'm sitting next to gong lee in a bathrobe
she's in the bathroom that's the image i want in your heads this is a very very silly podcast griff it's very you know it is hard to
make friends when you're a grown-up i don't know if you agree with that but i and i agree 100 and
everything we've been saying it's like it is nuts that it all worked out the way it did and how
easily it could have not worked out um and uh and then it got us where we are today i don't know you
already said all that stuff it was great i can't i can't come on i can't top that hey
classic sims so on brand i'm hungry no it is i feel like the four of us or you know any any two
of us in any configuration often when we're hanging out we'll say like
looking back isn't it crazy that we made that decision at that point there are a bunch of
things that in retrospect we go god we really dodged a bullet there or we somehow did this
thing that helped us weather the weird ups and downs of this podcast industry uh it's weird to
be making a thing in an industry that is still figuring itself out.
And we've gotten really lucky in a lot of ways,
but we also just, we work really hard to try to figure out what you folks are responding to and try to give you more of that.
You know, the money that we have now gotten from Patreon
is something I think we never could have anticipated.
It has changed all four of our lives,
but it is not something that we are going to let make us lazy.
We are not going to rest on our laurels.
We're putting it back into the show.
We're putting it back into the show and into the community.
And we're following the M. Night Shyamalan model, which is you got to bet the house and you got to stay scared and you got to keep on trying to push yourself to new areas.
So, you know, the show is going to keep evolving.
It's nothing dramatic is going to change in the way it sounds to you.
The show will remain the same, but stuff is changing behind the scenes and hopefully it will extend to other things outside of it.
If any of us are ever allowed to leave our house, hopefully we'll be doing more live shows.
And we'll be branching out and having other
podcasts that exist on our little
family tree. And making
some real, real nerdy
merchandise for you folks. We have stuff
that has now gone through production
that is sitting in boxes
that we will... The emails I have received.
They will release to you at some point.
Can I reveal?
Let's reveal one thing because I think it will be exciting to people.
Definitely.
Well, the relevant item to today's episode.
We have a special.
It was going to be sold at our live show.
We have a special design that the great Joe Bowen made for us.
Tough to make the five anniversary design that we were going to sell
as a poster and a shirt we will still be selling them at our new york live shows which are now
rescheduled for june 29th if you already have a ticket your ticket has rolled over to the
equivalent show the earlier late show on that night if you can no longer make the show you
have a ticket they will refund you and thus thus tickets will be opened up to the community
to give some other people a chance to get into that show.
But yes, we have a really cool fifth anniversary design we might post in a little bit.
We'll sell it online as well as a t-shirt and a poster,
but it's just loaded with many of our favorite bits from across the history of the show.
But you want to talk about some real nerdy shit,
an initiative led by our own Angela Barracuda of Farraguto.
We have produced physical comedy point coins.
We have produced arcade-style metal tokens.
Well, I was personally inspired by John Wick.
They are like the John wick coins they are not
valid currency looked up the specifications of the what's the name of the hotel uh the continental
the continental hotel coin but this is a 3d printed relief true metal coin with our dumb faces on it
that is valid for
five comedy points
and in no other way is legal
currency. That is something we have
invested our money into making
and we will be selling
to you for probably
no profit.
The margins on that one
are going to be tough.
But you can give comedy points to your
friend and that's what we want to do that's that's the margin the joke margin the comedy point margin
it's the joke margin we want to open up the comedy point economy as the world economy is tanking the
comedy point economy needs to rise to the occasion um so that stuff will be coming soon and look
forward to more uh future announcements of uh other stuff we try to soon and look forward to more future announcements of
other stuff we try to do we're trying to spread our wings
and come up with some other things we can do
use the money you're giving us for
good and take some wild chances
and maybe eventually get to Disney
World if they ever reopen it
drop in some
final voicemails at the end of this episode
and a bonus size voicemail from the great, uh, Chris Weitz.
Uh, an example of someone who, David, as you said, it is tough to make friends as a grownup.
Uh, this podcast has been a conduit for most of my adult friendships now.
Yeah.
Uh, the people I knew a little bit, the people I've met, the people I've gotten to know better.
the people I knew a little bit, the people I've met,
the people I've gotten to know better.
And Chris is a great example of someone who we were fans of who then improbably listened to the show, reached out to us,
and now has become something of a friend.
A friend and also a collaborator.
And a producer on Night Eggs.
Of course.
So thank you all for listening all these years
to all of these episodes.
And thanks to Ang Perigudo for producing this show, along with Ben Hosley and Rachel Jacobs, who has stepped up to the plate and has done some Herculean work for us over these last couple of months as we have been weathering uh
multiple uh career and industry transitions uh rachel has been uh hugely hugely hugely important
to the show in that time and uh thank you to everyone at audio boom who has supported us
uh and supported us uh but pretty unconditionally Has never tried to change the show.
Has given us a ton of free reign.
And when we jumped over to them, we were still in a weird contractual place.
And they let us record the show with them for many months.
Before a contract had been signed.
Before ads were sold,
before there was anything to get from us.
And it was a real,
uh,
show of character and faith.
Uh,
so thank you,
especially to Brandon over at Audioboom for that.
Yeah.
Um,
and,
it used to be comedy for giving us the,
the start in the first place,
uh,
bits aside,
uh,
they did let us,
uh,
uh,
crack that egg. They didn't need to do that. Yep. They, they did let us crack that egg
they didn't need to do that
they did not they had no reason to in fact
it was probably a bad idea it was probably
poor business strategy
much like everything they do
and thanks
to Joe Bowen and Pat Reynolds for our artwork
two geniuses
people who just
sent us stuff online and you know much like and we said if
you want to keep doing this stuff we'll figure out some way to repay you someday but it is crazy
the longer this has gone on the more and more insane their work has become uh pat especially
who had no background in graphic design and photoshop did this just for fun
uh i feel like every new miniseries artwork he does for us is somehow more complex and more
flawless than the one before it and uh i can't wait for you guys to see the fifth anniversary
design that joe bowen did because it's a real chef's kiss and lay my guard for our theme song
which was you know uh written at the last possible second because I'm bad at planning things.
And the perfect amount of time for
washing your hands. It turns out
to be perfect hand washing time.
Big 20.
And hopefully
our live show at the Bell House
rescheduled will be also the
inaugural live performance
of the Blank Check theme song
with Lane Montgomery. So look forward to that. As well as the debut of my buried jeans. inaugural live performance of the blank check theme song uh with lane montgomery uh so look
forward to that as well as the debut of my buried jeans wow you're gonna reveal that here yep
okay might as well the jeans are out of the ground baby and they are ready to be shown off on the
runway ready to be revealed they will be shown at our live show on the 29th.
Those live shows were originally going to be the first two Toy Story movies as live commentaries.
We're now just doing those on the Patreon feed.
But the thing we have planned for the two live shows now, I think people will be maybe even happier with.
I think they will be truly satisfied
with what we're planning now.
It is very much on game
with two of our classic bits.
And yeah, go to blankies.red.com
for some real nerdy shit.
It is very bizarre.
The community that has sprung up
around this show
and as I sort of alluded to earlier,
it is nice to see people who have a safe online space
where they can run and go,
am I the only person who noticed this weird thing on this poster?
The way I used to feel before I met David
and have a receptive online community there to go,
no, I also noticed this as well,
and it's been driving me crazy.
And we pride ourselves on having a nice fan base
and a place in a world where so much of the shit that happens online,
especially around the entertainment industry,
can get toxic very quickly.
And I implore you all to constantly remain kind.
Be nice.
Represent us well. Be nice. Love movies because that's what it's about at the end of the day and as always david has fully rolled off camera he's been
throwing his hands up like i don't know what to do clearly he is yelling at him I'm hungry he wants to eat he's hungry
and I don't know if you folks know this
but I just feel it's important to say
before we end this episode
I heard a rumor that David's from England
Jesus Christ
okay great ep guys
bye
hi hello this is Shirley Okay, great ep guys, bye!
Hi, hello! This is Shirley. I don't know if I needed to say that.
Anyway, happy 5th anniversary, blank check! Congratulations, what an achievement.
Ange said that I could make this voicemail whatever I wanted it to be and however long I wanted it to be so whoo that is a lot of pressure! at first I thought maybe I would read the architects entire monologue from the matrix reloaded or
describe in excruciating detail the plot of detective Pikachu or do something
just as tedious and on-brand as like a fun little prank. But
truthfully, I'm feeling kind of sentimental sitting here in my apartment in LA, social
distancing with a glass of wine on a Friday afternoon and operating on this like low-grade
level of constant unwavering anxiety about the future. So here's what I want to say. I've only been in the studio
twice for Ang Lee's Sense and Sensibility and for Ponyo during the Miyazaki series, but both of
those visits were, first of all, some of the most fun I've ever had in the middle of a workday.
And second of all, discussions that made me think about movies and movie making in an engaging,
illuminating way that, you know, even though I write about movies and TV shows,
sometimes it gets lonely putting ideas out there for strangers to respond to on the internet,
which is something I've never really gotten used to, to be honest. So I remember that first episode was such a breath of fresh air for me at the time.
You know, just getting to talk about a good movie with good people,
to dive into one piece of filmmaking in the context of a larger filmography,
to hear all your bits and Griffin's impression of Alan Rickman
and Ben's hatred, however misguided, for the film
and David going off the leash, which I am not sorry about by any means. This is going to sound
incredibly cheesy, but I think a lot about this quote from Before Sunset which is one of my favorite movies as I
think maybe David knows uh Esther definitely knows shout out to Esther anyway there's a bit in it
where Celine Julie Delpy's character talks about how when you're really young you take people for
granted that you're just going to keep meeting interesting people all your life.
And it's often only later and sometimes too late that you realize that it's actually
really rare to find people you can truly connect with. And I think the same applies to more than
just people, you know? It certainly goes for the pop culture you consume and for your experiences, too.
Just that serendipitous thrill of discovery.
And I mean, what's the word?
Like kinship?
Togetherness?
Great show on HBO.
Anyway, I just think those times in the studio with you guys fall under that umbrella for me.
And I am grateful.
I really am.
That you opened your door to have me guest for two films that I love dearly.
Thank you for that.
And Griffin, thank you for the comedy points.
And Blankies, thank you for listening.
God, I really hope I'm not the only one leaving a sentimental message.
If I am, I'm not going to apologize.
I'm just maybe a wee bit embarrassed.
But really, congratulations on hitting five years.
That's insane.
Holy shit.
Hopefully I'll see you guys at some point david i'll continue to bug you
on slack stay safe stay healthy and to wrap up i'm going to leave you with a quote from panio
a really poignant one i think so uh
this is so stupid i'm laughing alone in my apartment into my phone bye
hi blank check it's your friend Fran Hoffner from all the way in New Jersey
and I wanted to reach out and wish you guys a happy fifth anniversary of doing the podcast
um but before I get into the things I want to say what I actually want to do
is just fill in the back 30 minutes from my Public Enemies episode,
because I feel like I didn't get to say enough about how cute Stephen Graham is. And now seems
like the sort of perfect opportunity to get in all of my opinions. Just kidding. It's hard to
do a just kidding bit when it's just you alone recording on your phone.
But thank you for the show and thank you for having me on.
Thank you for letting me ask if John Krasinski in The Holiday is the Adam Driver of Lincoln of 2006.
You guys have introduced me to many movies that I think it would have taken me at least two to five years to find on my own. Um, I'm thankful for, you know, the broadcast news episode and for the Billy Lynn episode and
any long diatribe about the mule and or green book, which as far as I'm concerned are kind of just the same movie in my mind now. I listen to this podcast either when
I am commuting or when I am running or taking a walk. And so I get to experience this very unique
point of joy where I get to listen to people talk to movies, which is about movies, which is one of
my favorite things, but also be outside, which is its own unique kind of
loveliness. So thank you in a very literal sense for making being in the world a nice and wonderful
place. And I hope you guys do at least five more years and then maybe it should be done. Okay.
Love you. Hey, Blank Check crew. It's Emily Vanderwerf here for some trans representation.
So David and I used to be in the Slack together, and I remember when he started talking about
this podcast he was going to do with his friend Griffin.
Honestly, it sounded like the worst thing imaginable.
A whole podcast about the Phantom Menace?
Clearly I needed to save my friend from some bad influences.
But five years later, Blank Check isn't just my
favorite podcast. It's a show that's gotten me through some incredibly hard times and some big
changes in my life. I'm so honored to be a once and future guest on the show, and I've been touched
by the fan responses I've gotten to the Silence of the Lambs episode in particular. Griffin and
David, Ben and Ange and Rachel, you've all made something wonderful and
funny and occasionally profound, and I will listen for many, many years to come. Thank you.
I'm good. I'm scared. I miss my friends. Downtown Los Angeles is empty, and it's been raining,
and this is some real Blade Runner shit. I hate being stuck inside,
but I'm glad this show will keep rolling on.
I'm glad all of us have this community of weirdos to come home to every week.
Before I wrap, though, I've got
a taco report.
So I'm at Gorilla Tacos, an amazing taco joint here in DTLA,
and there's this huge collection of tween girls
just screaming their heads off, eating tacos, makingTLA, and there's this huge collection of tween girls just screaming
their heads off, eating tacos, making a mess, and I become aware there is a dad sitting with them,
surrounded by taco detritus, eyes closed, hands folded together in front of his face in the
eternal gesture of, oh god, make it stop. That man, ladies, gentlemen, non-binary friends,
was Jon Favreau.
I'm sorry it wasn't a burger report.
I really had one once, and then I forgot it.
Love you folks.
Love you blankies.
See you when they let us out of our houses.
I will be back on this fucking show, I swear to God. Hello, this is Chris Weitz, director, screenwriter, occasional producer, blankie,
Patreon subscriber, and left me a lovely message soliciting some kind of comment
about movies and about Blank Check in general, so here goes. I'm probably going to get interrupted because we've got three children at home, which is, of course,
wonderful. It tends to impinge on the work quite a bit, but I think I've gotten five minutes aside
to do this. So some reflections on movies, which are going to sound a bit airy-fairy, but, you know, these are very emotional times. Anyway, I've been trying to focus my
12-year-old in this whole homeschooling endeavor, and one thing he seemed interested in was
to learn about filmmaking, perhaps just because he knows that it would involve watching movies.
So we've been watching The Seven Samurai in bits and pieces, not the way that it should be
watched, of course. And we will watch about a half an hour and I will yammer on to him about
the things that Kurosawa is doing, the amazing way that he organizes scenes, how he uses his
experience as an AD to move crowds so beautifully to organize movement.
And I will say, you know, oh, here's some jump cuts.
We haven't seen those in the movie so far.
And look at this.
What kind of lens is this?
Is it wide or is it tight?
And this is called an over-the-shoulder shot.
And talk about the editing rhythms and everything.
And, of course, you know, once you start to cut these things up enough,
it almost seems as though you're losing the particular magic of film.
But actually, I realized that, you know, as he and I watched this,
and we talked about it, and we would say,
oh, that guy's so badass, he's so amazing, you know, we love that samurai.
The interesting position of watching a movie, I mean, in part it's sort of like,
I used to think it was sort of like, you know, when robbers substitute some security camera video, right,
and that you were hijacking your inner perception, perhaps your inner reality with something externally supplied.
And so I guess that's sort of escapism.
For a while you are not yourself.
You are whatever the movie is.
And indeed it's really wonderful when you leave a movie theater
and you have this strange sense that the atmosphere of the movie is continuing.
You sort of find yourself thinking and acting,
sometimes foolishly like a character in one of those
in the film. But actually I was thinking watching Seven Samurai with my son that it's more than that. It's actually as though you're not all gone. There's still a large part of you there. There's
a commenting part, an observing part, and it's this kind of extraordinary kind of metaphysical feeling like you are a god or an
angel you albeit one that doesn't have the power to affect what's going on in front of you but
you're kind of I guess maybe you're a lot to the watcher right you are experiencing this strange transcendent thing of life taking place in front of you.
And I've often thought, and this is perhaps where it gets super airy-fairy,
that people like me who are lucky enough to be able to make these things,
these kind of weird contained waking visions,
are sort of in the position of a priesthood, right? We get to kind of create
these ritual experiences for people. Sometimes we have, you know, extra bits of knowledge that
help us do that well. You know, in fact, everybody can do it, as we know from YouTube. But occasionally
we are given the extra sort of ritual tools and techniques and sometimes we even know a thing or two
about how to do these things. Of course there are some like your Kurosawa's or Director
Bong who seem to channel this sort of divine ability more than others and the rest of us are kind of parish priests, as it were.
This kind of brings me to this metaphor that occurred to me,
like how to encapsulate what I think about what David and Griffin and Ben do.
When we were making Rogue One, that is to say Gareth Edwards and the rest
of the team on Rogue One and I, Gareth was very keen to portray a universe in which the
Jedi were absent, but there were still people who kind of kept the flame alive, these sort
of force sensitive people. So we made up these characters, Chirrut Imwe and Baze Malbus,
and they were guardians of the wills. I went back to the old books of early Lucas nerdsdom
and imagined these sort of monks or priests who didn't have Jedi powers, but they sort of monks or priests who were not, who didn't have Jedi powers, but they sort of kept things
alive. And I sort of think that way about the two friends. I'm going to also throw in Ben,
and I'm going to throw in Ange as well, and all of the contributors to Blank Check, that
they are these kind of force sensitives to the Jedi powers of movie making and they keep this belief in something transcendent alive.
So, you know, Griffon's like, maybe Griffon's like Baze Malbus and Dave's like Jared Imwe.
I don't know who's who.
Anyway, so, you know, when I think about Blank Check and all of the time I've spent with them,
it really, I'm just filled with gratitude for how they have reignited my care for movies,
you know, both high and low.
And, you know, I feel whenever I'm listening to Blank Check and I've told this to the
check guys themselves that I feel like I'm in a more humane and thoughtful and kindly
space than I am at other times.
And I think that the world that they imagine, all of them, and I mean also, you know, Ange and the Mother Blankies and all of, you know, J.D. Amato and all of the wonderful guests who come on I feel as though I'm in a kindler universe for for a little while
and one in which I can focus again on the extraordinary power that these
movies have to entertain us and to also entertain our spirits in a deeper way. So, thank you guys. Everybody out there, stay cool, stay indoors, I guess,
and catch you on the other side of this. Bye-bye.